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Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda Land Audio

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Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. So I'm in the

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Speaker 1: nick You and I had met this one mom and

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Speaker 1: her baby is so much smaller, so much tinier than

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Speaker 1: my baby. During one of the moments in the Nick You,

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Speaker 1: I'm I see her. She's being delivered some news by

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Speaker 1: the doctor and she's in the corner of the room

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Speaker 1: by her baby and is just shaking and crying. Her

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Speaker 1: husband isn't with her. I felt myself compelled to move

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Speaker 1: toward her and I held her and I literally said

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Speaker 1: all of the words that my character had just said,

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Speaker 1: you will be able to survive this. And I was

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Speaker 1: in that spot with that woman in that moment because

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Speaker 1: my daughter came early and there's no other way that

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Speaker 1: that meeting would have happened. Hello everybody, and welcome back

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Speaker 1: to Katie's Crib. You guys have been asking for this

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Speaker 1: particular guest for a very long time and finally late

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Speaker 1: got her. I am talking about the one and only

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Speaker 1: Sarah Drew. You guys know where has dr April Kepner

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Speaker 1: on Grey's Anatomy. She's actually gonna be returning to the

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Speaker 1: ABC Drama for its season eighteen finale, which airs May.

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Speaker 1: What Uh. Sarah was also on Freeform's Team drama Cruel.

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Speaker 1: Summer is Cindy Turner, Kitty Romano on the ABC drama

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Speaker 1: series Madman. She's been on Cold Case, Lawn Order, Glee,

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Speaker 1: Private Practice. The list goes on and on and on

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Speaker 1: and on. She's doing awesome things. She just inked a

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Speaker 1: two picture deal with Lifetime. You can catch her on

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Speaker 1: Apple TV's Amber Brown, which is premiering later this year.

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Speaker 1: She lives in LA with her husband Peter. They have

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Speaker 1: a ten year old son, Micah and a seven year

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Speaker 1: old daughter, Hannah. Sarah, thank you so much for coming

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Speaker 1: onto Katie's crib. Hello, Hi, so nice to seem so

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Speaker 1: nice of you, And you were such a mentor to

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Speaker 1: me and a soul sister being on a Shonda Land

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Speaker 1: show having a baby. Did you have Mica on that show? Also?

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Speaker 1: I had both of them. Yeah, that's right. Okay. So

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Speaker 1: I took Sarah d out and I said I didn't

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Speaker 1: have any children yet, and I had heard that Shonda

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Speaker 1: will help, it will be okay. Like when you're an

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Speaker 1: actor in Hollywood, you're like, oh God, don't ever get pregnant,

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Speaker 1: it will ever hire you again? Yeah, it's a scary.

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Speaker 1: I mean I remember even when I went to tell

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Speaker 1: her that I was pregnant, I was like stressed out

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Speaker 1: of my mind and she was like, you look so

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Speaker 1: good and so young. It's stupid. I love you for

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Speaker 1: saying it. I have so much insecurity. Oh please, you

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Speaker 1: look on freaking real, I mean, unbelievable. Did you always

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Speaker 1: want to be a mom? Always? Yes. I grew up

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Speaker 1: in a pretty conservative situation and the daughter of a pastor.

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Speaker 1: My parents were married when my mom was twenty and

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Speaker 1: then she was still in college. I wanted to meet

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Speaker 1: my husband at my Christian youth camps that I went to.

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Speaker 1: And the funny thing is I did meet my husband

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Speaker 1: at one of those camps. We were leaders at it,

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Speaker 1: and it was during my college experience. And I did

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Speaker 1: get married right out of college. And I always always

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Speaker 1: wanted to have kids, always wanted to be a mom,

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Speaker 1: but it took me like we didn't We waited nine

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Speaker 1: years after getting married to have kids. So do you

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Speaker 1: mind telling us, like, what was the hold up? Was it?

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Speaker 1: Career stuff? Was totally career stuff. I found myself having

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Speaker 1: like panic attacks at all my friends baby showers because

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Speaker 1: I was mad that I felt like they were ready

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Speaker 1: and I wasn't. And there was something in me that

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Speaker 1: wanted so badly to be in the space where I

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Speaker 1: was ready to do it, but I wasn't, and for

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Speaker 1: some reason, it like it messed with my head. I'd

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Speaker 1: go to all these baby showers and I'd be like

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Speaker 1: an anxious wreck and I'd be like, when is the

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Speaker 1: moment going to be for me? When am I going

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Speaker 1: to do this thing? I know I want to? When

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Speaker 1: did you feel that it was time? Like? How did

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Speaker 1: you know? So I became a series regular on Grays

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Speaker 1: and I they didn't know. I had this whole thing

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Speaker 1: in my head when I was young, and like, starting

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Speaker 1: off in my career path, I'm like, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be Reese Witherspoon, Right, I'm going to have babies while

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Speaker 1: I'm a movie star. Sure, sure, plan that was how

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Speaker 1: it was going to go. And then that didn't happen,

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Speaker 1: Like I did not become a movie star. Never how

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Speaker 1: you plan it. So then I was like, Okay, well

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Speaker 1: what do I do now? Like and it's not convenient

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Speaker 1: ever to do this thing when we're doing what we do,

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Speaker 1: um and I remember being, you know, coming up on

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Speaker 1: my hiatus after my first year as a series regular

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Speaker 1: on Grays, thinking oh, well, now I'm going to be

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Speaker 1: a movie star because I'm a is regular on Grades

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Speaker 1: and then as soon as I become a movie star,

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Speaker 1: then I'll be able to have kids because that's what

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Speaker 1: makes sense. And hiatus hit and nobody was interested in

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Speaker 1: they gave me a movie star. Well, you just start

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Speaker 1: to realize that it's never enough. There's never going to

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Speaker 1: be the career thing that makes it like now is

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Speaker 1: the time to have a baby, because there's always something next, yes,

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Speaker 1: And it's never enough not only for the big decisions

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Speaker 1: of like when am I going to have a kid,

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Speaker 1: When will I get married? Like all those like big

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Speaker 1: life questions, but it's also never enough in terms of

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Speaker 1: when will I be happy as an artist? There is

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Speaker 1: never ever that place you get to where you're like

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Speaker 1: now I'm there and now I can rest, Now I

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Speaker 1: can relax. It was an awakening for me during that

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Speaker 1: hiatus when I was like, oh, this isn't the plan

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Speaker 1: I created in my brain, and if I don't do

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Speaker 1: this thing that I know I want to do, I'm

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Speaker 1: just never when am I going to do it, you know,

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Speaker 1: and so we got pregnant right away. I mean it

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Speaker 1: was like an immediate kind of thing. Yes, hallelujah. And

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Speaker 1: then it worked out so brilliantly. Your son was like, Mom,

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Speaker 1: I've been waiting for nine years, like exactly, you've been

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Speaker 1: with my dad for a hundred years since we were counselors.

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Speaker 1: That So, Mica Emmanual Lamb for gorgeous, beautiful name. How

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Speaker 1: was your pregnancy so? Um, I'm not I was. I

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Speaker 1: did not enjoy pregnancy either of the times. Um, the

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Speaker 1: first time, you know, I wasn't like horrifically sick. I

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Speaker 1: was nauseous for the first you know, for like sixteen

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Speaker 1: weeks or ten weeks or sixteen weeks or something like that.

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Speaker 1: But I just in general not like lugging around that

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Speaker 1: extra load sore. It's exhausting. You feel like you're climbing

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Speaker 1: a mountain every day. And then I was shooting long

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Speaker 1: hours every day. Um, with both of my kids. It

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Speaker 1: was a lot. And then I had like an incredibly

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Speaker 1: horrible time fighting with the breastfeeding thing with Michael when

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Speaker 1: he was born, to the point that it was like

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Speaker 1: it was like ten weeks of battling that this is

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Speaker 1: a different topic. I just wanted a different topic. It's

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Speaker 1: very triggering for people. I mean breastfeeding. We we've talked

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Speaker 1: about it a lot on Katie's Crib, a lot of

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Speaker 1: people listening. You know, you can go back to season one,

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Speaker 1: We've we've done so many episodes on breastfeeding. But I

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Speaker 1: always think it's it's never enough. I have so many

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Speaker 1: friends who have just given birth, like during COVID, and

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Speaker 1: breastfeeding still continues to be this ride for some women

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Speaker 1: that is um really stressful, incredibly painful, and not rewarding

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Speaker 1: and makes them feel like failures and it sucks, Yes, totally.

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Speaker 1: There's so much judgment about it and you feel walking

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Speaker 1: into it that like I'm not real. I'm not a

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Speaker 1: real mom unless I do this thing. Yes, but we

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Speaker 1: but we do that with eight thousand things related to motherhood.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a real mom. If I have help, I'm

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Speaker 1: not a real mom. If I go back to work,

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Speaker 1: I'm not a real mom. If I didn't labor, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm not a real mom. If I if I took drugs,

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Speaker 1: if I did you know the pain pain drugs? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's like so many ways that we can beat the

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Speaker 1: ship out of ourselves. That's right, that's right. We're just

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Speaker 1: looking for ways to decide for a failure, just to

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Speaker 1: just decide that we are. I don't know why we

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Speaker 1: do this for ourselves, but for me, I had to

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Speaker 1: have because I had lactatian consultants making it worse, not

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Speaker 1: helping the situation, making me feel more horrible, and like, oh, well, Sarah,

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Speaker 1: you know if you don't if you if you just

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Speaker 1: go to the pump and he doesn't suckle, then you're

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Speaker 1: going to dry up and then he just won't have

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Speaker 1: breast milk, and breast is best. None of that is true. None,

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Speaker 1: none of it is true. I know men who pumped

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Speaker 1: for a year because they were back at work and

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Speaker 1: they never breastband and they're like, well, I I didn't

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Speaker 1: really breastfeed. I was like, you fucking yes, you did.

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Speaker 1: That's what I did. At week ten, I found myself

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Speaker 1: standing outside of church with all the other moms like

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Speaker 1: bouncing their babies, like while the certament is happening and

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Speaker 1: weeping to this like commune of women that all had

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Speaker 1: very different philosophies on breast like they'd all done different things,

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Speaker 1: all of them, and every single one of them said,

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Speaker 1: why are you torturing each other? Just relax, like formula

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Speaker 1: is awesome. Do you know how awesome formula is these days?

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Speaker 1: For it allow yourself to bond. It's like I needed

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Speaker 1: permission from those women or somebody. I needed someone someone

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Speaker 1: to hear it. Yes, I needed somebody to tell me

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Speaker 1: this is okay, You're not a failure, like I have

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Speaker 1: these I have these memories of like shirtless bouncing on

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Speaker 1: a bound singball, sobbing with like the breast shield, trying

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Speaker 1: to get into latch. And then every time somebody else

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Speaker 1: would take him, you know when I was working, maybe

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Speaker 1: like your baby so sweet, he takes the bottle so well,

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Speaker 1: and he just would scream on me because this breastfeeding

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Speaker 1: thing was such a battle. It was so weird. But

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Speaker 1: I when I received that permission, all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: I had this incredible freedom and I started just pumping,

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Speaker 1: and I, like, all of a sudden, started creating tons

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Speaker 1: of milk because you weren't stressed and you're happy, and

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Speaker 1: you were connecting with your baby exactly. So they had

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Speaker 1: a story haddah, Molly Rose Laper, you were very pregnant,

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Speaker 1: and then your character April was struggling with like a

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Speaker 1: bad situation, right, Yes, my character April had a baby

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Speaker 1: who had to ask you a genesis imperfecto type two,

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Speaker 1: which was basically like in utero. Baby's bones were breaking,

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Speaker 1: baby was in pin in utero, and there's like a

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Speaker 1: zero percent chance of survival or a very minuscule chance

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Speaker 1: of survival. So then the big question between April and

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Speaker 1: Jackson was do we terminate because babies in pain? Do

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Speaker 1: we carry a full term? My character's super pro life,

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Speaker 1: So we shot my you know, my character ultimately comes

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Speaker 1: to the decision that she's going to terminate, and I

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Speaker 1: do this labor delivery death scene that takes ten hours

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Speaker 1: with Jesse William only because yes, yes, um, and I

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Speaker 1: go home and ten hours later I go into premature labor.

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Speaker 1: And how early were you? A month? So I didn't

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Speaker 1: have a room ready for her. We were planning to

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Speaker 1: close off our den and have builders come in, and

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Speaker 1: then we had it was still a den, it was

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Speaker 1: still couches. I had no clothes for her, I had nothing.

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Speaker 1: I had nothing prepared for this baby, and obviously I

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Speaker 1: was super traumatized because I felt like I had done

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Speaker 1: this to her because I had allowed myself to tell

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Speaker 1: this story, and I had pitched this story before I

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Speaker 1: was pregnant, and they've given me an out and told

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Speaker 1: me I didn't have to tell the story once I

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Speaker 1: once I discovered that I was pregnant, and I still said, no,

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Speaker 1: I want to do it. I want to do it.

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Speaker 1: You know, I didn't know. Oh, I would never either.

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Speaker 1: I'd be like, of course I could do it. And

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Speaker 1: it's so gray, there's so much gray area, so interesting

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Speaker 1: and chalk filled with like pro life and abortion and

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Speaker 1: choices and when and why and what and faith and

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Speaker 1: belief and what like, Like the story happened to friends

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Speaker 1: of my parents who are pro life. They like went saw,

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Speaker 1: you know, counsel from my parents about what to do.

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Speaker 1: My parents like walked through the whole thing with them,

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Speaker 1: and everybody agreed that this was the best choice to

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Speaker 1: make in this scenario, was to do this induction termination. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, to have that as a storyline between someone

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Speaker 1: who is a person of faith and someone who is

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Speaker 1: you know, is not a person of faith, there's so

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Speaker 1: many amazing conversations that could come out of that, of course,

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Speaker 1: So you really go forward in the shooting of it,

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Speaker 1: where You're like, you're not pushing, no, no, but you're

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Speaker 1: obviously stressed and stressed, so stressed, and your body, like

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Speaker 1: your body doesn't I mean, you know this, your body

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Speaker 1: doesn't know the difference. When you're working yourself up into

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Speaker 1: a panic for a scene, all the things in your

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Speaker 1: body start happening that would happen when you're in panic.

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Speaker 1: Your body is really screaming and really crying. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: can remember during Scandal when Carrie was pregnant, like someone

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Speaker 1: shot someone I can't remember who, and she was like

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Speaker 1: Olivia Pope was like screaming, crying, and we I remember

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Speaker 1: like between takes us all going over to her stomach

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Speaker 1: and just like petting her belly and being like it's

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Speaker 1: we're just making pretend this isn't real, you know. And

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Speaker 1: also because of you, I'm pretty sure that when Quinn

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Speaker 1: gave birth, because Quinn was really pregnant, when I was

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Speaker 1: really pregnant with Albie, they just did it where I

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Speaker 1: was my character was put under anesthesia and the baby

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Speaker 1: was there. That was why why choice? Okay, so you

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Speaker 1: put your body not like you were actually pushing, but

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Speaker 1: you were stressed. You were quiet, But I I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm literally holding my dying baby. He squeezes my finger

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Speaker 1: and then he lets go, and it's ten hours of weeping,

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Speaker 1: just ten hours of desperate, miserable sadness. We've never worked together.

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Speaker 1: I hope, I'm so lucky to do so. But how

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Speaker 1: did you show up to work that day? Are you

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Speaker 1: someone who can really separate that? Or do you show

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Speaker 1: up at work and you go to like a really

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Speaker 1: fucked up place. I go to a dark place. I mean, like,

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Speaker 1: it's not like calling me by my character name. I

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Speaker 1: can't laugh at between tags. But I place myself, with

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Speaker 1: my imagination and my body as deeply as I possibly

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Speaker 1: can into the reality of the situation, and I have

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Speaker 1: a very vivid imagination for it, and I have a

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Speaker 1: deep well of emotion. I built that I'm a four

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Speaker 1: on the angiogram. I am like I eat sadness for breakfast,

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Speaker 1: Like I I think I'm a nine. What's a nine?

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Speaker 1: You're a peacemaker. Don't like conflict? No, it's hard to

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Speaker 1: make decisions horrible, Okay, so you eat so obviously you can.

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Speaker 1: So it's not like your met really, but it's like

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Speaker 1: your you can really tap in and go to a

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Speaker 1: dark imagination place. So ten hours later, you're like, is

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Speaker 1: that a contraction? Yeah. Ten hours later, I'm at my

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Speaker 1: kitchen table and I'm doing like my expense sheet for

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Speaker 1: the end of the year, and my nanny's in the house,

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Speaker 1: and I keep get up and like like needing to

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Speaker 1: like oh because I'm I'm like, yeah, I'm sure it's

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Speaker 1: just Braxton Higgs. But like it keeps happening. And then

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Speaker 1: it's like happening every five to seven minutes, and Molly's like,

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Speaker 1: I feel like you're getting up a lot and you

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Speaker 1: seem uncomfortable a lot. I don't know what's going on,

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Speaker 1: and so I call the doctor and I explain what's happening.

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Speaker 1: They're like, come in. I'm sure you're not in labor,

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Speaker 1: but come in. So I go to the hospital and um,

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Speaker 1: and I'm four centimeters dilated. So they're like, you're having

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Speaker 1: a baby now. I was like, what, I'm having a

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Speaker 1: baby now? Now I'm having a baby? Yes. I think

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Speaker 1: about the like anticipatory energy that my kids feel as

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Speaker 1: Christmas approaches. Can we just skip to Christmas Eve? Christmas

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Speaker 1: Eve is my favorite day of the entire year. You

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Speaker 1: want to skip to Christmas Eve? I just the waiting

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Speaker 1: is just intolerable, Like the the anticipation is so excited

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Speaker 1: eating and that's just like the littlest glimmer of what

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Speaker 1: it is when you're anticipating the birth of your child.

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Speaker 1: I've never experienced in my life that looking forward to

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Speaker 1: incredible heightened excitement like I did with my kids. You

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Speaker 1: know they, I mean, you know, but yeah, So it

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Speaker 1: was mostly excitement and mostly and mostly like, oh, this

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Speaker 1: is this is a surprise, this is different, this is

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Speaker 1: not the plan, this is interesting, and it was mostly okay.

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Speaker 1: And I've labored like I didn't get to labor with

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Speaker 1: Michael because I had toxemia and I had to be induced.

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Speaker 1: What's toxemia. It's like preclampsia. So I went in with

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Speaker 1: like upper abdominal pain and it was like proteining your

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Speaker 1: urine and certain enzymes or something. I don't know. Your

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00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:54,719
Speaker 1: placenta is basically poisoning your body and the only the

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Speaker 1: only cure is to get the baby and the placenta out.

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Speaker 1: That's what happens with toxemias. So that's happened with Mica.

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Speaker 1: So I never felt labor. I never experienced labor pain.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know what it was, so I did with

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Speaker 1: Hannah for a while and then I got the epidural

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Speaker 1: and whatever. So everything was exciting and wonderful until they

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Speaker 1: whisked her away after five minutes and took her to

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Speaker 1: deal with flung stuff. And and I didn't expect that

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Speaker 1: that was going to happen, Like there was no sort

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Speaker 1: of prep of you know, because she's this early, she

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Speaker 1: may have to go to the Nike. You like, she

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Speaker 1: was far enough a long and she was big enough

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Speaker 1: they could tell if you're thirty six weeks right, or

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Speaker 1: you were thirty six thirty five weeks or something, you're

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Speaker 1: right on that cop And it's so much lung development right,

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Speaker 1: Like the element is the biggie. It was that. And

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Speaker 1: then also I had gestational diabetes diabetes during my pregnancy

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Speaker 1: of Hannah, which sucked. If anyone's had gestational diabetes, it's

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Speaker 1: the worst. Oh my god, so many people get gestational diabetes.

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Speaker 1: I feel so bad that you're like pregnant and you

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Speaker 1: like are on a diet. Yeah, you can't eat anything.

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Speaker 1: Just the worst. Justational diabetes is just that you have

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Speaker 1: diabetes during the pregnancy then it goes away. But basically

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Speaker 1: it means that your body is not processing sugar well

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Speaker 1: during pregnancy, and so you can't eat like any bread. No, no,

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Speaker 1: it's a very or or like fruit or any dairy

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Speaker 1: like anything that turned into sugar. Like you are fucked,

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Speaker 1: which is like, are you joking during pregnancy? Thank you

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Speaker 1: very oh god. So at first when they took her away,

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Speaker 1: it was because blood sugar things were out of whack

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Speaker 1: for her, so they had to do that. But then

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Speaker 1: they brought her to the nursery, and then at the

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Speaker 1: nursery they were realizing that her oxygen saturation was low,

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Speaker 1: so then they had to do a chest X ray

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Speaker 1: and then they saw that there was like some spots

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Speaker 1: in the lungs or some fluid like so they were like,

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Speaker 1: we don't know if it's just that they need to

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Speaker 1: develop a little bit more. I've talked to a lot

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Speaker 1: of moms who who have done the Nike thing, and

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Speaker 1: it's like it's its own just it's its own beast.

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Speaker 1: It's and and how long was she in the nicke

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Speaker 1: you like eleven days? Anybody who's done it, or like,

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Speaker 1: oh you've done it? Yeah, oh yes, I know what

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Speaker 1: that is. But it's what's so hard about it. There

347
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:06,919
Speaker 1: are a lot of things that are hard about it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, leaving the hospital without your baby is hard.

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Speaker 1: You know, after the two nights that you're there, that's

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Speaker 1: all I hear is that you can't believe that you're

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Speaker 1: walking home and you don't have your baby. Yes, that's hard,

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00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 1: that's really hard. Scrubbing in so weird um, but it's

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Speaker 1: the it's the little like improvements. And then and then

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Speaker 1: the back steps. You're hanging on every phone called breath

355
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Speaker 1: an everything, and it's like, oh, it's going to be

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Speaker 1: three days. Actually, well, you know, we try to take

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Speaker 1: her off the oxygen, and then and then she decided

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Speaker 1: so now we actually need to do another course of

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Speaker 1: whatever and and up the oxygen again. And and then

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Speaker 1: the other thing was she was eating with a feeding tube.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, I guess I'm just never gonna

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Speaker 1: get to breastfeed. How she gonna latch if she started

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Speaker 1: her life on a feeding tube? But she latched so easy.

364
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Speaker 1: I breast fed her for a year, like amazing. Yeah.

365
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Speaker 1: As soon as it was clear there were health issues

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Speaker 1: and I wasn't going to get to bring her home

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Speaker 1: right away, there was just this like niggling little worm

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Speaker 1: in my brain that was saying, this is your fault.

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Speaker 1: You brought this upon her, like she wasn't ready to

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Speaker 1: come early, and you made it happen because you didn't say, Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's do a different storyline, and you came up with

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Speaker 1: the storyline and then you went got pregnant. Like I mean,

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Speaker 1: all the blame to the point that I was having

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Speaker 1: some panic attacks when I was back at work and

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Speaker 1: I was back to work, you know, so soon after

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Speaker 1: giving birth and I am and I had to work

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Speaker 1: some stud to work some stuff out with a therapist,

378
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Speaker 1: I had to take some medication. Like it was, it was,

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Speaker 1: it was intense with did you have postpartum depression or

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Speaker 1: a postpartum anxiety? I mean and not like not diagnosed,

381
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Speaker 1: I would say, like with Micah at four o'clock every afternoon,

382
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Speaker 1: I would cry every single day at four o'clock, I

383
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Speaker 1: would cry the witching hour, arsenic hour, the witching hour,

384
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Speaker 1: or whatever you want to call it. But it's like

385
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 1: that's yeah, it's not good, that's yeah. Attext to yeah,

386
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Speaker 1: oh really, god, oh my god. I had horrible postpartum

387
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 1: depression anxiety with my with Vera horrible, but four pm

388
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 1: was like a ringer that's the worst horrible. My therapist

389
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 1: was like, really, so many people feel good because they're

390
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 1: only like two or three hours away from dinner. I'm like, oh, no, no, no,

391
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 1: I like we're living in fear. So you weren't diagnosed,

392
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 1: but you had to work out some guilt. No, And

393
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 1: it was more just like kind of gloom. It was

394
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 1: like gloomy stuff with Mica, but with Hannah. I'd be

395
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,679
Speaker 1: hit with just like waves of anxiety and like just

396
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,160
Speaker 1: my body would just revolt against me. And I had

397
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 1: a couple of moments on set where I just was

398
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 1: panicking so bad. I couldn't remember my lines like I was.

399
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 1: I usually remember like a vivid memory of like waiting

400
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Speaker 1: outside the hallway where I was where I supposed to enter,

401
00:22:56,359 --> 00:23:00,640
Speaker 1: waiting for action, and just like literally hyperventilating, like oh

402
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 1: my gosh, I don't even I can't do my job.

403
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 1: I can't do my job because I did this to

404
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,400
Speaker 1: myself and I brought this upon myself and I did

405
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 1: all of this and it's my fault and like how

406
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,320
Speaker 1: do I get out of this? And um my? My

407
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:16,400
Speaker 1: doctor prescribed me xan X for like just the attacks,

408
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 1: and that helped a lot. I mean, it's really hard

409
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 1: to work those hards. It's hard to work with panic,

410
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 1: it's hard to work with zan x. I know they're

411
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 1: both different, but like, what are you gonna do? I mean,

412
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Speaker 1: you know, it's why we're fighting so hard for you know,

413
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 1: paid true maternity leave. Oh my gosh, yes, women, because

414
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:42,080
Speaker 1: like obviously you were having panic directly related to feeling

415
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: like you were at fault for having your daughter come early,

416
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 1: which I personally think it was all meant to be. Yes,

417
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,880
Speaker 1: And I'm curious to see how you feel about it now,

418
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,719
Speaker 1: you know, but I'm sure it was. I always think

419
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,159
Speaker 1: about other women and other lines of work putting stress

420
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 1: on their bodies who make also go into labor early

421
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, you know, and them having to go

422
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 1: back to work like way too soon soon and not

423
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,399
Speaker 1: being paid, and the stress of that also having panic

424
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 1: attacks because they're just gave birth and their bodies a

425
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 1: hormonal roller coaster of insanity. It's like, I don't understand

426
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:21,520
Speaker 1: how any any of us are walking. Um, how do

427
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:28,680
Speaker 1: you feel now about that whole thing? I mean, it's

428
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 1: seven years ago, which is shock, and you're coming up

429
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,280
Speaker 1: upon her seventh birthday. It feels just like more like

430
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:39,160
Speaker 1: a wild chapter. Um. And there's no lingering shame or guilt.

431
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,959
Speaker 1: I feel good. I don't feel any of that. Um.

432
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 1: It just was the experience that I had. So it

433
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,120
Speaker 1: was so crazy. So many things happen. I feel like

434
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 1: in my world where I experience like the sorrow and

435
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,959
Speaker 1: the joy hand in hand, and I've experienced that a

436
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,919
Speaker 1: lot in the last few years. Of just like, wow,

437
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 1: that was really hard, but this beautiful thing happened, and

438
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 1: so I wouldn't trade it for the world. But you know,

439
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,199
Speaker 1: you get to know sometimes the mom the other moms

440
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,720
Speaker 1: in in the Nike you the other Nike moms. And

441
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: so I had just told a story right before I

442
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 1: had gone into labor and gone to the hospital. The

443
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 1: episode that we were shooting, my character is trying to

444
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 1: make the decision about whether to terminate or not, and

445
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 1: she has this experience with a woman who just lost

446
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 1: her fiance and she's just been wandering around the hospital

447
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 1: every and she's been changed and described because she was

448
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 1: covered in blood when she came into people think she's

449
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 1: a doctor and she hasn't been able to tell anyone

450
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,880
Speaker 1: she's not. And so I wind up finding her and

451
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: like giving her this hug because her she just like

452
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:45,680
Speaker 1: can't handle what happened. And I'm holding her and I'm saying,

453
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 1: you are strong, you are brave, you can you, you will,

454
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 1: you will get through this. And I don't even remember

455
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,239
Speaker 1: exactly what something was, but it was something like that,

456
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 1: just holding her while she shook and cried until she calmed.

457
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,160
Speaker 1: And there was something in that moment that enabled April

458
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,879
Speaker 1: to say, the right thing to do right now is

459
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 1: to let little Samuel go because he's in pain right now.

460
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,959
Speaker 1: And so that's when she makes the decision to go

461
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,959
Speaker 1: and do this scene that then led Hannah right. So

462
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: I'm in the nick You and I had met this

463
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 1: one mom and her baby is so much smaller, so

464
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 1: much tinier than my baby. She knew the show, so

465
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 1: she had sparked up a conversation. But during one of

466
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,880
Speaker 1: the moments in the nick You, I'm I see her.

467
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 1: She's being delivered some news by the doctor and she's

468
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 1: in the corner of the room by her baby and

469
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,639
Speaker 1: is just shaking and crying. Her husband isn't with her.

470
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 1: I felt myself compelled to move toward her, and I

471
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 1: grabbed her and I held her and I literally said

472
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 1: all of the words that my character had just said

473
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 1: three days prior, because those were the words that were

474
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 1: present in my brain and in my heart, and I

475
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:01,679
Speaker 1: felt her body calm, and we just sat there and

476
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 1: like embraced in this communal moment of shared what the fuck?

477
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 1: Like this is so traumatic, This is so scary what

478
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 1: we're doing right now. But you know what, you will

479
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 1: get through this. You are brave, you are strong, and

480
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 1: you will handle this. You will be able to survive this.

481
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:25,399
Speaker 1: And getting chills thinking about it again, Like I was

482
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:30,399
Speaker 1: given those words to say by the storyline that I

483
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 1: chose to tell, and I was in that spot with

484
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: that woman in that moment because my daughter came early

485
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:41,760
Speaker 1: and there's no other way that that meeting would have happened.

486
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,680
Speaker 1: Such a gift in such a dark time, but such

487
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 1: a this that like, I just feel like so much

488
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: of life is that you're holding both of these things. Right.

489
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:53,879
Speaker 1: If we just stay in the like I'm only going

490
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,680
Speaker 1: to look at the positive, and then you don't deal

491
00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:00,080
Speaker 1: with the gravity of the pain, then where are you.

492
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 1: You're living in a fantasy world if you get stuck

493
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 1: in the pain of something and can't kind of find

494
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 1: some little sliver of light or brightness or diamond. Then

495
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 1: you just get sucked down deep and life is both

496
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 1: always always and also so much of parenting. I mean,

497
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 1: I just have never like loved something so much. And

498
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:28,400
Speaker 1: at the same time, it's so scary that some one

499
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: creature my children could hold in their hands my entire livelihood,

500
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 1: my good and bad, and everything rests in their in

501
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 1: their hands. It is such a crazy ride. And it's

502
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 1: also a crazy ride, and just you, you're witnessing in

503
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: them the reality of what the world is. This like

504
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,959
Speaker 1: both sides of everything all the time. Because you just

505
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,200
Speaker 1: have to watch a tantrum of a four year old

506
00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 1: and then have them turn on a diamond start laughing

507
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 1: as day. It's something else to know that this is

508
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 1: a perfect picture of the reality of life. Yes, so okay,

509
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: you go back to work, you're having panic attacks, you

510
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 1: were able to talk to somebody and get help, thank god,

511
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 1: And you are working on a place where I'm sure

512
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 1: you were loved and supported by your co stars. And yes,

513
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 1: I was on set shooting exactly two weeks after giving birth,

514
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 1: where so she had been home for three days when

515
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 1: I was on set shooting an eight hour day because

516
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 1: they thought you were going to a Yeah, I was

517
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: supposed to finish all this storyline stuff I was supposed

518
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:50,960
Speaker 1: to be there for. Oh my god. I didn't even

519
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: realize that same thing happened with Mike because Mikea came

520
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 1: a week early and I was supposed to shoot that

521
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 1: whole week. So two weeks after giving birth, I had

522
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 1: to go to work and shoot one day to knock

523
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 1: all these scenes out that we're written in the previous episode. Wow,

524
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 1: was everyone like like shocked that you would have the baby?

525
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 1: Like what was the energy? Really? Just like delightful? Can

526
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 1: we peek at the baby? Because you know baby was

527
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 1: in my trailer. That's the best thing about Shaunda Land.

528
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: It's like your baby's there, you you go breastfeed. They're

529
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: like very amazing. And I actually had one one um

530
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 1: situation on set where we had like worked, you know,

531
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 1: a Faturday, and I didn't have help on the weekends,

532
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 1: and there was no way to recover from a Faturday

533
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:40,479
Speaker 1: with the newborn, Like just there's no way to recover,

534
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 1: Like I I, you know, you get home and then

535
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 1: you've just lost a whole night of sleep. So I

536
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 1: called Shanda and I was like, I don't think I

537
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 1: can do this, Like I can't do Fraturday's. I need

538
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 1: Hannah to be sleep trained. I need like the I

539
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 1: need the first half of the year of her life

540
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 1: and then I can do satur Days again. But I

541
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 1: can I can't do. And people who are listening Faturday's

542
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 1: is like you work until three or four o'clock in

543
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 1: the morning on a Friday night. Yeah, and then your

544
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 1: baby's up at five at five, yes, and you don't

545
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 1: you just haven't slept and you and I didn't. I

546
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 1: don't have help on the weekends. Like that's just I

547
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 1: had a nanny five days, you know, five days a

548
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 1: week Friday. You know, I've had to have an incredible husband,

549
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 1: super involved husband. But like you still have a new born.

550
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 1: I still do feel they're at hell and breast connected

551
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 1: with her all those things. So I remember calling Shanda

552
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: just being like, can can you help me out here?

553
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 1: And so she made a rule. She was like, yep,

554
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,239
Speaker 1: from until the end of the season, you are no

555
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: longer working any Friturdays. You're never up last on a

556
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 1: Friday night for the rest of the season. It was

557
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 1: just like done, it was just done. I'm like handled handled. Yes,

558
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 1: I was like I love you so much. Thank you,

559
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,720
Speaker 1: and also good on you for asking for what you need,

560
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 1: because a lot of women don't do that either. Right,

561
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,960
Speaker 1: did you feel this pull that you should be home?

562
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 1: I never wanted to. In fact, both times that I

563
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 1: had to go to work after two weeks, I was like,

564
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: thank you, baby Jesus. I would like to go see

565
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 1: some humans that are grown ups. I would like to

566
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 1: do this thing I love to do for me. My

567
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: happiness in life rests entirely on balance. Yea, I cannot

568
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: be only working. I cannot be only parenting. Have to

569
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 1: have both. How do you work life balance? It like

570
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 1: you needed help obviously right from the jump, because you're

571
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 1: to work. So I mean, we're in a total tragedy

572
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: right now because our nanny of nine years, who is

573
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 1: like a family and has had two kids while she's

574
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: been working for us, and they're like my kids siblings,

575
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: is moving. This is the last week I know. So

576
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 1: we're are you kid so sad? We're so sad. I know,

577
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 1: it's devastating. We're going to have to do that search.

578
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 1: Although that search, like Hannah and Mike have already been

579
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 1: like I want no one else ever, you know, we

580
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 1: also lost our dog this year, like sixteen years and

581
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 1: so and then they were also like, no more pets

582
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 1: ever again, no pet Like they're so attached and the

583
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 1: thought of the thought of moving some on to someone

584
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 1: else is just betrayal for them. Are they both in

585
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 1: school though? Like full time? That you don't really this

586
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 1: is sort of your opportunity to We moved down to

587
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 1: part time. Okay, got it? Got it yet? So you're

588
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 1: already down to part time? How we were down to

589
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 1: part time although during the summer and during COVID, like

590
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 1: she was here, she was here full time during COVID.

591
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 1: She was able to do all of the at home

592
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: learning for eighteen months like and she brought her babies

593
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 1: with her and everybody benefited. It's been like the little

594
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 1: village that we've gotten to have here has been incredible.

595
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 1: That's awesome, especially during COVID times when kids like to

596
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 1: have that socialization. Tell me about siblings to You're doing

597
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 1: a really good segue for me, because I have older

598
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: boy and a younger girl. What is that like? Because

599
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: I'm terrified. I grew up in a house where the

600
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 1: girl I'm the oldest and my brothers the youngest. So

601
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 1: we didn't really like fight. And my son is very

602
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:16,400
Speaker 1: physical and crazy with my daughter and that terrifies me.

603
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:19,439
Speaker 1: And also, how do you make sure they get along

604
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,800
Speaker 1: and treat each other with respect? Well, they're not gonna

605
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 1: get along and treat because they're siblings, you know. I mean,

606
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 1: it's so funny because they'll they'll have these incredible moments

607
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 1: where they're super angelic with one another, and you know,

608
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 1: I mean, they are one another's favorite person on the planet.

609
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 1: Obviously they love playing together, but they also like love fighting.

610
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: Mica loves to quietly pick at her until she explodes

611
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:55,800
Speaker 1: with emotion, and then she I think likes the feeling

612
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:59,359
Speaker 1: of the explosion. She's a lout like me, and and

613
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 1: he is the same thing that my brother did to me,

614
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 1: which is like pick quietly so that nobody knows what

615
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: you're saying, but like until she's like, oh good, you

616
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:14,240
Speaker 1: say that. But then she stays right next to him

617
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 1: while he continues to do it, and we keep saying,

618
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 1: just go, just move away. Is there any physical fighting?

619
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 1: Is there any fit wars there at a different time,

620
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,719
Speaker 1: and there there has been some, but we have such

621
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 1: strict policies on that. Tell me, how do I do

622
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 1: that one are the strict policies. I mean, it even

623
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 1: just happened the other day where he like created a

624
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:37,280
Speaker 1: weapon out of a racetrack and cardboard and duct tape

625
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 1: and just whacked her on the butt as she walked by.

626
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 1: And we're like done with that for I don't know

627
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 1: how long. That's probably going in the dumpster. Threatening to

628
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,360
Speaker 1: throw away the creations put them in the dumpster is

629
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 1: like a very big motivating factor. That's called logical consequences,

630
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:56,919
Speaker 1: where you take whatever it is that's being currently used

631
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 1: as a weapon or whatever. And my son sometimes does

632
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 1: have anything, but he'll like, you know, like push her

633
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 1: at you know, she'll she just started walking, so now

634
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 1: she can like actually go towards the toys that he's

635
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 1: currently playing with, and he likes to push her away

636
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 1: or like, mom, she's coming through my stuff and like

637
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,240
Speaker 1: a really hard or so then I say, up, okay,

638
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 1: then you're not allowed to play with your sister anymore,

639
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna pick her up and I'm going to

640
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 1: remove her to her room across the hall, because if

641
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 1: you can't treat her body nicely, then you can't play

642
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 1: with her. And then he's like I like this is impossible,

643
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:33,560
Speaker 1: and I'm exhausted, and everyone just get out of my face. Obviously,

644
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 1: they go through stages, for sure. I've gotten to the

645
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 1: point though, where there are times where I'm just like,

646
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 1: you guys, work it out. You know, you only have

647
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 1: one another to play with today, but there's nobody else.

648
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,759
Speaker 1: There's nobody else, there's nobody else to hang out with.

649
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 1: So unless you want to just be miserable and lonely,

650
00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 1: work it out. And we have a very big thing

651
00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 1: on making peace. Like I had a friend UM tell

652
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,359
Speaker 1: me about. Instead of saying no, you don't do that,

653
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 1: you and and go apologize, you say, go check in

654
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 1: on her, make sure she's okay, because what you just

655
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 1: did with your body hurt her body. Can you go

656
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,240
Speaker 1: check in on her? And it's just that step forward

657
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 1: without feeling that like I'm bad and I did something wrong.

658
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:23,439
Speaker 1: It's I think spurs on just the empathy bone. Yeah,

659
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: I tried it. That's really good. I try. She'll make

660
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,120
Speaker 1: a sound of like, oh hey, you hear that. It

661
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 1: sounds like she's really not enjoying how you're touching her, right, Yeah,

662
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 1: it sounds like she's making it known that she's not happy.

663
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 1: That's a really good I'm practicing on you. You see that?

664
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 1: Can you check in and see how sisters doing and

665
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:42,760
Speaker 1: see how she's feeling. I don't think you're right, Okay,

666
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 1: this is very helpful. So Mica has now gotten to

667
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,440
Speaker 1: the point where like it's something if they're playing or

668
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 1: whatever and he does end up whacking her and it's

669
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 1: an accident. He's like, oh, oh, han, are you okay?

670
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 1: And then he runs agains her an ice pack and

671
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 1: brings it to her, Like there's like those little things

672
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 1: or really go that we started doing, like go check

673
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 1: in on her and see if she needs anything. If

674
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 1: she needs does she need an ice pack? Why don't

675
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 1: you go get her an ice bag? So then and

676
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:10,879
Speaker 1: then after that there's like a we can't be at

677
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: peace and we can't be at harmony in our family

678
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:16,320
Speaker 1: until you've made peace with her and making and making

679
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 1: and we don't go to bed until we've all made peace.

680
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 1: Like sometimes you know, we have fights with them too,

681
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:23,880
Speaker 1: and so it's like make you got we got we

682
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 1: gotta come together, we gotta sit down and have a conversation.

683
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,839
Speaker 1: Figure out this is they're older though, this is once

684
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 1: they're old. Yeah, I'm literally only quiet because I was like,

685
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 1: oh right, I'm like in my head and like, oh peace,

686
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:38,839
Speaker 1: that's good. Like I just take that. I like that's

687
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 1: the thing that I've done with Peter, like our entire relationships,

688
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 1: like never let the sun go down on your anger,

689
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:48,280
Speaker 1: so you always all you know there if there's anything sitting,

690
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,839
Speaker 1: you stay up until however late you need to stay

691
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 1: up and get to a place at peace. Well that

692
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:56,280
Speaker 1: I don't like either. I'm like, I am so tired

693
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,840
Speaker 1: it's you. And my husband is such a negotiator and

694
00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 1: a talker, like he'll want to talk something through until

695
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 1: it's fucking dead. But okay, tell me this is the

696
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:12,439
Speaker 1: other thing. You and your husband are religious and you

697
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 1: how do you instill that in your children? Like was

698
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:17,719
Speaker 1: it such an easy thing because you were raised your

699
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 1: dad as a pastor, so obviously that was how you

700
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:24,360
Speaker 1: were raised, is it? Do you are you finding yourself

701
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:30,240
Speaker 1: raising your children with similar values or they very different? Um,

702
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 1: talk to me about that. Yeah, I mean, like my

703
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 1: faith journey has evolved significantly since when you were a kid,

704
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 1: when I was a kid, and and same with Peters

705
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 1: and so like we've never forced anything on them. They

706
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 1: do have to come to church with us on Sundays,

707
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:49,680
Speaker 1: that's the thing. But they can bring books and they

708
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:51,839
Speaker 1: read and you know, they have friends that they love

709
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 1: to play with. They always make a think about it,

710
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,840
Speaker 1: but then they love playing with the friends and eating donuts,

711
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 1: so you know, and it's something to do and like

712
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 1: wonderful and you feel connected. Yeah, and it's interesting. I've

713
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 1: had a lot of My son is like an extremely analytical,

714
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 1: deep thinker and feeler. And if he's mad and he

715
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 1: wants to make me, like wants to hurt me because

716
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 1: he's mad at me about something, he'll be like, God

717
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 1: doesn't even exist, He's just a dumb guy in the skies.

718
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 1: Then why are you even believing him? You know? And

719
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 1: and and children are children are amazing push the buttons.

720
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 1: But but he had, especially during COVID, some very big, deep,

721
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 1: hard times of just wrestling with like what is happening

722
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 1: in the world? What are we doing here? Why? Why?

723
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 1: Does it must have really felt that we all were

724
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 1: feeling that we were all Ye, that's the thing is

725
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 1: he was able to articulate all the things that we

726
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:54,279
Speaker 1: adults were all feeling. But he's able to He's been

727
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 1: always been able to articulate, very complicated emotions, and so

728
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 1: you know, he'd be like, I'm so sad right now

729
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:05,719
Speaker 1: because there's nothing to look forward to. And if I

730
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:07,800
Speaker 1: don't have something to look forward to, then what is

731
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: the point? You know, Like, yeah, that feels. Yeah, you

732
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:17,319
Speaker 1: hit the nail on the head, buddy, Like we're all

733
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,839
Speaker 1: feeling that is sitting in our house and it's the

734
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 1: same every day and we can't go do stuff, and like,

735
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 1: looking forward to something is a lot of what brings

736
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 1: us joy in life, and this is hard for that reason,

737
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 1: among many does he ask you had a lot of

738
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 1: analytical questions of like who is God? And you're like,

739
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 1: this is what I believe, and like yes, and and

740
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 1: because Peter teaches comparative religion, he's like, I mean, there

741
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 1: are lots of different faith traditions, and so we've talked

742
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 1: very openly about how not everybody believes this, this is

743
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 1: what this is the this is what we believe, and

744
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 1: it's really it's going to be your own journey to

745
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 1: kind of walk through it and find how you want

746
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 1: to engage with the world. But but it is interesting

747
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 1: seeing some of the things that crap up, Like he'll

748
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 1: have these big deep questions about it and be like

749
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:09,920
Speaker 1: and at one point he we had this heartbreaking he

750
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 1: just was in a moment, in a very sad moment

751
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,720
Speaker 1: during COVID and and at one point he just goes,

752
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:21,400
Speaker 1: I just need some evidence. I just need some hard evidence.

753
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 1: If you could give me some hard evidence about the

754
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:29,319
Speaker 1: existence of God, then maybe I could see your point

755
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 1: of view. Like weeping while saying this to me, But

756
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: what a gift. This is why this kid is your kid? Yeah,

757
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Like they say, you know,

758
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 1: we've had chef Tali Savari on this podcast that she

759
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 1: wrote this book called The Conscious Parent, and you know

760
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: her big thing is like, you know, you're you're gifted

761
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 1: the kid that's made to bring you to higher levels

762
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 1: of consciousness, like and like like you nailed me. Number

763
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:57,320
Speaker 1: nine angiogram hate conflict. My son is a confrit flicked lover.

764
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:02,840
Speaker 1: He loved really he runs towards the fire and the flames,

765
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 1: loves to create it on his own. And I'm forced

766
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 1: to look at that ship every fucking day. I'm the

767
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:12,240
Speaker 1: mom on the on the thing with the kid hitting

768
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 1: the other kid and biting. That's my kid, and I

769
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 1: have to let all my people pleasing. Yes, Like you

770
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:23,320
Speaker 1: have someone sitting down being like I want to talk

771
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 1: about every single thing. You guys believe in daddy who

772
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 1: studied comparative religion and has a PhD. And you're like,

773
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 1: holy shit, wow, Like this kid is a critical thinker,

774
00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 1: Like he's very very critical thinker. But the funny thing

775
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 1: is if he can't sleep because he's scared or he's

776
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 1: having a nightmare, the only thing that comes down him

777
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,719
Speaker 1: down is if I come in and pray for him.

778
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 1: So it's so funny. It's like he has these very deep,

779
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 1: like epic conversations about is this true? Is this not?

780
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. If I can't touch it, how can

781
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:00,960
Speaker 1: I believe? But he also loves it, loves transition or

782
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: loves the safety and the Yeah, there's something about like

783
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 1: if I feel afraid, I want I want to believe

784
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 1: that God is there and God will hear my prayer

785
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:16,360
Speaker 1: and God will be with me. And meanwhile, Hannah, Hannah's

786
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 1: like a big insult. She likes to lob it Mico

787
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 1: when he's being a pill toward hers. Well, you don't

788
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 1: even believe in Santa, our God. Unbelievable. I feel like

789
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 1: you're doing a very, very great job at raising your children.

790
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 1: I really feel that. I think you're so grounded and

791
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 1: smart and like progressive and also have such a wonderful

792
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 1: value system, and I just feel like I'm a floundering

793
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:50,879
Speaker 1: idiot and you're not. This is the thing about parenthood

794
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 1: is that most of the time you feel like a

795
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 1: floundering idiot, and then you have like a moment where

796
00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:00,839
Speaker 1: you're like, I nailed that mom moment. I did a

797
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 1: good job, I said, I had a great conversation after

798
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:11,240
Speaker 1: I exploded. Yes, it's called repairs. The repairs are big repair.

799
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 1: All about the repairs. We have learned that Katie's Crib

800
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:16,680
Speaker 1: from Dr Dan Siegel. It's all about if you have

801
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 1: any sort of what is it called any flare up

802
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 1: or anything like that, It's all about the repair. It's

803
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 1: the number one therapist has always said. And I go

804
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 1: back to that all the time. And I've had some

805
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 1: amazing conversations with my kids from a place of utter humility,

806
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 1: just like from like I yelled loudly and I got

807
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 1: so mad and I reacted. I had such a bad

808
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 1: reaction to that. And let me tell you where that

809
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 1: came from, because it wasn't about you. It was about

810
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:48,360
Speaker 1: these other things. And then I took it out on

811
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 1: you and that was not okay for me to do,

812
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 1: and I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me? And then

813
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:56,400
Speaker 1: and then and then like also just in I'm noticing

814
00:45:56,440 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 1: that when I'm able to track through the journey of

815
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 1: of what got me to that place where I was reactive,

816
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:07,239
Speaker 1: and I can say those words out loud to them,

817
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 1: they've now kind of learned that skill, so I can

818
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 1: have that conversation with them. So Hannah will be like, well,

819
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 1: she'll track through. I got so mad at this moment,

820
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,839
Speaker 1: but then when your voice got stern, it made me

821
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 1: nervous about this other thing, and so then I got

822
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 1: even more upset. And then when I got even more upset,

823
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,959
Speaker 1: I got nervous that my that my tears wouldn't stop

824
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 1: when I saw my friends, and then I'd feel embarrassed,

825
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:35,240
Speaker 1: like she literally like took the journey about every twist

826
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 1: and turn of the big tantrum that she had and

827
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 1: where it landed, and that's why she was feeling that way.

828
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I totally get it. I would feel

829
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:48,880
Speaker 1: that way too. That's so great. Is there any last

830
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 1: piece of advice before we jump off. Last piece of advice. Okay, um,

831
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 1: I would say, make sure that you are doing life

832
00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 1: with other parents while you're trying to do this thing. Um,

833
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 1: and parents that you trust and that like are not

834
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:07,480
Speaker 1: the not the judge kinds, but the ones that will

835
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 1: speak good truth, you know, to you and and and

836
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 1: be like, hey, this worked for me. You want to

837
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:14,239
Speaker 1: try that. Oh my gosh, my kid is going my

838
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:17,440
Speaker 1: kid is doing the biting thing too, Like let's let's

839
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,239
Speaker 1: talk about it. By the way, that doesn't mean you're

840
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 1: a failure. And these are the steps that I took,

841
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:24,239
Speaker 1: and this is what happened, you know. So I just

842
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:28,240
Speaker 1: think trying to parent in isolation, just with your partner

843
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:32,560
Speaker 1: is just a recipe for death. Just utter. We're supposed

844
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 1: to be doing this with appos, be doing it in

845
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:36,720
Speaker 1: a village. We're supposed to be doing it in a village.

846
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,200
Speaker 1: And then the other thing, and we just talked about

847
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:42,359
Speaker 1: this is repair is like that's the biggest thing. I

848
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 1: think so many kids and adults now are in therapy

849
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:50,879
Speaker 1: because their parents never apologize to them, like they never

850
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,719
Speaker 1: parents kind of thought that they had to be this like, well,

851
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:56,560
Speaker 1: I'm the voice of authority, and so what I say

852
00:47:56,719 --> 00:47:59,440
Speaker 1: is and I'm always right, you know. And I think

853
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:02,879
Speaker 1: we're in a generation now where parents are learning like, oh,

854
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:05,279
Speaker 1: you know what, I really messed up earlier today, Like

855
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:07,839
Speaker 1: I yelled at you and exploded when I that wasn't

856
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:10,279
Speaker 1: about you, is about something else, and I used my

857
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:13,319
Speaker 1: loud voice and I really sorry, I did that exactly,

858
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:15,839
Speaker 1: And then you move on and the kid also learned

859
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:19,359
Speaker 1: to apologize. The kids to apologize, then they know how

860
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 1: then they You've given them the skill of taking responsibility

861
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:25,320
Speaker 1: for their actions so that they go out into the

862
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:27,919
Speaker 1: world and they're not total assholes, which is what we're

863
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:30,279
Speaker 1: trying to do on Katie's crib. We just don't want

864
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:33,880
Speaker 1: to put more assholes into the No more assholes, now assholes,

865
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 1: Sarah Drew. It is a pleasure and honor a dream.

866
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 1: We need to have you back on your such a

867
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 1: cool mom, and my god, our listeners are gonna be

868
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 1: so happy that you are here, Like I just and

869
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 1: I feel like you're just You're I need to hear

870
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:51,360
Speaker 1: everything you're doing because your kids are like ten and seven,

871
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 1: and I feel like it's going to get better. It is,

872
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:56,719
Speaker 1: I think so no you're still in the weeds. Man,

873
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 1: You're in the weeds your youngest. You're in the weeds

874
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:03,680
Speaker 1: until your youngest is like four. A kind of intense.

875
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:07,800
Speaker 1: The fucking fours, I like to call them. The fucking

876
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,439
Speaker 1: fours are so fucked up. It's so hard. Much worse

877
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 1: than the Terrible twos. I agree. I agree. Thank you

878
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:22,759
Speaker 1: guys so much for listening to today's episode. I want

879
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 1: to hear from you. Let's chat questions, comments, concerns. Let

880
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:29,960
Speaker 1: me know. You can always find me at Katie's Crib

881
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 1: at Shonda land dot com. Katie's Crib is a production

882
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 1: of Shonda Land Audio in partnership with I heart Radio.

883
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:40,799
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from Shonda Land Audio, visit the I

884
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:43,560
Speaker 1: Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

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00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:44,400
Speaker 1: your favorite shows.