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Speaker 1: This is the Fread Show.

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Speaker 2: Let's get you Hotel a trip for Tunisie Jennifer Lopez

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Speaker 2: her brand new Las Vegas residency. Jennifer Lopez off All

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Speaker 2: Night Live in Las Vegas March thirteenth, twenty twenty six

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Speaker 2: win two tickets to the March thirteenth show at two

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Speaker 2: night hotels day March twelfth through the fourteenth at the

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Speaker 2: Flamingo Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas and Roun Trevert Fair.

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Speaker 2: A confirmation text to be sent Dannard Message and data

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Speaker 2: rates may apply.

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Speaker 1: All thanks to Live Nation.

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Speaker 2: Tickets are on sale now at ticketmaster dot com for

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Speaker 2: all shows running December thirtieth through January third, and March

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Speaker 2: sixth through the twenty eighth.

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Speaker 1: They talk better than they say you tell me.

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Speaker 2: These are the radio blogs on The Fread Show Life

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Speaker 2: for running in our diaries, except we say them a

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Speaker 2: loud We call them blogs ki ki.

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Speaker 3: Yo go all right, dear blog, you know parents, I

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Speaker 3: just want to extend my gratitude, appreciation and sympathy for you,

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Speaker 3: because what I've learned is having children is a constant

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Speaker 3: life of negotiation with a child, Like my nephew is this.

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Speaker 3: He is a negotiator, And I'm like, how does this

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Speaker 3: work as a parent, because for me, there's no I'm

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Speaker 3: not negotiating with you. It is like either you're gonna

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Speaker 3: do it or you're not. And so I get this

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Speaker 3: text yesterday And he does this often whenever he wants something.

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Speaker 3: He goes, hey, auntie, if my grades are good, can

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Speaker 3: I have X, Y, and Z. And I get stuck

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Speaker 3: on the part of if my grades are like, that

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Speaker 3: is your responsibility in life?

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Speaker 2: Like, that's not really a choice, Like you don't have

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Speaker 2: the choice to get bad grade.

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Speaker 3: Right, And I'm like, what has made you think that

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Speaker 3: you can negotiate doing your responsibility in life?

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Speaker 1: Like, this is not how this works.

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Speaker 3: No, you deliver good grades and then I decide if

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Speaker 3: I want to reward you for that. It's not a

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Speaker 3: if you do, then I do. And he loves to negotiate.

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Speaker 3: And I've seen other parents do this, even with the

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Speaker 3: like if you be good in this store, I'll get

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Speaker 3: you a toy. If you behave that, this doctor's appointment

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Speaker 3: will go. And my parents did it too, We'll go

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Speaker 3: get McDonald's.

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Speaker 1: We'll go get Like what.

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Speaker 2: I want to know, By the way, how do you

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Speaker 2: find yourself negotiating with your kid? If this resonates with you,

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Speaker 2: five three five, because we have some time, I'd love

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Speaker 2: to hear this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I think you're right. Yeah, Like I don't

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Speaker 1: why are we doing this?

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Speaker 3: And probably I don't know if you've come to this

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Speaker 3: point with Gigi it, but like do you have to

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Speaker 3: negotiate with her or make a promise?

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Speaker 4: Like so she's what one and a half almost like

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Speaker 4: we're not really very yet because she can't really respond

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Speaker 4: to me or give me her demands.

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Speaker 1: Although she kind does well, she can tell you no right.

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Speaker 3: Oh.

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Speaker 1: She loves the word no, like it's her favorite word

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Speaker 1: in the world.

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Speaker 4: But I have to either redirect with her or like

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Speaker 4: negotiate something different. If it's like bedtime, we're gonna take

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Speaker 4: away the toy or turn the TV off. If there's

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Speaker 4: a meltdown that comes with it, I gotta be like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna give your pacifier, you know. So it's like

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Speaker 4: I'm negotiating to I guess, and it's not the greatest

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Speaker 4: thing because I feel like she should just do as

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Speaker 4: I said, because I'm her mother and preparing, but I'm

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Speaker 4: scared me she gets older, it's gonna be a lot

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Speaker 4: of like, you know, if I do this, can I

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Speaker 4: do that? It's like no, right, no, if I clean

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Speaker 4: my room, my mother did this to me. She was

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Speaker 4: I wanted a fingernail extensions at like you know eight.

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Speaker 1: She was shocking.

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Speaker 3: I know she already had a wig, right, So it

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Speaker 3: was when I laughed and makeup. But no, she goes,

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Speaker 3: if you clean out your room and clean your closet

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Speaker 3: top to bottom, you can go get your nails done.

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Speaker 3: She promised me that when I tell you guys, I

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Speaker 3: clean that that room from top to bottom. And she thought,

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Speaker 3: because she this is all happening on a Sunday, that

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Speaker 3: the nail salon was closed. So that was her plan.

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Speaker 3: And she's like, okay, I'm let her cleaning up and

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Speaker 3: then I'm gonna tell you the nail.

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Speaker 1: Saloon was open.

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Speaker 3: And so yeah, she did not keep her part of

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Speaker 3: the negotiation, and I had a complete meltdown. So it's

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Speaker 3: like we got to stop this negotiation thing, like just

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Speaker 3: do what you're supposed to do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the text one thousand per parenting, it's all about

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Speaker 2: bribing your kids, and then someone else texted, that's what

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Speaker 2: doctors tell us to do if then statements.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, kail oh, I was just gonna ask Paulina. Don't

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Speaker 1: you ask gig sometimes? Like do you want to go

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Speaker 1: with me here? Even though like there's no option?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, you want to want to target?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Surely know where the hell target is? She'll say no,

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Speaker 1: and You're like, well you're still going right, Like We're

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Speaker 1: just like, yeah, do you want to go here?

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Speaker 4: No? But the thing is I'm trying to also test

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Speaker 4: her to see do you even know what I'm saying?

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Speaker 4: Like do you know what target is? Because I'm curious

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Speaker 4: she knows. I'm curious if she's like getting what I'm

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Speaker 4: putting down here, Like do you know where we're going?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I know. My parents were always super generous, but but

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Speaker 2: there were there were times when they would negotiate with me.

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Speaker 2: I mean the school, I was expected that was my job.

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Speaker 2: They always just say that growing up, like that's you.

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Speaker 2: My job is to go to work and make money

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Speaker 2: to pay for the food and the house and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Your job just go to school and I and then

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Speaker 2: I remember my dad used to say, I wish that

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Speaker 2: were my I wish my job. We're going to school

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Speaker 2: every day. I feel and I'm like, you're you're a moron.

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Speaker 1: Dad.

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Speaker 2: I never said that to a face, but I thought that.

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Speaker 2: But now I wish my job were to go to school.

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Speaker 2: If somebody would pay amy when I make to do this,

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Speaker 2: to go to school every day and just learn and

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Speaker 2: just get all these degrees, I would do it if

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Speaker 2: that were my job. And he used to say that

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Speaker 2: someday you're gonna wish, and I'm like, you're an idiot

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Speaker 2: in my head. Never do his face because he'd slapped

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Speaker 2: me across his face. But uh, but they but but

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Speaker 2: I was afraid of the doctor, right. I had meningiitis

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Speaker 2: when I was a little kid, and I was in

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Speaker 2: the hospital for three or four weeks, and I hated it.

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Speaker 1: Of you know, three I'm conditioned. I hate the doctor.

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Speaker 2: So they would bribe me to go to the doctor,

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Speaker 2: like if you go to the doctor and get your shot,

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Speaker 2: we'll go to the toy store or something like the

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Speaker 2: traumatic things or like really high level things that were complicated.

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Speaker 2: You know, my parents got divorced. Here, here's a hamster,

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Speaker 2: you know, here, here's here's guilt gifts, you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean, like, oh, you wanted the new video game, Fine,

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Speaker 2: you can have it because you're you know, your father's

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Speaker 2: a jackass or whatever it is. But but no, and

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Speaker 2: then and then there was an allowance situation where it

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Speaker 2: was like you, you know, you have to the famous

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Speaker 2: mowing the lawn thing that apparently never happened in my house,

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Speaker 2: but it did. It was hey, But but that was

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Speaker 2: more of like a spending responsibility thing. That was more like,

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Speaker 2: here's a couple easy things that you have to do.

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Speaker 2: We'll give the money for it, and then you could

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Speaker 2: spend the money now, or you could save it up

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Speaker 2: and spend it on something.

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Speaker 1: But that was I think more about budgeting.

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Speaker 2: I think that was less about bribing me to do

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Speaker 2: stuff because they were overpaying me for the crappy work

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Speaker 2: I was doing and I'm a sucker.

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Speaker 3: So every time we negotiate, he actually gets it, but

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Speaker 3: it's just like why are we doing this?

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Speaker 2: Well, that's the problem is it's learned behavior, right, so

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Speaker 2: like you do it, you do it for him once

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Speaker 2: and then every semester it's going to be good grades

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Speaker 2: and this. But then you have to ask yourself, like Okay,

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Speaker 2: you shouldn't have to do that, but is the investment

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Speaker 2: worth the result?

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Speaker 1: Like what is he asking for?

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Speaker 5: Now?

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Speaker 2: You're you've got some bougie as these nephews rather so

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Speaker 2: they're asking for Gucci and pradat. But you know, if

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Speaker 2: the guy wants a video game for a semester worth

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Speaker 2: of a's like that sounds like a pretty good deal

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Speaker 2: if that's the motivator. But if he wants you know,

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Speaker 2: Gucci slides because he went to pe class, then it's

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Speaker 2: like no, no think So hey Britney, Hi, Hi, So

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Speaker 2: you think this is a good idea or a bad idea.

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Speaker 2: You're a teacher and this negotiating stuff with kids, right, I.

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Speaker 5: Wouldn't call it so much negotiating, but it's more of like,

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Speaker 5: if you do this, then this will happen. So I

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Speaker 5: teach it in my classroom as like executive functioning skills.

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Speaker 5: And some kids, you know, especially as a really young

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Speaker 5: age I'm fifth grade, they they don't know what's going

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Speaker 5: to happen next. So like if I don't know at home,

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Speaker 5: like if you do your homework, then you can stay

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Speaker 5: up for five more minutes, but not every day or

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Speaker 5: then you get your TV time.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that okay, So so it is it is kind

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Speaker 2: of negotiating, but it doesn't have necessarily be material material related,

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Speaker 2: like you don't have to buy them things, pay them.

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Speaker 1: Money, right right, Like how you guys are saying, like.

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Speaker 2: So it's about choices and choices because my sister's big

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Speaker 2: on a therapist. God God saved my nieces. You know,

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Speaker 2: everything is a and you know this because you're the

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Speaker 2: you're the daughter of a therapist. Came but it's like

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Speaker 2: everything is you can choose to do this or you

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Speaker 2: can choose to do that. And she says it like

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Speaker 2: that too, and then Paul you look at her and

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Speaker 2: be okay, you know, but like you're choosing this, you're

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Speaker 2: choosing this path, Polly.

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Speaker 3: That's valuable information.

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Speaker 1: Though I don't know something. I'm on the couch. We

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Speaker 1: make choices every day.

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Speaker 2: But Brittany's kind of the same thing, right, You're you're

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Speaker 2: sort of laying out like here's here's one path and

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Speaker 2: here's the other.

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Speaker 1: What are you gonna do?

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Speaker 5: Right?

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Speaker 1: Because kids like that choice too.

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Speaker 5: They like like quote unquote being in charge, although you're

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Speaker 5: kind of like limiting act.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I got it, thank you, Brittany, have a good day. Thanks.

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Speaker 2: I was negotiating with my trainer yesterday on the lakefront.

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Speaker 2: If I run a little faster, do I not have

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Speaker 2: to run as far? And he said, shut the hell up.

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Speaker 2: More freadshell next