WEBVTT - BONUS: Stressors 0:00:06.040 --> 0:00:09.240 Hello, my loves, Welcome back to the bonus episode of 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:11.880 the Give Them a La Podcast. I'm hyper for today 0:00:11.960 --> 0:00:15.000 because you know, today we're talking about stressors, and I 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:17.320 like talking about stressors when I ain't stressed. 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:19.000 Oh that's nice. 0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:22.279 I feel like it's a more productive conversation. If I'm 0:00:22.480 --> 0:00:26.479 stressed and we're talking about my stressors, it's enough for 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:28.960 me to go, put me to bed, put me to bed, 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:31.760 and then I just get sad and I cry and 0:00:31.800 --> 0:00:35.040 talk about how no one gets it, no one gets 0:00:35.080 --> 0:00:40.760 it right. But I think there are many stressors in life. 0:00:40.840 --> 0:00:44.040 I think kids can add a stress to things. I 0:00:44.040 --> 0:00:47.080 think money is obviously going to be a huge one, 0:00:47.600 --> 0:00:54.200 but like even family dynamics can become very stressful. Age age, 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:57.720 you know, like nothing stresses me out more than being 0:00:57.800 --> 0:01:01.720 pregnant and knowing I can't get botox for over nine months. 0:01:01.920 --> 0:01:06.120 My god, my lines are syncing in my elevens, not 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:14.960 the eleven The elevens are really really yours are there? Yeah, 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:17.880 I'm gonna look like you soon, And you know that's fine, 0:01:18.440 --> 0:01:21.759 that's fine. But sometimes they get so deep where you're like, oh, 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:25.320 this is beyond the body or the daxify this is like, 0:01:25.360 --> 0:01:29.039 we need some filler, you know, and then that gets tricky. 0:01:29.160 --> 0:01:30.600 So it's it's a lot of stress. 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:35.600 Yeah, it's a lot of stress. 0:01:39.240 --> 0:01:42.720 The people, you guys. 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:47.400 I'm trying to hit all the nodes, Okay, all right, 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:50.280 I'm trying to hit all the notes because what I've 0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:53.760 learned is we have in the dams many people who 0:01:53.800 --> 0:01:57.440 have different stressors, and some are more important than others. 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:01.720 But I'm letting you know I relate. Yes, whether it's 0:02:02.080 --> 0:02:06.480 because you're getting elevens between the eyes or because. 0:02:06.240 --> 0:02:07.760 You need eleven dollars. 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:10.040 Yes, you need even dollars. 0:02:10.280 --> 0:02:12.440 Been there, haven't we all? 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:14.079 Haven't we all? 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:15.200 No? 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:19.960 No, but for real, you know you've never had a 0:02:20.000 --> 0:02:22.440 parking ticket with nineteen bucks left to your neck. 0:02:23.440 --> 0:02:26.040 I used to look at Danielle on Olympic and be like, 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:28.680 all right, so we need to choose. Are we eating 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:32.080 at Einstein's today or is our buzz tonight more important? 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:36.280 Always I only got enough for two bagels or a 0:02:36.320 --> 0:02:37.840 bottle of bottomshelf vodka? 0:02:37.840 --> 0:02:41.840 Bitch, all right, which way we going? It usually went to. 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:45.639 The bottom shehelf and then just walk into Einstein's and 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:47.639 just flash them a bagel. 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:51.880 Wow, we ladies, titties for carbs, I don't know, titties 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:52.600 don't do much. 0:02:52.440 --> 0:02:55.400 And weehoe, I need to start going out there. 0:02:55.440 --> 0:03:01.160 Maybe what are your stresses? Easton? Just stressers right now? 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:04.960 Honestly, no, I feel like I've been that was my thing. 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:07.200 Was my anxiety big. 0:03:07.040 --> 0:03:08.000 As small as you want? 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:10.280 Well, I mean no. 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:17.520 Stressing you out, yeah, you and mother, this bitch and 0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:18.720 then this bitch is mom. 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:20.880 You know you and mother. 0:03:23.040 --> 0:03:25.520 Honestly, no, like there's no stressors like I feel like 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:28.520 I stress about the stupid Like I stress about like 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:31.360 if I have to like pack, Like stress is me 0:03:31.480 --> 0:03:35.360 going to Palm Springs looking at all of my disarray clothes, 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:37.880 going what do I bring? 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:39.800 Like that has been a stress? Like that is a 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:41.760 stress and then if I stress about that, it throws 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:42.000 me in. 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:44.760 But other than that, like I'm stressed about like things 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:45.840 I'm trying to get going. 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:48.240 But like other than that, like I can't. 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:50.480 There's nothing that I can do to change it, so 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:52.200 I can't stress about it. 0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:52.920 It's you know. 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:55.600 Like that's one thing that I'm trying to do is 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:58.880 like I can't stress about something I'm not in charge of. 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:02.320 I like, yeah, but that I think I think that 0:04:02.400 --> 0:04:04.480 has come with your medication. 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:06.720 Because my medication is a lot of things. 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:10.160 Many occasions have spoken to you on the phone and 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:13.400 you have been stressed about living in Utah when your 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:17.200 car has broken and you would need to drive from 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:20.440 point A to point B and it's five thousand dollars 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:23.760 and yeah, I mean yeah, like like, yes, we're all 0:04:23.800 --> 0:04:27.360 privileged sitting here right now, but I mean you're not 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:29.680 sitting around being like my stress is what I have 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:30.279 to pack. 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:33.280 For pumps, Like can I be between. 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:34.880 Me and my boat talks the levens. 0:04:34.440 --> 0:04:36.720 And you and your pump sound. 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:41.159 So that when I did leave in Utah, getting to 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:45.440 work because I had a fucking rear real drive BMW 0:04:46.120 --> 0:04:50.080 dumbest car to buy, dumbest fucking car, I would have 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:52.679 to some days call out of work because I couldn't 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:55.800 get into work. But yeah, no, so like getting to 0:04:55.880 --> 0:04:57.800 work when it would snow because I didn't have the 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:01.159 proper tires nor did they make them for that vehicle. 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:02.320 No they didn't, But. 0:05:02.320 --> 0:05:03.599 Yeah, like that was always a stress. 0:05:03.600 --> 0:05:05.640 I'd be looking out the window at like eleven o'clock 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:09.040 at night and it's snowing, and I'm like, I need money. 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:11.720 May not be able to get to work from not 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:15.080 taking UTA. 0:05:13.760 --> 0:05:16.600 Which, by the way, though Utah Transit Authority. 0:05:16.360 --> 0:05:19.080 Is the nicest one, but it does not do like 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:22.080 metro Metro gets you there. I would for me to 0:05:22.120 --> 0:05:24.840 get to work from a seventeen minute drive, it was 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:26.680 an hour and forty five minute bus ride. 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:28.960 Beyond not doing it unacceptable. 0:05:29.000 --> 0:05:31.280 Wow, No, I'd rather get strike. 0:05:31.720 --> 0:05:35.000 I have to say, I think there was no bigger 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:39.120 stressor for me, And I wrote about this in my book, 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:42.599 so it's not like I'm sharing anything new. But my 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:47.159 biggest stressor, I think was when I think about my 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:51.280 stress now and what I've been stressed about back in 0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:55.400 the day, during not childhood, but my teen years when 0:05:57.080 --> 0:06:00.680 the recession happened in two thousand in an eight and 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:06.400 my dad basically lost everything, and quite frankly, had my 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:10.279 mom not had a job or been smart with her money, 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:15.839 I think we would have lost our house. I was very, 0:06:16.080 --> 0:06:18.560 very concerned. It was like, not only was their stress 0:06:18.600 --> 0:06:22.080 in the home about you know, what was going to 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:25.279 happen with Yeah, Easton went out and got a job, 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:29.520 I started working. You know, there were times my dad, 0:06:29.560 --> 0:06:31.599 who by the way, is like everything in the world 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:33.240 to me, I don't have a bad thing to say, 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:35.320 And I know shit happens as I get older. 0:06:35.360 --> 0:06:37.880 I know shit happened contracting, and that's the biggest thing. 0:06:37.920 --> 0:06:40.840 It's the biggest thing that got hit. You watch housewives 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:45.640 during that point in time, and anyone in that line 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:49.120 of work really got hit hard and couldn't really recover. 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:52.200 But my dad would come and ask me for money 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:55.320 to like fill up his car with gas, right, and 0:06:55.360 --> 0:06:59.359 like I wouldn't tell my mom, and it just that 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:02.760 was a very very stressful time just in life, right, 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.280 not knowing if your parents were gonna make it through 0:07:05.600 --> 0:07:07.839 after you're like, I've known this for eighteen years and 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:10.000 now like my parents are kind of at each other's 0:07:10.000 --> 0:07:13.000 throats because money is a huge stressor in people's households. 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:16.120 But then it was like, are we gonna be able 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:19.200 to like live in this house still? Which it was 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:22.000 a big, beautiful home and we were very fortunate for 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:25.280 many years. But I remember talking to my parents being like, 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:28.480 let's downsize. I don't care, like I just want the 0:07:28.640 --> 0:07:31.320 arguing the household to stop, right, you know. 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:33.520 Yeah, No, I remember asking that too, and then I 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:36.040 just remember mom saying with like the space that we 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:38.280 have in the mortgage. She was like, I were in 0:07:38.280 --> 0:07:41.200 a better position than if we were to do something else. Right, 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:43.800 So I was like, all right, because dad built the house, 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:46.160 so it's not like we owed a shitload, you know. 0:07:46.680 --> 0:07:50.800 Right, No, But I the reason I'm bringing that up 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:53.840 is because I think there are times where maybe people 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:56.440 look at certain people's lives and they think that there's 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:58.800 never been a stress in the world. And I think, 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:04.240 no matter who you are, there's tremendous stress, whether you 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:05.960 can relate to it or not. I think money's a 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:08.840 very relatable one. And even though that may not be 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:13.800 a stress today, for me, it's trauma. There's trauma from before. 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:18.080 And I'm pretty damn sure that I can't promise tomorrow. 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:22.000 I may not be financially okay tomorrow. And I think 0:08:22.000 --> 0:08:24.320 that's what I learned from my dad, that like we 0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:28.640 went from like we didn't live like a lavish lifestyle, 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.160 but we didn't go without no, not at all. If 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.360 I want to do sneakers, if I wanted to, if 0:08:33.400 --> 0:08:36.000 we wanted to go to Hawaii, we could do those things. 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:42.160 To Like, I'm I can't ask my dad for ten bucks, Yeah. 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:43.760 I'd feel so bad asking for money. 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:46.319 Yeah, by the way, it's all I mean. 0:08:46.360 --> 0:08:47.719 I know people will come out and be like, oh, 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:50.319 you can't stress about money, you're whatever. 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:52.400 But it's all relative. 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:55.760 And I learned this working for very wealthy families when 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:56.800 I was a nanny. 0:08:57.000 --> 0:08:59.760 And armchair expert Dak Shepherd. 0:08:59.800 --> 0:09:02.000 He said when he first started getting into acting, he 0:09:02.000 --> 0:09:03.040 started getting all this. 0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:04.800 Money and he was like, I could buy all these things, 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:06.520 and he was rich. 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:10.120 I guess rich. And he's still up until a few 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:12.640 years ago. Every day he would worry because of the 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:14.800 trauma when he was growing up. I'm gonna wake up 0:09:14.840 --> 0:09:16.920 and it's all gonna be gone, Like my money's gonna 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:17.240 be gone. 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:19.839 And he's like, and I understood. I'm a smart person. 0:09:19.880 --> 0:09:24.320 I understood that's not reality. But it didn't matter. It 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:27.079 was like I always feared, like something's gonna happen and 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:30.320 I'm gonna lose everything. So we can Money can be 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:35.640 a stressor if you're extremely wealthy or whatever. It's all relative. 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:37.559 It doesn't have to do with how much is in 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:39.640 your bank account. It has to do with a lot money. 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:41.840 What trauma do you have behind me? 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:45.960 Well, we all have a very personal relationship with money. Yeah, 0:09:46.160 --> 0:09:49.240 very yes. What are your stressors? 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:52.080 My stressor? I'll talk about one that I mean, you know, 0:09:52.120 --> 0:09:52.640 I've had. 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:55.199 Like classic stressors in my life, but I'll talk about 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:57.760 one today is age. 0:09:58.000 --> 0:09:59.120 And it's weird for me. 0:09:59.160 --> 0:10:01.680 I'm thirty two, so I know I'm saying this already 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:04.880 and people are like, oh, shut up, because I said 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:07.640 it when I was like, you know, twenty five, I'd 0:10:07.640 --> 0:10:09.960 be like, oh, I'm twenty five, and like thirty year 0:10:09.960 --> 0:10:13.839 olds would be like shut up. But it's interesting as 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:16.120 a woman, I go back and forth, like I'm thirty two. 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:19.680 We have the biological clock we can't ignore, and you 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:21.800 just kind of go back and forth or like what 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:24.200 do I want out of life? I'm thirty two, and 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:26.840 every day it's like one day I'm like, I don't 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:27.800 have to worry about that. 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:31.640 Stop stressing. It's twenty twenty four? Is it twenty twenty five? 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:33.040 Y twenty twenty four? 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:36.800 And then another day and the next day I'll be like, no, 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:39.200 I have to worry about that, Like I have to 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:40.120 because I'm a woman. 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:41.560 So I just go back and forth. 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:45.280 That's a stressor that like is not a stressor because 0:10:45.320 --> 0:10:50.400 I can be logical and think like It'll all happen 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:51.160 how it's supposed to. 0:10:51.600 --> 0:10:52.560 But it's one that comes. 0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:54.480 Up here that is that's a big stressor for me 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:55.280 now that you say it. 0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:58.360 Ah, yeah, because I'm thinking, Okay, I want to be 0:10:59.320 --> 0:11:03.040 successful in business that I'm enjoying. I also want to 0:11:03.080 --> 0:11:06.200 find somebody. And every day I'm like, I got time. 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:08.559 And I've been saying this for a while and it's like, 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:10.680 oh no, I don't have that much time. 0:11:11.000 --> 0:11:13.520 You do, I know, but you do have time. 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:16.600 It is like, but it's a stress because I have time, 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:18.600 but I want it sooner than later. 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:23.160 But I think also you're thinking about things as very 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:28.720 black and white. You could find someone tomorrow at this age, 0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:31.560 and there's no guarantee that that's going to work out 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:34.439 to where you're sitting going, well, I got I want 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:39.199 to find someone new. I mean, think about Ben Affleck 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:42.800 and Jennifer Garner. I mean they met, got divorced, he 0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:45.160 got back with j Lo. I've heard there on the rocks. Now, 0:11:45.200 --> 0:11:49.320 like that's not a solid thing to have. When you 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:53.560 say I want to find somebody, well, that isn't even 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:54.600 guaranteed to last. 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:58.680 But like kids, I mean, that's the thing that's the stressor. 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:01.959 It isn't. So it's like do you all do you Okay? 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:04.719 Because I want family, I will also want to be 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:08.040 you know, financially stable where I don't worry about what 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:10.400 anything costs, where I can have one or two kids 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:13.319 and not worry about their college being paid for because 0:12:13.360 --> 0:12:17.000 I have that, Like I want that structure. And that's 0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:19.120 a stressor for me of like, okay, I have to 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:22.679 work there. I am getting older, I need to hurry right, 0:12:22.720 --> 0:12:25.600 and then I'm you know, I don't want to be 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:27.800 a sixty year old father. 0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:29.840 With a ten year old kid. I get that, you know, 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:32.080 and then shout out to everyone that's doing that. But 0:12:32.160 --> 0:12:33.360 like you want that for you? 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:36.600 Yeah, my dad was an older dad for me, I 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:38.800 he would you know, we do things, but he was older. 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:41.400 I could see it, like I want to be you know. 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:43.560 So that's a stress for me of like I'm not 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:47.920 looking for a wife at that, you know, Like it's weird. 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:50.040 I'm looking for a family, but I don't know if 0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:53.520 a girl or a wife is in it. Like I 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:54.400 just want kids. 0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:56.720 But that's the stressor of it, Like which way do 0:12:56.760 --> 0:12:57.400 I go about it? 0:12:57.440 --> 0:13:00.120 Do you think that something society puts on us, or 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:01.800 do you think that that we're built that way? 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:03.200 What start about family? 0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:07.040 Just about the where you should be in life at 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:08.240 a certain point in time. 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:10.120 I definitely think it's a societal thing. 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:13.720 And I think that like to your point, Lala, Yes, 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:15.840 you can be a person who goes, oh, well I 0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:19.240 want this at this age and then so you I'm 0:13:19.240 --> 0:13:22.199 not gonna say settle, but some people do and they go, well, 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:25.440 I'm already thirty, so sure I'm gonna get married and 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:27.160 I'm going to have a baby because that's what I want. 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:30.280 And then you end up which is fine, but maybe 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:32.679 you end up divorced, maybe you end up sharing a child, 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:38.559 sharing custody, and so it is. It's an interesting dynamic 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:40.920 because you did get the marriage and you got the kid, 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:44.720 but then your future maybe doesn't look how you wanted. 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.679 Well, I think that's the biggest thing when people start 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:53.240 thinking about how they pictured their life. The best way 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:56.720 I can put it is one day I had a dad, 0:13:56.760 --> 0:14:00.319 in the next day I did not. Things change like that. 0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:04.120 So you may be sitting here not knowing which way 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:07.080 or direction you want to go. The universe is going 0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:09.560 to push you one way or the other no matter 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:13.760 what and in order for me personally to find peace 0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:16.920 in things that have happened in my life, I have 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:20.200 to believe that there was a well thought out plan 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:23.480 for me before I even landed on this earth, you know. 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:27.440 So that's the way that I felt I'm able to 0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:30.800 deal with things that I do get extremely stressed about. 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:33.720 One of them is a custody battle. Like you said, 0:14:34.120 --> 0:14:37.280 I never in a million years imagined my life being 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:42.760 that way. This way, so nothing is set in stone. 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:45.400 But it's a stress of the you know, of course 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:46.400 it's a stress. 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:49.840 Of course, no, and you have to work through those moments. 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:52.200 I think that's the biggest thing is how do we 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:55.480 work through the moments that we cannot control. It is 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:58.440 very hard. I don't care who you are. Everyone likes 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:01.120 to control in So that's. 0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:03.320 The one thing that I am trying to let go of. 0:15:03.800 --> 0:15:06.440 Thank God for the med shut out my doctor. Yeah, 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:08.920 but yeah, like that's the thing. Like I stress about 0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:11.840 things constantly. I'd stress over things that like you were 0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:13.200 doing or mom, not even. 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:13.800 You didn't even need me. 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:16.040 I just stress about it because I just was like, 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:18.680 you know, how can I help? 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:22.960 But I couldn't help, you know, there's nothing to do. 0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:25.120 There's nothing to do, but it's a stress and it's 0:15:25.120 --> 0:15:25.480 like for. 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:27.800 What right, what do our friends say in the chat? 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:28.840 What are they stressed about? 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:31.800 And we've got a lot of great thank you guys 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:33.160 for writing in money. 0:15:33.280 --> 0:15:35.800 This is a good one. So money is definitely one 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:38.040 of the bigger ones. But there's a there's a. 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:41.480 Bun but there are like about money specifics. 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:44.240 Yes, so we've got specifics about money and so here's 0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:46.960 a specific about money saving for retirement. 0:15:47.120 --> 0:15:48.120 That's a good one. 0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:51.560 Yeah, because you think you know saving up and people 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:54.800 have different Yes, that's a great stressor this one being 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:57.280 a mom, they are my biggest blessings. 0:15:57.400 --> 0:15:59.680 Don't get me wrong, but I'm sure. 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:01.440 I mean I'm not a mom, but do you stress 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:03.200 about being a mom and if you're doing a ride 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:05.400 or not doing a ride. 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:08.480 Or I think it goes back to when ocean pushes 0:16:08.560 --> 0:16:12.880 me just a little too far and then I have 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:17.920 a tremendous amount of just like guilt on was I 0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:20.800 too tough on her today? And then my mom will 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:23.080 have to step in and say, you know, today was 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:26.200 a trying day. She wasn't giving you any wiggle room. 0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:29.720 You had to hit a certain point to get her 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:34.520 to listen. But I think no matter what, there's a 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:38.120 lot of guilt that comes with being a parent some 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:40.520 days where you're like, did I give them what they 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:43.000 needed today? Do they feel safe? Do they know that 0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:45.040 I'm always going to be here? Do they know why 0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:47.040 I had to put them in check so many times? 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:49.800 Or am I being looked at like the enemy? It's 0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:52.560 being a mom is tough, yes, very tough. 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:54.640 Can't imagine. So I hear it. 0:16:54.720 --> 0:16:57.880 The best, like she brings me all the joy in 0:16:57.920 --> 0:17:01.720 the world, But I'm constant looking at her like are 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:02.960 you going to like me forever? 0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:05.280 Oh? Why would you say that? 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:06.400 It's it? 0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:08.399 It's a mom thing, I know. 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:11.080 But like that's the thing, like how many times mom 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:12.159 had to discipline you? 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:13.720 And how many times you and mom. 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:18.280 Have battled face like you know kids and look at 0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:18.840 you and mom. 0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:21.960 I mean my dad, my dad was, I mean, he's 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:25.320 his His mom is living. My grandma now is living 0:17:25.359 --> 0:17:27.320 with my dad and mom in Arizona, trying to find 0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:27.840 her own place. 0:17:28.359 --> 0:17:32.240 She and this is like not people know he said 0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:32.679 it before. 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:36.560 I mean for years she was just gone, she was 0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:40.000 just gone, never there, leave the kids home alone. It 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:43.000 was like it was not a good upbringing. And now 0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:45.280 they're best friends. I'm not saying that's what this is, 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:47.320 but my whole point is like, there's. 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:48.240 She or her mom. 0:17:48.600 --> 0:17:48.840 No. 0:17:48.880 --> 0:17:51.240 But I was trying to check her the other day 0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:53.520 and I wanted her to go to bed, and I 0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:56.640 had to get stern with her because she would not listen. 0:17:56.720 --> 0:18:00.480 And it was like, we're pushing midnight, like we're done, Yeah, 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:03.639 Gigi is asleep. Stop asking for Gigi. You want to 0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:06.679 go into your own room. You can blow the roof 0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:09.440 off the fucking house, play with your toys all night. 0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:14.680 I don't care. And she's like, mom, be nice to me, 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:22.280 and I was like, listen. So I got down here 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:25.080 and I was like, Ocean, I've asked you so many 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:29.200 times to please go to bed, So when Mommy gets 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:32.439 that way, I am being nice, but I need you 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:35.280 to listen and you're not listening. And she goes, she goes, 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:38.200 look at me. He grabs my face and she goes, 0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:40.440 you do not need to lose your mind. 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:43.240 And I was like, you could have grabbed her and 0:18:43.320 --> 0:18:44.639 said you just need to listen. 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:48.800 But it's like I love you, but you're trying me 0:18:48.880 --> 0:18:51.240 and you made me hit a hundred with you at midnight, 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:54.320 and I regret this because I know you know what 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:57.719 a fucking saying she does, So then I have guilt. 0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:00.399 Yeah, okay, hey this. 0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:06.200 Oh do you guys worrying about my health in the future? 0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:08.840 Do you guys ever stress about constantly? 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:14.040 Because right he just keeps smacking that vape like a chance. 0:19:14.800 --> 0:19:18.440 It's so hard, though, and I'm really worried about my health. 0:19:18.520 --> 0:19:21.560 I'm so worried where's the vape? And then where's my week? 0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:24.120 I'm stressed. 0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:30.800 Even that stress will kill you. So it's like, am 0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:32.480 I gonna we've been gonna. 0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:34.280 Kill I love that you said that, though, because my 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:39.160