1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:03,720 Speaker 1: It is time for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:08,240 Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please 3 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:11,840 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVEFM dot com by 4 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: clicking submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,800 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read 6 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know, 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,440 Speaker 1: it could be yours. 8 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,920 Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight. 9 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 2: We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter. 10 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subject he needs to freshen up everything. 11 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,880 Speaker 1: Dear Uncle Steve and Aunt Shirley. I'm twenty eight years 12 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 1: old and dating a man that is five years older 13 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,840 Speaker 1: than I am. We've been together for eight months and 14 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 1: he's someone I can see myself settling down with. He 15 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: doesn't have any children, so that's a plus for me. 16 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 1: The only issue we have is that he has sex 17 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 1: with other ladies. He told me that even though he 18 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,040 Speaker 1: has sex with other women, I'm the only one he 19 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 1: spends his time and money. He said, he doesn't want 20 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,319 Speaker 1: to cheat on me, so he's just getting some things 21 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: out of the way before he settles down. We talk 22 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: about marriage and having children together, and he wants to 23 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 1: be married before he's forty. I need to know if 24 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 1: I should give the relationship more time or if I'm 25 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 1: wasting my time. See, I've stayed at his house and 26 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: I can tell another female has been in his bed. 27 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,399 Speaker 1: I can tell a female has been wrapped up in 28 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: the blanket on his couch. I have even seen dirty 29 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 1: towels with makeup on them. I have told him that 30 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,360 Speaker 1: he should freshen up before I come over, but I 31 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 1: guess he doesn't have the time. He acts like it's 32 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 1: no big deal, but it does matter to me. I 33 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,480 Speaker 1: feel like I don't have a choice but to share 34 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,480 Speaker 1: him with other women. But it makes me feel dirty 35 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 1: because an older lady told me about soul ties and 36 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:54,040 Speaker 1: supposedly every time I sleep with him, I get tied 37 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,840 Speaker 1: to the souls of all the women he slept with, 38 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: or something like that. I want to be in a 39 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 1: monion's relationship, and I do not plan to share him forever. 40 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 1: He gave me the key and the code to his alarm. 41 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: So what's really going on with him? Is he serious 42 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 1: about me? Come on, now, some of this stuff you 43 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:20,080 Speaker 1: know isn't right. Okay, he's seeing other women for starters? 44 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: You say, the only issue that you have with him 45 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 1: is that he has sex with other ladies. What this 46 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 1: is a major major issue because it's not what you 47 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 1: want and you're not happy. Why are you even considering 48 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,840 Speaker 1: being with this man? I mean, you're twenty eight. You 49 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,240 Speaker 1: say he's five years older than you. So he's thirty three, 50 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,680 Speaker 1: and he wants to get married before he's forty. So 51 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 1: between now right now today and forty years old some 52 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:49,240 Speaker 1: time in between there he'll still be with you. But 53 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: sleeping around with other women, I mean, makes this make 54 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,079 Speaker 1: sense because he said he wants to get it all 55 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: out before he settles down. No, you don't have to 56 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 1: read with any of this. The soul ties all that. 57 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: I don't know anything about that, But you don't have 58 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 1: to deal with this. You do have a choice in 59 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 1: this matter. If you don't want to share him, tell 60 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,639 Speaker 1: him that and get out. You said you want to 61 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 1: be in a monogamous relationship. Well this is not what 62 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 1: you're in. Plus his house is dirty and nasty. 63 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 2: Ew Steve, all right, all right, they listen to me again. 64 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 2: Here is the new norm that we are being forced 65 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 2: to accept with our line of thinking. That makes sense 66 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 2: for us to give you some foundation. You're twenty eight, 67 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 2: you're dating a man that's five years old, and you 68 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 2: that's thirty three. Y'all been together eight months, and he's 69 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 2: someone I could see myself settling down with. Now, this 70 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 2: statement right here, this is someone I could see myself 71 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 2: settling down with. I'm gonna read the letter back to you. 72 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 2: I don't want you to tell me how how you 73 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 2: see something here, because I'm struggling. I'm struggling for you. 74 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 2: You can see yourself selling down with him. He don't 75 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 2: have any children, so that's a plus for me. Okay. 76 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:20,480 Speaker 2: The only issue, y'all listening, The only issue is that 77 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 2: he has sex with other ladies. I beat, damn, only 78 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 2: I be damn. That's the only issue, you know. The 79 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 2: only issue is he ain't worth it. The only issue 80 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 2: is he domestice is credit up. The only issue is 81 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 2: he just got a divorce. The only issue is he 82 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:47,160 Speaker 2: doesn't have a real solid plan. He told me that 83 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 2: even though he has sex with other women, I'm the 84 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,679 Speaker 2: only one he spends his time and money on. Little girl, 85 00:04:55,160 --> 00:05:02,480 Speaker 2: listen to me. All sex costs time and money, all 86 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,839 Speaker 2: of it. Even though he has sex with other women, 87 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,599 Speaker 2: I'm the only one he spends his time and money on. 88 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 2: He gotta be all one of them to have sex. 89 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: One more time. 90 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 2: He told me that, even though he has sex with 91 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,920 Speaker 2: other women, I'm the only one he spends his time 92 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 2: and money on. To have sex. He got to be 93 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 2: on one of them other women. Okay, And to get 94 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:39,719 Speaker 2: on a woman, it's gonna take some time, you sir, 95 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:48,200 Speaker 2: and some money. Ain't no sex free. So now that's 96 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 2: not a true statement. He said, he doesn't want to 97 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:54,280 Speaker 2: cheat on me, so he's just getting some things out 98 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,240 Speaker 2: the way before he settled down. He don't want to 99 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:56,960 Speaker 2: cheat on you. 100 00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: What do you think he's doing? 101 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 2: What? I don't understand. What is this that you see 102 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 2: in settling down with He told me he don't want 103 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 2: to cheat on you, but he doing it anyway. He 104 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,719 Speaker 2: just ain't got your stupid behind to think that if 105 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 2: I tell you I'm seeing these people, it ain't cheating. Well, 106 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 2: then it's not because you are complicit. You are having 107 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 2: a consensual sexual relationship with a man that's involved with 108 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:33,919 Speaker 2: other women, and you okay with that. Well, if you 109 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 2: okay with it, he real good with it. Man. 110 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,359 Speaker 1: All Right, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of 111 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after today's 112 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:49,720 Speaker 1: Strawberry letter, subject he needs to freshen up everything. We'll 113 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:54,359 Speaker 1: get back into it right after this. You're listening Morning show, 114 00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. 115 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,480 Speaker 1: The subject he needs to freshen up every thing. 116 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 2: Dear uncle Steven, un Shirley. I'm twenty eight. I'm dating 117 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,920 Speaker 2: a man five years old than me. He thirty three. 118 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,719 Speaker 2: We've been together eight months and you can see yourself 119 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 2: settling down with him. He don't have no children. That's 120 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 2: a plus. The only issue, and he'll go to, issue 121 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 2: we have, is that he has sex with other ladies. 122 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 2: That's not an issue, like I told you. An issue 123 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 2: is he lost his job. An issue is his card 124 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 2: broke down. His issue is he messed his credit up. 125 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:31,200 Speaker 2: His issue is he was recently divorced. Them is issues. 126 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 2: He done brought a whole nother lifestyle in here to you, 127 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 2: and you'd a bit long with it. He told me 128 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 2: that even though he has sex with other women, I'm 129 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 2: the only one he spends his time and money on. 130 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 2: How can that be true? It takes time and money 131 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 2: to have sex, that's a fact. He says, he don't 132 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 2: want to cheat on me, so he's getting some things 133 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 2: out the way before he settles down. Before he settled down. 134 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 2: When the man told you he want to be married 135 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 2: by the time he fought it, that's seven years. That's 136 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 2: a lot of time to swing and slang. Lady, we 137 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 2: talked about marriage and having children together, and he wants 138 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:11,120 Speaker 2: to be married before he forty. Did you hear what 139 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 2: he just told you? I want to be married before 140 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,440 Speaker 2: I'm forty. He done created a seven year window that 141 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 2: he can play with you. Keep you on the strain, 142 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 2: waiting on forty. I need to know if I should 143 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 2: give the relationship more time, if I'm wasting your time, 144 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 2: or if I'm wasting my time. Okay, but let me 145 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 2: read a little bit more fake. See, I've stayed at 146 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,120 Speaker 2: his house and I can tell another female has been 147 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 2: in his bed. You ain't got to tell, he told you. Wow, 148 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,679 Speaker 2: you ain't got to tell. He ain't. I could tell 149 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 2: the females been wrapped up in the blanket on his couch. Okay, 150 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 2: he ain't even move a blanket. I've seen dirty times 151 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 2: with makeup on him. He ain't even putting them in 152 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,959 Speaker 2: the Washington shit. I have told him that he should 153 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 2: freshen up before I come over, but I guess he 154 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 2: don't have the time. No, lady, it ain't the time. 155 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 2: He don't care. He'd have told you what he doing. 156 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 2: And you have complied and are complicit with it. You 157 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:12,360 Speaker 2: are what's called an accessory, an accomplice. There's a crime 158 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:17,280 Speaker 2: being committed, and you're an accessory and accomplished to the crime, 159 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 2: and you okay with it. You see the evidence, the 160 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:25,199 Speaker 2: blanket on the couch, the makeup on the tiels that 161 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 2: had any earrings, in the bed, and you crawling your 162 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 2: stupid self up in there, thinking you won't spend your 163 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 2: life with this man. He acts like it's no big deal, 164 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 2: but it does matter to me, and he don't give 165 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:41,200 Speaker 2: a damn. I feel like I don't have a choice 166 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 2: but to share him. What What What made you say that? 167 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,840 Speaker 2: What made you say you feel like you don't have 168 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:52,560 Speaker 2: a choice. You can stop this right away if you 169 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 2: get off being stuck on stupid. You have nothing, Nothing 170 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,920 Speaker 2: belongs to you. He's giving you nothing. He's given you 171 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 2: no commitment, he's given you no promises. Y'all having false talks. 172 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:12,560 Speaker 2: I won't get married by time. I'm forty thirty three, 173 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 2: wow the other women. But it makes me feel dirty 174 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 2: because here we go and older woman told me about 175 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 2: soul tithes and supposedly every time I sleep with him, 176 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 2: I get tied to the souls of all the women 177 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 2: he slept with or something like that. Where you get 178 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:34,959 Speaker 2: this ignorant ass voody from what isnbody? God? This is 179 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,120 Speaker 2: the only thing you know this show? Takeaway some old 180 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,599 Speaker 2: ass woman that told you you having soul ties, that 181 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,719 Speaker 2: every time you sleep with the woman you tied to 182 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,960 Speaker 2: the souls in these other worlds? What raggedy ass voodoo 183 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 2: mess is this? This Mississippi Louise Ina caging hill billy 184 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 2: ass mess. Lady girl, All bye. I want to be 185 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 2: in a monogamous relationship, but you not. In order to 186 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,559 Speaker 2: be in a monogamous relationship, you have to be in 187 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,199 Speaker 2: a man that's willing to be monogamous you and a 188 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,679 Speaker 2: man who's telling you he's cheating. He gave me and 189 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 2: a key and a cold to his alarm, so what's 190 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,439 Speaker 2: really going on with him? Is he serious about me? 191 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:22,800 Speaker 2: He gave you the key and the cold to his alarm, 192 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,199 Speaker 2: so he ain't got to go down there and open 193 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 2: the door when you come in. That's all that is 194 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,760 Speaker 2: he gave you, gave you the key and the cold, 195 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:34,400 Speaker 2: so he ain't got to go down there. But you 196 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,679 Speaker 2: can't go over there when you want to. Now you 197 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,439 Speaker 2: got to call for you come back. I promise you. 198 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 2: Just when you come by, let me know you're coming, 199 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 2: and then he'll tell you whether to come or not. 200 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 2: And then when you do come, you got the key 201 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 2: in the cold because he ain't going down and letting 202 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 2: you in. Now, let me ask you something else. Here's 203 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 2: your other problem. I feel like I have no choice, 204 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 2: but it makes me feel dirty. Suppose every time I 205 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 2: sleep in the one that said now, listen to me. 206 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 2: This is all the stuff he's told you. But what 207 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 2: you need to be concerned about is what is he 208 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:08,839 Speaker 2: telling these other women? Because I bet you he has 209 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,719 Speaker 2: said this several times before and his work, and that's 210 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,920 Speaker 2: why he doing it. He'd have told somebody else got 211 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 2: a key in a cold too, somebody else have been 212 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,400 Speaker 2: on the couch watching movies, somebody else been in the bed, 213 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 2: and somebody else using a towel. Little girl, if you 214 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,880 Speaker 2: don't get away from this, you gonna get hurt. You 215 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 2: gonna get hurt. Get out because this man, he's doing 216 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,959 Speaker 2: nothing for you except using you, and I promise you, 217 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,559 Speaker 2: he's doing this to several other women, and he got 218 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,839 Speaker 2: you hanging on a hope that he gonna get married 219 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 2: by the time he forty, he thirty three, that's the 220 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:51,319 Speaker 2: seven years. Are you kidding me? Sweetheart? Do yourself for favor, 221 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 2: find yourself something else to do, because your hope is 222 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,719 Speaker 2: to be in a monogamous relationship, and that ain't his. 223 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: All right, leave us your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter 224 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 1: on Instagram and FM, and check us out on the 225 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on the front of radio app We're free. 226 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 1: Never sounded so good. Coming up next, we got Junior 227 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:20,400 Speaker 1: and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to Harvey 228 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,040 Speaker 1: Morning Show.