Speaker 1: Personal Life.
Speaker 2: With Dames Duelsman.
Speaker 3: It's the start of a new series and I'm very
Speaker 3: ready for you guys to hear these episodes. Remy and
Speaker 3: I have been volunteering as a pet therapy team at
Speaker 3: Apes Garden for several years now. It's a senior living
Speaker 3: community and they have memory care support and we've been
Speaker 3: part of this community for so long that it's become
Speaker 3: really part of our routine of life. And this week
Speaker 3: I get to bring on some of the incredible employees
Speaker 3: who make a senior living community like Abes Garden actually
Speaker 3: work and function every hour of every day. So joining
Speaker 3: this week is Mallory Grimes, the manager of Community Programs,
Speaker 3: Chris Cowello, who is the chief operating officer, and Valerie Snyder,
Speaker 3: the life Engagement manager, and those three are going to
Speaker 3: share what their jobs mean and how they got into
Speaker 3: to senior living community work and why it's necessary for
Speaker 3: people to get involved. So let's do this. I'm joined
Speaker 3: by Mallory who has been working at Abess Garden for
Speaker 3: a long time, and we're showing a different side of
Speaker 3: the senior living community and I'm really excited for you
Speaker 3: guys to hear this. Mallori how are you.
Speaker 1: I'm good, how are you good?
Speaker 3: Thank you for being here, of course, So tell everyone
Speaker 3: how long you've been working in this field and kind
Speaker 3: of how you got into it.
Speaker 1: Your story. Yeah, So I've been working at Abes Garden
Speaker 1: for eight years. It was really my.
Speaker 4: First job out of college.
Speaker 1: I've been here since I graduated. But I grew up
Speaker 1: really close with my grandparents. I was lucky enough to
Speaker 1: spend time with them on the weekends, get dinner during
Speaker 1: the week They'd come to all my games, very supportive,
Speaker 1: and I would even hang out with their friends as
Speaker 1: well from church. They all watched me grow up really
Speaker 1: comfortable with this population, but I didn't know if I
Speaker 1: could handle it emotionally, and my grandpa and I were
Speaker 1: especially close, and he died while I was in college
Speaker 1: pretty unexpectedly, But I ended up choosing social work. I
Speaker 1: knew I wanted to help people, but wasn't sure if
Speaker 1: I could handle it, and so I did my internships
Speaker 1: with older adults and really enjoyed it, and I've been
Speaker 1: here ever since.
Speaker 3: So you mentioned that you weren't sure if you were
Speaker 3: going to be able to handle it emotionally. When did
Speaker 3: that change? And you were like I have to do this.
Speaker 1: I think it was just worth it. I think I
Speaker 1: just decided that it feels so natural. I knew that
Speaker 1: this is what I wanted to do. In some ways,
Speaker 1: I think it was a way to honor my grandpa,
Speaker 1: but it just felt very natural. And I worked really
Speaker 1: hard in school. I worked hard to make good grades,
Speaker 1: but I feel like I have a really high emotional intelligence,
Speaker 1: and so it was really a gift to finally find
Speaker 1: a field where I could use that in social skills
Speaker 1: and just have fun.
Speaker 3: And you say that there was part of that with
Speaker 3: your grandpa that inspired that. Do you feel like when
Speaker 3: you're doing your job in your day to day life,
Speaker 3: are you thinking of him and the things that would
Speaker 3: help him or would have or things that you wish
Speaker 3: you could have done with him that allows you to
Speaker 3: do what you do so well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there's so much that I wish I
Speaker 1: could ask him, knowing what I know now, the songs
Speaker 1: that we've learned, or the.
Speaker 4: Stories I've heard, what his life was like early on.
Speaker 1: I was only eighteen or nineteen when he passed, and
Speaker 1: so I've grown so much and learned so much.
Speaker 4: From the people here that I wish I could share
Speaker 4: as well.
Speaker 1: I think he would love to have come seen me
Speaker 1: here and met everyone that I care so much about.
Speaker 1: But I do feel like I honor his legacy, and
Speaker 1: I've even met people here that actually knew him, so
Speaker 1: that was really special.
Speaker 3: Was that a moment where You're like, this is where
Speaker 3: I'm meant to be, this is.
Speaker 1: What I'm meant to be doing When that happened, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it was probably my second year here, and
Speaker 1: my grandpa was from West Tennessee, like two hours from here,
Speaker 1: in the middle of nowhere, so it doesn't make any sense,
Speaker 1: but I realized that they played football together. Found an
Speaker 1: old yearbook and the whole first page was from this residence,
Speaker 1: so they ended up being best friends. It was such
Speaker 1: a small world, but yeah, I was able to learn
Speaker 1: some stories that I hadn't heard about my grandpa from
Speaker 1: someone that had late stage Alzheimer's and happened to remember.
Speaker 5: Who he was.
Speaker 3: Was that because you also work very closely. You've brought
Speaker 3: a program to Apesgarden that helps Alzheimer's within the community
Speaker 3: outside of this building, you see firsthand what that looks like.
Speaker 3: And then you have this moment with someone where one
Speaker 3: of their memories that they're having in the late stage
Speaker 3: is of your grandfather. What did that feel like?
Speaker 1: I don't know. In a way, it felt very surreal
Speaker 1: in full circle. And my grandpa confided in me one time,
Speaker 1: we were just going to lunch. It was quiet drive.
Speaker 1: He always took back roads that he admitted that his
Speaker 1: biggest fear was getting Alzheimer's, and he passed pretty suddenly.
Speaker 1: But I think I'm grateful that I never had to
Speaker 1: see him suffer. I'm grateful that he didn't have to
Speaker 1: go through that. But in some ways, I think that
Speaker 1: it's almost like paying it forward. I guess I know
Speaker 1: that he would have been well taken care of. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess that makes sense.
Speaker 3: It does. And you speak of these kind of emotional
Speaker 3: moments when you are in this job and you're here
Speaker 3: every day, you're in it and you're seeing all these residents.
Speaker 3: What are the really cool moments that you're so happy
Speaker 3: to be part of, and what are the really hard
Speaker 3: ones that maybe people don't think about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say some of the hardest moments or
Speaker 1: the hardest.
Speaker 4: Parts of this job, I would say would.
Speaker 1: Be grief and then work life balance. Sometimes. I mean
Speaker 1: there's seasons of griefs that are so much fun. There's
Speaker 1: seasons where that loss is coming, and there's moments where
Speaker 1: it's so unexpected and it kind of catches the whole
Speaker 1: community off guard. So just finding different ways to cope,
Speaker 1: noticing the warning signs in myself when you can feel
Speaker 1: that burnout coming, or yeah, I'm always looking for different
Speaker 1: ways to work on that in myself. And then work
Speaker 1: life balance. I'm sure everyone feels that, but I think
Speaker 1: because this job is so people oriented, it can really
Speaker 1: take a toll. I spend more time with the people
Speaker 1: here than my own family or my own friends, and
Speaker 1: so how do you not take that home right? And
Speaker 1: it affects you. But I think being so relational is
Speaker 1: also the best part of the job. And I might
Speaker 1: it might take a toll on me, but I know
Speaker 1: that I'm good at it and they would sense it.
Speaker 1: If I pulled back. If this was just a paycheck,
Speaker 1: I don't think I would be making nearly as much
Speaker 1: of a difference.
Speaker 3: Does it feel good when you are ending a day
Speaker 3: and you're just like, I feel like that really mattered?
Speaker 3: Is that a lot of days for you in doing
Speaker 3: this job?
Speaker 1: Yes, I would say that's definitely the best part that
Speaker 1: I can I can get up every day and leave
Speaker 1: every day, and I don't have to wonder if I've
Speaker 1: made a difference or whether or not they're going to
Speaker 1: make a difference in my life.
Speaker 3: And you create these really close relationships with so many
Speaker 3: of them. I feel like you get to have more
Speaker 3: relationships in your life than most people because of this job.
Speaker 3: Does that ever stick out to you as you're thinking
Speaker 3: about this job and the career that you've chosen.
Speaker 1: Yes, the relationship part is the best part. And what's
Speaker 1: funny is when they know just as much about my life,
Speaker 1: Like I can catch myself and like, I don't know
Speaker 1: why I.
Speaker 4: Told you that they know all your secret how is
Speaker 4: your date?
Speaker 1: Or how is this? Or how are your parents? Or
Speaker 1: they keep up with my nieces and nephews. They love
Speaker 1: to look at pictures, and it's a good reminder that
Speaker 1: no matter what they're going through or why they're here,
Speaker 1: that they have just as much to offer as they
Speaker 1: ever have.
Speaker 3: Do you use them as people to share advice because
Speaker 3: they have so much knowledge, so much wisdom and things
Speaker 3: that they've been through. So when you're going through things,
Speaker 3: do you ever be like, hey, I need some thoughts
Speaker 3: on this. Does that also help them stay incorporated really
Speaker 3: into the life outside of these walls and what's happening here?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so. And I primarily work with people
Speaker 1: with like younger onset or early stage Alzheimer's, and so
Speaker 1: that's a big thing that I try to educate people
Speaker 1: on is they still have just as much purpose and
Speaker 1: just as much to offer. I think the best parts
Speaker 1: are when you're running around trying to get everything done
Speaker 1: on your to do list and they stop me and say, hey,
Speaker 1: are you okay? Like what's going on? There's still that
Speaker 1: emotional human connection where they can tell if I'm having
Speaker 1: a bad day, and there's grace. And it's not just
Speaker 1: a business, it's a family. My coworkers are the same way,
Speaker 1: and so it's kind of a again, how would you
Speaker 1: not get attached when you're spending every day with these people.
Speaker 1: It's the best part of the job.
Speaker 3: And when you're looking at this job and you were
Speaker 3: working here and you decided to create this program, which
Speaker 3: is so awesome of what you do. Touched on the
Speaker 3: program a little bit before I ask you this question,
Speaker 3: what is the program that you started and why was
Speaker 3: that such an important thing to start.
Speaker 1: So I'm the community programs manager here and we have
Speaker 1: different day programs for different levels of people with dementia,
Speaker 1: but I run.
Speaker 4: The social support groups the early stage.
Speaker 1: Younger onset.
Speaker 4: It's a couple days a week.
Speaker 1: My job is to keep them as independent for as
Speaker 1: long as possible. The things that people face in the
Speaker 1: early stages, you know, maybe giving up your keys the
Speaker 1: earliest signs. What did you notice maybe getting official diagnosis,
Speaker 1: or having to sell your house. Some people don't have
Speaker 1: any family left, so being that community that saves space.
Speaker 1: But I think helping people process as much as they
Speaker 1: can early on and plan ahead makes the rest of
Speaker 1: the journey a little easier.
Speaker 3: And did you see this need for this as you
Speaker 3: were working in Apsgarden? Why did you feel it was
Speaker 3: so important for this type of program to exist.
Speaker 1: I actually I had a mentor that used to work here.
Speaker 1: We met here and she left to go back to school,
Speaker 1: but she was here and kind of got it off
Speaker 1: the ground. It started as a grant based program, and
Speaker 1: they were like, it seems like we can't find anything
Speaker 1: else for people with early stage Alzheimer's and dementia. Let's
Speaker 1: see if the need is out there. Let's just try
Speaker 1: and get it off the ground. And it went for
Speaker 1: a year grant based, and everyone wanted to stay on.
Speaker 1: It was full and that was probably back in twenty
Speaker 1: eighteen and it's still going strong. It survived. I did
Speaker 1: it all online during COVID. We went around and taught
Speaker 1: everyone how to use their computers, and we started a
Speaker 1: support group for the families who were now full time
Speaker 1: caregivers at home during a pandemic. It's definitely something that
Speaker 1: I'm very, very proud to be a part of.
Speaker 3: I feel like you're the one person that would have
Speaker 3: this knowledge to answer this in the space of dementia Alzheimer's.
Speaker 3: What's something misunderstood that we maybe quite not see, Maybe
Speaker 3: family members don't quite understand or know when this is
Speaker 3: starting to happen. What is that that you're a witness
Speaker 3: scene and be like dang, I wish I could communicate
Speaker 3: this to people to make whether the process easier or
Speaker 3: understanding what's happening to their loved one better. Across the board,
Speaker 3: this is open end in whichever direction.
Speaker 1: You want to go.
Speaker 3: But I feel like you're someone who has seen just
Speaker 3: about everything and you can speak to stuff that we
Speaker 3: might not understand.
Speaker 1: I would say, especially in early stages, just communicating with
Speaker 1: them directly. I think there's a lot of like hush
Speaker 1: hush behind the scenes. You start to make plans without
Speaker 1: including them, and I know that's not going to apply
Speaker 1: to people in later stages. I know that usually, but
Speaker 1: as much as they can be a part of I
Speaker 1: think it's important. And then a lot of things that
Speaker 1: I hear is just let me try. You don't have
Speaker 1: to do everything for me. If I can do it,
Speaker 1: let me do it. And if you know that I can't,
Speaker 1: let me try, or you don't pointing out every time
Speaker 1: I repeat myself. And a lot of that is just education,
Speaker 1: and so I'll educate my group members too. It's like,
Speaker 1: why don't you say if you can stop me if
Speaker 1: I've told you this, or let me know if I've
Speaker 1: said this already whicheff be prepared for the answer. Just
Speaker 1: little things that can be really triggering for people, but
Speaker 1: I think just helping them be as independent as possible.
Speaker 3: What are some signs of Alzheimer's or dementia that maybe
Speaker 3: we don't know about because the memory loss is the
Speaker 3: one that people most recognize, is there other things that
Speaker 3: people should be looking out for.
Speaker 1: It's so different for everyone. I think that's one thing
Speaker 1: that's challenging too. I could put one hundred people with
Speaker 1: the same exact diagnosis, and it's going to be different
Speaker 1: for everyone, which is another thing that's hard to grasp.
Speaker 1: But for some people it might be speech. For some
Speaker 1: people it's word recall, or maybe their thoughts are totally fine,
Speaker 1: but you'll notice that putting it to paper what they're
Speaker 1: thinking is hard, or just certain decisions they make. I
Speaker 1: would say the most recent person I talked to said
Speaker 1: that he probably noticed signs in his forties but didn't
Speaker 1: notice it in himself. I think that's hard to come
Speaker 1: to terms with. But it was just little things like
Speaker 1: maybe getting lost and not wanting to admit it.
Speaker 4: There's a lot that people can.
Speaker 1: Hide, but not with malicious intent, just.
Speaker 4: To be protective or they're scared.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: See, And this is why I wanted you to share that,
Speaker 3: because I think that's really important for family members to
Speaker 3: understand and just be paying attention a little bit. What's
Speaker 3: something you've learned from all your experience and doing this
Speaker 3: job and the work that you do and spending time
Speaker 3: with as many of the senior living community. As you have,
Speaker 3: What's something you've learned from them?
Speaker 1: Honestly, probably to never stop learning that they That's probably
Speaker 1: something that we preach here that you can teach an
Speaker 1: old dog new tricks, and we love doing new things here.
Speaker 4: But they have so many stories and so.
Speaker 1: Many experiences and so much to offer. And I love words,
Speaker 1: and I'm constantly running down quotes and words of wisdom
Speaker 1: that kind of sticks with me. It really resonates with me,
Speaker 1: and I definitely think that's one thing I've learned. I
Speaker 1: get yelled at if I don't have plans on a weekend.
Speaker 1: Every single day. I have a woman that asks me,
Speaker 1: why are you tired? Did you stay out all night?
Speaker 1: And I'll say no, and she's like, well why not?
Speaker 1: You should be you know, So I get in trouble
Speaker 1: if I'm not out drinking or hang out with friends.
Speaker 1: They're just great influences in my life and you can't
Speaker 1: really put a price on it. And if I could
Speaker 1: share something, I would really encourage our generation to get
Speaker 1: involved in pick a community or pick an older adult,
Speaker 1: a neighbor or something, and just form a connection, because
Speaker 1: I think isolation is really important. To pay attention to
Speaker 1: and none of us are meant to be alone.
Speaker 3: Community is very important. Yeah, well, Mallory, we're about to
Speaker 3: wrap up. Is there any last things that we didn't
Speaker 3: get to, something you might want to share that is
Speaker 3: so important or on your heart.
Speaker 4: I do feel like you have to be called to
Speaker 4: this field.
Speaker 1: So for those that are impaths and just sweet and
Speaker 1: kind and called to this field, just being mindful of again,
Speaker 1: of the signs of burnout. I'm always grateful to be here,
Speaker 1: but we do have to take care of ourselves and
Speaker 1: whether it's a hobby or trips or however you choose
Speaker 1: to take care of yourself. Just encouraging people that I
Speaker 1: feel like we lose a lot of people that were
Speaker 1: born to do this because it gets so overwhelming so fast,
Speaker 1: and so just being protective of your heart and your
Speaker 1: mind and loving people and figuring out how to take
Speaker 1: care of yourself in the process.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Mallori for being here and hanging
Speaker 3: out and sharing on your story.
Speaker 1: You're welcome, Thanks for having me.
Speaker 3: Valerie Snyder joins me right now. She has somebody that
Speaker 3: I've worked with at Apes Garden for several years now.
Speaker 3: She was my first coordinator as Remy and I joined
Speaker 3: on Valerie. Thanks for being here, Thanks for having me.
Speaker 3: Are you scared, nervous all the things? Absolutely, it's going
Speaker 3: to be great.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 3: You're a wonderful human and I've known that from the
Speaker 3: day that I met you and all the work that
Speaker 3: we've done together, and I'm really excited for you to
Speaker 3: share some of your stories. So tell us why you
Speaker 3: got into this line of work in your role here
Speaker 3: at Apes Garden.
Speaker 6: I would say as a young girl, I was just
Speaker 6: comfortable with older adults or seniors, and my sister and
Speaker 6: I would go and write cards and pass them out
Speaker 6: when we would go see my great aunt at a
Speaker 6: nursing home. I was just always comfortable with gray hair
Speaker 6: and aging individuals. And my grandmother, my Grandma Smith, would
Speaker 6: actually take me along to what was called ruth Helm's
Speaker 6: prayer group as a child, and it was just this
Speaker 6: big group circle where all these ladies would sit around
Speaker 6: and pass around cards and everyone would write a card
Speaker 6: to someone and it could be someone that was a
Speaker 6: shut in it's not getting out of the house, or
Speaker 6: someone that had a surgery or wasn't feeling well. And
Speaker 6: so I learned from a very young age just the
Speaker 6: love of card writing from my grandmother, and that was
Speaker 6: one thing that I think nowadays has gone away very
Speaker 6: lost art. Yes, so I just remember being a part
Speaker 6: of that group, and I was as a kid, and
Speaker 6: then everyone else was so much older and being okay
Speaker 6: with it or comfortable. And fast forward going into my
Speaker 6: adult years. I studied songwriting for a couple of years overseas,
Speaker 6: and I studied the Bible for a year in Florida,
Speaker 6: and I really wasn't sure what I wanted to do
Speaker 6: and what was next for me. I ended up moving
Speaker 6: to Georgia, and I eventually had a few jobs that
Speaker 6: I wasn't particularly interested in, banking and some like administrative
Speaker 6: type of things. And the last job that I had,
Speaker 6: I knew that I was not doing what I should
Speaker 6: be doing, and I was trying to figure out how
Speaker 6: I could get to the point where I was working
Speaker 6: with seniors because I felt like that was where my
Speaker 6: life was kind of going. So still working a job
Speaker 6: I wasn't necessarily loving. In Atlanta, I started, I guess
Speaker 6: you kind of say booking or started contacting senior communities
Speaker 6: in the Atlanta area and I would just go and
Speaker 6: sing and play for thirty minutes or an hour, and
Speaker 6: it was there that I really fell in love with
Speaker 6: individuals with dementia and Alzheimer's. I got to see a
Speaker 6: little closer up what kind of challenges they had and
Speaker 6: just who they were, and so I really fell in
Speaker 6: love with that population. Fast forward a few more years
Speaker 6: in twenty eighteen, my husband and I moved for him
Speaker 6: to pursue music, and I really wasn't sure what I
Speaker 6: was going to do for a job. I was at
Speaker 6: that time working with a small business that did assisted
Speaker 6: living placements, so basically helping families find communities like Ape's
Speaker 6: Garden for their loved ones. So I did that for
Speaker 6: a year. I ended up working at another senior community,
Speaker 6: but I really I had heard about Ape's Garden and
Speaker 6: really wanted to be here in a part of what
Speaker 6: they were doing, and so I started in twenty nineteen.
Speaker 6: At the end of twenty nineteen as a life engagement
Speaker 6: coordinator and was a part of the team that does
Speaker 6: all the engagement groups, and I really learned a lot.
Speaker 6: My background wouldn't have said you're going to be in
Speaker 6: front of people talking or teaching. I would have never
Speaker 6: seen myself doing that. I was pretty introverted, and like
Speaker 6: I was a banker for a long time and I
Speaker 6: just kind of was comfortable in other fields, but I
Speaker 6: wouldn't say being in front of people was ever a
Speaker 6: comfortable thing.
Speaker 3: Well, and I can speak to this. When I come
Speaker 3: in here, I always see Valerie and she's in front
Speaker 3: of a group of older individuals and they're whether they're
Speaker 3: learning about Hawaii, or they're talking about music with Dolly Parton,
Speaker 3: or they're having a wine and cheese party. I've witnessed
Speaker 3: you and so many in front of so many larger
Speaker 3: groups than here. It really is a drastic change for.
Speaker 1: You, for sure.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And so I can say that this job's really
Speaker 6: brought me out of myself, I would say. And so
Speaker 6: I was life Engagement coordinator and then volunteer coordinator for
Speaker 6: a couple of years, and that's where when you started
Speaker 6: serving with Remy through pet therapy, that's where we connected
Speaker 6: and met and I loved that role and a couple
Speaker 6: years later was able to take on the life Engagement
Speaker 6: manager role. So I oversee our life engagement team here
Speaker 6: at Apes Garden, and we have so many activities and
Speaker 6: engagement groups happening throughout the day. We do outings and
Speaker 6: all kinds of fun things. We had a crawfish boil
Speaker 6: that a family sponsored last week, a resident led sale
Speaker 6: where we collected proceeds for a charity, and it's just
Speaker 6: really a lot of things that I'm glad that I'm
Speaker 6: a part of here.
Speaker 3: Why is it so important with the role that you have,
Speaker 3: which is so much about their life engagement and making
Speaker 3: sure that they're enjoying their time here. Why do you
Speaker 3: feel like this role is so important? Because I see
Speaker 3: firsthand how important it is, But why do you feel
Speaker 3: like this is something that really makes a difference for
Speaker 3: them being somewhere that provides the opportunity.
Speaker 6: Allowing them to feel purpose in their life, and whether
Speaker 6: they've lost a spouse or are trying to figure out
Speaker 6: what's next that abesgarden a lot of times is that
Speaker 6: place for them to feel community and be engaged with.
Speaker 3: Something I also know that you told me about was
Speaker 3: that you wrote a song. Speaking of being a songwriter,
Speaker 3: You wrote a song with one of the residents, and
Speaker 3: there was this whole thing and I need to hear
Speaker 3: that story because I know it, but I want everybody
Speaker 3: else to hear it.
Speaker 6: We through leading age, which is an organization that really
Speaker 6: advocates for aging adults. They had asked us last year
Speaker 6: if we would partner with a local songwriter here in
Speaker 6: Nashville and write a song, and so I thought, well,
Speaker 6: I haven't written a song in a long time, but
Speaker 6: I know a great group of people that could help
Speaker 6: me do this. And along with the songwriter and also
Speaker 6: individuals from our Memory support our club program was also
Speaker 6: a part of it. We wrote a song called I
Speaker 6: Am Who I Am. And I really can't take any
Speaker 6: credit for writing the song. I was just there and
Speaker 6: maybe I'd have an idea or too.
Speaker 3: Isn't that so cool when you think about that and
Speaker 3: the fact that they were part of this song and
Speaker 3: just shared their stories through music, which is so impactful
Speaker 3: for them. What does that feel like when you get
Speaker 3: to be a part of such a big part of
Speaker 3: their life now, because I feel like that's a big
Speaker 3: memory for them now.
Speaker 6: Yeah, just the process of writing the song the first
Speaker 6: time with the songwriter, and then Kashana is her name.
Speaker 6: Kashana came back the second time and she had recorded
Speaker 6: the song, but we put background vocals to it and
Speaker 6: sang along. It was really neat how just in the
Speaker 6: course of the months of working on the song. The
Speaker 6: residents and club members really remember the song. Anytime I
Speaker 6: would play it, they would sing along at least the
Speaker 6: chorus I Am who I am, You.
Speaker 1: Are who you are.
Speaker 6: They recalled the song, which was is amazing. If you
Speaker 6: know anyone that's dealing with dementia or Alzheimer's, and we'd
Speaker 6: see it a lot at Apesgarten, there might be like
Speaker 6: five minutes where you tell them something and within just
Speaker 6: within five minutes or a short amount of time, they
Speaker 6: can't recall what just happened. And so for them to
Speaker 6: recall the song and sing it whenever we would play
Speaker 6: it was really neat. It was really cool, and I
Speaker 6: think there was pride. I think that they took pride
Speaker 6: in being a part of that project. We also got
Speaker 6: to sing the song at the Leading Age conference in
Speaker 6: October where they performed it in front of of a
Speaker 6: few thousand people were there, and it was just a
Speaker 6: really neat project to be a part of.
Speaker 3: It's so cool, and I love when you share that
Speaker 3: story because I think it's awesome that you're not just.
Speaker 1: Doing the bare minimum right.
Speaker 3: You could just throw on a movie and say life
Speaker 3: engagement and We're happy you're doing these things that are impactful.
Speaker 1: Every single day.
Speaker 3: Every time I come in here, they're doing something new,
Speaker 3: something different, and they just feel like they're still getting
Speaker 3: to experience their life. And I think that's what's so
Speaker 3: wonderful about you. And one of your highest qualities, as
Speaker 3: I've witnessed, is patience. I have walked into many conversations
Speaker 3: roe I mean and I have, and it's like an
Speaker 3: entirely different language. And I think about you every single
Speaker 3: day and you're around this all the time. Why is
Speaker 3: patience so important in this and why is it so
Speaker 3: helpful for them as they're navigating Because I've seen it
Speaker 3: and I can speak to you doing it, but you're
Speaker 3: the one firsthand who witnesses and experiences this every day.
Speaker 6: Just what I have learned about dementia and this disease
Speaker 6: and as it progresses, there are certain behaviors that happen,
Speaker 6: or there's funny things do happen, or they say funny things,
Speaker 6: and it's just really meeting them where they are and
Speaker 6: just understanding that they maybe having behaviors that they don't
Speaker 6: mean to have.
Speaker 3: What are some of your favorite moments or memories from
Speaker 3: your job and getting to witness beyond the song, because
Speaker 3: the song is beautiful in itself. But you've been here
Speaker 3: a long time and doing a lot of different roles,
Speaker 3: so I'm sure you have favorite moments.
Speaker 6: I think anything with music is a way to kind
Speaker 6: of trigger their emotions, and I think that I have
Speaker 6: seen an array of motions from them. Sometimes we'll just
Speaker 6: be listening to something and then the next song we
Speaker 6: put on it ends up turning into a dance party
Speaker 6: and they want to get up and dance, and You're like, okay,
Speaker 6: that's you know, just letting them in some ways leading
Speaker 6: because say, yeah, I'm leading this group right now, or
Speaker 6: I'm I'm in charge.
Speaker 1: Of this group.
Speaker 6: So I say, but they really have a lot of
Speaker 6: say and have a lot of pull as far as
Speaker 6: where the group goes. What are we going to talk about?
Speaker 6: What's important to them? And so I think some of
Speaker 6: the best moments have been around music and conversations with that.
Speaker 6: And I think there was one time we were talking about,
Speaker 6: what's the song rock around the clock. We've heard the
Speaker 6: song forever, right Bill Haley and the comments and we've
Speaker 6: heard it, and I just was just I don't know,
Speaker 6: I wasn't trying to be silly. I was just like,
Speaker 6: has anyone over here ever rocked around the clock? That
Speaker 6: sounds crazy, you know, and just like talked about it
Speaker 6: and somebody said, yeah, I've done that, and I was like,
Speaker 6: I was just dying. Some music brings out so many emotions.
Speaker 6: And also when you play some of the older songs
Speaker 6: that maybe that they knew from their childhood or they
Speaker 6: were a teenager or a young twenty something, these songs
Speaker 6: bring back memories to them.
Speaker 3: You've been in this for a really long time and
Speaker 3: you have done these different roles and stuff. So advice
Speaker 3: for maybe somebody who's considering getting into this field or
Speaker 3: thinking about doing the work that you do, what would
Speaker 3: you say? Or motivation or inspiration on any of those levels.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I would second Mallory when she said that it
Speaker 6: is really a calling if you want to get into
Speaker 6: this field, just like I would say, teaching small children
Speaker 6: is probably not for everyone, and working with seniors may
Speaker 6: not be for everyone either, But being in this world
Speaker 6: so much, forty hours of my week, I can't imagine
Speaker 6: why it wouldn't be fun for everyone because we have
Speaker 6: so much fun here. But I would say, if you're
Speaker 6: not sure what you would like to do with your life.
Speaker 6: Maybe volunteer at a community like Apes Garden and spend
Speaker 6: some time with different populations, whether it's kids or older adults,
Speaker 6: and see if it's something that you might be interested in.
Speaker 6: I think that we need more people to work with seniors.
Speaker 3: I love that. I think that's really great advice. And
Speaker 3: it's how I got involved in the community. Was just
Speaker 3: trying it out and seeing Remy was the start, and
Speaker 3: then we waded into the waters and we loved it
Speaker 3: and it was so rewarding. And the impact that even
Speaker 3: just a couple hours a month that we do is
Speaker 3: astronomical just sitting in those rooms with them. So the
Speaker 3: work that you guys do every day is really important. Valerie,
Speaker 3: thank you for being here. Thank you for all you do.
Speaker 3: I'm happy you're here.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 6: Thanks for asking Ape's Garden to be a part of
Speaker 6: this podcast.
Speaker 3: Always, you guys have a special place in my heart.
Speaker 1: I'm joined by Chris right now.
Speaker 3: I am so excited you're here, and I hope you're
Speaker 3: not nervous anymore.
Speaker 1: How are you feeling feeling great?
Speaker 5: Thanks for having me, Thanks.
Speaker 3: For being on to talk now, Chris, share your title
Speaker 3: and your overview of being at Apes Garden.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my role is Chief Operating Officer for Apes Garden Community.
Speaker 5: I've been here for ten years. I started off as.
Speaker 2: A continuous quality improvement coordinator, so assessing how the quality
Speaker 2: of life is for the residents that live here, and
Speaker 2: then over time I moved into different roles at the HR,
Speaker 2: some training, and then was lucky enough to get put
Speaker 2: in a position like this to help everybody out.
Speaker 3: So you've really seen all different stages of what Apes
Speaker 3: Garden does works with how it all operates. Yeah, what's
Speaker 3: been the craziest part of working in this field? You
Speaker 3: see all these wild things? What has that experience been like?
Speaker 2: I think what's pretty impressive about it is in really
Speaker 2: difficult moments, how everybody comes together. And throughout my time here,
Speaker 2: stuff that we could have planned for and couldn't have
Speaker 2: planned for came up. And an example, I was on
Speaker 2: my honeymoon and the temperature dropped here and sprinklers popped
Speaker 2: around the community and there was flooding of.
Speaker 5: Water and water more and more.
Speaker 2: And when I got to the hotel, I pulled up
Speaker 2: the cameras and I saw so many people here helping out,
Speaker 2: helping residents get to safe places, cleaning up the water,
Speaker 2: setting up dinner, and inconvenient places. But in times like
Speaker 2: that where people would get overwhelmed, you can see more
Speaker 2: and more people coming together to really being able to
Speaker 2: help the situation.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Bet that was super rewarding, especially because you're away and
Speaker 3: you know you can't do anything and you're just hoping
Speaker 3: it all works out.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I think from my position that also makes me
Speaker 2: feel good about what we're doing here where I can
Speaker 2: go away on my honeymoon and know that the team
Speaker 2: here is able to manage whatever situation comes up, whether
Speaker 2: it was planned or not.
Speaker 3: Yes, and being around so much of that and seeing
Speaker 3: and witnessing so much. What are things that you've learned.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's about yourself, maybe it's about the senior community.
Speaker 3: What's been the biggest impact for you that you wish
Speaker 3: you could learn all over again.
Speaker 2: I think the great thing that I take away from
Speaker 2: working here or working with older adults is perspective on life.
Speaker 5: Met so many people that.
Speaker 2: Are younger older adults, but also older older adults, and
Speaker 2: they're over the age of one hundred, and they have
Speaker 2: all these great perspectives about how things went in their life,
Speaker 2: how they felt about it, things that they'd change or
Speaker 2: things that they wouldn't change. And I think I started
Speaker 2: working with older adults when I was twenty, and so
Speaker 2: I got to learn from people who are over one
Speaker 2: hundred at that age about what their life experience was like.
Speaker 2: And I've been able to take pieces of that and
Speaker 2: add it into my life and be able to prepare
Speaker 2: for what might come up and really get to learn
Speaker 2: from the people I work with.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's so awesome. They have so much wisdom to
Speaker 3: share and I found that just in my time here.
Speaker 3: And you look at an experience like this, and you
Speaker 3: said you started doing this at twenty, Why did you
Speaker 3: get into this? What was the reason purpose behind it?
Speaker 2: At one point, I thought they wanted to be a nurse,
Speaker 2: and I was in college and things were not going
Speaker 2: my way, and so I dropped out and I thought
Speaker 2: the next step would be to get certified as a
Speaker 2: nurse's assistant, And so I went through that program and
Speaker 2: I started working in the nursing home and I went
Speaker 2: from teaching swimming lessons was like three to five year
Speaker 2: olds still working with people that were much older, and
Speaker 2: it was a completely different phase of their life, and
Speaker 2: at first that terrified me, and the things that people
Speaker 2: were going through was pretty difficult. But then over time
Speaker 2: again the perspective and the information that they can share
Speaker 2: and their history really changed my feeling about work with
Speaker 2: older people, and I really ended up enjoying it and to.
Speaker 5: The point where I'm still doing it and loving it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and what have.
Speaker 3: You learned about the older community that maybe you feel
Speaker 3: like gets misunderstood or we just don't quite have the
Speaker 3: full perspective on, because I feel like there's so much
Speaker 3: we were talking before this of not a lot of
Speaker 3: people talk about senior living communities and what happens when
Speaker 3: they get in. It's just kind of like they go
Speaker 3: and buy. Yeah, what's some things that you've learned about
Speaker 3: them that you wish maybe people understood better.
Speaker 2: I think the power of their voice, their knowledge, and
Speaker 2: their wisdom. I think to your point, and what I
Speaker 2: know this a lot, even when I'm outside of here,
Speaker 2: is that people move in here and then their world
Speaker 2: continues to isolate and their voices become harder and harder
Speaker 2: to get out. And maybe the families don't visit as much,
Speaker 2: or they don't see their grandkids or kids as much.
Speaker 2: And what I've learned from being here and during my
Speaker 2: time here is that the more that you can talk
Speaker 2: and communicate and spend time and find ways for people
Speaker 2: to express themselves, there's a whole bunch that they want
Speaker 2: to share and they just really need the outlet to
Speaker 2: do it like something like this. It's a pretty amazing thing.
Speaker 2: And the longer I'm here, there's just more and more stories.
Speaker 2: Mallory and I before coming in, we're just going through
Speaker 2: one person after another about all the things that we've
Speaker 2: learned from them or to pump ourselves up for the podcast.
Speaker 2: So we are quoting residents that have lived here, and
Speaker 2: I think all that kind of feeds into it. And yeah,
Speaker 2: they have a lot to share, and that's really the
Speaker 2: biggest takeaway.
Speaker 3: Well, now I need to know some of the quotes.
Speaker 5: You're doing a great job, and you're doing it right now.
Speaker 2: That's real classic That we have a Lordy Lordy Roger's
Speaker 2: over forty.
Speaker 5: That one gets stuck in my head quite a bit.
Speaker 5: Things like that, but.
Speaker 2: Those are kind of the regular ones that we use.
Speaker 2: But yeah, that everybody has their own story and there's
Speaker 2: something that you can talk about with every person that's here.
Speaker 2: Or every person that's lived here that can make you
Speaker 2: a smile or give you a good laugh.
Speaker 3: What do you feel like is your hardest moment that
Speaker 3: you've had to face while doing this job.
Speaker 5: I don't know about the hardest moment. I think.
Speaker 2: Overall, where it gets challenging is that there are a
Speaker 2: lot of people here that we want to.
Speaker 5: Help meet their needs.
Speaker 2: Everybody has an idea of what they want when they
Speaker 2: move in here, and there's the families that we want
Speaker 2: to help please, there's the people that live here, they
Speaker 2: are the people that work here, and then everybody else
Speaker 2: that visits and comes in and out. And I think
Speaker 2: on a day to day basis, I think the challenge
Speaker 2: is helping to make that happen. I think the positive
Speaker 2: part and the reason why I like being here and
Speaker 2: being in a role like this is that we're surrounded
Speaker 2: by people that are trying to make those things happen,
Speaker 2: and we have a board and CEO that really help
Speaker 2: support that and give us the opportunity to help everybody's
Speaker 2: needs as much as we can.
Speaker 1: And that's super tough.
Speaker 3: You talk about families, and you probably witness a lot
Speaker 3: of emotions when people bring their loved ones here. How
Speaker 3: do you navigate something like that because it's such a
Speaker 3: big change that's happening, not just for the person who's
Speaker 3: coming in here, but also the families. Yeah, what's that
Speaker 3: adjustment period? Like, what's that experience?
Speaker 2: It can take some time and the biggest thing is
Speaker 2: getting an understanding of what everybody's goals are. And another
Speaker 2: tougher area to navigate is nobody really chooses to move
Speaker 2: into a community. People want to live at home as
Speaker 2: much as possible. But when they do move in here,
Speaker 2: what does a great day look like for them? For
Speaker 2: the family, what does a great day look like for them?
Speaker 2: And what can we do to help make that happen?
Speaker 2: And really understanding everybody's life story, their history before coming
Speaker 2: in here, and we get to know people at this
Speaker 2: one point of their life, but the relationships that spouses,
Speaker 2: their kids, and the people that move in here have
Speaker 2: can be all over the place, and we really just
Speaker 2: need to better understand everything that's going on so while
Speaker 2: they're here, we can help them have the best day possible.
Speaker 3: And I think that's so helpful for so many people
Speaker 3: to understand, because when it's all happening, life's just happening,
Speaker 3: right and you're just moving someone in. You're like, Okay,
Speaker 3: we're good, it's happening, and you're not really thinking about
Speaker 3: that aspect of what does this day to day look like?
Speaker 3: How can we be helpful in making sure that their
Speaker 3: lives are enriched by this change? And I think just
Speaker 3: hearing from you that you've seen a lot of that
Speaker 3: happen will be helpful for people. I want to ask
Speaker 3: you too, because you have witnessed so much, what's like
Speaker 3: the craziest moment you've had at AB's garden.
Speaker 5: I do think the sprinkler situation was pretty crazy.
Speaker 2: There's so many pipes that burst and the mount of
Speaker 2: water that came in and yeah, everybody, Yeah, pulling up
Speaker 2: the cameras and seeing all of that going on is
Speaker 2: pretty wild.
Speaker 5: I think.
Speaker 2: This on a positive side. A good thing that happened
Speaker 2: is we had the Nashville Opera come here and they
Speaker 2: do the opera on wheels, and the first time they came,
Speaker 2: they brought in the whole trailer and they opened up
Speaker 2: a stage in our front parking lot, and we had
Speaker 2: residents that were sitting on their patios to watch. We
Speaker 2: set up a whole area for people to go outside.
Speaker 5: And serve drinks and an impressive level.
Speaker 2: You don't think something like that could happen, but here
Speaker 2: he had professional performers singing opera, the hits of opera,
Speaker 2: and then he had all these people out there to
Speaker 2: enjoy it. And things like that are surprising because you
Speaker 2: don't necessarily wake up thinking how am I or how
Speaker 2: are we going to get opera here? But what we
Speaker 2: are lucky enough to be in a place to have
Speaker 2: that happen.
Speaker 3: That's so cool. I know that probably meant so much
Speaker 3: to so many of them because do you even hear
Speaker 3: their stories on doing this podcast, And so many of
Speaker 3: them were influenced by music in so many ways, and
Speaker 3: that's a huge part of their life. So I can
Speaker 3: only imagine what that was like. And I also want
Speaker 3: to know too, from your side, why do you feel
Speaker 3: it's so important to try and get more people into
Speaker 3: this line of work? Because you are an operating officer
Speaker 3: now you ever see employees, You see what this work
Speaker 3: looks like and why it's important. What would you tell
Speaker 3: people who are maybe looking potentially to get into something
Speaker 3: like this and why it might be necessary.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my personal perspective is before I thought they wanted
Speaker 2: to be a nurse. I thought they wanted to be
Speaker 2: a teacher. And I had always worked with kids, and
Speaker 2: nothing ever seemed to really click. And I liked doing it,
Speaker 2: but it wasn't what was driving me. And then when
Speaker 2: I started working with older adults, it.
Speaker 5: Really change my day.
Speaker 2: And what I got to do is have a regular
Speaker 2: relationship with all the people that I met here. And
Speaker 2: I know most people when they go to school and
Speaker 2: they go to become a doctor, they probably want to
Speaker 2: be a pediatrician. If they do want to do therapy,
Speaker 2: they want to work with kids, or social worker, or
Speaker 2: you go to be a cooker chef, you want to
Speaker 2: work in these really great restaurants. We have all of
Speaker 2: that stuff here and we try and provide a setting
Speaker 2: where you can be as creative as you want in
Speaker 2: each of those different fields and when you work with
Speaker 2: older adults. The thing that appeals to me the most,
Speaker 2: that I wish more people would know about getting in
Speaker 2: this industry is you can be very real with everybody
Speaker 2: and that there's not really much bs. They want to
Speaker 2: know exactly what you're thinking. They want to have a
Speaker 2: real conversation, they want to be able to joke around
Speaker 2: and balance all of those things. But I don't have
Speaker 2: to try and be a mentor for anybody.
Speaker 5: I don't have to be a role model.
Speaker 2: All I have to do is be a person that
Speaker 2: is listening to them and helping them meet their needs,
Speaker 2: and it makes it for me, I think a lot
Speaker 2: easier and appealing than all these other different areas that
Speaker 2: you can get into.
Speaker 3: I love that. I feel like that's really important, especially
Speaker 3: as you know, people are graduating and trying to figure
Speaker 3: out what their lives look like, and maybe this is
Speaker 3: something that we're touching on that they might not have
Speaker 3: thought of. I will always like to end on its motivation, advice,
Speaker 3: or maybe something we didn't talk about that you is
Speaker 3: really heavy on your heart and you want to make
Speaker 3: sure to share. So the floor is kind of yours
Speaker 3: to share anything at this last moment, maybe you didn't
Speaker 3: get too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would emphasize more looking into working with older adults.
Speaker 2: I think there's stat after stat that shows are people
Speaker 2: over sixty five, The number of those people continues to
Speaker 2: grow and grow, the number of people that are under
Speaker 2: eighteen continues to become less and less, and there's the
Speaker 2: giant gap of people that need our help as much
Speaker 2: as anybody else, and that there are all these really
Speaker 2: great positives and working with older adults and you get
Speaker 2: to really be able to have a pretty great day.
Speaker 5: Where in my role.
Speaker 2: I do the budgeting, I have meetings and those things
Speaker 2: like that, but we get to go to a sounds
Speaker 2: game and we get to go for walks in the
Speaker 2: courtyard and they're just My day has this whole range
Speaker 2: of things that what you would think of in this
Speaker 2: role of just sitting at desk crunching numbers or working
Speaker 2: on different strategies. Those are fun and that's why I
Speaker 2: like being in this role. But I get to sprinkle
Speaker 2: in all these great one on one situations and group engagements,
Speaker 2: to mocktails last week with the residents.
Speaker 3: And the they have giant parties here. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Crazy.
Speaker 2: You get to mix in everything, and that's really what's
Speaker 2: about working with older adults and especially in senior living.
Speaker 3: Oh well, Chris, thank you so much for sharing and
Speaker 3: talking about your story. Is great having you.
Speaker 5: Here, Thanks for having me appreciate it.
Speaker 3: And next week and maybe the week following, we'll see
Speaker 3: how long this goes for. But it's a resident time.
Speaker 3: I'm going to be doing it in a few parts
Speaker 3: because honestly, there's just too much gold to put in
Speaker 3: one episode. The residents you'll meet from Apes Garden Go
Speaker 3: Buy Brenda, Carol, Dave, Larry, Sandra, Shirley and Ward, and
Speaker 3: they're going to share their life stories, any regrets they've
Speaker 3: had in life, the things they've accomplished, advice and of
Speaker 3: course there's a whole lot of laughs along the way.
Speaker 3: And all of these humans are over eighty years old,
Speaker 3: so they have expertise, knowledge and wisdom that I cannot
Speaker 3: wait to share with you all. So do not miss it,
Speaker 3: make sure you subscribe, and as always, thank you for
Speaker 3: being here. I love you.
Speaker 2: Bye.