Speaker 1: I leave in I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way you want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you claim. Give us time and a termino
Speaker 2: and gay.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off InStyle. We wanna welcome
Speaker 3: you back home.
Speaker 4: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine? Malforn? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need ride.
Speaker 5: With Karen and Chris?
Speaker 6: Welcome to Do you need a ride with Karen and Chris.
Speaker 6: Karen isn't here right now. I'm about to pick her up.
Speaker 6: We're going to take her to a show. But with
Speaker 6: me right now is my guest, Henry Phillips, who will
Speaker 6: act as a co host in her absence. But again,
Speaker 6: we're about to pick her up in a couple of minutes,
Speaker 6: so it'll be a temporary change. We'll go back to
Speaker 6: the original format in like two minutes. Hi, Henry, Hey,
Speaker 6: how's it going good?
Speaker 7: How are you? I'm pretty good. That was kind of complicated, Yeah,
Speaker 7: it was.
Speaker 6: I kind of made it more complicated than it really
Speaker 6: needs to be.
Speaker 5: You're the guest.
Speaker 6: Karen's not in the car yet, but we're taking her
Speaker 6: to a show. Usually, Henry, we're taking a comedian to
Speaker 6: an airport where they get on an airplane.
Speaker 7: Oh okay, yeah, that's what I always understood the PREMI yeah,
Speaker 7: but this is cool. It's kind of like a reflexive
Speaker 7: thing where oh, there she is.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that is her, isn't it? Okay, Well I'm going
Speaker 5: to turn around because I did not. Yeah. Usually we
Speaker 5: go to Lax, someone gets on.
Speaker 6: A plane, and then they go off to their destination
Speaker 6: and do their comedy in another town. But today we're
Speaker 6: just gonna take care of downtown. She's got some art house,
Speaker 6: flop house, hippie show.
Speaker 5: I don't know where.
Speaker 6: I don't know if it's hippie themed, probably probably if
Speaker 6: it's downtown.
Speaker 7: A bunch of pink kill comedies down there.
Speaker 6: Yeah, downtown it's kind of just been run over overrun
Speaker 6: by hippies.
Speaker 5: Yeah, everyone knows that.
Speaker 6: And they all they're disguised because they're dressed like business men.
Speaker 5: Yeah, wearing suits.
Speaker 7: Right, they're expensive condos, Like you wouldn't expect hippies to
Speaker 7: be in expensive condos, but that's how they stay undercover.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and to work at like banks downtown in a
Speaker 6: Metropolitan Area.
Speaker 5: Hi, there's Karen right now. She's got her guitar. All right,
Speaker 5: I'm going to unlock the door.
Speaker 7: I'm so glad I'm not. I don't have a guitar.
Speaker 6: Yeah, two guitars in one car. It's like you might
Speaker 6: as well be filled with clowns. Oh, I think she
Speaker 6: wants to open the.
Speaker 5: I'm always embarrassed when people see inside my trunk.
Speaker 7: Yeah. I actually have a story about that that we
Speaker 7: can get into maybe when she gets in. It's a
Speaker 7: funny story. Hikay, how's it going?
Speaker 5: Hi, guys, how are you good? Terrific?
Speaker 1: Are you serious?
Speaker 7: Yeah? Yeah it was?
Speaker 1: Is this a serious podcast?
Speaker 6: This is a serious one. I really want to know
Speaker 6: how you are. Okay, you were getting into the.
Speaker 5: Uh the uh the boot of my car, as they
Speaker 5: say in England. I was just in England.
Speaker 1: So you still have that left over?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't call it a trunk anymore.
Speaker 6: But Henry saidley as really he really built it up
Speaker 6: a really great trunk story.
Speaker 7: I know it is a good story. Good to see you,
Speaker 7: Good to see you too.
Speaker 6: Oh, I'm sorry, Henry, Karen, you guys know, yeah, yeah, yeah, Karen.
Speaker 6: Henry's our guest on the show, so I had him
Speaker 6: co hosting before we.
Speaker 7: Picked you up.
Speaker 1: Henry welcome.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're in your car.
Speaker 1: You should go right here, sorry, right here, and you can.
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh that's great. Am I going to go up
Speaker 5: that exciting hill so you can make a left at
Speaker 5: the light?
Speaker 7: Is what is that? What you mean?
Speaker 5: I don't know if I could go up that hill.
Speaker 5: That's a very.
Speaker 1: Steep That's kind of an unsung hill.
Speaker 5: In that's vine straight.
Speaker 6: That's dick Dick that dis goes straight up for so
Speaker 6: many reasons.
Speaker 1: That's the best.
Speaker 8: Line in Richemont High. Mister hands tells somebody.
Speaker 7: Oh, yeah, that was fantastic.
Speaker 9: You know.
Speaker 7: When I was I think one of the very first
Speaker 7: times I smoked pot. I was a late bloomer with that.
Speaker 7: And I watched Wayne's World and in the beginning he
Speaker 7: says he's got that thing called the suck cut, that
Speaker 7: he's interviewing a guy who has it's like a flowby
Speaker 7: haircutting thing, and Mike Myers says, well, it definitely does suck.
Speaker 7: And I literally I laughed throughout the entire movie, but
Speaker 7: just at that one joke, that's the only thing I
Speaker 7: was laughing at. My friend was like, man, you love
Speaker 7: that movie. And then he was asking me about it
Speaker 7: and I was like, I couldn't tell you anything. I
Speaker 7: just thought that one joke was an hour and a
Speaker 7: half where its funny literally just giggled throughout the whole
Speaker 7: thing at the same joke.
Speaker 5: I'm going downtown, right, Karen.
Speaker 8: Yeah, so if you go straight through here, you can
Speaker 8: jump on the one on one side.
Speaker 7: Oh, there you go. Oh, I got it.
Speaker 5: So what's your trunk story, Henry?
Speaker 7: Okay? So he said that he was he was a
Speaker 7: little vulnerable feeling when you when it opened.
Speaker 1: Oh, I saw his private stores there. Yeah, so diary.
Speaker 7: So years ago, years ago, probably in the nineties or so.
Speaker 7: I a buddy of mine was moving out or he
Speaker 7: was moving in with his girlfriend, and he had a
Speaker 7: giant trunk full of porn and he asked me if
Speaker 7: I could take it off his hands, and I was like, what,
Speaker 7: I don't. And I'm not trying to be one of
Speaker 7: these high and mighty like I don't look at porn,
Speaker 7: but I but I certainly didn't have a trunk full
Speaker 7: of it, and I don't need a trunk full of porn.
Speaker 1: But anyway, is that kind of repetitious yeah, theme, but.
Speaker 7: He just did not want it to be thrown away,
Speaker 7: like he had a real problem with it. He thought
Speaker 7: it was valuable or something.
Speaker 5: Every time he was aroused he had to go out
Speaker 5: to his car and get.
Speaker 7: The poor Oh no, no, I'm sorry. He had a
Speaker 7: trunk like one of those pirates trunks, you know, like
Speaker 7: a giant.
Speaker 1: It was true treasure.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it was like a treasure chest full of porn.
Speaker 7: So uh, anyway, and it was really heavy, you know,
Speaker 7: but he just didn't want to throw it away. And
Speaker 7: he goes, just just take it off my hands because
Speaker 7: I can't bring it in too, you know, live with
Speaker 7: my girlfriend. So I said, okay, So we put it
Speaker 7: in my car trunk and it was all real hardcore,
Speaker 7: you know, this stuff you know with girls on the
Speaker 7: front with venuses in their mouths.
Speaker 5: Like a fann.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's my favorite when it's fanned out like a peacock.
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So anyway, I put it in there.
Speaker 7: I forget all about it. A couple months later, a
Speaker 7: buddy of mine and I, my friend Evan and I
Speaker 7: were going to a poker game.
Speaker 5: I know, he was on growing pains.
Speaker 7: Yeah he's great, and uh we brought We brought uh tequila,
Speaker 7: just as a gesture to bring something to the party,
Speaker 7: and we put it in my trunk and literally forgot
Speaker 7: all about it. So then I'm driving around for a
Speaker 7: few more months and I start smelling in my car.
Speaker 7: It smells like tequila, and I can't figure out why.
Speaker 7: I'm like, what the hell is this? And uh, it's
Speaker 7: like the whole car stinks, and I'm like, I didn't
Speaker 7: spill any I don't understand. Okay, So cut to a
Speaker 7: couple months later, even with driving around with this car
Speaker 7: that smells like, no, not at all. It's hard to believe,
Speaker 7: but I just didn't. I used to put my guitar
Speaker 7: in my back seat, I guess when I would drive
Speaker 7: around and okay, so now so cut to I'm at
Speaker 7: a birthday party for like a thirteen year old boy
Speaker 7: or two twins, thirteen year old boys that were friends
Speaker 7: of mine's kids, and they all made me sing a song,
Speaker 7: and so I picked a clean song. I have a
Speaker 7: song called the Happy Song, and it was a real
Speaker 7: hit at the birthday and everybody liked it. And my
Speaker 7: first album doesn't have any bad words or anything on it.
Speaker 7: And so you already see where I'm going with this.
Speaker 7: So anyway, one of the moms was like, that is
Speaker 7: so great. Do you have a CD? And I'm of
Speaker 7: course broke. I'm like, yeah, I got CDs in my
Speaker 7: trunk and they're like great, and so like these moms
Speaker 7: and the kids and everybody come out and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 7: I'll sell you something. And I opened my door and
Speaker 7: there there's this waft of cloud of tequila and that
Speaker 7: comes out and there's just scattered peacock cocks of porn,
Speaker 7: like tequila is soaked porn all over the place, and
Speaker 7: I'm trying to get the CDs and there's like they're
Speaker 7: literally Mom's just looking right in. Oh, this guy's a
Speaker 7: horrible person. And I was like, oh no, that my
Speaker 7: friend had a trunk call of porn and it's awful
Speaker 7: to try to explain it. And then there was tequila
Speaker 7: that we brought to a poker game, and they probably
Speaker 7: had to sit their kids down and be like, well,
Speaker 7: when you get to be older, there's gonna be certain things.
Speaker 1: There's a sadness.
Speaker 7: Unless yeah, I like that.
Speaker 1: Come on, all you families come out to my trunk.
Speaker 5: That's such a you gotta put that in the clown.
Speaker 7: That would be good.
Speaker 1: That's hilarious, Henry.
Speaker 5: It's a movie called Punching the Clown. Have you seen
Speaker 5: Punching the Clown?
Speaker 1: Karen, I haven't seen it.
Speaker 7: It's on Hulu dot com for free, so you don't
Speaker 7: have to pay or anything.
Speaker 1: You have to remember your password to Hulu.
Speaker 7: Yeah, no, I don't think you do. Actually, it's not
Speaker 7: on Plus. It's it's just regular. Yeah, it's just regular
Speaker 7: old Hulu. Yeah, we're not getting any money. You.
Speaker 5: You have no more excuses, Karen.
Speaker 6: She's always talking about the reasons she hasn't seen your movie.
Speaker 7: Look, oh that's all right.
Speaker 1: Look I don't want to see that, mon No, I
Speaker 1: don't want.
Speaker 7: The thing is, I don't I don't care if people
Speaker 7: haven't seen it. I just want them to know that
Speaker 7: I made a movie. That's even better. It's like when
Speaker 7: you when you're on the road, like I've always done
Speaker 7: better at meeting girls when they didn't see my show,
Speaker 7: but they knew I was the guy performing. Sure, right,
Speaker 7: then they're like, oh he's something, And then that way
Speaker 7: my act doesn't have to screw it up.
Speaker 6: Yeah, if you just say you made a movie, everyone's
Speaker 6: fans see in their head that they it's going.
Speaker 7: To be the best movie ever.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they think about Star Wars.
Speaker 6: They just immediately think of Star Wars, Star Wars or
Speaker 6: Transformers three, and that's the movie you made.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And so all of a sudden, you're Michael Bay
Speaker 5: at these people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're just several explosions.
Speaker 7: But that is starting to get watered downe Can.
Speaker 8: I tell you guys that I have I left my
Speaker 8: house this morning at ten a m.
Speaker 1: And I haven't been back since. I've been wearing the
Speaker 1: same outfit.
Speaker 5: You feel sweaty, you feel yes, sure.
Speaker 7: Way, Yeah, I'm say I'm wearing the same clothes that
Speaker 7: I was.
Speaker 5: Sorry, I think really bad. That's okay.
Speaker 6: That's my car phone everyone, Oh car, Yeah, I leave
Speaker 6: it on just to uh, just to you know, help
Speaker 6: reinforce the atmosphere that is in the interior of my
Speaker 6: eight Honda Core.
Speaker 8: It's a black rotary though, yeah, from nineteen forty four in.
Speaker 5: My car when that stretched coily cord.
Speaker 7: No.
Speaker 8: Well, I was just saying it's just odd because I
Speaker 8: literally you've been out of my house now for twelve
Speaker 8: straight hours. I usually figure out a way to go home,
Speaker 8: but for some reason, I had all these things today. Yeah,
Speaker 8: I'll brags several appointments and a lot and even just
Speaker 8: now I was going to go home and like before
Speaker 8: meeting you and realize we don't have time because I'm
Speaker 8: already late for this show.
Speaker 5: Are you are? We made you more late?
Speaker 8: No, no, no, I was already I was going to
Speaker 8: be late. I don't I'm usually on later on shows. Anyway,
Speaker 8: I'm assuming.
Speaker 7: You get a lot of that. They always think, well,
Speaker 7: the guitar is going to be last, because it's hard
Speaker 7: to follow exactly. But I have to say, and I
Speaker 7: know people don't mean to be mean, but that's kind
Speaker 7: of implying that the kind of humor that you're doing
Speaker 7: is more hacky or something like. I always I always
Speaker 7: assume when people know that you have a guitar, they're like, oh,
Speaker 7: you're going to do wasting away and diarrhea or.
Speaker 8: I mean, there is a there's a real bias actually comic.
Speaker 7: Both you and I, I think, do a more dry
Speaker 7: form of guitar. I think.
Speaker 6: You guys America's sweetheart.
Speaker 1: That's right, Henry and I make it. We change. We're
Speaker 1: going to change the way you think.
Speaker 6: About guitar, because the only way I was comparing you
Speaker 6: to is that you're both my friends, but I just
Speaker 6: now realize you both do stand up with a guitar.
Speaker 7: Yes, and playing in the clubs. I've had to get
Speaker 7: some songs in there that that hack it up, which
Speaker 7: aren't my favorite ones. But I think when I play
Speaker 7: around town, it's almost a bad idea for me to
Speaker 7: go on because there's there's a lot of comics that
Speaker 7: move around way more and they're more their voices are
Speaker 7: more dynamic and sort of bigger acts than my slower,
Speaker 7: you know, kind of folky songs.
Speaker 1: You know, you mean, other guitar comics are just ra no.
Speaker 7: Like comics on a given show. I guess what I'm
Speaker 7: saying is I don't like it when they make me
Speaker 7: go last because I have a guitar, because there as
Speaker 7: soon mean that my act is also bigger somehow and
Speaker 7: that it's hard to follow.
Speaker 8: I did some show and they were going to put
Speaker 8: Matt Broncer after me, and I was like, no, No,
Speaker 8: Broncer goes last.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, yeah for all him before.
Speaker 8: You Like, yeah, that guy's a closer in every sense
Speaker 8: of the word. I'm going to have songs that stop
Speaker 8: people from nothing and make them sound.
Speaker 7: You know, I think I think where it works best
Speaker 7: is uh, right in the middle.
Speaker 1: I like to back clean up.
Speaker 7: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Could just go ahead and go number four.
Speaker 6: I have never, ever once been intimidated by the placement
Speaker 6: of a guitar comic.
Speaker 5: And I say that entirely.
Speaker 7: That's great. But a lot of people, uh don't feel
Speaker 7: Oh they're biggots.
Speaker 6: No, they are biggest their cowards, They're cowardly.
Speaker 7: First of all, Well, I think I think guitar comics.
Speaker 7: Guitar comics have had to undergo a lot of the
Speaker 7: same persecution. I think that the African Americans were almost
Speaker 7: as long women.
Speaker 1: The Chinese.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I've always compared it to suffrage women suffrage.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, I'm speaking of suffering. Is that what you said? Suffering?
Speaker 5: Oh, suffrage.
Speaker 6: I'm not sure what it means, but if you mention it,
Speaker 6: it seems like you went to college.
Speaker 7: It's a lot of suffrage.
Speaker 8: Can I just say that I just realized that basically,
Speaker 8: I'm forcing both of you to go to this show
Speaker 8: of mine.
Speaker 7: It's okay, Oh, in a weird way, It's going to
Speaker 7: be great. I literally have nothing to do for the
Speaker 7: next one hundred days.
Speaker 5: This is so fun, it's going to be great.
Speaker 7: This is a good night.
Speaker 8: No, it's you know when you get I mean like
Speaker 8: we talk about that with people who were dropping them off.
Speaker 8: But like in town, I get super depressed when.
Speaker 7: I go to no, I know how you feel, well,
Speaker 7: I feel.
Speaker 8: Very alone, especially if I don't know at least like
Speaker 8: one person on the show. And when it's over, even
Speaker 8: if I do well, there's some kind of weird soul suck.
Speaker 7: I know. No, I know if you well, you did
Speaker 7: the same show I did a month prior. I think
Speaker 7: I just did the Eagle Rock Show.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, uh yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 7: That that was a really good one. But yeah, I
Speaker 7: did feel empty inside afterward when everybody left and it
Speaker 7: was just me but with my guitar by myself waiting
Speaker 7: for Uber.
Speaker 1: That's the Eric di Durian and.
Speaker 7: Uh and Eric. Yeah, both very funny guys.
Speaker 1: It's such a good show. And the acoustics are so
Speaker 1: good in that room.
Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, and the people were great. It was such
Speaker 7: a good show, really fun. I like, I'm actually more
Speaker 7: happy about going to this show because I'm not on it. Like,
Speaker 7: do you ever get that? Like I tell people, like
Speaker 7: because sometimes they'll be like, hey, do you mind tweeting
Speaker 7: about my show that I that I'm on, And I
Speaker 7: want to be like, let me tweet about ones that
Speaker 7: I'm not on, Like next week I'll tweet this is
Speaker 7: a great show. But I don't want.
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel like gross?
Speaker 7: Yeah I know, Yeah, I don't like that. I don't.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's weird when comics don't any longer find joy
Speaker 6: and watching stand up that it's strange to me because
Speaker 6: I still love watching the show.
Speaker 5: Karen came to my show the.
Speaker 7: Other night, awesome, which one the improv Yeah.
Speaker 5: It was just a show.
Speaker 6: It's not Uh, it's just my point is I enjoy
Speaker 6: Watchers show.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we Huntsburgers show I had.
Speaker 8: You know why, I really like that because like when
Speaker 8: we do the improv shows, you kind of it's gonna
Speaker 8: be a pretty quality show across the board, Like you're
Speaker 8: gonna get a standard, if not above standard.
Speaker 5: Show, especially if one of us is on it.
Speaker 1: Exactly then you're guaranteed that's just Yeah.
Speaker 8: But like that show David Huntsburger's there was like people
Speaker 8: who'd never done stand up before, and it was a
Speaker 8: weird room.
Speaker 1: There was a weird vibe people.
Speaker 7: Were, Oh, that's right, he does that on purpose. Yet,
Speaker 7: but that's only one person, right, yeah, yeah, it was.
Speaker 5: Like someone read poetry.
Speaker 7: I don't. I'm oh, this is the one at the
Speaker 7: the bar in East Hollywood, or yeah, yeah, I've done that.
Speaker 8: Copper Still, it was fun to watch it was It
Speaker 8: made me think. It made me think of jokes, and
Speaker 8: I just cared, like and that one that woman who
Speaker 8: was a transgendered that got up, who was great. I
Speaker 8: was so worried because I saw her rehearsing her lines
Speaker 8: to a wall.
Speaker 5: She was pacing around.
Speaker 7: I'm like, this is this a Craigslist one or was
Speaker 7: it a comic?
Speaker 5: I don't know?
Speaker 1: Someone he knew because she had that cartoon.
Speaker 5: Oh right right.
Speaker 1: It was just really charming and she did great.
Speaker 7: You remember the name?
Speaker 1: She worked on Yo Gaba Gabba and we don't. It
Speaker 1: was really hilarious.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna speak for Karen when I say we don't
Speaker 6: remember her name?
Speaker 7: We do not, Okay, right, I think you guys are homophobic.
Speaker 1: What they do is their business. I don't want to
Speaker 1: remember their names.
Speaker 7: Yeah, well you know, and it's not your responsibility. It's
Speaker 7: like they can do that, but I have the right
Speaker 7: not to know their names.
Speaker 1: I have the right to block out first and last names, right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't care what you do in the bedroom.
Speaker 6: I just don't want to learn your name.
Speaker 7: It'll be a really specific, weird kind of homophobia.
Speaker 1: And I care what you do in the bedroom.
Speaker 5: I love gay people. I love what they do sexually.
Speaker 5: I watched their port but I don't like their goddamn names.
Speaker 7: I'm not learning your name.
Speaker 6: Names like Craig or yes or makes me sick. But
Speaker 6: please turn back on butt Banger's volume.
Speaker 5: I'll come on. I had to ruin well.
Speaker 8: I liked it because it felt like longer than a
Speaker 8: sketch that was like a scene.
Speaker 1: It was a.
Speaker 6: Monolog I was a one person monologue that got very
Speaker 6: serious in the end.
Speaker 5: And I shouldn't have backed out.
Speaker 8: And we learned a lesson, just so you know you're
Speaker 8: gonna go h. I guess east on the one ten
Speaker 8: when we get down to the one ten.
Speaker 7: Is it? Is it okay? Is it legal to do
Speaker 7: other people's bits on here? Because I wanted to do one.
Speaker 5: As long as you preface it.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's a Todd Glass always does this thing. It's
Speaker 7: the imitation of like a guy who's talking about how
Speaker 7: much he killed. But then when he finds out that
Speaker 7: the person was there, he changes the whole story, like
Speaker 7: here so you have to say that you were there.
Speaker 7: So it's like, oh, man, I went up to the
Speaker 7: improv annihilated dude. It was like, I don't know, it's
Speaker 7: this one of those times when I'm just totally killing.
Speaker 5: Are you talking about Wednesday night?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 1: We were there.
Speaker 7: I was there. Well. The thing is the way that
Speaker 7: place is set up. You've got like the lights and
Speaker 7: just sort of like, I don't know, they can't hear you,
Speaker 7: Like it's totally just jumps the other way. That's Douglass
Speaker 7: money guy. He's got a book.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 5: I want to read his book.
Speaker 1: He I saw him at the improv the other night.
Speaker 8: He was so hilarious, but he was straight up screaming
Speaker 8: at the crowd almost the whole time.
Speaker 5: He does sometimes he screams at the crown.
Speaker 1: But he can do it. He can do it and
Speaker 1: do it and do it and still turn it at
Speaker 1: the end and make it funny.
Speaker 5: My favorite joke of is is, oh, you're.
Speaker 1: Going north, sorry North?
Speaker 6: In the one time no one thank you, when he
Speaker 6: said someone goes up to him.
Speaker 7: Doesn't my breath smell like oh yeah, yeah, that's a
Speaker 7: great one.
Speaker 5: My breath smell like tacos. I don't know. Do you
Speaker 5: put cat shit in your tacos?
Speaker 7: That is so good?
Speaker 6: It's just uh that tickles, mate, it's good and gross.
Speaker 5: I still need to get over.
Speaker 7: Or maybe not.
Speaker 1: No, no, I think you're good?
Speaker 7: Okay good?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 7: Oh no you will you do? I do?
Speaker 1: I bet this middle ink could go either.
Speaker 7: No, I don't want to be yeah, oh no it doesn't.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I was wrong, straight up wrong.
Speaker 7: So I don't want to be the comic who does
Speaker 7: the same thing every your comic does. But have people
Speaker 7: made jokes about getting if you do get in an accident,
Speaker 7: that you've got it completely documented.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, like a black box situation.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that we will post on all things coomedy dot com.
Speaker 5: Listen to me losing.
Speaker 7: My leg That would be the good final.
Speaker 5: Episode and I know that.
Speaker 1: And that's the transcripts of the trial.
Speaker 6: I was found negligent. I miss my friends. Well that's
Speaker 6: been a very to be continued episode.
Speaker 7: Of Yes No, yeah no.
Speaker 10: But just for the people out there, Chris has a headset. Yeah,
Speaker 10: very I look very distracted. Yeah, it's dangerous. We've said
Speaker 10: it before this it's a dangerous podcast. Yeah, because am
Speaker 10: I getting off here?
Speaker 1: It might be now No, I don't think.
Speaker 7: So okay, do you want.
Speaker 1: I think take the next exit?
Speaker 7: Whatever it is Academy Rode Is it downtown? Do you
Speaker 7: want me to put it into my ways?
Speaker 1: I'm looking at it because.
Speaker 7: A lot of plugs ways Yeah, yeah, Todd Glasses.
Speaker 6: Books Do you Need a Ride? Sponsored by Todd Glass
Speaker 6: and Ways the.
Speaker 7: App, the Todd Glass Situation Movie, Todd Glass, the Book,
Speaker 7: Todd Glass, The Carnival Ride and Apps, Ways the App.
Speaker 5: Sorry, I messed that one up. Out of the way Saturn.
Speaker 7: Okay, what's the address?
Speaker 9: Uh?
Speaker 1: Or the can you get all the way over to
Speaker 1: the right?
Speaker 5: Oh I'm sorry, I will.
Speaker 1: No, No, just whatever it is next because we passed it.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, yeah, here this will work.
Speaker 1: What's the Sorry, I can't find my thing?
Speaker 8: It's nine seven Chunk King Road, so basically, my little dog,
Speaker 8: God damn it. Now we're fucking over here, my little dot.
Speaker 8: As we were driving by, right as it came near
Speaker 8: the pin, skipped forward like.
Speaker 7: It does that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, god, right where I was trying to
Speaker 1: figure out where you should should I get off here?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Oh, I'm gonna.
Speaker 1: Do it because we're way too far right now?
Speaker 7: All right? Is it c h u G? Everybody? Yes?
Speaker 7: Sorry h u n G like like wang chung yep,
Speaker 7: everybody chun king tonight? Oh yeah. And I tried to say, oh,
Speaker 7: we're only half a mile, guys.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we're gonna do guys, don't worry this.
Speaker 6: Really, I'd like to apologize and we usually go and
Speaker 6: Karen's ton to fit even though I feel frightened in it.
Speaker 7: You're gonna make it right.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna make it right on Broadway. I'm gonna be
Speaker 5: a star.
Speaker 8: Every time we get into a thing like this, everyone goes,
Speaker 8: should we look up ways like this is I don't
Speaker 8: know why don't use this app all the time?
Speaker 5: I yeah, don't even downloaded it, and I'm like I can.
Speaker 7: Well, once you do it, it's gonna be you can
Speaker 7: make it talk like Elvis what you can actually put
Speaker 7: your own bays. There's an app where you can make
Speaker 7: yourself be the one giving you direct out of me.
Speaker 7: You do it all day long, so you can be
Speaker 7: like make right this is you.
Speaker 5: By the way, I think you.
Speaker 7: Can make dumb, weird jokes.
Speaker 5: I'm starting to think that guy doesn't need that walk.
Speaker 1: I'm starting to he's using it for his bndles.
Speaker 5: He should have hobo makeup.
Speaker 6: He just had all his belongings on a stick with
Speaker 6: a plastic kerchief.
Speaker 8: Guys, the visuals down college, Oh this is beautiful, This
Speaker 8: is beautiful.
Speaker 7: This is this city? Doth like a garment where the
Speaker 7: beauty of the evening?
Speaker 5: That was beauty?
Speaker 7: Do you just kind of just that?
Speaker 5: Wow?
Speaker 7: I think no, I think my what happens every once
Speaker 7: in a while, My soul gets possessed by John Milton
Speaker 7: the poet, well, which I think Jim Morrison.
Speaker 6: Henry, you used to like tutor high school aged Yeah,
Speaker 6: people it with math and like what did you used
Speaker 6: to tout you're a smart smart person? Yeah you know
Speaker 6: s a g Yeah that's everything.
Speaker 11: Yeah.
Speaker 7: No, well I didn't do the math. I just did
Speaker 7: the all the verbal stuff. But I did. Yeah, we
Speaker 7: taught the analogies of vocabulary, reading, comprehension stuff.
Speaker 5: Like that was any of that stuff?
Speaker 6: Like, boy, this is actually difficult for me, but I'm
Speaker 6: not gonna Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 7: As a matter of fact, there's I have a funny
Speaker 7: story about oh, sorry, dude, that was my bad. College
Speaker 7: is what we wanted.
Speaker 5: We want college screwed up. That's funny that we're talking about.
Speaker 7: About how smart I am.
Speaker 5: And then yeah, I guess didn't take a ride on college.
Speaker 7: Yeah right, yeah, right here.
Speaker 6: That reminds me of any movie where you have to
Speaker 6: beat rich guys in a.
Speaker 1: Contre.
Speaker 5: I think that's because I'm hot. I think my brain
Speaker 5: is it's pretty hot. Okay, all right.
Speaker 8: I love Chinatown. I love Downtown. I really lived in
Speaker 8: a loft apartment downtown.
Speaker 5: I want to live in the movie Rush Hour.
Speaker 1: I want to live in Big Trouble in Little China.
Speaker 7: Tick lives downtown, right, yeah, she does.
Speaker 5: She does, good old tig.
Speaker 7: I blocked by her place a lot, hoping that she's
Speaker 7: going to be around, and I'll drive by sometimes.
Speaker 5: You should knock on the door.
Speaker 1: I should downtown.
Speaker 7: No, no, oh sorry, no straight? Well, oh yeah, we're
Speaker 7: we're just about there. Actually it's it's on this street.
Speaker 7: Yeah I hope it's not. Yeah, you do want to
Speaker 7: go straight?
Speaker 11: Yeah?
Speaker 7: I apologize that.
Speaker 6: It's fun and it's a fun part of our because
Speaker 6: I think a lot of people listen just to hear
Speaker 6: our navigation follies.
Speaker 7: About two blocks. It's going to be on the left.
Speaker 1: They're definitely fetishists that only listen to it for that.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it'll be on the left.
Speaker 5: All right, nothing like right here, Oh that's great.
Speaker 12: Coulate, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna I'm gonna turn. Okay,
Speaker 12: So what was that story where you accidentally Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 12: I didn't know.
Speaker 7: As much as oh yeah, So what happened was I
Speaker 7: was nervous because they put you through a training session.
Speaker 7: I was nervous about going to my first lesson with
Speaker 7: the kids, And I said, what happens if they say, like,
Speaker 7: because they're paying a lot of money for it, you know,
Speaker 7: And it's like, what happens if they say they well,
Speaker 7: if they say like, how long have you been doing this?
Speaker 7: I mean, do I tell them it's my first time?
Speaker 5: I would be so scared of me.
Speaker 7: And then the guy goes The guy who ran the
Speaker 7: company was like, well, just I don't know, blow it off,
Speaker 7: just to be like, just make some joke, like I
Speaker 7: don't know, it feels like it's been forever. So I
Speaker 7: was like, okay. So I go to give my first
Speaker 7: one and it's like this Italian family and the kid.
Speaker 7: We go through the last sound and then afterward they
Speaker 7: sit me down and they're like, how's it going. So, yeah,
Speaker 7: we'd like to know a little bit more about you.
Speaker 7: You know, we've just signed up with the service, and uh,
Speaker 7: I guess the first question would be how long have
Speaker 7: you been working for them? How much experience do you have?
Speaker 7: And I go, uh, you know, it's funny because uh,
Speaker 7: it really feels like it's been forever, and they all
Speaker 7: kind of laugh. Yeah, they were like that's funny, but no, seriously,
Speaker 7: how long have you been working to the company. So
Speaker 7: I'm like, oh, I didn't plan for that. They didn't
Speaker 7: say that they might ask the question again after they
Speaker 7: laugh at the dumb joke.
Speaker 6: I have reoccurring dreams about, for whatever reason, I have
Speaker 6: to cancel all my gigs doing comedy and go back
Speaker 6: to high school because I missed some classes. I have
Speaker 6: dreams about that, and I know it's a premise of
Speaker 6: Adam Sandler Ruby, but it is a fear of mind.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, to not be smart enough to do high
Speaker 6: school work, so I would not have been a good tutor.
Speaker 7: No, I remember, Yeah, I get nightmares about deadlines, like
Speaker 7: I still get that even after twenty years of not
Speaker 7: having any deadlines at all.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you a job right for the newspaper?
Speaker 7: Right?
Speaker 5: No, just I'm confusing deadlines with headlines. Yeah, no, that's right, Karen.
Speaker 5: Are you're back so hot in my car?
Speaker 7: I guess I miss this?
Speaker 5: Fucking it's all I get here?
Speaker 7: Yeah you should probably. Well.
Speaker 1: Oh wait a second, why don't I look at foochow?
Speaker 8: It says here on the wall best stiller movie by
Speaker 8: Jackie Chan rush Hour was shot here.
Speaker 1: My wow, painted like a huge sign.
Speaker 5: Maybe I've read that before? Why would I have said
Speaker 5: that's genius?
Speaker 7: We should take a picture.
Speaker 1: Is it deja vou?
Speaker 5: Do you guys think that I have a special power?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 5: Why would I know that?
Speaker 7: Or or it's the opposite and you did know it
Speaker 7: and you forgot that you knew it?
Speaker 6: Yeah, a special power that is reading comprehension.
Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe I shouldn't.
Speaker 1: School. You're fine, Karen.
Speaker 6: Do you want to just go in your do your
Speaker 6: set and then come back out and we'll continue.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, let's do that.
Speaker 7: Do that. Okay.
Speaker 13: But as her for a Shars Listeners show, and.
Speaker 14: She is the head writer for Help de Generous.
Speaker 15: Spell D E.
Speaker 7: N R.
Speaker 13: O us is your generous and the whole shadow.
Speaker 7: She has a fantastic album, Little.
Speaker 9: One Atu.
Speaker 13: And it's all Karen kill Live at the Bootleg. I
Speaker 13: guess that means you're gonna.
Speaker 1: This is exact.
Speaker 15: Way.
Speaker 10: Alright, you're wearing your shirt for twelve hours called check.
Speaker 1: This, sir, the sure shirt.
Speaker 14: Alright, A loove my show spree.
Speaker 1: I saw more story lovely, but.
Speaker 9: I love net where we.
Speaker 14: Saw six all that you get.
Speaker 1: There evers.
Speaker 14: Over now, said back.
Speaker 9: I wait to see.
Speaker 4: That one thing we saw by accent by if.
Speaker 11: They's got but there's score.
Speaker 7: Right now.
Speaker 4: So nine four the money Moore, if only.
Speaker 11: Like sit sa comboy, I play and then by satround,
Speaker 11: said posy.
Speaker 15: F by s.
Speaker 4: Second per se.
Speaker 5: I go bye from all that.
Speaker 14: Where sees Gus's funny.
Speaker 7: Open floor.
Speaker 9: In four, I'll be going to the class musician.
Speaker 4: Did you say every folks would like to play?
Speaker 9: You asked me to play?
Speaker 7: All right?
Speaker 9: No, it's like I said, hey, but anyway.
Speaker 7: Oh sorry, but yes, we're actually in the middle of
Speaker 7: a recording podcast right now.
Speaker 15: I'm just gonna do a really quick cutting.
Speaker 4: You guys like country music, that's.
Speaker 13: Oh yeah, well this is just a little country song,
Speaker 13: I'm gonna shout out the oak.
Speaker 15: All right.
Speaker 9: That.
Speaker 13: I was twenty one years old when I married my
Speaker 13: sweet heart.
Speaker 7: Were swore that we would love each other forever more.
Speaker 13: We lived happily ever after on a farm by the hillside,
Speaker 13: and each.
Speaker 7: Day was better than the one before.
Speaker 13: Well, except of course, for this one day when she
Speaker 13: was out to the land, when she fell off for
Speaker 13: treasure and gotta run over by the road to me,
Speaker 13: and as I held her in my arms, I'm living
Speaker 13: for king. The last words that she said to me,
Speaker 13: she said, baby, I'm gonna wait for you in heaven.
Speaker 7: Will. A couple of days went by, and eventually I
Speaker 7: just sort of got over it.
Speaker 13: I saw a dig some other girl who is twenty
Speaker 13: three day I moved out to California. I got a
Speaker 13: house on the beach, and each day was better than
Speaker 13: can be will except of course, for this one day
Speaker 13: when she was out shredding on the waves, when she
Speaker 13: slashed up.
Speaker 15: Her rip curl and got dragged out to see.
Speaker 13: As I was laying there on my beach blanket. I'll
Speaker 13: never forget those slasht.
Speaker 11: Words that she said to me.
Speaker 15: She said, Baby, I guess I'm.
Speaker 4: Gonna wait for you in heaven.
Speaker 13: Well, a couple of days went by and then we
Speaker 13: wait that fether drive for her. But one in my
Speaker 13: time finally came. I was standing at the pearly gates.
Speaker 11: My first wife was.
Speaker 13: There, and she said, see, maybe I told you I
Speaker 13: was gonna wait for you, but it was kind of
Speaker 13: awkward situation.
Speaker 7: I said.
Speaker 9: Beach Girl was there.
Speaker 14: Also, and she said that she was gonna wait for
Speaker 14: me too.
Speaker 13: But I know what to do, so I thought I
Speaker 13: made some dumb joke and I said, hey, maybe we
Speaker 13: could all just have a threesomes. Well, the angels in
Speaker 13: heaven didn't take care of the amnion, and nothing I
Speaker 13: could say but a piece.
Speaker 7: That's when I was.
Speaker 13: Streaking down the hill.
Speaker 15: With the moral of this long story, say, if you're
Speaker 15: ever in.
Speaker 13: A love triangle and both your loves died and so
Speaker 13: bizarre but geographically relevant injury, donnass four threesome in heaven
Speaker 13: or you end up in the.
Speaker 7: Hill just like me.
Speaker 1: Tucking.
Speaker 5: That was the most awkward show situation ever in a.
Speaker 1: So awkward I have a temperature of one hundred and
Speaker 1: two right now.
Speaker 5: It made you sick. That show gave you the flu.
Speaker 1: It gave me comedy flu I'll never recover there.
Speaker 5: I don't know if it was.
Speaker 7: The room is set up to be awkward because also
Speaker 7: he asked me if I would go up, and he
Speaker 7: did it. Well, Karen was on and it's like everything's echoing,
Speaker 7: and I'm like, well, you're basically talking. I like the guy,
Speaker 7: but it's like he didn't. I don't even think he
Speaker 7: meant it. But then some lady goes, can you guys
Speaker 7: stop talking? And then it's just like now on the
Speaker 7: asshole talking?
Speaker 8: Yeah, can you guys stop talking so it can be
Speaker 8: fucking pin dropping silent while Karen does her songs that
Speaker 8: no one understands or is interested in.
Speaker 9: That.
Speaker 7: No, that lady, she was enjoying it. She was smiling
Speaker 7: ear to ear literally, and I'm not trying to make
Speaker 7: a joke, but I wanted to say to her, why
Speaker 7: don't you let just go that one extra step and
Speaker 7: just laugh right right?
Speaker 1: That's what it was like.
Speaker 8: It was like it was like a bunch of librarians
Speaker 8: who had a lot of respect for what I was doing, which.
Speaker 1: Is like, I'm not interested in any of this.
Speaker 6: I don't want some librarians respect you. I'd be an
Speaker 6: old book that's I really yeah, that was that guy
Speaker 6: hosting who I guess owns that. I'm gonna go ahead
Speaker 6: and talk shit. I'm going to the King of awkward.
Speaker 6: Let's simultaneously talk shit.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 1: He was terrible.
Speaker 5: David looked like but he wasn't as likable. He had
Speaker 5: a weird limp, but I don't even care what happened
Speaker 5: to his hip.
Speaker 8: He was so bad that it was as hilarious as
Speaker 8: Waterman doing a character like that could have been Waterman
Speaker 8: doing a character.
Speaker 5: It really could.
Speaker 7: I'm ignorant. Who's that guy hosting?
Speaker 8: Do you know David Earl Waterman? No, he just sketches it,
Speaker 8: like the fake allery and stuff. He's a brilliant, hilarious.
Speaker 7: The second time podcast did yeah with the f Yeah
Speaker 7: wait now, Karen, is he the one who booked?
Speaker 1: You know, Tony's the one who.
Speaker 7: So why is that guy like?
Speaker 8: Because he owns the fucking gallery. It's like that classic.
Speaker 8: It's like the club owner that has to host the showcase.
Speaker 5: Night where you're like, do you guys know how to
Speaker 5: get on this cocksucking freeway?
Speaker 7: Sorry?
Speaker 5: Yeah, here I am with my language again.
Speaker 7: Just go to sunset, okay, and just go right, we'll
Speaker 7: go in a big square right now, is this no,
Speaker 7: we're south of Yeah, you can take Temple for a while.
Speaker 7: It's like Virgil and then make a Ryan terrific.
Speaker 5: Okay, back to hating, Okay, yeah, yeah, so he sucks.
Speaker 5: He sucks so bad. He was he purposefully mispronouncing words
Speaker 5: to get a rise out of you.
Speaker 8: Okay, so Tony wrote up the intros. But then that
Speaker 8: guy was reading the interest and then critiquing them as
Speaker 8: he was reading.
Speaker 5: So he's got a word thing. The whole place was
Speaker 5: covered with alphabet letter farms everywhere.
Speaker 8: Oh yeah in the middle Conan, there's that art, that
Speaker 8: art that I mean, who am I to judge another
Speaker 8: man's art?
Speaker 1: But that was some shitty art.
Speaker 7: Yeah, that his art.
Speaker 5: I don't know if it was his, wasn't art of
Speaker 5: any man?
Speaker 9: I know.
Speaker 1: If he's a Christian.
Speaker 6: If he's a Christian, you're right, he makes a good point.
Speaker 6: Here's what if he isn't an annoying asshole?
Speaker 5: Actually no, we all just.
Speaker 8: Watched him, and here's how we know he's an annoying
Speaker 8: asshole because he insisted upon hosting a comedy show that
Speaker 8: he has no fucking business.
Speaker 7: Yeah, whoa no, no, no, but you could just stay
Speaker 7: on this for a while.
Speaker 8: I love that you were there with me, because I
Speaker 8: swear to God, if you were not that show with
Speaker 8: me tonight, I would be in my car sweating, maybe
Speaker 8: on the verge of tears.
Speaker 7: Well no, not to sound. I mean, we all experience statistic,
Speaker 7: but that makes me feel good because I actually thought
Speaker 7: what you did was great. Oh and I have a
Speaker 7: lot of times when I want to I just like
Speaker 7: hate myself after a show, and I know I have
Speaker 7: to know that a lot of times those are valid feelings,
Speaker 7: but getting.
Speaker 8: It from someone, I mean, yeah, But my thing is,
Speaker 8: I am really sick of my songs.
Speaker 1: I sing the same for everything.
Speaker 5: We're all sick of our jokes.
Speaker 9: Right.
Speaker 6: If I hear another one of my jokes coming out
Speaker 6: of my stupid mouth with my own ears, it's stabby
Speaker 6: either my ears or my mouth.
Speaker 1: But it's a feeling of like you just project out
Speaker 1: of the audience.
Speaker 8: So to me, I every time I think there's like,
Speaker 8: there's only six real comedy fans here and they've all
Speaker 8: heard all these songs, so they hate me and have
Speaker 8: no respect for me, and the fact that I'm doing
Speaker 8: these songs again that's the feeling. Even though I did
Speaker 8: one news song to I still like. Doesn't make it different.
Speaker 7: Think with songs, though, people really love hearing them.
Speaker 5: Again, Yeah, that's the benefit, because I certainly do.
Speaker 7: When it comes to songs, I've never heard the one
Speaker 7: you did tonight, you know, I specifically tried to pick
Speaker 7: one that you probably hadn't heard, honestly. Yeah, because I
Speaker 7: think impressing your peers is probably more important, especially when
Speaker 7: you hate the guy who's running the thing.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 7: No, but yeah, I mean I.
Speaker 5: Think those assholes brought us closer together.
Speaker 9: I think.
Speaker 6: I mean the ass was the main guy. I didn't
Speaker 6: not everyone there was an asshole. There was the one guy.
Speaker 8: We can I say this and this could also be
Speaker 8: my comedy paranoia. But the guy that said that he
Speaker 8: was getting ready for his set at the comedy store
Speaker 8: next week?
Speaker 5: What a liar with? Is it a comedy store?
Speaker 6: Is there a fourth room at the comedy store by
Speaker 6: a radiator that uh that they just opened up?
Speaker 5: No, you're in the body, you're in the gizzard room.
Speaker 1: Let me tell my story about me. I'm an ex banker.
Speaker 1: Oh you know what, I'm out.
Speaker 5: And the lines at the bank more interesting than this.
Speaker 7: Oh wow, this is some ship talking.
Speaker 1: The closer was acting like a t rex that couldn't
Speaker 1: reach his dick.
Speaker 5: He said that he also did a weird ass thing
Speaker 5: where it got a big laugh. Yeah, it was pity.
Speaker 6: It was like it was like a laugh that like
Speaker 6: someone would nervously give it if he announced it was
Speaker 6: on Chemo I have.
Speaker 5: He was also when he was Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 5: It was a weird example, but he.
Speaker 6: When he people were supposed to be laughing, he'd let
Speaker 6: you know by pointing the mic at the audience.
Speaker 7: Yes, oh that's hilarious.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he was good.
Speaker 1: The old interview techniques.
Speaker 7: Like what the rock singers do when their turn to
Speaker 7: sing when the lights well, that's always my favorite is
Speaker 7: because they always do it at the high part, you know,
Speaker 7: like I saw sticks and it was like.
Speaker 5: Because they got older and they can't they can't.
Speaker 7: Send those notes. I want to hear you singing, but
Speaker 7: it's like you know, or like Elton John, you know,
Speaker 7: and I'm gonna be as a cut like you didn't
Speaker 7: see me pointing the microphone radio you can hear the
Speaker 7: joke makes no sense.
Speaker 1: Do it again?
Speaker 7: And all narrow, who's the guy that buddy of mine,
Speaker 7: Brett Michael Ericson. Oh yeah, he's the guy out of Wam,
Speaker 7: He's the guy out of Peoria. He's really one of
Speaker 7: the funniest guys ever. He's so great. He's the house
Speaker 7: m Yeah, it's great, it's so great.
Speaker 1: Wait, sorry, we're from where?
Speaker 9: Uh?
Speaker 7: Pory, Illinois?
Speaker 8: I thought you said Beory, like like the strips. I
Speaker 8: was like, why why haven't I met him?
Speaker 5: You haven't seen his black Head comedy?
Speaker 7: But you know what's.
Speaker 1: Monday?
Speaker 7: I was, well, wait there, now, they're dark Monday nights.
Speaker 1: Oh god, now hold on a second.
Speaker 6: That was the old joke everybody used to I'm going
Speaker 6: to push on the okay, wait, Robert Blake.
Speaker 7: But so the joke that he does it just occurred
Speaker 7: to me. Telling the story of the joke is almost
Speaker 7: as dumb as he's got a joke that ends with
Speaker 7: a visual punchline where he winks and he said that
Speaker 7: they wanted him to do it on the radio, and
Speaker 7: he's like, do you see how that wouldn't make any
Speaker 7: sense at all? But now I can't even tell it
Speaker 7: because me retelling it would be the same thing thing.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Oh wow, Wow, that's a riddle.
Speaker 7: Condom. He says, you know, we shouldn't call them, uh,
Speaker 7: the Special Olympics because it's like there was some controversy
Speaker 7: about whether it should be that. It's like it should
Speaker 7: be the Olympics. Yeah. Yeah, then, which is a really
Speaker 7: funny joke.
Speaker 5: If you say.
Speaker 7: It on the radio, you literally just say the Olympics
Speaker 7: and it makes no sense.
Speaker 6: I think you should say they should be called the Olympics.
Speaker 6: Wink the way c reride against joke get him.
Speaker 7: The wink that he does is so freaking funny though.
Speaker 7: That's just it's a classic. Oh yeah, that's terrific, doesn't
Speaker 7: the does Hawkins have a wink in one of his
Speaker 7: what what.
Speaker 5: Else did you jot about that show?
Speaker 7: Robert? I'm trying to change the the positive story.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're right, you're right. We should put a pot
Speaker 5: on it.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, but I dated Robert Hawkins? So did you
Speaker 1: kind of get dark?
Speaker 7: Oh? Did you really? I did? Was he funny?
Speaker 1: I think dating is generous. You've been to the I've been. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was in the Hawk's nest for a little while. Intense.
Speaker 7: He's so funny.
Speaker 1: Wow, he's really one of the funniest.
Speaker 5: People on This makes me laugh.
Speaker 6: So hard, and it was always strange to me how
Speaker 6: he has no presence in Los Angeles comedy.
Speaker 7: Well, that would never be partly voluntary, right, I mean
Speaker 7: he's a hardcore.
Speaker 1: I think he was here for a while and tried
Speaker 1: it out because he was on Christ Titus Show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but he's such a road comic. I feel like after
Speaker 1: a while, that's what you do.
Speaker 6: But he had weird material and I always I always
Speaker 6: anytime he did, Like one time he did UCB and
Speaker 6: he was so funny and everyone loved him, It's like,
Speaker 6: who is this guy?
Speaker 5: And I'm like, he's always on the road.
Speaker 1: Yeah, his material is defies the road.
Speaker 5: I did not know about your past.
Speaker 1: It's not funny. It was fun we were both passing
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 6: I would have to say, this is it's something I
Speaker 6: might bring up and talk about when we're not recording.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll give you straight up details.
Speaker 5: I'm warning of an actual conversation we're going to have.
Speaker 8: It was very short lived and very hilarious, and we
Speaker 8: were not the greatest combination. But I am positive the
Speaker 8: reason he broke up with me is because we were
Speaker 8: playing twenty questions at lunch one day and it was
Speaker 8: his turn, so he had to think of a person.
Speaker 1: And I said, is it a man? And he said yes,
Speaker 1: And then I said is it Pat Marita? And I
Speaker 1: had guessed it right, Oh my god, and he flipped out.
Speaker 5: He thought you were had he found.
Speaker 6: Out I was a bit what so he can't handle talent?
Speaker 6: Should I just keep doing what I'm doing? One on
Speaker 6: the road that oh yeah, less?
Speaker 7: What is this? Oh yeah, it's about to turn into
Speaker 7: uh or Beverly? Yeah, yeah, so this will Beverly then
Speaker 7: make a right on like Virgil.
Speaker 5: Yeah, let's make it right on Virgil.
Speaker 8: And also, if we want to be positive about the
Speaker 8: show tonight, Barbara Gray is hilarious.
Speaker 1: Barbara Gray was grave, and she was essentially well she
Speaker 1: was like the feature almost the closer. Yeah yeah, and
Speaker 1: she did great.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Oh and I'm sure I'm sure Bowers was going to
Speaker 7: destroy Yeah.
Speaker 15: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Do you know what about what he said in Austin?
Speaker 7: I just found that No, no, oh god.
Speaker 1: But then when he's talking about.
Speaker 7: Him controversial, oh, extremely Well. You remember there was a
Speaker 7: big accident there were you there during the Karen songanding.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I died in that accent. Oh no, It's one
Speaker 1: of my favorite stories. That no one else likes for
Speaker 1: me to tell I.
Speaker 5: Haven't heard you talking.
Speaker 6: I'm warning you again of another conversation we're going to
Speaker 6: talk about that because I haven't heard the details.
Speaker 7: So the next morning, it's not even the next night,
Speaker 7: apparently they were doing a date time show, and during
Speaker 7: his show he says, I mean I wasn't there, so
Speaker 7: I wasn't close to it. I I can't as a
Speaker 7: comic not think it's hilariously Yeah, but it is. I
Speaker 7: feel like I have to apologize. But anyway, and that's
Speaker 7: why I have no balls. But but he said, he goes, Man,
Speaker 7: everybody's texting me from l A saying are you okay?
Speaker 7: Are you okay? I'm like, man, I'm okay. My car
Speaker 7: is fucked up. Wow, that's that's kind of the response
Speaker 7: it got. But wow. I asked him about it. He's
Speaker 7: he's completely proud of it. He threw the mic down
Speaker 7: it and put his hands up in the air.
Speaker 1: That's how he responded, to throw the mic down and
Speaker 1: walk up.
Speaker 7: It is a funny joke. I mean, you can't tell
Speaker 7: it's a well done funny Joe like it. It's one
Speaker 7: of those it's one of those tragedy plus time or whatever.
Speaker 7: I mean, we've all heard nine eleven. Yeah, I got
Speaker 7: to say that.
Speaker 5: We all know the formula, but none of us can
Speaker 5: remember it.
Speaker 7: The week the week of nine time time plus tragedy, say,
Speaker 7: I don't even.
Speaker 5: Remember comedy the square room.
Speaker 7: Time plus tragedy equals ha ha ha ha squared. We
Speaker 7: all know that comedy plus time is tragedy. I just
Speaker 7: want to that's that's the way said that. That's good.
Speaker 7: That's a tweet right there, guys, you're gonna see it
Speaker 7: on my Twitter. Yeah, you just get You just got
Speaker 7: to verbalize comedy plus time is tragedy. And the joke
Speaker 7: being that you get you get old and hacky, it's tragedy.
Speaker 1: Time doesn't help at all.
Speaker 6: I just want to say that this has been the
Speaker 6: first time I've driven in a while. Karen is better
Speaker 6: at multitasking or I keep saying that because you don't
Speaker 6: seem to be in a sweaty panic, but I am.
Speaker 5: Again, this will makes me nerd.
Speaker 7: What are you?
Speaker 5: I don't know. I feel like I'm gonna kill all
Speaker 5: of us.
Speaker 7: Oh with the Yeah, no, it's been bothering me.
Speaker 1: You're playing pretty cool.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, Well I'm cool as a cucumber, but I'm
Speaker 6: it's a cucumber that might kill his friends.
Speaker 1: I marry Henry. You know you're clearly upset.
Speaker 5: Look at her and to think I'm a commercial stunt driver.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. You better.
Speaker 5: I better recognize you better. That was what you were
Speaker 5: going to say.
Speaker 1: My feeling, I'll just say it. This is a younger
Speaker 1: going to say, I'm definitely super I'm hungry right now.
Speaker 1: I'm very hungry when I show up.
Speaker 8: It shows like that that have that feeling of these
Speaker 8: people don't know the base of comedy rules, which is
Speaker 8: like I was going to stand outside until the person
Speaker 8: who was on stage was done, and Tony walked up
Speaker 8: to the door.
Speaker 1: And was like come in, and it's like I know
Speaker 1: I can come in, Like God.
Speaker 8: Like, why didn't you just put the chairs facing the
Speaker 8: other walls when you walk in? Only the comic sees
Speaker 8: and everybody, you know what I mean, Like all these
Speaker 8: kind of just kind of doing the basic understanding.
Speaker 5: I hate when cops drive all weird, yeah.
Speaker 1: Because then you're like, I just passed him. You just
Speaker 1: passed a cop angrily.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, oh pull up next to me.
Speaker 1: You should have done this you don't even know drunk.
Speaker 7: Actually, I don't think you're allowed to have both ears and.
Speaker 6: Oh okay, certainly because well, I uh, it would make
Speaker 6: a very special episode.
Speaker 5: Everyone.
Speaker 6: Uh, what if I get arrested right now for podcasting
Speaker 6: in the car. I'm certainly getting eyeballs. Everybody gets okay,
Speaker 6: well I'm not gonna do it right now because the
Speaker 6: fuzz is hot on our fender.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Well, he was very interested in what we got
Speaker 5: going on.
Speaker 6: We almost were the first podcast ever to get shut
Speaker 6: down by the Los Angeles Highway Patrol.
Speaker 8: What if here's what would be amazing if they also
Speaker 8: were podcasting and we have like some kind of a cop.
Speaker 5: Welcome back to top. Hey what are those three doing?
Speaker 1: I don't know, but they're brown. Let's throw them in ja.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be that. That's l
Speaker 5: a baby. Yep, that's right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Oh I really do they were Did they think
Speaker 6: that our microphones were beers?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 5: Maybe yeah, maybe they thought we were a baby. Yeah.
Speaker 7: I had to pretend like I was giving a blowjob.
Speaker 7: That was really dumb to me.
Speaker 5: And actually you're pretending blow jobs feel great? That didn't
Speaker 5: come out. I'm just yeah, yeah, we're certainly not podcasting.
Speaker 1: Weird gay sex from the side.
Speaker 5: How dare you halt our mobile blow job unit.
Speaker 1: I'm just a witness that.
Speaker 7: Reminds me as long as we're bringing up our friend
Speaker 7: comics jokes.
Speaker 5: Augie Smith, you're the one that keeps up doing other people.
Speaker 7: I don't know. That's the way. It's fun. That's why
Speaker 7: I speak there advertising funny. Yeah, like all all those
Speaker 7: people that died of choking on their own vomit, and
Speaker 7: it's like, now that you were adults and we drink
Speaker 7: a lot, we're like, how much. I mean, it's not
Speaker 7: just because you're a rock star that you drink. More like,
Speaker 7: I know people that aren't rock stars that do drink
Speaker 7: that much. Nobody's choked on their own vomit. And then
Speaker 7: Augult was like, I think that's the cover story, and
Speaker 7: it makes you wonder how bad must the real story
Speaker 7: be if the cover is, Oh, yeah, he choked on
Speaker 7: his own vomit. Yeah, you know what was he really doing?
Speaker 7: Let's just tell me choked on his own Yeah?
Speaker 6: He said that could mean anything. He had too many
Speaker 6: bananas and started spinning. Yeah, I think I'm gonna.
Speaker 7: Okay, sorry, no, thank you, anyway, a lot of fun.
Speaker 6: It always helps. I just want to interrupt this. Well,
Speaker 6: I'm it's not interrupting it. I just as a side
Speaker 6: note if i'm if I'm driving the wrong direction, you
Speaker 6: guys pipe out.
Speaker 1: No, this is perfect because this will take you straight
Speaker 1: up to where we're trying to go.
Speaker 6: Yep, we're going to go back to the one on
Speaker 6: one and eat us some Did you tape canutes and food?
Speaker 12: No?
Speaker 5: No I didn't. Oh my god, story that story, story, story, Yeah.
Speaker 1: He's so good. I was so excited he was going
Speaker 1: up before me.
Speaker 5: It did. Oddly though, his story made me want to
Speaker 5: run a marathon.
Speaker 7: It was I know that he ended up, and it
Speaker 7: made me not want to because I'm like, that's what
Speaker 7: would happen to me, because I don't think anybody thinks
Speaker 7: that's gonna happen. But he said he just blacked out.
Speaker 1: Well, and also ten ten blocks before it was over
Speaker 1: here in an entire.
Speaker 6: Marathon, and I can I believe the ending where he
Speaker 6: said he thought he was being abducted. That if you
Speaker 6: just woke yeah and there's dudes hanging above you, Yeah,
Speaker 6: that would be my initial response, especially if they were
Speaker 6: wearing like Hawaiian shirts.
Speaker 7: I was hoping he taped it and then that way
Speaker 7: we could sell it. Yeah, let's do why not? Why
Speaker 7: not bootleg every comedy show?
Speaker 1: Yes, and so no matter how small or hot or weird.
Speaker 7: Legal to just videotape everybody.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and then we can go on sound Exchange and
Speaker 6: collect all the proceeds. Apparently Henry had an old manager
Speaker 6: who went on sound Exchange.
Speaker 5: I don't care, you can stop me. I'm gonna say
Speaker 5: his name. What I've been told you might as well
Speaker 5: say his name. Who was it?
Speaker 6: I don't know, but he went on sound Exchange and
Speaker 6: signed up on comics, some of them dead comics.
Speaker 5: And what's collecting how much a month? Ten grand a month?
Speaker 7: No, I guess Drugg is what I've been told.
Speaker 5: He was a manager at something and something like.
Speaker 7: Well, apparently he can't even show his face in the
Speaker 7: comedy scene anymore because that pissed people off. But he does,
Speaker 7: I think it's illegal.
Speaker 5: Does keep showing.
Speaker 1: People are fine with it. It's pretty nice.
Speaker 5: It is a beautiful thing, even though you know.
Speaker 7: It's crooked, don't you you go you got a lot
Speaker 7: of face showing your balls around. I've got a tweet.
Speaker 7: That's a second tweet.
Speaker 5: You've got a lot of face. He's showing your calcer
Speaker 5: zips up pants and walks out. That's great.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean that's that reminds there was a guy
Speaker 6: in my hometown of Missoula, Montana, where there if you
Speaker 6: do get a parking ticket at a meter, it's five
Speaker 6: dollars and if you're from out of town, they.
Speaker 5: Leave you a note that says, ohops, you messed up.
Speaker 5: Thanks for visiting though.
Speaker 6: And there's coupons on the back of the ticket for
Speaker 6: the no. But the guy that was the head of
Speaker 6: the parking commission in Missoula was going around and taking
Speaker 6: emptying the meters and putting him all that it was changed.
Speaker 6: But he is doing it all day and earning extra money.
Speaker 6: And someone watched him do it and they're like, that
Speaker 6: guy just took the money out and put it in
Speaker 6: a thing. I'm gonna look into that. And he got caught.
Speaker 6: And that's a long story. But it is similar to
Speaker 6: you know a comedy manager who.
Speaker 5: Then oh yeah, yeah, comics.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the same verb.
Speaker 6: It's stealing from your specific thing that you're supposed to
Speaker 6: be keeping.
Speaker 5: Peer.
Speaker 8: Yeah, can I change the subject back to a comedy
Speaker 8: show where you're out just for one second, for God's sake,
Speaker 8: because this is my and I know it's I'm going
Speaker 8: back negative, but it's not personally negative.
Speaker 7: Is starting to sound like a good idea, you can
Speaker 7: long enough, sh it's boring.
Speaker 8: Well, I was just gonna say uh during my set,
Speaker 8: which was just deeply soul quiet. So at one point
Speaker 8: it felt like seven people were taking flash photography pictures
Speaker 8: of me were just like, who wants this?
Speaker 7: Who? What is it for?
Speaker 8: Like comedy shows, there's always some fucking photographer.
Speaker 7: I've finally gotten immune to it, but I don't want
Speaker 7: to be. Remember the there was a show called What's
Speaker 7: Happening the Kids out There? And there was one where
Speaker 7: we Run had an idea that he was he was
Speaker 7: gonna go to the Doobie Brothers.
Speaker 1: Yes and Bootlegged Yeah, And I guess, you know.
Speaker 7: Doobie brother was like the band that agreed to do it,
Speaker 7: but it probably wouldn't have been you know, Rerun's favorite
Speaker 7: the way he danced, you know, but no, But anyway,
Speaker 7: so I guess that there was this It was a
Speaker 7: very special What's Happening And they go in there and
Speaker 7: they get caught into the legging because he brought a
Speaker 7: tape recorder. At the end, the Dopee Brothers say, you know,
Speaker 7: rerun a lot of they were acting and everything. They're like,
Speaker 7: you know, a lot of a lot of you know,
Speaker 7: musicians are losing a lot of their royalties because people
Speaker 7: like you are coming in and they're you know. So
Speaker 7: it was like that was a really bad thing and
Speaker 7: it was ingrained in me. But now what we just
Speaker 7: forgot about that. It's fine now to just go and
Speaker 7: record any show that you go to. I guess because
Speaker 7: it's so easy to it's so hard to enforce. They
Speaker 7: just let you.
Speaker 6: Like comedy clubs like that, Shitty Flappers and stuff, they
Speaker 6: will like just tell you, hey, we're going to record
Speaker 6: your sets. So if you want a copy of it,
Speaker 6: you know, let the guy know and you can buy
Speaker 6: it for ten bucks. Oh whoa, whoa Wait, Actually, no,
Speaker 6: you don't have a right to record me at all.
Speaker 5: No, don't just want that's.
Speaker 7: Part of the contract that they give you.
Speaker 5: And I love I love saying no to that.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 8: I loved that episode of What's Happening because the entire
Speaker 8: concert stopped this rerun, put a tape recorder that you
Speaker 8: would have used in the seventies grammar school, like with
Speaker 8: the red button and everything. Oh yeah, and he had
Speaker 8: it like on his chest, but he danced. He was
Speaker 8: wearing a raincoat. It fell out and the concert stopped immediately.
Speaker 7: Oh is that what it was?
Speaker 5: Because of the noise it made hitting the ground.
Speaker 7: So they're literally at a giant rock concert and a
Speaker 7: tape recorder falling down gets hurt.
Speaker 5: What was that noise? That's all stopped drumming and saying it.
Speaker 7: Like the Doobie Brothers were probably just playing in a nightclub.
Speaker 1: And then d had that rad joke where she goes,
Speaker 1: y'all don't look like brothers.
Speaker 11: Than me.
Speaker 7: To her? Man, what is right? You know what? D
Speaker 7: was so damn fun He was the best. And we
Speaker 7: looked her up. What she's doing?
Speaker 1: She was she's a veterinary. Brian Postsain went to her
Speaker 1: as a veterinarian.
Speaker 7: How could she be that funny? She had the greatest timing.
Speaker 1: She's as like a child, my child.
Speaker 5: My dad used to write jokes, Oh no, look like
Speaker 5: brothers to me. That's funny. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 6: Comics go off and just you know what, I like
Speaker 6: animals and they changed their career become a hilarious veterinarian.
Speaker 7: I like it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, sorry, I don't know if that made sense. I
Speaker 6: did a lame change and I got nervous and lost
Speaker 6: my train of fun.
Speaker 7: Or they've become metheatics, like some of them.
Speaker 5: If there's only two decisions, I think.
Speaker 7: The one from love, but I'm going into Isaac.
Speaker 5: No, he became a real bartender.
Speaker 7: Yeah, Julie.
Speaker 1: Julie had a cook problem, right.
Speaker 7: Yeah, well what's the one with the yellow teeth? Just general? Well, no, no, yeah,
Speaker 7: I don't know. I think she had that. Well, well
Speaker 7: maybe it's I guess if you're doing coke, you're probably
Speaker 7: also not. It's it's probably more of a coincidence. It's
Speaker 7: it's false causality.
Speaker 1: It's like you're so covered up you don't.
Speaker 7: Care about your teeth that much because you're like, well,
Speaker 7: I'm dying.
Speaker 1: I have all these other concerns.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, oh, who's hungry?
Speaker 7: I'm speaking of teeth?
Speaker 5: Can I go in there?
Speaker 7: Hungry is great?
Speaker 9: Like that?
Speaker 5: Yeah, Well, you're never hitting nothing one on one.
Speaker 7: I gotta watch that episode, but.
Speaker 5: I want to see that episode of What's Happening.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and I think a lot of these hipsters should
Speaker 7: see it too. Yeah, you know our listeners, Hey, guys,
Speaker 7: watch that What's Happening episode and think about just think
Speaker 7: about what happened to rerun and what the Doobie Brothers
Speaker 7: said about losing their royalties.
Speaker 1: Let's think about.
Speaker 7: There. Yeah, but a bunch of extremely wealthy, successful white
Speaker 7: guys going into the inner city and talking to three
Speaker 7: black kids about how they're going to lose their royalties.
Speaker 1: Be careful of our royalties. Yeah, I don't get to
Speaker 1: have free entertainment.
Speaker 7: With your biggest tape recorder you stole from the grammar school. Yeah,
Speaker 7: I can. Okay, it is a spot. Yeah, if you
Speaker 7: watch it now, like kids will probably be like, why
Speaker 7: why didn't he just bring this small Yeah exactly.
Speaker 6: That didn't make a loud enough noise to stop a concert.
Speaker 6: Speaking of stop in the concert, let's stop.
Speaker 5: Just pulled in.
Speaker 6: We're gonna eat. That was a great we we covered
Speaker 6: a lot of ground. That was Henry's first time co
Speaker 6: hosting with me. Even though are two minutes, well, I'm
Speaker 6: getting them wrap up. Okay, you know this is my
Speaker 6: conclusionary wrap up.
Speaker 7: I just had a really quick question. Oh so, Karen
Speaker 7: Is that true? Is that really what happened with the
Speaker 7: the ending that I didn't know if you were making
Speaker 7: that as a joke. Did did we runs tape recorder
Speaker 7: really fall? Oh? Yeah, that is that's how that I could.
Speaker 7: I could also see you just making that up and
Speaker 7: at that being a scenario. Also, no, no, no, that's
Speaker 7: the real I.
Speaker 1: Remember that episode really specifically.
Speaker 7: Okay, because I just had to clarify that. It sounds
Speaker 7: like you could just rattle that off in thirty seconds
Speaker 7: as a plot.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly, that's.
Speaker 7: What they must have done. It's somebody dances and then
Speaker 7: it falls out.
Speaker 1: It just falls. It's a big deal. People don't care
Speaker 1: about the details.
Speaker 6: Like it's so far fetched that you could just blurt
Speaker 6: it out in the future in the back of a car.
Speaker 7: That is great. Yeah, and I would have bought.
Speaker 5: Well, I'm a.
Speaker 6: Low on blood sugar. We all smell Henry, especially, I'm sorry.
Speaker 6: I no, no, I mean you noticed it the most,
Speaker 6: probably that I was saying. But we're gonna wrap it
Speaker 6: up to Henry. Thanks for being on our.
Speaker 7: Very fun I was really the guest. I mean that's right. Yeah.
Speaker 6: Isn't this interesting that Karen you were the guest. I'm
Speaker 6: going to give you both equal guest credit, and then
Speaker 6: I'm going to take away the co host credit from
Speaker 6: Henry and give that to myself.
Speaker 1: So oh, this is my first time, So Henry gets nothing.
Speaker 6: Henry's a guest, half a guest, You're half a guest,
Speaker 6: and I am both the host and co host of
Speaker 6: this episode of E Y N A R.
Speaker 1: I leave and I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 2: time and a urmano engage.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off inside. We wanna welcome
Speaker 3: you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about every scared he was?
Speaker 4: It fine.
Speaker 1: Now porn?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 7: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 15: Do you need
Speaker 5: With Karen and Chriss