1
00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,480
Speaker 1: First Date follow up. AJ is on the phone for

2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,280
Speaker 1: a first day follow up and he's been getting ghosted

3
00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:07,840
Speaker 1: by a woman named Malia for two weeks now, and

4
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,960
Speaker 1: he's not sure what he did wrong. So we're about

5
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,360
Speaker 1: to find out. But first, AJ, tell us about your

6
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:13,280
Speaker 1: date with Malia.

7
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was great.

8
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:19,960
Speaker 3: We went to a jazz club downtown and it was

9
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:23,080
Speaker 3: it was such a great vibe. I mean, it's been

10
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,800
Speaker 3: lighting and there was a lot of saxophone and martinis

11
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:30,280
Speaker 3: and who I mean, the whole night just just felt easy,

12
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,840
Speaker 3: you know, like we were small across the table, leaning

13
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,199
Speaker 3: and close so we could hear each other between the songs.

14
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:43,160
Speaker 3: I I liked her a lie and and yeah, I've

15
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,280
Speaker 3: tried to get ahold of her a few times and nothing.

16
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:49,080
Speaker 1: Okay, is there anything you can think of that might

17
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,200
Speaker 1: be the reason you're getting ghosted?

18
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:52,400
Speaker 4: Yeah?

19
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,760
Speaker 2: I pretty much spit a martini in her face.

20
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,360
Speaker 5: What are you what on purpose?

21
00:00:59,600 --> 00:00:59,800
Speaker 2: No.

22
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:03,880
Speaker 3: At one point in the date, I was drinking the

23
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,720
Speaker 3: martini and I noticed that some of her hair got it,

24
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,960
Speaker 3: and I just reacted and I kind of spit it out.

25
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,399
Speaker 3: But I noticed a lot of it got on her,

26
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,039
Speaker 3: So I, okay, I.

27
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,360
Speaker 2: Told her that there was hair in it, and she

28
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:23,280
Speaker 2: seemed like she understood, but she probably just got grossed

29
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:25,560
Speaker 2: out by I spit my drink on her.

30
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,759
Speaker 4: A lot of question that moment, but.

31
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:33,039
Speaker 3: Yeah, we ended the date with a kiss, and she

32
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,720
Speaker 3: says she wanted to see me again. But I haven't

33
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,520
Speaker 3: heard from her, and it's really messing me up, you know.

34
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,920
Speaker 1: All right, AJ, why don't you catch us up on

35
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:42,119
Speaker 1: your situation again real quick?

36
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,080
Speaker 2: Yeah? Sure.

37
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,320
Speaker 3: I had a great time with her at a jazz

38
00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:48,160
Speaker 3: club downtown.

39
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:54,040
Speaker 2: She's beautiful, smart, funny. At some point I want to

40
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,559
Speaker 2: take a drink with the martini and.

41
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,200
Speaker 4: Had her hair in it.

42
00:01:58,560 --> 00:01:59,920
Speaker 2: I reacted, spit it.

43
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:03,880
Speaker 3: Out out locally, got on her and I had no idea,

44
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,240
Speaker 3: but seemed to be okay.

45
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,320
Speaker 1: All right, are you thinking that was that it could

46
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,480
Speaker 1: be the reaction that you had to accidentally drink. It

47
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,400
Speaker 1: was like automatically spin it out?

48
00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:15,000
Speaker 2: All right?

49
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:16,640
Speaker 1: Well, are you ready for us to call her?

50
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,600
Speaker 2: Yes? Okay, I am ready.

51
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:20,359
Speaker 1: Here we go.

52
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:25,760
Speaker 5: Hello, you've reached Maliah.

53
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,639
Speaker 1: Hey Malia, how are you. This is a radio show.

54
00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:30,880
Speaker 1: It's called the Jubil Show. Hi Maliah, I'm Nina. Hi,

55
00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:32,920
Speaker 1: I'm Victorian and my name is jubil. How you doing,

56
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:35,600
Speaker 1: I'm okay?

57
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,320
Speaker 5: Are you? Are you calling me live? Am I on

58
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,240
Speaker 5: the radio right now?

59
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:39,640
Speaker 2: Yes?

60
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,160
Speaker 4: It's okay though Safe Space.

61
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:44,160
Speaker 1: Have you ever heard of the show before?

62
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:49,960
Speaker 5: I've heard of it. I've I've obviously never been on

63
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:50,919
Speaker 5: the radio before.

64
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:56,320
Speaker 1: We Well, we're calling you today because we do a

65
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,400
Speaker 1: segment on the show that's called the First eight follow Up.

66
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,360
Speaker 1: That's where if you go out with somebody and you

67
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,679
Speaker 1: end up ghosting them, they can email us to call

68
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,840
Speaker 1: you and find out why you're ghosting them. And we

69
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:10,880
Speaker 1: got an email about you from somebody. Okay, it's somebody

70
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,920
Speaker 1: that you went on a date with recently and you

71
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,720
Speaker 1: haven't been calling them back. They've been trying to get

72
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,200
Speaker 1: hold of you. Any idea who would be?

73
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,480
Speaker 5: I mean, I assume it's it's probably a J.

74
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,280
Speaker 1: Yes, it is AJ. He emailed us and told us

75
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,320
Speaker 1: all about your date and said that he really liked you,

76
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,760
Speaker 1: and he's been bummed because you won't call him back.

77
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,720
Speaker 1: Would you mind telling us why you're ghosting him?

78
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,080
Speaker 2: Well? I don't.

79
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,600
Speaker 6: I mean, okay, uh, I don't really feel like I'm

80
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,920
Speaker 6: I'm ghosting him. I guess this thing Number one, I

81
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,680
Speaker 6: felt like he wasn't very interested in me. You know,

82
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,840
Speaker 6: did he tell you did he tell you about our

83
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,240
Speaker 6: date at all? Did he tell you like what he did?

84
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,000
Speaker 1: We talked about it a little bit. He said that

85
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:56,320
Speaker 1: he's put a martini on you on accident. He felt

86
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:56,800
Speaker 1: bad about it.

87
00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:00,640
Speaker 6: That that wasn't I mean, that didn't really okay. So

88
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,920
Speaker 6: the thing that bothered me on this date was that

89
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:06,520
Speaker 6: I didn't really feel like I.

90
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,800
Speaker 5: Got to know him at all.

91
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,000
Speaker 6: That's why I'm really surprised that he wants to, you know,

92
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,440
Speaker 6: talk to me or is involving you guys, because I

93
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:18,040
Speaker 6: went on this date with really high expectations and the

94
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:23,240
Speaker 6: entire night he basically just wouldn't talk about himself at all.

95
00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:25,479
Speaker 6: He was totally clammed up. It didn't feel like he

96
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,039
Speaker 6: wanted to be intimate or vulnerable in any way, and

97
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,839
Speaker 6: he didn't, you know, he kind of spray a drink

98
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,000
Speaker 6: on me a little bit at one point, but that

99
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,200
Speaker 6: was kind of toward the beginning. And I actually at

100
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,320
Speaker 6: that point was thinking like, oh, this is going to

101
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,960
Speaker 6: be a cute story someday, right, Like this is going

102
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,200
Speaker 6: to be really cute. Like at that point, I was

103
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:47,360
Speaker 6: hoping for another date, but he was so uninvested and

104
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,440
Speaker 6: in the whole thing all night, Like started to feel

105
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,760
Speaker 6: like you know that thing where they say, like, you know,

106
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,440
Speaker 6: narcissists and sociopaths will keep you talking about yourself because

107
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:57,279
Speaker 6: they're trying to hook you.

108
00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,560
Speaker 5: I started to feel part like does he not want

109
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,520
Speaker 5: to reveal.

110
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:03,479
Speaker 6: Anything about himself? Is he just trying to keep me

111
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,480
Speaker 6: talking about myself? Like, you know, is it a ploy?

112
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,920
Speaker 6: It was so weird, like I asked him about his

113
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,080
Speaker 6: job and he's like, oh, it's good, that keeps me busy,

114
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:13,840
Speaker 6: and then he he just asked about my job, and

115
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,960
Speaker 6: it gave me a really awkward feeling like I had

116
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,920
Speaker 6: to perform, like I was responsible for carrying the conversation.

117
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,680
Speaker 6: I felt like I was being ghosted in real time.

118
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:23,880
Speaker 6: I felt like I wanted.

119
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,880
Speaker 1: Weird okay, but he was asking you questions though, so

120
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,320
Speaker 1: like could it have been that he was just nervous?

121
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, But it felt like I was being interrogated because

122
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,000
Speaker 6: he wouldn't say anything about himself and I was trying to.

123
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,000
Speaker 6: I was asking about him because I really wanted to

124
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:41,600
Speaker 6: get to know him.

125
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,320
Speaker 5: I thought it was going to be a really good date,

126
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,040
Speaker 5: and he just was.

127
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,880
Speaker 6: Not interested in talking about himself at all, and it

128
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,200
Speaker 6: just gave me this weird feeling of like, Okay, maybe

129
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,320
Speaker 6: I don't want to turn over that log, you.

130
00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:56,600
Speaker 1: Know, Okay, hmmm, all right, well, thank you for telling us,

131
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,599
Speaker 1: And I'll also let you know Malia that AJ is

132
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,919
Speaker 1: actually on the phone listening and wants to talk to

133
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,839
Speaker 1: you right now, Yes, right now?

134
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:12,720
Speaker 4: Hello, Hi O you you were?

135
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,000
Speaker 5: Were you on the call since the beginning? Did they

136
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,520
Speaker 5: patch you in or have you been on this whole time?

137
00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:19,239
Speaker 4: Yes?

138
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:25,840
Speaker 3: I have been on the whole time, and I I'm surprised.

139
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:26,200
Speaker 4: Shock.

140
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:30,719
Speaker 3: I thought I was being respectful and letting me talk.

141
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,919
Speaker 3: I I didn't want to dominate the conversation.

142
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:36,599
Speaker 5: Well you didn't.

143
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,880
Speaker 6: You didn't dominate the conversation. You didn't even join the conversation.

144
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,599
Speaker 6: I felt like I was talking to a wall.

145
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:44,120
Speaker 2: Dang.

146
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,960
Speaker 4: Oh so well, I'm sorry for that.

147
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:53,800
Speaker 6: But do you know I thought, like, right there, you're sorry,

148
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,720
Speaker 6: was so polite, like, I don't I'm not getting a

149
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:57,960
Speaker 6: sense of any kind of emotion.

150
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,600
Speaker 5: Do you have emotions? Are you associated? Like? These are

151
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:01,160
Speaker 5: the questions?

152
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:09,280
Speaker 4: Yes and no, Yes, I have emotions.

153
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:10,680
Speaker 2: No, I'm not a sociopath.

154
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,840
Speaker 3: I thought, I thought you liked talking, so I was

155
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,960
Speaker 3: down to listen and trust me, I'm sory.

156
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,720
Speaker 4: I have hobbies I do, I really do.

157
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,480
Speaker 5: Okay, well, then say one right now.

158
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,800
Speaker 6: I mean you got me involved around the radio to

159
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,040
Speaker 6: talk to me, have a conversation with you.

160
00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,960
Speaker 4: Can you do this good?

161
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,000
Speaker 2: Good? Yes?

162
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,360
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes, okay.

163
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,880
Speaker 2: So I like walking, I like singing walks in the park,

164
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,040
Speaker 2: I like dogging.

165
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,880
Speaker 4: I like I like to be outside a lot.

166
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,280
Speaker 3: Actually that's why, that's why going to that bar was

167
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,720
Speaker 3: a good idea, because you know, I love music.

168
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,320
Speaker 4: The jazz music was great.

169
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay.

170
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:53,280
Speaker 5: I also like to be outside. I like going on hikes.

171
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,640
Speaker 5: Do you like going on hikes?

172
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:58,120
Speaker 6: Do you like being outside in the mountains?

173
00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,480
Speaker 5: Those are things I enjoy.

174
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:05,280
Speaker 3: Okay, this is good, I mean, and I promise there's

175
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:09,000
Speaker 3: many interesting things that that.

176
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,200
Speaker 2: That I didn't tell you about me. I was just

177
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,160
Speaker 2: trying to be a listener.

178
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:17,680
Speaker 5: Oh it's nice, okay, So, uh is this is this?

179
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,320
Speaker 5: Are you like this with your friends?

180
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:20,440
Speaker 2: Like?

181
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,240
Speaker 5: Do people have to draw stuff out of you?

182
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,720
Speaker 6: Because honestly, it was a little bit exhausting, and if

183
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:28,119
Speaker 6: you were if it was first date nerves, I totally understand.

184
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:28,520
Speaker 5: That's something I can.

185
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:32,400
Speaker 6: You know, I can conceptualize, but I just want to

186
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,319
Speaker 6: make sure if I'm going on a date with somebody

187
00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:35,800
Speaker 6: that I actually get to know who they are as

188
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,520
Speaker 6: a person, because that's the whole point.

189
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,600
Speaker 2: Sorry about that, I was taking notes, but yes, yes

190
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,360
Speaker 2: I can notes.

191
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,200
Speaker 4: Ye, like, I want to make sure.

192
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:56,079
Speaker 6: That's efforts that is really dorky but kind of sweet

193
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:58,280
Speaker 6: and actually a little bit vulnerable.

194
00:08:58,360 --> 00:08:59,840
Speaker 5: That's what I was missing before.

195
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:08,360
Speaker 1: So well, Ajmelia, would you like to go out with

196
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,760
Speaker 1: a J again? We'll pay for it.

197
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:14,400
Speaker 4: I don't know that that wasn't so you'll pay for it.

198
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,880
Speaker 5: Yes, the radio will pay.

199
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:19,640
Speaker 1: For Yes, we'll pay for it for it.

200
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:22,800
Speaker 5: I would be willing to go on a second first date.

201
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:29,400
Speaker 3: Yay, Okay, there you go. Yes, yes, absolutely, and I

202
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,480
Speaker 3: will come with three full stories, two embarrassing moments, and

203
00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:37,800
Speaker 3: at least one child of trauma.

204
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,760
Speaker 1: Ju Will's first date follow