Speaker 1: So I want to talk about my book Businesses Personal. Uh,
Speaker 1: it just launched. I have written multiple books. It's my
Speaker 1: ten book. Five have been New York Times bestsellers. And
Speaker 1: from the very beginning, the only reason I've ever written
Speaker 1: books is because it's something I've wanted to say. If
Speaker 1: it was about your relationship with food that I called
Speaker 1: that a bad relationship food noise and a good relationship
Speaker 1: food voice. If it was about just kind of my
Speaker 1: first round of success, A Place of Yes was a
Speaker 1: really good book for people who were just at that
Speaker 1: cross road. So many girls in particular have come up
Speaker 1: to me and saying when they were at a cross roads,
Speaker 1: that book at them through so much. So, Uh, this
Speaker 1: is a book that came out of me because I've
Speaker 1: never really talked about business, and I haven't talked about
Speaker 1: my non traditional path to business and the crazy mistakes
Speaker 1: I've made and the unpopular choices I've made and just
Speaker 1: inside baseball things that I've gone through. Not because you
Speaker 1: are going to have those same experiences, because you are
Speaker 1: your own brand of non traditional business person, whether that's
Speaker 1: at your office or uh you have an idea, or
Speaker 1: because of this crazy time now when the world has
Speaker 1: changed astronomically and people have It's just been shaken up.
Speaker 1: And whether people wanted to jump or not, they have
Speaker 1: to jump now. Whether people had that idea that they
Speaker 1: want to execute, now the door has been closed behind
Speaker 1: them and they have to do it. So it's an
Speaker 1: interesting time. And I'm just I did not plan that.
Speaker 1: I don't believe that. I don't remember when I got
Speaker 1: the book deal, but I certainly don't know if I was.
Speaker 1: I think I actually was wise enough to think about it.
Speaker 1: I think I thought about the shock to the system.
Speaker 1: This pandemic or in Ukraine is a shock to the system.
Speaker 1: It's just everything is weird and strange. Is a new normal.
Speaker 1: And I'm not a traditional entrepreneur, luckily for the people
Speaker 1: that I connect with. I did not go to business school.
Speaker 1: I never thought I would be an entrepreneur. I didn't
Speaker 1: even know what that word meant. I didn't have any
Speaker 1: level of success by anyone's measure until I was in
Speaker 1: my late thirties, and I don't even I wasn't successful
Speaker 1: in relationships. I didn't have a child, I didn't have
Speaker 1: any money, like I wasn't successful by any metric except
Speaker 1: for that. I was like funny and like to laugh,
Speaker 1: which is a metric. But I mean I didn't even
Speaker 1: have a good closet, Like I don't even mean close
Speaker 1: in it. I had like a disorganized closet that my
Speaker 1: dream was just to have organizers in my closet and
Speaker 1: just like have look normal. I mean I really was
Speaker 1: thirty eight when I peeked, so I was a late bloomer.
Speaker 1: So anybody. Gail King put it best. She said, this
Speaker 1: is a book for somebody who wants to start a business,
Speaker 1: wants to get a business, wants to be in business,
Speaker 1: wants to get a head in business. Um, so this
Speaker 1: is a tool. Kid. So when you are faced with something,
Speaker 1: you might say, okay, Bethany said it, you've got to
Speaker 1: be in it to win it. What does that mean?
Speaker 1: It means something different for everybody. But what it means
Speaker 1: is talk is cheap. You're talking about it. You need
Speaker 1: the perfect business plan. You've got to do that. Once
Speaker 1: this happens, once that happens, once the other thing happens,
Speaker 1: you know, then you'll do it. You have to be
Speaker 1: in it to win it. It doesn't mean I'm telling
Speaker 1: people to leave their job and their insurance and therefore, oh,
Speaker 1: one k if they're supporting a family. It gets more
Speaker 1: difficult as you get older and you have more responsibilities
Speaker 1: to be courageous. Okay, you can still do it. You
Speaker 1: can be an entrepreneur at ninety years old. And I'm
Speaker 1: not even kidding. But if you are young and you
Speaker 1: don't have major life responsibilities, there's no reason you shouldn't
Speaker 1: be on the road that you want to be. This
Speaker 1: is the time. It's not going to be later, okay.
Speaker 1: And if you're on that road, if I want to
Speaker 1: meet someone, I want to get married, I want everything
Speaker 1: tied up in a perfect little box and to be
Speaker 1: taken care of. That road is swervy to and not reliable.
Speaker 1: So if you have something inside of you and you
Speaker 1: want to go get something, you go get it at
Speaker 1: any age. But certainly if you do not have major,
Speaker 1: major life responsibilities. I mean, I can't go move to
Speaker 1: certain countries because I have a daughter. I can't just
Speaker 1: run off and you know, promote what I want to
Speaker 1: promote in Australia because I have a daughter, Like I
Speaker 1: have a partner in life, and I can't just do
Speaker 1: what I want to do um and now I have
Speaker 1: partners in business and philanthropy and all these other things.
Speaker 1: And you know, I owe myself to a lot of people.
Speaker 1: So when you don't have that, that's when you can
Speaker 1: really go for it and hit your stride. So that's
Speaker 1: the thing about you've got to be in it to
Speaker 1: win it. Success is the intersection of success is the
Speaker 1: intersection of intention and luck. Talk to so many mobiles
Speaker 1: on my podcast. We all agree it doesn't matter how
Speaker 1: lucky you are, you better be prepared for when that
Speaker 1: luck shows up, that those fish are in that water.
Speaker 1: You better have your net and a sturdy boat, and
Speaker 1: you'd be standing there waiting to catch them. Because talking
Speaker 1: about it and thinking that a unicorns flying through your
Speaker 1: window and making you successful does not exist. Trust the process.
Speaker 1: You don't need to know what you're doing. You don't
Speaker 1: need to get out of college or leave a job
Speaker 1: or have a side hustle to know what the point is.
Speaker 1: You are not supposed to at any point really know
Speaker 1: what you do. I still don't have a whole big plan.
Speaker 1: I never have. I played check. I played chess and
Speaker 1: know what the board is doing and have fantasy plans
Speaker 1: and know what my brand is and what my culture
Speaker 1: is and what my code is, and you too should
Speaker 1: know what your what you stand for, what you want.
Speaker 1: It will change, but you do not need to know.
Speaker 1: You have to trust the process, and whatever job you take,
Speaker 1: you do it the best you can. You could be
Speaker 1: shoveling snow, you could be picking up poop, you could
Speaker 1: be cleaning people's houses. I don't care what it is.
Speaker 1: You do it to the best of your ability. Because
Speaker 1: trust me, whoever you meet and whatever you do will
Speaker 1: come in handy later. There will be lessons in those
Speaker 1: things that you think are beneath you. And if you
Speaker 1: think they're beneath you, you cannot do this well. You
Speaker 1: have to do every job like it's your life. And
Speaker 1: I've had every job and I've always treated it like
Speaker 1: it's the most important job. Other ones no one to
Speaker 1: hold them and went to fold them. Not everything is
Speaker 1: a good idea. Not everything has to be pushed through.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you have to walk away. That is important. Uh.
Speaker 1: If you're building a team, if you work in a
Speaker 1: corporate environment, if you have a staff at all, even
Speaker 1: if it's a house staff, you're only as good as
Speaker 1: your weakest link. People always say you're only as happy
Speaker 1: as your most miserable child. Okay, So whatever is negative,
Speaker 1: whatever is not working, whatever you're is pulling the focus
Speaker 1: the attention. One little gnat buzzing in your ear can
Speaker 1: druin a whole day. So whatever is not working in
Speaker 1: your infrastructure, you've got to cut it, loose, move it
Speaker 1: out to some other place, or fix it. Those are
Speaker 1: your choices. Drinking a situation pretty is not going to happen. Um.
Speaker 1: Keeping your circle tight, you just must do that. You
Speaker 1: just can't trusts most people. It's related to uh my
Speaker 1: rule that's never connect the dots. Don't connect too many dots.
Speaker 1: You can network, you can talk to people, you can
Speaker 1: have conversation. You just don't need to tell everybody everything
Speaker 1: you've done and everyone that you know. You just don't
Speaker 1: need to because the more you reveal, the more something
Speaker 1: comes back. You mentioned a person that you know, they
Speaker 1: know them too, they don't like them. Now they're judging
Speaker 1: you based on the fact they don't like them. You
Speaker 1: say you're doing this deal. They think you won't be
Speaker 1: able to do the deal you're doing with them, or
Speaker 1: they judge you for that deal, or they tell someone else,
Speaker 1: then you don't get the deal. Is just no need
Speaker 1: to over connect the dots. Protect The realm is your brand,
Speaker 1: your code, your culture, what it is you do. Not
Speaker 1: go off to the shiny objects and the other things
Speaker 1: that are fast cash or just seem like a good
Speaker 1: idea in the moment, or that you can't resist, because
Speaker 1: you're always doing things that adhere to the line of
Speaker 1: what your main main goal is. Um, fewer buckets full.
Speaker 1: It's my mantra about stacking and just I'd rather have
Speaker 1: fewer quality things to work on to give me a
Speaker 1: good return on my emotional, physical, or financial investment. Then
Speaker 1: spreading yourself so thin. It all sounds good, Then the
Speaker 1: calendar gets clagged. You're telling people you can have plans
Speaker 1: with them. You're doing too many things, and you've got
Speaker 1: to get militant and strict. You've got to cut things out.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we must discuss my plan experience. I
Speaker 1: get on the plane on Jet Blue, first row, um,
Speaker 1: and everybody thinks I should be flying, you know, a
Speaker 1: first class spaceship when I go to Orlando or do
Speaker 1: an appearance. Evidently, Oh, you don't have a private plane, right.
Speaker 1: I don't fly a plane just to go down to Orlando.
Speaker 1: Every time I leave my house to go to fucking
Speaker 1: CVS and get lip. Plus, I don't take a plane,
Speaker 1: pry the plane. So I was in the first row
Speaker 1: of jet Blue and there were two people next to me,
Speaker 1: thin blonde couple, tan like, look very like. They definitely
Speaker 1: live in Florida. They live in Orlando. They were going home,
Speaker 1: and um, they were in love. They were very, very
Speaker 1: very much in love. There was a long delay because
Speaker 1: there was weather and they were very much in love.
Speaker 1: And how do I know this Because they were making
Speaker 1: out and that's their body and it's their choice. But
Speaker 1: there were sounds that were attached to this. And this
Speaker 1: is where I draw the line. This was and I'm
Speaker 1: not I never exaggerate. You'll find out. Everyone who works
Speaker 1: for me will tell you. I do not embellish, I
Speaker 1: do not exaggerate. I'm a very literal person. Okay, So
Speaker 1: they're next to me and it's back and forth, and
Speaker 1: this is what it sounds like. And it's not over
Speaker 1: like they're not they're not like moaning, but it's exactly,
Speaker 1: it's just it's it's because you know, I love you
Speaker 1: so much and I love you so because the kiss
Speaker 1: is not enough. Like even like they were making out,
Speaker 1: there were window in middle. I wouldn't have even but
Speaker 1: it was the noises, and I wanted to fucking grab
Speaker 1: the goddamn vomit bag in front of me, like, like
Speaker 1: I love, it's an exaggerated fucking you know, it's more
Speaker 1: than a kiss. It's more than a kiss. It's just
Speaker 1: like a slightly wet smooch, you know, but it's love,
Speaker 1: it's lust. It's like I want to fuck you smooch, okay,
Speaker 1: And I'm like Jesus fucking Christ. So in addition to
Speaker 1: the smooching the man next to me, she massaged him.
Speaker 1: At one point she gave him. He leaned forward and
Speaker 1: she was giving him a full massage because she loves
Speaker 1: saying she's the best partner ever, and they love each
Speaker 1: other and they smooch, and I'm just like, of course,
Speaker 1: I'm like, what level what level of their relationship are they?
Speaker 1: Add like do they where are they in this journey? Okay?
Speaker 1: I was thinking that the whole time. So then he's
Speaker 1: and I'm not kidding, it's not singing. He's humming singing.
Speaker 1: He's like dinging. He's doing this like in between, like
Speaker 1: because they're so in love, they're like this like sort
Speaker 1: of rock and roll ee kind of couple and he's
Speaker 1: going like this, he's going mmmmmmm, but like getting into it,
Speaker 1: you know, like John Mayory, like mmmmm. And I'm thinking,
Speaker 1: I don't what am I gonna do it? Like what
Speaker 1: am I gonna do? I have to be Buddhist, I
Speaker 1: have to be a monk, like what what am I
Speaker 1: going to do? Because sometimes it would go on longer
Speaker 1: and then it would stop and I'd be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're safe now, and it would go on longer and
Speaker 1: it would stop, and it was. It was a lot,
Speaker 1: and I was happy for them to be so in love.
Speaker 1: And I did, of course think about my relationship and
Speaker 1: that we are not like slurp smooching in on the
Speaker 1: plane and like I might give Paul a kiss, but
Speaker 1: I would never be something that was audible. And I
Speaker 1: had and I talked to no one ever because I
Speaker 1: don't want to engage in conversation, but I had to
Speaker 1: say when we were landing, like we were like it
Speaker 1: was about to be deep when the thing goes off
Speaker 1: and you can get your fucking bags amazing race. So
Speaker 1: I said, how long have you guys been together? Because
Speaker 1: I needed to hear the answer to like the slurping stage.
Speaker 1: And he said six to six eight months. I was
Speaker 1: like hm, and I was like, oh great, yeah, And
Speaker 1: I was like, exactly, exactly, the fucking soul hasn't been
Speaker 1: ripped out of his relationship. Like it's not avoid dead
Speaker 1: love that's solid and that you enjoy, but where you've
Speaker 1: been through like full bickering arguments and like logistical debates
Speaker 1: and differences in personality and differences in sleeping styles and
Speaker 1: fucking who wants to eat at this time? And did
Speaker 1: your partner need to meet in a potato at every
Speaker 1: meal where you like to eat him homeless and snacks?
Speaker 1: Or did your partner like make noises at night or
Speaker 1: are they super messy and you're super organized or do
Speaker 1: they every fucking night? Ask you what do you? So?
Speaker 1: I was like, thank fucking god, six to eight months.
Speaker 1: It's exactly what I needed to hear for the slurping
Speaker 1: smooching stage. Mind you, I was never at the slurping
Speaker 1: smooching stage. Okay, all along the same lines, closed the
Speaker 1: slurping chapter and relationship chapter. This happened. I was in
Speaker 1: the first seat, and I think I wanted to go
Speaker 1: get a snack or something, and I was getting on
Speaker 1: the plane. And I walked onto the plane and the
Speaker 1: gentleman and it wasn't full yet the plane, if vally
Speaker 1: had loaded, my zone had loaded, but my row I think,
Speaker 1: had five seats and three people sitting in them. So
Speaker 1: I showed up to two out of the five people
Speaker 1: in that row weren't there yet. So I walked directly
Speaker 1: onto the plane. You know, you entered the door and
Speaker 1: the man who later was he was a very nice man,
Speaker 1: and I he was actually a wonderful flight attendant. And
Speaker 1: what they fucking don't go through. I put me in
Speaker 1: an institution. But this is what they This is exactly
Speaker 1: precisely the interaction that ensued. I walk on. I have
Speaker 1: an enormal sized carry on suitcase. The first thing, like
Speaker 1: he's waiting to you're gonna have to check that. You're
Speaker 1: gonna have to say. I didn't even get on to
Speaker 1: no four plane, no fucking lube, nothing, just walked right
Speaker 1: into the plane. There's only like twenty five people on
Speaker 1: the plane. My fucking zone entered. But like I, it's
Speaker 1: not We're not, you know, on the goddamn Titanic, jumping
Speaker 1: on lifeboats yet. So I entered at the door and
Speaker 1: the man looks at me and he says, you're gonna
Speaker 1: have to check that, and I'm like and it's like why,
Speaker 1: And it's like why, of course? Why? Why? I know
Speaker 1: why because a fucking donkey came on the plane and
Speaker 1: said so obviously he's gonna say why because all these
Speaker 1: are the things. So I'm like, there's no closet, but
Speaker 1: I'm not in first class when they have a closet
Speaker 1: that you never even get anyway where they put their
Speaker 1: fucking coats. And he's like, well no, and I'm like okay,
Speaker 1: And so everything you do because there's nothing to do.
Speaker 1: There's nothing to do when you're sitting on a plane,
Speaker 1: but like, look at everything everyone else is doing that's
Speaker 1: annoying or wrong or being extra or being like a diva.
Speaker 1: And now some people know who I am. So I'm
Speaker 1: self conscious of every move, which will get to in
Speaker 1: a second because my assistant put me in an interesting
Speaker 1: position on the same flight. So so I now and
Speaker 1: feeling like I'm gonna I want to believe him that
Speaker 1: it's all full, but I want to be like a
Speaker 1: non public person and just be a fucking Karen, and
Speaker 1: I want to know what's going on. In these above things.
Speaker 1: So and of course I'm in the front row, so
Speaker 1: I have nothing beneath me where I couldn't have put
Speaker 1: that bag anyway. But he was like, and we'll also
Speaker 1: have to find something for your other which is just
Speaker 1: my toe. He was already drilling down on my toe.
Speaker 1: We hadn't even talked about the checking of this thing,
Speaker 1: and I was like, he's like, I'm a losso have
Speaker 1: to find because I didn't have any under my seat.
Speaker 1: I only had like a normal size square toad and
Speaker 1: like the seat. So now I'm sweating, and anybody else
Speaker 1: who wants to get on the plane, this is the thing.
Speaker 1: And I don't want to create a drama. And I'm
Speaker 1: just like okay. So I opened up the two front things.
Speaker 1: But you know how like the first one is connected
Speaker 1: to the second one. They don't like stop they're connected.
Speaker 1: So I opened up the first one, and of course
Speaker 1: there are you know, bags for these three people in
Speaker 1: those two and maybe one of them has a purse.
Speaker 1: So I opened up this, but I could see to
Speaker 1: the second one. There's only one bag in there, and
Speaker 1: it's like one and a half bags. But you literally,
Speaker 1: and I mean, I've jammed fucking bags on the plane.
Speaker 1: All you had to do is like like just move
Speaker 1: it over, like a normal thing, like moving over. I
Speaker 1: was like, and so I look at it and said, yeah,
Speaker 1: well I go. I opened up. I go. I like
Speaker 1: to come from a place of yes in these situations
Speaker 1: and just moving this ahead and puts my bag and
Speaker 1: the other bag with no problem. Because it was like
Speaker 1: this man started with a place and know and I
Speaker 1: was gonna have to check my bag and not even
Speaker 1: think about. All I did was open one compartment and
Speaker 1: it was there. But it started off on like this
Speaker 1: aggressive thing where I was the bad guy because I
Speaker 1: had said it, and I like, you know, and I
Speaker 1: was in my mind I was a no one all too.
Speaker 1: I was like, say, one cabinet I opened and and
Speaker 1: solved this crime. So the moral is I like for
Speaker 1: someone to just come from the place said yes when
Speaker 1: we start, like, I'd like to just at least give
Speaker 1: me the god damn benefit of the debt. Okay, let's
Speaker 1: open two fucking things and pretend we try. So that's
Speaker 1: what happened on my play