1
00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:03,280
Speaker 1: Hey there everybody.

2
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,960
Speaker 2: So you've opened all of your Christmas and holiday gifts,

3
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:10,160
Speaker 2: and sure you had some things you loved, but almost

4
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:11,440
Speaker 2: certainly you had.

5
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:16,120
Speaker 3: Some things that sucked. That absolutely sucks. Let's just say it. Okay,

6
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,880
Speaker 3: some of us had a disappointing Christmas.

7
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,960
Speaker 2: Yes, and so look, we have I always have questions

8
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,200
Speaker 2: about what the right thing to do is in that

9
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,760
Speaker 2: situation a when you open it, even in front of

10
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:29,280
Speaker 2: the gift giver, or when you know you're going to

11
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,879
Speaker 2: want to return it. So we have the expert on gifts,

12
00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:36,839
Speaker 2: Julian Give, an associate professor there at West Virginia, and

13
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:41,360
Speaker 2: he actually studies gift giving for a living, and so

14
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,519
Speaker 2: we had him on earlier to talk about what you

15
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:44,000
Speaker 2: should give.

16
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,159
Speaker 1: But now receiving can be even harder than giving.

17
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,360
Speaker 3: Sometimes and professor giving good to have you back here.

18
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,400
Speaker 3: Let me start period point blank. Number one.

19
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,760
Speaker 4: Is it okay ever to regift?

20
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:59,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I think we're talking the research. Actually the

21
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,800
Speaker 5: research suggests yes it is because one of the findings

22
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:07,440
Speaker 5: there is that as as regifters, we think that it's

23
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,919
Speaker 5: going to kind of hurt the person's feelings more than.

24
00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,720
Speaker 6: It actually does. Never re regift.

25
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,080
Speaker 5: So I think, you know, regifting, it's it's one of

26
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,120
Speaker 5: those things. Everyone knows that it happens, right, Sometimes we

27
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,520
Speaker 5: can even tell whenever whenever we receive one. So the

28
00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,800
Speaker 5: research suggests that you know, it's it's maybe it's one

29
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,959
Speaker 5: of those things where it's it's kind of maybe not

30
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,679
Speaker 5: the greatest, but it's it's sort of less bad, I.

31
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,319
Speaker 6: Think than than we as consumers, we as.

32
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:33,080
Speaker 3: Gififts, you should you always try to hide the fact.

33
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,000
Speaker 3: You shouldn't be honest about it. Should you that you

34
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,000
Speaker 3: regifted somebody's gift? Should you?

35
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:38,399
Speaker 6: Yeah?

36
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,040
Speaker 5: I think I think naturally right that there's no research

37
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,080
Speaker 5: on this, but I think, right if we if we're

38
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,040
Speaker 5: just you know, talking about social norms, right, I think

39
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:46,959
Speaker 5: there's a pretty strong social norm that says, you know,

40
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,040
Speaker 5: I don't just open it up and regift, you know,

41
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,680
Speaker 5: regifted the next day, right in front of the person, right.

42
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,360
Speaker 6: So I think I think people, Yeah, people generally.

43
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,559
Speaker 5: Do tend to realize that, right, and they follow the norm,

44
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,080
Speaker 5: you know, try to and you try to not only

45
00:01:58,120 --> 00:01:59,680
Speaker 5: do it in front of the person, give it to

46
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,120
Speaker 5: someone who has no idea who these two people, you know,

47
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,880
Speaker 5: so they go mash right, send to someone in you know,

48
00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:07,080
Speaker 5: in Vermont, right, as opposed to you know, Pittsburgh.

49
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:09,400
Speaker 2: Right. That's very important because you don't want to have

50
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,280
Speaker 2: the person who gave you the gift walk into someone

51
00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:13,359
Speaker 2: else's home and see the gift they gave you in

52
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:14,240
Speaker 2: someone else's home.

53
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,720
Speaker 1: That would be terrible, awful.

54
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,920
Speaker 2: I'm curious. I'm thinking back to the days. I'm going

55
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,600
Speaker 2: to call my brother out. He does not have a

56
00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:25,600
Speaker 2: poker face, and when he opened a gift he didn't like,

57
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,000
Speaker 2: it was obvious to everyone, to the point where my

58
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,160
Speaker 2: mom would get upset with him, like, Eric, you need

59
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,600
Speaker 2: to put on a better face when you open someone's

60
00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:35,160
Speaker 2: gift that you don't like. How important is it to

61
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:40,320
Speaker 2: feign that you like something even when you don't.

62
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think I think there is right.

63
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,360
Speaker 5: That is, it is somewhat important, right because the person

64
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,880
Speaker 5: is making it generally making an effort to give you something.

65
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:48,120
Speaker 4: Right.

66
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,079
Speaker 5: But it's one of those things where it's like people

67
00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:51,760
Speaker 5: really do seem to struggle with that.

68
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:51,960
Speaker 2: Right.

69
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,000
Speaker 6: Some people are really good at.

70
00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:54,960
Speaker 5: It, and some people it's right, there's people who we

71
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,320
Speaker 5: all know that are just like they're the person who's

72
00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,679
Speaker 5: not good at disclosing or at hiding what they do

73
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,920
Speaker 5: if they like something. And so what I'll tell you

74
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:06,240
Speaker 5: is it's interesting is that research research shows that there's

75
00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,320
Speaker 5: three kind of avenues that people take when they receive

76
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,639
Speaker 5: something they don't like. So first they either just kind

77
00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,760
Speaker 5: of disclose it kind of sounds like your brother, right,

78
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,600
Speaker 5: either either intentionally or unintentionally. It's just like yeah, like

79
00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:20,880
Speaker 5: and I'm sure right, this maybe happens when you're very

80
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,680
Speaker 5: close to the person. You feel comfortable, like you know,

81
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,680
Speaker 5: what on earth did you just give me? Right, So

82
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,560
Speaker 5: disclosing is one avenue. The other thing people try to

83
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:28,959
Speaker 5: do is we do try to hide it.

84
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:29,200
Speaker 6: Right.

85
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,720
Speaker 5: You've maybe heard the term don't look the gift horse

86
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,520
Speaker 5: in the mouth, right, you try to hide it, you know,

87
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,360
Speaker 5: act appreciative, right, and that that's certainly a good thing

88
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,280
Speaker 5: to do if you can. And the third thing people

89
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,360
Speaker 5: often do is is we try to reevaluate it.

90
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:41,560
Speaker 2: Right.

91
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,520
Speaker 5: So maybe like in the moment, right, we try to

92
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,680
Speaker 5: just get through that moment. And then you know, rather

93
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,640
Speaker 5: than kind of allowing to like harm our relationship with

94
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,600
Speaker 5: the person, right, we kind of think like, okay, let

95
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,320
Speaker 5: me try to think about what it is that they

96
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,040
Speaker 5: were thinking when they gave me this right, and maybe

97
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,360
Speaker 5: that will allow you realize, oh, like I did mention

98
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,520
Speaker 5: that you know, I like, you know, horses or whatever,

99
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,480
Speaker 5: and that's what you know, that's why gave me the

100
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:01,960
Speaker 5: picture of the horse, even if in the moment you're like,

101
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,320
Speaker 5: why did you give me that picture of the horse?

102
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:03,520
Speaker 2: Right?

103
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,880
Speaker 6: You know, something along those lines, right.

104
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,360
Speaker 5: So a lot of different strategies that people try to

105
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,960
Speaker 5: do around this sort of delicate dance when we receive

106
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,680
Speaker 5: an I don't want to undesired gift.

107
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:17,120
Speaker 3: Okay, as the rule for returning, similar to regifting, do

108
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,520
Speaker 3: we not want I mean, some people give gift receipts

109
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,600
Speaker 3: with the understanding that's fine, but generally speaking, do you

110
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,839
Speaker 3: also want to keep the fact that you returned it

111
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,560
Speaker 3: from the person who gave it to you?

112
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:28,799
Speaker 6: Yeah?

113
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,800
Speaker 5: So's it's really very similar to the whole to the

114
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:36,640
Speaker 5: regifting thing, where on average, we as giver, sorry, as recipients,

115
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,479
Speaker 5: we think it's going to be more offensive to the

116
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,000
Speaker 5: person than it really is. But again, I think, you know,

117
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,560
Speaker 5: sort of social norms dictate like, hey, you don't want

118
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,360
Speaker 5: to like rub in their face like, hey, look I

119
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,240
Speaker 5: have returned this thing, right, So I think generally the

120
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,440
Speaker 5: same pattern is the same. And you know as gift

121
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,320
Speaker 5: as you know people who give gifts, at the end

122
00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:54,160
Speaker 5: of the day, like we do want the person to

123
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,960
Speaker 5: receive something that they like, right, And so it's not

124
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,920
Speaker 5: gonna nearly hurt my feelings as much as you might

125
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,120
Speaker 5: think just because you know, you turned one, you know,

126
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,880
Speaker 5: a medium for for for a large, right for the

127
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:04,960
Speaker 5: shirt or whatever it may be.

128
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,480
Speaker 3: But what if you switched the shirt completely, right, I

129
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,960
Speaker 3: take the shirt back and I got shoes or you're right,

130
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:10,800
Speaker 3: that kind of a thing.

131
00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:12,360
Speaker 4: It's not just a size issue.

132
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, no, So we did.

133
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,440
Speaker 5: We did look at that actually in one of our studies,

134
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,000
Speaker 5: and what we find is that whenever, whenever it's just

135
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,360
Speaker 5: like we did we kind of separated things in the

136
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:26,840
Speaker 5: broadly either like preference space returns or like usability based returns, right,

137
00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:29,520
Speaker 5: And so whenever it's like a usability based so basically

138
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,840
Speaker 5: like a shirt doesn't fit right there, everyone kind of

139
00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:33,680
Speaker 5: agrees like, yeah, you know you should return it as

140
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,119
Speaker 5: a recipient. I feel fine returning it, right, But whenever

141
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,680
Speaker 5: it comes to the sort of more preference based things

142
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,000
Speaker 5: like okay, you've got me the green shirt, I wanted

143
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,040
Speaker 5: the red one. There is, where as recipients were kind

144
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,800
Speaker 5: of hesitant to return, but the giver is like, no,

145
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:46,880
Speaker 5: look you want the red one.

146
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,560
Speaker 6: It's it's not as bad as you might think. Go

147
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:49,719
Speaker 6: ahead and go ahead and return.

148
00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you know what I was trying

149
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,360
Speaker 2: to think any time where I felt, I don't know,

150
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:59,360
Speaker 2: slight offense about the gift I gave. And I think

151
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,680
Speaker 2: the worst part was not even someone can return it.

152
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:02,640
Speaker 1: Totally get that.

153
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:06,000
Speaker 2: But when someone just leaves it and doesn't even pick

154
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,760
Speaker 2: it up again, and doesn't bring it to their room

155
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,279
Speaker 2: or doesn't take it with them, You're like, wow, you

156
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:15,120
Speaker 2: not only hate you just ignored it and never even

157
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,520
Speaker 2: bothered to take it with you.

158
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:22,200
Speaker 1: Or I've seen that happen mostly kids, but it's Oh.

159
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,919
Speaker 4: I like Aesop products too. I just haven't gotten around.

160
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,680
Speaker 2: No, but when you see they're not being used and

161
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,160
Speaker 2: I'd rather, I'd rather have someone return it. And I

162
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,760
Speaker 2: think is that I think from the perspective of being

163
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:38,640
Speaker 2: the gift giver, wouldn't you always rather someone enjoy the

164
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,960
Speaker 2: money you spent, regardless of if it's the gift you

165
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,039
Speaker 2: gave them or something that they returned it for, to

166
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,280
Speaker 2: actually enjoy yeah, I one.

167
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,120
Speaker 5: Think that that's part of it, right, No one likes that,

168
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,720
Speaker 5: you know, there's this sort of some cost effect you

169
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,400
Speaker 5: guys may have. Basically, we don't like spending money and

170
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,120
Speaker 5: having it just go to waste, right, So I think

171
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,760
Speaker 5: that's one hundred percent. What's part of what's going on

172
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:04,240
Speaker 5: here is like, look, I spend fifty dollars on that thing.

173
00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:07,480
Speaker 5: If you don't want it, that's fine, but like donate it,

174
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,440
Speaker 5: you know, return it for something else, even regifted, right,

175
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,280
Speaker 5: Like just get some usefulness out of it, so that

176
00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,600
Speaker 5: way my money is hasn't gone to ways.

177
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:14,960
Speaker 6: You know.

178
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,720
Speaker 4: Is that something you mentioned?

179
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,840
Speaker 3: Returning and regifting is one thing, but is it a

180
00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:21,800
Speaker 3: good idea to.

181
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:23,640
Speaker 2: It?

182
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:29,680
Speaker 3: Seems manipulative, But to make sure you let the person

183
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:33,400
Speaker 3: who gave you the gift see you using it at

184
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,600
Speaker 3: one point or another, maybe where that you don't love

185
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,360
Speaker 3: the jacket, but I'm aware at one time because that

186
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,400
Speaker 3: person gave it to me.

187
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,120
Speaker 4: At least I can get that out of the way.

188
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:44,920
Speaker 1: That sounds terrible, No, We've all done it.

189
00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's certainly. It's one of those things.

190
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:47,400
Speaker 2: Right.

191
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,080
Speaker 5: It's funny when you talk the gift, give it. You

192
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,400
Speaker 5: know people about gift giving. You pick up on these

193
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,800
Speaker 5: things and then you realize like, oh wow, like yeah, this

194
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,040
Speaker 5: is a lot of thing that a lot of people do,

195
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,560
Speaker 5: and that's it they don't. I think that is one

196
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,800
Speaker 5: of those ones, right. I think it may be manipulated it,

197
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,480
Speaker 5: but is it. I mean it's it's kind of like

198
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,800
Speaker 5: telling a white lie, right, Whereas if you're doing it

199
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,560
Speaker 5: out of to make the person feel good about themselves

200
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,320
Speaker 5: and so that's not the worst thing in the world

201
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,280
Speaker 5: if you do. And I think it's something that everyone does,

202
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:10,800
Speaker 5: so I want to feel too down about it.

203
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,680
Speaker 2: I actually wanted to ask you about this to Julian

204
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,480
Speaker 2: because I think they did a Saturday Night Live episode

205
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,280
Speaker 2: about it, and we watched it last year because my

206
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,160
Speaker 2: mom always does this and now my daughter say, I

207
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,240
Speaker 2: do it too, before or as they're opening the gift.

208
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,040
Speaker 2: If you don't like it, you can totally take it

209
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,920
Speaker 2: back and you start like diminishing the gift that you

210
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,839
Speaker 2: are giving them in anticipation of the fact that they

211
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:34,560
Speaker 2: may not like it.

212
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,960
Speaker 1: And I find myself doing it too.

213
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,200
Speaker 2: But I grew up with a mom who did that,

214
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:43,320
Speaker 2: and I was just does that affect the recipient's experience

215
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,400
Speaker 2: of receiving the gift.

216
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:47,319
Speaker 1: Now there's like extra pressure to say no. Of course

217
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:47,920
Speaker 1: I like it.

218
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:49,800
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, totally.

219
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:51,719
Speaker 5: And again another one of those things right where you

220
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,280
Speaker 5: think about it's like everyone does this right, And I

221
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:54,760
Speaker 5: think we as givers, we do it a lot when

222
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,640
Speaker 5: we're when we feel like we're taking some kind of

223
00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:00,200
Speaker 5: a risk rate. That's generally whenever it comes up right,

224
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,719
Speaker 5: Like I know you talked to me about the one

225
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,760
Speaker 5: of you had given concert tickets to your child. Right,

226
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,880
Speaker 5: for that, you're probably not saying it right. It's whenever

227
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,400
Speaker 5: you're you're going out in the live right, the kind

228
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,520
Speaker 5: of glamar concer you're not or you're not you're not

229
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,360
Speaker 5: saying that right. But for these ones where you're feeling,

230
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,160
Speaker 5: oh man, I'm really under pressure here if this doesn't

231
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,000
Speaker 5: go right. And I think the nice thing about is

232
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,560
Speaker 5: that when you do it, it kind of relates back to

233
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:22,200
Speaker 5: what we were talking about before with setting expectations right right,

234
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,080
Speaker 5: because because what you did in there is you're basically

235
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,319
Speaker 5: making them think like, oh, this is going to be

236
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:26,000
Speaker 5: a horrible gift.

237
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,360
Speaker 6: Then they open up their go it's not not too bad, right.

238
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,800
Speaker 5: So either on one hand, you know, maybe it could

239
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,840
Speaker 5: really make them sort of you're not buying the expectations.

240
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:35,440
Speaker 3: I hate it.

241
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,280
Speaker 4: I hate the expectations. Gain.

242
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,120
Speaker 3: I know my gift is better because I told you

243
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,400
Speaker 3: it's shitty.

244
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,720
Speaker 2: I'm going to wrap all the gifts so loosely and

245
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,439
Speaker 2: terribly now so that everyone has these expectations of them

246
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,240
Speaker 2: being awful, and then they're like, wow, this is so

247
00:09:50,400 --> 00:10:01,840
Speaker 2: much better than I thought. What is your take on

248
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:06,760
Speaker 2: thank you notes? Are they important? Are they necessary? Can

249
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,080
Speaker 2: you just say thank you? Can you text it thank you?

250
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,760
Speaker 2: Do you have to write a thank you card?

251
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:11,040
Speaker 1: Out?

252
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:12,320
Speaker 6: Yeah? So there.

253
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,800
Speaker 5: I mean, this is definitely a social norms thing, right,

254
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,959
Speaker 5: It's going to so heavily depend on the situation, right,

255
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,760
Speaker 5: Wedding gifts, you know, funeral gifts, right, those kinds of

256
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,800
Speaker 5: things pretty set in stone that you know, go ahead,

257
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,240
Speaker 5: send an actual thank you card? Right, But I think

258
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,200
Speaker 5: for a lot of these things, you know, you know,

259
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,120
Speaker 5: a FaceTime or a text or whatever. You know, if

260
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,160
Speaker 5: someone sends you a gift from across the country, right,

261
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,959
Speaker 5: give them a call, say say thanks.

262
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,880
Speaker 6: Right. It doesn't have to be anything formal, but I

263
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:36,720
Speaker 6: think at least.

264
00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,400
Speaker 5: Minimum, showing them that and you know what I will

265
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,319
Speaker 5: say is that, you know, it's kind of funny is

266
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:45,360
Speaker 5: that for for wedding gifts and talking to people about

267
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,120
Speaker 5: about like when they receive whenever they give wedding gifts

268
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,240
Speaker 5: and then the recipient doesn't send like thank you notes.

269
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,200
Speaker 5: They're like, man like I spent like twohundred dollars on

270
00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:56,040
Speaker 5: this thing from my net, Like they don't send anything back,

271
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,079
Speaker 5: Like come on, you know, so people do actually know

272
00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,839
Speaker 5: kind of kind of remember that and think about it,

273
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:00,480
Speaker 5: maybe more.

274
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,400
Speaker 6: Than more than you might think.

275
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,080
Speaker 2: We had someone that we don't know send us flowers

276
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,520
Speaker 2: and I didn't even know.

277
00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:07,600
Speaker 1: We didn't even know how to respond back to them.

278
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,760
Speaker 2: It was more like an And we actually got like

279
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,720
Speaker 2: a month later through a third party asking if we

280
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:16,800
Speaker 2: had received the flowers, which was, in my opinion, a

281
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,400
Speaker 2: little slap on the wrist for not finding a way

282
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,480
Speaker 2: to say thank you. And I'm not saying we weren't

283
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,840
Speaker 2: wrong or I wasn't wrong, but it was a reminder,

284
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:28,400
Speaker 2: oh wow, that was important to that person that we acknowledge.

285
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,079
Speaker 1: But you know what, you know, Julian, I.

286
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:35,760
Speaker 2: Do this because having yes weddings or any sort of

287
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,000
Speaker 2: surgery where you get like an influx of gifts. I

288
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,120
Speaker 2: understand how overwhelming it is to then have to write

289
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,600
Speaker 2: all those thank you notes. So I always tell people

290
00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:44,840
Speaker 2: when I give them a gift, don't you.

291
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:46,160
Speaker 1: Dare write me a thank you note.

292
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,360
Speaker 2: That's part of my gift to them is that they

293
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,400
Speaker 2: do not have to write me a thank you note.

294
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,400
Speaker 1: How how is that received? Is that something that people do?

295
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,520
Speaker 2: I just know how taxing it is to sit down

296
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,520
Speaker 2: and write all the It just takes away from some

297
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,000
Speaker 2: of the joy of the gift itself.

298
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I think, just more broadly, right in the

299
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:09,240
Speaker 5: gift giving around, right, having helping save recipients work, right, Like,

300
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,719
Speaker 5: whether it's writing thank you notes or it's you know,

301
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,240
Speaker 5: here's you know, fifty dollars, you have to spend the

302
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,000
Speaker 5: rest of the fifty you know, you have to spend

303
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,319
Speaker 5: your own rest of your money to go get the

304
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,959
Speaker 5: one hundred dollars item, right, something like that.

305
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:19,240
Speaker 6: Right.

306
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,520
Speaker 5: I think generally recipients aren't going to respond favorably to that,

307
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,400
Speaker 5: right everyone. You know, we like when people save us time,

308
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,800
Speaker 5: save us work. So I think that's that's a nice thing.

309
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,439
Speaker 5: I'm sure your recipients do appreciate it.

310
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:30,120
Speaker 4: Julian.

311
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,200
Speaker 3: Last thing here, just as a reminder of the season,

312
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,120
Speaker 3: if you will, you're a guy that studies this stuff.

313
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,680
Speaker 3: We've just got done with the whole gift giving season

314
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:41,679
Speaker 3: past Christmas, but just for all of us, give us

315
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,000
Speaker 3: a little perspective and just remind us, Yes, we stressed

316
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,800
Speaker 3: about giving the gifts, we stressed one we received the gifts.

317
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:50,040
Speaker 3: But just can you button this up and give just

318
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:53,320
Speaker 3: a little perspective about why we all did this and

319
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,400
Speaker 3: what we should really be taking out of what we

320
00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:56,960
Speaker 3: just went through in the holiday season.

321
00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, of course.

322
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:02,200
Speaker 5: So yeah, thing like you said, as gift or is,

323
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,520
Speaker 5: we do stress a lot, and the research is pretty

324
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,840
Speaker 5: adamant showing that we stress more than we need to.

325
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,040
Speaker 5: And I think at the end of the day, recipients,

326
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,319
Speaker 5: you know, what we want out of a gift, right

327
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:12,600
Speaker 5: at the end of the day, what we want is

328
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,559
Speaker 5: we want feeling appreciated. We want to, you know, feel

329
00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:17,280
Speaker 5: closer to the person that gave us. We want to

330
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,240
Speaker 5: feel loved and cared for and all those things. And

331
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,760
Speaker 5: I think you know you don't have to, you know,

332
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,959
Speaker 5: hit home runs all the time to do that, right,

333
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,520
Speaker 5: Certainly you can hit a few singles and doubles, maybe

334
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,480
Speaker 5: one home run for you know, per Christmas is or

335
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,520
Speaker 5: per you know, per holiday is a good idea, But

336
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,600
Speaker 5: at the end of the day, you know, gift giving

337
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:36,000
Speaker 5: really is about, you know, growing closer to each other

338
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,640
Speaker 5: and showing love and appreciation. I think, you know, most

339
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,559
Speaker 5: of us do that most of the time. So I

340
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:44,560
Speaker 5: want to stress nearly as much as you might.

341
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:49,040
Speaker 2: Think that's a really good perspective that it's not. It's

342
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,440
Speaker 2: more about how you act each and every day of

343
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:54,800
Speaker 2: the year and less about exactly what kind of gives

344
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:59,680
Speaker 2: you give. So we appreciate all of this perspective, professor give.

345
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,680
Speaker 2: This is something where we all go through it each

346
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:07,280
Speaker 2: and every year, and yet we still stress. It seems

347
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:10,040
Speaker 2: like the same amount and to the point where you

348
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,840
Speaker 2: get stressed just anticipating, Hey, Chris, this season. I was

349
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,800
Speaker 2: trying to actually soppen what you typically say. But yes,

350
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:20,000
Speaker 2: he starts saying I hate Christmas around November one of

351
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,280
Speaker 2: every year, and it continues through January one.

352
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,200
Speaker 3: Because of what he describes the stress we all put

353
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:27,080
Speaker 3: on it, and we just freak everybody out. So we appreciate

354
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,480
Speaker 3: you buttoning that up and reminding us what the season

355
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:30,120
Speaker 3: was really about.

356
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,400
Speaker 4: And for everybody listening.

357
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,480
Speaker 3: Yes, fellas, we're gonna have Professor give you back for

358
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:35,400
Speaker 3: Valentine's Day.

359
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,960
Speaker 4: He's gonna help you with those gifts too. For us

360
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:39,320
Speaker 4: to give me.

361
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,800
Speaker 3: Really, it's been an absolute pleasure of getting to know you.

362
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:45,080
Speaker 3: Your wealth of knowledge is so impressive. Thank you, Thank

363
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,360
Speaker 3: you so much. Hope you had a great holiday and

364
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,480
Speaker 3: hopefully we'll talk to you soon.

365
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,800
Speaker 5: All right, Yeah, thank you you guys as well, and

366
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,000
Speaker 5: I'm sure you'll do an awesome job giving gifts.

367
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:53,320
Speaker 6: This here,