WEBVTT - Just Jennie: Change Begins Inside

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Welcome

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<v Speaker 1>back to I Choose Me, the podcast about making choices,

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<v Speaker 1>specifically about choices that help us find our true selves.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you internalize self doubt as fact? Don't you feel

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<v Speaker 1>stuck but can't explain? Why do you stay in painful

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<v Speaker 1>but familiar patterns because change feels more dangerous? Are you

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<v Speaker 1>an overthinker or anxious planner? Well, you've come to the

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<v Speaker 1>right place. Summer is here again, the sun is out,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think it is a great time to shine

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<v Speaker 1>some of that light on something. I know we all

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<v Speaker 1>struggle with the limiting beliefs that are stopping us from

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<v Speaker 1>reaching our true potential, from becoming exactly who we are

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<v Speaker 1>meant to be. As someone told me, ever so gently,

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<v Speaker 1>it's time to get my shit together and make some

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<v Speaker 1>changes in my life. And I want that for you too.

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<v Speaker 1>I want you to get your shit together. And I

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<v Speaker 1>say that with all of no judge. Most of you

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<v Speaker 1>already know. I recently wrote a book, I Choose Me,

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<v Speaker 1>Chasing Joy, Finding Purpose, and Embracing reinvention. And I wrote

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<v Speaker 1>a chapter about how I found out that any change

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to see in my own life began with me.

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<v Speaker 1>The problem was that for a long time I focused

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<v Speaker 1>on wanting everybody else to change. But number one, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't have control over anyone else. And number two, even

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<v Speaker 1>if others in my life do change, who knows how

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<v Speaker 1>that's going to work out. For me, that realization that

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<v Speaker 1>it was time to stop pointing the finger and start

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<v Speaker 1>pulling the thumb. That change begins right here. So today

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to share my experience with you. This is

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<v Speaker 1>an excerpt of chapter four of my book, I Choose Me.

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<v Speaker 1>It's called you Guessed It. Change begins inside. Change doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>just happen because you want it. It happens when you're

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<v Speaker 1>willing to challenge everything you've believed about yourself and take

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<v Speaker 1>a step into the unknown. For me, that meant confronting

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<v Speaker 1>the stories I'd been telling myself for years, the whispers

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<v Speaker 1>that I wasn't good enough, that I didn't belong that

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<v Speaker 1>sooner or later everyone would see I was pretending to

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<v Speaker 1>have it all together. I believed those stories. I believed

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't strong enough to start over, that I couldn't

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<v Speaker 1>succeed something new, that my best years were behind me.

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<v Speaker 1>Those thoughts, though painful, became familiar. They felt safer than

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<v Speaker 1>the vulnerability of change. Limiting beliefs are like invisible handcuffs

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<v Speaker 1>keeping you stuck, holding you to where you are, chained

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<v Speaker 1>to your smallest self. They whisper you're not good enough,

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<v Speaker 1>you're not smart enough, you're not strong enough to handle this,

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<v Speaker 1>And if you listen to them long enough, they start

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<v Speaker 1>to sound like the truth. They become comfortable, almost protective

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<v Speaker 1>when internalized, though they restrict what you believe you're capable

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<v Speaker 1>of and keep you stuck in fear driven patterns. For years,

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<v Speaker 1>I told myself I wasn't qualified to try something new.

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<v Speaker 1>I convinced myself I wasn't creative or confident enough to

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<v Speaker 1>succeed outside of my acting. My identity was wrapped up

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<v Speaker 1>in being Jenny Gartha, actress. That was who people saw,

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<v Speaker 1>and eventually who I believed I was allowed to be.

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<v Speaker 1>Every new idea, home decorps, fashion books was met first

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<v Speaker 1>with the self doubt I used to tell myself I

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<v Speaker 1>couldn't do anything else, that stepping into a new space

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<v Speaker 1>was too risky. It wasn't just about my career. I

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<v Speaker 1>let every role in my life, young actress, wife, mother

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<v Speaker 1>defined me so completely that I couldn't imagine myself as

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<v Speaker 1>anything else. Being Jenny Gartha, actress came with a certain

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<v Speaker 1>set of expectations, to always look a certain way, to

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<v Speaker 1>be charming and confident, to stay relevant at home. Being

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<v Speaker 1>mom meant keeping everything together, showing up for my kids

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<v Speaker 1>no matter what, and often putting my own needs last.

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<v Speaker 1>Those roles gave me direction, but they also kept me stuck.

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<v Speaker 1>I clung to them because they felt safe, even when

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<v Speaker 1>they no longer fit. The danger in defining yourself only

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<v Speaker 1>by your roles is that it leaves no space for

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<v Speaker 1>the question who am I to me? I didn't stop

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<v Speaker 1>to ask myself what I really wanted or who I

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<v Speaker 1>was outside of those roles. For a long time, I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't know the answer. I was Kelly Taylor to the world,

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<v Speaker 1>mom to my girls, babe to my husband. And while

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<v Speaker 1>those identities held truth, they didn't capture the whole of me. Somewhere,

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<v Speaker 1>in the hustle to perform, to parent, to partner, I

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<v Speaker 1>lost sight of the parts of myself I actually loved,

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<v Speaker 1>the woman who finds healing in nature, who needs solitude,

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<v Speaker 1>who has ideas and opinions that don't hinge on anyone

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<v Speaker 1>else's approval. Letting go of old narratives wasn't easy, but

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<v Speaker 1>I realized that holding onto them kept me stuck in

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<v Speaker 1>fear and self doubt, chained to an outdated version of myself.

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<v Speaker 1>The key was learning to honor those roles without letting

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<v Speaker 1>them define or control me. Growth isn't about rejecting your past.

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<v Speaker 1>It's about building on it. Every role I'd played gave

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<v Speaker 1>me strength, resilience, and perspective. Those experiences weren't meant to

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<v Speaker 1>cage me, they were meant to equip me. The tricky

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<v Speaker 1>thing about limiting beliefs is that they often disguise themselves

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<v Speaker 1>as facts, when really they're just fear. I learned about

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<v Speaker 1>the acronym fear, which stands for false evidence appearing real.

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<v Speaker 1>Many of our fears aren't based on reality, but on

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<v Speaker 1>distorted perceptions, assumptions, or imagined threats. These kinds of fears

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<v Speaker 1>can arise when we feel vulnerable, or when we're afraid

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<v Speaker 1>of failure, rejection, or loss that convince us that staying

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<v Speaker 1>small is safer than stepping into something new. Recognizing that

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<v Speaker 1>fear often stems from false evidence, we can begin to

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<v Speaker 1>challenge these perceptions, leading to greater confidence my mom always

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<v Speaker 1>told me there was nothing I couldn't do or be.

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<v Speaker 1>I kept that mantra close to my heart, even though

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't really believe her until I did again and again.

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<v Speaker 1>I have proven to myself that I can take risks,

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<v Speaker 1>I can succeed at something new, and I know, without

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<v Speaker 1>a doubt in my mind, you can too. One of

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<v Speaker 1>the most transformative tools I've learned for breaking limiting beliefs

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<v Speaker 1>came from my friend, doctor Daniel Aman, the world renowned

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<v Speaker 1>psychiatrist and founder of the Aiman Clinics. Okay, I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>just take a little break from reading this excerpt from

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<v Speaker 1>my book to say that I was so honored to

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<v Speaker 1>have doctor Amen speak at the second annual Live I

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<v Speaker 1>Choose Me Women's empowerment summit that we had in April.

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<v Speaker 1>And if this story resonates with you, that conversation is

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<v Speaker 1>one you need to hear, and it's available wherever you've

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<v Speaker 1>listened to your I Choose Me podcasts. Okay, back to

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<v Speaker 1>chapter four. In twenty twenty, I sought doctor Amin out

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<v Speaker 1>to better understand my lifelong struggles with depression, anxiety, and

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<v Speaker 1>memory issues. I had been diagnosed with clinical depression at

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<v Speaker 1>age eighteen, and I've been under a doctor's care e person.

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<v Speaker 1>That was when I started on prozac for the first time.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been on some form of antidepressant meds for most

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<v Speaker 1>of my adult life. Medication and meditation have become a

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<v Speaker 1>part of my daily self care regime. My poor memory

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<v Speaker 1>is well known among my inner circle and often the

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<v Speaker 1>subject of lighthearted teasing when I can't remember a story

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<v Speaker 1>or a detail from years ago. It always bothered me

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<v Speaker 1>when friends would casually bring up specific stories from our

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<v Speaker 1>past and I'd have zero recollection. Fortunately, I can memorize

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<v Speaker 1>lines in a script and the details of my businesses,

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<v Speaker 1>but I can't recall a story from ten or twenty

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<v Speaker 1>years ago, or what I had for dinner last night.

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<v Speaker 1>I was getting more and more concerned that my poor

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<v Speaker 1>memory was a sign I might be heading towards something

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<v Speaker 1>really scary, like dementia or early onset Alzheimer's. My best

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<v Speaker 1>friend and had sent me a video of one of

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<v Speaker 1>doctor Amen's talks, and I was instantly drawn in. His

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<v Speaker 1>work is rooted in the idea that you can't fix

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<v Speaker 1>what you don't understand, and to truly understand the brain,

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<v Speaker 1>you have to look at it using a technology called

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<v Speaker 1>spect single photon emission computed tomography imaging. Doctor Amen and

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<v Speaker 1>his team can see patterns of blood flow and activity

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<v Speaker 1>in the brain, which can reveal areas that are overactive, underactive,

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<v Speaker 1>or out of balance. This visual insight helps move beyond

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<v Speaker 1>guesswork when it comes to diagnosing and treating mental health

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<v Speaker 1>conditions and even behavioral struggles. Rather than focusing solely on symptoms,

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<v Speaker 1>doctor Amen's method looks at the brain as a whole system,

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<v Speaker 1>one affected by trauma, toxins, nutrition, and lifestyle, and offers

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<v Speaker 1>personalized strategies to support healing and long term brain optimization.

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<v Speaker 1>His work reframes mental health as brain health, empowering people

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<v Speaker 1>with both understanding and hope. I reached out and offered

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<v Speaker 1>to collaborate with him on a new series he was

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<v Speaker 1>launching called Scan My Brain. I ended up being on

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<v Speaker 1>the very first episode. There have been many more since,

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<v Speaker 1>and the vulnerability and honesty of those willing to show

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<v Speaker 1>their brain scans publicly has helped so many people feel

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<v Speaker 1>seen and less alone in their mental health journeys. The

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<v Speaker 1>science itself was fascinating. Doctor Aman's core belief is that

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<v Speaker 1>it's not a good idea to prescribe powerful brain altering

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<v Speaker 1>medications without looking at the actual organ you're trying to treat.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, would a cardiologist prescribe serious heart medications without

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<v Speaker 1>first assessing the health of your heart muscle. Of course,

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<v Speaker 1>not yet, That's exactly what happens so often in psychiatry.

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<v Speaker 1>I underwent a spec scan of my brain with doctor Amen.

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<v Speaker 1>While the surface scan appeared generally healthy, there were some

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<v Speaker 1>key findings that explained so much about how I was feeling.

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<v Speaker 1>My frontal cortex was lit up, working overtime, essentially electrified.

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<v Speaker 1>There was hyperactivity in the basal ganglia, an area linked

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<v Speaker 1>to anxiety and emotional regulation, suggesting that my emotional response

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<v Speaker 1>system was stuck in overdrive. There was also a slightly

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<v Speaker 1>reduced blood flow near my hippocampus, the region critical for

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<v Speaker 1>memory formation. And significantly, the scan showed evidence of a

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<v Speaker 1>past brain injury. After examining me and reviewing my brain

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<v Speaker 1>scan results, he told me that a head injury at

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<v Speaker 1>any point in my life could have to do with

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<v Speaker 1>some of my memory loss and even additional anxiety I

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<v Speaker 1>was experiencing. I thought about it, and there were two

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<v Speaker 1>times that I could recall as major head related accidents.

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<v Speaker 1>The time Luke ran me over with a jet ski

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<v Speaker 1>in the Pacific Ocean while filming a scene together, and

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<v Speaker 1>the time a huge tripod mounted life fell directly on

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<v Speaker 1>my head and knocked me over on the set of

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<v Speaker 1>nine two one zero. Accidents happen on sets. There wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>any wrongdoing, but still maybe they'd had some effect on me.

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<v Speaker 1>That injury wasn't news to me, but seeing the damage

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<v Speaker 1>on the scan made it real in a whole new way.

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<v Speaker 1>Seeing the actual image of my brain lit up in

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<v Speaker 1>places it shouldn't have been quiet, in places I wished

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<v Speaker 1>were louder, was strangely liberating. It wasn't me being forgetful

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<v Speaker 1>or me being anxious for no reason. There were real

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<v Speaker 1>physical reasons for what I was experiencing. Doctor Amin explained

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<v Speaker 1>that traumatic brain injuries can disrupt neural pathways, leading to

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<v Speaker 1>symptoms like memory loss, mood changes, anxiety, and depression. Sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>even years after the original injury, I could separate who

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<v Speaker 1>I am from what I'd been through. It broke a

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<v Speaker 1>major limiting belief that I was less than because my

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<v Speaker 1>mind didn't work like everyone else's. Instead of beating myself up,

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<v Speaker 1>I've learned to work with my brain to honor what

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<v Speaker 1>it has been through. Doctor Amin also gave me a

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<v Speaker 1>powerful question to counter limiting thoughts. Is that true? Is

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<v Speaker 1>that absolutely positively true? It sounds so simple, but asking

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<v Speaker 1>myself that question has stopped me in my tracks more

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<v Speaker 1>times than I can count. When my mind whispers you

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<v Speaker 1>can't do this or you're going to fail, I pause

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<v Speaker 1>and ask, wait, is that actually true? Most of the

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<v Speaker 1>time it isn't. The thought is fear, not fact. And

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<v Speaker 1>when I followed up with what would my world look

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<v Speaker 1>like if I believed I could do it? I open

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<v Speaker 1>myself to possibility instead of spiraling in doubt. It forces

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<v Speaker 1>me to imagine what's possible. What if I trusted myself

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<v Speaker 1>to succeed? What if I believed I was strong enough,

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<v Speaker 1>smart enough, capable enough to make it happen. When I

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<v Speaker 1>started my podcast, those limiting beliefs were loud. You're not

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<v Speaker 1>a solo podcaster, you're not good enough, no one will listen.

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<v Speaker 1>Even though I had been co hosting the nine Out

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<v Speaker 1>two one OMG podcast for a couple of years, this

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<v Speaker 1>felt very differ because it was so personal and because

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<v Speaker 1>I was doing it on my own. But when I

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<v Speaker 1>ask myself if those thoughts were really true, I couldn't

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<v Speaker 1>find any proof, and when I imagined what my world

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<v Speaker 1>would look like if I believed in myself, I saw

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<v Speaker 1>a whole new version of me, one who was brave

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<v Speaker 1>enough to try. This exercise, adapted from Byron Katie's Mythology,

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<v Speaker 1>is one of the most powerful ways I know to

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<v Speaker 1>dismantle limiting beliefs. By questioning your thoughts, you strip them

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<v Speaker 1>of their power. Left unchallenged, they grow challenged, they dissolve.

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<v Speaker 1>Try it for yourself. Start by writing down the negative

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<v Speaker 1>or limiting belief you're experiencing. Then walk yourself through these questions.

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<v Speaker 1>Is it true? Can I know for sure it's absolutely true?

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<v Speaker 1>How do I feel when I believe this thought? How

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<v Speaker 1>would I feel if I didn't have this thought? How

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<v Speaker 1>can I turn the thought around and see if the

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<v Speaker 1>opposite is actually more true. Here's an example of how

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<v Speaker 1>this worked for me. My limiting belief was no one

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<v Speaker 1>will be interested in coming to my live event. So

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<v Speaker 1>I ask myself the five questions. Is it true? Well, honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. Is it absolutely true? Absolutely no, I

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<v Speaker 1>can't say it's absolutely one hundred percent true. How do

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<v Speaker 1>I feel when I believe this thought, I feel bad

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<v Speaker 1>about myself. I feel like I shouldn't even try to

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<v Speaker 1>do new things. How would I feel if I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>have this thought? I guess I would feel free from

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<v Speaker 1>doubting myself, like I can try new things. How can

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<v Speaker 1>I turn the thought around the right? People are going

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<v Speaker 1>to be so excited to come to the Eye Choose

0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:07.080
<v Speaker 1>Me summit, and I really am looking forward to it.

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<v Speaker 1>Walking through those questions showed me how much power I

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<v Speaker 1>was giving to a thought that wasn't even true. By

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<v Speaker 1>challenging it, I shifted from doubt to possibility. That's the

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<v Speaker 1>gift of this practice. You don't have to erase every

0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:30.320
<v Speaker 1>limiting belief. You just have to question it enough to

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<v Speaker 1>loosen its grip, and when you do, you create space

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<v Speaker 1>for a new, more empowering story to take its place.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not always easy. Stepping into change requires courage, but

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<v Speaker 1>when you believe that you're capable of change, you unlock

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<v Speaker 1>potential that's been waiting inside you all along. You stop

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<v Speaker 1>telling yourself this is how I am, and start asking

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<v Speaker 1>instead who do I want to be today? I will

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<v Speaker 1>always be the little girl with the blonde pig dells

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<v Speaker 1>from Illinois, the one I picture wandering the fields around

0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:12.320
<v Speaker 1>my childhood home, searching for ears of corn left behind.

0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:16.400
<v Speaker 1>I think about her, and I tell her I love her.

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<v Speaker 1>Everything that I'm doing now to take care of myself

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<v Speaker 1>is for her, because she deserves to feel safe, strong,

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<v Speaker 1>and deeply loved, and so does the fifty four year

0:19:29.680 --> 0:19:34.679
<v Speaker 1>old version of her. Well that's it. I hope you

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<v Speaker 1>enjoy that portion of chapter four of my book, I

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<v Speaker 1>Choose Me. I want you to remember something. You are

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<v Speaker 1>not alone, and yeah, change begins on the inside, so

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<v Speaker 1>you've got to be brave. I hope you feel seen

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<v Speaker 1>and walked with on this journey to becoming. If you

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<v Speaker 1>need more tools, please reach out for help or continue

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<v Speaker 1>reading my book. I read the audiobook so it will

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<v Speaker 1>be like we're working on this side by side. Please

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<v Speaker 1>know that there is hope, There is hope, and we're

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<v Speaker 1>in this together. That part is true, absolutely true. Until

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<v Speaker 1>next time. I love you, guys,