1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:04,880 Speaker 1: Buggle up, hold on, and here it is the letters 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: subject cheating and deceiving women do Stephen Shirley, I've been 3 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:11,639 Speaker 1: married for six years now. I recently found out that 4 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: my husband, who is of African descent, had been lying 5 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:18,680 Speaker 1: to me all this time about his ex and children too, 6 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 1: being out of the country. We moved into a new 7 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: home and also move and he also moved his ex 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,800 Speaker 1: and two children into a new home. He signed his 9 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,640 Speaker 1: name with her on the house and she also still 10 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 1: carries his last name. He finally admitted to what was 11 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: going on after all these years and said he confessed 12 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: because of reading a book, but I know it was 13 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 1: because of his conscience getting the best of him. He 14 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: tells me to leave his past alone and deal with 15 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 1: our future. I told him that his past is also 16 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 1: a part of our present, of his present and future, 17 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: and he had never even turned his past away. He 18 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: said he did it because this is his way of 19 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: taking care of his child. But I told him, you 20 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: could take care of your child without having to take 21 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,959 Speaker 1: care of the woman. How about child support and visitation rights. 22 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,320 Speaker 1: I know he is still seeing her because she doesn't 23 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,959 Speaker 1: have a man, and I know he will not approve 24 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,399 Speaker 1: of a man being with her because he's paying the 25 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,320 Speaker 1: mortgage and other bills. He has deceived me and lied 26 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,760 Speaker 1: and committed adultery. I'm still here because this is my 27 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 1: first marriage and I thought my last, and I'm trying 28 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,759 Speaker 1: to work it out. He's very kind and takes care 29 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,760 Speaker 1: of home, but in his mind he feels he is 30 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 1: doing nothing wrong. Uh. We do not have any children together, 31 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,959 Speaker 1: but I have a twelve and fourteen year old at home. 32 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,839 Speaker 1: I also asked, does this woman know we are married? 33 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:43,160 Speaker 1: And uh, he says yes. I asked is she working? 34 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: He also says yes. I don't believe him because she 35 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 1: is from Bosnia, very white, and uh, I'm not sure 36 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 1: if she speaks English. I also asked when will I 37 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 1: meet his children? And he ignored the question. However, it 38 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 1: doesn't matter to me if I never meet them. I'm 39 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: trying to salvage this marriag, but I don't know how 40 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 1: long I can deal with the deceit and lies. What's 41 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,880 Speaker 1: your advice? I know I have to leave, but what 42 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 1: other alternative do I have? Thanks? Hal's blessed. Um. Wow. Okay, clearly, 43 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 1: clearly your husband has been lying to you for quite 44 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:19,360 Speaker 1: some time at least six years, probably more. And I 45 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 1: agree with you. Uh, he can take care of his 46 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: children by sending child support and working out visitation, you know, 47 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: and all that. He doesn't have to deal with the 48 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,639 Speaker 1: other woman in that sense, the way he's dealing with her, 49 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: paying her mortgage and all that, that is crazy. The 50 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,520 Speaker 1: other stuff he's doing with his ex is just cheating, Okay, 51 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: plain and simple. He's cheating. He has two sets of families. 52 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,959 Speaker 1: He just has to. He's got a woman over there 53 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 1: in this new house that he's paying the mortgage for, 54 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: and then he's got you and your kids in your 55 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 1: new home over there. Uh, this is crazy, you said, 56 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 1: he confessed after reading a book. I just want to 57 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: know what book is this? Um? You know? And did 58 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: he think after telling you that you were gonna be 59 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: okay with this? And I don't care how he feels 60 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: in his mind about you know, this being good. He 61 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,399 Speaker 1: doesn't see anything wrong with it or that you say 62 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: he's kind, you know, Tell him he is doing something wrong. 63 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: He's lying and cheating and there's nothing kind about that. 64 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 1: He needs to stop. And that's the only way I 65 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: see this marriage, you know, you being able to salvage 66 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,959 Speaker 1: this marriage otherwise, just like you said in your letter. Um, 67 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: you know you have to leave twelve minutes after We'll 68 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 1: be back with the crows. What she said in her letter? 69 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 1: What letter did you read? All right, Steve, come on, 70 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,680 Speaker 1: here we go, Part two of your response to today's 71 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: Strawberry letter. Um, Okay, Shirley, I'm gonna have to go 72 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 1: along with what you said based on this information, but 73 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: I'm gonna show you a bunch of holes in here 74 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 1: that makes me think something else. Cheating and deceiving woman. 75 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 1: Just Steven Shechel. I've been married six years now. I 76 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: recently found out that my husband, who is of African descent, 77 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 1: had been lying to me all this time about his 78 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: ex and children to being out of the country. We 79 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: moved into a new home and also moved his x 80 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 1: and two children into a new home who's He signed 81 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 1: his name with her on the house, and she also 82 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 1: still carries his last name. He finally admitted to what 83 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 1: was going on after all these years, and said he 84 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: confessed because of reading a book, but I know it's 85 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 1: because of his conscious getting the best of him. He 86 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 1: tells me to leave his past alone and deal with 87 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: our future. I told him that his past is also 88 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,160 Speaker 1: part of his president future, and he had never even 89 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 1: turned his pass away. He said he did it because 90 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: his way was his way of taking care of his child. 91 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:24,680 Speaker 1: But like I told him, you could take care of 92 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 1: your child without having to take care of a woman. 93 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 1: How about child supportant visitation rightes. I know he's still 94 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,480 Speaker 1: seeing her because she doesn't have a man, and I 95 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,480 Speaker 1: know he will not approve of a man being with 96 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 1: her because he's paying the mortgage and the other bills. 97 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 1: He has deceive me and lied and committed adultery. I'm 98 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,040 Speaker 1: still here because this is my first marriage, and I 99 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,360 Speaker 1: thought in my last I'm trying to work it out. 100 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 1: He's very kind and takes care of home, but in 101 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 1: his mind he feels he's doing nothing wrong. We do 102 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,559 Speaker 1: not have any children together, but I have a twelve 103 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,040 Speaker 1: and fourteen year old at home. I also asked us 104 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 1: this woman know we are married. He says yes. I 105 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 1: asked as she working? He says yes. I don't believe 106 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: him because she is boss Wanna. She is from boss Bosnia. 107 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 1: She is from Bosnia, very white and not sure she 108 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,480 Speaker 1: speaks English. I also asked whom when I meet his children? 109 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 1: And he ignored the question. However, it doesn't matter to 110 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 1: me if I never meet them. I'm trying to salvage 111 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: this marriage, but I don't know how I can deal 112 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: with the deceit and lies. What's your advice? I know 113 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,279 Speaker 1: I have to leave, but what other alternatives do I have? Thanks? 114 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 1: Whole blessed? Yeah, that's parentheses, very white. Okay, here's a deal. 115 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: You say you're trying to salvage the marriage. One sentence 116 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,919 Speaker 1: later you say, I know I have to leave, but 117 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,720 Speaker 1: what other alternatives do I have? Well, you can try 118 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 1: to salvage your marriage, because what you're talking about in 119 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,479 Speaker 1: this letter, I'm gonna punch a couple of holes in it. 120 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 1: A little bit here from what I said. First of all, 121 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,040 Speaker 1: you felt important for us to know you've been married 122 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: six years now your husband is of African descent. I 123 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:51,479 Speaker 1: don't know why we needed that information, but obviously you 124 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: felt it was important to let us know that he 125 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: was African. I don't know if we're supposed to use 126 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:03,840 Speaker 1: Discovery Channel as a point of reference in this matter. 127 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: I don't know what you're trying to say, but you'll 128 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:09,919 Speaker 1: you'll let After that gets a little shaky, uh, he 129 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: admitted been lying about his ex and his kids being 130 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 1: out of the country. So now I'm thinking they were 131 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,039 Speaker 1: out of the country. But you're saying that actually in 132 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:20,240 Speaker 1: the country. You moved into a new home, and he 133 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,040 Speaker 1: also moved his ex and two children into a new home. 134 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 1: He signed his name with her on the house, and 135 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 1: she also still carries his last name. First of all, 136 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 1: it's a common thing for excess to still keep the name. 137 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:36,280 Speaker 1: That's very very common. Uh. Secondly, I don't know how 138 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 1: much money your man make, but I don't know too 139 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: many dudes African, Bosnian, Russian, Ugo, Slavia or American that 140 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 1: can go by two houses at the same time New Yorkers, Indians. 141 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 1: I don't know if Plus, I just don't see two 142 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,040 Speaker 1: dude buying two houses at one time. See, I think 143 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: this is information that you just found out about. I 144 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: think that in his divorcing of this woman, his ex, 145 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 1: I think that he married you. I think that's very 146 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 1: legitimate and legal. And I think you just found out 147 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,840 Speaker 1: about his ex is not being out the country, being 148 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 1: in the country. So now you put together a bunch 149 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 1: of other stuff that may not be the truth. Now 150 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 1: you're saying, um, he said he confessed to you all 151 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 1: of this because of a book he read, you say, 152 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 1: but you know it was because it's conscience got the 153 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,280 Speaker 1: best of them. Well, the book. He could have read 154 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: the Bible, the Bible. But wouldn't she have said the 155 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 1: Bible though, Steve wouldn't have said a book. He just 156 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: said the book wants a man. This is now. This 157 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 1: is a man telling this to a woman. You know, 158 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 1: we can't, we just can't give up all information. Now 159 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: we read a book, and I must tell you did through. 160 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 1: I must come to you now. I am saying, listen 161 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 1: to me. Listen to me. You shut out. Listen to me. 162 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 1: I am Maddie. I leave their wife, their children. I 163 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: come to you. I am treating you the new wife. 164 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 1: How many ways can they help? But what that ain't 165 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,600 Speaker 1: got nothing to do with the timing. But I think 166 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: when a man is talking to you in broken English, 167 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: I think it sounds like it's more of a live 168 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: You shut up me, two children be happy? You know, 169 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 1: I think that's what's happened. You know, we gotta get 170 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: out of here. Uh email us or Instagram as your 171 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 1: thoughts on today's Strawberry letter At my girls, Shirley, please 172 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,239 Speaker 1: don't forget me this Thursday at one thirty pm Eastern 173 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: Time for our Strawberry Letter Live after show on Facebook. Okay, 174 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:37,440 Speaker 1: it's one thirty pm Eastern Time. I'll see there.