1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:21,715 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Don't 2 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:25,675 Speaker 1: look now, But I think a certain Russian dictator has 3 00:00:25,715 --> 00:00:31,075 Speaker 1: stopped betting on Trump. In fact, he started humiliating Trump. 4 00:00:31,835 --> 00:00:34,075 Speaker 1: I hate to reduce the freeing of the Wall Street 5 00:00:34,115 --> 00:00:38,035 Speaker 1: Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich and Paul Whalen and the others 6 00:00:38,715 --> 00:00:42,955 Speaker 1: to yet another mad platform plank in our political insanity, 7 00:00:42,995 --> 00:00:45,475 Speaker 1: and thus more fodder for me as I continue to 8 00:00:45,475 --> 00:00:47,995 Speaker 1: think I'd like to be an angry profit denouncing the 9 00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:52,515 Speaker 1: hypocrisies of our time. But I can offer in my defense. 10 00:00:53,155 --> 00:00:58,275 Speaker 1: Trump started this hell for the month before the debate. 11 00:00:58,955 --> 00:01:03,115 Speaker 1: It was almost the entirety of his campaign. I will 12 00:01:03,235 --> 00:01:08,235 Speaker 1: free Evan Gershkovidhich, and we can speculate about what jd 13 00:01:08,475 --> 00:01:11,595 Speaker 1: Vance is doing to the Trump campaign and who only 14 00:01:11,635 --> 00:01:15,475 Speaker 1: now realizes Trump is a Hitlarian racist because of his 15 00:01:15,515 --> 00:01:19,115 Speaker 1: attacks on Kamala Harris Wednesday. But if Vladimir Putin has 16 00:01:19,275 --> 00:01:24,515 Speaker 1: just sent Evan Gershkovich home, Trump has just lost the 17 00:01:24,555 --> 00:01:29,235 Speaker 1: support of his biggest supporter, Vladimir Putin. 18 00:01:29,475 --> 00:01:32,035 Speaker 2: The reporter for the Wall Street Journal who is being 19 00:01:32,075 --> 00:01:36,515 Speaker 2: held by Russia will be released almost immediately after the election, 20 00:01:37,275 --> 00:01:40,155 Speaker 2: but definitely before I assume office, he. 21 00:01:40,075 --> 00:01:40,755 Speaker 1: Will be home. 22 00:01:40,875 --> 00:01:44,275 Speaker 2: He'll be safe. Vladimir Putin, president of Russia, will do 23 00:01:44,315 --> 00:01:46,755 Speaker 2: that for me, and I don't believe he'll do it 24 00:01:46,755 --> 00:01:47,555 Speaker 2: for anyone else. 25 00:01:47,995 --> 00:01:54,035 Speaker 1: Trump on June fifth, oops, whatever the deal was between 26 00:01:54,075 --> 00:01:57,155 Speaker 1: Trump and Putin about Gershkovich, and there is every chance 27 00:01:57,195 --> 00:02:01,315 Speaker 1: it existed only in that great amorphous, bug filled attic 28 00:02:01,475 --> 00:02:05,755 Speaker 1: that is Trump's mind. The deal is gone now only 29 00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:08,035 Speaker 1: he could get him home, only he would be the 30 00:02:08,075 --> 00:02:11,515 Speaker 1: recipient of Putin's trust and agreement. Trump even put a 31 00:02:11,595 --> 00:02:13,355 Speaker 1: date on it, not when he was back in the 32 00:02:13,355 --> 00:02:16,795 Speaker 1: White House, but as soon as he was president elect. 33 00:02:17,155 --> 00:02:20,475 Speaker 1: Vote for me and he comes home instead. Putin just 34 00:02:20,595 --> 00:02:24,835 Speaker 1: kicked Trump in the balls again. I think it is 35 00:02:24,875 --> 00:02:30,595 Speaker 1: a reasonable inference that Trump talked to Putin or intermediaries talked, 36 00:02:31,195 --> 00:02:33,955 Speaker 1: because even Trump isn't stupid enough to go so far 37 00:02:34,075 --> 00:02:36,155 Speaker 1: out on that limb that he was in a different 38 00:02:36,275 --> 00:02:42,875 Speaker 1: forest without some agreement in advance, some deal on Gershkovich, Ukraine, 39 00:02:43,115 --> 00:02:48,355 Speaker 1: Russian election support for Trump. And clearly Putin didn't even 40 00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:51,355 Speaker 1: warn Trump this was coming, didn't even bother to give 41 00:02:51,395 --> 00:02:53,515 Speaker 1: Trump a chance to get out in front of this 42 00:02:53,795 --> 00:02:58,435 Speaker 1: and claim he Trump had been working behind the scenes, 43 00:02:58,715 --> 00:03:02,475 Speaker 1: or he Trump was hopeful, or even that he had 44 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,955 Speaker 1: now decided that today was the time to use his 45 00:03:06,035 --> 00:03:09,515 Speaker 1: influence with Putin to get Geshkovic released immediately and not 46 00:03:09,635 --> 00:03:14,595 Speaker 1: wait till November. No, none of that happened. Whatever did happen, 47 00:03:14,875 --> 00:03:18,355 Speaker 1: Trump was no longer worth enough to Putin for Putin 48 00:03:18,435 --> 00:03:22,395 Speaker 1: to let Trump lie just to cover his own useless ass. 49 00:03:23,235 --> 00:03:26,515 Speaker 1: He just let Trump step on that rake. He just 50 00:03:26,755 --> 00:03:31,195 Speaker 1: left Trump to post impotently on social media about whether 51 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,555 Speaker 1: we got more prisoners than they did in this deal, 52 00:03:34,675 --> 00:03:37,955 Speaker 1: like he was talking about getting thirteen burgers for five 53 00:03:37,995 --> 00:03:41,555 Speaker 1: bucks at McDonald's instead of just a dozen. In fact, 54 00:03:41,635 --> 00:03:47,035 Speaker 1: whatever happened, Trump was left less angry than scared. The 55 00:03:47,075 --> 00:03:51,075 Speaker 1: post is whiny and covetchy, and Trump's old man yells 56 00:03:51,115 --> 00:03:54,555 Speaker 1: at cloud normal way. But he's clearly surprised by this. 57 00:03:54,755 --> 00:03:58,915 Speaker 1: He's clearly confused more than usual. He's clearly in the dark. 58 00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:01,235 Speaker 1: Putin made a deal, all right, He made a deal 59 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:06,395 Speaker 1: with Joe Biden. Trump can't process that. The posts that 60 00:04:06,555 --> 00:04:10,395 Speaker 1: Trump made doesn't mention Gershkovich by name. It doesn't mention 61 00:04:10,555 --> 00:04:15,755 Speaker 1: Putin by name. It only references Russia once. Trump doesn't 62 00:04:15,795 --> 00:04:17,915 Speaker 1: even take the only avenue left open to him to 63 00:04:17,915 --> 00:04:20,435 Speaker 1: not look like a fool whom Putin played like the 64 00:04:20,435 --> 00:04:23,755 Speaker 1: proverbial two dollars banjo. He doesn't simply say, I am 65 00:04:23,875 --> 00:04:28,755 Speaker 1: glad Gershkovich is home. And maybe most notably of all, 66 00:04:28,795 --> 00:04:32,835 Speaker 1: Trump didn't dare right, I am glad Gershkovich's home because 67 00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:36,875 Speaker 1: Putin did the humane thing, or I am glad Gershkovich 68 00:04:36,955 --> 00:04:41,795 Speaker 1: is home because Putin listened to my advice. Biden's advisors 69 00:04:41,835 --> 00:04:45,955 Speaker 1: are leaking play by play of the deal, right down 70 00:04:45,995 --> 00:04:49,595 Speaker 1: to timing the president's phone calls to foreign leaders about 71 00:04:49,595 --> 00:04:51,955 Speaker 1: it to one hour before he dropped out of the 72 00:04:51,955 --> 00:04:56,355 Speaker 1: Democratic presidential race. Trump he didn't even get Putin's permission 73 00:04:56,395 --> 00:04:59,955 Speaker 1: to mention Putin's name on his own social media site. 74 00:05:00,595 --> 00:05:04,395 Speaker 1: All he got was everybody else posting the name of 75 00:05:04,395 --> 00:05:08,395 Speaker 1: poor Otto Warmbierre, the man Trump ransomed from Kim Jong 76 00:05:08,515 --> 00:05:11,515 Speaker 1: un for two million dollars who died six days after 77 00:05:11,555 --> 00:05:16,235 Speaker 1: his return, died of his injuries at Kim's hands. Trump 78 00:05:16,755 --> 00:05:22,075 Speaker 1: just got royally screwed by Putin at It's terrific. Oh, 79 00:05:22,115 --> 00:05:26,635 Speaker 1: and there is collateral damage. Biden is Mia. One of 80 00:05:26,675 --> 00:05:29,875 Speaker 1: the dumber members of the House of Representatives posted yesterday morning, 81 00:05:30,075 --> 00:05:34,275 Speaker 1: why is no one talking about it? Now? I know 82 00:05:34,355 --> 00:05:37,155 Speaker 1: the phrase one of the dumber members of the House 83 00:05:37,195 --> 00:05:39,635 Speaker 1: of Representatives only narrows it down to about one hundred 84 00:05:39,635 --> 00:05:42,115 Speaker 1: and thirty six or one hundred and thirty seven Republicans. 85 00:05:42,395 --> 00:05:46,075 Speaker 1: But this particular moron posted what I just read to 86 00:05:46,115 --> 00:05:49,595 Speaker 1: you at nine to twenty nine am Eastern, nearly two 87 00:05:49,595 --> 00:05:53,755 Speaker 1: hours after Bloomberg had broken the news that the Gershkovich 88 00:05:53,795 --> 00:05:57,715 Speaker 1: deal was done. Hours later, the White House retweeted it, 89 00:05:57,955 --> 00:06:00,995 Speaker 1: adding a photo of President Biden and the families of 90 00:06:00,995 --> 00:06:04,195 Speaker 1: the rescued hostages in the Oval Office on the phone 91 00:06:04,235 --> 00:06:07,355 Speaker 1: to their love once with the caption He's been busy. 92 00:06:09,195 --> 00:06:13,235 Speaker 1: Marjorie Taylor Green is a moron, but like Trump, she 93 00:06:13,275 --> 00:06:17,475 Speaker 1: has a kind of set of cockroach like survival skills. 94 00:06:18,155 --> 00:06:21,275 Speaker 1: Bobert is too sludge to pay attention to the world 95 00:06:21,275 --> 00:06:25,315 Speaker 1: beyond whoever is sitting next to her in the theater. 96 00:06:26,315 --> 00:06:29,755 Speaker 1: There was only one congress idiot who could have ignored 97 00:06:29,875 --> 00:06:32,755 Speaker 1: news that for at least ninety minutes contained a red 98 00:06:32,835 --> 00:06:35,955 Speaker 1: sign flashing look out for rakes on lawn. Look out 99 00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:38,955 Speaker 1: for rakes on lawn and could basically walk up to 100 00:06:38,995 --> 00:06:41,835 Speaker 1: the President and say, please make sure I step on this. 101 00:06:42,515 --> 00:06:46,715 Speaker 1: And that is the one and only Congresswoman Nancy Mace, 102 00:06:46,915 --> 00:06:51,555 Speaker 1: and God bless her. She is a continuing gift to 103 00:06:51,675 --> 00:06:55,835 Speaker 1: the Democratic Party. That tweet that she put out asking 104 00:06:55,875 --> 00:06:59,075 Speaker 1: where Biden is and how he's am she still has 105 00:06:59,115 --> 00:07:25,675 Speaker 1: it pinned to her account. The Putin thing is so 106 00:07:25,875 --> 00:07:28,915 Speaker 1: bad it may have even registered with Trump. But of 107 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:32,435 Speaker 1: course for him, everything is transient, and he knows he 108 00:07:32,515 --> 00:07:35,875 Speaker 1: has just landed on the winning strategy in the new 109 00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:40,035 Speaker 1: Look presidential campaign, so he's doubling down on it. That 110 00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:42,915 Speaker 1: new Look is of course that Kamala Harris can't be 111 00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:47,875 Speaker 1: black because she's also of Indian heritage, and he's convinced. 112 00:07:47,915 --> 00:07:50,715 Speaker 1: He proved it Wednesday at the National Association of Black 113 00:07:50,795 --> 00:07:54,875 Speaker 1: Journalists and everybody loves him because his campaigns black media 114 00:07:54,955 --> 00:07:59,035 Speaker 1: director went on Fox yesterday and directly addressed the controversy. 115 00:07:59,075 --> 00:08:04,835 Speaker 1: They brought up the controversy over why the NABJ didn't 116 00:08:04,555 --> 00:08:10,435 Speaker 1: like Trump do the thing by zoom. Trump believes this 117 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:15,875 Speaker 1: because Trump is a moron, but he's convinced this is 118 00:08:15,915 --> 00:08:19,435 Speaker 1: a winner. He posted about it at least four times yesterday, 119 00:08:19,435 --> 00:08:22,835 Speaker 1: including posting the copy of the Kamala Harris birth certificate 120 00:08:22,995 --> 00:08:26,715 Speaker 1: that indicates Jamaican heritage. And everybody knows Jamaicans aren't black. 121 00:08:27,475 --> 00:08:33,955 Speaker 1: They're from Jamaica in Queens in New York, near the 122 00:08:34,035 --> 00:08:39,755 Speaker 1: carvel on Union Tonpike. I know how stupid that sounds, 123 00:08:40,155 --> 00:08:44,395 Speaker 1: but you have to understand how stupid Trump is. I 124 00:08:44,515 --> 00:08:46,155 Speaker 1: just picked that out of thin air. I don't have 125 00:08:46,195 --> 00:08:49,115 Speaker 1: any evidence of this directly, but he may really think 126 00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:52,395 Speaker 1: Jamaica means the part of the New York City borough 127 00:08:52,435 --> 00:08:56,395 Speaker 1: in which he was raised. I mentioned previously the theory 128 00:08:56,715 --> 00:09:00,595 Speaker 1: that Trump believes other countries are emptying their mental asylums 129 00:09:00,835 --> 00:09:05,035 Speaker 1: and sending their patients here because the word asylum is 130 00:09:05,155 --> 00:09:09,795 Speaker 1: used all the time about immigration, and he cannot process 131 00:09:09,915 --> 00:09:14,115 Speaker 1: the idea that a word has two meanings, and thus 132 00:09:14,395 --> 00:09:17,675 Speaker 1: if you identify as black, you're not allowed to identify 133 00:09:17,715 --> 00:09:24,115 Speaker 1: as anything else. And Jamaica is in Queen's. This is 134 00:09:24,155 --> 00:09:26,715 Speaker 1: how his mind works, or more correctly, how it doesn't work. 135 00:09:27,555 --> 00:09:31,155 Speaker 1: More importantly, Trump thinks this is his led Pipe cinch 136 00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:36,595 Speaker 1: winning strategy. Because the nation's top two newspapers failed again, 137 00:09:37,515 --> 00:09:41,755 Speaker 1: Mother Jones headline white Man tells black journalists his black 138 00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:47,795 Speaker 1: opponent is not black. True and witty. Washington Post headline, 139 00:09:48,115 --> 00:09:54,235 Speaker 1: Trump's attack on Harris's racial identity moves contest into new phase. 140 00:09:55,435 --> 00:09:58,675 Speaker 1: New York Times headline, Trump says Harris became a black 141 00:09:58,675 --> 00:10:04,675 Speaker 1: person only recently. Again, this is as if Trump got 142 00:10:04,755 --> 00:10:09,075 Speaker 1: up and in a speech threatened to burn the Post 143 00:10:09,195 --> 00:10:12,075 Speaker 1: and the Times to the ground, and the Post headline 144 00:10:12,075 --> 00:10:16,675 Speaker 1: about it was Trump criticizes Post, Times, and the Times 145 00:10:16,675 --> 00:10:23,995 Speaker 1: headline was Trump remarks make publishers contemplate building renovations. Now, 146 00:10:24,075 --> 00:10:28,635 Speaker 1: each of these papers suddenly changed their headlines, something that 147 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:32,395 Speaker 1: has happened so often because of their pusillanimous conduct these 148 00:10:32,435 --> 00:10:35,595 Speaker 1: last few years that you wonder if they have one 149 00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:40,835 Speaker 1: editor just in charge of changing headlines. But the Times 150 00:10:40,915 --> 00:10:44,115 Speaker 1: was back last night with a new dilly. Trump escalates 151 00:10:44,275 --> 00:10:51,475 Speaker 1: race attacks on Harris, worrying some Republicans. And again, this 152 00:10:51,875 --> 00:10:56,195 Speaker 1: is the most openly racist presidential candidate since at least 153 00:10:56,235 --> 00:10:59,635 Speaker 1: George Wallace, and probably if you grade against the curve 154 00:10:59,715 --> 00:11:03,155 Speaker 1: of their own time, the most racist presidential candidates since 155 00:11:03,195 --> 00:11:09,195 Speaker 1: at least Woodrow Wilson, or maybe even since Jefferson Davis. 156 00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:11,955 Speaker 1: But go on, New York Times tell me about how 157 00:11:11,955 --> 00:11:15,715 Speaker 1: he would be president. Trying to ignite a race war 158 00:11:15,915 --> 00:11:21,435 Speaker 1: in this country is worrying some Republicans because that's who 159 00:11:21,435 --> 00:11:26,275 Speaker 1: should be worried, right, Republicans, They're the true victims here. 160 00:11:26,755 --> 00:11:29,395 Speaker 1: Has anybody checked to make sure the Republicans are okay? 161 00:11:29,395 --> 00:11:31,835 Speaker 1: After Trump? What he said, what he said about and Black, 162 00:11:32,035 --> 00:11:35,995 Speaker 1: and he asked, what you said? She's not. The happy 163 00:11:36,035 --> 00:11:38,955 Speaker 1: part of this, which again is a vibe as opposed 164 00:11:38,955 --> 00:11:42,715 Speaker 1: to a poll, is that yesterday, twenty four hours later, 165 00:11:42,875 --> 00:11:47,355 Speaker 1: thirty six hours after Trump's KKK level performance in Chicago, 166 00:11:47,835 --> 00:11:52,075 Speaker 1: they were still talking about this at length on all 167 00:11:52,155 --> 00:11:56,555 Speaker 1: news radio in New York, which is basically now only 168 00:11:56,635 --> 00:12:03,835 Speaker 1: about subway mugging and traffic reports. And guess what, they 169 00:12:03,835 --> 00:12:07,955 Speaker 1: were not exactly defending Trump in this People were really 170 00:12:08,035 --> 00:12:13,435 Speaker 1: pissed off. I believe Trump can now pretty much kill 171 00:12:13,475 --> 00:12:17,435 Speaker 1: off his campaign chances by just grabbing this third rail 172 00:12:17,995 --> 00:12:21,995 Speaker 1: in his next three four five speeches. I mean, he 173 00:12:22,115 --> 00:12:25,035 Speaker 1: didn't grab it, not really. Thursday night, they put up 174 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:28,115 Speaker 1: some graphics on the screens at the rally in Pennsylvania, 175 00:12:28,795 --> 00:12:32,755 Speaker 1: but as the remarkably obtuced CNN commentator Scott Jennings put 176 00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:35,715 Speaker 1: it in an equally remarkable moment of clarity, and it 177 00:12:35,795 --> 00:12:39,435 Speaker 1: was just a moment. Trump did crap the bed today. 178 00:12:39,755 --> 00:12:43,035 Speaker 1: The only question is if he's going to roll around 179 00:12:43,155 --> 00:12:49,555 Speaker 1: in it or change the sheets. Huh. Great, now we're 180 00:12:49,635 --> 00:13:01,675 Speaker 1: back to the goddamned pe tape. Hey, I didn't bring 181 00:13:01,715 --> 00:13:04,995 Speaker 1: it up happily for Vice President Harris and the future 182 00:13:04,995 --> 00:13:07,595 Speaker 1: of democracy. We all know the answer to the Scott 183 00:13:07,675 --> 00:13:12,595 Speaker 1: Jennings rhetorical question. I mean, look, he's not even dumping JD. Vance, 184 00:13:12,715 --> 00:13:17,475 Speaker 1: let alone this. She can't be African, She's Jamaican. Bit 185 00:13:18,555 --> 00:13:21,515 Speaker 1: Vance was nice enough to call Harris quote a total 186 00:13:21,555 --> 00:13:24,755 Speaker 1: phony who caters to whatever audience is in front of her, 187 00:13:25,675 --> 00:13:28,635 Speaker 1: which is pretty funny even before you remember that JD. 188 00:13:28,795 --> 00:13:31,995 Speaker 1: Vance used to be named Jimmy Hammill, and before that 189 00:13:32,635 --> 00:13:35,555 Speaker 1: he was named J. D. Bowman, and before that he 190 00:13:35,635 --> 00:13:40,475 Speaker 1: was named James Donald Bowman. Whoever the hell he is, 191 00:13:40,515 --> 00:13:45,795 Speaker 1: he has a remarkable facility for saying the absolute worst 192 00:13:45,915 --> 00:13:50,395 Speaker 1: thing possible and never ever realizing it. In an interview 193 00:13:50,395 --> 00:13:54,355 Speaker 1: with the supposedly neutral news site Notice, he insisted there 194 00:13:54,435 --> 00:13:57,675 Speaker 1: is no backroom chatter about replacing him on the ticket, 195 00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:00,915 Speaker 1: quoting I think that any Republican who comes out of 196 00:14:00,915 --> 00:14:02,835 Speaker 1: the gate as the new VP nominee is going to 197 00:14:02,835 --> 00:14:07,075 Speaker 1: get attacked, and he was confident that he has Trump's support. 198 00:14:07,395 --> 00:14:14,915 Speaker 1: It's quoting again the same thing they did to Mike Pence. Yeah, JD. 199 00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,955 Speaker 1: Let me let me just put my arm around you here, bud. 200 00:14:18,155 --> 00:14:20,675 Speaker 1: Take you over here, away from where all the reporters 201 00:14:20,675 --> 00:14:24,315 Speaker 1: and cameras are, and explain to you what Trump actually 202 00:14:24,475 --> 00:14:28,275 Speaker 1: did do to Mike Pence. You need a moment to 203 00:14:28,275 --> 00:14:31,155 Speaker 1: start screaming. Just go out through this door so nobody 204 00:14:31,195 --> 00:14:36,755 Speaker 1: sees you. Thanks, Jimmy. So Vance is a continuing gift 205 00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:39,395 Speaker 1: to the Democrats, and now the gift is mutating into 206 00:14:39,435 --> 00:14:42,395 Speaker 1: a different kind of gift because the Republicans want to 207 00:14:42,395 --> 00:14:45,355 Speaker 1: know who has been spreading the story that they are 208 00:14:45,395 --> 00:14:48,875 Speaker 1: trying to get rid of this idiot. The answer, according 209 00:14:48,915 --> 00:14:53,075 Speaker 1: to a dozen different Trump campaign staffers and allies and 210 00:14:53,555 --> 00:14:58,475 Speaker 1: fellow travelers speaking anonymously to the website The Bulwark, the 211 00:14:58,595 --> 00:15:03,475 Speaker 1: answer as to who is trashing JD. Vance is unanimously 212 00:15:05,315 --> 00:15:10,475 Speaker 1: Kelly Ann Conway. Now Kelly and con Job insists she's 213 00:15:10,555 --> 00:15:15,275 Speaker 1: not making any calls about Vance, She's getting calls about Vans. 214 00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:20,475 Speaker 1: The Bulwark quotes a confidant of Junior Trump saying, Daddy 215 00:15:20,595 --> 00:15:23,755 Speaker 1: is quote pissed off about it. He knows it's her. 216 00:15:25,475 --> 00:15:28,915 Speaker 1: I will repeat something I learned during the twenty sixteen campaign, 217 00:15:29,315 --> 00:15:32,275 Speaker 1: and then the events of the following few years confirmed 218 00:15:32,995 --> 00:15:38,035 Speaker 1: the source on everything at the beginning of the Trump administration. 219 00:15:38,555 --> 00:15:43,195 Speaker 1: The source for the mainstream media, especially the television network 220 00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:48,355 Speaker 1: news divisions, the source was Kelly An Conway. I have 221 00:15:48,475 --> 00:15:52,275 Speaker 1: explained here before about the start of the rifts between 222 00:15:52,275 --> 00:15:55,995 Speaker 1: me and my accent my much longer truly good friend, 223 00:15:56,435 --> 00:16:00,475 Speaker 1: Katie Turr. The start of that was about her inexplicable, 224 00:16:00,675 --> 00:16:03,355 Speaker 1: angry defense of Kelly and Conway, to the point of 225 00:16:03,515 --> 00:16:06,555 Speaker 1: selling me out a couple of times in a book. 226 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,595 Speaker 1: Another reporter who covered Trump on the stump and then 227 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:15,635 Speaker 1: in Washington explained to me, duh, Kelly Ann is everybody's source. 228 00:16:17,475 --> 00:16:20,035 Speaker 1: The most important part of the Kellyan Conway story, though, 229 00:16:20,115 --> 00:16:22,555 Speaker 1: is what she says about Trump and Vance. She says 230 00:16:22,595 --> 00:16:26,475 Speaker 1: he will never dump Vance because, quote, he's loyal. He 231 00:16:26,595 --> 00:16:29,875 Speaker 1: was loyal to me. He's a loyal guy. He sticks 232 00:16:29,915 --> 00:16:35,035 Speaker 1: with things. Yeah, they were all loyal to Fredo too. 233 00:16:36,435 --> 00:16:38,675 Speaker 1: As to the other vice presidential candidate, we will have 234 00:16:38,715 --> 00:16:41,475 Speaker 1: an answer Monday or Tuesday. Since the new ticket hits 235 00:16:41,475 --> 00:16:44,355 Speaker 1: the trail, then you have no doubt heard that. Yesterday, 236 00:16:44,355 --> 00:16:48,835 Speaker 1: Governor Josh Shapiro of Pennsylvania canceled a weekend of fundraisers 237 00:16:48,835 --> 00:16:53,875 Speaker 1: in suburban New York that were for his own campaign committee. 238 00:16:53,995 --> 00:16:56,795 Speaker 1: There was also a meeting among Harris's team and Shapiro 239 00:16:56,875 --> 00:17:01,395 Speaker 1: on Wednesday, possibly by zoom and possibly meaning no more 240 00:17:01,435 --> 00:17:05,035 Speaker 1: than that they've now met with every name you heard, Pierro, 241 00:17:05,795 --> 00:17:10,115 Speaker 1: Mark Kelly, Tim Walls, and of course JD. Vance, justin 242 00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:18,835 Speaker 1: Casey loses the vice presidential nomination he already has. And lastly, 243 00:17:18,995 --> 00:17:22,355 Speaker 1: if you are having trouble fathoming the impact of that 244 00:17:22,395 --> 00:17:27,235 Speaker 1: one really ordinary word past, which nearly all of us 245 00:17:27,315 --> 00:17:31,955 Speaker 1: assessing Trump drove years or decades ago, or in my case, 246 00:17:32,115 --> 00:17:37,835 Speaker 1: in a previous century, if you're wondering why weird bothers them, so, 247 00:17:38,555 --> 00:17:43,035 Speaker 1: here's the one weird trick that explains everything about weird. 248 00:17:44,395 --> 00:17:50,395 Speaker 1: Trump does not know he's weird. Well, they're the weird ones. 249 00:17:50,395 --> 00:17:52,435 Speaker 2: And if you've ever seen her with a laugh and 250 00:17:52,475 --> 00:17:55,435 Speaker 2: everything else, that's a weird deal going on there. They're 251 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:56,035 Speaker 2: the weird ones. 252 00:17:56,115 --> 00:17:57,555 Speaker 1: And nobody's ever called me weird. 253 00:17:57,995 --> 00:18:00,155 Speaker 2: I'm a lot of things, but weird, I'm not, and 254 00:18:00,275 --> 00:18:03,155 Speaker 2: I'm up front and he's not either. 255 00:18:03,435 --> 00:18:07,315 Speaker 1: I will tell you it is not at all. They are. 256 00:18:07,635 --> 00:18:10,235 Speaker 2: The whole thing is weird, and the way they do 257 00:18:10,315 --> 00:18:11,475 Speaker 2: elections is weird. 258 00:18:12,235 --> 00:18:15,755 Speaker 1: And no, they're the weird ones. Trump not at all weird. 259 00:18:15,915 --> 00:18:21,075 Speaker 1: On the Bunk Sex Bump Clay Always Wrong podcast, Imagine 260 00:18:21,075 --> 00:18:25,515 Speaker 1: for a moment, being born in the year nineteen forty six, 261 00:18:26,715 --> 00:18:32,555 Speaker 1: living through Korea and the Cold War and JFK and 262 00:18:32,715 --> 00:18:37,235 Speaker 1: Vietnam and the Swing in sixties and color television and 263 00:18:37,275 --> 00:18:39,835 Speaker 1: Watergate and Reagan and the tech boom and the Internet 264 00:18:39,875 --> 00:18:42,155 Speaker 1: and nine to eleven and Obama and every day of 265 00:18:42,195 --> 00:18:45,195 Speaker 1: your life since you learned how to talk, somebody has 266 00:18:45,235 --> 00:18:50,235 Speaker 1: called you weird. And apparently you had never heard this 267 00:18:50,675 --> 00:18:59,995 Speaker 1: until last week. There's a North Dakota happily for him. Anyway. 268 00:19:00,075 --> 00:19:02,715 Speaker 1: Trump has the perfect response to this. You heard him, 269 00:19:03,155 --> 00:19:08,035 Speaker 1: I'm not weird, You're weird, And history, of course tells 270 00:19:08,115 --> 00:19:11,555 Speaker 1: us the one reply that always gets the guy calling 271 00:19:11,595 --> 00:19:15,675 Speaker 1: you names is to yell at him to stop calling 272 00:19:15,715 --> 00:19:21,315 Speaker 1: you names, and then yell at him that they're the 273 00:19:21,395 --> 00:19:32,875 Speaker 1: ones who are weird. Not you. Nobody's ever called me weird, 274 00:19:33,315 --> 00:19:37,595 Speaker 1: not just the just the last. I don't know seventy 275 00:19:37,595 --> 00:19:43,435 Speaker 1: five eighty million Americans who've been born. Also of interest here, 276 00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:46,995 Speaker 1: Elon Musk and the Venezuelan dictator Maduro are apparently going 277 00:19:47,035 --> 00:19:50,555 Speaker 1: to have a boxing match. At least that's what Musk says. 278 00:19:50,755 --> 00:19:53,395 Speaker 1: And as we know, everything Musk has ever said turned 279 00:19:53,435 --> 00:19:56,315 Speaker 1: out to be true. No, I'm sorry, I read that wrong. 280 00:19:56,715 --> 00:19:59,035 Speaker 1: Everything Musk has ever said turned out to be false. 281 00:19:59,555 --> 00:20:05,315 Speaker 1: That's next. This is countdown. This is count down with 282 00:20:05,435 --> 00:20:28,795 Speaker 1: Keith Olberman Stella ahead of us on this ediative countdown. 283 00:20:29,115 --> 00:20:32,075 Speaker 1: Since I started reading Thurber to an audience that would 284 00:20:32,075 --> 00:20:36,155 Speaker 1: have been in twenty ten, it was my late father's idea. 285 00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:40,035 Speaker 1: We wound up doing a live show and an audio book. 286 00:20:40,075 --> 00:20:43,755 Speaker 1: I thought he was nuts. Anyway, I have frequently been 287 00:20:43,795 --> 00:20:48,315 Speaker 1: asked since twenty ten if Thurber wrote a novel, No, 288 00:20:49,555 --> 00:20:53,355 Speaker 1: I think are truly great humorists pretty much uniformly did 289 00:20:53,355 --> 00:20:58,075 Speaker 1: not write novels. Ring Lardner did not. Mankin, though not 290 00:20:58,115 --> 00:21:01,835 Speaker 1: a humorist per se, certainly traded in laughs. He didn't. 291 00:21:02,435 --> 00:21:06,235 Speaker 1: But at least Thurber came close a book of short stories, 292 00:21:06,755 --> 00:21:11,115 Speaker 1: hyperbolic recollections of his youth, mostly in Columbus, Ohio, including 293 00:21:11,115 --> 00:21:14,795 Speaker 1: two of his longer, greater short stories, including his signature work, 294 00:21:14,835 --> 00:21:17,635 Speaker 1: The Night the Bed Fell. The book was called My 295 00:21:17,755 --> 00:21:21,955 Speaker 1: Life and Hard Times, and I have the third best 296 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:24,875 Speaker 1: story from it to read to you this week, and 297 00:21:24,915 --> 00:21:29,115 Speaker 1: it's pretty damn good, all about the timeless travails of 298 00:21:29,235 --> 00:21:37,795 Speaker 1: somebody trying to get through college. University days coming up first, 299 00:21:37,835 --> 00:21:40,235 Speaker 1: there are still more new idiots to talk about. The 300 00:21:40,315 --> 00:21:44,115 Speaker 1: daily roundup of the miscreants, morons and Dunning Kruegriffet specimens 301 00:21:44,675 --> 00:21:48,875 Speaker 1: who constitute two days worst persons in the world. The 302 00:21:48,915 --> 00:21:55,475 Speaker 1: brons artie moreno owner of your Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, 303 00:21:55,955 --> 00:22:03,555 Speaker 1: Azusa and Cucamonga. This statement was released yesterday by Mike Trout, 304 00:22:03,715 --> 00:22:07,395 Speaker 1: the superstar the Angels, once compared to Mickey Mantle and 305 00:22:07,675 --> 00:22:11,675 Speaker 1: once considered pretty much unanimously as the best baseball player 306 00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:16,195 Speaker 1: of the century. Since my initial surgery on May third 307 00:22:16,275 --> 00:22:20,035 Speaker 1: to repair my meniscus, my rehabilitation proved longer and more 308 00:22:20,035 --> 00:22:22,995 Speaker 1: difficult than anticipated. After months of hard work, I was 309 00:22:22,995 --> 00:22:26,515 Speaker 1: devastated yesterday when an MRI showed a tear in my 310 00:22:26,635 --> 00:22:31,915 Speaker 1: meniscus that will require surgery again, ending my hopes of 311 00:22:31,995 --> 00:22:36,195 Speaker 1: returning this season. I will do everything I can to 312 00:22:36,235 --> 00:22:39,555 Speaker 1: come back even stronger. I'll continue to help my team 313 00:22:39,675 --> 00:22:42,515 Speaker 1: and teammates from the dugout as we press forward into 314 00:22:42,555 --> 00:22:45,835 Speaker 1: the second half of the season. Thank you for your support. 315 00:22:47,635 --> 00:22:51,315 Speaker 1: Mike Trout reached the majors with the Los Angeles Angels 316 00:22:51,315 --> 00:22:54,515 Speaker 1: in twenty eleven. Since then, his team has made the 317 00:22:54,555 --> 00:22:59,355 Speaker 1: postseason once. He has played in three playoff games in 318 00:22:59,435 --> 00:23:03,355 Speaker 1: his life. Twenty fourteen, his Angels were swept by the 319 00:23:03,435 --> 00:23:06,995 Speaker 1: Kansas City Royals, three games during which Trout went one 320 00:23:07,115 --> 00:23:13,075 Speaker 1: for twelve. His team led Game three one to nothing 321 00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:16,235 Speaker 1: after the top of the first inning, then Kansas City 322 00:23:16,275 --> 00:23:19,715 Speaker 1: scored three in the bottom of the first inning. Otherwise, 323 00:23:21,435 --> 00:23:23,515 Speaker 1: he has never been in a playoff game in which 324 00:23:23,515 --> 00:23:27,395 Speaker 1: his team was ahead, let alone a game in which 325 00:23:27,475 --> 00:23:31,795 Speaker 1: he contributed in some way. Perhaps still a man with 326 00:23:31,875 --> 00:23:34,155 Speaker 1: a chance to be the greatest player of his time 327 00:23:35,315 --> 00:23:38,475 Speaker 1: has never played in the playoffs. Mike turns thirty three 328 00:23:38,595 --> 00:23:42,395 Speaker 1: next Wednesday, and you wonder if perhaps this is one 329 00:23:42,435 --> 00:23:45,995 Speaker 1: of those Twilight Zone episodes where you ask the genie 330 00:23:45,995 --> 00:23:47,675 Speaker 1: in the bottle to make you the greatest player of 331 00:23:47,715 --> 00:23:50,275 Speaker 1: all time and he does. And then make sure that 332 00:23:50,355 --> 00:23:55,355 Speaker 1: your team around you never ever competes for anything. The 333 00:23:55,395 --> 00:23:58,955 Speaker 1: Angels just sold off their stars again against the August 334 00:23:59,035 --> 00:24:03,115 Speaker 1: first trading deadline. This is like I forget six, seven, 335 00:24:03,155 --> 00:24:05,555 Speaker 1: eight years in a row. They've done that a couple 336 00:24:05,635 --> 00:24:08,275 Speaker 1: of years ago. This Artie Moreno, who owns the Angels 337 00:24:08,275 --> 00:24:12,035 Speaker 1: and has never invested in them properly. He said he 338 00:24:12,075 --> 00:24:15,475 Speaker 1: was going to sell the team. Then he changed his mind. 339 00:24:16,315 --> 00:24:19,395 Speaker 1: So he's part of this twilight Zone episode two only 340 00:24:19,435 --> 00:24:23,115 Speaker 1: he may be the evil genie in the bottle. Sell 341 00:24:23,635 --> 00:24:27,995 Speaker 1: the team or sell Mike Trout to a major league team. 342 00:24:28,355 --> 00:24:34,235 Speaker 1: Mister Moreno the runner up worser. Amy Walter of Cook 343 00:24:34,315 --> 00:24:36,955 Speaker 1: Political Report. We'll start with a tweet from Garrett Hag 344 00:24:37,075 --> 00:24:40,235 Speaker 1: of NBC News, thinking of the Trump supporter I interviewed 345 00:24:40,235 --> 00:24:43,275 Speaker 1: in downtown Harrisburg, who, when I asked what Trump needed 346 00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:47,115 Speaker 1: to do to win this election, answered simply button his lip. 347 00:24:48,315 --> 00:24:53,315 Speaker 1: Amy Walter retweeted this, and she is the publisher and 348 00:24:53,555 --> 00:24:56,835 Speaker 1: editor in chief of Cook Political Report, which is not 349 00:24:56,875 --> 00:25:00,755 Speaker 1: only taken seriously, but is taken seriously as a kind 350 00:25:00,755 --> 00:25:05,595 Speaker 1: of nonpartisan or at least bipartisan political assess those people 351 00:25:05,675 --> 00:25:09,955 Speaker 1: who don't understand the implications of what they're covering, but 352 00:25:10,155 --> 00:25:13,355 Speaker 1: deliberately take the implications of what they're covering out of 353 00:25:13,355 --> 00:25:16,355 Speaker 1: their equation to be as neutral as possible. And this 354 00:25:16,555 --> 00:25:19,755 Speaker 1: is what she responded to Garrett Hake of NBC News 355 00:25:19,795 --> 00:25:24,635 Speaker 1: with if this election is about policy like inflation slash immigration, 356 00:25:25,035 --> 00:25:28,755 Speaker 1: Trump wins. If it is about Trump, well there's the 357 00:25:28,795 --> 00:25:34,235 Speaker 1: opening for Harris. This appears not to be a parody account. 358 00:25:34,515 --> 00:25:39,755 Speaker 1: This is Amy Walter's opinion, and being publisher and editor 359 00:25:39,795 --> 00:25:41,955 Speaker 1: in chief of something like the Cook Political Report, you 360 00:25:41,955 --> 00:25:45,475 Speaker 1: would have to hope it was a considered opinion that 361 00:25:46,155 --> 00:25:52,715 Speaker 1: the election is policy inflation, immigration, meaning Trump would win. 362 00:25:53,115 --> 00:25:55,915 Speaker 1: If it's about Trump, that would mean Harris would win. 363 00:25:57,275 --> 00:25:59,515 Speaker 1: Amy Walter, we'd like to welcome you to the United 364 00:25:59,515 --> 00:26:02,115 Speaker 1: States of America. I don't know where you've been working, 365 00:26:02,435 --> 00:26:05,675 Speaker 1: perhaps it was a different planet, but here we know 366 00:26:05,875 --> 00:26:10,715 Speaker 1: that there are no issues for Trump, or policies for Trump, 367 00:26:11,635 --> 00:26:14,995 Speaker 1: or real interest in things like inflation or immigration. There 368 00:26:15,075 --> 00:26:19,355 Speaker 1: is only for Trump. Trump and the thought that you 369 00:26:19,435 --> 00:26:24,315 Speaker 1: go into an office someome where every day and decide 370 00:26:24,395 --> 00:26:30,595 Speaker 1: how your website will analyze and forecast the upcoming elections 371 00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:35,075 Speaker 1: at the Cook Political Report is astonishing. It's like discovering 372 00:26:36,035 --> 00:26:44,795 Speaker 1: the school bus driver is sightless. It's just astonishing. Policy, Trump, inflation, immigration, 373 00:26:45,315 --> 00:26:48,435 Speaker 1: if it's about Trump. In the world of Trump, everything 374 00:26:48,515 --> 00:26:53,635 Speaker 1: is about Trump. Good God. I wonder what the original 375 00:26:53,715 --> 00:26:56,755 Speaker 1: language was for. This can't have been in American English. 376 00:26:57,115 --> 00:27:00,435 Speaker 1: The woman could never have been here before. But our winners. 377 00:27:01,595 --> 00:27:06,475 Speaker 1: Once again that pair you've loved to hate for many decades, 378 00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:11,795 Speaker 1: Venezuelan President Nicholas Maduro and Elon Musk, who is president 379 00:27:12,115 --> 00:27:17,555 Speaker 1: of the country in his own mind. The headline a 380 00:27:17,835 --> 00:27:22,875 Speaker 1: screen shot was tweeted out Venezuelan President Maduro challenges Elon 381 00:27:22,995 --> 00:27:28,075 Speaker 1: Musk to fight on national television, and all we see 382 00:27:28,075 --> 00:27:31,475 Speaker 1: here is a picture of Maduro, the thug dictator who 383 00:27:31,515 --> 00:27:35,395 Speaker 1: just stole the election in Venezuela, and the closed captioning 384 00:27:35,435 --> 00:27:37,915 Speaker 1: over his face as he sits in front of a microphone, 385 00:27:37,915 --> 00:27:42,715 Speaker 1: reading you went off the rails. Obviously that was addressed 386 00:27:42,715 --> 00:27:50,075 Speaker 1: to Musk, but here's Musk's response to this. I accept yes, Elon, 387 00:27:50,275 --> 00:27:54,475 Speaker 1: training on a diet of ozembic and pharmaceuticals, is going 388 00:27:54,475 --> 00:27:59,635 Speaker 1: to fight Nicholas Maduro on national television. Now, obviously this 389 00:27:59,715 --> 00:28:03,555 Speaker 1: has various implications for the business world if Musk gets 390 00:28:03,675 --> 00:28:06,915 Speaker 1: killed in the ring, and for the political world, and 391 00:28:06,955 --> 00:28:11,835 Speaker 1: in fact for much of geopolitics, if say Maduro was 392 00:28:11,875 --> 00:28:13,635 Speaker 1: to get killed in the ring. But I'd like to 393 00:28:13,715 --> 00:28:18,035 Speaker 1: raise third possibility that a lot of people don't know about, 394 00:28:18,035 --> 00:28:21,915 Speaker 1: because it has happened at least what four, five, six, seven, eight, 395 00:28:22,155 --> 00:28:25,915 Speaker 1: nine times before in the history of boxing, which is 396 00:28:25,955 --> 00:28:30,355 Speaker 1: what essentially Maduro has challenged him to fight. I assume 397 00:28:30,715 --> 00:28:34,315 Speaker 1: maybe it's UFC, but this sounds more like a boxing match. 398 00:28:34,875 --> 00:28:37,555 Speaker 1: Maybe there's a cage. Maybe they could just get in 399 00:28:37,635 --> 00:28:40,555 Speaker 1: the cage that the UFC fighters get into and just 400 00:28:40,595 --> 00:28:43,715 Speaker 1: stay there, both of them. I'd just like to point out, though, 401 00:28:43,755 --> 00:28:47,555 Speaker 1: that at least nine times in history the following has happened. 402 00:28:47,715 --> 00:28:50,675 Speaker 1: The best example probably dates to April twenty third of 403 00:28:50,755 --> 00:28:54,835 Speaker 1: nineteen ten here in the wonderful city, fun city itself, 404 00:28:55,155 --> 00:28:59,635 Speaker 1: New York, Gotham, a summer festival in the beautiful spring 405 00:28:59,675 --> 00:29:04,435 Speaker 1: of nineteen ten at the Brooklyn Beach Athletic Club. Young 406 00:29:04,795 --> 00:29:11,315 Speaker 1: Dutch a fighter faced Young Bets, another fighter. Everybody simply 407 00:29:11,315 --> 00:29:13,275 Speaker 1: took the name of a more famous fighter and put 408 00:29:13,355 --> 00:29:16,315 Speaker 1: Young in front of it. In those days. Young Dutch 409 00:29:16,635 --> 00:29:20,155 Speaker 1: and Young Bets fought at the Brooklyn Beach ac on 410 00:29:20,195 --> 00:29:23,475 Speaker 1: April twenty third, nineteen ten, and as they came out 411 00:29:23,515 --> 00:29:29,475 Speaker 1: from their corners, they simultaneously threw punches and simultaneously hit 412 00:29:29,555 --> 00:29:33,795 Speaker 1: each other on their respective jaws, and they both were 413 00:29:33,875 --> 00:29:39,075 Speaker 1: knocked out, carried to their corners helpless, and the referee 414 00:29:39,115 --> 00:29:43,675 Speaker 1: counted them both out a simultaneous knockout in which neither 415 00:29:43,795 --> 00:29:48,275 Speaker 1: of them won. Young Dutch and Young Bets have much 416 00:29:48,355 --> 00:29:52,715 Speaker 1: to teach Young Musk and Young Maduro about how to 417 00:29:52,755 --> 00:29:58,115 Speaker 1: have a fight live on national television. Nicholas Maduro and 418 00:29:58,155 --> 00:30:03,915 Speaker 1: Elon Musk dictators of their own tiny little worlds. Jess 419 00:30:03,995 --> 00:30:07,275 Speaker 1: keep thinking about Young Dutch and Young Bets two days, 420 00:30:08,355 --> 00:30:25,795 Speaker 1: worst persons in the clank world. The closest thing James 421 00:30:25,795 --> 00:30:29,235 Speaker 1: Thurber ever wrote to a novel was the story of 422 00:30:29,275 --> 00:30:33,475 Speaker 1: his childhood, somewhat exaggerated, or, according to his family, almost 423 00:30:33,475 --> 00:30:37,435 Speaker 1: completely exaggerated. It was called My Life and hard Times. 424 00:30:37,915 --> 00:30:40,635 Speaker 1: In it are stories like the night the bed fell 425 00:30:41,155 --> 00:30:44,755 Speaker 1: and such as that. But my favorite, perhaps of all 426 00:30:44,835 --> 00:30:50,795 Speaker 1: of his stories from his supposed youth, is called University Days. 427 00:30:51,835 --> 00:30:55,435 Speaker 1: There's a lot of Well you'll hear, there's a lot 428 00:30:55,475 --> 00:30:58,075 Speaker 1: of stuff in University Days, and so I present it 429 00:30:58,115 --> 00:31:01,475 Speaker 1: to you for the first time on Fridays with Thurber 430 00:31:02,955 --> 00:31:08,955 Speaker 1: University Days by James Thurpert. I've passed all the other 431 00:31:09,075 --> 00:31:11,395 Speaker 1: courses that I took at my university, but I could 432 00:31:11,395 --> 00:31:16,755 Speaker 1: never pass botany. This was because all botany students had 433 00:31:16,755 --> 00:31:18,995 Speaker 1: to spend several hours a week in a laboratory looking 434 00:31:18,995 --> 00:31:22,315 Speaker 1: through a microscope at plant cells, and I could never 435 00:31:22,475 --> 00:31:27,235 Speaker 1: see through a microscope. I never once saw a cell 436 00:31:27,475 --> 00:31:33,035 Speaker 1: through a microscope. This used to enrage my instructor. He 437 00:31:33,115 --> 00:31:36,515 Speaker 1: would wander around the laboratory, pleased with the progress all 438 00:31:36,555 --> 00:31:39,755 Speaker 1: the students were making and drawing the involved and so 439 00:31:39,915 --> 00:31:44,795 Speaker 1: I am told interesting structure of flower cells. Until he 440 00:31:44,835 --> 00:31:49,235 Speaker 1: came to me. I would just be standing there. I 441 00:31:49,275 --> 00:31:53,195 Speaker 1: can't see anything, I would say. He would begin patiently 442 00:31:53,315 --> 00:31:57,035 Speaker 1: enough explaining how anybody can see through a microscope, but 443 00:31:57,075 --> 00:31:59,595 Speaker 1: he would always end up in a fury, claiming that 444 00:31:59,675 --> 00:32:02,515 Speaker 1: I could too see through a microscope, but just pretended 445 00:32:02,515 --> 00:32:07,075 Speaker 1: that I couldn't takes away from the beauty of flowers anyway. 446 00:32:07,155 --> 00:32:09,395 Speaker 1: I used to tell him, we are not concerned with 447 00:32:09,475 --> 00:32:12,275 Speaker 1: the beauty in this course, he would say, we are 448 00:32:12,435 --> 00:32:18,795 Speaker 1: concerned solely with what I may call the mechanics of flowers. Well, 449 00:32:18,875 --> 00:32:24,475 Speaker 1: i'd say, I can't see anything. Try it just once again, 450 00:32:24,875 --> 00:32:27,235 Speaker 1: he'd say, And I would put my eye to the 451 00:32:27,235 --> 00:32:30,275 Speaker 1: microscope and see nothing at all, except now and again, 452 00:32:30,635 --> 00:32:37,315 Speaker 1: a nebulous milky substance, a phenomenon of maladjustment. You were 453 00:32:37,355 --> 00:32:41,235 Speaker 1: supposed to see a vivid, restless clockwork of sharply defined 454 00:32:41,275 --> 00:32:45,075 Speaker 1: plant cells. I see what looks like a lot of milk. 455 00:32:45,315 --> 00:32:48,195 Speaker 1: I would tell him. This, he claimed was the result 456 00:32:48,195 --> 00:32:51,835 Speaker 1: of my not having adjusted the microscope properly. So he 457 00:32:51,875 --> 00:32:55,235 Speaker 1: would readjust it for me, or rather for himself, and 458 00:32:55,315 --> 00:33:00,515 Speaker 1: I would look again and see milk. I finally took 459 00:33:00,555 --> 00:33:03,475 Speaker 1: a deferred pass, as they called it, and waited a 460 00:33:03,555 --> 00:33:06,955 Speaker 1: year and tried again. You had to pass one of 461 00:33:06,955 --> 00:33:10,795 Speaker 1: the biological sciences or you couldn't graduate. The professor had 462 00:33:10,795 --> 00:33:13,795 Speaker 1: come back from vacation brown as a berry, bright eyed 463 00:33:13,835 --> 00:33:17,715 Speaker 1: and eager to explain cell structure again to his classes. Well, 464 00:33:18,195 --> 00:33:20,115 Speaker 1: he said to me cheerily, when we met in the 465 00:33:20,195 --> 00:33:24,035 Speaker 1: laboratory first hour of the semester. We're going to see 466 00:33:24,075 --> 00:33:29,475 Speaker 1: cells this time, aren't we? Yes, sir, I said, students 467 00:33:29,635 --> 00:33:31,475 Speaker 1: to right of me, and to left of me, and 468 00:33:31,515 --> 00:33:33,835 Speaker 1: in front of me were seeing cells. What's more, they 469 00:33:33,835 --> 00:33:37,315 Speaker 1: were quietly drawing pictures of them in their notebooks. Of course, 470 00:33:37,475 --> 00:33:44,755 Speaker 1: I didn't see anything. We'll try it, the professor said 471 00:33:44,795 --> 00:33:49,315 Speaker 1: to me gently, with every adjustment of the microscope known 472 00:33:49,395 --> 00:33:54,315 Speaker 1: to man. As God is my witness, I'll arrange this 473 00:33:54,475 --> 00:33:58,395 Speaker 1: glass so that you see cells through it, or I'll 474 00:33:58,555 --> 00:34:04,195 Speaker 1: give up teaching. In twenty two years of botany I 475 00:34:06,195 --> 00:34:09,195 Speaker 1: he cut off abruptly, for he was beginning to quiver 476 00:34:09,475 --> 00:34:14,035 Speaker 1: all over, like Lionel Barrymore, and he genuinely wished to 477 00:34:14,075 --> 00:34:16,475 Speaker 1: hold on to his temper. His scenes with me had 478 00:34:16,475 --> 00:34:20,435 Speaker 1: taken a great deal out of him. As an editor's 479 00:34:20,435 --> 00:34:23,395 Speaker 1: note here, if you don't recognize the name Lionel Barrymore, 480 00:34:23,715 --> 00:34:26,515 Speaker 1: if you've ever seen the movie It's a Wonderful Life, 481 00:34:27,235 --> 00:34:31,555 Speaker 1: mister Potter, the evil financier in the wheelchair that was 482 00:34:31,595 --> 00:34:37,115 Speaker 1: played by Lionel Barrymore, who used to quiver all over. 483 00:34:38,155 --> 00:34:41,955 Speaker 1: Back to Thurber. So we tried it with every adjustment 484 00:34:41,955 --> 00:34:44,995 Speaker 1: of the microscope known to man. With only one of them, 485 00:34:45,035 --> 00:34:49,675 Speaker 1: did I see anything but blackness or the familiar lacteal opacity, 486 00:34:50,275 --> 00:34:53,035 Speaker 1: and that time I saw, to my pleasure and amazement, 487 00:34:53,355 --> 00:34:59,595 Speaker 1: a variegated constellation of flex specks and dots. These I 488 00:34:59,715 --> 00:35:03,235 Speaker 1: hastily drew. The instructor, noting my activity, came back from 489 00:35:03,275 --> 00:35:05,675 Speaker 1: an adjoining desk a smile, aile on his lips, his 490 00:35:05,755 --> 00:35:08,755 Speaker 1: eyebrows high in hope. He looked at my cell drawing. 491 00:35:09,875 --> 00:35:12,555 Speaker 1: What's that, he demanded, with a hint of squeal in 492 00:35:12,555 --> 00:35:16,155 Speaker 1: his voice. That's what I saw, I said, You didn't, 493 00:35:16,675 --> 00:35:20,715 Speaker 1: You didn't, You didn't, he screamed, losing control of his 494 00:35:20,755 --> 00:35:23,955 Speaker 1: temper instantly, and he bent over and squinted into the microscope. 495 00:35:24,155 --> 00:35:29,435 Speaker 1: His head snapped up. That's your eye, he shouted. You 496 00:35:29,595 --> 00:35:36,035 Speaker 1: fix the lens so that it reflects you've drawn your eye. 497 00:35:36,955 --> 00:35:40,395 Speaker 1: Another course that I didn't like but somehow managed to 498 00:35:40,475 --> 00:35:45,115 Speaker 1: pass was Economics. I went to that class straight from 499 00:35:45,155 --> 00:35:48,235 Speaker 1: the botany class, which didn't help me any in understanding 500 00:35:48,275 --> 00:35:51,915 Speaker 1: either subject. I used to get them mixed up, but 501 00:35:52,035 --> 00:35:54,755 Speaker 1: not as mixed up as another student in my economics 502 00:35:54,755 --> 00:35:57,955 Speaker 1: class who came there direct from a physics laboratory. He 503 00:35:58,115 --> 00:36:02,515 Speaker 1: was a tackle on the football team named Balensuwitz. At 504 00:36:02,515 --> 00:36:04,915 Speaker 1: the time, Ohio State university had one of the best 505 00:36:04,915 --> 00:36:08,235 Speaker 1: football teams in the country, and Balentsuwitz was one of 506 00:36:08,275 --> 00:36:12,395 Speaker 1: its outstanding stars. In order to be eligible to play, 507 00:36:12,435 --> 00:36:14,995 Speaker 1: it was necessary for him to keep up in his studies, 508 00:36:15,795 --> 00:36:20,035 Speaker 1: a very difficult matter, for while he was not dumber 509 00:36:20,075 --> 00:36:25,315 Speaker 1: than an ox, he was not any smarter. Most of 510 00:36:25,355 --> 00:36:29,035 Speaker 1: his professors were lenient and helped him along. None gave 511 00:36:29,115 --> 00:36:32,075 Speaker 1: him more hints in answering questions or asked him simpler 512 00:36:32,075 --> 00:36:37,395 Speaker 1: ones than the economics professor, a thin, timid man named Bassum. 513 00:36:38,035 --> 00:36:39,675 Speaker 1: One day, when when we were on the subject of 514 00:36:39,715 --> 00:36:44,595 Speaker 1: transportation and distribution, it became Balentsowitz's turn to answer a question. 515 00:36:46,155 --> 00:36:51,435 Speaker 1: Name one means of transportation, the professor said to him. 516 00:36:52,675 --> 00:36:56,595 Speaker 1: No light came into the big tackle's eyes. Just any 517 00:36:57,155 --> 00:37:04,155 Speaker 1: means of transportation, said the professor. Balentsuwitz sat staring at him. 518 00:37:05,235 --> 00:37:11,275 Speaker 1: That is, pursued the professor, any medium, agency, or method 519 00:37:11,355 --> 00:37:18,195 Speaker 1: of going from one place to another. Balentuwitz had the 520 00:37:18,195 --> 00:37:20,515 Speaker 1: look of a man who is being led into a trap. 521 00:37:21,515 --> 00:37:26,475 Speaker 1: You may choose among steam, horse drawn, or electrically propelled vehicles, 522 00:37:26,915 --> 00:37:29,955 Speaker 1: said the instructor. I might suggest the one which we 523 00:37:30,075 --> 00:37:37,915 Speaker 1: commonly take in making long journeys across land. There was 524 00:37:37,955 --> 00:37:45,995 Speaker 1: a profound silence in which everybody stirred uneasily, including Balentsuwitz 525 00:37:46,155 --> 00:37:52,395 Speaker 1: and mister Bassum. Mister Bassom abruptly broke this silence in 526 00:37:52,475 --> 00:37:59,155 Speaker 1: an amazing manner. Chew, Chew, chew, he said in a 527 00:37:59,235 --> 00:38:03,915 Speaker 1: low voice, and turned instantly scarlet. He glanced appealingly around 528 00:38:03,915 --> 00:38:06,355 Speaker 1: the room. All of us, of course, shared mister Bassom's 529 00:38:06,355 --> 00:38:09,395 Speaker 1: desire that Balentsuwitz would stay abreast of the class in 530 00:38:09,475 --> 00:38:11,715 Speaker 1: economics for the Illinois game, one of the hardest and 531 00:38:11,755 --> 00:38:17,675 Speaker 1: most important the season, was only a week off. Too, too, too, 532 00:38:17,995 --> 00:38:20,635 Speaker 1: Some student with a deep voice moaned, and we all 533 00:38:20,675 --> 00:38:24,955 Speaker 1: looked encouragingly at Balentsuwitz. Somebody else gave a fine imitation 534 00:38:25,035 --> 00:38:28,755 Speaker 1: of a locomotive letting off steam. Mister Bassom himself rounded 535 00:38:28,795 --> 00:38:34,955 Speaker 1: off the little shell. Ding Dong, ding dong, ding dong, 536 00:38:35,115 --> 00:38:39,715 Speaker 1: he said hopefully. Balentsowitz was staring at the floor now 537 00:38:40,315 --> 00:38:45,315 Speaker 1: trying to think. His great brow furrowed, his huge hands 538 00:38:45,395 --> 00:38:52,395 Speaker 1: rubbing together his face red. How did you come to 539 00:38:52,515 --> 00:38:58,755 Speaker 1: college this year, mister Balentowitz asked the professor. Chuff of chuff, chuff, chuff, 540 00:38:58,875 --> 00:39:03,275 Speaker 1: chuff with chuff my father sent me, said the football player. 541 00:39:05,635 --> 00:39:12,435 Speaker 1: What on, asked bassm A get loans, said the tackle 542 00:39:12,995 --> 00:39:18,355 Speaker 1: in a low husky voice, obviously embarrassed. No, no, said bassim. 543 00:39:18,755 --> 00:39:23,875 Speaker 1: Name a means of transportation? What did you ride here 544 00:39:24,035 --> 00:39:31,635 Speaker 1: on train? Said Bealensuitz. Quite right, said the professor. Now, 545 00:39:31,715 --> 00:39:36,635 Speaker 1: mister Nugent, will you tell us if I went through 546 00:39:36,675 --> 00:39:40,515 Speaker 1: anguish in botany and economics for different reasons. Gymnasium work 547 00:39:40,595 --> 00:39:43,155 Speaker 1: was even worse. I don't even like to think about it. 548 00:39:43,555 --> 00:39:45,755 Speaker 1: They wouldn't let you play games or join in the 549 00:39:45,835 --> 00:39:49,555 Speaker 1: exercises with your glasses on, and I couldn't see with 550 00:39:49,675 --> 00:39:55,315 Speaker 1: mine off. I bumped into professors, horizontal bars, agricultural students 551 00:39:55,595 --> 00:39:59,995 Speaker 1: swinging iron rings, not being able to see. I could 552 00:39:59,995 --> 00:40:03,595 Speaker 1: take it, but I couldn't dish it out. Also, in 553 00:40:03,715 --> 00:40:06,515 Speaker 1: order to pass gymnasium, and you had to pass it 554 00:40:06,555 --> 00:40:09,475 Speaker 1: to graduate, you had to learn to swim if you 555 00:40:09,515 --> 00:40:14,075 Speaker 1: didn't know how. I didn't like the swimming pool. I 556 00:40:14,075 --> 00:40:17,995 Speaker 1: didn't like swimming, and I didn't like the swimming instructor. 557 00:40:18,515 --> 00:40:23,595 Speaker 1: And after all these years, I still don't. I never swam, 558 00:40:24,235 --> 00:40:27,195 Speaker 1: but I passed my gym work anyway by having another 559 00:40:27,275 --> 00:40:31,955 Speaker 1: student give my gymnasium number nine seven eight and swim 560 00:40:31,955 --> 00:40:35,035 Speaker 1: across the pool in my place. He was a quiet, 561 00:40:35,115 --> 00:40:38,635 Speaker 1: amiable blonde youth number four seventy three, and he would 562 00:40:38,635 --> 00:40:40,555 Speaker 1: have seen through a microscope before me if we could 563 00:40:40,555 --> 00:40:42,875 Speaker 1: have gotten away with that. But we couldn't get away 564 00:40:42,915 --> 00:40:45,795 Speaker 1: with that. Another thing I didn't like about gymnasium work 565 00:40:45,875 --> 00:40:48,315 Speaker 1: was that they made you strip the day you registered. 566 00:40:48,915 --> 00:40:51,315 Speaker 1: It is impossible for me to be happy when I 567 00:40:51,355 --> 00:40:55,075 Speaker 1: am stripped and being asked a lot of questions. Still, 568 00:40:55,755 --> 00:40:58,355 Speaker 1: I did better than a lanky agricultural student who was 569 00:40:58,395 --> 00:41:02,075 Speaker 1: cross examined just before I was. They asked each student 570 00:41:02,155 --> 00:41:05,955 Speaker 1: what college he was in, that is, whether art, engineering, commerce, 571 00:41:06,035 --> 00:41:10,355 Speaker 1: or agriculture. What college are you in? The instructor snapped 572 00:41:10,395 --> 00:41:13,595 Speaker 1: at the youth in front of me, Ohio State University. 573 00:41:14,195 --> 00:41:19,435 Speaker 1: He said promptly, it wasn't that agricultural student, but it 574 00:41:19,435 --> 00:41:21,595 Speaker 1: was another a whole lot like him, who decided to 575 00:41:21,595 --> 00:41:24,315 Speaker 1: take up journalism, possibly on the ground that when farming 576 00:41:24,355 --> 00:41:26,435 Speaker 1: went to hell, he could fall back on newspaper work. 577 00:41:27,115 --> 00:41:29,715 Speaker 1: He didn't realize, of course, that that would be very 578 00:41:29,795 --> 00:41:31,875 Speaker 1: much like falling back full length on a kit of 579 00:41:31,915 --> 00:41:37,395 Speaker 1: Carpenter's tools. Haskins didn't seem cut out for journalism, being 580 00:41:37,515 --> 00:41:40,475 Speaker 1: too embarrassed to talk to anybody and unable to use 581 00:41:40,475 --> 00:41:43,595 Speaker 1: a typewriter, but the editor of the college paper assigned 582 00:41:43,675 --> 00:41:46,955 Speaker 1: him to the cow barns, the sheep house, the horse pavilion, 583 00:41:46,995 --> 00:41:52,195 Speaker 1: and the animal husbandry department. Generally, this was a genuinely 584 00:41:52,355 --> 00:41:56,235 Speaker 1: big beat, for took up five times as much ground 585 00:41:56,275 --> 00:42:00,035 Speaker 1: and got ten times as great a legislative appropriation as 586 00:42:00,075 --> 00:42:04,595 Speaker 1: the College of Liberal Arts. The agricultural student knew animals, 587 00:42:05,155 --> 00:42:09,395 Speaker 1: but nevertheless, his stories were dull and colorlessly written. He 588 00:42:09,515 --> 00:42:13,235 Speaker 1: took all afternoon on each of them on account of 589 00:42:13,235 --> 00:42:17,555 Speaker 1: having to hunt for each letter on the typewriter. Once 590 00:42:17,595 --> 00:42:19,715 Speaker 1: in a while he had to ask somebody to help 591 00:42:19,755 --> 00:42:25,275 Speaker 1: him hunt. C and L in particular, were hard letters 592 00:42:25,275 --> 00:42:28,955 Speaker 1: for him to find. His editor finally got pretty much 593 00:42:28,995 --> 00:42:31,395 Speaker 1: annoyed at the farmer journalists because his pieces were so 594 00:42:31,595 --> 00:42:35,315 Speaker 1: uninteresting see here, Haskins. He snapped at him one day, 595 00:42:35,635 --> 00:42:37,835 Speaker 1: why is it we never have anything hot from you 596 00:42:37,915 --> 00:42:40,675 Speaker 1: on the horse pavilion Here we have two hundred head 597 00:42:40,675 --> 00:42:43,315 Speaker 1: of horses on this campus, more than any other university 598 00:42:43,355 --> 00:42:46,475 Speaker 1: in the Western Conference except Purdue, and yet you never 599 00:42:46,515 --> 00:42:49,635 Speaker 1: get any real low down on them. Now shoot over 600 00:42:49,675 --> 00:42:54,155 Speaker 1: to the horse barns and dig up something lively. Haskins 601 00:42:54,275 --> 00:42:57,715 Speaker 1: shambled out and came back in about an hour. He 602 00:42:57,755 --> 00:43:01,235 Speaker 1: said he had something. Well tart it off, snappily, said 603 00:43:01,235 --> 00:43:05,595 Speaker 1: the editor, something people will read. Sent to work, and 604 00:43:05,635 --> 00:43:07,995 Speaker 1: in a couple of hours brought a sheet of typewritten 605 00:43:08,035 --> 00:43:10,595 Speaker 1: paper to the desk. It was a two hundred word 606 00:43:10,675 --> 00:43:14,195 Speaker 1: story about some disease that had broken out among the horses. 607 00:43:14,755 --> 00:43:20,515 Speaker 1: Its opening sentence was simple but arresting. It read, who 608 00:43:20,595 --> 00:43:23,555 Speaker 1: has noticed the sores on the tops of the horses 609 00:43:23,595 --> 00:43:29,555 Speaker 1: in the animal husbandry building. Ohio State was a land 610 00:43:29,595 --> 00:43:33,435 Speaker 1: grant university, and therefore two years of military drill was compulsory. 611 00:43:33,835 --> 00:43:37,075 Speaker 1: We drilled with old Springfield rifles and studied the tactics 612 00:43:37,075 --> 00:43:39,315 Speaker 1: of the Civil War, even though the World War was 613 00:43:39,355 --> 00:43:42,315 Speaker 1: going on at the time. At eleven o'clock each morning, 614 00:43:42,355 --> 00:43:45,755 Speaker 1: thousands of freshmen and sophomores used to deploy over the campus, 615 00:43:46,035 --> 00:43:49,795 Speaker 1: moodily creeping up on the old chemistry building. It was 616 00:43:49,835 --> 00:43:52,235 Speaker 1: good training for the kind of warfare that was waged 617 00:43:52,275 --> 00:43:55,235 Speaker 1: at Shiloh, but it had no connection with what was 618 00:43:55,275 --> 00:43:58,715 Speaker 1: going on in Europe. Some people used to think that 619 00:43:58,755 --> 00:44:02,395 Speaker 1: there was German money behind it, but they didn't dare 620 00:44:02,555 --> 00:44:04,995 Speaker 1: say that, or they would have been thrown in as 621 00:44:05,075 --> 00:44:09,635 Speaker 1: German spies. It was a period of muddy thought and marked, 622 00:44:09,635 --> 00:44:12,875 Speaker 1: I believe, the decline of higher education in the Middle West. 623 00:44:14,075 --> 00:44:17,275 Speaker 1: As a soldier, I was never any good at all. 624 00:44:18,155 --> 00:44:22,315 Speaker 1: Most of the cadets were glumly indifferent soldiers, but I 625 00:44:22,475 --> 00:44:27,835 Speaker 1: was no good at all. Once General Littlefield, who was 626 00:44:27,915 --> 00:44:30,835 Speaker 1: commandant of the Cadet Corps, popped up in front of 627 00:44:30,875 --> 00:44:34,235 Speaker 1: me during regimental drill and snapped, you are the main 628 00:44:34,395 --> 00:44:38,915 Speaker 1: trouble with this university. I think he meant that my 629 00:44:39,195 --> 00:44:42,075 Speaker 1: type was the main trouble with the university, but he 630 00:44:42,155 --> 00:44:46,635 Speaker 1: may have met me individually. I was mediocre at drill, certainly, 631 00:44:47,195 --> 00:44:50,795 Speaker 1: that is until my senior year. By that time I 632 00:44:50,875 --> 00:44:53,955 Speaker 1: had drilled longer than anybody else in the Western Conference, 633 00:44:54,435 --> 00:44:57,475 Speaker 1: having failed at military at the end of each preceding year, 634 00:44:57,675 --> 00:44:59,635 Speaker 1: so that I had to do it all over again. 635 00:44:59,795 --> 00:45:03,795 Speaker 1: I was the only seniors still in uniform. The uniform, 636 00:45:03,835 --> 00:45:05,755 Speaker 1: which when new had it made me look like an 637 00:45:05,795 --> 00:45:10,395 Speaker 1: interurban railway conductor. Now that it had become faded and 638 00:45:10,435 --> 00:45:13,835 Speaker 1: too tight, made me look like Bert Williams in his 639 00:45:14,035 --> 00:45:20,595 Speaker 1: Bellboy Act. This had a definitely bad effect on my morale. 640 00:45:22,075 --> 00:45:25,115 Speaker 1: Even so, I had become, by sheer practice little short 641 00:45:25,155 --> 00:45:30,515 Speaker 1: of wonderful at squad maneuvers. One day, General Littlefield picked 642 00:45:30,515 --> 00:45:32,635 Speaker 1: our company out of the whole regiment, tried to get 643 00:45:32,635 --> 00:45:35,195 Speaker 1: it mixed up by putting it through one movement after 644 00:45:35,235 --> 00:45:37,715 Speaker 1: another as fast as we could execute them. Squad's right, 645 00:45:37,795 --> 00:45:40,475 Speaker 1: squad's left, squad's on right into line, squad's right, about 646 00:45:40,555 --> 00:45:44,675 Speaker 1: squad's left, front into line, et cetera. In about three minutes, 647 00:45:44,835 --> 00:45:48,795 Speaker 1: one hundred and nine men were marching in one direction, 648 00:45:49,635 --> 00:45:52,635 Speaker 1: and I was marching away from them at an angle 649 00:45:52,715 --> 00:45:58,635 Speaker 1: of forty degrees, all alone. Company halt, shouted General Littlefield, 650 00:45:58,995 --> 00:46:03,195 Speaker 1: that man is the only man who has it right. 651 00:46:05,155 --> 00:46:11,075 Speaker 1: I was made a corporal for my achievement. The next day, 652 00:46:11,115 --> 00:46:14,315 Speaker 1: General Littlefield summoned me to his office. He was swatting 653 00:46:14,355 --> 00:46:16,915 Speaker 1: flies when I came in. I was silent, and he 654 00:46:16,995 --> 00:46:19,635 Speaker 1: was silent too. For a long time. I don't think 655 00:46:19,635 --> 00:46:22,315 Speaker 1: he remembered me or why he had sent for me, 656 00:46:22,755 --> 00:46:25,955 Speaker 1: But he didn't want to admit that. He swatted some 657 00:46:25,995 --> 00:46:28,475 Speaker 1: more flies, keeping his eyes on them. Narrowly before he 658 00:46:28,555 --> 00:46:31,195 Speaker 1: let go with the swatter. But not up your coat, 659 00:46:31,595 --> 00:46:36,595 Speaker 1: he snapped. Looking back on it. Now I can see 660 00:46:36,635 --> 00:46:39,675 Speaker 1: that he meant me, although he was looking at a fly. 661 00:46:41,075 --> 00:46:43,835 Speaker 1: But I just stood there. Another fly came to rest 662 00:46:43,835 --> 00:46:45,315 Speaker 1: on a paper in front of the General and began 663 00:46:45,395 --> 00:46:49,035 Speaker 1: rubbing its hind legs together. The General lifted the swatter cautiously. 664 00:46:50,035 --> 00:46:53,875 Speaker 1: I moved restlessly, and the fly flew away. You startle them, 665 00:46:54,155 --> 00:46:58,315 Speaker 1: barked General Littlefield, looking at me severely. I said I 666 00:46:58,395 --> 00:47:02,355 Speaker 1: was sorry. That won't help the situation, snapped the General 667 00:47:02,435 --> 00:47:06,275 Speaker 1: with cold military logic. I didn't see what I could do, 668 00:47:06,355 --> 00:47:09,235 Speaker 1: except offered to chase some more flies toward his desk, 669 00:47:09,315 --> 00:47:12,835 Speaker 1: but I didn't say anything. He stared out the window 670 00:47:12,875 --> 00:47:15,155 Speaker 1: at the far away figures of co ed's crossing the 671 00:47:15,195 --> 00:47:18,995 Speaker 1: campus towards the library. Finally he told me I could go, 672 00:47:20,075 --> 00:47:23,995 Speaker 1: so I went. He either didn't know which cadet I was, 673 00:47:24,115 --> 00:47:26,315 Speaker 1: or else he forgot what he wanted to see me about. 674 00:47:27,155 --> 00:47:30,075 Speaker 1: It may have been that he wished to apologize for 675 00:47:30,155 --> 00:47:32,715 Speaker 1: having called me the main trouble with the university, or 676 00:47:32,755 --> 00:47:35,755 Speaker 1: maybe he had decided to compliment me on my brilliant 677 00:47:35,835 --> 00:47:38,835 Speaker 1: drilling of the day before, and then at the last 678 00:47:38,835 --> 00:47:45,235 Speaker 1: minute decided not to. I don't know, I don't think 679 00:47:45,235 --> 00:48:00,875 Speaker 1: about it much anymore. What was the last time you 680 00:48:00,915 --> 00:48:06,915 Speaker 1: heard of anybody having spirits of camphor their room at night? Eh? 681 00:48:07,075 --> 00:48:09,715 Speaker 1: I have some camphor over here, and I got a 682 00:48:09,715 --> 00:48:16,235 Speaker 1: big box of Frankenson's and a few leeches. I've done 683 00:48:16,235 --> 00:48:18,155 Speaker 1: all the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. 684 00:48:18,195 --> 00:48:22,395 Speaker 1: Brian Ray and John Phillip Shanelle, the musical directors of Countdown, arranged, produced, 685 00:48:22,435 --> 00:48:25,315 Speaker 1: and performed most of our music. Mister Chanelle was the 686 00:48:25,315 --> 00:48:28,675 Speaker 1: one handling orchestration and keyboards. Mister Ray was on guitar, 687 00:48:28,875 --> 00:48:32,115 Speaker 1: bass and drums, and it was produced by Tko Brothers. 688 00:48:32,515 --> 00:48:35,675 Speaker 1: Our satirical and pithy musical comments are by the best 689 00:48:35,675 --> 00:48:39,395 Speaker 1: baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust. The sports music is 690 00:48:39,435 --> 00:48:42,595 Speaker 1: the Olderman theme from ESPN two. It was written by 691 00:48:42,635 --> 00:48:46,595 Speaker 1: Mitch Warren Davis Curtesy of ESPN Inc. Other music was 692 00:48:46,715 --> 00:48:49,795 Speaker 1: arranged and performed by the group No Horns Allowed. My 693 00:48:49,835 --> 00:48:53,235 Speaker 1: announcer today was my friend Kenny Maine. The Thurber, of course, 694 00:48:53,355 --> 00:48:57,955 Speaker 1: was by Thurber, James Thurber, and everything else was pretty 695 00:48:58,035 --> 00:49:02,155 Speaker 1: much as usual my fault. That's countdown for this the 696 00:49:02,275 --> 00:49:05,115 Speaker 1: ninety sixth day until the two thousand and twenty four 697 00:49:05,155 --> 00:49:09,715 Speaker 1: presidential election, the three d and third day since convicted 698 00:49:09,715 --> 00:49:13,635 Speaker 1: felon Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected 699 00:49:13,675 --> 00:49:17,675 Speaker 1: government of the United States. Use the September eighteenth sentencing hearing. 700 00:49:18,075 --> 00:49:21,515 Speaker 1: Use the mental health system. You've got it, mister president. 701 00:49:21,795 --> 00:49:25,755 Speaker 1: Use presidential immunity to stop him from doing it again. 702 00:49:25,835 --> 00:49:31,915 Speaker 1: While waste doll can and also anti semitic, anti immigration Republicans, 703 00:49:32,155 --> 00:49:36,955 Speaker 1: please stop shooting at Trump. The next scheduled countdown and 704 00:49:37,035 --> 00:49:41,915 Speaker 1: yes we are in year three of this series, that'll 705 00:49:41,955 --> 00:49:46,835 Speaker 1: be Tuesday bulletins as always as the news requires until 706 00:49:46,835 --> 00:49:49,515 Speaker 1: the next one. I'm Keith Olderman. Good morning, good afternoon, 707 00:49:49,595 --> 00:50:04,275 Speaker 1: good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is 708 00:50:04,315 --> 00:50:09,235 Speaker 1: a reduction of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit 709 00:50:09,275 --> 00:50:13,955 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.