WEBVTT - Not Forgotten: Life Inside Senior Living Communities 0:00:14.000 --> 0:00:14.920 Personal Life. 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:17.440 With Dames Duelsman. 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:20.200 It's the start of a new series and I'm very 0:00:20.200 --> 0:00:22.720 ready for you guys to hear these episodes. Remy and 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:25.320 I have been volunteering as a pet therapy team at 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:28.040 Apes Garden for several years now. It's a senior living 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:31.200 community and they have memory care support and we've been 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:33.560 part of this community for so long that it's become 0:00:33.600 --> 0:00:36.720 really part of our routine of life. And this week 0:00:36.800 --> 0:00:39.360 I get to bring on some of the incredible employees 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:43.080 who make a senior living community like Abes Garden actually 0:00:43.200 --> 0:00:46.440 work and function every hour of every day. So joining 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:49.920 this week is Mallory Grimes, the manager of Community Programs, 0:00:50.240 --> 0:00:53.960 Chris Cowello, who is the chief operating officer, and Valerie Snyder, 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:57.040 the life Engagement manager, and those three are going to 0:00:57.080 --> 0:01:00.000 share what their jobs mean and how they got into 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:03.600 to senior living community work and why it's necessary for 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:14.200 people to get involved. So let's do this. I'm joined 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:17.040 by Mallory who has been working at Abess Garden for 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:20.280 a long time, and we're showing a different side of 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:22.560 the senior living community and I'm really excited for you 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:24.319 guys to hear this. Mallori how are you. 0:01:24.640 --> 0:01:26.120 I'm good, how are you good? 0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:29.120 Thank you for being here, of course, So tell everyone 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:33.240 how long you've been working in this field and kind 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:34.120 of how you got into it. 0:01:34.200 --> 0:01:38.440 Your story. Yeah, So I've been working at Abes Garden 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:41.280 for eight years. It was really my. 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:43.600 First job out of college. 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:46.240 I've been here since I graduated. But I grew up 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:49.640 really close with my grandparents. I was lucky enough to 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:52.800 spend time with them on the weekends, get dinner during 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:56.280 the week They'd come to all my games, very supportive, 0:01:56.840 --> 0:01:59.600 and I would even hang out with their friends as 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:02.160 well from church. They all watched me grow up really 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:05.960 comfortable with this population, but I didn't know if I 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:09.000 could handle it emotionally, and my grandpa and I were 0:02:09.080 --> 0:02:11.440 especially close, and he died while I was in college 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:14.840 pretty unexpectedly, But I ended up choosing social work. I 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:18.359 knew I wanted to help people, but wasn't sure if 0:02:18.360 --> 0:02:21.160 I could handle it, and so I did my internships 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:24.680 with older adults and really enjoyed it, and I've been 0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:25.480 here ever since. 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:27.600 So you mentioned that you weren't sure if you were 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:29.680 going to be able to handle it emotionally. When did 0:02:29.720 --> 0:02:32.160 that change? And you were like I have to do this. 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:36.840 I think it was just worth it. I think I 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:40.440 just decided that it feels so natural. I knew that 0:02:43.200 --> 0:02:45.400 this is what I wanted to do. In some ways, 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:47.959 I think it was a way to honor my grandpa, 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:50.600 but it just felt very natural. And I worked really 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:53.520 hard in school. I worked hard to make good grades, 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:56.680 but I feel like I have a really high emotional intelligence, 0:02:57.320 --> 0:02:59.760 and so it was really a gift to finally find 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:03.519 a field where I could use that in social skills 0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:05.120 and just have fun. 0:03:05.880 --> 0:03:08.200 And you say that there was part of that with 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:11.639 your grandpa that inspired that. Do you feel like when 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:13.680 you're doing your job in your day to day life, 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:16.000 are you thinking of him and the things that would 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:18.160 help him or would have or things that you wish 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:20.560 you could have done with him that allows you to 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:22.720 do what you do so well. 0:03:23.639 --> 0:03:27.560 Yeah, I think there's so much that I wish I 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:30.360 could ask him, knowing what I know now, the songs 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:31.400 that we've learned, or the. 0:03:31.360 --> 0:03:34.280 Stories I've heard, what his life was like early on. 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:36.960 I was only eighteen or nineteen when he passed, and 0:03:37.040 --> 0:03:39.400 so I've grown so much and learned so much. 0:03:39.200 --> 0:03:41.200 From the people here that I wish I could share 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:41.880 as well. 0:03:42.000 --> 0:03:44.840 I think he would love to have come seen me 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:47.320 here and met everyone that I care so much about. 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:50.160 But I do feel like I honor his legacy, and 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:53.480 I've even met people here that actually knew him, so 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:54.840 that was really special. 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:57.520 Was that a moment where You're like, this is where 0:03:57.560 --> 0:03:58.440 I'm meant to be, this is. 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:00.920 What I'm meant to be doing When that happened, Yeah, 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:04.440 I think it was probably my second year here, and 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:08.280 my grandpa was from West Tennessee, like two hours from here, 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:11.480 in the middle of nowhere, so it doesn't make any sense, 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:16.000 but I realized that they played football together. Found an 0:04:16.000 --> 0:04:19.160 old yearbook and the whole first page was from this residence, 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:23.039 so they ended up being best friends. It was such 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:26.000 a small world, but yeah, I was able to learn 0:04:26.080 --> 0:04:28.440 some stories that I hadn't heard about my grandpa from 0:04:28.440 --> 0:04:32.400 someone that had late stage Alzheimer's and happened to remember. 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:32.599 Who he was. 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:36.520 Was that because you also work very closely. You've brought 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:40.440 a program to Apesgarden that helps Alzheimer's within the community 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:46.560 outside of this building, you see firsthand what that looks like. 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:49.719 And then you have this moment with someone where one 0:04:49.720 --> 0:04:52.320 of their memories that they're having in the late stage 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:55.520 is of your grandfather. What did that feel like? 0:04:58.000 --> 0:05:02.080 I don't know. In a way, it felt very surreal 0:05:02.320 --> 0:05:04.920 in full circle. And my grandpa confided in me one time, 0:05:04.920 --> 0:05:07.200 we were just going to lunch. It was quiet drive. 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:11.159 He always took back roads that he admitted that his 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:15.279 biggest fear was getting Alzheimer's, and he passed pretty suddenly. 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:18.440 But I think I'm grateful that I never had to 0:05:18.440 --> 0:05:21.000 see him suffer. I'm grateful that he didn't have to 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:23.640 go through that. But in some ways, I think that 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:26.120 it's almost like paying it forward. I guess I know 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:28.880 that he would have been well taken care of. Yeah, 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:29.960 I guess that makes sense. 0:05:30.320 --> 0:05:32.800 It does. And you speak of these kind of emotional 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:35.360 moments when you are in this job and you're here 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:38.040 every day, you're in it and you're seeing all these residents. 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:41.440 What are the really cool moments that you're so happy 0:05:41.480 --> 0:05:43.120 to be part of, and what are the really hard 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:45.520 ones that maybe people don't think about. 0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:51.640 Yeah, I would say some of the hardest moments or 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:52.480 the hardest. 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:53.839 Parts of this job, I would say would. 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:58.240 Be grief and then work life balance. Sometimes. I mean 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:01.360 there's seasons of griefs that are so much fun. There's 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:04.960 seasons where that loss is coming, and there's moments where 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:07.120 it's so unexpected and it kind of catches the whole 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:12.400 community off guard. So just finding different ways to cope, 0:06:12.440 --> 0:06:15.839 noticing the warning signs in myself when you can feel 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:19.560 that burnout coming, or yeah, I'm always looking for different 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:22.360 ways to work on that in myself. And then work 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:25.280 life balance. I'm sure everyone feels that, but I think 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:29.039 because this job is so people oriented, it can really 0:06:29.080 --> 0:06:31.680 take a toll. I spend more time with the people 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:34.159 here than my own family or my own friends, and 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:37.200 so how do you not take that home right? And 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:41.680 it affects you. But I think being so relational is 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:45.160 also the best part of the job. And I might 0:06:45.800 --> 0:06:47.240 it might take a toll on me, but I know 0:06:47.279 --> 0:06:50.240 that I'm good at it and they would sense it. 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:53.799 If I pulled back. If this was just a paycheck, 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:57.320 I don't think I would be making nearly as much 0:06:57.320 --> 0:06:57.960 of a difference. 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:01.920 Does it feel good when you are ending a day 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:05.120 and you're just like, I feel like that really mattered? 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:08.000 Is that a lot of days for you in doing 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:08.520 this job? 0:07:09.160 --> 0:07:11.800 Yes, I would say that's definitely the best part that 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:15.480 I can I can get up every day and leave 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:17.480 every day, and I don't have to wonder if I've 0:07:17.520 --> 0:07:20.040 made a difference or whether or not they're going to 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:21.280 make a difference in my life. 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:25.160 And you create these really close relationships with so many 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:28.400 of them. I feel like you get to have more 0:07:28.480 --> 0:07:31.920 relationships in your life than most people because of this job. 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:34.560 Does that ever stick out to you as you're thinking 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:36.400 about this job and the career that you've chosen. 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:39.920 Yes, the relationship part is the best part. And what's 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:43.320 funny is when they know just as much about my life, 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:45.280 Like I can catch myself and like, I don't know 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:45.640 why I. 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:48.080 Told you that they know all your secret how is 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:48.480 your date? 0:07:48.600 --> 0:07:51.200 Or how is this? Or how are your parents? Or 0:07:51.400 --> 0:07:54.120 they keep up with my nieces and nephews. They love 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:57.000 to look at pictures, and it's a good reminder that 0:07:57.120 --> 0:07:59.120 no matter what they're going through or why they're here, 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:02.560 that they have just as much to offer as they 0:08:02.560 --> 0:08:02.920 ever have. 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:06.160 Do you use them as people to share advice because 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:08.840 they have so much knowledge, so much wisdom and things 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:11.560 that they've been through. So when you're going through things, 0:08:11.840 --> 0:08:13.960 do you ever be like, hey, I need some thoughts 0:08:14.040 --> 0:08:17.480 on this. Does that also help them stay incorporated really 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:20.760 into the life outside of these walls and what's happening here? 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:24.320 Yeah, I think so. And I primarily work with people 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:27.680 with like younger onset or early stage Alzheimer's, and so 0:08:27.840 --> 0:08:30.840 that's a big thing that I try to educate people 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:33.839 on is they still have just as much purpose and 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:37.120 just as much to offer. I think the best parts 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:39.640 are when you're running around trying to get everything done 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:42.280 on your to do list and they stop me and say, hey, 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:44.760 are you okay? Like what's going on? There's still that 0:08:44.880 --> 0:08:48.000 emotional human connection where they can tell if I'm having 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:51.240 a bad day, and there's grace. And it's not just 0:08:51.280 --> 0:08:54.600 a business, it's a family. My coworkers are the same way, 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:58.480 and so it's kind of a again, how would you 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:01.080 not get attached when you're spending every day with these people. 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:02.440 It's the best part of the job. 0:09:03.360 --> 0:09:06.120 And when you're looking at this job and you were 0:09:06.200 --> 0:09:08.720 working here and you decided to create this program, which 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:12.079 is so awesome of what you do. Touched on the 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:14.200 program a little bit before I ask you this question, 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:16.720 what is the program that you started and why was 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:19.559 that such an important thing to start. 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:23.440 So I'm the community programs manager here and we have 0:09:23.480 --> 0:09:27.679 different day programs for different levels of people with dementia, 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:29.400 but I run. 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:32.200 The social support groups the early stage. 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:32.640 Younger onset. 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:34.640 It's a couple days a week. 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:39.120 My job is to keep them as independent for as 0:09:39.120 --> 0:09:41.920 long as possible. The things that people face in the 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:45.320 early stages, you know, maybe giving up your keys the 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:49.240 earliest signs. What did you notice maybe getting official diagnosis, 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:52.200 or having to sell your house. Some people don't have 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:56.360 any family left, so being that community that saves space. 0:09:57.080 --> 0:10:01.079 But I think helping people process as much as they 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:04.000 can early on and plan ahead makes the rest of 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:05.240 the journey a little easier. 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:09.080 And did you see this need for this as you 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:11.760 were working in Apsgarden? Why did you feel it was 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:14.320 so important for this type of program to exist. 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:17.760 I actually I had a mentor that used to work here. 0:10:17.800 --> 0:10:20.240 We met here and she left to go back to school, 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:22.959 but she was here and kind of got it off 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:26.000 the ground. It started as a grant based program, and 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:28.760 they were like, it seems like we can't find anything 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:32.920 else for people with early stage Alzheimer's and dementia. Let's 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:35.079 see if the need is out there. Let's just try 0:10:35.120 --> 0:10:37.040 and get it off the ground. And it went for 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:40.360 a year grant based, and everyone wanted to stay on. 0:10:40.600 --> 0:10:43.240 It was full and that was probably back in twenty 0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:47.199 eighteen and it's still going strong. It survived. I did 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:50.880 it all online during COVID. We went around and taught 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:54.800 everyone how to use their computers, and we started a 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:57.920 support group for the families who were now full time 0:10:57.960 --> 0:11:03.120 caregivers at home during a pandemic. It's definitely something that 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:05.240 I'm very, very proud to be a part of. 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:08.800 I feel like you're the one person that would have 0:11:08.960 --> 0:11:15.280 this knowledge to answer this in the space of dementia Alzheimer's. 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:19.439 What's something misunderstood that we maybe quite not see, Maybe 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:21.640 family members don't quite understand or know when this is 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:25.800 starting to happen. What is that that you're a witness 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:28.559 scene and be like dang, I wish I could communicate 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:31.760 this to people to make whether the process easier or 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:36.040 understanding what's happening to their loved one better. Across the board, 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:37.960 this is open end in whichever direction. 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:38.240 You want to go. 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:41.360 But I feel like you're someone who has seen just 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:45.200 about everything and you can speak to stuff that we 0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:46.280 might not understand. 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:51.400 I would say, especially in early stages, just communicating with 0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:55.000 them directly. I think there's a lot of like hush 0:11:55.080 --> 0:11:59.760 hush behind the scenes. You start to make plans without 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:04.040 including them, and I know that's not going to apply 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:07.480 to people in later stages. I know that usually, but 0:12:08.120 --> 0:12:10.600 as much as they can be a part of I 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:13.520 think it's important. And then a lot of things that 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:17.320 I hear is just let me try. You don't have 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:19.120 to do everything for me. If I can do it, 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:21.079 let me do it. And if you know that I can't, 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:25.199 let me try, or you don't pointing out every time 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:27.679 I repeat myself. And a lot of that is just education, 0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:30.320 and so I'll educate my group members too. It's like, 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:31.840 why don't you say if you can stop me if 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:34.319 I've told you this, or let me know if I've 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:37.640 said this already whicheff be prepared for the answer. Just 0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:40.960 little things that can be really triggering for people, but 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:44.040 I think just helping them be as independent as possible. 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:47.240 What are some signs of Alzheimer's or dementia that maybe 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:50.080 we don't know about because the memory loss is the 0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:53.160 one that people most recognize, is there other things that 0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:54.600 people should be looking out for. 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:01.240 It's so different for everyone. I think that's one thing 0:13:01.280 --> 0:13:04.320 that's challenging too. I could put one hundred people with 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:06.680 the same exact diagnosis, and it's going to be different 0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:09.720 for everyone, which is another thing that's hard to grasp. 0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:13.040 But for some people it might be speech. For some 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:18.720 people it's word recall, or maybe their thoughts are totally fine, 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:21.280 but you'll notice that putting it to paper what they're 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:25.959 thinking is hard, or just certain decisions they make. I 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:30.679 would say the most recent person I talked to said 0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:34.680 that he probably noticed signs in his forties but didn't 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:38.880 notice it in himself. I think that's hard to come 0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:41.640 to terms with. But it was just little things like 0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:45.319 maybe getting lost and not wanting to admit it. 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:47.880 There's a lot that people can. 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:51.520 Hide, but not with malicious intent, just. 0:13:51.480 --> 0:13:53.720 To be protective or they're scared. 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:55.320 Yeah. 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:56.960 See, And this is why I wanted you to share that, 0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:59.200 because I think that's really important for family members to 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:02.600 understand and just be paying attention a little bit. What's 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:05.720 something you've learned from all your experience and doing this 0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:08.400 job and the work that you do and spending time 0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:11.920 with as many of the senior living community. As you have, 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.960 What's something you've learned from them? 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:22.240 Honestly, probably to never stop learning that they That's probably 0:14:22.280 --> 0:14:24.800 something that we preach here that you can teach an 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:27.600 old dog new tricks, and we love doing new things here. 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:30.360 But they have so many stories and so. 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:34.560 Many experiences and so much to offer. And I love words, 0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:38.440 and I'm constantly running down quotes and words of wisdom 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:41.760 that kind of sticks with me. It really resonates with me, 0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:44.480 and I definitely think that's one thing I've learned. I 0:14:44.520 --> 0:14:47.280 get yelled at if I don't have plans on a weekend. 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:50.080 Every single day. I have a woman that asks me, 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:52.760 why are you tired? Did you stay out all night? 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:54.640 And I'll say no, and she's like, well why not? 0:14:55.160 --> 0:14:57.080 You should be you know, So I get in trouble 0:14:57.120 --> 0:14:59.960 if I'm not out drinking or hang out with friends. 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:04.040 They're just great influences in my life and you can't 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:05.800 really put a price on it. And if I could 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:10.760 share something, I would really encourage our generation to get 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:14.120 involved in pick a community or pick an older adult, 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:17.520 a neighbor or something, and just form a connection, because 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:20.280 I think isolation is really important. To pay attention to 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:21.800 and none of us are meant to be alone. 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:25.680 Community is very important. Yeah, well, Mallory, we're about to 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:27.720 wrap up. Is there any last things that we didn't 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:30.280 get to, something you might want to share that is 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:31.640 so important or on your heart. 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:33.480 I do feel like you have to be called to 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:34.160 this field. 0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:40.440 So for those that are impaths and just sweet and 0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:44.080 kind and called to this field, just being mindful of again, 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:46.960 of the signs of burnout. I'm always grateful to be here, 0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:49.920 but we do have to take care of ourselves and 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:53.360 whether it's a hobby or trips or however you choose 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:56.200 to take care of yourself. Just encouraging people that I 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:58.440 feel like we lose a lot of people that were 0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:02.080 born to do this because it gets so overwhelming so fast, 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:05.600 and so just being protective of your heart and your 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:09.320 mind and loving people and figuring out how to take 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:10.760 care of yourself in the process. 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:13.560 Thank you so much, Mallori for being here and hanging 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:14.760 out and sharing on your story. 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:16.320 You're welcome, Thanks for having me. 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:33.400 Valerie Snyder joins me right now. She has somebody that 0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:35.720 I've worked with at Apes Garden for several years now. 0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:38.560 She was my first coordinator as Remy and I joined 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:41.280 on Valerie. Thanks for being here, Thanks for having me. 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:44.200 Are you scared, nervous all the things? Absolutely, it's going 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:44.720 to be great. 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:45.400 Thank you. 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:47.720 You're a wonderful human and I've known that from the 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:49.200 day that I met you and all the work that 0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:51.800 we've done together, and I'm really excited for you to 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:54.120 share some of your stories. So tell us why you 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:56.760 got into this line of work in your role here 0:16:56.880 --> 0:16:57.640 at Apes Garden. 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:01.760 I would say as a young girl, I was just 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:06.560 comfortable with older adults or seniors, and my sister and 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:09.400 I would go and write cards and pass them out 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:11.800 when we would go see my great aunt at a 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:15.960 nursing home. I was just always comfortable with gray hair 0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:22.520 and aging individuals. And my grandmother, my Grandma Smith, would 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:26.160 actually take me along to what was called ruth Helm's 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:29.359 prayer group as a child, and it was just this 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:33.160 big group circle where all these ladies would sit around 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:36.560 and pass around cards and everyone would write a card 0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:38.560 to someone and it could be someone that was a 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:40.639 shut in it's not getting out of the house, or 0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:44.679 someone that had a surgery or wasn't feeling well. And 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:47.879 so I learned from a very young age just the 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:50.680 love of card writing from my grandmother, and that was 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:54.880 one thing that I think nowadays has gone away very 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:59.160 lost art. Yes, so I just remember being a part 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:00.600 of that group, and I was as a kid, and 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:04.080 then everyone else was so much older and being okay 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:07.800 with it or comfortable. And fast forward going into my 0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:12.360 adult years. I studied songwriting for a couple of years overseas, 0:18:12.440 --> 0:18:15.640 and I studied the Bible for a year in Florida, 0:18:15.680 --> 0:18:18.240 and I really wasn't sure what I wanted to do 0:18:19.040 --> 0:18:22.320 and what was next for me. I ended up moving 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:27.359 to Georgia, and I eventually had a few jobs that 0:18:27.400 --> 0:18:32.399 I wasn't particularly interested in, banking and some like administrative 0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:34.680 type of things. And the last job that I had, 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:37.280 I knew that I was not doing what I should 0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:40.080 be doing, and I was trying to figure out how 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:42.240 I could get to the point where I was working 0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:44.919 with seniors because I felt like that was where my 0:18:45.119 --> 0:18:49.200 life was kind of going. So still working a job 0:18:49.240 --> 0:18:53.800 I wasn't necessarily loving. In Atlanta, I started, I guess 0:18:53.920 --> 0:18:57.440 you kind of say booking or started contacting senior communities 0:18:57.560 --> 0:18:59.879 in the Atlanta area and I would just go and 0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:03.640 sing and play for thirty minutes or an hour, and 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:07.080 it was there that I really fell in love with 0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:10.800 individuals with dementia and Alzheimer's. I got to see a 0:19:10.800 --> 0:19:14.360 little closer up what kind of challenges they had and 0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:16.879 just who they were, and so I really fell in 0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:21.760 love with that population. Fast forward a few more years 0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:24.480 in twenty eighteen, my husband and I moved for him 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:28.399 to pursue music, and I really wasn't sure what I 0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:31.560 was going to do for a job. I was at 0:19:31.560 --> 0:19:35.520 that time working with a small business that did assisted 0:19:35.560 --> 0:19:41.080 living placements, so basically helping families find communities like Ape's 0:19:41.080 --> 0:19:44.960 Garden for their loved ones. So I did that for 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:48.160 a year. I ended up working at another senior community, 0:19:48.520 --> 0:19:51.760 but I really I had heard about Ape's Garden and 0:19:51.880 --> 0:19:54.479 really wanted to be here in a part of what 0:19:54.520 --> 0:19:59.040 they were doing, and so I started in twenty nineteen. 0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:01.600 At the end of twenty nineteen as a life engagement 0:20:01.640 --> 0:20:04.880 coordinator and was a part of the team that does 0:20:04.920 --> 0:20:08.840 all the engagement groups, and I really learned a lot. 0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:14.399 My background wouldn't have said you're going to be in 0:20:14.440 --> 0:20:19.120 front of people talking or teaching. I would have never 0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:24.879 seen myself doing that. I was pretty introverted, and like 0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:28.000 I was a banker for a long time and I 0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:32.159 just kind of was comfortable in other fields, but I 0:20:32.200 --> 0:20:35.000 wouldn't say being in front of people was ever a 0:20:35.000 --> 0:20:35.680 comfortable thing. 0:20:36.480 --> 0:20:38.360 Well, and I can speak to this. When I come 0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:40.680 in here, I always see Valerie and she's in front 0:20:40.680 --> 0:20:44.000 of a group of older individuals and they're whether they're 0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:47.679 learning about Hawaii, or they're talking about music with Dolly Parton, 0:20:47.880 --> 0:20:51.240 or they're having a wine and cheese party. I've witnessed 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:53.800