1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: You confession. 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,039 Speaker 2: I can't take back earl arms. 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:13,200 Speaker 3: Mouse Speaker text to seventy eighty five nine two says 4 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:16,639 Speaker 3: I'm thinking of dumping my girlfriend because she murdered my 5 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:17,600 Speaker 3: friend Dwayne. 6 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:21,280 Speaker 2: What the heck is going on? Please tell me Dwayne 7 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 2: isn't a person. 8 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 3: Dwyane was a spider who lived in the corner of 9 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 3: my bedroom window. His web was perfectly positioned to catch 10 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 3: any flies trying to come into the house. She sprayed 11 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 3: him with bug spray while I was out. I'm so sorry, Dwayne. 12 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 4: I'm with himside, yes, ri I p to Dwayne. 13 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 3: The spider gone too soon, unless somehow the bug spray 14 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 3: turned him into like a super spider and he's marbles 15 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 3: to a superheat human. 16 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 2: Dwane is such a superhero name human man. 17 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 3: But at least Dwayne's memory will live on in the 18 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 3: giant web of secrets that we have here on the 19 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 3: mass speaker, And another listener is ready to add to 20 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 3: our growing web with a confession of her own. She's 21 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,960 Speaker 3: chosen Nicole as her fake name. So Nicole, welcome to 22 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:07,399 Speaker 3: the show. 23 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,400 Speaker 5: Thank you, thank you, thank you. How are you guys? 24 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 2: God not eight limbed, which is too bad? 25 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,559 Speaker 3: Yeah, we're feeling a little little heartbroken over the news 26 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 3: about Dwayne, but maybe you can cheer us up because 27 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 3: the voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker. 28 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,200 Speaker 3: Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession, all right. 29 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 5: So one of my first jobs I was a waitress 30 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:27,839 Speaker 5: and a very popular diner. 31 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 3: Okay, I used to work at one too. 32 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, but good on you. And getting a waitress job 33 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,039 Speaker 2: is one of your first jobs. 34 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 4: Usually I have to like host for a while, clean dishes. 35 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 6: Thank you. 36 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:42,479 Speaker 5: So on my first day, they asked me to help 37 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:46,039 Speaker 5: out in the kitchen and help chop some mushrooms for 38 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 5: a soup. 39 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:50,279 Speaker 2: Oh wow, one, hopefully they give you some safety lessons. 40 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 5: Yes, you know, you thought that they would have given 41 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 5: me something, but nothing. You know, I've never chopped mushrooms before, 42 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 5: but I give it anyway. The chef comes over to 43 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 5: Jack and was like, what are you doing where stems? 44 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 3: Oh damn, you didn't drop the stems. 45 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,079 Speaker 5: I didn't know you're supposed to keep the stem part. 46 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but he. 47 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 5: Just eased the top part for the most part. 48 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 4: You know. 49 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 2: Okay, it's not crazy, but okay, So. 50 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 5: I told him that the stems were in the trash. 51 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:24,240 Speaker 2: He didn't like that. 52 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 5: Oh he slipped out. 53 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:31,000 Speaker 4: Oh that's crazy, because chefs are usually so reasonable. 54 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 3: What happened now? 55 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 5: Holmie turned around and threw his butcher knife at the wall. 56 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:45,639 Speaker 6: Whoa, that's where Dwayne was setting up his labyne man 57 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 6: can't catch a break. 58 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:49,919 Speaker 2: Like at least he didn't overreact. 59 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 3: Geezang though, if that. 60 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:56,399 Speaker 5: Wasn't bad enough, he made me pick out the stems from. 61 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,399 Speaker 2: The trash and do what with them? 62 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 5: Well, he stood there and watched me and then told 63 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,200 Speaker 5: me to drop them in the soup. 64 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 6: No, no, not even like wash them. 65 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:13,360 Speaker 5: I like, really, that doesn't seen sanitary. And he just 66 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 5: kept yelling at me, and I felt absolutely terrible. 67 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 2: But Jeff maybe yeah, yeah. It was like, why is 68 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 2: it cream of mushroom? 69 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 6: It was just supposed to be regular mushroom. 70 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is your first day of work. Oh my god, I. 71 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,359 Speaker 2: Mean, who wouldn't have done it instruction? 72 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 5: Well, that day that people really really liked the soup. 73 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 5: They were complimenting how caty it was. They were like, oh, 74 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 5: did you change the recope? 75 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 2: He didn't waste the mushrooms? 76 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 4: Then everybody was little tang to it. 77 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 5: Yeah, Oh god, I fear too many restaurants like this. 78 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 5: That's not even a half of it. Hold on, what 79 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 5: like a week or so later, I remember the chef 80 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 5: had an expired tub of Coast Law that he didn't 81 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 5: want to throw away, So that day he created a 82 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 5: sandwich special with the expired coles Law on it. 83 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,599 Speaker 3: Inspired Colaw sandwich. I know Brooke is going to be 84 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 3: cool with this. This is totally up her Ally, she 85 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,279 Speaker 3: puts mold in her burgers. 86 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,720 Speaker 4: It's like, expiration dates are really suggestions. 87 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 2: It doesn't stink and there's no mold earth. But that's 88 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 2: the day. 89 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 5: There was a weird smell to it, and he told 90 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 5: us to tell the customers it was an occasional Coast Law. 91 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,479 Speaker 3: That's what the smell is. 92 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 2: That's why specials and soup always scared me. 93 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,839 Speaker 4: A little bit, because I've always heard that it's like 94 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,280 Speaker 4: the stuff that is at the end of their life. 95 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 6: The best of the day or the day. 96 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 2: I mean, that's what I do in my own fridge. 97 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 2: You know, you're like, well, that's going to go bad. 98 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 2: Let's turn it into a and then you bring soup 99 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 2: and offers all of us work. 100 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:59,040 Speaker 3: How did the expired Coleslaw sandwich special. 101 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 2: Go I'm not kidding you. 102 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 5: And I was so disgusted, like I quit a week later. 103 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,719 Speaker 2: Usually diners when you're really drunk. 104 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 6: Maybe that's why you. 105 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,240 Speaker 3: Trash food for trash people. 106 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 2: Aloe is the bacteria, you know. 107 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, people get sick and complain the worst part about 108 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,479 Speaker 1: it it's still open and I see using bats on 109 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:31,679 Speaker 1: Yelp and stuff, and people just keep going the health. 110 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 2: Department, including you. 111 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 3: It sounds like if you're constantly leaving Yelp. 112 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,159 Speaker 2: Reviews, you don't have to go to leave the review. 113 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 5: Honestly, it's totally ruined my dining experience. Something just all 114 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 5: you know, and like especially if they have a special menu. 115 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:51,039 Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, okay, yeah, I feel like this was 116 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 4: like the most unhelpful confession. 117 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 2: Since we don't know the name of the. 118 00:05:55,680 --> 00:06:00,080 Speaker 5: Well, I can tell you guys off if you like, okay, 119 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,839 Speaker 5: we'll get the name of you when we're done with this. 120 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 3: But thank you for your confession. And this one went 121 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,919 Speaker 3: out to Dwayne today, Dwayne, the secret was for you 122 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 3: text in seventy five nine too. If you have a 123 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 3: confession you've been holding on to, we'll hide your identity, 124 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,840 Speaker 3: mask your voice, and make you our next mass speaker, 125 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 3: your phone TAP's coming up right after this