00:00:08 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. 00:00:17 Speaker 2: But you're a guess to my home. 00:00:21 Speaker 1: You gotta come to be empty, and I said, no guests. Your presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare. 00:00:36 Speaker 3: To surbey me? 00:00:50 Speaker 2: Welcome to? I said, no gifts. I'm Bridget Wineger. I hope you're doing something that calms you down, unless this is this podcas is some part of a high intensity workout, and that case turn it up. I don't blame you because today, good grief my guest, who could ask for more? Today we have Karen Kilgarif, Hello Bridger, Karen. Welcome to. I said no gifts and also welcome to your home. 00:01:21 Speaker 4: Welcome to my home. 00:01:22 Speaker 2: Recording from your home. It's true. 00:01:24 Speaker 4: Isn't it exciting to be around a person? 00:01:26 Speaker 2: It's exhilarating, It's truly. I mean, we've talked about this off microphone, but I haven't seen people I love in a long time, and they began to feel like they were part of some sort of algorithm. I would see them on a screen and I just felt like they were placed there as proof that there was something out there but may not exist. In reality. 00:01:46 Speaker 5: Yeah, so it's kind of like a lie or propaganda in some way. 00:01:49 Speaker 2: Right, Maybe everything else collapsed and the computer is just trying to keep these things going in some way make you feel better, right? Yes? Have you been in touch with many people over Zoom outside of podcasting. I have. 00:02:02 Speaker 5: I'm one of those people that one of the first to have a birthday in quarantine. 00:02:08 Speaker 2: Or cors some of the quarantine baby. 00:02:10 Speaker 4: I'm a quarantine baby and I'm gonna have one. I'm hell bent. 00:02:14 Speaker 5: No, so yeah, I think that whole idea of like seeing people on Zoom. 00:02:20 Speaker 4: We've recorded other podcasts on Zoom. 00:02:22 Speaker 5: I had my birthday party with my sister and Adrian and Lauren and my niece Nora. 00:02:29 Speaker 4: We played some fun Zoom true games. 00:02:31 Speaker 2: What Zoom games did you play? 00:02:34 Speaker 4: I'm trying to remember. I think we did quip Lash. No, that's the last time we did it was Maybe we played Yachtzi. 00:02:43 Speaker 2: I care it was some Is there an online Yachtzi? 00:02:46 Speaker 4: No? No, we just all roll our separate. 00:02:49 Speaker 2: Separately YACHTSA is not a bad idea for this sort of thing, No. 00:02:53 Speaker 5: It's not, because it's kind of it's almost like a background game, right, we're chit chatting. 00:02:58 Speaker 2: Yes, we've played Yazi to get although anytime that it comes up now I try to derail it immediately because I cannot remember the rules. 00:03:06 Speaker 5: No one actually likes Yati, but me and I have made our group of friends who have a game night together. That's how game night started. It was actually supposed to be Yazi, Yes, Yazi, and that fell apart so quickly on the first night. 00:03:22 Speaker 2: I have to say largely due to me, you. 00:03:25 Speaker 4: And Loveness together. 00:03:26 Speaker 2: Yes, I mean we kind of neither of us could ever remember the rules. Everyone else was on top of it, probably played it growing up or something, yes, And he and I step in don't know what's going on, and so I would just kind of try to keep the conversation moving so we would avoid the game. 00:03:42 Speaker 5: I'm sorry, no, hey, I mean game night is different to all different people. Everyone's there for different reasons. I think we've really found our groove now that like we're doing more of quiplashy draw full type of stuff on the zoom. But I think Yatzi, it's almost like you're learning how to play poker as a. 00:04:02 Speaker 2: Child, yes, or if you're me as an adult. 00:04:05 Speaker 4: Or as an adult, which is insulting. Of course, it's just humiliating. 00:04:09 Speaker 2: I mean anything that involves cards. For some reason, my brain cannot retain that information. I don't know. Maybe it's just because it's every year and a half I play them, yes and it will. Yeah. 00:04:21 Speaker 5: So that's almost like an habitual thing where people are saying stuff to you like it's either a run or a straight and you're just kind of panickang right about it. And also like for myself and Sam Mohen who Sam taught me the best, he almost approaches it like a statistician, where he was like, you don't want less than three of the number for the top part because he told me some trick. 00:04:44 Speaker 2: It feels like he read a book yes on the game. 00:04:47 Speaker 4: Well, he's very smart. 00:04:48 Speaker 2: Yes, he's got a real analytical mind. Yes. 00:04:51 Speaker 5: So I think we talked about things like that at the table in front of people in a way that was maybe lightly panic inducing, like that we were much more serious about the game of Yachta. 00:05:00 Speaker 2: Well, of course, hearing Sam explain the little trick, I don't understand the basic rules, and he's talking theory, Yazzi theory, Nazzi game theory. Yes, so he lost me, and it was so intimidating. Yes, and also. 00:05:13 Speaker 5: We're all it's a sober game night, which I don't think anyone else in America. 00:05:18 Speaker 2: Does well outside of my home state. So I'm very used to a sober game night coming from Utah. But everyone else is having a blast, getting a little drunk and having a good time. Right we're all quietly rolling the dice. We it's a real churchy vibe. It's a suber church. 00:05:35 Speaker 5: If I have to be comfortable with church, I think they're you know there, it's only for certain people. 00:05:40 Speaker 4: But now it's we've gotten it. 00:05:42 Speaker 5: It's a little less rigid because the games are much more kind of conceptual and creative, as opposed to are you going to if you get a three, a six, of one and a five, or you're going to keep the one in the four and you already have the three. 00:05:53 Speaker 2: It's like my brain doesn't have the room for the numbers. I need to just be having casual conversation, just chatting. 00:06:00 Speaker 5: I'm usually that person, but I do have the background. So it reminds me of being at the lake. 00:06:04 Speaker 2: Of course, and that's who doesn't like to be at the lake. I love the lake. I yeah, I've done some Zoom game nights with you with various people, and I have a good time. But you know, it's my same problem as that I have with Cards against Humanity, which is somebody is trying to be funny on the other end of the game, the creation of the game, and so I need that part of it to be neutral. I need an apples to apples neutral where it's literally just words, not somebody's idea of what's funny. So I bump up against that occasionally and I just am a stick in the mud and say I refuse to answer, and I don't know that people are thrilled with that. 00:06:40 Speaker 5: It makes me laugh every time because and it is a very I think that's the difficulty with comedy writers is we're always competing with the world at large. So it's like, this isn't as funny as if we wrote it. Is what I approach almost everything with, which is a obnoxious and might not even be true, but it's hard to not have those whatever. The thing is the prompts that come up and then you just go ugh, you know, like, yes, we can't not do that. 00:07:11 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm being dragged into a Spencer's gifts by someone with a faux haawk or something. 00:07:16 Speaker 4: But then there's a couple where they catch you by surprise occasionally. 00:07:19 Speaker 2: It's fun. Yes, and you know, God bless whoever is creating this game, they're entertaining all of us. 00:07:25 Speaker 4: They clearly know what they're doing. It's a very popular game. 00:07:27 Speaker 2: Yes, we're all on board with it totally. It's called Quiplash, Yes, and. 00:07:32 Speaker 5: It's by the people who made the great Internet trivia game. You don't know, Jack right when. I will absolutely give them this one thousand percent. The first time I played that long ago, I mean that was like the early two thousands. 00:07:46 Speaker 2: Those games have been around forever for so long. 00:07:48 Speaker 5: I mean, they really know what they're doing, and that as a highly competitive comedy writer, I was blown away by how well it was done, how engaging it was, and how hilarious it. 00:07:58 Speaker 2: Was and good trivia. Yes, I don't remember exactly how it works. My only concern with that was I feel like the announcer's voice was a little morning Zoo. 00:08:07 Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like the announcers was the person who made up the game. 00:08:10 Speaker 2: But I guess you don't want me being the announcer of a game like that. 00:08:13 Speaker 5: Let's hear what it would sound like if you were the announcer of a game. 00:08:16 Speaker 2: It would be the sound of somebody quietly falling asleep around their TV. 00:08:20 Speaker 4: Or every every time you go to read a question, you'd be like. 00:08:25 Speaker 2: Like a judgmental can not believe I'm reading this. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed for everyone here and I'm sorry. Maybe that's the game the world needs right now. Maybe that'll be a post quarantine after we've all of our nerves are fried and we're all just sick. I swoop in, Yeah, with my game, my j you don't know Jack. 00:08:49 Speaker 4: You you don't know Jack Is. 00:08:51 Speaker 5: There's a square that's yellow, and then there's a square that's blue, which one. 00:08:55 Speaker 3: Yes, that's my game, that's my dream game. It's like yellow, Yes, yes, it's yellow. I want good for you. I must be happy for you, and we're happy you're here. 00:09:07 Speaker 4: Now let's get super drunk because it's the end of quarantine. 00:09:11 Speaker 2: Yeah, what is the end of quarantine even going to look like? I mean, I think you were the last person I saw a movie with. Yeah, we saw Gretel and Hans was a portress of a lady go on fire. But Gretel and Hansel didn't have a great time. 00:09:29 Speaker 5: Wasn't the last film I'd want to see? Actually I did see a movie before the day before. 00:09:36 Speaker 2: Oh what do you see? 00:09:38 Speaker 5: Extraordinary with Mave Higgins and Phil will Forte where she has. 00:09:43 Speaker 2: ESP It was really and this is the kind of ghost movie or whatever I wanted to see that it had it had just come out. 00:09:49 Speaker 5: I bought tickets like a couple of weeks before because they were doing a guest panel and Mave and Will were supposed to. 00:09:56 Speaker 4: Be there, and of course it was campe Wow. 00:09:58 Speaker 5: So we showed up and I was like, no panel and they're like, no, no panel. 00:10:02 Speaker 6: So they just showed the movie. The movie's called Extraordinary, I think. So that feels I feel like we we should have thought a little harder. That feels like, you know, one of those Disney hockey movies or something. 00:10:15 Speaker 5: It's when the when the penguins start playing hockey. I think it's well, it's an Irish yeah, it wonderful. So that might be what they call like, yes, oh sure, that's a nice way to describe ESP or a supernatural power. 00:10:30 Speaker 2: Oh extra extraordinary interesting? Well, I mean I feel like I have a little bit of esp I'm to be honest, I really I've been going back and listening to the first sixteen episodes of this podcast that we recorded, thank god pre quarantine. Yeah you did. I'm just going to plant my flag. I think I'm a conduit to the future. Did you start some of the things I'm saying on this I feel like on some level I knew what was going to happen. 00:11:00 Speaker 4: You were telling people to back up five more feet. 00:11:02 Speaker 2: I'm saying, you've got to have six feet. Everyone's got to be wearing a mask. The president doesn't see this coming, I was saying it. No, I there are some things that just feel oddly prescient or something, but also coincidence, this sort of thing, or it's a simulation, and that's just being fed through me. 00:11:20 Speaker 4: I'm getting this simulation feeling a lot. 00:11:22 Speaker 2: It feels that way, right, Yes, I remember. I feel like you told me you were talking to somebody who is an expert on this sort of thing, and somebody basically said, uh, do you think we're living in a simulation? Two with this expert and he basically said what he said, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. It was my favorite. It was since it was a. 00:11:43 Speaker 5: Quantum physicist who came in on a sitcom I wrote on that was a time time travel sickly right, And we they basically brought him in so that we could ask questions, so that we would kind of write accurately to how conceptual time travel may or may not work, to kind of guide the story arc so that it didn't wasn't just like crazy bullshit that people are like, did you think about this for one second? But then of course, because there is this physicist there, we started and he was like young and cute, and so everyone's like asking questions and somebody it went into like a Harry Potter area or whatever. But at one point somebody said, you know there's been discussion of this or like proof or whatever, and do you think we're living in a simulation? And without a pause, he goes, it doesn't matter. 00:12:29 Speaker 2: Did he back that up with you? He just said, just the fact. 00:12:31 Speaker 5: That it's so real to us, Like those kinds of questions are don't well, never if we are living in a simulation, they've made it so we don't. 00:12:41 Speaker 2: Know it, So it doesn't there's no breaking through it. 00:12:44 Speaker 5: There's right, and like it's and so this reality even if that is the truth, we still have to live this reality. 00:12:51 Speaker 2: Right, So so. 00:12:52 Speaker 5: Going into that those lines of theoretical conceptual thinking kind of don't get you anywhere. 00:12:59 Speaker 2: It's just mind get I mean, just exercises basically to think about. 00:13:04 Speaker 5: Right, and at the end of the day, you still have to or you should, like for the human body or this is now my theory. But this is what I took from what he said and why I was so thrilled by it is if this say it is a simulation, what's good for this program of being a human being is human other human connection relationships, repair work in those relationships, you know, being a responsible person, being a conscientious person, caring about what happens to other people. So it's not like you can just check out and be like, fuck off, it's a simulation, because you will then die. 00:13:37 Speaker 2: It's going to be a horrible Now, it's just going to be the bad version of the simulation. So who cares? Yeah, and then you're going to die and the simulation masters are going to say, well, you wasted your simulation. Never do that program. You almost broke the whole thing. 00:13:50 Speaker 5: You almost broke the machine that we're all floating in sacks, like all of it is so dire. It's like, that's what I took from it, is like this, this line of thinking only gets you to like such a bummer place. 00:14:04 Speaker 4: But there's so much. 00:14:06 Speaker 2: Look at it. There's so much beautiful simulation to look at. Yes, and so many little nooks and grant news to discover, so why not? Yeah, and so many fun characters that's populated with. 00:14:16 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like that's like in Grand Theft Auto if you just which sometimes we would do. My ex had it and played it constantly, and sometimes you would just drive down to like a weird part of the docks and just stand there, like what are you doing? He's like, I don't know, I just want to be in this area for a while. 00:14:34 Speaker 2: You can do that. You can go down to part of Reality Choices. 00:14:38 Speaker 4: Nothing's programmed down there, so you're just going to stand there. 00:14:41 Speaker 2: Yeah, No one's going to come up after a while. Yeah, or you're going to be arrested or something. Yeah. Oh geez. The simulation, the simulation. If you picked a summer jam. 00:14:58 Speaker 5: Not well no, not yet. I do know that there's a new Lady Gagas. 00:15:02 Speaker 2: She's got a whole new album. 00:15:04 Speaker 4: Out the whole album came out right. 00:15:06 Speaker 2: Oh, chromatica I believe is what it's called. 00:15:09 Speaker 4: See I it's. 00:15:11 Speaker 5: I'm an older person and we don't belong in society after no, after twenty five you get out. Yeah, who cares what you think? But I am very much a torri Amos. 00:15:22 Speaker 2: Oh sure. 00:15:23 Speaker 5: When Lady Gaga came along, there was definitely a feeling of isn't this tory Amos with meat a meat? 00:15:31 Speaker 2: Sure? Yeah, there is a little bit of that, like artistry or presentational artistry at least. 00:15:37 Speaker 5: Yes, kind of operatic piano presentation. But I like it and respect it and think she's great and busser ass and does a lot of really cool stuff. 00:15:47 Speaker 4: Right and. 00:15:52 Speaker 5: One time, and so I enjoy those songs when I hear them on the radio. I don't pursue it, but then it's always great when I when it comes to me. One time we were when we were on tour, I think twenty eighteen. We were on a European tour and we were in Amsterdam. Me and Georgia and Vince were walking down the street and a guy rode by on a bike not using his hands with these big headphones on going I don't know how that song actually goes, but like all approximate where he's like pop pop pop pap poker face, like top of his lungs. So like, I like that. I like the effects she's had on pop culture. I like the whole kind of It's almost like a theater kid gone wild. 00:16:35 Speaker 2: Love it, Karen Bridger. Listen, this feels a little bit like Undercover Boss. You of course have your podcast network exactly right, it's that produces this podcast. I've been looking forward to having you as a guest. Have you there's been the secret shopper aspect, and if this ends up being an inspection, I don't know what I'm gonna do. But all that, I feel like you have a decent idea of what this podcast is all about. You know the title. You're the one who wanted to make it a podcast. The podcast is called I said no gifts, and a couple of weeks ago we coordinated this schedule for me to appear at your house. Yes, you knew I was coming, you knew what the rule of the podcast was. Yet when I show up here, yeah, you have what appears to be some sort of gift for. 00:17:25 Speaker 4: Me, I sure do. 00:17:27 Speaker 2: It's a piece of paper. It is that I saw you print out and made you turn away. And also, weirdly, this is just a side note. Yesterday I thought maybe I'll bring Karen a gift on the podcast. I thought I should bring her a stack of printer paper. 00:17:43 Speaker 4: No, I'm not kidding, because you are psychic. 00:17:46 Speaker 2: I am psychic. It's so insane to me. I thought I should bring printer paper because people never have printer paper. 00:17:52 Speaker 4: I am running out as. 00:17:53 Speaker 2: We speak, and then, of course, being me, didn't do it. But I just want to prove to the world there's some going on. I may be in control of the simulation. Yeah, I might be, like eventually I'm gonna have to be placing some more sort of machine that like powers the rest of it. But all that aside, you got me a gift. Yeah, I didn't ask for this. But should I look at the gift? Would you like to? 00:18:16 Speaker 4: It's basically you're going to read a piece of paper. 00:18:19 Speaker 2: Well, and well, should we talk about the other element that I've something has been hinted at or something we listened in the headphones? 00:18:25 Speaker 4: Yes, there's an audio that goes with it. 00:18:27 Speaker 2: Right, you were on a website getting this gift through the headphones because you didn't know what was happening. I listened and there's some sort of sound effect that sounded like a creaky house or a airplane, some sort of sound. So I've already gotten a peek into whatever this is. It could be anything. In my mind is running wild. 00:18:46 Speaker 4: Do you have any guesses? Do we want to do a little pregame. 00:18:49 Speaker 2: My only guess is you bought me a haunted house. 00:18:53 Speaker 4: Oh damn it. Now this is going to be a huge, just. 00:18:56 Speaker 2: A very strange realty website. It would be amazing. 00:18:59 Speaker 4: I'm like, we're just going to walk the street. 00:19:00 Speaker 2: Here's your house. You're living with a family of ghosts. 00:19:04 Speaker 5: It's going to be cold, sometimes cold patches everywhere, range chills in the middle. 00:19:10 Speaker 2: Of the night, no window page. I'm very excited to see whatever this is. 00:19:13 Speaker 5: I am too, because when I thought of this, I actually texted Stephen and said, has this gift ever been given? Because when it came to me, it was so great that I thought immediately, I bet you He's told me he's gotten this already and that's why. 00:19:29 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it like burrowed into your memory and you thought that when. 00:19:32 Speaker 5: Ideas come to you, and then you're like, like, speaking of Sam Owen, I've ripped off tweets of his so many times. 00:19:38 Speaker 2: Because I mean constant terror of that. 00:19:39 Speaker 5: It's the worst feeling. Like I thought of this because Sam did it. 00:19:43 Speaker 2: Oh yeah. If I think of a tweet or like a new show idea or whatever, I do it in extremely deep dive into the Internet as much as possible, because I live in fear of ripping someone off. Yes, entirely, but it happens to everybody because your brain is our brains barely function and all have. 00:20:00 Speaker 4: The same brain. Because this is absolutely a simulation. 00:20:09 Speaker 2: This is my gift to you. Take it to Okay, So this is a piece of paper that the top says take a tour. There's some sort of ticket at the top. You are now looking at the star named Oh Wow, at the star named Bridger A twelve. The star has been registered in the online Star Register by Karen Kilgart. The coordinates It gives the coordinates of this star and it's located in the constellation Libra. This is insane to me. I mean, we've got to get into this. 00:20:36 Speaker 4: I bought Bridger his own star mate. 00:20:39 Speaker 2: I've gotta go goodbye. I've gotta go. Oh and the so I mean again, we have to get into this on a variety of levels, but I want to read some more details. There are the facts about the star. The star name is Bridger A twelve. There's an OSR code. Who knows what that means? I imagine original star reachgist, just f recoat. There we go. Oh, probably occasion baby boy birth. So I'm a baby boy. Thank you the stars for me. The coordinates constellation Libra, which I'm a Libra. Everybody knows that. And so okay, So I was on do you need a ride? Years ago? Yes, twenty fifteen, I feel like your other podcast, and we got into this thing about my name. You had heard this, explain this. 00:21:29 Speaker 4: So Bridge, So it is a Mormon, traditional Mormon name, Bridger, Bridger A twelve, not just Bridger by itself. 00:21:39 Speaker 2: Where is this information coming from? 00:21:41 Speaker 5: Well, originally it was from Shan Tejarachi, right, who is a person that we met through basically at the beginning the beginning of my Twitter days, right, And so it was kind of a it was one. I think it's one of the first things you and I talked about that night that we all hung out at that bar in. 00:21:59 Speaker 2: On your work well right, and the park, yeah, Highland Park. 00:22:02 Speaker 5: But anyway, it's basically, what an interesting name, and that was Sean's piece of information is that's actually according to him, that's something. 00:22:11 Speaker 4: And we looked it up because you know, he's obsessed with names, right, right, and so we. 00:22:15 Speaker 2: Looked it up and it is that he's also has some Mormon background, does he really? Yeah? Oh I don't know that. Yeah, I don't know. 00:22:23 Speaker 5: He kept it from me well anyway, so I just always thought that that was in my in my head quietly every time I say your first name, I add An eight twelve. 00:22:33 Speaker 2: I love that so much. It's also so grime z elon Musk. 00:22:38 Speaker 4: It is, and it's doesn't it sound like a star already? 00:22:41 Speaker 2: Yeah? It does. Bridger A twelve or set light speed towards Bridger A twelve twelve. We've got a visit Bridger at home. 00:22:48 Speaker 5: So this is so basically it was kind of like it had to do with that, but also it was that idea of you've already been given you know what, ten sixteen gifts. 00:22:59 Speaker 2: However, my yeah, yeah, by the time this airs, it will be sixteen different gifts and no one's given me a star. 00:23:05 Speaker 5: Well, because this is to me and the way I approach all of life. This is a big competition. 00:23:09 Speaker 4: So I'm not going to come in and try to give you some like, oh, I know you love cookies, so here's that. 00:23:14 Speaker 2: You know what I mean? 00:23:15 Speaker 4: I need to go. It's like I've bought you a star. 00:23:18 Speaker 2: Yes, there's nothing more that anyone could buy you me except haunted house. 00:23:23 Speaker 5: Hanted house, which of course it's now disappointing, but I didn't think of it. 00:23:26 Speaker 2: But there could be a hanted house on the star. We don't know what's there. But here's the thing. 00:23:31 Speaker 5: I look up this idea because it's like when you actually look up how to buy someone a star, which is literally what I googled. So many podcasts, so many websites come up to direct you to these different places. 00:23:44 Speaker 4: So then I find the one that has NASA in it. 00:23:47 Speaker 5: Okay, and it's a whole article about how this is not real and that basically it's a scam, and it's a scam that now it was. It started out the online star registry, right scam. They were just doing it by themselves, but now all kinds of people are doing it, so there's no place you can't ever take the the In the mail, you are going to get a certificate. 00:24:13 Speaker 2: Oh I cannot wait. 00:24:14 Speaker 4: That's official and it's real nice. 00:24:16 Speaker 5: I signed you up for the higher level, the higher level of the gift, wh I thought was going to be thousands of dollars and I was totally willing to do it for the joke. And it was like, it's fifty three dollars. 00:24:27 Speaker 2: Oh, give me a break. That's fully worth a certificate so much? 00:24:31 Speaker 4: And you don't. 00:24:31 Speaker 5: You're not just going to get a certificate that looks kind of like a high school graduation. 00:24:37 Speaker 2: Thing. Sure, certificate. What are those called? 00:24:39 Speaker 3: Uh? 00:24:40 Speaker 2: Oh no, diploma, Yes, that word vanished from my mind. It's like, oh yeah, it's definitely a certificate, a high school certificate. It looks like a diploma. 00:24:50 Speaker 5: It says it's your star, and it's not so that as far as it goes. And essentially, if you try to go anywhere, NASA would be like, go fuck yourself twelve you get nothing, which I think is kind of great. 00:25:03 Speaker 2: Whoever is inhabiting the star, I mean I might be the owner, the new president there or something, and that I mean I've got I mean nobody steal my new television show Idea Bridger owns a Star. 00:25:15 Speaker 4: Please don't raise rent. 00:25:16 Speaker 2: What happens when an idiot in Los Angeles takes over your star and you're in charge of that simulation? Yeah, oh my god, please come on. I mean, maybe it's the Heaven's Gate people. Oh no, they're on hay uh. We're on the comment the common zipping around on Hail Bob. Yeah, they've still got a website. They do. 00:25:38 Speaker 5: So when I saw that this was fake, right, I clicked on the web. There is a website talking about it, and it is the most angel fire black back of course, and that also I was going to print out for you, but I didn't. I don't think I have the color thing in Let me see if I can find it, because I did. It's the funniest website that's basically like, this isn't real. 00:26:03 Speaker 4: It's clearly from nineteen ninety six. Okay, I can't find it, but basically there is a I'll try to print that up for you as well. 00:26:10 Speaker 5: That basically it's kind of like there's an MS paint astronaut on the side and it's like these links of like it's basically there to say they're busting this concept. 00:26:22 Speaker 2: So wait, is this the website where the sound effect was coming from. 00:26:26 Speaker 5: No, that's that's from them where you buy it, and it's very official, and they basically as you're buying it, because I started doing it and then I was like in the middle of it when you pulled up, and so I was trying to tell you, I'm trying to get it done really fast because I'm always twenty minutes late, even in a pandemic, twenty minutes late for everything. So I was trying to get it done really fast and without you like seeing it. And then this fucking outer spit that the sound was outer space. 00:26:53 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that makes sense. It was kind of a space wind. Yeah. Is there wind in space? 00:26:57 Speaker 3: Ye? 00:26:58 Speaker 4: I mean no, what do they have on solar flare sound? 00:27:03 Speaker 2: I guess there is no sound in space. So that's the problem. 00:27:07 Speaker 4: Just the sound from space movies that they put on. 00:27:09 Speaker 2: Yeah, this was some sort of satellite or I don't know what that was, but it was haunting, its eerie, and uh, space sent a chill down my spine. Great, so that's probably what I have to get used to on my star. 00:27:23 Speaker 5: That's right. 00:27:24 Speaker 2: Just the sound of my well, not even my voice. 00:27:26 Speaker 4: What would you hear the scream inside your mind? 00:27:31 Speaker 2: Well, I hear that here. So it's just like life on Earth. 00:27:35 Speaker 4: Listen, it's gonna If you go, it'll be there too. 00:27:38 Speaker 2: And if I go, you're going. 00:27:39 Speaker 4: Please, so please take me. 00:27:42 Speaker 2: You me Elon and Grimes and baby make ai ao x A. Yes, wow, stars. Yeah, I feel like I'm now in a real position, a real Do you know who I am positioned? Do you know who you're talking? 00:28:00 Speaker 5: If you get pulled over for drunk driving? This is what unfold this from your wallet road, It's me. 00:28:06 Speaker 2: The owner of Libra bridgeryt Twell, take it to the Intergalactic Court Officer. I am a star owner, Karen. This is an incredible gift. What are you? Are you a space person? Enjoy thinking about space? 00:28:21 Speaker 4: Give me a weird stomach ache? 00:28:23 Speaker 2: Really? Does it make you nervous? Yes? 00:28:26 Speaker 4: I just don't. I feel like and not. 00:28:29 Speaker 5: This sounds a little bit. There's so many problems we have here. Yes, I don't know why we're doing anything in space at all. When people are literally laying on the street in downtown Los Angeles on the sidewalk, that concept drives me insane. But it started like nas and everything started back before, you know, the caving of the society and middle class and everything like that. 00:28:53 Speaker 4: It's but these days it makes me nuts and it's kind of it feels like that, like well we all us dream and go to stufs whatever, and it's like, yeah, but there's you have to do this. 00:29:05 Speaker 2: Just dream about people not living intents in the middle of a city area. That feels like a beautiful dream. 00:29:10 Speaker 4: Dream dream about funding middle schools. Of course, please sit like that, yes please so no fully under fully agreed. 00:29:19 Speaker 5: But I do like the concept of astronomy is fascinating to me, Like being in the same room as a physicist was thrilling to me, like that that someone could be that. 00:29:31 Speaker 2: Smart, that knowledgeable about something that's just beyond my reasoning whatsoever. 00:29:36 Speaker 5: I see those like in a movie when there's like a big equation on a board because you're in a like a quantum theory class or a astronomy is class, not astrology astronomy class, and it just makes me want to leave the room I'm watching the movie, like get away from that level of education. 00:29:56 Speaker 2: I hate it now that you bring that up. Has it a giant equation ever been written on a chalkboard? I don't know that. I feel like that's just an invention of that something that I would think would be in a smart call because I never went to good college classes. That's what I would imagine was happening in one of those. But is that really happening. I mean, what's the point of that. 00:30:20 Speaker 4: I don't know. 00:30:21 Speaker 2: Yeah, amount of chalk in the air. Can't you just. 00:30:23 Speaker 4: Write it on your binder paper right in front of. 00:30:25 Speaker 2: You right or laps, like make a xerox and pass it around the classroom or whatever. 00:30:30 Speaker 5: And also it takes so long. That used to drive me insane. I had in sixth grade. I had a teacher and he used to write on the board and he used to only use his index finger and thumb to hold the chalk and then it would take forever and he would he had really nice handwriting. But I was like, what we could be collapsing this amount of time that you're taking to write, like, you know, whatever is the capital of Italy and just say it. 00:30:57 Speaker 2: Just well we're all sitting here in front of you. Yeah that's interesting. 00:31:01 Speaker 4: But click click clickick. You know that used to be a huge part. 00:31:04 Speaker 2: Is so presentational or what is he trying to prove there. 00:31:08 Speaker 4: That it's nineteen thirty two. 00:31:10 Speaker 2: Out of here, I'm now thinking about my sixth grade teacher, mister Morris, who we all thought was he had another job and that he wouldn't talk about, and we thought he worked for the CIA, and then we found out he worked in an old folks home. Oh no, they don't pay teachers in that, right, So it was like this mystery we all had that we lived with was so exciting. But he just, you know, just the public education system is underfunded and mister Morris needed. But then also he was very far right, and there was some you know, some conspiracy theories being thrown out to sixth graders, which felt wrong, okay, that. 00:31:46 Speaker 5: Concept of I went to a high school and we had several not okay teachers not saying I think, I think it's safe to say not sane. And one of them was a. 00:31:57 Speaker 4: Theology teacher who was a priest. 00:31:59 Speaker 2: Right. 00:31:59 Speaker 5: He stood in front of the class and used to draw diagrams of downtown San Francisco Union Square and he would talk about the communists, how the Communists are taking over Gumps, which was this department store in like in Union Square, San Francisco. That's very fancy. 00:32:16 Speaker 2: It was almost like called gumps. Gumps was the name of this is obviously pre forest pre forest gump because gum sounds like like the department sword that would be attached to the shrimp company entirely. 00:32:30 Speaker 5: But it was some you know when you went in there, like you'd go in there at Christmas time and they would have like entire sets of china that were you know, Christmas theme. You would go there if you had a rich relative that was trying to buy a gift for someone, sure, and nothing was of use at all. 00:32:47 Speaker 4: It was all decorative like. 00:32:49 Speaker 2: Crystals and clutter your home with crystal. 00:32:51 Speaker 4: Yeah, and show your great nephew that you're rich. 00:32:54 Speaker 2: Yes you could have paid for him to go to college, but. 00:32:56 Speaker 4: No, you need this ash tray. 00:32:59 Speaker 5: It's a formative astrays and he drew I'll never forget it because I was sitting back there, and my mom was a psychiatric nurse so she would talk about different forms of different personality disorders often. So I would just sit there watching him, being like this man is not okay. And he would literally draw show us where the the Communists were, like the different buildings that they were perched on watching Gumps, and it was this whole theory, but no one said a word because we didn't want to actually read the Bible and have to do assignments. 00:33:33 Speaker 2: And so this is way more fun to listen to. 00:33:35 Speaker 4: Yeah, we just all sat there and pretended to take notes and let him rant and then leave, and we didn't have to do anything. 00:33:42 Speaker 1: I need. 00:33:43 Speaker 2: I have a question about these theories. Why were the communists watching Gumps? Uh? Yeah, they just just keeping an eye on unchecked capitalism or what. 00:33:57 Speaker 4: It was kind of this idea that I think he It was this kind of strange fantasy about communism and what they're planning to do to our society and what the important elements of our society like Gumps department store or whatever. 00:34:15 Speaker 2: Yeah, the cornerstone of America, Gus Gumps. 00:34:18 Speaker 5: He also would do a thing where like every it was this my high school. It was great in a lot of ways. There were some really amazing teachers, but then there was the ones that were off their rockers. There was this kind of silent consensus that nobody was going to say anything because those were the classes where you just didn't have to do anything. 00:34:37 Speaker 2: Of course, Yeah, why would you report that you're right? You just play a lion off. 00:34:41 Speaker 5: Yeah, and no homework and no kind of like now and now I'm reading from job twenty three, you know what I mean, there's. 00:34:48 Speaker 2: No you just get to talk about on a podcast three years later. 00:34:52 Speaker 5: In my mind, I was like, this is an anecdote that he's going to survive. 00:34:56 Speaker 2: This unbelievable. I had a fifth grade teacher that I remember shut down class one day to tell us about the evils of Wiji boards and face cards and just basically to spend the day talking about Satan. This isn't a fully public school. This was not We were not at Catholic school, were not well, I mean, I guess every school at Utah's and Mormon school, but like this was just a regular school and suddenly we're just talking about Satan avoiding the devil? Sorry, what are face cards? Literally like a playing cards? She was like, she thought she referred to them as face cards, and she thinks, I mean, what am I trying to explain here? It was insanity, But like, truly, we spent the day talking about the dangers of Satan. 00:35:42 Speaker 5: I have to agree with her. Not on the face cards. But on the Ouiji board, I think Weiji boards are. 00:35:46 Speaker 3: So do we really? 00:35:47 Speaker 2: I do? Have you when was last time you used one? I will not have you ever used one? 00:35:53 Speaker 4: I think we did a little bit. 00:35:54 Speaker 5: We had it because you know, like the Parker Brothers put out like a Weiji. 00:35:57 Speaker 2: Of course, it is a weird thing to see in kmart or whatever. It's like, oh, that's like right next to Monopoly. 00:36:02 Speaker 4: Yes, it's to me, that's so seventies. That is the picture of the seventies. 00:36:06 Speaker 2: Well, and they have it updated the box art since the seventies. It looks amazing. 00:36:10 Speaker 4: Yes, it's like somebody has a bowl cut like a. 00:36:14 Speaker 2: Who was that? 00:36:14 Speaker 5: Figures Dorothy Hamill? Everyone had the Dorothy Hamil cut. But my aunt, my uncle Steve, died very suddenly when I was twelve. He had just had a heart attack and died. And then after I'll never forget, my aunt was cleaning out this closet and my cousin Lisa pulled out the Ouiji board and my aunt said, get rid of that thing. 00:36:33 Speaker 2: I want that out of the house. 00:36:34 Speaker 5: So that scared me because I was like, that's an adult basically going this is not okay. And then later on, I heard a story about a girl that I went to high school with who who always seemed a little bit very low key. And I was always fascinated by other girls having different personalities in me because I was like, why aren't you filled with like this intense social anxiety that's making you talk NonStop? Which is what my personal issue Like shy people, I'd always be like, how are you doing it? 00:37:03 Speaker 2: Tell me yourself, I can tell you. I'm happy to explain. Just shut it all down absolutely, the entire biologically. The system just shuts down, low heart rate. It's like a lizard on a rock. Yeah. So there. 00:37:19 Speaker 5: So there was a girl that another girl told me, Oh yeah, her and her friends and cousins did a Weiji board one night and they actually brought up the devil. 00:37:27 Speaker 4: And then I was like, that's why she's like that, because she was like had the shit scared out of her. 00:37:31 Speaker 2: Oh So I've. 00:37:33 Speaker 5: Always been like, keep cape those away from me, and people give us on the road and stuff, we will get gifts and I'm like, get it away from me. 00:37:41 Speaker 2: I can't. 00:37:42 Speaker 4: I don't want to mess with that. 00:37:44 Speaker 2: See I don't think I've ever done one officially, but I would love to. I would love to get in touch with the devil. No what I feel like if I got in touch with the devil, it would make everything make sense. I'd be like, Okay, well, the devil's real. He's trying to talk to me. I also, by the way, I just love the idea that there's like a guy who goes by the name the Devil. I mean, or at least unofficially, he's like running around Hell and he's the Devil, Like that's a person that exists. Now there is so fucking Have you talked to the devil today? 00:38:15 Speaker 4: Oh? 00:38:15 Speaker 2: He is. 00:38:16 Speaker 4: He'll mess with your mind. 00:38:17 Speaker 2: He's not in a good mood. 00:38:19 Speaker 4: Strangely, the Devil's being a real bitch. 00:38:22 Speaker 2: No, I need to get a But I feel like Jim would not be into a wage a board. I feel like because he was raised Catholic and also kind of buys into some of these more dramatic elements of all of this. Maybe I just need to be alone with a board. 00:38:35 Speaker 5: Please don't not during quarantine. You save it for your big celebration. 00:38:41 Speaker 2: When quarantine's broken, I will gather everyone and we'll be able to touch hands again. I guess it is a kind of a non quarantine game. 00:38:47 Speaker 4: Yeah, you have to I think three people men. 00:38:50 Speaker 2: Okay, from what I. 00:38:51 Speaker 5: Remember of that board game, right like looking at it and yeah, tiptoeing by the closet, it was I want to. 00:38:59 Speaker 2: Get in touch with the Ouiji. That reminds me. What was that movie that series we would go see with the couple who's battling evil, The Conjuring. Yeah, it's a Conjuring, right, The Conjuring two. Yes, I think those people were kind of scam artists. I've read they're like taking advantage or maybe you were telling me about it, like yes, taking advantage of people's grief or whatever. 00:39:20 Speaker 5: Well, I mean that's what that's what's always said about people who come in when supernatural occurrences are happening. So like there's I think it's The Conjuring three where it's based on a real story. And Georgia covered this on My Favorite Murder. It drops thursdays exactly. 00:39:38 Speaker 2: We've never heard of it. That thing isn't going to last another day. That's what I've been saying. People don't like true crime. 00:39:46 Speaker 5: No, it's the wave is definitely cresting for sure. But they in the third one, they. 00:39:53 Speaker 4: Go to this house in did we see this together in England? And the teenage daughter is like floating over her bed and they what they brought in neighbors, They brought in cops, They brought in all these people who all witnessed it. They had tons of witnesses, stuff flying around the house. 00:40:08 Speaker 2: Do you remember this, Oh, we didn't see this one. We saw The Nun, which was a spin off, which absolutely it's such a drag, but none was. 00:40:16 Speaker 5: The build up in our friend group who would go see those terrible movies was unbelievable and so excited. I was so excited for The Nun because it had the best trailer. 00:40:25 Speaker 2: Of course, the trailer actually scares you. This I was and we were probably together. 00:40:30 Speaker 5: Yes, we saw the Nun trailer, and people in the audience of the movie we were in to see that the. 00:40:35 Speaker 4: Trailer was playing in front of people screamed. 00:40:38 Speaker 2: I was scarier than the horror movie we saw after the trailer, yes, yes, And then the movie is just like a tableau of scary nun pictures. It's like a Marilyn Manson video or something. 00:40:48 Speaker 5: It's not it's not thought through well because they basically go to a haunted Castle, which absolutely bring it more. 00:40:55 Speaker 2: We need more movies and haunted anything please, a big stone. All is fog, low level fog. 00:41:02 Speaker 5: Something happened eleven hundred, you can explain, yes, all of it. Meanwhile, in the Nun, they're just they show up and then it's like, get ready, bad stuff happening, and then it's that shot of her coming out from the side. The end, it's like the same hallway they walked down with Scooby Doo style. 00:41:20 Speaker 2: They didn't even have like a cohesive nune design. It just felt like nuns from every movie you've ever seen. We've got a nun coming in to try to spook you. 00:41:29 Speaker 6: Yep. 00:41:30 Speaker 2: Didn't work for me. Such a disappointment. And also they didn't. 00:41:33 Speaker 4: It was like, why nuns inherently are scary? 00:41:37 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's all be scary. Well, then the costume is not pleasant to look at the non costume, I guess, well, it's not a uniform. 00:41:46 Speaker 4: Well, especially the sexy non costume that's offensive. 00:41:51 Speaker 2: These nuns work hard. 00:41:52 Speaker 4: What if a sexy nun came out from the side and scared everybody. 00:41:57 Speaker 2: I honestly, with that the way that movie unfold that I would have been like, oh, Yeah, of course they had a sex syt of course of other types of nuns. Yeah. 00:42:06 Speaker 5: Finally, it's like, oh, in this part of the castle there, it's Halloween, and so there's a bunch of sorority girls dressed like nuns. 00:42:11 Speaker 4: Get Ready, you're gonna flip out everybody. That would have been at least something, of course, but I just remember them there. They would walk through hallways and they'd be like straw in the corner. That's how you know it was a long time ago, because there was straw on the floor. Okay, perfect, I'm scared. Good job, everybody. 00:42:29 Speaker 2: Such a waste of a haunted castle, it really was. 00:42:31 Speaker 4: Maybe we need to write a haunted castle movie. 00:42:33 Speaker 2: Please. Maybe I think off off cast We talk conded castles. 00:42:39 Speaker 5: Yeah, if you are going to steal this idea, we will threaten we'll use this audio in court against you, and I will get the loudest speaker to play it through. 00:42:47 Speaker 2: So just watch out. 00:42:49 Speaker 4: We will put outer space sounds behind our voices. 00:42:51 Speaker 2: And we'll play both of our competing noun or Haunted Castle movies next to each other, and then the judge will the side. It'll be Oh, it'll be a contest it's gonna now we're in a movie making contest. 00:43:03 Speaker 5: This is just like the green Light and fuck you, Ben Affleck because we don't care that you thought of it already. 00:43:07 Speaker 2: For a variety of reasons. Wait and now I feel like I've I've gotten a off track of the girl flying above her bed. You were telling me about the well during the people. 00:43:17 Speaker 5: That conjuring story, I mean the other ones. I don't know how many of them were based on true cases the couple did, but that one, and I could be wrong. It could be the Conjuring for we could be saying the Conjuring and it's it's actually a different movie. 00:43:31 Speaker 2: Four other conjuring movies may have been released by the time this podcast comes out straight to video, of course. Conjuring two. Conjuring two, we've seen that in the UK. 00:43:40 Speaker 1: They called it the Conjuring two. The ifields to let. 00:43:44 Speaker 2: People, Oh yes, I love Poltergeist. 00:43:48 Speaker 4: Yeah, that was a good one, and it was like really believable. 00:43:55 Speaker 5: You know, it's like when the whole bureau goes across the bedroom and blocks the door. 00:43:59 Speaker 2: Type of stuff. 00:43:59 Speaker 5: Right, yes, like there they were like this happened, and a bunch of people saw the neighbor came over and saw it. 00:44:05 Speaker 4: It wasn't just us, you. 00:44:06 Speaker 2: Know, I'm now flashing back. We did see this movie together, and I remember thinking they've proved the movie was in the UK by like playing the Clash or something. It was like, Oh, here we are. It's seventies. It's weren't there posters on the wall? I'm sure there was? Like I feel like every teen in a movie has the Clash or Ramones on the wall. Yeah, it's time to move on. I mean, yeah, yeah, we need more, we need more. We've put throw up a Gaga poster on the teens wall. That's probably closer or scenes Love Me drafted. Teens like they like Frank Ocean. No, I like Frank Ocean. What am I talking about? I guess? I guess that's what I've in common with teens. 00:44:45 Speaker 4: They like, what's the high school Musical? 00:44:50 Speaker 2: One? Two, three, four and five? Oh, A haunted high school musical? I think that's a thing, isn't it? Is it? Why? Why am I so confident? I just literally said two things we were talking about and decided it's reality. 00:45:04 Speaker 4: Hated It's Haunted high School Musical? On Bridger A twelve, The Star in the Libra district. 00:45:10 Speaker 2: That's the sort of movie you'll be enjoying on my Star and Haunted Castles. Oh geez. I mean, you know, What's something that bothers me about these exorcist movies or you know, movies where a demon takes over somebody's body. And I've been thinking about this a lot recently. Is the demon is often speaking through the possessed, and they're the demon's decision or what they decide to speak is always just cursing, just saying shit, chit, chit, kill your mom, this sort of thing. What is the Why is the demon not saying something like this is the location of heaven and this is how you take it over? That to me, like if the key possess someone's body, why am I doing? I don't know. 00:45:53 Speaker 5: Maybe maybe it is the thing of like what's the most disturbing thing that you can hear, like this four year old who's now possessed by the demon from the closet And I'm definitely thinking of a specific movie that we have seen together now, remember the one where. 00:46:11 Speaker 4: It was like the little It's like mommy and then. 00:46:13 Speaker 5: There's like weird fingernail markings inside the closet, and it was that it was like a big almost like a fog, like a black fog from out of the closet or something. 00:46:25 Speaker 2: That's Is that another Patrick Wilson horror movie? Yeah, I think he's making two different series, right. He's all over the map these choices. He loves demons, he wants to. 00:46:36 Speaker 4: Fight them, he wants to be the father around them. 00:46:39 Speaker 2: Father of a demon. 00:46:41 Speaker 4: Annabelle, Was it in an Annabelle? 00:46:43 Speaker 2: You may have been? I actually have to say, Annabel May. The conjuring universe is far and wide, and I think annabel falls into that. 00:46:52 Speaker 4: That is the doll. 00:46:53 Speaker 2: This is one of the ones that's like in kind of like a newer home or something that looks kind of like a lossless, cracked home, recently staged home. Realitter stages a home and a demon immediately moves in. 00:47:09 Speaker 4: What a beauty, What a beautiful home. That's not my couch. I don't recognize any of this furniture. Yeah, we staged it. It's not a demon. We staged it. 00:47:18 Speaker 2: Succulents are all fake. 00:47:22 Speaker 5: I watered the succulent and the water went right into the floor. 00:47:25 Speaker 2: Yes, it's not dirt, that's plastic. What are you doing. Oh, I wonder what movie. We've seen a lot of horror movies together. I missed that about precoryn I do too. Just pick a crappy movie and go see it. 00:47:36 Speaker 5: I just was thinking, why can't I because you and I had a really hilarious discussion a while ago about who we saw the Lighthouse with? 00:47:44 Speaker 2: Remember, Oh, that's right. 00:47:46 Speaker 5: You were having a fully realizing of like, no, we saw that together. And then I was like, and I knew we didn't, but you were so sure that then I was like, I think he's right. I think you're remembering this wrong. But I realized because I was trying to think now, I mean, like, who did we see the nun with? 00:48:03 Speaker 2: Try and go through? 00:48:04 Speaker 5: And I think the problem is every time I buy the tickets, I picked the same seats. 00:48:09 Speaker 7: Oh interesting, So you and I are always sitting in j or K Is that true? 00:48:14 Speaker 2: Yeah? Right on the on the aisle. I've never picked up on this. I mean that's what I do. Those those are just your preferred seats. 00:48:21 Speaker 5: I just am always like, let's be on the aisle so we don't have to like, because my big fear is having to slide in front of people with my butt facing the face. Of course, I feel like because I went to a very mean high school where you would get picked on. So I'm like, I'm not putting my butt near people. It's just asking for it. I don't want to, So it's. 00:48:40 Speaker 2: Just, well, the aisle seats better anyway. What if I need to pee or whatever? You run up and then you watch the movie wrong about right? So you've been buying J and K this entire time, and I'm just willy nilly picking seats wherever? Are you really to be a little I mean, I think I probably do still pick ilish seats in the middle of the theater like any human, normal human being. I'm not trying to get front row center, right, I would you feel psychotic? 00:49:05 Speaker 4: Did I ever tell you about the time? And I've done this a bunch where I will do a thing. 00:49:10 Speaker 5: This is pre Koar obviously where it to If I have something at two o'clock and then something at five o'clock, I will go stop by the arc light. If I need to kill time and just see whatever is playing. Right then, Oh have you ever done that? 00:49:26 Speaker 2: I haven't, but I would what a nice way to kill time if you have two hours anyway. 00:49:31 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's because I always would find myself like if there was I had stuff to do in Hollywood, and I lived in the valley, you know, and it's like, so I'm basically between two offices. So it's like we'll just go see a movie for two hours and kill the time. 00:49:45 Speaker 2: It's going to be two hours in the. 00:49:46 Speaker 4: Car, yes, right, and or like I'm not going to go there. 00:49:50 Speaker 2: Run home and sit around for fifteen minutes. 00:49:52 Speaker 5: Yeah, and then the dogs are excited I'm home and I'm like, bye, see you later, suckers. So I would go to a movie, and that's how I was so thrilled when Fox Catcher came out, because I knew the story, oh of course, and I knew it was a serious movie. Every it seems like every other person in the theater thought it was this hilarious Steve Carrell movie. 00:50:12 Speaker 4: Oh no, so they didn't fucking know what was going on. 00:50:16 Speaker 2: Do people do no research? The decision making of other people is mind boggling. 00:50:21 Speaker 5: It's insane where it's like you just saw the name in ran like what are you doing? But so I showed up and bought my ticket and didn't realize that I had bought. So I was like, I'll just sneak in and watch this movie real quick and go right when I got there, it turned out that I bought myself this single. Basically, it's a it's a it's an accessibility seat so that it's it's easy to get to. 00:50:47 Speaker 2: So it's like, right when you. 00:50:47 Speaker 4: Come around that ramp up, Oh sure, it's that first seat that's like basically bottom row. 00:50:53 Speaker 2: First seat. 00:50:54 Speaker 4: Yeah, and but it is separate from the row. 00:50:58 Speaker 2: It's just like its own little throne. 00:50:59 Speaker 5: It's but it's basically you're here at the movies by yourself. 00:51:04 Speaker 2: So there's no chance someone's coming. 00:51:06 Speaker 4: It was like that thing where it's like I'm going to go to the movies by myself. 00:51:10 Speaker 2: I'm free and. 00:51:12 Speaker 5: Have a career and am a woman, you know what I mean, Like that whole concept in my head. And then I go and I'm thinking I'm just gonna be able to sneak in in the dark and sit down or whatever. 00:51:22 Speaker 4: I go in and am like on this. 00:51:24 Speaker 5: Seat separate from everyone in the room, and people are walking by me looking down of. 00:51:30 Speaker 2: Like, oh, she's here alone. It was horrifying. I am here and I have no one. Yes, So I. 00:51:36 Speaker 5: Think that's why I'm always making sure i'm up the road. Of course, in the you know, up in the ms from K to you know P kind of. 00:51:45 Speaker 2: Petty, right, but I mean unwittingly. You may have been experiencing the future there the post Quarantine movie theater experience. 00:51:53 Speaker 4: Oh, then I don't I'm not gonna like it. 00:51:55 Speaker 2: I know that doesn't sound great. 00:51:56 Speaker 4: It's not fun. 00:51:57 Speaker 2: I need to be sitting next to I need to be able to lean over and complain about the movie or whatever. 00:52:02 Speaker 4: Yeah, you and I I think some of the funniest things I've ever heard is stuff you've said under your breath during a movie. 00:52:09 Speaker 2: Oh, going to the movie with you is just a different experience, your joy. Yes, we line up our you know. I just feel like we have a similar feeling about every movie we see and we're able to just chat through it. I also, can we talk about the Midsummer experience? Yes, I would. 00:52:28 Speaker 5: Say with going to the movies with you in the beginning, because you are a quieter person, so I'm always like, don't try to make a bunch of jokes. 00:52:35 Speaker 4: He's trying to enjoy this movie. 00:52:37 Speaker 5: Like, I never want to jump in with my hilarious riffs immediately because I always think, what if he likes the movie, then you're gonna like to appreciate that. 00:52:45 Speaker 2: So I wait for the vibe. Oh, of course, I think that's a I mean, that's smart, yes. 00:52:50 Speaker 4: That we both know, like a fourth dumb thing will happen. 00:52:54 Speaker 2: And then I'm like, yeah, it's like okay, clear, Yeah, they were free to just shit all over this movie. 00:53:00 Speaker 5: But it's that first comment that one of us will say to the other one that is always the greatest. 00:53:06 Speaker 2: Oh, we know, Damn's break has broken and yeah, and then of course the trailers are free for all. I feel like you can just talk at regular level during trailers. I think everyone should just be expressing their opinion at that point totally for sure, because we're being dragged through those anyway. 00:53:22 Speaker 4: But Midsommar was different. 00:53:24 Speaker 2: You know, this was an interesting experience. This is what will like, We'll just live with me until I died. This memory is one of the best movie going experiences I've ever had. Do you want to explain it or should I We went to see the movie Midsommer, which is, you know, it's a horror movie, but a very artistic How would you even. I mean it's a very. 00:53:47 Speaker 4: It's paste out sober, yeah. 00:53:50 Speaker 2: Yes, just issues serious movie, yeah, but also has some insane things that happen and some you know, various orgies people like being their heads being smashed like watermelons. Yeah. But you we got to the theater and you realized you didn't have your glasses with you. Yeah, and so we went in, went in and watched, but you had your prescription sunglasses, that's right. And so we were watching the movie, and there are parts of this very visual movie you want to be able to see, and also just insane things that you're like, what is happening on the screen going on? And so while watching, for example, during the Grandma leading the orgy scene, you're putting on a pair of sunglasses. 00:54:33 Speaker 5: I had to keep my sunglasses on my head like I was on a cruise and then when stuff and that was embarrassing too, because it would indicate what I was very interested in. 00:54:44 Speaker 2: Yes, so it was. 00:54:46 Speaker 5: Right when the Grandma orgy scene started and I turned and looked at Bridger and then put my sunglasses down. 00:54:51 Speaker 2: Like, oh yeah, suddenly I'm sitting next to Joe cool, and this guy is like having sex with a bear or something. Oh oh, I loved it so much. It's just such a warm, wonderful pre quarantine memory for me. 00:55:06 Speaker 4: But I didn't want too. 00:55:07 Speaker 5: It was like, that's a perfect example of there's some people that like, if I was into that movie, I don't want bits O'Hara overall here like ruining the sunglasses, Jones, ruining the movie. 00:55:20 Speaker 2: But this is an example of something that only enhanced, only enhanced it. 00:55:24 Speaker 4: For me for letting me off that. 00:55:26 Speaker 2: It also, Yeah, it was just kind of like a little alarm. Oh yeah, this is an interesting part of the movie. It was just like indicating this is good, this is interesting. 00:55:35 Speaker 5: Also that build to the point where he had sex with a very old lady and then just a kind. 00:55:42 Speaker 2: Of that weird lady. 00:55:43 Speaker 5: Yes they I think this sex started with them and he could like couldn't help himself or whatever. Right, So the build was slow where it was like I've given Bridger the time to absorb the the filmic artistic experience of this unnerving, bizarre situation. 00:56:00 Speaker 4: We know what's going on. I'm not really interrupting it. It's actually going on a little too long from my taste. 00:56:05 Speaker 2: I mean, that's kind of how that movie operated. 00:56:08 Speaker 4: So it's like, it's sunglasses. 00:56:12 Speaker 2: That should be the subtitle of that movie Midsummer It's sunglasses sunglasses. 00:56:17 Speaker 8: Jime. 00:56:18 Speaker 2: Oh, well, you know, I feel like we're rounding the corner here to game time. We're gonna play a game I love, is it Yati. We're gonna play three full rounds of Yatzi. And I want you to be quiet. We're not gonna say anything. It's just gonna be dice rolling and like the scratching of pencil on paper and me. Oh, there will be me asking you how the game works. Every few minutes, a run of three or four, I'll call Sam and ask for tips. Best of two. No, we're gonna play. I think we're gonna play Gift Master. Let me get my laptop here, okay, okay, so for Gift Master. Oh, I've got my mic. Sit down here. For Gift Master, I'm gonna give you three celebrities and three potential gifts. Okay, you're gonna tell me which gift you would give to which celebrity. Okay, But I need I need a number from you so I can calculate. How about the number eight? Number eight is perfect? Going to calculate this while this is happening, you can promote or recommend anything you want. You have an undetermined amount of time take the mic. 00:57:24 Speaker 5: I don't know how many people use Yahoo email anymore, because I know the cool kids use Gmail, but I would recommend Yahoo email. There's a lot of great email handles that are available on there. Because it's only me and your great uncles that are using it, they don't really have a great spam filter, but I think that keeps things open because then you get who you can interact with. With Nigerian princes, you can people from camp that you haven't talked to in forty two years can reach you. 00:58:02 Speaker 4: There's all kinds of you're more open. 00:58:04 Speaker 5: Like everybody thinks it's great to be protected on your email and no one can find out, but actually it's a great way to open yourself up to humanity, I think in general, and also to like Zappo's when they're having a thirty percent off sale, they'll get right into your inbox immediately. So yeah, don't don't rule out Yahoo email. 00:58:29 Speaker 2: Karen, what an excellent recommendations integration. Yes, we each just got cut a two hundred thousand dollars check from that and it's going to shut down Yahoo. That's the last of their money. Here we go, We've got the game. Okay, I'm going to tell you the gifts you're going to be giving. Okay, the gifts I've calculated are a thousand dollars Old Navy gift card, nice, a tapeworm, and the final gift is bangs, so that you know the hairstyle bangs. Yes, now you're going to be giving these two. Let's see Drew Lache, who is the brother of Nick Lache, lesser known brother of Nick Lache. 00:59:14 Speaker 4: I definitely know Nick Lache. 00:59:15 Speaker 2: Imagine Nickliche and then stop imagining. I think they look basically the same. And sorry, is Drew Lache from something? I think they were in the same I think they were ninety eight degrees together the boy band, and there was a third person I'm not I don't know who that was. 00:59:30 Speaker 4: That was in the era where I was blackout, drunk in a gutter. 00:59:35 Speaker 2: Or probably first you know, missing ninety eight degrees was probably your best move. Okay, So Drew Lache, Okay, the unibomber ooh, Ted Kaczynski yep. And finally Jojo Siwah Jojo. 00:59:53 Speaker 4: Well, I think this might be easier. Tell me why easier than you think? 00:59:59 Speaker 5: Okay, I will, Well, first of all, I can't give the unibomber banks. 01:00:02 Speaker 2: He's already got them. He already. Yeah, he's got prison banks. 01:00:06 Speaker 4: He's like the Tiger King. 01:00:09 Speaker 5: Yes, he's got a terrible haircut, doesn't need bangs, and he's you know, arguably the most of these three done a lot of damage to humanity, right, arguably. 01:00:22 Speaker 2: So we'll give the. 01:00:23 Speaker 5: Unibomber the tapeworm because he doesn't like modern society. 01:00:29 Speaker 2: So that old Navy gift card crowd and he's not he's just going to sit there looking at it, thinking about polos that he could buy. 01:00:36 Speaker 5: Yeah, he's going to get the same pair of cargo pants. 01:00:38 Speaker 2: Oh how many pair of cargo pants are you're going to get? That's you don't need that, maybe a thousand pairs. 01:00:43 Speaker 5: Also, you're in jail, you don't need anything, right, So tapeworm for you. 01:00:47 Speaker 2: Although I will say with the UNI bomber, imagine getting a piece of mail from the unibomber ted Kazinski. You open it up. It's not a bomb. It's a regifted thousand dollars gift card to old Navy. 01:00:59 Speaker 5: It's five hundred down vests that are poorly made by children who weren't paid enough. 01:01:06 Speaker 4: Wonderful, So let's do. 01:01:10 Speaker 5: If anyone needs bangs, it's Jojo Sue. Her ponytail gives me a headache every time I see her. 01:01:17 Speaker 2: It is going to pull her face off of her skull. It is too tight. It's crazy, and I think she smokes my voice. You should hear Jim does an impression of Jojo siwah that leaves me on the floor. It is incredible. It's I won't even try to imitate it because it's so perfect. She must smoke. And she's what eight years old? 01:01:42 Speaker 5: Yes, she's very young. I have a story to tell you that's very much inside baseball. But this is I don't know if you remember this. This last summer one hundred years ago, in July, I was in Hawaii, Okay with my family on this family trip. We go to Hawaii every year, and it was fun and this big trip. So we went to a tiki bar one night, and every once in a while I will have a drink with but only if my sister and Adrian are there. It's like my sister will give me permission that I can have like a my tie and then they both basically clock me. And then usually halfway through that my tie, I like, we have to get more, and they're like, take it, be easy, and then I go to bed and have a terrible hangouf of course, And that's usually the way I quote unquote party when we're on vacation. I only will do it like on vacation with my sister and Adrian. Yes, just for anybody that's like concerned about that, because it's I stopped drinking when I was twenty seven, and I actually it doesn't do anything for me anymore except in the first half hour I have the best time, and then it. 01:02:49 Speaker 2: Goes very much off the rails. 01:02:52 Speaker 5: So this past summer, we were in Hawaii, I drank my tie that was insanely strong. I went home and then when I woke up, I had tweeted a video of Jojo Siwah and her and her choreographer dancing, and I wrote something like yeah in your face there or something something so insane. 01:03:14 Speaker 2: That was like I looked at it. 01:03:16 Speaker 5: I was like, I don't know where this came from, and it was it was like I went to bed buzzed in a way that I'm not Like for a normal person, it would have been like, oh, I had a my tie, I'm this drunk. I was like twelve pack drunk, basically in bed looking at Twitter, and I retweeted this Jojo clip that was basically saying she can dance and she's really talented. Fuck all of you that but nonsense. 01:03:43 Speaker 2: Come like a true believer, Jojo Sewa. I actually think I may have. 01:03:48 Speaker 4: It may have not even been before bed. It may have been in the middle of the night, like three. 01:03:53 Speaker 2: Ams, woke up and like, what's Jojo up to? 01:03:55 Speaker 5: Woke up and did that weird thing that's I do. Sometimes very dangerous with Twitter, where you wake up so you immediately check Twitter and see what's going on. And I was off, you know whatever, ate out however far ahead or behind Hawaii. 01:04:10 Speaker 2: Yes, so in for me it was the middle of the night. 01:04:12 Speaker 4: Everybody else it was like two o'clock in the afternoon and here I come. Fuck all y'all check this out for Joe Jesse. 01:04:21 Speaker 2: What sort of response did you get to that where people like, literally people going, are you okay? 01:04:27 Speaker 5: And the answer was like kind of no, actually technically no, But I wasn't honest about it at the time because I didn't want people to think that that was something that was actually happening, right real I didn't want anyone to be actually concerned. 01:04:40 Speaker 2: But I feel like enough time has. 01:04:41 Speaker 5: Passed now where it's I haven't friend become an alcoholic again to prove that that was okay, where I can tell the real story. But I never knew who she was. 01:04:50 Speaker 2: I don't know how I still does she I feel like she exists to make stickers or something like she like there's a very sticker vibe I'm getting from all of this, And that's all I can say. 01:05:00 Speaker 5: I think she was like a YouTuber type of person in the way that adults of today don't understand these people. They pop up right and there is It's not like you go, oh yeah, she was on that show and then she did this, and she did that that The track is totally different. 01:05:17 Speaker 2: She was on YouTube and then I mean, I don't know, but she also she could be truly nine years old or fifty five, as I do not understand age wise what's happening here. 01:05:28 Speaker 4: She also has the veneer of like she's been doing vaudeville for thirty years, like and you can see it. In this video, it's like she's dancing like crazy, but her the whole time she's holding this face, this performance face of an we having the best old time, and it's like, what is wrong? 01:05:46 Speaker 2: You can see her eyes just drying out. 01:05:48 Speaker 5: Yes, but she's not drinking, and the bangs are the lack of bangs and the tautiness of ponytail. But I also think that this little girl takes tons of shit just for being this. 01:06:02 Speaker 4: Kind of like I like things and I don't want to be that. 01:06:06 Speaker 2: Person, of course. No, I just want her to loosen that ponytail attack. Well, there was recently this video of her. I don't know if you saw her transformation. No, she's like, takes off the jojo and it looks like a fully different person. No, she must be ready to break the chains or something. I feel like mom has been putting her in front of you Tube and all of this, and I think that there's gonna be or maybe now the manager's like, okay, now let's turn you into an adult. You're forty five. 01:06:32 Speaker 5: She's on the Hannah Montana Miley Cyrus track where she's about to get naked and swing on a wrecking ball. 01:06:40 Speaker 4: I love it. 01:06:40 Speaker 2: I love I love Miley Cyrus. We love Miley. 01:06:43 Speaker 4: So Jojo gets those bangs, and she needs Jojo. 01:06:46 Speaker 2: Get the bangs. It's time and it looks like you're on the track already. Yeah. 01:06:49 Speaker 5: And then so the two things I care the least about, which is Drew Leche and the one thousand dollars old neighbor gift card. 01:06:56 Speaker 2: Clearly that lines up so well. They're a match. I feel like he's in cargo shorts already. Ninety eight degrees was a cargo short band if there ever was was? Is that true? Not a band? A boy I guess boy band is a group boy group boy group boy band I guess as well. Working they call them bands, but there was never the band element. And yeah, the Nick kind of married Jessica and took off and Drew was left needing the gift card. 01:07:25 Speaker 5: Wait, I know who that guy is. I just had a flash of his face in my head. 01:07:30 Speaker 2: What do you I mean? I just I literally just picture Nick. 01:07:33 Speaker 5: Cliche, but like lighter colored hair maybe and maybe like just a tad off of if Nick Liche is some eighth grade girl's dream look of that's so attractive. 01:07:48 Speaker 2: Or boy or boy or teacher or teacher. He is absolutely the eighth grade teacher's ideal. 01:07:57 Speaker 4: Man, where he has kind of like he's kind. 01:07:59 Speaker 5: Of bilt, so he has like a well developed chest. He looks like he you know, does CrossFit, whereas Drew is a little more of the like, Eh. 01:08:12 Speaker 4: It's okay, yes, you let Nick take the lead. 01:08:15 Speaker 2: He can stand in front. 01:08:16 Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm over here. I can harmonize other than that. I'm good. 01:08:20 Speaker 2: My name's Drew. It's me Drew. 01:08:22 Speaker 5: I'm reasonable, I can drink a beer. I'm going to become an accountant and manage Nicks millions. 01:08:28 Speaker 2: You have to wonder what Drew's up to. I mean, don't most of us aren't. 01:08:33 Speaker 5: He's you know, what he's doing shopping at old navvies day after day going oh my god. Because also, how long would it take to spend one thousand dollars at an old Navy. 01:08:43 Speaker 2: That would be a lot of clothes. You know, I think a T shirt's about six dollars there. It's so cheap. I mean, I will I will get Old Navy for this every time. Their men's shirts are truly what's happening with the shape of the shirts of this place? Are they crazy? 01:08:58 Speaker 5: Narrow? 01:08:59 Speaker 2: They're crazy are they crazy short? So it's like that's a woman's blouse. They're selling a lot of blouses to men, and I'm finally exposing them. They're like blouses with like artificial football jerseys printed on the front. 01:09:15 Speaker 4: Oh that's why I'm not authentic. 01:09:17 Speaker 2: Football not authentic, And everyone knows I'm an authentic football guy. 01:09:22 Speaker 5: It's got to be authentic for Bridge, get lost, get out of your fake football team. 01:09:27 Speaker 2: But yeah, I think you could make a You could get a few wardrobes happening at Old maybe with a thousand. 01:09:32 Speaker 4: Dollars, I mean easily. 01:09:34 Speaker 5: I went in there recently because I had I was on the way to a meeting where I wanted very badly to look good and was in a place in my life where I was like, it's not going to go well, and so I kind of was like, I'll just put on this as my meeting outfit. And then I stopped off at the mall to get something else, and then I was like, I cannot be wearing these pants. 01:09:58 Speaker 2: It's just a disgrace. 01:10:00 Speaker 5: So I did go into Old Navy, and there were things there I would love to see, like how the design team presents their ideas because there was a blouse that I was like, I might as well try it on, and it was like this crisscross design. I looked like a pregnant chef that was in the army. Like the color, the shape, the direction. Whoever sewed it, who clearly just was not was going blind. Like everything about this was like, get out of this area. Nothing is going to help you in this store. 01:10:37 Speaker 2: Karen. It's yeah. I feel like they're doing a disservice to everyone. Yeah. I mean there was a point in my life when I would go to Old Navy. They're part of the Gap Empire, and they would do these clearances where you could get a shirt for like forty nine cents. Yes, but truly the clothes and I think the men's departments even worse than the women's. I think they're like, well, I guess we have to have men's clothes, so something together. 01:11:01 Speaker 5: Take that tent, get that sleeping bag and then get it, make it a crop top and see what they say. 01:11:06 Speaker 2: See if they'll buy it. God blessed Old Navy. Amen, we're at the final part of the podcast. We've got to help some people. This is called I said no questions. Yeah, I've got We've been getting a truly, you know, we recorded these first sixteen episodes and there's been a lot. I have now twenty six pages of questions, so everyone, I don't know if I'm going to be able to help everybody, but we're gonna try. 01:11:30 Speaker 5: Please don't write in with anything like I just cut my hand. 01:11:32 Speaker 2: What should I do? Because they that will be a while. And if you can slow the bleeding and you don't have any other choice, sure, but maybe contact emergency services. I'm not your man for that. 01:11:43 Speaker 4: Right into a different podcast with a quicker term. 01:11:46 Speaker 2: Yeah, nine cast. Oh, that seems like a good you should develop it. Yeah, the operators, Yes, let's get the operators on the line. Well, we're gonna help one or two people decide on a gift. 01:11:59 Speaker 5: Here. 01:12:00 Speaker 2: Let me read a question. Bridger and guest Karen, that's you, that's me. We're in your home. Bridger. My husband is terrible at giving gifts, or no at being given gifts. He wears pants for many weeks and socks are his go to. He loves big saws and heavy equipment. Give me anything to get him. Love you, Oh, she's saying love you. So this is encouraging. Great. This is from Emma in Scotland. We've got an international audience. Congression has gone across the ocean. Karen, this is incredible. How do we help Emma get this husband who's terrible at getting gifts. He loves big saws and heavy equipment. I'm just going to say, first off, cement mixer. 01:12:46 Speaker 4: I was gonna say, first off, Yatzi game easy. 01:12:49 Speaker 2: Everybody likes the closet. Then you've got a game. 01:12:52 Speaker 7: It's heavy equipment of games and if you're very weak, the dice are heavy. 01:12:58 Speaker 5: They're very heavy if you have iron or blood. God, that's such a good specific because men are difficult to buy for right because with these you know, if they don't come forward with this kind of like we've been giving my dad golf gifts for thirty years. 01:13:16 Speaker 2: And like to what end? I mean, I could say golf clubs. What else are you getting? Hats? 01:13:21 Speaker 4: Yeah, like things that have golf things on. 01:13:24 Speaker 7: Them, like a golf mug, golf golf mug, golf coasters, little teas that have his name on them, things like that where I'm sure he doesn't even like golf that much, but it's I feel like men are. 01:13:37 Speaker 5: You're mysterious as a group. You're not you. You don't be shopping all the time. 01:13:43 Speaker 2: You don't be shopping at all. 01:13:44 Speaker 5: It's hard to pick these things. How about this because it is hard to get Like, I'm not going to be able to recommend heavy equipment. 01:13:53 Speaker 4: It's not my background. 01:13:54 Speaker 2: Well, but I run an industrial warehouse when we sell this equipment, so I'll get I'll get back to. 01:14:00 Speaker 5: Make you will be the final answer. I'll just be tertiary concepts. 01:14:05 Speaker 2: Okay. I love it because. 01:14:07 Speaker 5: I then this is sincere I recently and also if you're in Scotland, I bet you there's great things to look at. I recently bought myself high powered binoculars. 01:14:19 Speaker 2: Oh, they were reasonably priced. Okay. 01:14:22 Speaker 5: I think the ones I bought were made by Nikon, so they're very well made. 01:14:27 Speaker 2: They're into optical equipment. We know the Nikon name. 01:14:31 Speaker 5: We know the Nikon people. You know the Nikons the. 01:14:36 Speaker 2: Weekend. 01:14:37 Speaker 5: Oh, Mary Jane Nikon is one of my favorite people to talk to. 01:14:43 Speaker 4: High powered binoculars are so fun. I have taken to spying on my neighbor. It's true and it's so exciting because nothing actually has to happen. 01:14:55 Speaker 5: And when you finally spot someone like I watched a guy throw a ball for a dog the other day and it was as if I was watching an assassination, Like it was fascinating and my heart was racing. 01:15:07 Speaker 2: Well, in this time of social distancing, yes we're missing out on people watching. 01:15:12 Speaker 5: Yes, you don't get I mean I rarely see people right. And also that's a suggestion that would be it's a technical male gift. 01:15:21 Speaker 2: I love this idea. 01:15:22 Speaker 5: But then also you know, it's a little bit of a permission to be a creep and a perve a little bit. 01:15:28 Speaker 2: I think that's fantastic and it reminds me of a gift that I don't know if I can mention, then well, we can cut this out if needed. But I once had to go by a night vision scope for David Letterman. Oh, like I was if I was interning, and my boss has said, go get this night vision scope at like the one outdoor shop in Manhattan. Yeah, I'm not qualified to do that, but I did it. And apparently now he owns a night vision scope. So maybe that's another thing. 01:15:57 Speaker 4: That's a great one. 01:15:58 Speaker 2: So that's something we have to cut from the podcast. 01:16:00 Speaker 4: I don't know I don't think so. No, what can he do anymore? Doesn't care? First of all, Dave don't care. Secondly, he doesn't have juice anymore. He has a been on the air for ten years. 01:16:10 Speaker 2: That come at it, come at me, Dave. I by, I had to go out and buy your birthday present he sent. I also bought a card that I got in trouble. My bosses didn't like the card and it was very tasteful. I had a lot of pressure buying Dave Letterman a birthday card. Nightmare. Oh my god. 01:16:27 Speaker 4: Now, sure ways that can go wrong. 01:16:29 Speaker 2: Yes, I just bought one that said happy Birthday, which I think is the go to. 01:16:32 Speaker 4: It's pretty standard. 01:16:33 Speaker 2: I got in trouble for not being funny. Oh fuck that. You don't buy Dave Letterman a funny gift card. Oh he'll rip you to show that's embarrassed. Ever watched the David Letterman pre one that says Happy Birthday. He doesn't even want them birthday car. 01:16:47 Speaker 5: He doesn't want any of it. He doesn't He would take you know it. He would be given that gift. Say thank you to whoever standing in front of him. Door closes, takes it out the window. He throws the night sko fishing out the window. He fucking lights the card from the bottom and drops it into an empty garbage can. 01:17:03 Speaker 2: This is incredibly cathartic. I haven't spoken about this public clip. 01:17:07 Speaker 4: I'm so glad you feel like you can tell me. 01:17:09 Speaker 2: I don't know, eleven years since I bought Dave Fletermann a night vision scope. I'm sorry, But back to the binoculars. That's a great thing, or the night vision scope or both. They make night visions binoculars. 01:17:21 Speaker 4: It's the only time you want to look at anything. 01:17:22 Speaker 2: And that really feels like we're getting into some dicey territory at looking at people. 01:17:26 Speaker 5: So then I would say to go along with this if you feel like you want the gift, like the box to be open and it's a whole thing, right, it's night it's high powered binoculars. And the high power part I really underline because there they make cheap binoculars. You're not gonna be able to see anybody doing really private things on that. No, no, no, So let's get the price up there a little bit. 01:17:47 Speaker 2: I'm a don't be cheap. 01:17:49 Speaker 4: Then you put the scope on there, then you get some of that that stuff you put around your eyes. 01:17:54 Speaker 2: Oh the uh, like it's a grease paint. 01:17:57 Speaker 4: Yes, so that you can and maybe a camo hack, camo hoods, maybe a camel mask of ballaclava. 01:18:06 Speaker 5: So you can hide in the bushes. Clava, we should all wear them. Right now, we should make turn this person. 01:18:15 Speaker 4: If he likes heavy equipment, why not let him dress up like a terrorist. That's my question, like. 01:18:21 Speaker 2: Some sort of burger or are he's doing reconnaissance? What's the word? 01:18:24 Speaker 7: Yes, reconnaissance. I've said that, recon You haven't said it since the beginning of the since I was doing recon myself for David Letterman. And I feel like you're in Scotland. I'm picturing somebody peering into a castle. Yes, using those binoculars. Suddenly there's like a bansheet flying around. Yes, Oh I love it. 01:18:43 Speaker 5: Or it could be sorry, that's so loud. It could also be that you're watching sheep grays, right, But then you spot the shepherd and that's when you really start to focus in those. 01:18:58 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're getting thenox, what's the shepherd up too? Right? And because he lives a life. 01:19:03 Speaker 4: The assumption is going to be masturbating, of course, and. 01:19:07 Speaker 5: That's what I thought the first time I spotted somebody through my prodocle that I was like, here we go, I've spotted someone. 01:19:13 Speaker 4: And then of course the person didn't. Now do your job, but he did nothing except for throw a ball for a dog. 01:19:20 Speaker 5: And then then I was like, oh, he's not the creep. I'm the I'm the creep. 01:19:25 Speaker 2: But that's you know, the person that that end of the binocular When you're at that end of the binoculars, you're usually the creep or your rear window. Yes, what's his name, Jimmy Stewart, Jimmy Stewart. That's right, Jimmy Stewart. I didn't even mean to do that. Well, I think that that's great, you know. Or a cement mixer. I mean you're throwing out cement mixer again. 01:19:47 Speaker 4: The thing with cement, though, you know, you can't just mix it up. You have to like mix and poor, immediately. 01:19:53 Speaker 2: Mix and poor. Oh you can't just have it mixing there. 01:19:56 Speaker 4: No, because it'll go you can mess that cement extra up. Oh. 01:20:00 Speaker 5: Also, what about if we're going to go down this heavy equipment line, Uh, the thing that you put a tree branch into in an immediately just. 01:20:10 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, end of Fargo sort of thing where you can put a body through wood chipper. Yeah, fucking woodchipper. We had one of those as a kid. My dad would rent one and we would go around the neighborhood gathering Christmas trees that have been thrown out and run it through to create mulch. And I it was absolutely hell for me post Christmas is going around the neighborhood collecting Christmas trees to multch is manual labor, real rough memory. That's but was it not satisfying at any point? 01:20:43 Speaker 1: No? 01:20:43 Speaker 2: I mean it would be. I think it would be if it were a hobby. 01:20:46 Speaker 7: But when it's your job tree collection and you just want to play with that, I want. 01:20:52 Speaker 2: To be playing Nintendo, right, I just got a Nintendo. Why am I not sitting in the basement. My fingers are freezing and I'm now getting wet with like wood chips? Was it just you and your dad? My brother? My brother is probably interesting brother's plural brother's pearl. I thought there was just one brother, Andrew. There's Jesse. Oh yeah, I think Jesse is the only one that listens to this podcast. Hi, Jesse. Jesse bought a T shirt. Oh, god bless, that's awesome, sweetheart. I should buy tea. I know you shouldn't. You have great merch, good merch. I love the merch. Good merch. That's a good gift. Put that on a cement mixer. 01:21:25 Speaker 4: Yeah. 01:21:25 Speaker 5: How about a T shirt that says I said no gifts and then it's basically you saying I didn't think you wanted anything. 01:21:31 Speaker 2: Yeah, that becomes a real just like the person is deeply confused opening the box and they're like. 01:21:36 Speaker 4: They put it on, They're like, but I didn't feel. 01:21:39 Speaker 2: Like I'm being blamed for something I didn't do. You've pulled me into some dark So that's something you should get them if you want to like start a fight on Christmas. 01:21:47 Speaker 5: Morning, which hey, that's you've got a twelve hour day ahead of you. 01:21:51 Speaker 2: You've got to feel the time somehow. 01:21:52 Speaker 4: Yes, at least one fight should be on the docket, please. 01:21:56 Speaker 2: I think we've answered enough questions for today. You know, I've got twenty six ages. We could do this, I promise everyone. I'm going to try to get around to it. But we've dug into this one in a beautiful way. 01:22:08 Speaker 4: I feel like there's been definitely many options. 01:22:10 Speaker 2: Right if you can't find something there, Emma, then your husband is impossible. 01:22:14 Speaker 5: And yeah, how about a gift certificate for some therapy we'll get I'm a star? 01:22:20 Speaker 2: Oh always, Yeah, everybody get a star. 01:22:23 Speaker 5: Just don't tell him the part that I told Bridger because I'm really legit. 01:22:28 Speaker 2: I don't know why I did that. I immediately ruined the gift for you. I'm so sorry. No, I like that I kind of illegally own a star. Yes, I don't want to have the proper authorities in charge of this. I'm I want that thing to be through a bad website. 01:22:41 Speaker 5: Yeah, this is a kind of if Bernie Bernie made off sold star. 01:22:44 Speaker 2: That's what I. 01:22:45 Speaker 8: Got, you, fake, Karen. I've been in your home long enough. I've loved it, so i've been. It's been such a wonderful thing. I am so thankful to have you on the podcast and now own a star. 01:22:58 Speaker 4: I'm just sad that I can't use it against you anymore that I haven't been a guest yet, because that was really a fun thing to kind of throw in your face, and now it's happened. 01:23:06 Speaker 2: Well, the truth was, my plan was to have you as the tenth guest. What does that mean I wanted, you know, I thought, Karen, what a great tenth guest. We get bline. I'm not kidding. I thought we'd get the ball rolling. I get. It's like, you know, you basically, if the podcast is a house, you bought me the house. I wanted to make sure it was clean and ready to go before you showed up. But then quarantine happened. I was like, well, we've got sixteen recorded, We'll just play through. 01:23:30 Speaker 5: I got to tell you, though, Bridger, from the moment, this was one of the most satisfying development processes I've ever been involved in, because I basically said to Bridger, do you have any ideas for a podcast? And then you said I do, and then told me this one. We both laughed our asses off, and from then it was a dream come true. You're the ideal person to work with. You did all your you'd done everything perfectly into a tea and everything was ready, and you know, you pre recorded all these things, you booked all the people. You've been so conscientious, and it's such a wonderful podcast. I love to listen to it, and so does fucking Oprah. So like, kudos to you were delivering. 01:24:15 Speaker 2: It veryday You've made it very easy. 01:24:17 Speaker 4: I love that we get to work together. 01:24:19 Speaker 2: And now I own a star and we're working together, so and we're all starves. We're all stars. Well, everyone, you know, stay safe out there. Karen and I have been very safe here officially, yes, where we've been very We've all got to be careful. Don't be a dummy. Let's avoid spreading the horrible demon that's going around, and please go out and have a nice time though, enjoy yourself, listen to some nice music. 01:24:45 Speaker 5: If you have one safe friend that you know is as highly conscientious as you and constantly obsessively washing their hands and groceries and avoiding people and avoiding people and never being close, then you can have a nice visit, right, which is my visiting friend. 01:25:02 Speaker 2: You've got to have a visiting friend to just prove reality is still out there, so true, and hopefully we'll kind of get out of this at some point we will for sure. Whatever, Well, God bless, and again I'm saying God bless. I started saying this on other episodes, and then I thought people are going to think I'm a just maniac. 01:25:21 Speaker 4: No, I like it as a button. 01:25:24 Speaker 2: Take care. I said, no gifts isn't exactly right production. It's engineered by Earth Angel Stephen Ray Morris. The theme song is by Miracle Worker Amy Mann. You can follow the show on Instagram and Twitter. At I Said No gifts, and if you have a question or need help getting a gift for someone in your life, email me at I Said No Gifts at gmail dot com. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you found me, and why not leave a review while you're at it? Did you hear. 01:25:59 Speaker 1: Fun? I made myself perfectly clear, But you're I guess to my home? You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no, guess, your own presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me?