1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,880 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sanny and Samantha. 2 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,560 Speaker 2: A Hope of stuff I never told you Protection by 3 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:21,439 Speaker 2: Heart Radio, and today we're bringing back a classic As 4 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 2: I am trying to find a primary care provider. Something 5 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 2: you alerted to alerted me to, Samantha, was about how 6 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 2: you can use an obgyn as your primary care provider. 7 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 2: And this whole process is taking me longer than I 8 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 2: thought it would because I do want a woman and 9 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,320 Speaker 2: we did talk about that in our episode about guidecology 10 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,200 Speaker 2: and women and gender, and it's just been a whole 11 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,520 Speaker 2: thing to go through this and to find the person 12 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 2: because you wanted to be the person you're comfortable with, 13 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 2: right And I haven't had much luck to be honest 14 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 2: with you, but I'm still hopeful and determined. I have 15 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 2: somebody I think is the one, but I'm through systematic issues, 16 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 2: technological issues. I'm having trouble getting getting in touch with them, 17 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 2: but hopefully so close. Yeah, get it close. But in 18 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 2: the meantime, please enjoy this classic episode. Hey, this is 19 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 2: Anny and Samantha. I'm at my stuff. I've never told 20 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 2: your production of iHeartRadio. 21 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,880 Speaker 1: And welcome to another Monday mini where I just talk 22 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 1: about personal things. 23 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 2: Excellent, Get wait for that any I don't know, am I. 24 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 1: That's a great question. Beforehand, I am going to put 25 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: this trigger warn I am going to talk about sexual 26 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: abuse a little bit, and we're going to just talk 27 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: about like you know, rus, vagina, all those things. So 28 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 1: if you don't want that to be talked about in public, 29 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 1: or you don't want to have it out loud, you 30 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 1: might want to pass by this one indoor, save it 31 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 1: for a private moment or in your air pods. I 32 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: don't know any of those things, because you know this week. 33 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:24,240 Speaker 1: Last week, I realized that my IUD is overdue. So 34 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 1: essentially I've hit my five year mark with the Kylina 35 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: and I am not being sponsored by any of these 36 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: right now. Just FYI, we've had many episodes about iud's 37 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:34,839 Speaker 1: on here. Well, you've talked about it personally. I've talked 38 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:38,360 Speaker 1: about it personally. I know previous hosts Carolina and Kristen 39 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,200 Speaker 1: talked about it. Caroline talked about her experience and they 40 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 1: actually shared my experience too, which was hilarious because we 41 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: had very different reactions to it. My first experience with 42 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,959 Speaker 1: ID was so simple that I went running that same 43 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,360 Speaker 1: day because I did it did not bother me. I 44 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 1: still had a lot to do with like your pain, 45 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: your period pains in general, and I grew up with 46 00:02:55,639 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: really bad period pains. So when getting that IUD, I 47 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: was like, uh, okay, cool. I will say when I 48 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,360 Speaker 1: got my IUD in, my guy to colleges, who is 49 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: a woman, played it off really easily, was like, yeah, 50 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 1: you'll be fine, because I was like, I heard these 51 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 1: following things in which co host Caroline at the time 52 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: talked about it on here that she threw up and 53 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,640 Speaker 1: she saw spots and she had this really painful experience 54 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 1: versus myself, who I was like, yeah, that's fine, okay. 55 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 1: She literally was like, you want to take some ibuprofen. 56 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: Here's a little local anesthetic and done. And it pinched, 57 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 1: and I moved on getting it removed because right as 58 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 1: the Trump administration came in, it was kind of on 59 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 1: the edge of like, this is the time I was 60 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 1: supposed to get it taken out, and she was like, well, 61 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: you know, technically the ID I had previously the morena 62 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 1: couldn't last up to seven years, so she's like, you 63 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,440 Speaker 1: could wait, and I was like, but it's the Trump administration, 64 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 1: and I don't know what's going to happen and what's 65 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 1: going to be no longer allowed or banned. So I 66 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 1: was like, let's go ahead and change. It's five years, 67 00:03:58,720 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 1: let's go ahead and change it. And so I got 68 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 1: my new one. So I've now hit my five year mark. 69 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 1: Since then, Yeah, it was around that time it was happening. 70 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 1: Things were happening. Rovy Wade was looking really precarious. We 71 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 1: were all like, oh my god, Oh my god. So 72 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: I got it changed, and now I've hit my five 73 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: year mark, and I'm like, okay, let's go back, and 74 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 1: I've kept essentially the same guycologist. I really liked her. 75 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 1: She was a younger, non white person as mycologists. Again, 76 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,600 Speaker 1: like I said, her reactions to like, oh you'll be fine, 77 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 1: these are the things. And that was when I was 78 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 1: initially back and getting a new one. It pulled. It hurt. 79 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 1: Actually getting it changed out hurt a lot more than 80 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,680 Speaker 1: either one. Getting used to it hurt a lot more 81 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: because it cou'd be like six months to get used 82 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,839 Speaker 1: to it. So like, getting past those marks were a 83 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 1: big deal. And I understand like people like I don't 84 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: want to do this, and I get that. Getting past 85 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 1: that has been amazing because I've not had a period 86 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,840 Speaker 1: in like ten years, and I am not unhappy about it. 87 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: Every now and again, I get the phantom pains PMS 88 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 1: period pains that I'm like, oh, oh, why is this? 89 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 1: Because it's not accompanied by actual period blood or blood, 90 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: I don't realize what it is, but I'm like, oh, 91 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: but these are the symptoms. I do remember this, and 92 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 1: recently it's gotten a little worse, and I'm wondering it's 93 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: because I'm at the end of this IUD period, I 94 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:18,000 Speaker 1: like expiration, and so I'm starting to feel a little 95 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 1: more pains. Isn't still no bleeding, So I'm thinking okay. 96 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,359 Speaker 1: But with all of that comes the horror in my 97 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: mind of like, what if it's traveled. What is one 98 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:29,359 Speaker 1: of those things that has gone into the wrong place. 99 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,600 Speaker 1: It's gone into my uterus, and I'm really, really this 100 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,039 Speaker 1: is going to be bad trying to get it out. 101 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: What if I'm pregnant and it's an ectopic pregnancy, And 102 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: because of the laws in the state of Georgia, I'm 103 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 1: because they won't let me do what I need to 104 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 1: do and think they're going to like replant it or something, 105 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 1: which is a misconception and not possible. I know, I'm 106 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:50,160 Speaker 1: speaking to the like I'm speaking to our audience, so 107 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:54,799 Speaker 1: they know I know. But just just in case people 108 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:59,479 Speaker 1: were confused, that's not a thing. But all of that 109 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,000 Speaker 1: is saying is like, it's time for me to go. 110 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: Last time, when I went to see my gotten to colleges, 111 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,680 Speaker 1: she had an intern, someone in med school that was 112 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: shadowing her. It ended up being a man, and I 113 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:15,760 Speaker 1: didn't love that. But because I don't know how to 114 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:19,839 Speaker 1: voice anything, and as secure as I seem and as 115 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 1: like bold as I seem, I'm very insecure and I 116 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 1: don't want to rock the boat. So he came in 117 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,359 Speaker 1: with her and she's like, is this okay? And I 118 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:32,839 Speaker 1: was like, oh yeah, okay, And I again was not 119 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,800 Speaker 1: a huge fan of this. But he did some of 120 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:39,039 Speaker 1: the examinations and he was fine. But for many of 121 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,720 Speaker 1: us who have gone through trauma with men, didn't love this. 122 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 1: I like, it's like see it in the back of 123 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: my head of like, oh my god, this is awful. 124 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,920 Speaker 1: I did not want this. Next go round, I ended 125 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: up going seeing the kind of cologists my regular one 126 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,720 Speaker 1: was not available, so I saw a different woman. But 127 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 1: they initially tried to give me a man, and I 128 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,040 Speaker 1: was like, no, no, no, that's the one thing I 129 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,839 Speaker 1: don't want. Please don't give me man. I had a 130 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 1: different young woman. She was fantastic. It didn't have any issues. 131 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,480 Speaker 1: She was confused because I essentially used my gynecologist as 132 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 1: my primary care position, because I'm like, oh, I didn't 133 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: realize I could do that. Okay, this makes it easier 134 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 1: because I don't want to go to ten different appointments 135 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: for all the different things. I went in with her 136 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 1: for a wellness check. Everything was fine this time around. 137 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 1: I was also ready to go, and they were like, 138 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 1: can you come in today? We have a doctor soul 139 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 1: and so I was like wait because the name was 140 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 1: like generic enough that sometimes it's used for women. I 141 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: know this, and I was like, is that a man? 142 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: Like I had to officially ask. She's like yes, and 143 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 1: I was like, okay, no, I would rather be like 144 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 1: I'm uncomfortable with that. I'd rather a woman. I'd rather 145 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 1: this person that I've known. She's not available for a 146 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:43,480 Speaker 1: while because she's now popular and very very booked, and 147 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 1: she's like, well, the next available appointment is in two months, 148 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: three months, And I was like, good god, what I'm like, Okay, well, 149 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 1: just so you know, I need a new IUD. I'm 150 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 1: having some weird symptoms. I'm a little worried and like 151 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: all these things. She's like, Okay, well we'll put you 152 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:59,120 Speaker 1: in for cancelations, YadA, YadA, YadA, and which made me 153 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 1: really think about the fact that there's a chunk of 154 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: us and this is historically and factually understood that women 155 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: typically prefer to have other women physicians for gynocologists, that's 156 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: been the statistics as in fact, here's what health careers 157 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 1: dot Com says, is impossible to ignore the fact that 158 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 1: many women want a woman practitioner. Says one doctor that 159 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 1: that's because they feel most of the female physicians are 160 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 1: more empathetic. Sometimes it is for comfort levels, since patients 161 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 1: are in a vulnerable position during a pelvic exam. Lastly, 162 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 1: an exam may be gentler since most women have smaller 163 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,960 Speaker 1: hands than their male counterparts. The preference for a female 164 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 1: isn't just anecdotal, As a twenty sixteen review in Obstetrics 165 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,959 Speaker 1: and Gynecology notes, the authors look at twenty three studies 166 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,439 Speaker 1: including fourteen, seven hundred and thirty six patients and determine 167 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 1: that quote the majority of women surveyed, fifty point two 168 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 1: percent preferred female over a male. Obgyn eight point four 169 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:58,400 Speaker 1: preferred a male, and surprisingly forty one point three had 170 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:02,319 Speaker 1: no preference. So very very very small number of women 171 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 1: are like, yes, I would rather have a man. Of course, 172 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: this continues. There's no discounting the woman woman potential for 173 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 1: a warmer exchange in the office, and there's no question 174 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 1: that it as better communication between doctor and patience. It 175 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 1: goes on to say, with this one woman doctor, she's 176 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 1: enjoyed those patient relationships and knows they flourish because women 177 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 1: are smart, talented, thorough and empathetic to patients. Again, we 178 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 1: had that earlier. Manny Man needed any broad about patients 179 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: going to women doctors are more likely to live. Yeah, 180 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 1: it's likely to die in general and obgyn no exception. 181 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 1: I think probably more so. And it goes on to 182 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:55,680 Speaker 1: talk about how specifically like what their conversations are like, 183 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,800 Speaker 1: and what it looks like to have a woman kind 184 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,840 Speaker 1: of being like a mother figure or a sister figure 185 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 1: being able to talk to you because they know how 186 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: this feels. Although there is a reminder because there's also 187 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 1: been horror stories where women doctors do associate their own 188 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 1: experience and displaces them onto their patients, and their experience 189 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,440 Speaker 1: may be completely different. So they may, like me, not 190 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 1: had that much pain, and so assume everybody's like that, 191 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 1: which is not true, which is cannot be true, and 192 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,560 Speaker 1: there's different levels of pain also also like with things 193 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:29,600 Speaker 1: like indiemetriosis and all those other unknown even ailments that 194 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:33,080 Speaker 1: happened that people have dismissed for years that they are 195 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:36,240 Speaker 1: not often talked about enough. Again, we also talked about 196 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 1: the amount of time that a person spends with a doctor. 197 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,800 Speaker 1: I will say my initial doctor, she was great, but 198 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 1: then the second time along, even though she didn't remember me, 199 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 1: it was much quicker, and maybe because she had like 200 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 1: a fuller plate, the newer doctor that had gone to 201 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 1: the young woman. She was young and fairly new practicing, 202 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,200 Speaker 1: so she was a lot more like detailed with me, 203 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,600 Speaker 1: also a lot more confused on some of the things 204 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 1: I requested. I was like, oh, this is interesting, but 205 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: all this to say, like this was a back and 206 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 1: forth in my head, like is there a reason beyond 207 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: like what I assume? Again for me specifically, yes, mine 208 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 1: is a trauma reaction. And I don't think I ever 209 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 1: told any of my doctors this, and this is where 210 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 1: I'm like, just so yo, no, I have a vivid 211 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 1: memory slash dream like one of the things that I remember. Again, 212 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 1: it may have been a dream, but it's it's associated 213 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 1: with something because this was a young childhood where I 214 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: was getting examed as a five year old in a 215 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,960 Speaker 1: room full of men. And when I say exammed, I'm 216 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 1: talking about like a literal gynecological exam. Why would that 217 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:43,320 Speaker 1: happen for a five year old? There's a lot of questions. 218 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:46,359 Speaker 1: I just have a vivid, vivid picture of being surrounded 219 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:50,080 Speaker 1: by men in a room while I was being exammed. 220 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 1: So like all these things, that is such a vivid 221 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,160 Speaker 1: and wild picture for me that scares the living daylights 222 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 1: out of me, even to this age, because I'm like, 223 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,080 Speaker 1: these are some of the reasons I have repressed memories. 224 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,960 Speaker 1: I don't remember a lot from my childhood. I just 225 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 1: know I have a lot of fear when it came 226 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 1: to men in general and then growing up, so like 227 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:13,680 Speaker 1: all of that to say, for me, there was a 228 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 1: reason like no, I don't I don't want a man, 229 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 1: And of course with that there's this a level of like, 230 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:23,839 Speaker 1: but there is a bias obviously from me because of 231 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 1: that trauma response. And it's not their fault and it's 232 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:30,440 Speaker 1: not my fault. And there have been articles upon articles 233 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 1: honestly saying please choose a man, and these are from 234 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:42,160 Speaker 1: obviously men. In fact, one article written by doctor Laway saying, 235 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:46,880 Speaker 1: who is a Singaporean opgu I n H. It's like, 236 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 1: these are the six reasons you should, you know, come 237 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 1: to a man, like he specifically says this, and then 238 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: one says they can be easy to talk to. So 239 00:12:55,320 --> 00:13:00,320 Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, so are women maybe more so? I 240 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: don't know. And then the next one was males can 241 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:11,200 Speaker 1: understand female anatomy too, and I was like, oh okay, okay, okay, 242 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,040 Speaker 1: so sure. The next one was like they are equally experienced, 243 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:15,480 Speaker 1: and that could be true, like when it comes to 244 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,199 Speaker 1: like medical practices and learning, they all go through the 245 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,320 Speaker 1: same training, they all go through the same uh education. 246 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 1: But once again that that personal experience can be different 247 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,679 Speaker 1: as well as we understand that. The narrative is that 248 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,200 Speaker 1: men often try to go higher up very quickly, so 249 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:35,480 Speaker 1: sometimes don't have that personal understanding. It says men could 250 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 1: be easy to talk to. They said it again. I 251 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 1: just realized the really so like, there's actually five reasons, 252 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 1: and then then he just added one more to it 253 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 1: to give you six. They are caring in humorous and 254 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 1: they they broke the common stereotype. And I'm like, no, 255 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 1: that's not actually true because in the different article they 256 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,680 Speaker 1: talk about how God and colleges explain why there's so 257 00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:01,679 Speaker 1: many men in the profession, and so like, so many 258 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,959 Speaker 1: maybe in comparison to they're not saying that it's more men, 259 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,439 Speaker 1: but they're saying there's a lot of men. Stanford summary 260 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,960 Speaker 1: of the study noted that females typically requested females us, 261 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,480 Speaker 1: possibly due to the expectation of kindness and combession, but 262 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,200 Speaker 1: then after initial awkwardness, female patients do seem to want 263 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:17,120 Speaker 1: male doctors, and in that article it says at this point, 264 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:20,000 Speaker 1: the data shows that men tend to prefer gynecology, while 265 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 1: female trainees lean towards obstetrics, which focuses on pregnancy, childbirth, 266 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 1: and the postpartum period. This could also be down to 267 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,520 Speaker 1: gender based hurdles. Gynecology is a slightly more surgical specialty 268 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: compared to obstetrics, and surgery has always been a slightly 269 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 1: more male dominated area, which comes with its own challenges. 270 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 1: A doctor says surgical training can be pretty intense with 271 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 1: really long days, which can be tricky if you're trying 272 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,360 Speaker 1: to juggle training with having a family and working part time. 273 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 1: Isn't always easy. The same doctor as that women can 274 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 1: also still face sexism in the workplace, though that it's changing, 275 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 1: and acknowledge that the issue she has raises also face 276 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: women outside the medical profession. So yes, Obviously, that conversation 277 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 1: is the that sexism still exists even in a field 278 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:05,120 Speaker 1: that specialized for uterses. So I find that interesting in 279 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: that conversation because in another article they do talk about 280 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 1: how oftentimes even in the higher ups in this field 281 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:14,080 Speaker 1: is still men, so it is still dominated by men 282 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 1: even though there's lesser of them in this field. All 283 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 1: of those conversations come into play. I found several articles 284 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 1: that I'm not going to get too much into it 285 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:38,120 Speaker 1: about trauma informed care for obg y ns and what 286 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:41,000 Speaker 1: is noted, they do talk about clinical indicators of possible 287 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 1: past sexual trauma in the way they say not able 288 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,480 Speaker 1: to feel fetal movement, some women have numbed the part 289 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:50,000 Speaker 1: of the body, so apparently that could be a sign 290 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 1: chronic pelvic pain missed prenatal appointments, panic with vaginal exams, 291 00:15:54,320 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 1: extreme anxiety disassociation. So all of those things could be signed, 292 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 1: but also all those things could be coming because you 293 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 1: were like, this is about my vagina and this is awkward, 294 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: and I don't know what to do because it's so 295 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,760 Speaker 1: it's so taboo in general, Like vaginas are so taboo 296 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 1: in general, and people are ashamed of it. They have 297 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,320 Speaker 1: this shame culture of what it is, to the point 298 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 1: that many people don't go to the guy in college 299 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 1: just in general when they desperately, when everybody desperately should 300 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 1: do it, and they do tell practitioners, you know, what 301 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:26,200 Speaker 1: they can do to minimize those types of pain about like, 302 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:30,160 Speaker 1: you know, they should be mindful of the imbalance of power, yes, 303 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: in this the doctor type power. And then with that, 304 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 1: of course, came article upon article about different abuse cases 305 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: that happened that are all generally men. I didn't see 306 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 1: any statistics that show that there were more cases of 307 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 1: abuse in uh OBGYN than any other practice. I didn't 308 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,000 Speaker 1: see that, But the ones that I did see were 309 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 1: all men, Like it was a male practitioner. And that's 310 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,120 Speaker 1: again that small inkling of like could this happen to 311 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,800 Speaker 1: me because there was like some of the witness statements 312 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,960 Speaker 1: were I thought this was part of the exam, and 313 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,399 Speaker 1: then realizing later that it was actually really sexual and 314 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,159 Speaker 1: you're like, wait what. And again though I have definitely 315 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:10,360 Speaker 1: I know mail ob g i Ns, and they've talked 316 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,720 Speaker 1: about how like it's just the body part, just like 317 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,159 Speaker 1: any other things, and they have no connection to it, 318 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,359 Speaker 1: and you have to disassociate because this is not sexual 319 00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: to them at all, which is what you want to hear. 320 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,720 Speaker 1: But at the same time, things have happened where you're like, hmm, 321 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:27,000 Speaker 1: but is it. And then there was one small article 322 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:30,359 Speaker 1: and I realized this publication was an extremely white, right 323 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 1: winged teen magazine, which I've talked about before, and I 324 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,840 Speaker 1: believe we talked about them and our Christianity episode. But 325 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 1: their title is mail obe g y Ns are some 326 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:45,080 Speaker 1: of the most prolific predators in society, and they're flying 327 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,440 Speaker 1: under the radar. So I don't want to play into 328 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 1: that either because I would say probably more like church 329 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,440 Speaker 1: priests and preachers. But okay, we'll just leave it there. 330 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,440 Speaker 1: But in that that us that conversation like that does 331 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,280 Speaker 1: also maybe that's a part of what's in my brain 332 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 1: that's the bias, that's like that fear could be true. 333 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,080 Speaker 1: I think about that. Dentists too though, because I've heard 334 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 1: horror stories about dentists. You'll love having good time. This 335 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,320 Speaker 1: has everything to do with my trauma. But again it 336 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:21,879 Speaker 1: comes back to like I'm interested in why men chose 337 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:26,439 Speaker 1: these professions more so than anything else. Not that they can't, 338 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,800 Speaker 1: and not that any profession is not. It should be 339 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,879 Speaker 1: wide open and should have open opportunities and equal opportunities, 340 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,879 Speaker 1: and we've always said that, but it does fascinate me 341 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:40,480 Speaker 1: about why do men want to be in gynecology? Is 342 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,400 Speaker 1: it for the money? Is it easy? Because like we've 343 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 1: talked about how like social work and teaching, it is 344 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:52,360 Speaker 1: mainly women nominated fields and then we have but when 345 00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:56,359 Speaker 1: a man does come in, they're get celebrated a little 346 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 1: more so they're more like celebrity. And it is at 347 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,680 Speaker 1: that same level like, oh, you're doing something unique and 348 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,840 Speaker 1: not like you really care about women in this field, 349 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,639 Speaker 1: or you really care about children, which is such a 350 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:09,160 Speaker 1: feminine thing, or any of those level that I wonder 351 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 1: if that's part of the appeal. But yeah, I just 352 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:15,359 Speaker 1: went down this rabbit hole of like, how often do 353 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 1: we see this? How do we I guess, combat it 354 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:21,320 Speaker 1: or ease our nerves? And should I give this? Should 355 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,399 Speaker 1: I have given this man a chance? Because I'm like, 356 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,639 Speaker 1: now I have to wait three months? Also, can we 357 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,600 Speaker 1: talk about the healthyer system that like I am, I 358 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,800 Speaker 1: have these symptoms, I'm a little worried, and they're like, well, 359 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,479 Speaker 1: if anything bad happens, go to the er or our 360 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,320 Speaker 1: urgent care, which is like ten times the amount of 361 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,120 Speaker 1: what you have to pay. 362 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, our systems, it really is. 363 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,720 Speaker 1: They're trying to kill people with uterses and marginalized people. Anyway, Yeah, 364 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 1: that's another episode. 365 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,200 Speaker 2: I will say. I know I've told the story before, 366 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,199 Speaker 2: so I won't do it again. But I was traumatized 367 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:56,600 Speaker 2: by my first right is it too? A gynecologist and 368 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,360 Speaker 2: he was a huge broad man, so it was a man. 369 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:07,120 Speaker 2: It was a man, huge, and I was fifteen and 370 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 2: he didn't really tell me anything. And then he told 371 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 2: me he was going to call my dad and tell 372 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 2: him I'm pregnant. And if you ever listened to Thirteen 373 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,680 Speaker 2: Days of Halloween, the first story I have on there 374 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:23,720 Speaker 2: Red Velvet is based on the trauma I went through 375 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,480 Speaker 2: after I wrote it. 376 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,760 Speaker 1: In high school. I felt like he should have been reported. 377 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:32,720 Speaker 1: Is there a statute of limitations on that he? 378 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:36,280 Speaker 2: He legitimately traumatized me. And when that whole Trump thing 379 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,440 Speaker 2: was happening, I wanted to get an IUD even though 380 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,119 Speaker 2: like it was aming sex. But I was just like 381 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 2: just in case. But I said, I knew I was 382 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,159 Speaker 2: gonna I'm too, I was gonna need some kind of 383 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,320 Speaker 2: drugs or something. Yeah, I was going to panic. So 384 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 2: I never did it. But that's I mean, that's the 385 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,160 Speaker 2: extent of what we're talking about and why it's important, 386 00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 2: because yeah, you shouldn't be afraid to get healthcare right, 387 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,400 Speaker 2: just look after yourself, right. 388 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:07,200 Speaker 1: But here we are, Here we are, and I'll tell 389 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:14,360 Speaker 1: you in two months and everything's okay. Three months so well. 390 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:20,879 Speaker 2: On that grim note, we have heard from so many listeners. Unfortunately, 391 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,960 Speaker 2: we love hearing from you, but it's unfortunate how many 392 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 2: of how many of you have had experiences like this. 393 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,920 Speaker 2: We appreciate you taking the time to share them because 394 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,800 Speaker 2: we do think this is really important to talk about. 395 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 2: So if you would like to contact us about any 396 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:39,119 Speaker 2: of this or any resources or information you can, you 397 00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 2: can email us a Stuffania Mom stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. 398 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,040 Speaker 2: You can find us on Twitter, at most of a 399 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 2: podcast or Instagram and TikTok at stuff When Ever told You. 400 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:50,919 Speaker 2: We're also on YouTube and onto public, and we have 401 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,879 Speaker 2: a book you can get wherever you get here books. 402 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,719 Speaker 2: Thanks as always too, our super producer Christine, our executive 403 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,160 Speaker 2: ducer Maya, and our contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks 404 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,240 Speaker 2: to you for listening Stuff I Ever Told You production 405 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:01,960 Speaker 2: of I Heart Radio for podcasts or my heart Radio. 406 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 2: You can check out the heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 407 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,480 Speaker 2: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.