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Speaker 1: Hey, ba fan, Mandy here or Mandra you can call

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Speaker 1: me Mandra and that's fine. I have a simple request

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Speaker 1: for you, guys. We get so many questions on how

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Speaker 1: very simple thing that we need you guys to do.

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Speaker 1: Westwood One. But we also need the support of our listeners.

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Speaker 1: the show, and we thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: Hey, hey, new Time's a seller. Hey we're back. We're black,

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Speaker 2: New Times that seller, we're brown and Yan.

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Speaker 1: Hey hey anything new Tiffy Bucanista, best selling author. I'm Alicia.

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Speaker 2: You know I'm not gonna lie. So I when I

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Speaker 2: got the call, I was like, is this real life?

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Speaker 1: What happens when you become a bestseller? What is the call?

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Speaker 1: That's what I want to know.

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Speaker 3: So what happens is, first of all, shout out to

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Speaker 3: love you for ruining the surprise this chick, I'm like,

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Speaker 3: how do you know what?

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Speaker 2: From my agent? So I was reading. I told my agent.

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Speaker 2: I gave her a specific instructions.

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Speaker 3: I said call me on this number because I wanted

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Speaker 3: to take myself to get my natural reaction to see

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Speaker 3: because I wasn't you know, you never know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, here goes Lovey, she what's at me? So that

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Speaker 2: pops up right for you to call? So it ruined

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Speaker 2: my natural reactions. It just said congratulations, did you do that? Seller?

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Speaker 2: I said, started Lovey, But I was excited.

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Speaker 3: But no, honestly it's because well one you know, Lovey said,

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Speaker 3: you know she had said you made the list. I

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Speaker 3: saw her say congratulations, so I knew that's what it was.

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Speaker 3: But then hnther called me, it was like, yes, you

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Speaker 3: made the list for that. The hardest list to make

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Speaker 3: on the New York Times Bestsellers List is the how

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Speaker 3: to list because it includes so many things that sometimes

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Speaker 3: they have hardcover soft cover.

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Speaker 2: It includes both hardcover and soft cover, and it includes.

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Speaker 3: How to meaning how to cook, how to build a fire,

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Speaker 3: like all those things go on that list, so you're

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Speaker 3: really competing with so many different genres, whereas other lists

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Speaker 3: don't have that issue. And it's one of the shorter lists.

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Speaker 3: So I came in number four, which is like insane.

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Speaker 3: And then after speaking with Heather, I'm Jackson, and my

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Speaker 3: agent Marnie and my executive editor at Penguin called me.

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Speaker 3: She's like, they didn't tell you made two lists. I

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Speaker 3: was like, wait what. I also made number ten on

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Speaker 3: the Business list. So now the Business list comes out

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Speaker 3: once a month and how two list comes out once

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Speaker 3: a week, so I mean both.

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Speaker 2: And it's just like I.

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Speaker 3: Mean, when you start to really do the math of

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Speaker 3: how few books make the New York Times Bestsellers List,

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Speaker 3: you just realize that, like the possibility is way more

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Speaker 3: that it's not. Literally, only half a percentage ever make

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Speaker 3: the list. Over one hundred thousand books come out each year,

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Speaker 3: in less than five hundred get on the New York

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Speaker 3: Times bestseller list, and so I don't know, it just

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Speaker 3: feels very like I don't know if it ought to,

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Speaker 3: but it feels very validating because you know, I came

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Speaker 3: in here as a preschool teacher, and I'm sure that

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Speaker 3: some people are like, well, what do you know. I'm like, well,

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Speaker 3: I mean, according to the New York Times, I know, no,

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Speaker 3: it just feels really good. But you know what actually

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Speaker 3: feels even better? Well, I don't know if it's better,

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Speaker 3: just different, like the feedback from people. Because one thing

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Speaker 3: I'll tell you about black women. Let me tell you

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Speaker 3: about black women, they do not suffer foolishness, meaning like

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Speaker 3: if the book wasn't good, they would it would be

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Speaker 3: like they would give the nice church cut, okay, baby okay,

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Speaker 3: like if your baby's not cute, and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 3: look at that baby looking like he looking, you know,

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Speaker 3: and so to get the feedback like the overwhelming thank

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Speaker 3: you so much, this is such an easy read. Somebody

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Speaker 3: finally explained it to me easily. It's just and then

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Speaker 3: to make the Wall Street journalists, not just the Wall

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Speaker 3: Street journal I made number one on their I think

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Speaker 3: it's their business list, and then number four on another

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Speaker 3: Wall Street journalist the USA Today list thirty one, but

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Speaker 3: it's thirty one out of all books being sold, which

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Speaker 3: is crazy. Amazon's seventeen out of all books being sold.

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Speaker 3: Apple four, the indie booksel so meaning like book that

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Speaker 3: like ourselves sold out of, like you know, like your

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Speaker 3: local bookstore made that list, like every list that is

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Speaker 3: there to be made, I feel like we made it.

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Speaker 3: We made over ten different lists. I just have to say,

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Speaker 3: my team is what I said was and this is

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Speaker 3: what Tracy, my public is in. As she said, you know,

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Speaker 3: if we really look at the work that we put in,

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Speaker 3: we are deserving of this. But so it's so infrequent

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Speaker 3: that black women get what they're deserving of that were

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Speaker 3: just so shocked because we put in ten and got

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Speaker 3: out ten. Normally, you know, as a black woman, you know, man,

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Speaker 3: you put in ten, you get out seven. You're like, ah,

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Speaker 3: you know, that's just how it goes. You make less,

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Speaker 3: you know, you know, you're not promoted as quickly. It's

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Speaker 3: just becomes part of life that you put in ten,

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Speaker 3: you get out seven if you're lucky. So to put

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Speaker 3: in ten and get out ten, it's like you feel

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Speaker 3: like you hit the lottery, and it's like it feels

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Speaker 3: like a little bit of justice was done because the

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Speaker 3: team put in ten. Like this is not like luck

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Speaker 3: or happenstance. No, the level of work that they put

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Speaker 3: in this is exactly what which should have come out

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Speaker 3: but so often does not. So I'm just really overwhelmed,

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Speaker 3: like with like it doesn't feel real. Like I had

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Speaker 3: to literally take a walk.

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Speaker 2: It was just too much.

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Speaker 3: Like afterwards, I was like I told Superman, He's like,

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Speaker 3: are you okay? I just need to take a walk

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Speaker 3: just to decompress because it just felt like so many

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Speaker 3: of my writer friends are like, girl, I've been I've

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Speaker 3: been writing for twenty years, and you know it's my

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Speaker 3: dream to make the list and for my first like

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Speaker 3: traditionally published book, not to.

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Speaker 2: Just make the list, but to just do so like

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Speaker 2: with a splash is just girl, I'm.

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Speaker 1: So oh my god, I feel like, well, let me

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Speaker 1: tell you how I feel about it. I love tell

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Speaker 1: me that's you know, you know, I feel like I've

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Speaker 1: had a like a I don't know, a backseat. I've

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Speaker 1: been in the car behind the car that the budget

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Speaker 1: needs to like train has been pulling for so much

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Speaker 1: for so long, and for me it just feels like

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Speaker 1: of course, I mean, it just feels I've seen the work.

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Speaker 1: It's not a surprise to me at all. And it's

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Speaker 1: certainly it doesn't feel to me like it was always

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Speaker 1: going to happen, or it it it was a foregone

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Speaker 1: conclusion that was going to happen, Like you put in

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Speaker 1: the work, and I know your team did too. I mean,

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Speaker 1: y'all were talking about promoting this book. You built a

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Speaker 1: whole damn website for the book. You know, you don't

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Speaker 1: do anything halfway. You never have and everything that you

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Speaker 1: and I'm so glad that you waited to do a

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Speaker 1: traditionally published book until this moment because you focused first

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Speaker 1: on giving people value and building your audience and building

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Speaker 1: trust with them, and you did that. It's like you

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Speaker 1: focus on what mattered first, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: like building the trust, creating value, educating people. Truly, you

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Speaker 1: know what you got into this whole what can we

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Speaker 1: call it a business or this whole field to do

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Speaker 1: and when you were ready, you know, you put out

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Speaker 1: this book and you were ready for the moment. But

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Speaker 1: you you've definitely reap what you sewed all all these years.

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Speaker 1: You know, you planted all those little baby acorn seeds

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Speaker 1: and now it's like a tree or whatever. And on

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Speaker 1: that tree is not just this is like the first

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Speaker 1: you know, it's just a seedling. I feel like, you know,

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Speaker 1: the tree just going to keep on growing from the

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Speaker 1: past decade of work that you put in and the

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Speaker 1: work of your team as well. And I hope y'all

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Speaker 1: are celebrating. I don't know what the party plans are, but.

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Speaker 3: Girl, I've been like, uh, okay, who wants a week

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Speaker 3: can the week off? So one of the things I

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Speaker 3: learned is from now like one of our kind of

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Speaker 3: like SOP standard operating procedures for those of y'all not

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Speaker 3: in business then that we're going to integrate is that

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Speaker 3: after a big launch, part of the launch is the

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Speaker 3: week or two or two weeks after that we take

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Speaker 3: off because it's so much you know what I mean,

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Speaker 3: and like we're still doing things. So even though it's

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Speaker 3: not as crazy, we haven't gotten a time to decompress.

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Speaker 2: A word I've learned from that, like, we're not doing

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Speaker 2: this next time.

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Speaker 3: The next time it's gonna be like, yay week off,

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Speaker 3: two weeks off, just to give people a chance to

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Speaker 3: like recoup and regroup.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.

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Speaker 3: The team has been like literally when the numbers were

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Speaker 3: coming out, and can I guess I'll give you guys,

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Speaker 3: because what it takes to be on the best seller's list,

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Speaker 3: so this is I mean New York Times doesn't give

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Speaker 3: you much, and so this is what people have hypothesized,

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Speaker 3: and it's fairly true. But then at the end of

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Speaker 3: the day, they just decide. So typically you're looking at

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Speaker 3: around ten thousand books. You know, if you sell around

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Speaker 3: ten thousand books, you know you're on their radar. But

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Speaker 3: people have made the list selling four thousand books, you know,

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Speaker 3: if it's like something they really enjoy, you know, but

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Speaker 3: you just know that at ten thousand you're fairly safe

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Speaker 3: to at least be considered.

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Speaker 2: So that's one.

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Speaker 3: Although they're like, there's a smoothie Lady JJ Smith. I

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Speaker 3: think she's got a smoothie book. She sold over a million,

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Speaker 3: so I can only imagine what she sold, but she

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Speaker 3: never she did hurt. That book did not make the list,

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Speaker 3: so it's not just book sales, but it's just to

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Speaker 3: be just to be looked at. Ten thousand books within

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Speaker 3: the first week, and so within the first week includes

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Speaker 3: pre orders. So any book bought, you know, before your

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Speaker 3: book launch and during the first week of book sales

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Speaker 3: will be considered week one sales. That's why it is,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to say easier, but it is you

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Speaker 3: have a better chance of making it the first week

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Speaker 3: because you can accumulate, you know, like some people will

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Speaker 3: start doing pre sales a year before. I started doing

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Speaker 3: pre sales two months before, so that's one. And so

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Speaker 3: we sold like well over twenty thousand books between twenty

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Speaker 3: to twenty five thousands. Some numbers are because we also

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Speaker 3: did book order, so depending on when the order went through,

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Speaker 3: it could be up to twenty six thousand book a

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Speaker 3: good amount of books. And I didn't know if that

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Speaker 3: was a lot or little. I'd asked my Heather, you

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Speaker 3: know what is good, what is great? What is unicorn?

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Speaker 3: And if you know me, unicorn means excellent. And so

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Speaker 3: she had told me that good was five, great was

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Speaker 3: ten thousand, and unicorn was twenty thousand. I said, okay,

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Speaker 3: bet so my mind Mandy I said, were going for Unicorn.

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Speaker 3: So then I was talking to Brian, who is our

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Speaker 3: assistant marketing director from Penguin. So we had weekly meetings

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Speaker 3: for the for the gig Gos Money crew, like we

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Speaker 3: would meet every Monday at one thirty, and so I

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Speaker 3: told Brian.

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Speaker 2: I was like, oo oho, we did it. We did it.

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Speaker 2: We made Unicorn. And she's like, what do you mean?

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Speaker 2: I said, well, I asked Heather, when we first started,

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Speaker 2: what's good five thousand, what's Grete ten, what's Unicorn twenty thousand?

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Speaker 2: We did it.

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Speaker 3: She was like, girl, Heather tricked you. I was like, wait,

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Speaker 3: what do you mean. She's like, girl, Unicorn is ten thousand.

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Speaker 3: I was like, wait what she said, yes, girl, She's like,

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Speaker 3: people don't sell ten thousand first week. I said, I

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Speaker 3: called Heather right away. Heather started laughing. She said, but

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Speaker 3: you did it right. She's like, I picked up your

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Speaker 3: personality fairly quickly, tippy. She was like, she said, I

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Speaker 3: realized if I pushed you that she would do it,

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Speaker 3: and so I'm grateful for that. So that was one

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Speaker 3: sell your ten thousand two Amazon not Amazon. New York

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Speaker 3: Times likes to see that you have sold books from

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Speaker 3: multiple retailers because they want to. They don't if you

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Speaker 3: sold one hundred thousand books but just on Amazon. They're like, no, no, no, no.

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Speaker 3: They like to see that, you know, like you have

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Speaker 3: some Amazon, some Barns and Noble, some Target, so like

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Speaker 3: a mix. So we made it our big business to

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Speaker 3: like market to say, like we had this one marketing

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Speaker 3: like drop a We're like, use.

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Speaker 2: Your old you know, do you still have that old

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Speaker 2: Target card?

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Speaker 1: Girl?

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Speaker 2: Use it to get go with money.

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Speaker 3: You ain't gonna use it anyway, So we sold out

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Speaker 3: a Target after after dropping those social media posts, Target

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Speaker 3: had to re up.

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Speaker 2: So that's one.

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Speaker 3: That's two three. They also like to see that you

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Speaker 3: have some indie book sales, meaning like so one of

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Speaker 3: the things I did was I really partnered with some

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Speaker 3: black owned book bookstores and also some small bookstores where

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Speaker 3: I signed copies there and I gave them Budgetista bracelets

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Speaker 3: to encourage people to support smaller book bookstores. And so

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Speaker 3: they like to see that. So I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: let me make sure that we encourage dream catchers that like, yes,

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Speaker 3: although the smaller bookstore they might not be able to

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Speaker 3: give you the huge discount the Amazon gives you, but

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Speaker 3: the books there are signed, and I gave them my

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Speaker 3: budget needs to bracelets, so you'll get that bracelet there

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Speaker 3: and there.

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Speaker 2: Cool, and that was like a fun way.

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Speaker 3: Plus it was just really great to be able to support,

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Speaker 3: you know, these more indie, smaller bookstores, cause that's how

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Speaker 3: they survive. A Fourth thing that they look at is

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Speaker 3: they like to see that there is like national media attention,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 2: So I was fortunate, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, exactly exactly start to good morn in America twice

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Speaker 3: when the book job, and then today so the next

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Speaker 3: day and then just today I tape the real that's

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Speaker 3: about the book as well, so they like.

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Speaker 2: To see that.

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Speaker 3: And then fifth, they like, this is kind of new,

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Speaker 3: like some social media buzz. So what they're looking for,

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Speaker 3: what it seems like is there's some cultural relevance, like

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Speaker 3: do people actually care, you know, like is this a

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Speaker 3: book that people are wanting and needing? And so that's

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Speaker 3: that was just like so that's what that's what people

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Speaker 3: kind of know. But other than that, you know, and

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Speaker 3: that might even not be fully true. But this is

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Speaker 3: like kind of like if you were to do your Googles,

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Speaker 3: ask your publisher, they would.

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Speaker 2: Say, like if you do those things.

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Speaker 3: That's all you can do, you know, Like that's you

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Speaker 3: could just we just did all of those things and

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Speaker 3: just said at the end of the day, though they

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Speaker 3: can just say not you but her, or not not

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Speaker 3: her but you, And just because someone is above me

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Speaker 3: on the list doesn't mean they sold more than me.

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Speaker 3: Like you can literally look up what people sold through

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Speaker 3: this thing called book scan, like I can't. I mean,

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Speaker 3: if you want to pay for a book scan, you can,

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Speaker 3: but then you might see that like, oh, I actually

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Speaker 3: sold more than the person who's number one, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean.

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Speaker 2: Like, so there's no rhyme or reason.

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Speaker 1: So that's why I think they should like not call

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Speaker 1: it the best sellers list. I don't know, it seems

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Speaker 1: a little yes, I don't think advertising, so.

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Speaker 2: It feels strange.

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Speaker 3: So I will say this that, like from what I understand,

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Speaker 3: the USA Today, I don't know how Wall Street Journal

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Speaker 3: calculates BO USA Today is truly like, girl, how many

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Speaker 3: did you sell?

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Speaker 2: Like that? That list? For sure? So the New York

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Speaker 2: Times bestsellers lists.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's that's why people are like it is there's

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Speaker 3: no they don't they don't give you the algorithm. But

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Speaker 3: this is what kind of what people have deduce. That's

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Speaker 3: why I was like, people are, you're definitely gonna make it.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, it doesn't work like that. I could have

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Speaker 3: sold one hundred thousand books and maybe not made it,

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Speaker 3: you know, So that's why it just makes it like

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Speaker 3: because it's just a nod. The reason why for me

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Speaker 3: the New York Times Bestsellers List important is because I

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Speaker 3: don't have to explain what that means in this space

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Speaker 3: where I'm already devalued because one I'm a woman and

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Speaker 3: two I'm a black woman.

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Speaker 2: It's like, okay, it gives me that stamp.

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Speaker 3: I remember what happened with that you know that conference

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Speaker 3: that we don't know, we no longer name yep, and

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Speaker 3: how you know the founder of that conference, Voldemort said,

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Speaker 3: you know, like I wasn't worth more than twenty five

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Speaker 3: hundred dollars and how that whole like anybody who wasn't

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Speaker 3: brown or other in that community where it's like who she?

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Speaker 2: She doesn't deserve? How dear she ask? Like that was

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Speaker 2: the sentiment.

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Speaker 3: And now I'm like, so with this, it's like, don't

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Speaker 3: don't fix your lips to say that like even though

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Speaker 3: I wasn't deserving of that then especially now this translate

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Speaker 3: now you know who I am?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know.

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Speaker 3: And so it's just a shame that you have to

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Speaker 3: like have these like stamps of approval to be taken seriously.

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Speaker 3: And it's quite honestly one of the reasons why I

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Speaker 3: just speak directly to like, you know, our RBA's you know,

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Speaker 3: because it's hard out there, no streets.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, so it's just like like I said, it

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Speaker 2: feels good.

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Speaker 3: And although I am tired of people saying what's next,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, Sis, rest is next.

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Speaker 2: I'm taking six weeks off, leave me alone.

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Speaker 1: What I want to know? Where's the party?

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Speaker 2: How?

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Speaker 1: Well? Yeah, what what does your rest look like? We

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Speaker 1: talked with like last week with Earn Your Leisure guys, which,

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Speaker 1: by the way, epic show. Go listen, ey l. First

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Speaker 1: of all, all my guy friends and Enrique's my husband's

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Speaker 1: family and friends, like I have so much clout now

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Speaker 1: they actually pay attention. They're like, so you had Earn

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Speaker 1: your Leisure. Okay, so your podcast is like a thing,

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Speaker 1: but yeah we got we got yes, anyway, go check

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Speaker 1: it out. But on that show, we talked about what's

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Speaker 1: leisure and so what does rest look like for you?

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Speaker 1: What's restaurative you rest restorative to you? And how are

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Speaker 1: you going to recharge? Because you have given so so

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Speaker 1: much in a year, believe, in a year like this,

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Speaker 1: you get like, wait, we didn't even put in that context.

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Speaker 1: You had a bestseller in a pandemonium.

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Speaker 2: Like TIV you knew that.

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Speaker 1: I know you did that in a year when no

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Speaker 1: one would have blamed you for putting your head under

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Speaker 1: the pillow and just saying I cannot you Wow, I'm

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Speaker 1: getting tearyoyte. Anyway, I'll answer my question.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, I would really love to go out so one

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Speaker 3: I'm actually going to pick back up with IVF because

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Speaker 3: I put it to the side. I was like I

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Speaker 3: cannot do this and I have to say it's just

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Speaker 3: not possible. I didn't want, you know, I didn't want

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Speaker 3: to be like all hormonal and like I was already

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Speaker 3: like you know, there's already a level of stress with

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Speaker 3: like doing like the launch and stuff.

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Speaker 2: So I'll pick it back up with IVF.

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Speaker 3: I would really like it depends on like where I

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Speaker 3: am with my cycle that I want to go away somewhere.

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Speaker 3: So it's either I'm going to go away somewhere driveable

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Speaker 3: or depending on where I am with my cycle. If

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Speaker 3: I'm able to like go fly somewhere, then I will.

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Speaker 3: I would love to do like I want to do

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Speaker 3: a solo trip. I haven't decided where, but then I

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Speaker 3: also want to do like a trip with hupstar with Superman,

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Speaker 3: and then even like a like a weekend thing, like

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Speaker 3: if it's like a like for example, my friend Rihanna

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Speaker 3: and I we went to Rhode Island. Remember that time

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Speaker 3: we went to Rhode Island into all the beautiful mansions,

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Speaker 3: like even something like that, like a girl something like that.

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Speaker 3: So I want to do like three different things, one

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Speaker 3: for myself, one for me and hubby, and like something

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Speaker 3: even like a weekend thing for me and my girls.

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Speaker 3: So just to that's like in part because I needed

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Speaker 3: to like see other places.

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Speaker 2: I need to get out.

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Speaker 3: I would love to see some blue water if I'm

404
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Speaker 3: able and I'm allowed based upon where I am in

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Speaker 3: my cycle, and if not, even if not, I'm still

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Speaker 3: going to like go somewhere and like I don't care

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Speaker 3: if it's an Airbnb and I'm like and it's like

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Speaker 3: twenty minutes away, I'm like, everybody leave me alone.

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna eat food. And land his bed.

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Speaker 1: I need like one of those silent retreats.

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Speaker 2: Yes, oh, just like a wusaw. And also too, I

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Speaker 2: want to reset like I feel like we did it.

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Speaker 3: Joe like, Okay, Tiffany, you have been working really hard

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Speaker 3: for ten years. And I mean, I will say this

415
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:51,760
Speaker 3: that I used to travel a lot. It was really

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00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,359
Speaker 3: the last two and a half three years because of IVF,

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Speaker 3: I just have not been able to.

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Speaker 2: But I want.

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Speaker 3: I was just talking to my sah oh Karen about

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Speaker 3: I'm like, girl, I don't want to do more than

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Speaker 3: two meetings a week, one big meeting for the Literature Academy,

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Speaker 3: one big meeting for the Budgetista.

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Speaker 2: That's it.

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Speaker 3: The rest y'all got. She's like, we got it. So

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Speaker 3: I'm really paring down of what I look like hands

426
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,480
Speaker 3: on because honestly is my team has proven to be amazing.

427
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:22,160
Speaker 3: So and I told Tracy of tra CYLJPR on Insta.

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Speaker 3: I was like, sis, honestly because she was like today,

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Speaker 3: She's like, so what about? I was like nope that

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Speaker 3: I told her. I'm gonna give her like three spots

431
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Speaker 3: maybe a week to be like, figure out which press

432
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Speaker 3: you think is most important, but don't pitch me for anything,

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Speaker 3: only things that come in you decide, but slate it

434
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 3: for only three spots because I want to I want

435
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:47,639
Speaker 3: to navigate differently, like I already take before the launch.

436
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,480
Speaker 3: I was already taking Wednesdays and Fridays off. Well, Wednesdays

437
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,199
Speaker 3: I was taking off of meetings and phone calls, and

438
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,359
Speaker 3: then Fridays I was just taking off. So I'm gonna

439
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,640
Speaker 3: we're going back to that by the end of this month.

440
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 3: I'll be back to my Wednesdays with no meetings, no

441
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,200
Speaker 3: phone calls, and Friday's off off because I really don't

442
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,040
Speaker 3: work on the weekends unless it was like this launch.

443
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:07,199
Speaker 2: So yeah, I want to go back to I don't know.

444
00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 3: Like like I was talking to doctor Green and my

445
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,520
Speaker 3: my coach, last therapist. She said, don't come me a therapist.

446
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,159
Speaker 3: She's not a therapist, but she is a therapist. She

447
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,440
Speaker 3: was like, I want you to reset for the woman

448
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,879
Speaker 3: that you are now because you still operate mentally.

449
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:22,520
Speaker 2: And it's true.

450
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,080
Speaker 3: I still think of myself like, you know, I used

451
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,919
Speaker 3: to be a preschool teacher. It's like, yeah, girl, that

452
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 3: was like ten years ago. You're Tiffany the budget Nesta

453
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 3: now business owner, wife, stepmother, daughter, aren't like, I want

454
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,280
Speaker 3: you to be this Tiffany now and stand in that moment.

455
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,200
Speaker 2: So I want to reset, to get to who.

456
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 3: I am now, but I want to I want to

457
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 3: do less but be more, you know, hmm.

458
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,800
Speaker 2: So I'm looking forward to that.

459
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 1: That sounds wonderful. Well, you deserve it, and I'm so

460
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 1: so happy for you, and you did it. I mean,

461
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 1: I feel like you did it for all of us

462
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 1: in a way. And I also I got that I

463
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,680
Speaker 1: had that phrase in my head from that the IG

464
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,159
Speaker 1: account unique Jones is that who owns it?

465
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:01,480
Speaker 2: Yes?

466
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 1: Because of them? We can't can't because of you, Tiffany.

467
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 1: I just feel like there is so much you gave publishers,

468
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,560
Speaker 1: I mean and truly because in twenty twenty one, even now,

469
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,680
Speaker 1: it is very very hard as a woman of color

470
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 1: to be taken seriously in the traditional publishing industry. And

471
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,960
Speaker 1: it's almost like your success because of you, so many

472
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,719
Speaker 1: other women may get an opportunity that they may not

473
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 1: have gotten before. And it feels like, in twenty twenty one,

474
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 1: how can there still be trailblazers? You know, we should

475
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,879
Speaker 1: have all this figured out, but it's there. You are

476
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 1: a trailblazer and so on behalf of just any woman

477
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,600
Speaker 1: who ever wants to be a published author and have

478
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 1: someone take a chance on her. Thank you and you

479
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: did it. I'm so yeah.

480
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 2: I always feel like we did it.

481
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 3: One of the things I'm like most proud of off

482
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,639
Speaker 3: is that I can tell Penguin, like those women on

483
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 3: the Penguin team like they're going to see black women differently,

484
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 3: because you know, my whole team is like sisters and

485
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 3: just like and when they would join the call and

486
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:00,880
Speaker 3: like literally they were like, you guys are well oiled.

487
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,680
Speaker 3: And she because it was like ten of us and

488
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 3: they said normally when they see someone with a big team,

489
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 3: they rolled her. I was like, oh boy, it's about

490
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 3: to be roadblock city. But she was like we literally

491
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 3: used to talk around the office about what a joy

492
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,520
Speaker 3: it was to work with you guys, that we're just

493
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,359
Speaker 3: here to support you. You tell us what you're doing,

494
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,719
Speaker 3: and we're like, okay, sure, here you go. And so

495
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,560
Speaker 3: I love that, you know, because I think it's important,

496
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 3: like to break down those stereotypes. I'm like, you know,

497
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 3: so if there's that system in the office that you

498
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,320
Speaker 3: think has an attitude, she doesn't have an attitude.

499
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 2: She's doing her work. She's a bad ass.

500
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 3: Give her a chance, you know, And so I just

501
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,640
Speaker 3: thought that that was really dope too, that they got

502
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,960
Speaker 3: to see, like, look look at the power of these

503
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,400
Speaker 3: amazing black and brown women and what they've been able

504
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,119
Speaker 3: to do. I mean, honestly, Pengin was like, you know,

505
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:46,920
Speaker 3: we could do a case study. I'm like, Sis, we're tired, tired, Yeah,

506
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 3: go study your own case.

507
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 2: We're tired. But yeah, so no, but thank you squad.

508
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 2: I no, why are you the youth squad?

509
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:59,440
Speaker 3: They're like, Okay, I'm like, I'm like, I promise you guys,

510
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:00,440
Speaker 3: We're gonna rotated.

511
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 2: I'm like, who needs a week, who's first, who's most

512
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 2: burnt out?

513
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,680
Speaker 3: But yeah, honestly, I don't even like that, like that's

514
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,480
Speaker 3: something like as a leader that I was like, okay,

515
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,320
Speaker 3: that is a that's something that I'm going to do better,

516
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 3: you know, because I was just like I don't like

517
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 3: the fact that afterwards, I just felt like we were

518
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 3: also drained. I'm like, I'm going to do a better

519
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 3: job of like what does it look like we're doing

520
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,199
Speaker 3: a sop for this to learn? What things do we

521
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,200
Speaker 3: not have to do? That actually didn't move the needle

522
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,199
Speaker 3: and what things did really move the needle? So that

523
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 3: way next time we can work less but work more meaningfully.

524
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 1: You know, of course, well you had never done it before,

525
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,359
Speaker 1: so that as long as in the time to reflect

526
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 1: and to pick apart, when you guys are in a

527
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,639
Speaker 1: better place, when you can look back on it with

528
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,959
Speaker 1: clear heads and clear minds and clear eyes and all that,

529
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 1: that's the exciting part I feel like, is how did

530
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 1: this thing happen? But yeah, congratulations, I guess that's that's

531
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 1: our whole buzzworthy. Who cares? What else is going on? Congrattive?

532
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 1: Get good with money dot com? That's what's next. Go

533
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 1: buy a book, buy a book for a brand. All right,

534
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:01,399
Speaker 1: when you take a quick break and be back with

535
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 1: you questions. Okba fan, we are back in answering your questions. Reminder,

536
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 1: you can now leave us a voicemail or text your question.

537
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 1: Just hit us up at eight four four eight five

538
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,720
Speaker 1: eight eight zero eight zero eight for four eight five

539
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 1: eight eight zero eight zero. Try to keep it brief though.

540
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 1: I know lots of you guys have been trying to

541
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 1: send us questions and getting caught off by our voicemail,

542
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:00,080
Speaker 1: So try to keep it under at least a minute,

543
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,480
Speaker 1: and if you get cut off or you have a

544
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 1: more in depth question, you can still reach us the

545
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 1: old fashioned ways on Insta, hit us up via DM

546
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 1: or by email. Brand Ambition podcast at gmail dot com.

547
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 1: All right, let's get into it. So we have a

548
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,360
Speaker 1: couple of very good questions from IG today. This one

549
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 1: comes from listener Alia. Alia says, I'm a new listener

550
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,440
Speaker 1: to the podcast, and I'm learning a lot. I got

551
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 1: myself into about ten thousand dollars of credit card debt

552
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,359
Speaker 1: after moving to a new state and getting married. I

553
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 1: make forty eight thousand dollars a year, and due to

554
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 1: accidentally contributing a lot to my four oh one K

555
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 1: for the first three years in the business, I actually

556
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,399
Speaker 1: have about seventeen thousand dollars in my four to one

557
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 1: K retirement account. Here's the thing, Digging myself out of

558
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,399
Speaker 1: this debt is like shooting a water gun at a

559
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,400
Speaker 1: forest fire. I'm budgeting the best I can, but I'm

560
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,159
Speaker 1: pretty much supporting myself and my husband while he's in

561
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: medical school. I really want to withdraw ten thousand dollars

562
00:25:57,880 --> 00:25:59,919
Speaker 1: from my four to one K to wipe out the

563
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 1: debt and start fresh next year when my husband graduates,

564
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:05,880
Speaker 1: will have two incomes and want to start our family.

565
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 1: And in three to four years he'll be making about

566
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 1: six figures on his own. So I trust I'll be

567
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 1: financially set in a few years. And I really want

568
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 1: to get rid of this debt. Now, what do you

569
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:22,879
Speaker 1: guys think? So ten thousand dollars is weighing on her,

570
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:27,879
Speaker 1: which you know, credit card debt. Ten thousand dollars today

571
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,640
Speaker 1: can be a lot more dollars a year from now,

572
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:35,920
Speaker 1: even with the high interest rates. So but I love

573
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:39,439
Speaker 1: how she said, though accidentally identally contributed a lot to

574
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: my former day.

575
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 3: She's like, you know, just so we can sway your

576
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 3: thinks because my knees. Your reaction is like says, leave

577
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 3: it alone. But I can understand because here's my concern too,

578
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 3: because yes, although your husband when he graduates, will be

579
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,439
Speaker 3: making more money, you will also have more debts, a

580
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,439
Speaker 3: lot more debt. Because my assumption is, you know, he

581
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 3: got loans to go to medical school, and if he didn't,

582
00:26:59,080 --> 00:26:59,680
Speaker 3: that's awesome.

583
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:00,400
Speaker 1: Yep.

584
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 3: Because here's the thing, it's not just the ten thousand.

585
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,640
Speaker 3: Because people like to look at the money they put

586
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 3: up for retirement as like this flat money.

587
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 2: It's not. It's the compounding interest.

588
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 3: So you have to think that your ten thousand that

589
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 3: you have in there earned interest, and then the next

590
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,359
Speaker 3: year the interest and the ten thousand earns interest, and

591
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 3: the next year the interest and the interest and the

592
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 3: ten interest, and the next year and the interest, and

593
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,160
Speaker 3: so you miss out Once you take that money out,

594
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 3: you miss out on that interest, on the interest, on

595
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,680
Speaker 3: the interest. Even if you put it back, you can

596
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,679
Speaker 3: never get back the money you would have earned on

597
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 3: past interest. It's gone forever and ever and ever. That's

598
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 3: why people tell you leave your your retirement money alone.

599
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 3: And here's the thing too. I hate to make plans.

600
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 3: I guess me, and you know you know how we are,

601
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 3: me and Mandy right that we are like worry words.

602
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,439
Speaker 3: I don't want to make plans on well, in the future,

603
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:59,400
Speaker 3: it'll be great, uh pandemic corona corona coro, as Nigerians

604
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,240
Speaker 3: will say, like so many people had plans about, oh

605
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 3: this is what I'm gonna do and then and took everything.

606
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 3: So I don't want you to make plans on for sure,

607
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 3: for sure, my husband is going to although it's highly

608
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 3: highly likely but as unlikely as as I was gonna say,

609
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 3: panteing as as unlikely as quarantine was. Here we are, so, ugh,

610
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,159
Speaker 3: I is there.

611
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 2: A way maybe?

612
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know what her credit score looks like,

613
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 3: maybe rolling it over to a what are those things?

614
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 3: A balanced transfer card? Yeah, you know, we're let's talk

615
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 3: about alternatives. Yeah, yes, alternatives. So this is a very

616
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 3: common thing. You know, I have some debt, but I

617
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 3: have this nest egg.

618
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 2: You know.

619
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 1: Oh oops, I have seventeen thousand dollars. I can just

620
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 1: pull out of that. But let's actually talk about like

621
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 1: the list of options. So one, yes, your four one

622
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 1: K is an option, good or bad. That's left to

623
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 1: others to decide, but it's an option. And then yeah,

624
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 1: balance transfer card, so talk about that, Tiffany, So a.

625
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 2: Balance transfer card.

626
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 3: This is what I did, honestly when I lost everything.

627
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 3: So if you don't know, since you're a new listener,

628
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 3: like in two thousand and eight nine ten, big great

629
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 3: recession came, I lost everything. It was like three hundred

630
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 3: thousand dollars in debt. Thirty five thousand of that was

631
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 3: credit card debt. Although I was living off unemployment and

632
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 3: on my sister's couch. So one of the ways I

633
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 3: was able to tackle that thirty five thousand dollars in

634
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 3: debt was I because my credit card was decent. I

635
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 3: opened up a balanced transfer card, a couple of them, honestly,

636
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 3: where I took the balance on one card, the card

637
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 3: that had interest, and rolled it over to a balanced

638
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 3: transfer card. Because my credit card was decent, I was

639
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 3: able to get a balance treansfer card. It was like

640
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 3: eighteen months interest free, so I had eighteen months to

641
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 3: pay down this card with like so all my money

642
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 3: would go directly to the principle, directly to the ten thousand,

643
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 3: not ten thousand plus interests. So that helped me pay

644
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 3: down that thirty five thousand. It took me like two

645
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 3: and a half three years in order to do so.

646
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 3: Now it was a strugg but you know it did.

647
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 3: And now here's the thing. The reason why you know,

648
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 3: what's her name again?

649
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 1: Alia?

650
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 2: Alia? Pretty name. So the reason why I'm like eugh

651
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 2: girl is because I'm not here to judge you. Consists.

652
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 3: I took all the money out of my retirement account

653
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 3: to try to pay off bills and I didn't get back.

654
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 3: So I was thirty twenty nine thirty when I did that.

655
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 3: I didn't get back to putting a side for retirement

656
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 3: until like four years ago. That sometimes life throws you

657
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 3: off track and you might think I'll definitely get back,

658
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 3: and so I'm like behind the eight ball. So now

659
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 3: I'm trying to catch up. So I'm not saying I

660
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 3: from a place to judgement. I'm saying from a place

661
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 3: so I'm here now. I'm forty one years old. I've

662
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 3: only been saving for retirement for like four years because

663
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 3: of a choice that I made over ten years ago.

664
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 3: So I just it just makes me a little bit nervous.

665
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 3: But there's you know, you have to do what's best

666
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 3: for you. But I would consider alternatives before touching my

667
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 3: retirement money.

668
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, So a balance transfer credit card is definitely

669
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,719
Speaker 1: a good option if you have good credit, so like

670
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:01,240
Speaker 1: six eighty and above, and you can honestly google to

671
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 1: see if there's any good balance transfer options available to you. Also,

672
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 1: you know, applying for a small loan like a personal

673
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 1: loan through a credit union or an online bank at

674
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 1: a fixed interest rate. So that gets at the really

675
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 1: the terrible thing about credit card debt is it has

676
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,479
Speaker 1: not only really high interest rates, but it also has

677
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 1: revolving interest rates or variable interest rates rather, which means

678
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 1: that they can change whenever they want to change the rates,

679
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 1: they can go up, and they usually do go up.

680
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 1: It's never really in your favor. So with a personal loan,

681
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 1: you know you could take it a loan, you know

682
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,000
Speaker 1: exactly what your rate's going to be, and it's fixed,

683
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 1: it's not going to go up, and you know you

684
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 1: get your You can choose how long you have to

685
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 1: pay off the loan. It can be a couple of years,

686
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 1: a few years, and you know what exactly you're getting. Yes,

687
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 1: you're paying interest, but at least it is a known

688
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 1: entity in a quantity. To your point about to what

689
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 1: she says about shooting a water gun at a forest fire,

690
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 1: I mean, ten thousand dollars is a lot, okay, and

691
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,960
Speaker 1: it's credit card debt, so it is, Yes, that is

692
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 1: a lot of credit card debt, but is it a

693
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 1: forest fire?

694
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 2: Like?

695
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 1: I don't know if I would be. It doesn't. It's doable.

696
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: You seem very financially conscious. I mean, you married a

697
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 1: boo who's going to be a doctor, so that was great,

698
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: and you seem like you've got a great career going on.

699
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 1: So I feel like you can tackle this, you really

700
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 1: can without necessarily needing to dip into your four to

701
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 1: one K. And we should also talk about, you know

702
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 1: what Tiffany said about missing out on the compounding interest.

703
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 1: You also may face tax penalties when you withdraw from

704
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,320
Speaker 1: your four to one K if you're under a certain

705
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 1: age limit. I think it's like fifty nine and a half,

706
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: So there could be an additional loss there, not just

707
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 1: from you know, stock market gains that you're missing out

708
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 1: on by taking that ten k out, but also just

709
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 1: tax penalties for early withdrawals. And it differs a little

710
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 1: bit depending on how you take the money out. So

711
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 1: we can post a link to an article about the

712
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 1: difference between a four h one k loan, which is

713
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 1: when you borrow from yourself and then you pay yourself back.

714
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 1: I've actually done that before and I'm a fan. The

715
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: risk there is if you were to leave your job,

716
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 1: you would immediately owe that money back. So there's risks

717
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 1: and there's pros to to all these different things. But

718
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 1: ten ten k, I feel like that's a small enough

719
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,479
Speaker 1: amount to wear a couple of balance trendsfer credit cards

720
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 1: or personal loan. You know, you can tackle that, and

721
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 1: you can still be letting that seventeen K little nest

722
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 1: egg that you've grown accidentally, which is great. You know,

723
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 1: I wish be more people accidentally say for retirement, Yeah,

724
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 1: you've just let that continue to grow. And honestly, trying

725
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 1: to predict the future in terms of where you think

726
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 1: you're going to be financially, I don't know, man. I

727
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 1: just say I think your sense of urgency to get

728
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: rid of it now while you have where, while you're

729
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 1: able to work and you've got an income, and you've

730
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 1: got options, I would say, you know, do it now,

731
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 1: but maybe not with the same like with me, but

732
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 1: maybe not going to that like nuclear option of taking

733
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 1: money out of your form on and K first. Yeah,

734
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 1: and tips right that your husband's going to ask some

735
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: student loan, so y, yeah, he'll have enough going on

736
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 1: even if he does earn six figures. All right, Well,

737
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,319
Speaker 1: I'm going to post a link definitely in the show

738
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:12,839
Speaker 1: notes about the difference between four to one K loan

739
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 1: and withdrawal, because I think they get very often confused.

740
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 1: And some of the other options, you know, other than

741
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: going into your four one K, like we talked about

742
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 1: balance transfer cards, personal loans, you have other ways to

743
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: pay on the debt. But thanks for your question.

744
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, question, all right.

745
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 1: Second question, This one's going to be near and dear

746
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,360
Speaker 1: to Tiffany's heart, probably as it comes from a teacher.

747
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:42,000
Speaker 1: All right, So this listener wants to remain anonymous because

748
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,320
Speaker 1: she works at a school, so let's call her Jane.

749
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,760
Speaker 1: Jane says, help, I work at a growing charter school

750
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 1: as a leader. I'm afraid of backlash if I leave

751
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:53,840
Speaker 1: the charter school because it is no longer conducive for

752
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:57,280
Speaker 1: my life as a parent. However, the culture is sometimes

753
00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 1: unfortunately like they will try to negotiate to keep you.

754
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 1: I'm struggling with the stress. I have great potential to

755
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 1: grow my career, but is it worth all that? Do

756
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 1: I have to feel the need to climb the ladder

757
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,799
Speaker 1: when I know it's going to impact my ability to

758
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 1: be mentally and physically present for my growing family? Should

759
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 1: I stay or leave? I have a job offer making

760
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 1: the same salary for another school. What do y'all think, Jane?

761
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:28,400
Speaker 3: Run No so as somebody who you know was a teacher,

762
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 3: but I am also very familiar with the charter school.

763
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 2: H How do you so hustle?

764
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 3: It's really intense Mandy, like, think about school, but then

765
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 3: add corporate America. Like all of my friends who work

766
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:45,920
Speaker 3: for charter schools, it's a lot like I've had a

767
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 3: number of friends who leave. You know, it's you know,

768
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 3: if you're a brand new teacher and you've never worked

769
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 3: in a teaching environment before, and you don't know that

770
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 3: there's like other ways than it could be all right.

771
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 3: But I remember, even when I was just gonna, I

772
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 3: was gonna do an after school program at a charter's, Mandy.

773
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:06,759
Speaker 2: I was like, is this jail? They were so strict

774
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:08,879
Speaker 2: the way they talk to the kid.

775
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:10,680
Speaker 3: I mean, not all try to schools, obviously, because I've

776
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 3: definitely seen some amazing ones, But so I can imagine

777
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 3: the environment that she's talking about. It's very it feels

778
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 3: very corporate what I imagine, I guess corporate America, meaning

779
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 3: like but not in the good way.

780
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:24,680
Speaker 2: You know, like, these are your expectations. We need to

781
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 2: stay late.

782
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,800
Speaker 3: We need you to sell Jane sis Sis as someone

783
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 3: who is team doing too much. Don't come up to

784
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 3: this side. It's not cute over here. I'm trying to

785
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 3: go over to you know, doing less. So I would

786
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 3: suggest to you, especially it's not like you're saying, should

787
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 3: I quit? And I don't know how I'm going to

788
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:43,759
Speaker 3: feed my family? You literally are going to replace your

789
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:49,240
Speaker 3: income with comparable income and a better emotional and mental

790
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 3: space for yourself. No, always choose yourself and your family first,

791
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:54,759
Speaker 3: and you know you have something that you're going to

792
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,320
Speaker 3: be able to still maintain what you bring into the household.

793
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 3: Don't like running up a corporate or whatever ladder at school.

794
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 3: I get all that, but is that where you even

795
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 3: want to go?

796
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:06,279
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

797
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:09,839
Speaker 3: Like, it doesn't make sense to be the best at

798
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 3: the worst thing like that. There's nothing worse than being

799
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,040
Speaker 3: successful at the thing you hate. You're like, oh, great,

800
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:18,760
Speaker 3: have more, this is great? Yeah, yeah, so that's.

801
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 1: She doesn't hate the sorry interrupt God, doesn't sound like

802
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 1: she hates necessarily what she's doing, but where she's doing

803
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:29,400
Speaker 1: it exactly? And get I get the question here. It

804
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 1: seems like they'll try to negotiate to keep you. So

805
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 1: when she goes to them with this, you know the

806
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,320
Speaker 1: fact that she has a job offer at another school,

807
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 1: they may just try and throw money at her to

808
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: keep her around. It just depends on what you value more,

809
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 1: do you and and think about how much more they're

810
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 1: going to be giving you, and just spread that out,

811
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,360
Speaker 1: spread that out over however many paychecks a year that

812
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 1: you get. Sometimes on paper a raise can sound a

813
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:56,920
Speaker 1: little bit better than it is, you know, after taxes

814
00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 1: and after you spread it out over the year, just

815
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:03,960
Speaker 1: really think about it, and and you just check in

816
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 1: with what you value, you know. I think that's when

817
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 1: people get clear about what they value. Do you value

818
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 1: your mental health and your ability to be present for

819
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 1: your family over dollar signs and what people think about you.

820
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 1: I kind of get the sense that you know the

821
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,799
Speaker 1: answer to your question just based on what you're asking us.

822
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 1: And as a mom, I would say anything that threatens

823
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:30,240
Speaker 1: your mental health threatens your child's mental health as well,

824
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 1: because they're not getting the mom or the parent that

825
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 1: they deserve, Like you can't be one hundred percent emotionally

826
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:43,320
Speaker 1: and mentally present for them. And I'm not about that life.

827
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,719
Speaker 1: Everything I do that makes myself better, I'm doing it

828
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 1: so I can be a better person to be around

829
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 1: for my child and for my family. And that just

830
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 1: when I got clear about that being a value, it

831
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 1: made all my career and financial and any choice really

832
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 1: just so much easier so it's not. It seems like

833
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 1: you do know your values, and it's almost like you

834
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 1: want us to say it's okay to value that stuff.

835
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:10,360
Speaker 1: It's okay, it is, yes, fuck the latter, because you know,

836
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 1: we live.

837
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 3: In this society, you know, Mandy. Everything is go go, go, hustle, hustle, hustle,

838
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:18,799
Speaker 3: you know, and I fall victim to that sometimes. But

839
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,320
Speaker 3: it's like, at the end of the day, it's only

840
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 3: cute for a two second post on Instagram and then

841
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:27,960
Speaker 3: you have to actually live the real life, you know,

842
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 3: like so I promise.

843
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 1: Got promoted team no.

844
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:36,160
Speaker 2: Sleep dying over here, like no Sleep.

845
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 3: So yeah, it sounds like you know, like like Manna said,

846
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 3: it sounds like you know, you know what you're wanting

847
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 3: to do, and you're just wanting to be like, is

848
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,439
Speaker 3: it okay what you think is like, am I wrong

849
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,359
Speaker 3: for not being quote unquote ambitious. No, it's not lack

850
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,279
Speaker 3: of ambition. You are allowed to say, you know, this

851
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 3: is not the environment I want to work in. Although

852
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 3: I do love teaching, I want to work in a

853
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 3: different environment. That's why, honestly, I left the school system

854
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:59,839
Speaker 3: because I love teaching and it was making me hate

855
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 3: to because I just didn't feel like it was conducive

856
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 3: to the way that I wanted to show up for

857
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 3: the people that I was serving. And at first I

858
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 3: was like, I'm never going back to teaching again.

859
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:09,719
Speaker 2: I hate it.

860
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,919
Speaker 3: And then I was like, oh wait, I actually really

861
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,320
Speaker 3: loved teaching. I just didn't love within the confines of

862
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 3: where I was working. So you are allowed to You

863
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,359
Speaker 3: are allowed to take your dream. It's like take your

864
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:20,360
Speaker 3: ball and go home. You're allowed to take your dream

865
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 3: and go someplace else where you feel at home.

866
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 1: A man's sister friend ash check fuck away.

867
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 2: I like that Amen's sister friend.

868
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: I'm putting it on a T shirt. All right, Well,

869
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 1: thank y'all again for your questions. Again, you can hit

870
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 1: us up on Insta, on email, or you can text

871
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 1: or leave us a voicemail a brief ish voicemail, and

872
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:45,040
Speaker 1: we'll put the number for our voicemail in the show notes.

873
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 1: So check it out and can't wait to hear from y'all.

874
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 2: And now it's time to boost a break A boost

875
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 2: a break. Is you gonna boost? Is he gonna break?

876
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 2: What you're gonna do, What you're gonna do, what you're

877
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 2: gonna do?

878
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 1: Mandy, Oh well, let me get to my notes, because

879
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,520
Speaker 1: I wrap to write stuff down these days, because that's

880
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:41,719
Speaker 1: what the world has come to. Oh my goodness. Well,

881
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do a boost for myself because we well

882
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 1: a boost and a break. I will boost the fact

883
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 1: that we made a parenting decision today Rio in daycare.

884
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we made two big parenting decisions. I

885
00:41:57,520 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 1: have to say my dog, Molly. Y'all have an heard

886
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 1: about Molly, Poor Molly. No one even asks about her.

887
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:05,359
Speaker 2: About Rio.

888
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 1: I mean, Molly, we still about Rio like my phone.

889
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:10,840
Speaker 1: The phone. Like the phone is not even a competition

890
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 1: the number of photos of the baby versus the dog.

891
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 1: But anyway, Molly is in a six week intensive dog

892
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 1: training program. Yeah, so we made that big decision. We

893
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 1: decided to give her. We just she's a rescue and

894
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 1: anyone who's you know, has adopted a rescue. It was

895
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 1: my first time adopting my having a dog on my

896
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 1: own as an adult period, let alone a rescue animal.

897
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 1: I underestimated how much time and how much skill you

898
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 1: need to have to be a dog owner. It's not easy.

899
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,839
Speaker 1: You can't just get them and give them treats and

900
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 1: they're perfect. So anyway, she's in training, and we're yeah,

901
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 1: so Rio, we decided this summer is it, We're going

902
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 1: to put him in daycare. A lot of people are

903
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 1: getting vaccinated here in New York, and it seems safe kids.

904
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,360
Speaker 1: I have friends, you have kids, and they've been in

905
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 1: daycare for months, if not the past year, and they've

906
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 1: been okay. And honestly, my house and.

907
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 4: Not take it, y'all, Like this little tornado what I

908
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 4: tell you. I'm like, he just needs he just needs

909
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 4: an open field, maybe like you know, with like a

910
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 4: mile long treadmill and just let him run, you know.

911
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,839
Speaker 1: So I am very very excited. I was like, can

912
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 1: you imagine how much cleaner the house would be if he, like,

913
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:21,279
Speaker 1: for eight hours a day just was fucking up someone

914
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:25,080
Speaker 1: else's roun Like, I'm so excited, But beyond that, I'm

915
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:28,480
Speaker 1: just excited for him to interact with other children. We've

916
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:32,319
Speaker 1: had a couple of like test playdates with cousins of

917
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:36,360
Speaker 1: trusted family, and he's so cute and bossy, and he

918
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 1: like takes all the big kids toys and he he

919
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:43,439
Speaker 1: he clearly is loving like playing and interacting. So I'm

920
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 1: doing that and there's there goes my my two thousand

921
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:50,759
Speaker 1: dollars a month for daycare, which sucked. So today we

922
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 1: went and put down that deposit. But it felt it

923
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 1: felt like a real parenting decision that I made, So

924
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,359
Speaker 1: you know, that's good. Yay, and thank you to all

925
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 1: of our child care providers and across the country for

926
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:05,919
Speaker 1: keeping our baby safe. And what I wanted to also

927
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 1: boost was a cute little story that I read about

928
00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 1: a young girl I think she was seven. Did you

929
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 1: see that she wrote a letter to Old Navy as

930
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 1: part of like a class project. No, she wrote a

931
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 1: letter to Old Navy asking them, can you please put

932
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:21,359
Speaker 1: real pockets on the girl pants? Because I don't think

933
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,799
Speaker 1: all their pants have no pockets, but some of the

934
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 1: girl like leggings or jeggings that she had been that

935
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 1: she had didn't have real pockets. And Old Navy's product

936
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 1: team sent her a letter back, excuse me, and with

937
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:36,920
Speaker 1: a lot of with the with some actual genes with

938
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 1: real pockets too, and it was really cute. So shout

939
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 1: out to Karen is that her name or Cameron Gardner

940
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:46,760
Speaker 1: for writing the essay. It reminded me of Megan Markle

941
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,239
Speaker 1: and how she like one of the first one of

942
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 1: my favorite stories about her is how she wrote a

943
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:52,840
Speaker 1: letter to like a dish soap company.

944
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember that because I only.

945
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:58,600
Speaker 1: Had women or something doing dishes. Yeah, so a little

946
00:44:58,640 --> 00:44:59,800
Speaker 1: Megan Markle on the making.

947
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:01,239
Speaker 2: Yes, I love that.

948
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:07,400
Speaker 3: Well, I'm going to all break. So we lost DMX,

949
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:11,000
Speaker 3: I know, so.

950
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:12,439
Speaker 1: Does it remain take it heard?

951
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 3: No, But it's just so crazy because you don't I

952
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:18,759
Speaker 3: didn't realize just how much of a role you know,

953
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:21,000
Speaker 3: like when DMX came out, he was a force, you know,

954
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 3: like a force, and he changed the landscape of music

955
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 3: and my high school and college years is just was

956
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,879
Speaker 3: like DMX just you just hear how other people talked

957
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 3: about him, just like how you know, although obviously he

958
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:41,600
Speaker 3: had his own demons, just the lover of spirituality that

959
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 3: he possessed and how it felt to be around him.

960
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:46,880
Speaker 3: He was imperfect in all ways and he you know,

961
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:49,480
Speaker 3: was clear about that, but he was clear that he

962
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 3: was fighting to be better that you know, he suffered

963
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:56,280
Speaker 3: an immense abuse as a child and so as a result,

964
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 3: it was reflected in some of his life choices. But

965
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 3: you know, it's sad to hear, you know, someone passing

966
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 3: that's left an imprint.

967
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:06,239
Speaker 2: And so yeah, I just wanted.

968
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:09,680
Speaker 3: To like say like, yeah, it was just like, oh, man,

969
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 3: I was listening to his music, I'm like, wow, this

970
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 3: is a man tormented but as also at the same

971
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 3: time joyful and so many young brothers that I said.

972
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 3: It was like, Yo, he's the first time I thought like, wow,

973
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 3: I can like believe in God and it's not some

974
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 3: corny stuff, you know what I mean, Like because DMX

975
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 3: was very open with his like beliefs, and he was

976
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 3: like a real dude, you know, quote unquote, like you know,

977
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 3: no one would ever say DMX is soft.

978
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:34,399
Speaker 2: He wasn't putting on.

979
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 3: That was just him from Yonkers, like that's that was

980
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,839
Speaker 3: how he behaved cameras on or off. And yet you

981
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 3: saw him dancing to Michael Jackson and jam and you

982
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:46,400
Speaker 3: saw him holding his daughter's hand when you know, they

983
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,240
Speaker 3: went on a roller coaster and she was so scared.

984
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 2: I mean, he just was so right. That was cute.

985
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,399
Speaker 1: I felt a little embarrassed, Like that was the first

986
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:55,239
Speaker 1: thing I thought. I was remember that clip.

987
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 2: You know, he's like I got you here, that is here.

988
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 3: But he sound like his normal DMX voice olf and

989
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:02,959
Speaker 3: you were like, oh, he always talks like that, So yeah,

990
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:05,320
Speaker 3: just like you know, there just seems to be a

991
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 3: lot of loss and then another loss too. I know

992
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 3: it's kind of a downer, but I don't know if

993
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 3: I remember if you asked me before, but I've been

994
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 3: using this skincare company called the butter Bar Skincare.

995
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you talked about them because they were featured

996
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 1: on Target or something like that, like a black business

997
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 1: brand of Target. Did I make that up anyway? Yes,

998
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 1: you've mentioned.

999
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:28,720
Speaker 3: But I love the butter Bar, like I got really

1000
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,920
Speaker 3: sensitive skin, and when I tell you, everything breaks me out,

1001
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:33,840
Speaker 3: like I can just think about it and it breaks

1002
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 3: me out. And so the young woman who started the

1003
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:41,840
Speaker 3: butter Bar, her name was Kimberly. She passed away, Kimberly

1004
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 3: Chloe Wilson. I'm not sure from what it seemed like

1005
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 3: she was battling some illnesses, but she leaves behind four

1006
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 3: small children and a husband. And I'm not gonna lie.

1007
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 3: It hit me kind of hard because I thought to myself,

1008
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 3: this is a woman, you know, she created this amazing

1009
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 3: business that was really blowing up. When I tell you

1010
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:04,000
Speaker 3: her her stuff, She's got this melanin drops transformed my

1011
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 3: skin Like people were like, what are you using like

1012
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:09,320
Speaker 3: my Leela, who does my makeup. It's always like whatever

1013
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:11,200
Speaker 3: you're using, continue because you know, no one sees your

1014
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:14,799
Speaker 3: skin like your makeup artists, you know. And so yeah,

1015
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 3: so apparently she's been struggling. I'm not sure what the

1016
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 3: illnesses were, but she'd been struggling with them for some

1017
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 3: time and she recently had like back to back strokes

1018
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:24,960
Speaker 3: as a result. And she was a young woman and

1019
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,920
Speaker 3: she didn't she didn't make it. And so it was

1020
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 3: just a reminder of like, you know, as a fellow

1021
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 3: business owner, you know, and not to say she did this.

1022
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 3: It seemed like she lived like a more balanced life

1023
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:37,240
Speaker 3: than I do. But it's just a reminder of like, yeah,

1024
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,920
Speaker 3: what it's all said and done, Like what's really really important?

1025
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:44,080
Speaker 3: You know? Yeah, That's why I was just like Tiffany,

1026
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:46,879
Speaker 3: you've got this. You know, you have this big check

1027
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,240
Speaker 3: mark that you checked off. Like your dreams and goals

1028
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 3: it's okay, Like they're not going anywhere. Sis, Like you

1029
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 3: could pick that up later, Like I need you to relax, rejuvenate,

1030
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 3: like reconnect. These dreams will be here and you don't

1031
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 3: you don't have to pursue them with every bit that

1032
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:03,280
Speaker 3: you have in you can save bits for other things.

1033
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 3: So it's just a re reminder of that, you know

1034
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:06,280
Speaker 3: that life is shortened.

1035
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:07,799
Speaker 2: We just we really don't.

1036
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:11,560
Speaker 3: Know when or how or why, and but you want

1037
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 3: that when it is your turn, you can really look

1038
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 3: and say, you know, well done in all aspects of

1039
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:17,919
Speaker 3: your life.

1040
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:21,240
Speaker 1: So well that business continue, I believe.

1041
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 3: So, So if you're wanting it's my butter bar skin,

1042
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:27,879
Speaker 3: that's at that's their ig. It looks like it will

1043
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:31,560
Speaker 3: because I know and she obviously had a team, so

1044
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 3: it looks like it will. They've been posting like videos

1045
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 3: and things of her and you know, like, honestly, this

1046
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 3: stuff is just amazing.

1047
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 2: It's not cheap. I'm not gonna lie.

1048
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:40,720
Speaker 3: The first time I brought it, I was like, okay,

1049
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 3: it's this, but I mean transform my skin, you know,

1050
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:46,560
Speaker 3: within a few weeks. Like I said, for someone who

1051
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 3: has highly sensitive skin, I can't even use certain chapsticks

1052
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 3: as my lips blow up. So yeah, for it to

1053
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 3: be all natural, I keep it's all natural. Like literally,

1054
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:56,399
Speaker 3: you keep her stuff in the refrigerator when you're ready

1055
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 3: to use it.

1056
00:49:58,000 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 2: So yeah, that was it.

1057
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:04,359
Speaker 1: Well, rest in peace. What's her name? Kimberly Kimberly Chloe

1058
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:06,800
Speaker 1: rest in peace, and my heart goes out to her family.

1059
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:09,359
Speaker 1: And I am going to go get some butter bar

1060
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:13,839
Speaker 1: right now, right now, I'm skincare obsessed. These days, I've

1061
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 1: been looking on my name face way too long on

1062
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 1: zoom day after day. That's not a downer, I mean

1063
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 1: it's nice. I mean we have to pay respects, all right,

1064
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:26,360
Speaker 1: all right.

1065
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:34,360
Speaker 2: DMX, Yes, hopefully you guys have it amazing week. We

1066
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:36,319
Speaker 2: will see you next week. Do we have a guest

1067
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:36,840
Speaker 2: next week?

1068
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:40,799
Speaker 1: We do not have a guest next week, but stay

1069
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 1: tuned because we have some really exciting guest co hosts

1070
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 1: coming up. When Tiffany's you know, off on her rejuvenation

1071
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 1: vacations plural, we are still going to be going strong,

1072
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 1: So we're getting our ducks in a row. And also

1073
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 1: just quick shout out to the Nineteenth. They're hosting us

1074
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 1: at their virtual sum at April twenty nine, so we'll

1075
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 1: post a link to where you guys can register. It's

1076
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 1: a free virtual summit all about how you can bounce

1077
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:09,719
Speaker 1: back from the COVID nineteen pandemic and the impact to

1078
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Speaker 1: your finances.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't wait. I can't wait another minute all Right, bestseller,

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Speaker 2: al Rightmandra until next week

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Speaker 1: Until next week,