1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,759 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John, your og Okay 2 00:00:02,759 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories coming up. 3 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 1: Before that, we have a quick two minute break from 4 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:08,799 Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show a lot. 5 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:12,639 Speaker 2: I told my friend their ex can't move in with us, 6 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:13,400 Speaker 2: and she. 7 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 3: Blew up, well, you gotta be on the lease if 8 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 3: you're gonna move in. 9 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:21,440 Speaker 2: For some context, a close friend and I have been 10 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 2: planning to move to another state for about a year now. 11 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 2: We've been working hard to be financially comfortable enough to 12 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 2: move in early December. 13 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 3: Okay. 14 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 4: By the way, this. 15 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 2: Comes from username paper Crowns three two three, and if 16 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to our 17 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 2: slash Okay story Time subreddit. I'm Vincent, I'm Riley, I'm Keon, 18 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 2: and we're here to give good advice goofully, But we 19 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we 20 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,519 Speaker 2: would do, so let us know what you do in 21 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 2: the comments. As Opie says, now, my friend has an 22 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 2: ex girlfriend who has been living with them in their parents' house. 23 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 2: When we originally made plans, she was going to move 24 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,640 Speaker 2: back to her own parents' house. However, plans have been changed. 25 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 2: According to my friend. The ex's parents cannot afford to 26 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 2: take her in again and have requested that she be 27 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 2: able to move in with us until she can get situated. 28 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 2: Oh no, this is where the problem lies. Yes, that 29 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 2: is a problem. This ex girlfriend, while I have not 30 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 2: met her in real life, does not sound like the 31 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 2: kind of person I want to live with, nor do 32 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 2: I want my friend to live with any longer. She 33 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 2: does not have a job and has not had a 34 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 2: job for the entirety. The X doesn't have a car 35 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 2: and can't drive. Your friend has to drive her everywhere 36 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,760 Speaker 2: she needs to go. She smokes the devil's lettuce, which 37 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 2: I don't personally care about, but the smell gives me 38 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 2: my grains. She does nothing except layer around in their 39 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 2: shared bedroom all day, and also doesn't have the best 40 00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 2: personal hygiene. So in short, no job, can't drive, smells bad, 41 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 2: not super appealing. Again, I have never met the girl, 42 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,600 Speaker 2: and all of this information comes from my friends venting 43 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 2: sessions and passing conversation. The information might be slightly embellished, 44 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 2: but the complaints are common enough that they have to 45 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 2: come from somewhere right. I feel bad for opposing the 46 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 2: idea because I can see that she is struggling with 47 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 2: mental health. Oh, I too have problems with personal hygiene 48 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 2: and the like when I'm in a bad place. But 49 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 2: as a person who struggles with mental health issues myself, 50 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,480 Speaker 2: I believe you still have to be responsible for yourself 51 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:40,920 Speaker 2: and your actions. 52 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 3: I agree it's on that that's your responsibility. 53 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, you need to do the work to help yourself 54 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:48,799 Speaker 2: out of the hole that you. 55 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 5: May be in. 56 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 2: All right, even if you have to work harder for it. 57 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 2: As nice as it would be to lay around all 58 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 2: day and have someone else take care of everything for me, 59 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,880 Speaker 2: it's unrealistic. I also feel bad for my friend who 60 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 2: has been financing oh I think this lifestyle for who. 61 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 5: Knows how long. 62 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 2: Why it's not fair to them to be worried about 63 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 2: paying bills for two when half of the equation doesn't 64 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 2: contribute at all. Seriously, she's only just now applying for jobs. 65 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:19,959 Speaker 3: What is the situation? 66 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:24,240 Speaker 5: Yeah, I ah gosh, oh boy. 67 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 2: I worry that when she moves in with us, it 68 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 2: won't be a temporary thing and both of us will 69 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 2: be stuck enabling her lifestyle. 70 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 5: Plus, part of the appeal to. 71 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 2: Finally moving out is that I will be away from 72 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 2: my toxic household, and I feel like if she comes 73 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 2: with us, the toxicity is only going to follow, just 74 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 2: in a different flavor. I'm with you on this one, 75 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 2: But my friend says that she has no other options 76 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 2: and has no one else to stay with. I don't 77 00:03:56,200 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 2: want to be the reason somebody is homeless. Yeah, so 78 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 2: would I be the a hole if I said she 79 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 2: can't move in with us? 80 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 3: I mean, I think you're saving yourself a lot of hassle. 81 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 2: Also, like moving away from a toxic household, moving this 82 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 2: is your chance to do some self actualizing. 83 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 5: On your own. 84 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 2: So bet be independent, Be independent, And I totally get 85 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 2: where you're coming from. You don't want someone latching on 86 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 2: who's just gonna. 87 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:23,040 Speaker 5: Pull you down. 88 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:24,720 Speaker 3: No, No, it's like crabs in a bugget. Have you 89 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:25,599 Speaker 3: seen crabs and bugget? 90 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 5: Crabs and bucket? 91 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 2: I saw a play called Crabs in the Bucket, but 92 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 2: I know the saying behind it. 93 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, they'll drag you down, they'll drag you down. 94 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,160 Speaker 2: Yeah all right, Edit edit because I didn't really think 95 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,280 Speaker 2: this gets so much tension. I really appreciate everyone's input 96 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 2: and advice. One thing I want to clarify real quick. 97 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 2: My friend is a very sweet person. 98 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 5: We can tell, we can tell they're even putting up 99 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 5: with this. 100 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 2: Give a lot yeah, yeah, who has a lot of 101 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,120 Speaker 2: love to give and unfortunately it's. 102 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:51,599 Speaker 5: To a fault. 103 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:56,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, not to completely excuse them, because I totally agree 104 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 2: that they have been enabling the X, but to shed 105 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 2: some light, I really do think they know the X 106 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 2: is a problem. They just don't know how to let go. Okay, 107 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,839 Speaker 2: and we have an update from eleven days later. 108 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 3: But what do you think you know, sometimes people are 109 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,159 Speaker 3: in situations they don't understand that letting go over person 110 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 3: is an option. 111 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 6: M hm. 112 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 2: Or sometimes I was just talking to someone about this today, 113 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 2: like someone going through a breakup, if they have like 114 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 2: a savior complex, Oh that like feeling responsible for a 115 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 2: person may give them, Like if they have a lot 116 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 2: of love to give their caretaker, that might be this 117 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 2: sort of like self fulfilling, Like this gives me purpose. Yeah, 118 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,839 Speaker 2: before I need to do this. But people, you're not 119 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,719 Speaker 2: going to change people. They have to do that on 120 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,200 Speaker 2: their own. 121 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, agreed, agreed, all right. 122 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:48,720 Speaker 2: Update eleven days later. Oh my gosh, some people were 123 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:52,160 Speaker 2: asking for an update. And now that everything is more 124 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,159 Speaker 2: or less resolved, Okay, I can finally give it. With 125 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 2: the advice of the thread site and some other people 126 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:01,279 Speaker 2: in my life, I let my friend know that I 127 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,840 Speaker 2: would not be living with the X for any. 128 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,479 Speaker 5: Period of time. Oh good, good, good, way to stand 129 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 5: your ground. 130 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,159 Speaker 3: Yeah, because once you let her in, she's never gonna leave. 131 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 7: Hmm. 132 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,000 Speaker 2: No, of course. This is the same night my friend's 133 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 2: parents split. Whoa okay, Okay, So that adds another layer. 134 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 2: So I told my friend they could wait on giving 135 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 2: me an answer. A couple of days went by. 136 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,280 Speaker 3: Oh, you're gonna move in together, and they're like, oh, 137 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:31,359 Speaker 3: should we do it or not? Okay, so they're like, 138 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 3: you can take a beat. 139 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 5: You take a beat. 140 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,920 Speaker 2: Your parents are going through a moment. Wow, I'm sorry 141 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 2: for your friend. 142 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:39,919 Speaker 5: Again. They seem like a sweet person. They have all 143 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 5: this stuff happening to them. 144 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 2: A couple of days went by and the topic wasn't 145 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 2: really revisited on its own, so I brought it up, like, Hey, 146 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,920 Speaker 2: we're getting really close to our planned move date. What 147 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,840 Speaker 2: are we gonna do? My friend asked if I would 148 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 2: be willing to meet with the X because they wanted 149 00:06:56,440 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 2: her to explain her situation since they felt they weren't 150 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 2: doing an adequate job of it. At this point, nothing 151 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:06,000 Speaker 2: this girl says to me was going to change my mind, 152 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,240 Speaker 2: but I want to at least put in an observable 153 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 2: effort to be understanding. Was it necessary? People have told 154 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 2: me no, But oh well. I told my friend that 155 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 2: I was available that weekend, and they suggested that we 156 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 2: get launch at the mall. I needed to do some 157 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 2: Christmas shopping for my family, so I agreed. Oh, two birds, 158 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 2: one stone, and went in with the assumption that we 159 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 2: would be having a serious conversation about everything. We met 160 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 2: at the mall, and instantly this girl was rubbing me 161 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 2: the wrong way. She look me in the face, clinging 162 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 2: to or hiding behind my friend, barely interacting with me. 163 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 2: At first, I figured it was because we just met, 164 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 2: so I brushed it off. For the first few stores. 165 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 2: It didn't get better, though. I was essentially leading the 166 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 2: pack while my friend whispered to and soothe this girl 167 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 2: like she was a spooked horse. 168 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 5: Oho way there, Hey there, girl, Hey. 169 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 6: Give her care, give her a care it you'd be alright. 170 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 5: Give it, give her a care. 171 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 2: Maybe them all on the weekend wasn't the best choice 172 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 2: for this, but I wasn't the one who made the 173 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 2: choice of the venue, So I just tried to be 174 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 2: open and friendly. I have been told that I am 175 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 2: the least intimidating person that some people know, and I 176 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 2: have also been told that I am so friendly it 177 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 2: can be intimidating. So I was trying to go for 178 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 2: a middle ground here and I got nothing. She just 179 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 2: wouldn't interact with me. My friend pulled me aside and 180 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:35,080 Speaker 2: legitimately asked, how can I make her interact more with you? 181 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 2: You can, that's up to her. She's too scared to 182 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:42,080 Speaker 2: talk to you. Like dude, I don't know. I told 183 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,240 Speaker 2: him that I was doing my best to be inviting, 184 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 2: but I can't make her interact with me. 185 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a two way streak. 186 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 2: Opie's doing as much as they can and this person 187 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 2: is just not coming to. 188 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 5: Meet to meet them, not at all. It was like 189 00:08:59,440 --> 00:08:59,680 Speaker 5: this the. 190 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 2: Whole I led everyone around the mall, picking stores and 191 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 2: shopping around while they frequently had to break off and 192 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 2: have conversations without me. We finally sat down to eat 193 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,680 Speaker 2: and this girl told me I was really chatty. I 194 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,959 Speaker 2: carried the conversation for you. Of course I'm chatty. 195 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 3: We're gonna sit here in silence. 196 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 4: Yeah. 197 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 2: I thought we were going to have a serious talk 198 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 2: when we sat down for lunch, but it never happened. 199 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 2: When I got a second alone with my friend, I 200 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 2: asked what was up and when we should discuss things, 201 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 2: to which my friend said, oh, she's too overwhelmed. I'll 202 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 2: have to gauge how she's feeling tonight and we can 203 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 2: plan it. 204 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:39,239 Speaker 3: Then, Oh my gosh. 205 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 2: My immediate thought was, heck, no, I'm not doing this again. 206 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:47,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, real people says. It seems like she 207 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 3: knows what she's doing. She's manipulating the friend to keep 208 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:51,840 Speaker 3: the situation the way it is. 209 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 5: Mm hmm. 210 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, because bringing all the nose, because it sounds like 211 00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:00,440 Speaker 2: they might have isolated your friend, yeah, and have this 212 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:05,679 Speaker 2: good thing going for them. And yeah, it's not good, okay, 213 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 2: because it felt like we'd be walking on eggshells all 214 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 2: day catering to this girl, and I hate that feeling. 215 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 2: So I flat out told my friend this is not 216 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,680 Speaker 2: going to work. If she's too scared to look at me, 217 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 2: how does she expect to live together like this? My 218 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:24,080 Speaker 2: friend said, I had a good point, but the X 219 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 2: was shutting down, so we called it to day. I 220 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 2: texted my friend after and was like, look, you're my 221 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,440 Speaker 2: best friend, but clearly things have changed in ways we 222 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:38,079 Speaker 2: did not anticipate. I won't live with her. I need 223 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,280 Speaker 2: to know if you're coming with me or not. 224 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,319 Speaker 5: Ooh an ultimatum. 225 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,760 Speaker 4: M m. Yeah. 226 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,559 Speaker 3: I'm not a big fan of ultimatums. I would count 227 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 3: this person out. I wouldn't take I wouldn't live with 228 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 3: this person because we know who they come with and 229 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:53,839 Speaker 3: I just wouldn't want to deal with that. 230 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 2: And because I know it's the best thing for your 231 00:10:56,720 --> 00:11:00,720 Speaker 2: friend if they leave this person behind. But if your 232 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 2: friend's in a tough situation, it's going to take a. 233 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,680 Speaker 3: While for them to realize that. Mm hmmm, yeah, just 234 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 3: figure out another living situation. Yeah, let them figure it 235 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 3: out on their own. 236 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 2: Dude, whatever you do, Yeah, don't move in with this person. 237 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 3: If they ask, you can give them advice. I'm not 238 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 3: a big fan of od solicit advice. It's just if 239 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,559 Speaker 3: you're asking, I'll give to you. 240 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, obviously in a nicer way, but that was the 241 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 2: gist of it. I gave my friend line to respond 242 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 2: by and I waited. My friend ultimately decided that they 243 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,680 Speaker 2: aren't in a position to move with their parents splitting 244 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 2: and also wanted to take care of the ex girlfriend. 245 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 2: I said, all right, and I'd be willing to revisit 246 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 2: our plans at a future date. So now I'm searching 247 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:48,559 Speaker 2: for roommates and replace again. I thought my friend. Honestly, 248 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,400 Speaker 2: I thought my friend was going to drop the ex 249 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 2: at first, but I realized that was wishful thinking once 250 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,839 Speaker 2: they asked me to meet her. Yes, there's another relevant update, but. 251 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 3: First tell them what you see. If they ask FINDO 252 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 3: the situation to live in this is this is so weird. 253 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 4: I don't like this, and I don't know. 254 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:10,120 Speaker 7: I wouldn't have given them the hopeful like, yeah, we 255 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,800 Speaker 7: can bring this up in the future again, right, No, 256 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,719 Speaker 7: I would like, all right, that's it, and don't give 257 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 7: them that glimmer of pocus. They're gonna take that and like, 258 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 7: all right, cool, they're gonna hang on to it. Yeah, 259 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:20,320 Speaker 7: they're gonna hang on to it. 260 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,080 Speaker 2: I mean I might disagree with that, like, hey, we 261 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,640 Speaker 2: can live together once you figure out how to offload 262 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:29,559 Speaker 2: this X, you know, or still the choice of your 263 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 2: ex over their friend. 264 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:35,160 Speaker 3: And I think the answers no for the season, because yeah, 265 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 3: what this person's going through in a new season. Things 266 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,520 Speaker 3: are different, circumstances have changed. 267 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:44,679 Speaker 2: Perhaps I know, all right, there's an update, Okay, all right. 268 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:48,120 Speaker 2: I felt kind of like a toxic X insisting that 269 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,679 Speaker 2: they choose her or me. But sadly that's kind of 270 00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:55,480 Speaker 2: what it boiled down to. Sucks, but I feel like 271 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:58,559 Speaker 2: things should have ended a lot worse. 272 00:12:59,000 --> 00:12:59,440 Speaker 5: Anyway. 273 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,440 Speaker 2: Wish me luck on finding a place and some roommates 274 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,640 Speaker 2: because I'm still moving at the end of the year. 275 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,200 Speaker 2: Major wrench in my plans or not. 276 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 5: That's good. Yeah, don't let us stop you. 277 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 2: Thank you for all the input and advice on my 278 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 2: last post. By the way, it was very helpful. Hope 279 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 2: your day goes better than my past week has. 280 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,120 Speaker 3: But guys, I see it. 281 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 6: My father's new wife cut us out of his life 282 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,960 Speaker 6: and lied about our existence. 283 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,440 Speaker 8: Well, I never want to see her again. 284 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,840 Speaker 6: And we do a trigger warning four mentions of abuse. 285 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 6: My dad married a woman twenty eight days before he 286 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 6: passed away of camp oh. He refused to update his 287 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:40,120 Speaker 6: will after my mother passed away, and my sister and 288 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 6: I basically got disinherited. We went to corr and had 289 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:47,080 Speaker 6: a legal agreement to split the assets from selling his business, 290 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,839 Speaker 6: but she didn't follow through. By the way, this comes 291 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:53,679 Speaker 6: from Zealous Ideal Fix sixty five ninety seven and if 292 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:55,599 Speaker 6: you want usubmit your own stories, go to the r 293 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:57,199 Speaker 6: slash okay story times sub Breddit. 294 00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 8: I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, and we're here. 295 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 6: To give good advice goofully, but we don't have all 296 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 6: the answers. Me only know what we would do, So 297 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 6: let us know what you would do in the comments 298 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 6: and opisas after everything we went through, I reported the 299 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,200 Speaker 6: woman to the state for being in a different tax 300 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,080 Speaker 6: bracket which had previously allowed her kids to go to 301 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,720 Speaker 6: college for free. Petty, yes, and honestly in a whole move. 302 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 8: But I don't care. 303 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 6: This all started with my mother's passing eleven years ago, 304 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 6: followed by my father's passing five years later. 305 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 8: Every year I'm. 306 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,560 Speaker 6: Drawn back to the heck that followed my father's passing. 307 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,640 Speaker 6: At my therapist suggestion, I'm writing it out. I told 308 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,360 Speaker 6: this story recently and someone said I ended up ruining 309 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 6: other people's lives and should have let it all go. 310 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:43,560 Speaker 6: As a woman from a family of grudshoulders, I disagree, 311 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 6: but we shall see what you all think. Here are 312 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:50,480 Speaker 6: the main characters myself, thirty two female. One older sibling 313 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 6: will call her be our dad Joe, our mom Cindy, 314 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,680 Speaker 6: and the usurper we'll call her Karen. My parents owned 315 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,880 Speaker 6: and operated their own busin business since their twenties. As 316 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,600 Speaker 6: children through our college years, B and I were expected 317 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,000 Speaker 6: to help out whenever we could. The business was in 318 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,560 Speaker 6: a different state in a tiny community with maybe one 319 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 6: thousand people. Our parents commuted over an hour each way daily. 320 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 6: In the beginning, they worked seven days a week and 321 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 6: were barely getting by, but we were generally happy. Fast 322 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,920 Speaker 6: forward to when I was in high school and B 323 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:26,400 Speaker 6: was in college, the business had grown and become quite successful. 324 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 6: My mom worked multiple side jobs during the early years 325 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 6: to help bring in more money, and started an investment 326 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,800 Speaker 6: account of her own, which she always said she was 327 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:39,480 Speaker 6: unbelievably proud of. This comes up again later. The business 328 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,280 Speaker 6: was doing so well that my parents decided to hire 329 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 6: an employee, enter Karen. Karen was about five or six 330 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 6: years younger than my parents and worked with them for 331 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 6: about four years before being let go. Our mom always 332 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,320 Speaker 6: said that she made lots of mistakes and doubled her work, 333 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 6: but our dad thought she contributed enough. Karen and our 334 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:01,360 Speaker 6: mom kept in touch. Since the town was so small 335 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,720 Speaker 6: and in a pinch, Karen would. 336 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 8: Help out at their office. 337 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,400 Speaker 6: When I was twenty, I moved across the country for 338 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 6: postgraduate studies and Be had just gotten married. Within four 339 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 6: months of my move, we were told our mother had 340 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 6: Stage four camp. Within five months, our mother passed. This 341 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 6: was naturally devastating for all of us. My sister and 342 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 6: I tried to communicate more, we never really got along before. 343 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 6: I stopped traveling home as much, and both of us 344 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 6: focused on our careers and, in Bee's case, her growing family. 345 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,920 Speaker 6: Growing up, it was ingrained in us that the only 346 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,040 Speaker 6: type of work is hard work, and that we should 347 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 6: put all our efforts into our work lives to be successful. 348 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:42,160 Speaker 6: This is not healthy, we know, but it comes into 349 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 6: play later. Our father became obsessed with not letting either 350 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 6: of us back into our childhood home. If we were 351 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 6: allowed back, we were never allowed to go through our 352 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,600 Speaker 6: mom's belongings or take anything with us. After two years, 353 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,920 Speaker 6: we finally convinced our dad to let us go through 354 00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 6: our mom's things and, with his approval, decide how her 355 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 6: jewelry and nick knacks would be divided between the three 356 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,159 Speaker 6: of us. This was something our mother had told us 357 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,160 Speaker 6: to do prior to her passing. We mostly sorted things 358 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 6: for charity donations and helped our dad make a list 359 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,159 Speaker 6: of her items and how he wanted them stored. I 360 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 6: want to stress that we weren't trying to take everything 361 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,520 Speaker 6: our mom owned and leave Dad alone with nothing. We 362 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:25,600 Speaker 6: mostly wanted sentimental items that Dad never used or looked at, 363 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,080 Speaker 6: but that meant a lot to us. We couldn't even 364 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,639 Speaker 6: take our own things that our parents had stored in 365 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,479 Speaker 6: their basement. As time went on, our dad continued to 366 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 6: gate keep our childhood home and didn't want us to 367 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:40,160 Speaker 6: visit him there. We always had to meet elsewhere. Sometime 368 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:45,320 Speaker 6: after our mother's passing, our dad started dating Karen Oh. 369 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:49,800 Speaker 6: He only told us three years later when I called 370 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,000 Speaker 6: and he was on a date. Be and I were supportive. 371 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:54,560 Speaker 6: We knew our mom wouldn't want him to be alone forever. 372 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,719 Speaker 6: At the time, we didn't even mind Karen. We invited 373 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,399 Speaker 6: Karen and her children to family get togethers and on 374 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 6: our group chats. My sister's child, who never got to 375 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:06,920 Speaker 6: meet our mother, even called her grandma Karen. About four 376 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,080 Speaker 6: years after our mom passed, our dad got the news 377 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,680 Speaker 6: that he too had stage. 378 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,080 Speaker 8: Four Kida dang no. 379 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:18,200 Speaker 6: We were all in shock and left scrambling for answers. 380 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,359 Speaker 6: Unlike our mom, our dad's fight with cancer lasted roughly 381 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,920 Speaker 6: a year and a half before he two passed. This 382 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 6: is where it all goes wrong. After our mother's passing, 383 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,640 Speaker 6: we had reminded our dad to update their will when 384 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 6: she passed. All of her investment accounts and life insurance 385 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,680 Speaker 6: policies went to him as they should have. On her 386 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 6: passing bed, our mother told us, with him present, that 387 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:44,760 Speaker 6: she wanted her investment account divided between me and myself 388 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,960 Speaker 6: after she passed away. Once they transferred to our dad, 389 00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 6: he decided to keep them in his name and said 390 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 6: he would split them later. 391 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:52,680 Speaker 8: Not a big deal. 392 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,399 Speaker 6: We never wanted their money and would much rather have 393 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,400 Speaker 6: had our mother back. He never updated the will our 394 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,880 Speaker 6: parents originally made ten year years before our mom's passing. 395 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 6: When things were getting really bad with my father, I 396 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 6: took an extended leave from work and drove across the 397 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 6: country to spend time with him and my sister. During 398 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:14,280 Speaker 6: this visit, my dad decided he wanted to marry Karen 399 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,479 Speaker 6: and said my sister and I had to help her 400 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:19,080 Speaker 6: pick out a dress and go to the courthouse with 401 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 6: them the next day to be witnesses. 402 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,440 Speaker 8: My God, we were. 403 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,680 Speaker 6: Frankly shocked, as both had repeatedly told us they would 404 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:31,760 Speaker 6: never remarry. After the incredibly uncomfortable experience of helping Karen 405 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 6: pick out a wedding dress, we sat down for a 406 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,960 Speaker 6: meal and Bee brought up whether they both planned to 407 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:40,800 Speaker 6: update their wills since they each had children from prior marriages. 408 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 6: This was something we had talked about and thought was 409 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 6: a fair question, as at this point the doctor had 410 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,520 Speaker 6: given our father less than two months to live. Our 411 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 6: dad exploded in the restaurant, screaming at us that we 412 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,520 Speaker 6: had no respect for him and that we abandoned him 413 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,400 Speaker 6: after our mother passed away, So what was happening now 414 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,679 Speaker 6: was our fault. B burst into tears while trying to 415 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 6: explain that it was just a shocking announcement and we 416 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 6: were trying not to make the same mistake that happened 417 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:12,920 Speaker 6: when our mom passed. I ended up physically separating them 418 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,800 Speaker 6: and drove B and myself to a bar where we 419 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,120 Speaker 6: basically got wasted. 420 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:17,919 Speaker 8: At one PM. 421 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,200 Speaker 6: While trying to come to terms with what was happening, 422 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,679 Speaker 6: We went to the wedding the next day, and things 423 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,879 Speaker 6: were strained, to say the least. My father only spoke 424 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:29,359 Speaker 6: with me and Karen wouldn't even acknowledge our presence. But 425 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,879 Speaker 6: it was important for me to support my dad, so 426 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,840 Speaker 6: I wanted to be there and be wanted to be 427 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,520 Speaker 6: there in case I needed support. A few days after that, 428 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,080 Speaker 6: my leave was up and I drove back home. Three 429 00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:42,679 Speaker 6: weeks later. My dad had rapidly deteriorated and was on 430 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,840 Speaker 6: enough pain medication that he was unable to type and 431 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:49,200 Speaker 6: barely able to hold a sensible conversation. My sister would 432 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 6: go sit with him at Karen's house when she could, 433 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,359 Speaker 6: but since they were in a different state and my 434 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:58,119 Speaker 6: sister now had two infant children, it wasn't always possible. 435 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,520 Speaker 6: Prior to getting in this state, our her dad told 436 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,719 Speaker 6: us he didn't want us around him at the end 437 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,160 Speaker 6: of his life, as he didn't want anyone to see 438 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 6: or remember him like that. We generally ignored this, even 439 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 6: as it resulted in verbal bee from him. Since I 440 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,480 Speaker 6: was freshly out of school, it wasn't financially possible for 441 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 6: me to take any more time off and still have 442 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,439 Speaker 6: a job, so I went when I could and called 443 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 6: every day. One day that third week, I called my 444 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,119 Speaker 6: sister because my dad had been sending me messages that 445 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,560 Speaker 6: didn't make sense. We tried to get in touch with 446 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 6: the hospice nurse to check on him, but we're told 447 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:35,320 Speaker 6: we weren't allowed to make that request or ask about 448 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,400 Speaker 6: as well being since we weren't his wife. I panicked 449 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,400 Speaker 6: because I'd called Karen multiple times and she never answered, 450 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 6: sending me to voicemail. Bee drove the two hours down 451 00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:48,159 Speaker 6: to check on him and found that Karen, who was 452 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,040 Speaker 6: in charge of his medication since she didn't want hospice 453 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:55,400 Speaker 6: to do that, ended up tripling his dose of pain medication. 454 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 8: Everything about the story just keeps getting worse and worse. 455 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 8: I mean literally, the only thing that I can think 456 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,119 Speaker 8: about of how I can help is to tell you 457 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 8: and your sister to go get checked, because if both 458 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:09,119 Speaker 8: your parents yeah at stage four, Karen, you know you 459 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:10,359 Speaker 8: want to catch that early. 460 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,320 Speaker 6: After speaking with Karen and the hospice nurse, my sister 461 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,240 Speaker 6: got them to agree that only the hospice nurse would 462 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 6: dispense his medication From then on. I never had another 463 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,720 Speaker 6: lucid conversation with him after that, and exactly twenty eight 464 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 6: days after they were married, our father passed at around 465 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 6: twelve thirty am. Karen's family, who were in town for 466 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:33,439 Speaker 6: her son's graduation, called me to let me know, and 467 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:37,120 Speaker 6: then berated me for not wanting to speak with Karen 468 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 6: on the phone. I apologized, but stated I just wanted 469 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,320 Speaker 6: to call my sister, and I did. I woke up 470 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,800 Speaker 6: eight hours later to a message from Karen that my 471 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 6: dad's funeral was being held in two days at eight am. 472 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,600 Speaker 6: I was flabbergasted. How is that enough time to plan 473 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:56,120 Speaker 6: a funeral, allow for reviewing, and for our family to travel. 474 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,520 Speaker 8: It's not she doesn't want you there. 475 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:02,639 Speaker 6: Well, Karen informed me that since her family was already 476 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,200 Speaker 6: in town, it didn't matter about anyone else. 477 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:10,760 Speaker 8: It's like, oh, wait, you guys can't make it. No, well, 478 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,360 Speaker 8: I guess we'll have to do it without. 479 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 6: You, without his own daughters. Yeah, the funeral had to 480 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,960 Speaker 6: be held before they left. I was left scrambling to 481 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 6: get a last minute flight home, since it took over 482 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,919 Speaker 6: twenty four hours to drive back. I arrived home the 483 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,399 Speaker 6: next day and drove straight to the funeral home to 484 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 6: meet my sister in Karen's family. The entire meeting was 485 00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:34,520 Speaker 6: a disaster. This was the same place we were five 486 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,359 Speaker 6: years ago planning our mom's funeral, and the funeral director 487 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,320 Speaker 6: remembered my sister. 488 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 8: And me by name. Oh. 489 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 6: Karen had brought along my dad's a strange sister whom 490 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,360 Speaker 6: he had not had a relationship with our entire lives. 491 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 6: Karen and her family wanted a Catholic priest to preside 492 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:57,120 Speaker 6: over the funeral. Our dad was atheist, wanted no family 493 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,679 Speaker 6: viewing of our dad, only she and her family, not 494 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:01,719 Speaker 6: my sister and I. 495 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,120 Speaker 8: This woman is awful, and the list goes on. 496 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,200 Speaker 6: It got so bad that I stormed out of the 497 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:11,040 Speaker 6: room twice. The real treat was when Karen's mother pulled 498 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:15,000 Speaker 6: my sister and me aside and lectured us on how 499 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:20,160 Speaker 6: tomorrow we were expected to behave and not embarrass Karen 500 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 6: excuse me. Needless to say, I didn't handle that well, 501 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 6: telling her to f off and that I would make 502 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,880 Speaker 6: a scene if I chose to a little context. I'm 503 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,680 Speaker 6: an introvert with social anxiety. I have a hard time 504 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:36,400 Speaker 6: communicating when stressed and don't like being touched. However, I'm 505 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:40,080 Speaker 6: stupidly loyal to my family, so when Karen's mother grabbed 506 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,440 Speaker 6: me and Be by the arm and he yanked us around. 507 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:46,960 Speaker 6: I lost my crap. This woman also berated b for 508 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,840 Speaker 6: deciding not to let her son come to the funeral. 509 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,640 Speaker 6: At this point, I'd had enough and yelled at both 510 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,520 Speaker 6: Karen and her mother, pointing out that this was the 511 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,760 Speaker 6: second time Be and I were planning a parent's funeral 512 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:04,240 Speaker 6: and that they expressingly ignored all of my dad's final wishes. 513 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,200 Speaker 6: I grabbed Bee and left, with the threat that if 514 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,160 Speaker 6: I wasn't allowed to see my dad the next day, 515 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,639 Speaker 6: I would make a scene unlike anything they had ever witnessed. 516 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:17,399 Speaker 8: It's like in Astasia when Rasputin comes in, or I 517 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,000 Speaker 8: guess you could also say alyficent In sleeping Beauty and 518 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,320 Speaker 8: they're like, ah, I will curse you forever. 519 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 6: The next morning, suddenly, my family, including one of our 520 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 6: mother's brothers who drove all night, were allowed to see 521 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:35,080 Speaker 6: my dad. Karen had included a rosary. My dad was atheist. 522 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,919 Speaker 6: The funeral director was on our side and allowed us 523 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,520 Speaker 6: to add anything we wanted to the casket and seated 524 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:45,080 Speaker 6: our side first. The service was vomit worthy. One of 525 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 6: Karen's nephews gave a speech about how Joe was the 526 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:51,400 Speaker 6: father he never had and the son Joe always wanted. 527 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:55,680 Speaker 6: At least three people fell asleep and snored. The graveside 528 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,639 Speaker 6: service wasn't a huge deal until we got another lecture 529 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,240 Speaker 6: about proper funneral emotion. 530 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,880 Speaker 8: Lecturing these people about their parents passing. 531 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 6: When we buried our mom, our dad told us crying 532 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 6: was not allowed, so nobody should be shocked that neither 533 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:15,200 Speaker 6: Be nor I cried during his funeral either. This inspired 534 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:19,399 Speaker 6: rage from Karen and my dad's mom, who crawled out 535 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,160 Speaker 6: of her hole. After twenty eight years of being a wall. 536 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 6: We heard over and over about what witches we were 537 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,359 Speaker 6: b and I just ignored them. However, on my way out, 538 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 6: I overheard Karen and my dad's mom talking about going 539 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:36,720 Speaker 6: to my parents' home and taking what they wanted and deserve. 540 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:41,200 Speaker 6: We barely had a passing certificate, so I walked over 541 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:42,760 Speaker 6: to Karen and asked if she had a key to 542 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 6: her family home so that Be and I could grab 543 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:49,679 Speaker 6: some personal items. Karen agreed, suspiciously easy, and gave me 544 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:50,160 Speaker 6: a key. 545 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,640 Speaker 8: Take it all, Take it all, and. 546 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 6: One of you goes to U Hall, and one of 547 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:55,960 Speaker 6: you goes to the house. 548 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,520 Speaker 8: And then you lock the house down. You don't let 549 00:26:58,680 --> 00:26:59,240 Speaker 8: anyone in. 550 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,399 Speaker 6: You haul girl also goes and gets locks from locks. 551 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,159 Speaker 6: B and I drove to our family home and the 552 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,240 Speaker 6: key didn't work. I jimmied the door open and immediately 553 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,720 Speaker 6: noticed that the sofa and chairs my mom had bought 554 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,000 Speaker 6: before she passed away were missing, as were the end 555 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 6: tables and the TV. The safe with all our dad's 556 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:20,360 Speaker 6: important documents had also been messed with. Two neighbors came 557 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,240 Speaker 6: over and said an unknown truck came two mornings ago 558 00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 6: and left with furniture. That's right, less than eight hours 559 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,440 Speaker 6: after his passing, Karen had driven to our family home 560 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,440 Speaker 6: and taken my mom's furniture. She had asked my dad 561 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,800 Speaker 6: repeatedly for that furniture, and he always refused, saying it 562 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,800 Speaker 6: would only ever stay in my mom's house. 563 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:42,320 Speaker 8: At that point, B and. 564 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 6: I called in the cavalry and we packed and moved 565 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 6: eight thirty two hundred square foot house in roughly four hours. 566 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,800 Speaker 8: Initiative drive power. 567 00:27:56,080 --> 00:28:00,439 Speaker 6: Look at you guys, go I can feel the like 568 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 6: rage that feel that group. 569 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,240 Speaker 8: Oh yeah, they were like we gotta move people out 570 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:07,680 Speaker 8: out out, go go go. 571 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 6: The absolute efficiency that came from that. 572 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,080 Speaker 8: Yeah, they were like, okay, you take this upstairs, I'll 573 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 8: take the downstairs. You got the kitchen, and let's move 574 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:16,439 Speaker 8: out people. 575 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,960 Speaker 6: Two days later, our found our parents will in their 576 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,479 Speaker 6: bank safety deposit box and contacted Karen. Karen lost her 577 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:26,520 Speaker 6: crap and produced documents that had been signed by our 578 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,560 Speaker 6: dad within seventy two hours of his passing and were 579 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:34,080 Speaker 6: very obviously not his signature. He supposedly signed over all 580 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:37,200 Speaker 6: his vehicles, businesses, and house to Karen, along with his 581 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,840 Speaker 6: life insurance and our mother's investment accounts. 582 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,960 Speaker 8: So that's like a crime, Karen, it's like such a crime. 583 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:43,920 Speaker 8: It's a crime. 584 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,800 Speaker 6: Our legal battle began. Two of the three life insurance 585 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,840 Speaker 6: policies denied her as the recipient since it was changed 586 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,880 Speaker 6: so close to his passing, and the beneficiaries reverted back 587 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,040 Speaker 6: to be and me. After we went to court, the 588 00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,800 Speaker 6: judge decided that even those state law stated if you 589 00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:03,040 Speaker 6: were married less than a year before you're passing your 590 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,280 Speaker 6: assets were back to your children, that that rule didn't 591 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,760 Speaker 6: apply due to the documents that were signed. Eventually, it 592 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:13,320 Speaker 6: was decided that Karen would be in charge of selling 593 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:17,120 Speaker 6: our parents' business with our approval, and that the money 594 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:20,040 Speaker 6: would be split fifty to fifty between Karen and b 595 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 6: and me, while By and I could keep our parents' 596 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 6: house and everything in it. Sadly, Karen would keep our 597 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:29,720 Speaker 6: mother's investment accounts as she was the legal spouse. After 598 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,320 Speaker 6: we agreed, the judge asked if there was anything else 599 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,520 Speaker 6: we wanted to bring up, and I stated that I 600 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,560 Speaker 6: wanted my mom's furniture back and that I would refuse 601 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 6: the settlement if it didn't happen, since we had proof 602 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,200 Speaker 6: it was taken from our family home after Dad's passing. 603 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:48,080 Speaker 6: The glare on Karen's face was worth one thousand suns. 604 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,200 Speaker 6: The day came to pick up what we were getting 605 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 6: from the business, and guess what was sitting right in 606 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 6: front of the office. My mother's furniture. 607 00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:59,480 Speaker 8: Did that come from? Oh, Karen's. 608 00:29:59,600 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 7: I don't know. 609 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 8: Oh I didn't dake it. I don't know how I 610 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,720 Speaker 8: got there this morning. I walked in and look. 611 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,160 Speaker 6: I guess someone first robbed me. 612 00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:11,680 Speaker 8: They gave me stuff, Yeah, tooth fairy easter bunny, Sanna came, 613 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:13,040 Speaker 8: dropped it off. 614 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 6: Oh, and that furniture. We turned around and sold it 615 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:19,080 Speaker 6: to a competing law firm in Karen's hometown for them 616 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:19,640 Speaker 6: to use. 617 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 8: It by lobby. 618 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:24,120 Speaker 6: It was the ugliest sofa and chair sat any of 619 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 6: us had seen, but my mom loved it, so I 620 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,200 Speaker 6: was determined to get it back. We advertised it as 621 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,640 Speaker 6: caution heartless witches may have sat on this, and the 622 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,280 Speaker 6: law firm said that was exactly the type of couch 623 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 6: they needed. I get great joy knowing Karen drove by 624 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,680 Speaker 6: that place every day and had to see that couch 625 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,240 Speaker 6: through the giant glass window. Karen ended up selling both 626 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:47,560 Speaker 6: businesses without telling us and pocketing the proceeds herself. She 627 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,800 Speaker 6: told the buyers that her and my dad started the 628 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,560 Speaker 6: business and that my dad had no children. She also 629 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:56,200 Speaker 6: tried to cancel various insurances we had together and told 630 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,160 Speaker 6: them that all three of us had passed away after 631 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:03,040 Speaker 6: being disowned and declared passed away and told we never existed. 632 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,280 Speaker 6: Be and I decided this was too emotionally draining to 633 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,160 Speaker 6: continue fighting and let it go. That she went against 634 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,280 Speaker 6: a court order. We wanted to be done with her. However, 635 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,760 Speaker 6: this entire situation made my skin itch. I had spoken 636 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 6: multiple times with both my parents about what they wanted 637 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,240 Speaker 6: to happen with their estate and this was nothing like 638 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,800 Speaker 6: what either had said, and this is where I decided 639 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,880 Speaker 6: to get a little payback. In Karen's state, if you 640 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,880 Speaker 6: have an income under a certain threshold and have a 641 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,320 Speaker 6: certain number or more children, your children can go to 642 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:38,200 Speaker 6: state college basically for free. Karen had three kids who 643 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 6: would all be starting college in the fall. Due to 644 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:44,720 Speaker 6: receiving our parents' business and their bank accounts, Karen moved 645 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 6: up a lot of tax brackets. By the time our 646 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,600 Speaker 6: dad passed, their business was making almost six hundred K 647 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:53,640 Speaker 6: a year compared to the less than thirty five k 648 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,760 Speaker 6: Karen told us she made. So in a moment of 649 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,959 Speaker 6: pure spitefulness, I called the state board and asked how 650 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,920 Speaker 6: well they ensure the children on state funds actually qualified. 651 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:06,200 Speaker 6: After I confirmed the process, I suggested they'd take another 652 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:10,080 Speaker 6: look at Karen's monthly and yearly income, as she likely 653 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,040 Speaker 6: would be committing fraud if she was part of that program. 654 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,680 Speaker 6: Needless to say, all her children were kicked out of 655 00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:18,760 Speaker 6: the assistance program but could still enroll in the university. 656 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,360 Speaker 6: They just had to pay tuition like everyone else. 657 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,960 Speaker 8: But thank goodness, you know, she's more or less out 658 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,240 Speaker 8: of your life, and it seems like you're getting you're 659 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:28,080 Speaker 8: getting back at her. 660 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:31,080 Speaker 6: I didn't tell my family about this for years until 661 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,160 Speaker 6: it casually came up in conversation that Karen was married 662 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:38,320 Speaker 6: a third time and getting ready to go through another divorce. 663 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,920 Speaker 6: I just laughed a little to myself, reminiscing about screwing 664 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 6: her over like she did us, and told my family 665 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,960 Speaker 6: when they asked. Some of them thought it was hilarious, 666 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,520 Speaker 6: while others told me it was cool since her children 667 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,840 Speaker 6: were innocent. Honestly, I didn't and still don't care. And 668 00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 6: with that, my ridiculously long tail ends. So am I 669 00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:59,160 Speaker 6: the a hole for a petty revenge against Karen. That's 670 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:00,200 Speaker 6: the end of that story. 671 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:04,560 Speaker 8: I knew you're not. She got what she deserved. She 672 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 8: did it, did what she had to do. But that's 673 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,440 Speaker 8: the end of that story. And we've got another one 674 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:09,440 Speaker 8: coming right up. 675 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:11,680 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're going to get back to these stories. 676 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:14,040 Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. 677 00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 8: My husband refused to support my legal battle and expects 678 00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:21,240 Speaker 8: me to move on from what So my husband, twenty 679 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,800 Speaker 8: eight male, and I, thirty female, get into this same 680 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 8: fight every few weeks for the last eight months. He 681 00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 8: thinks I am being a petty, vindictive ahole and am 682 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,160 Speaker 8: so consumed with revenge. By the way, this comes from 683 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,200 Speaker 8: Cautious Chipmunk five to six five And if you want 684 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,840 Speaker 8: to spend your own stories, go to the r slash 685 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,960 Speaker 8: Okay story time, separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, and 686 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,960 Speaker 8: we're here to give good advice. Goofuley, but we don't 687 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,440 Speaker 8: have all the answers. We only know what we'd do, 688 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,360 Speaker 8: So let us know what you would do in the comments. 689 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:50,200 Speaker 8: Last year, in October, my dad passed away. My little 690 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,160 Speaker 8: family of husband and kids live in a different state 691 00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,680 Speaker 8: than the rest of our families, but we decided we 692 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,640 Speaker 8: wanted to elope. I know we did our life backwards, 693 00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,280 Speaker 8: but whatever. We dropped the kids off at my dad's house, 694 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,320 Speaker 8: did a week by ourselves, got married, then picked up 695 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:06,560 Speaker 8: the kids to do our last week of a honeymoon 696 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:09,560 Speaker 8: as a family vacation, visiting my in laws and sharing 697 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 8: the news. On the last night, my dad passed away 698 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,760 Speaker 8: and we had to drive back. Oh. My dad lived 699 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:19,319 Speaker 8: with my cousin, renting a house from some friends. My 700 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:22,480 Speaker 8: dad had a girlfriend for four months prior to his passing, 701 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:26,080 Speaker 8: who immediately moved into the house and claimed to live there. 702 00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:29,200 Speaker 8: I was there five days before his passing, and she 703 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,600 Speaker 8: did not live there. My dad never wanted to live 704 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 8: with another woman, especially since he was still married and 705 00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,959 Speaker 8: sleeping with my mom. My mom and dad separated during 706 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:42,600 Speaker 8: the pandemic, but were still really close. It's really messy, 707 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,960 Speaker 8: all four of them. The couple that owned the house, 708 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:48,560 Speaker 8: my cousin, and my dad's girlfriend did everything they could 709 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,920 Speaker 8: to keep us out of the house. My siblings were 710 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:54,279 Speaker 8: kicked out within twelve hours of him passing with the 711 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,319 Speaker 8: muscle reinforcements of a neighbor. They let me into the 712 00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,799 Speaker 8: house to look for his paperwork the following day when 713 00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,239 Speaker 8: I rolled into town, but I had to wait on 714 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,880 Speaker 8: the porch for several hours. My keys and code no 715 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:09,000 Speaker 8: longer worked. I found out they re keyed the doors 716 00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:12,480 Speaker 8: and locked the garage. Once in the house, I found 717 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:16,440 Speaker 8: that pew pews were missing and that paperwork was gone 718 00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,560 Speaker 8: from his safe. I know this because my paperwork that 719 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:21,440 Speaker 8: I had just put into the safe a few days 720 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:24,919 Speaker 8: before was also missing. I was then strong armed into 721 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,240 Speaker 8: handing over all my dad's cash that was in the safe, 722 00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,480 Speaker 8: which was fifty five hundred dollars to his girlfriend, who 723 00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:34,360 Speaker 8: was telling everyone it was her tip money. In reality, 724 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,440 Speaker 8: it was the money from the sale of his motorcycle 725 00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:39,319 Speaker 8: that finalized two days before his passing. Who keeps their 726 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,680 Speaker 8: tip money all in crisp hundreds. I knew from previous 727 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,600 Speaker 8: conversations with my dad and from signing his will that 728 00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,719 Speaker 8: I was the executor of his estate. Others knew it too, 729 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 8: because he was vocal about his wishes. I was then 730 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 8: told by my cousin that I was not allowed to 731 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,640 Speaker 8: touch anything and I needed to come back with paperwork 732 00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,040 Speaker 8: that left me in charge of my dad's estate. This 733 00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,440 Speaker 8: took about three weeks to get but I have had 734 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,280 Speaker 8: it that night if someone had not gone through his safe. 735 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,640 Speaker 8: They even went as far as to threaten to have 736 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,319 Speaker 8: me trespassed from the property when I came to get 737 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:12,360 Speaker 8: my clothing for my father's wake. My grandparents even sided 738 00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,120 Speaker 8: with the cousin and threatened to call the cops themselves. 739 00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,680 Speaker 8: Really threw me for a loop because we were always 740 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:20,200 Speaker 8: really close. I am one of the only family members 741 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,440 Speaker 8: that live in town with them. I see them often 742 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:24,600 Speaker 8: with the kids, and we'd call each other once a week. 743 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:27,360 Speaker 8: As another layer to this crap show, the couple my 744 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,120 Speaker 8: dad was renting from were close friends of fits. My 745 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:33,600 Speaker 8: dad was a silent investor in their automotive business. My 746 00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:37,600 Speaker 8: dad and them had promissory notes for twenty K that 747 00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,040 Speaker 8: was legit and at the time of his passing was 748 00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:43,279 Speaker 8: already passed due for repayment. My dad was heavily in 749 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:46,640 Speaker 8: medical debt, credit card debt, and was a middimalist. His 750 00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:50,399 Speaker 8: total estate before debts is under sixty five K, and 751 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,520 Speaker 8: after debt repayment we will be lucky to cover legal 752 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,520 Speaker 8: fees with probate. He was not rich by any means, 753 00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,799 Speaker 8: but he was extremely generous even when he should not 754 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:02,720 Speaker 8: have been, so twenty K is a lot of money 755 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,360 Speaker 8: in this scenario. The couple went on telling people that 756 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:08,160 Speaker 8: my siblings and I were gold diggers and only after 757 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:10,279 Speaker 8: my dad's money. How would you know they did this, 758 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,080 Speaker 8: you may ask, because they called a mutual friend that 759 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,920 Speaker 8: had come over, and our friend put it on speaker. 760 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,440 Speaker 8: We all heard them laugh about u side of the house, 761 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:22,080 Speaker 8: mock my siblings as they cried, and call us gold 762 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,960 Speaker 8: diggers for asking about where things were that were already 763 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,880 Speaker 8: missing from the house. We were all really paranoid because 764 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:30,799 Speaker 8: my dad passed at work and his friends found out 765 00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:34,279 Speaker 8: and flooded my dad's scene. People were going through his 766 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,560 Speaker 8: desk at work and had already taken his side arm 767 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:39,520 Speaker 8: and his jewelry the coroner placed on his desk. As 768 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,600 Speaker 8: we waited for the paperwork, I was going through my 769 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,960 Speaker 8: dad's belongings on his desk and went through his work computer. 770 00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,680 Speaker 8: From there, I logged into his security cameras that were 771 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,960 Speaker 8: at the house. I downloaded and saved all the videos 772 00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:55,040 Speaker 8: from outside and inside the house. I overheard forty hours 773 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:57,920 Speaker 8: of my cousin and various other people talking about how 774 00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,680 Speaker 8: if they could keep us out of the house long 775 00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:02,719 Speaker 8: enough with tenant rights, they'd be able to keep my 776 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:06,439 Speaker 8: dad's belongings. My cousin has a major gambling problem, which 777 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,000 Speaker 8: is why I wanted to pack up and secure everything. 778 00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,960 Speaker 8: The first day I got there, I also heard packing 779 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:15,240 Speaker 8: which violated our agreement we made with lawyers and later 780 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:18,520 Speaker 8: our TPO. We also got to hear hours of defamation 781 00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:22,240 Speaker 8: and vile lies they told our friends and family because 782 00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,320 Speaker 8: of this. The night my dad passed away, the rest 783 00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:29,279 Speaker 8: of our extended family passed away. To two people on 784 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:32,120 Speaker 8: my dad's side of the family said I'm so sorry 785 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:35,120 Speaker 8: you lost your dad. Everyone else either cut ties with 786 00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:39,879 Speaker 8: no conversation or sent horrible hate mail because we had 787 00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:43,280 Speaker 8: started to go fund me and embarrass the family, making 788 00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:46,239 Speaker 8: my father look destitute. They said we were frauds for 789 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:49,239 Speaker 8: doing so, because our grandparents are wealthy and they would 790 00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,600 Speaker 8: take care of it. They did not. They didn't even 791 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:54,680 Speaker 8: offer to. They cut ties with us after the funeral. 792 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,719 Speaker 8: With all of this rage that is built up inside me, 793 00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:01,360 Speaker 8: I became obsessed with reading all my dad's communications for 794 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:04,400 Speaker 8: the past four years since my parents split, and started 795 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,400 Speaker 8: making a very in depth timeline of everything. I started 796 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:12,080 Speaker 8: discovering lies and forming just general WTF questions. Opie's got 797 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:15,600 Speaker 8: her little like red yarn and a pinboard. 798 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:19,279 Speaker 6: Specifically the scene where he looks so fey. 799 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,880 Speaker 8: Is to everyone's colluding against my father ope, he continues. 800 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:29,280 Speaker 8: I found out my dad's new girlfriend is a straight 801 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:33,120 Speaker 8: up fraud with stolen valor. I uncovered a major scandal 802 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:37,040 Speaker 8: like criminal offenses that are being swept under the rug 803 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,560 Speaker 8: in one of the charitable organizations my father helped run 804 00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:45,160 Speaker 8: horrifically found tons of home movies if you catch my drift. 805 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,760 Speaker 8: I also found out that my dad knew for years 806 00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:50,719 Speaker 8: that he was passing away and never said a thing. 807 00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:53,160 Speaker 8: That was the missing piece to the puzzle that I 808 00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,000 Speaker 8: needed for everything to click. All right, So knowing all 809 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:59,440 Speaker 8: of that, here's where I might be the ale. I 810 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,600 Speaker 8: want to sue, press charges, and out these people in 811 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,839 Speaker 8: any way that I can. I want to teach these 812 00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:09,320 Speaker 8: people that they cannot be crappy people without having any consequences. 813 00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:13,800 Speaker 8: I want revenge. My husband thinks this is a waste 814 00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:16,359 Speaker 8: of time and energy. There's nothing that can be done. 815 00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:19,239 Speaker 8: I will not win a court case. No one is 816 00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:22,080 Speaker 8: going to care even if I have proof. How do 817 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:23,240 Speaker 8: you know that? Yeah? 818 00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:26,520 Speaker 6: I feel like in that case, then you go, okay, 819 00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:30,000 Speaker 6: let's just talk to them. Yeah exactly, and see if 820 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:30,720 Speaker 6: I have a case. 821 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:32,840 Speaker 8: Yeah, I think you go to a lawyer, you bring 822 00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,319 Speaker 8: all of that proof. Yeah, and we go from there. 823 00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:38,440 Speaker 6: And if he genuinely says you don't only have a case, 824 00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:41,600 Speaker 6: then unfortunately we go with what your husband said. 825 00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:44,000 Speaker 8: Agree, agree one hundred percent. No one is going to 826 00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:46,759 Speaker 8: care even if I have brute This upsets me so 827 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,400 Speaker 8: much because like, why can't you just support me in 828 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,839 Speaker 8: my time of grief? Why can't you believe that our 829 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:56,279 Speaker 8: system works. We're suing for the note. It's an open shutcase. 830 00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:58,680 Speaker 8: It's just in the air how long it would take 831 00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:01,239 Speaker 8: on a repayment of a judgment. This is not consuming 832 00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:04,560 Speaker 8: my life. I'm still a functional adult, taking care of kids, 833 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,000 Speaker 8: going to work. But he says I'm being an ale 834 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:11,280 Speaker 8: So am I on my side? Are you on my side? 835 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,719 Speaker 8: I could use your help with petty revenge hips for 836 00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:17,400 Speaker 8: the owners of the house, the neighbor, the cousin, the girlfriend, 837 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:21,200 Speaker 8: and oh he does have an update. We have gotten 838 00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:24,080 Speaker 8: a lawyer nice and already be on the process of 839 00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:28,280 Speaker 8: going after the note. It is a very clear, open 840 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:30,279 Speaker 8: and shut wind for us, but the other stuff is 841 00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,440 Speaker 8: shaky and could go either way with a jury, so 842 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:34,920 Speaker 8: it would be a gamble. My husband and I finally 843 00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:37,879 Speaker 8: had a deeper conversation. I saw a Reddit story about 844 00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:40,480 Speaker 8: how a couple us to hold each other's hand and 845 00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:43,480 Speaker 8: not let go and having a fight. This worked really 846 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,240 Speaker 8: well for us and we finally got to the deeper issues. 847 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:49,640 Speaker 8: He is afraid I will financially endanger our family going 848 00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:53,359 Speaker 8: after revenge. I told him that really hurt me and 849 00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,840 Speaker 8: I am disappointed. He would think that maybe I'd just 850 00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:59,080 Speaker 8: like fantasizing about the revenge in a situation where I 851 00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:02,640 Speaker 8: feel so powerless, talking about it helps me let go. 852 00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:05,000 Speaker 8: I joked with him that I am open to all 853 00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,680 Speaker 8: sorts of revenge, not just financial. At the end of 854 00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,040 Speaker 8: the day, I really do not care about getting the money. 855 00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:13,000 Speaker 8: I just want things to be karmically balanced. I am 856 00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:18,160 Speaker 8: open to alternatives like spice, curses, voodoo dolls, whatever. The 857 00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,680 Speaker 8: thought of them getting spooked by a shadow person for 858 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:23,719 Speaker 8: the rest of their lives gives me joy, especially since 859 00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:26,040 Speaker 8: I know these people are hardcore religious. I told them 860 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,279 Speaker 8: I would never put our family in danger like that, 861 00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:30,799 Speaker 8: and I know when to cut my losses. He's also 862 00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:34,279 Speaker 8: upset that I started smoking again. I started because I 863 00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:36,960 Speaker 8: am stressed, and this has been my stress crutch since 864 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,640 Speaker 8: I was a teenager. Usually it was a pack or 865 00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,680 Speaker 8: two and then I would be done for six to 866 00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:44,440 Speaker 8: eight months until I got stressed out again. But I 867 00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:47,920 Speaker 8: started smoking regularly in August last year, when my boss 868 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,560 Speaker 8: passed away and I was worried about carrying a family 869 00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:54,160 Speaker 8: company of thirty employees while they were all grieving. My 870 00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,640 Speaker 8: dad passed away shortly after, and I've been on the 871 00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:59,799 Speaker 8: phone with police and lawyers every other day since then. 872 00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,960 Speaker 8: My husband thought I picked it up because it made 873 00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:05,680 Speaker 8: me feel closer to my dad since he was a smoker. 874 00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,480 Speaker 8: That aggravated me even more because at this point I'm 875 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:11,720 Speaker 8: just addicted to nicotine and his expectation of me quitting 876 00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:14,880 Speaker 8: cold turkey is unreasonable. You might not be able to 877 00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:17,480 Speaker 8: quit cold turkey, but you gotta make some like it 878 00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,919 Speaker 8: doesn't even seem like you're necessarily making any moves. 879 00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:21,680 Speaker 6: And I am worried that we're getting mad at our 880 00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:25,160 Speaker 6: husband for being concerned about your health and your coping. 881 00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:28,120 Speaker 8: And now I'm yeah, I am wondering if Opie's husband 882 00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:30,040 Speaker 8: has just been like, hey, maybe we don't, you know, 883 00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,040 Speaker 8: pursue revenge because it's just not good for. 884 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:33,399 Speaker 6: Any stressing me out a lot. 885 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,360 Speaker 8: And then he's like, maybe maybe we don't smoke because 886 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:37,960 Speaker 8: it is bad for us, and she's. 887 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:42,640 Speaker 6: Like, ah, yeah, I say, maybe some therapy. Throughout all 888 00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:45,560 Speaker 6: of this time, no to proceed or not. 889 00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:47,520 Speaker 8: But that is the end of that story. 890 00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:51,680 Speaker 6: My sister in law banned me from their house. Then 891 00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:58,239 Speaker 6: my brother caught her cheating. Oh no, My twenty nine 892 00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:01,240 Speaker 6: brother and I are really close. We had some trauma 893 00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:04,840 Speaker 6: from our mom during our childhood and we've just grown. 894 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:05,680 Speaker 8: Closer because of it. 895 00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,359 Speaker 6: Our dad lives within thirty minutes of both of us, 896 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:10,640 Speaker 6: but we live only four minutes. 897 00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:11,480 Speaker 8: From each other. By the way. 898 00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:13,440 Speaker 6: This comes from big Yak fifty seven. 899 00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:14,160 Speaker 8: Oh oh, and. 900 00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,080 Speaker 6: If you want us to make your own stories, go 901 00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:19,840 Speaker 6: to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Dakota, 902 00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:22,719 Speaker 6: and we're here to give good advice goofully, but we 903 00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:25,400 Speaker 6: don't have all the answers really know what we would do, 904 00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,240 Speaker 6: so let us know what you would do in the comments. 905 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,560 Speaker 6: And OPI says when I was twenty one, I found 906 00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:33,279 Speaker 6: out I couldn't have kids. It was difficult for me 907 00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,480 Speaker 6: to hear, but I managed to get over it. I 908 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,480 Speaker 6: have a few mental health conditions that mean I'm not 909 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:40,920 Speaker 6: able to work. Luckily, I'm the one in the family 910 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,560 Speaker 6: with all the health problems because my brother met his 911 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,000 Speaker 6: wife when they were seventeen. 912 00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:48,600 Speaker 4: That's what is that. That's not lucky. Luckily I have 913 00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:51,319 Speaker 4: all the health problems. My brother met as a girl 914 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:51,799 Speaker 4: at seven. 915 00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,239 Speaker 8: Luckily I have the health problems. 916 00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:57,879 Speaker 6: They were married by twenty one and now have two 917 00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:01,799 Speaker 6: wonderful children, both of whom I I absolutely adore. When 918 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,680 Speaker 6: they were born, I was the first person to meet them. 919 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:07,320 Speaker 6: Since we don't have a mom, I was my brother's 920 00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:09,880 Speaker 6: mom figure growing up, so I think he kind of 921 00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:12,640 Speaker 6: looks at me like a mom and sister. I don't 922 00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,120 Speaker 6: have a problem with that at all. It's just the 923 00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:17,920 Speaker 6: way we've always managed. When they were born, he called 924 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:20,160 Speaker 6: me and I met them at the hospital and was 925 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:23,200 Speaker 6: there for his wife whenever she needed. The two kids 926 00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:24,879 Speaker 6: are wonderful and I. 927 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:25,920 Speaker 8: Love them so much. 928 00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:28,400 Speaker 6: Being as I couldn't have my own kids, it was 929 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:31,000 Speaker 6: nice to see what they might have looked like. As 930 00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:33,880 Speaker 6: I lived so close and was pretty much always free, 931 00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:37,360 Speaker 6: I always babysat my brother and his wife loved that, 932 00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,800 Speaker 6: and I also loved it. I'm always around their house. 933 00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,239 Speaker 6: I've noticed that in the past few months, I've been 934 00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:46,600 Speaker 6: there almost all day every day. I don't mind that 935 00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:49,000 Speaker 6: at all, but sometimes I worry that I might be 936 00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:50,720 Speaker 6: overtaking their life a little. 937 00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:52,440 Speaker 8: I had a chat with both. 938 00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:54,400 Speaker 6: Of them and told them that at any point they 939 00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:57,640 Speaker 6: wanted me gone, they just needed to say so. I 940 00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:00,640 Speaker 6: didn't want to overstay my welcome. They both told me 941 00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:02,839 Speaker 6: not to be silly and said they wouldn't care if 942 00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:03,920 Speaker 6: I camped in their kitchen. 943 00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:07,879 Speaker 4: Wow, all right, I'm getting my thermis. I'm getting some 944 00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:11,200 Speaker 4: ster nos, set a tent. I'm building up in the 945 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:16,000 Speaker 4: big two storey tent, building a campfire. Don't tell me 946 00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:19,000 Speaker 4: to camp in the kitchen, because he will. 947 00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:22,000 Speaker 6: A few weeks went by since that chat, and in 948 00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:24,319 Speaker 6: the last week or two she has been a bit 949 00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:27,000 Speaker 6: off with me. It started with a conversation about a 950 00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,960 Speaker 6: funny moment in our childhood. My brother and I were 951 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:33,040 Speaker 6: laughing so hard, and his wife just stood. 952 00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:35,080 Speaker 8: Staring at me before rolling her eyes. 953 00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:37,560 Speaker 6: I asked if she was okay, and she said she 954 00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:40,480 Speaker 6: was sick of being part of a conversation that didn't 955 00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:43,520 Speaker 6: concern her. She said she couldn't relate to it, so 956 00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:46,880 Speaker 6: it wasn't fair that we kept doing it. I apologized 957 00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:48,680 Speaker 6: and said I thought it would just be funny for 958 00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:51,680 Speaker 6: her to hear, but I'd be more mindful in the future. 959 00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:55,200 Speaker 4: Nah, don't be more mindful. That's whack. That is crazy. 960 00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,320 Speaker 4: That is that is whack behavior. 961 00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:59,920 Speaker 6: And also, like, as a wife, are you not like 962 00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:02,120 Speaker 6: kind of interested about your partner's childhood? 963 00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:03,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. 964 00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:06,239 Speaker 6: I love hearing about my partner's showd but. 965 00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:10,280 Speaker 4: It's so unrelatable to you, Carly. You weren't there's so true, 966 00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,400 Speaker 4: so you shouldn't care. You should actually be really upset. 967 00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:15,600 Speaker 6: That's the whole point is, like I wasn't there, so 968 00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,360 Speaker 6: I want to know. Maybe maybe I'm just two curious guys. 969 00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:22,080 Speaker 4: Sumi, Yeah, yeah, anyway. 970 00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,719 Speaker 6: There was another moment when I came around and brought 971 00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:27,800 Speaker 6: their kids some chocolate buttons. Since my brother's wife was 972 00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,040 Speaker 6: at work, I asked my brother if it was okay 973 00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:32,360 Speaker 6: for them to have them. He said it was fine. 974 00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:35,160 Speaker 6: Then his wife came home ten to fifteen minutes later 975 00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:39,120 Speaker 6: and went ballistic at me for feeding them sugar. She 976 00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:41,680 Speaker 6: told me that in the future I needed to call 977 00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:44,799 Speaker 6: both of them, my brother and his wife if I 978 00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:45,319 Speaker 6: wanted to. 979 00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:46,960 Speaker 8: Come around, not just him. 980 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:50,960 Speaker 6: I apologized and left. There have been loads of moments 981 00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:54,719 Speaker 6: like this, but the most recent and aggravating one was yesterday. 982 00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,880 Speaker 6: I had been Christmas shopping at a nearby outlet and 983 00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:00,880 Speaker 6: brought some fresh cookies for all four of them. I 984 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:03,200 Speaker 6: got myself a box, and I normally do this when. 985 00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:03,640 Speaker 8: I go there. 986 00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:07,400 Speaker 4: If that happens to you, and like, your brother's wife 987 00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:09,520 Speaker 4: is like you need to call both of us before 988 00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:11,520 Speaker 4: you come over here. I'd be like, all right, sick, 989 00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:14,680 Speaker 4: I'm not coming over ever anymore. I'm not saying that, 990 00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:16,839 Speaker 4: but I'm thinking it, and I'm calling my brother and 991 00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:18,640 Speaker 4: being like, Hey, just so you know, your wife has 992 00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:21,200 Speaker 4: made me feel extremely unwelcome in your home and I 993 00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:24,040 Speaker 4: don't feel comfortable coming over anymore, So you might want 994 00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:24,880 Speaker 4: to talk to her about that. 995 00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:26,200 Speaker 8: Yeah, that's weird. 996 00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:29,560 Speaker 6: I stopped at the gas station to call them both. 997 00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:31,680 Speaker 6: My brother said it was fine and the kids were 998 00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:34,200 Speaker 6: excited to see me. I called his wife, no answer, 999 00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:37,600 Speaker 6: called again, no answer. I messaged her and she read 1000 00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:38,880 Speaker 6: it but didn't reply. 1001 00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:42,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, so at this point you just go because you 1002 00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:45,239 Speaker 4: can't do that. You can't demand someone talk to you 1003 00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:46,920 Speaker 4: and then ignore them when they try. 1004 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:50,239 Speaker 6: I decided to just stop by, not go inside, just 1005 00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,759 Speaker 6: drop the cookies at the door so as not to 1006 00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:56,400 Speaker 6: aggravate anything. These cookies were fresh and warm, and I 1007 00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:58,880 Speaker 6: didn't want to bring them home because they wouldn't taste 1008 00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:02,239 Speaker 6: as good. Later, handed the cookies to my brother, gave 1009 00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:04,880 Speaker 6: the kids a quick hug, and left. About an hour later, 1010 00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:08,040 Speaker 6: I got a message from his wife saying, how effing 1011 00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:11,120 Speaker 6: dare you come to my house when I've made it 1012 00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:14,719 Speaker 6: very clear you're not welcome unless I've said so. It's 1013 00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,680 Speaker 6: effing weird how you constantly come around to talk to 1014 00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:21,520 Speaker 6: my husband, sitting there giving him the eye while you're talking. 1015 00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:26,200 Speaker 6: He's married, and those are my fing kids that you're 1016 00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:30,759 Speaker 6: constantly playing with mine. This is the last straw, and 1017 00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:33,320 Speaker 6: I'd like if you just stayed away from us now. 1018 00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:35,360 Speaker 6: We don't want to see you at Christmas. 1019 00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:39,879 Speaker 4: Hey dum dum, I'm his sister. Hey dum, dum, I'm 1020 00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:40,440 Speaker 4: his sister. 1021 00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:44,560 Speaker 6: Think that she's giving eyes to her brother. 1022 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:49,640 Speaker 4: Oh no, Oh, I like my brother because he's my brother. 1023 00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:52,520 Speaker 4: But you think I want to steal your husband. 1024 00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:54,800 Speaker 8: I want to marry my brother. 1025 00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:57,239 Speaker 4: What is Oh no? 1026 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,640 Speaker 6: I didn't really know what to so I just messaged 1027 00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:03,279 Speaker 6: my brother and told him to have a chat with 1028 00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:06,440 Speaker 6: her because there must have been a misunderstanding somewhere. I 1029 00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:08,479 Speaker 6: told him I'd like to clear it up because he's 1030 00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:11,160 Speaker 6: my brother, and those are my niece and nephew, who 1031 00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:14,120 Speaker 6: I love very much and don't want to never see again. 1032 00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:17,719 Speaker 6: Since then, I've been bombarded with calls and messages from 1033 00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:21,040 Speaker 6: her and her friends saying that I'm going to cause 1034 00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:24,799 Speaker 6: a divorce, that I'm wrecking their marriage, and that I 1035 00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:28,799 Speaker 6: shouldn't have got my brother involved. Commenter one. I am 1036 00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:32,400 Speaker 6: the older sister of two brothers. If any woman they 1037 00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:35,480 Speaker 6: were dating treated me like that, they'd immediately tell her 1038 00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:38,239 Speaker 6: to step outside, shut the door in her face, and 1039 00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,960 Speaker 6: then we'd go eat the cookies. Commenter two, not the 1040 00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:43,000 Speaker 6: a hole. If I was your brother, I would want 1041 00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,879 Speaker 6: to know if my wife was accusing my sister of 1042 00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:50,759 Speaker 6: having genetic copy pasting type feelings, because who else is 1043 00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:51,520 Speaker 6: she spreading this? 1044 00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:53,719 Speaker 8: To take away all that? 1045 00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:56,680 Speaker 6: And she's controlling which of his family members. 1046 00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:58,480 Speaker 8: Are allowed in his own house. 1047 00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:02,239 Speaker 6: Either way, you chop it. She's out of line, and 1048 00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:03,560 Speaker 6: we have an update. 1049 00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:06,680 Speaker 4: What do you think I agree with all that? Yeah, 1050 00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:09,480 Speaker 4: and she is out of line and it's crazy that, 1051 00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:13,440 Speaker 4: you know, I'm sure she's going all ballistic with brother 1052 00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:18,239 Speaker 4: as well and being like I can't believe it, and 1053 00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:20,920 Speaker 4: Brother's just like I just want to have a normal life. 1054 00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:23,880 Speaker 8: Please, I just wanted the cookies. 1055 00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,840 Speaker 3: I just want to have a wife, and my children. 1056 00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:29,080 Speaker 8: Just wanted the fresh baked cook and I want. 1057 00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:31,040 Speaker 4: My sister to be able to give me cookies. 1058 00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:34,799 Speaker 6: Please update I thought i'd give an update to clear 1059 00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:37,520 Speaker 6: some things up. Some people were questioning why I was 1060 00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:39,960 Speaker 6: there all day, every day, and that that could have 1061 00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:42,920 Speaker 6: been the problem because I was invading their life first 1062 00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:45,880 Speaker 6: of all. In our family growing up, we would visit 1063 00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:49,880 Speaker 6: nearby family only one set of grandparents daily for an hour. 1064 00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:52,920 Speaker 6: That's what this started as. When my brother and his 1065 00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:55,720 Speaker 6: girlfriend first met, it was like this as I'd already 1066 00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:57,960 Speaker 6: moved away. They used to visit me for an hour 1067 00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,440 Speaker 6: each day, and I'd get some bits to eat and 1068 00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:03,360 Speaker 6: some drinks. Sometimes, when my brother was on work trips, 1069 00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:05,640 Speaker 6: she would come around on her own and we'd have 1070 00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:08,239 Speaker 6: a girl's night. When my niece and nephew were born, 1071 00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:11,759 Speaker 6: I stopped going around only once a week because I 1072 00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:14,799 Speaker 6: thought that two newborns were already a lot. But they 1073 00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:17,239 Speaker 6: called me after a couple of weeks asking where I was, 1074 00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:20,440 Speaker 6: saying they missed me, and my sister in law was 1075 00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:23,600 Speaker 6: messaging me, sending pictures of the kids and telling me 1076 00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,200 Speaker 6: they missed me. So I started going around for an 1077 00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:27,320 Speaker 6: hour each day again. 1078 00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:28,880 Speaker 8: Over the last year. 1079 00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:31,440 Speaker 6: Every time I'd go to leave, one of them, sister 1080 00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:35,120 Speaker 6: in law included would say, what no stay for dinner? 1081 00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:38,600 Speaker 6: Or ah, how could you leave this face while holding 1082 00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:40,880 Speaker 6: up a kid? So I ended up staying. I was 1083 00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:44,239 Speaker 6: there all day every day because of them, not for me. 1084 00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:46,439 Speaker 6: I didn't have a problem with it, since I don't 1085 00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:49,480 Speaker 6: do much at home anyway, but still I'd like to 1086 00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:52,160 Speaker 6: go home and relax. It didn't matter, though, because I 1087 00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:54,440 Speaker 6: love my niece and nephew a lot. I sent my 1088 00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:56,880 Speaker 6: brother the screenshot of the text and told him that 1089 00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:59,200 Speaker 6: he needed to talk to her. Now I feel awful 1090 00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:01,960 Speaker 6: because I feel like I'm responsible for the outcome of this. 1091 00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:04,799 Speaker 6: They had a chat, and apparently when the kids were 1092 00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:07,120 Speaker 6: younger and I was there a lot, they built an 1093 00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:11,000 Speaker 6: attachment to me that's stronger than with her. She wasn't 1094 00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:13,640 Speaker 6: bothered by it because she was cheating on my brother 1095 00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:14,880 Speaker 6: with a work colleagues. 1096 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:19,520 Speaker 4: Excuse me, Hello, Hi, you're the worst and I don't 1097 00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:20,040 Speaker 4: like you. 1098 00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:23,720 Speaker 6: But what a turn at the end of the store. 1099 00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:26,680 Speaker 4: Oh my goodness. She's a stinky little lady. 1100 00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:30,040 Speaker 6: So stinky little lady who hates cookies. 1101 00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:33,160 Speaker 4: She probably became a much stinkier little lady after she 1102 00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:38,080 Speaker 4: started cheating on her husband. Wow, and she became very stinky. 1103 00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:39,920 Speaker 4: You cannot contain the stink. 1104 00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:43,440 Speaker 6: No, the stench radiates. But now he's moved away and 1105 00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:46,359 Speaker 6: she no longer has the side piece to help her 1106 00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:49,000 Speaker 6: ignore that. She's been trying to ignore the fact that 1107 00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:52,880 Speaker 6: the kids like me better, but apparently last week at bedtime, 1108 00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:55,640 Speaker 6: her kids asked where I was and said they missed 1109 00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:58,280 Speaker 6: me when I read stories, and it just made her flip. 1110 00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,360 Speaker 6: My brother told her she'd have to deal with the 1111 00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:03,280 Speaker 6: fact that I'm in their life and that I'm his sister, 1112 00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:05,399 Speaker 6: but he's also not sure if he wants to stay 1113 00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:07,600 Speaker 6: with her at all after finding out she was. 1114 00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:12,719 Speaker 4: Cheated unbelievable wrinkle after like she cheated on him and 1115 00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:16,359 Speaker 4: is now looking at his own sister as a potential 1116 00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:20,800 Speaker 4: threat to their right. It's like, girl, you are the danger. 1117 00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:24,080 Speaker 6: You are the threat, you made the whole threat. I'm 1118 00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:27,040 Speaker 6: obviously staying away for a while now so they can 1119 00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:29,400 Speaker 6: sort it out. But I think my brother is leaning 1120 00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:32,799 Speaker 6: towards a divorce and now I just feel awful. And 1121 00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:34,400 Speaker 6: that is the end of that story. 1122 00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:36,920 Speaker 4: Hey, John Ogi host here, We're gonna get back to 1123 00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,160 Speaker 4: this episode, but a quick three minute break of ads 1124 00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:42,400 Speaker 4: from a sponsor's keeping the show alive. My brother is 1125 00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:46,720 Speaker 4: crazy about my pregnancy. Now he'll never meet my baby. 1126 00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:49,080 Speaker 8: Is he having the baby? 1127 00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:51,279 Speaker 4: No, he's just crazy for it. 1128 00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:52,520 Speaker 6: Eh. 1129 00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:55,600 Speaker 4: For context, I female nineteen. I'm living at home with 1130 00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:58,640 Speaker 4: my mother and younger brothers, while my partner, Mail twenty 1131 00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:00,960 Speaker 4: two is securing a new job and looking for a 1132 00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:04,560 Speaker 4: house for us in a new town further west. By 1133 00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,960 Speaker 4: the way. This comes from user panic and confusion, and 1134 00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:09,440 Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to 1135 00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:12,200 Speaker 4: the our slash Okay storytime subrendit. I'm Dakota, I'm Kyle, 1136 00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:14,400 Speaker 4: and we're gonna give you good advice goofly, but we 1137 00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:16,799 Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do, 1138 00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:19,120 Speaker 4: So tell us what you would do in the comments. 1139 00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:24,560 Speaker 4: Nop shows I got pregnant around early February despite being 1140 00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:28,279 Speaker 4: on regular birth control, after a Wiener wrapper broke during 1141 00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:32,000 Speaker 4: a family holiday, a completely unplanned pregnancy. Despite this, we're 1142 00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:34,440 Speaker 4: both very excited to welcome our baby into the world. 1143 00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:38,440 Speaker 4: We've always planned on having kids, just definitely not this soon. 1144 00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:42,680 Speaker 4: My youngest brother, thirteen, is the golden child who gets 1145 00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:47,360 Speaker 4: away with anything and everything, including his overbearingly bad behavior. 1146 00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:49,719 Speaker 4: You've always butted heads to the point where my other 1147 00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,160 Speaker 4: younger brother has had to step in. There have even 1148 00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:54,120 Speaker 4: been times where I've had to lock myself in the 1149 00:55:54,120 --> 00:55:56,439 Speaker 4: bathroom just to get away from him because he keeps 1150 00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:59,440 Speaker 4: following me around, talking at me to prove his point 1151 00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:02,480 Speaker 4: in an art argument. He's even caused me several mental 1152 00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:06,560 Speaker 4: breakdowns by triggering my PTSD about our now estranged father. 1153 00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:10,440 Speaker 4: But he has been really improving lately, going to regular 1154 00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:15,000 Speaker 4: psychology appointments, being I really kind towards me, and even 1155 00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:18,440 Speaker 4: helping me with things around the house, actually making a 1156 00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:22,360 Speaker 4: real effort to fix our relationship and be kinder in general. 1157 00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:24,719 Speaker 4: Things were really looking up, and we even spent a 1158 00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:27,520 Speaker 4: lot of time together during the family holiday and had 1159 00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:30,719 Speaker 4: lots of fun. He hadn't had a single outburst for 1160 00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:33,879 Speaker 4: months or caused any fights between us. I truly thought 1161 00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:37,000 Speaker 4: we were finally going to get along, That is, until 1162 00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:40,720 Speaker 4: he found out I'm pregnant. Silly me for thinking things 1163 00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:44,480 Speaker 4: could really change, right. He's been a down roight nasty, truly, 1164 00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:49,799 Speaker 4: oh monsta. Constantly he's stirring things up against me. He 1165 00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:52,320 Speaker 4: doesn't miss a chance to remind me how irresponsible I 1166 00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:56,520 Speaker 4: am forgetting myself knocked up every time I ask for space, 1167 00:56:56,719 --> 00:56:59,479 Speaker 4: or for him to stop doing something he's purposely doing 1168 00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:02,160 Speaker 4: to irritate me. He retorts back with stuff like I 1169 00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:02,960 Speaker 4: can do what I want. 1170 00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:04,439 Speaker 8: I live here. It's not my fault. 1171 00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:06,880 Speaker 4: You got yourself praigant before getting a house. He constantly 1172 00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:10,000 Speaker 4: points out how I've sinned by having spicy sleep before marriage, 1173 00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:12,640 Speaker 4: and my pregnancy wouldn't have to be everyone else's problem 1174 00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:15,799 Speaker 4: if I had just waited. We all grew up super religious, 1175 00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:18,280 Speaker 4: but these days my mother could care less about such 1176 00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:21,680 Speaker 4: arbitrary rules, and he's actually excited for a grand baby. 1177 00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:25,680 Speaker 4: It's our grandmother who's strict about religion. Honestly advice right 1178 00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:30,000 Speaker 4: off the bat, literally completely ignored this kid. Just refuse 1179 00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:31,320 Speaker 4: to engage. 1180 00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:33,080 Speaker 6: I immediately, And maybe it's just the way that you were. 1181 00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:35,720 Speaker 6: The voice that you were giving him got the vibes 1182 00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:39,600 Speaker 6: from finding Nemo of that one fish that's like, I'm obnoxious. 1183 00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:44,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, he's obnoxious on purpose, So just don't engage. It's 1184 00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:47,840 Speaker 4: not satisfying when there's no engagement. I've been trying to 1185 00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:50,560 Speaker 4: be patient with him, thinking maybe he's just feeling jealous 1186 00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:52,640 Speaker 4: that he won't be the youngest in our family and 1187 00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:55,960 Speaker 4: won't get all our mother's attention anymore, which is probably true. 1188 00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:58,720 Speaker 4: Despite all of his little comments and attempts at getting 1189 00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:01,080 Speaker 4: me to start fights with him and purposely doing things 1190 00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:03,840 Speaker 4: to agitate me, I've remained as calm as possible and 1191 00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:07,480 Speaker 4: simply removed myself from the situations for both my own 1192 00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:10,720 Speaker 4: peace of mind and to not disturb the strained functionality 1193 00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:12,840 Speaker 4: of the household. But the other day, when I was 1194 00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:15,600 Speaker 4: talking to our other brother about what gender my baby 1195 00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:18,840 Speaker 4: might be and name ideas my partner had thought of, 1196 00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:21,760 Speaker 4: he alright told me something rude about my baby. At 1197 00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:25,880 Speaker 4: this I finally lost it, Like, how dare he insult 1198 00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:29,560 Speaker 4: my child like that? Insult me all you want, sure 1199 00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:31,320 Speaker 4: a thing. I can deal with that until I get 1200 00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:34,240 Speaker 4: to move out, But to insult my unborn child just 1201 00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:38,560 Speaker 4: because you're feeling insecure something, No way, buddy, I screamed 1202 00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:40,560 Speaker 4: at him, telling him I'm sick and tired of how 1203 00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:43,520 Speaker 4: unfair he's been towards me lately. And guess what now 1204 00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:46,000 Speaker 4: he's gonna know to always make fun of the baby 1205 00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:48,080 Speaker 4: because that's what makes you upset. 1206 00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,880 Speaker 6: I wonder, though, if he'll actually be a little bit 1207 00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:54,720 Speaker 6: taken aback that. She even yelled back, I like it 1208 00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:56,480 Speaker 6: could kind of go either way, Like if she was 1209 00:58:56,520 --> 00:59:01,120 Speaker 6: scary enough, he might stop, but if he's also like 1210 00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:02,920 Speaker 6: found the breaking point. 1211 00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:04,240 Speaker 4: I feel like it's gotta be. 1212 00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:07,240 Speaker 6: Let's find these people that don't get mad. Though, then 1213 00:59:07,240 --> 00:59:09,120 Speaker 6: when you see the mad, you're like, oh. 1214 00:59:08,840 --> 00:59:11,880 Speaker 4: Let's find out. We got into a huge fight, and 1215 00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:14,960 Speaker 4: he tried to threaten me. I brought up stuff he 1216 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:17,120 Speaker 4: had done to me before he started going to therapy 1217 00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:19,000 Speaker 4: and how I wasn't afraid to call the cops on 1218 00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:21,480 Speaker 4: a kid if I had to. He continued screaming back 1219 00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:23,520 Speaker 4: at me, at which point I pushed him away to 1220 00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:27,200 Speaker 4: create some distance. I can't let you get close. I've 1221 00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:32,600 Speaker 4: never defended myself before. He was shocked, speechless, eyes wide, mouth, 1222 00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:35,880 Speaker 4: finally shot. I took the opportunity to shove him away 1223 00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:38,400 Speaker 4: so I could get out from between him and the wall, 1224 00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:41,280 Speaker 4: and stated firmly when I moved out, I'm not letting 1225 00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:43,680 Speaker 4: you have anything to do with me or my child. 1226 00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:45,920 Speaker 4: You will never be allowed to see it or go 1227 00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:48,840 Speaker 4: near it ever. Do you understand me? And I left 1228 00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:51,200 Speaker 4: the house to get some fresh air. Of course, when 1229 00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:54,120 Speaker 4: Mom got home from the grocery shopping, my little brother 1230 00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:57,160 Speaker 4: immediately went and cried. Dady told her all about it, 1231 00:59:57,320 --> 01:00:01,160 Speaker 4: an exaggerated version, for sure, and he had everything to 1232 01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:04,200 Speaker 4: prove his sob story. My mom rings me up, yelling 1233 01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:06,200 Speaker 4: and cussing at me and telling me I need to 1234 01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:07,440 Speaker 4: be the bigger person. 1235 01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:09,720 Speaker 8: Okay, wait, what proof did he have? 1236 01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:11,920 Speaker 4: My feelings? 1237 01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:12,760 Speaker 8: You can see them. 1238 01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:13,560 Speaker 6: They're so hurt. 1239 01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:17,400 Speaker 8: My feelings is so hurt. My tear drops they fall. 1240 01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:20,480 Speaker 8: She's so mean to me, she said. 1241 01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:24,560 Speaker 4: I will always make you the stinky man. I don't know, 1242 01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:27,040 Speaker 4: and that one I don't know. I don't know what 1243 01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:29,760 Speaker 4: proof yet. I tried to explain my side of the story, 1244 01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:31,560 Speaker 4: but she was having none of it. Crazy. Your mom's 1245 01:00:31,640 --> 01:00:32,920 Speaker 4: yelling at you the pregnant one. 1246 01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:35,880 Speaker 6: Also crazy, that mom, who knows that brother has had 1247 01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:39,439 Speaker 6: these problems in the past, isn't like, oh, yeah, that's 1248 01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:39,880 Speaker 6: your brother. 1249 01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:42,840 Speaker 4: Well it needs to be like, just because someone has 1250 01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:45,320 Speaker 4: behavioral issues doesn't give an excuse from their behavior. 1251 01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:48,320 Speaker 6: I just meant like that she's immediately believing you because 1252 01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:50,040 Speaker 6: that's what your brother's done before. 1253 01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:52,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, she told me that it was no excuse and 1254 01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:55,440 Speaker 4: I had no right to fight her precious little baby, 1255 01:00:55,680 --> 01:00:59,280 Speaker 4: even if he was being a prisk. She told me 1256 01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:01,560 Speaker 4: what I had said said was going way too far, 1257 01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:03,760 Speaker 4: and that my brother would be having contact with my 1258 01:01:03,880 --> 01:01:06,600 Speaker 4: child regardless of how I felt about him or what 1259 01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:08,720 Speaker 4: he'd done in the past. That if she was going 1260 01:01:08,760 --> 01:01:11,040 Speaker 4: to be in my child's life, then he would be too, 1261 01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:13,320 Speaker 4: and I had no say in the matter because he 1262 01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,840 Speaker 4: would be a good uncle and deserves a relationship with 1263 01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:17,600 Speaker 4: his niece or nephew. He then went on a whole 1264 01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:19,800 Speaker 4: guilt trip, reminding me how much my brother has been 1265 01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:22,520 Speaker 4: trying so hard to better himself with therapy and helping 1266 01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:24,680 Speaker 4: out with the community through the youth center at the 1267 01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:27,400 Speaker 4: local church, how well we were getting along on holiday, 1268 01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:29,600 Speaker 4: and how much he's been helping her out lately, and 1269 01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:32,360 Speaker 4: then basically told me I was overreacting about everything because 1270 01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,680 Speaker 4: of pregnancy hormones and I'd get over it all once 1271 01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:37,080 Speaker 4: the baby was born. I scoffed and told her, plain 1272 01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:40,040 Speaker 4: and simple, I was not ever letting the satan spawn 1273 01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:43,280 Speaker 4: near my child. Then I hung up. Well, she's been 1274 01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:45,640 Speaker 4: sour with me for days and even started making her 1275 01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:48,320 Speaker 4: own underhanded comments towards me. Now she makes me feel 1276 01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:50,280 Speaker 4: bad for what I said and trying to make me 1277 01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:53,480 Speaker 4: apologize to my brother. She says, I'm being unfair and 1278 01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:56,920 Speaker 4: a witch. So guys, am I a witch for finally 1279 01:01:56,960 --> 01:02:00,040 Speaker 4: standing up for myself and standing my ground on not 1280 01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:01,960 Speaker 4: letting my brother have contact. When I move out and 1281 01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:05,200 Speaker 4: the baby is born and there is an update, I think, 1282 01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:08,080 Speaker 4: like if we take a breath and just to say, hey, 1283 01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:10,720 Speaker 4: I'm not letting you have any contact until you change 1284 01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:11,800 Speaker 4: the way you act with me. 1285 01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:15,640 Speaker 6: Yeah, I think that moving out could still be a 1286 01:02:15,680 --> 01:02:18,160 Speaker 6: good idea to get that distance. If you can move 1287 01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:22,600 Speaker 6: out and then like reassessing as things. 1288 01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:28,120 Speaker 4: Go, because he's still thirteen thirteen in therapy with behavioral problems. 1289 01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:32,640 Speaker 6: Yeah, but he definitely needs to like not be threatening 1290 01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:36,800 Speaker 6: me and my child before he can see the child. 1291 01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:41,920 Speaker 4: There needs to be tangible changes to the behavior and 1292 01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:44,880 Speaker 4: then you can see me and the baby and be 1293 01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:48,720 Speaker 4: around us. But until then, my partner went no contact 1294 01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:51,400 Speaker 4: with his awful parents and his family disowned him because 1295 01:02:51,440 --> 01:02:54,360 Speaker 4: of this. So no, I can't stay with them. I 1296 01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:57,160 Speaker 4: have no other family I can stay with. My grandmother's 1297 01:02:57,160 --> 01:03:01,040 Speaker 4: place was destroyed in the recent floods. I'm no contact 1298 01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:03,520 Speaker 4: with my father and have no idea where he is. 1299 01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,040 Speaker 4: I have no friends in the state that I can 1300 01:03:06,040 --> 01:03:08,760 Speaker 4: stay with. My partner is staying with the guy he 1301 01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:10,840 Speaker 4: met in high school that lives in the town we're 1302 01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:13,560 Speaker 4: moving to. It's a studio apartment and he's sleeping on 1303 01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:15,920 Speaker 4: the couch. They don't know each other all that well, 1304 01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:18,200 Speaker 4: and I don't know the guy at all. The women's 1305 01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:20,040 Speaker 4: shelter in my town is run by the church that 1306 01:03:20,080 --> 01:03:23,240 Speaker 4: my brother attends and volunteers for. Everyone at church believes 1307 01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:25,480 Speaker 4: he's a saint, and I don't trust them to keep 1308 01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:28,000 Speaker 4: him away from me. Well, it might be good if 1309 01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:31,160 Speaker 4: you go to the shelter and then people will see, Oh, 1310 01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:33,800 Speaker 4: this guy is treating his sister like garbage. 1311 01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:34,720 Speaker 6: Yeah. 1312 01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:37,280 Speaker 4: I sustained a serious shoulder injury at work a few 1313 01:03:37,280 --> 01:03:40,320 Speaker 4: months back, and my pregnancy is considered high risk. Even 1314 01:03:40,360 --> 01:03:42,680 Speaker 4: if I wanted to work, I'm literally not allowed to. 1315 01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:45,640 Speaker 4: We are currently trying to move out, and my midwives 1316 01:03:45,720 --> 01:03:48,800 Speaker 4: are aware of the situation. They've taken down notes and 1317 01:03:48,840 --> 01:03:51,720 Speaker 4: that's about it. I live in Australia. We have centrelinks, 1318 01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:54,280 Speaker 4: so I'm not completely without income. On top of this, 1319 01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:57,880 Speaker 4: I've got workers comp for the shoulder injury. I'm also Indigenous, 1320 01:03:57,960 --> 01:04:01,760 Speaker 4: so I get a little extra for healthcare. All and 1321 01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:07,400 Speaker 4: antenatal and ultrasound appointments and other doctor visits are paid 1322 01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:10,800 Speaker 4: for by the government. Also, all hospital bills are covered 1323 01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:15,240 Speaker 4: by Medicare, and I have odd HD, so I get 1324 01:04:15,280 --> 01:04:17,760 Speaker 4: free therapy and support AIDS. Money is not a big 1325 01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:20,200 Speaker 4: concern right now. Yes, I plan on going back to 1326 01:04:20,280 --> 01:04:22,960 Speaker 4: work once we're settled into the new house and i'mtically 1327 01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:25,200 Speaker 4: cleared to do so. I really don't want to have 1328 01:04:25,240 --> 01:04:28,080 Speaker 4: to rely on Centerlink forever. It makes me feel gross. 1329 01:04:28,600 --> 01:04:32,680 Speaker 4: I don't know what to do, sweetie, that's HOWRD. That's 1330 01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:35,360 Speaker 4: a real hard situation to be in. I might just 1331 01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:38,400 Speaker 4: go to the shelter if I've got nowhere else to go, 1332 01:04:39,200 --> 01:04:41,440 Speaker 4: or try to just figure it out at home. I 1333 01:04:41,520 --> 01:04:42,960 Speaker 4: know it's hard to forgive. 1334 01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:44,560 Speaker 6: I think you got to get out of the house. 1335 01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:46,840 Speaker 6: That's causing a lot. 1336 01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:50,760 Speaker 4: I think I know that you are justified and being upset, 1337 01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:54,400 Speaker 4: but I think just being like, hey, I'm sorry everything 1338 01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:57,080 Speaker 4: has happened the way it has. You know, this is 1339 01:04:57,160 --> 01:04:59,760 Speaker 4: hard on all of us, just kind of you know, 1340 01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:03,080 Speaker 4: because in life there come moments always where you will 1341 01:05:03,120 --> 01:05:06,320 Speaker 4: have to swallow your feelings and your pride and have 1342 01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:10,840 Speaker 4: to say and make decisions for the greater peace of 1343 01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:11,800 Speaker 4: a given situation. 1344 01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:14,240 Speaker 8: That's fine and dandy and all. 1345 01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:17,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, I will be going no contact with little brother, 1346 01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:19,920 Speaker 4: and after all that has happened, I've also decided to 1347 01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,680 Speaker 4: go very low contact with Mom as soon as I'm 1348 01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:25,160 Speaker 4: able to move out and have a secure living arrangement. 1349 01:05:25,280 --> 01:05:27,840 Speaker 4: My partner is aware of the situation. He wants to 1350 01:05:27,880 --> 01:05:31,240 Speaker 4: file police reports with evidence that we do have against 1351 01:05:31,320 --> 01:05:33,800 Speaker 4: my brother. He promised not to do anything until I 1352 01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:36,840 Speaker 4: moved out and say first in case little brother tries 1353 01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:39,360 Speaker 4: to retaliate. And that is the end of that story.