1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast 2 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: Build you from the inside out. 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 2: Now here's Jay Glacier. 4 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,320 Speaker 1: Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental wealth podcast with Jay Glazier. 5 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 1: I'm Jay Glazer really excited for today's guests. He has 6 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 1: been through it, he's been successful, then he was through 7 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,599 Speaker 1: it again. Then he's through it again, and there's so 8 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: much we can learn from him, and he's recreated himself 9 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 1: over and over and over. But before I get through, 10 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: if you're like many people, you may be surprised to 11 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:37,080 Speaker 1: learn that one in five adults in this country experienced 12 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,960 Speaker 1: mental illness last year, yet far too many failed to 13 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 1: receive the support they need. Carolyn, behavioral health is doing 14 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,479 Speaker 1: something about it. They understand that behavioral health is a 15 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: key part of whole health, delivering compassionate. 16 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,239 Speaker 2: Care that treats physical, mental, emotional, and social needs. In 17 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 2: tantem CAROLM. Behavioral health raising the quality of life through 18 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,280 Speaker 2: empathy and action. 19 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: All right, Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental wealth health podcast 20 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: with Jay Glazier. And what I try to do is 21 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 1: bring people on here who've been through some things, who've 22 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 1: been through some shit before. But when I get a 23 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:09,960 Speaker 1: bald guy on here who kind of looks like me. 24 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 2: Bald is beautiful. Then I feel even more empowered. 25 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,040 Speaker 1: And with that, I want to welcome in Rex Chapman, 26 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:18,640 Speaker 1: who played in the NBA, successful college career, then he 27 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:22,119 Speaker 1: became a very successful Twitter influencer, which you probably never 28 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 1: thought that would happen in your life, and has just 29 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 1: come out with a book. It's hard for me to 30 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: live with me. So you know, Rex has done a 31 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: lot of the things that I've done. Also, he's done 32 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 1: it more I think the addiction world, but he's done 33 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 1: a lot of mental health stuff. I've done a lot 34 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,840 Speaker 1: of mental health stuff, and I think we both can 35 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 1: agree that, Man, the more we could build our mental health, 36 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,880 Speaker 1: it leads to mental wealth, and that's where this world 37 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:43,399 Speaker 1: needs to go. 38 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,119 Speaker 3: Man, Jay I first, thanks for having me, and I'm 39 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 3: I want to let you know, I think people have 40 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 3: to be inspired by what you're doing and the way 41 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 3: that you speak about openly about mental health. You know, 42 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 3: I kind of did it because everything just went to 43 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 3: hell in my life and you're doing it differently, and 44 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:11,280 Speaker 3: I just uh. And you're on the NFL, and a 45 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:16,279 Speaker 3: lot of people that watch the NFL watch sports religiously 46 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 3: need to have. We didn't have men that talked about 47 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 3: this when we were kids on TV. We just did 48 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 3: that was taboo, that wasn't macho. Blah blah blah. So 49 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,520 Speaker 3: kudos to you and please keep up the good work. 50 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,800 Speaker 2: I appreciate it. Where do you think that when you 51 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:35,080 Speaker 2: say I do it differently. 52 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 3: What I think that? It's part It's part of who 53 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 3: you are. Man like you you own it. You you 54 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 3: have owned it and you have made it. You're normalizing 55 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 3: it to where you know people men who watch football, 56 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 3: who watch sports, watch you and they go, they go, man, 57 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,840 Speaker 3: I have those same thoughts. I have those same struggles. 58 00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 3: It's good to know that other people do too, because 59 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 3: we normally we see people on TV and we think 60 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,400 Speaker 3: those guys have it all money, bang, everything, everything is 61 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 3: great with them. That ain't the case. 62 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: Yeah we had it all That means issues also, that's right. 63 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 1: But you're doing the same thing, Matt, because you've been 64 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 1: with a lot in your life. I mean, look, all 65 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 1: I try to do, you know, coming out talking about 66 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 1: mental health is just give it words, because we didn't 67 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: really have the words except when you sat in the 68 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,040 Speaker 1: therapist's office. 69 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 2: But that's not layman's terms. 70 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,079 Speaker 1: That's not everyday words, right, So I just wanted to 71 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: give words so we could start having that conversation, and yeah, 72 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 1: take the stigma away. 73 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,519 Speaker 2: Like for me, my best mental health. 74 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: Sessions are in a cage with a Randy Couture or 75 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 1: Chuck Ledell where we're crying each other after right practice. 76 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 1: So I figured that and well, no one's questioned our 77 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 1: man for crying each other and we're got to show others. 78 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 1: But it made us so much closer together. But you 79 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 1: also made the jump and said, you're in a maso 80 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 1: sport and you're playing basketball, and you've had all these issues, 81 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: whether it's addiction to gambling or opioids whatever, and you 82 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: know you got to use your pain to help others 83 00:03:58,360 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: through theirs. 84 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 2: What was your kind of aha moment that you. 85 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 1: Were able to do that, And you know what, I 86 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 1: want you to answer that, but I also need you 87 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: to go back and tell our listeners what you've been 88 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: through and your story. 89 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 3: Yeah. So you know, I grew up playing basketball. From 90 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 3: the time I could remember, I played football and swam 91 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,679 Speaker 3: and played little league and all played all the sports. 92 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,159 Speaker 3: I was a really good athlete by the time I 93 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,600 Speaker 3: got to high school or my last couple of years 94 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,720 Speaker 3: in high school, I was probably the best player in 95 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 3: our state of Kentucky. I was top, you know, one, 96 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,800 Speaker 3: two or three rated high school player in the country. 97 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,719 Speaker 3: McDonald's All American Team, parade teams, all of that stuff. 98 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 3: I went to the University of Kentucky, was an All 99 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 3: American there for two years, and then I entered the 100 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,720 Speaker 3: draft and was the eighth pick, the first pick of 101 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 3: the Charlotte Hornets franchise. Played there for three years, three 102 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 3: years in Washington with the Bullets, a year in Miami 103 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:54,600 Speaker 3: with the Heat, and my last five years with the 104 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 3: Phoenix Suns. When I retired, I had had seven surgeries 105 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 3: my last three years of playing. And when I I 106 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 3: had a routine appendectomy in the year two thousand and 107 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 3: a doctor gave me prescription for a month for oxycon 108 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:15,880 Speaker 3: and I took that OxyContin, and in two days I 109 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,040 Speaker 3: knew I was in love. It was the greatest thing 110 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:21,520 Speaker 3: I'd ever had. I'd always had social anxiety, I had 111 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 3: always suffered from depression. I just was too afraid to 112 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:28,159 Speaker 3: go get medicated for it because I was still playing 113 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 3: ball and I didn't know how that would interact with 114 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:34,600 Speaker 3: my reaction. You know all the crazy things that athletes think. 115 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 3: So I took that medicine and immediately I felt like 116 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:44,160 Speaker 3: a different person. I felt funnier, smarter, better dad, better husband, 117 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 3: all of it, not realizing I'm the self self medicated. Yes, 118 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 3: and use. 119 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 2: Viking him for my anxiety all the time. 120 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was like an instant and an instant headache reliever. 121 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,479 Speaker 3: Viking In was my jam and person and that person 122 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:04,479 Speaker 3: kind of has no fear. 123 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: But the come down is, you're such an asshold of 124 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,920 Speaker 1: people and you're and also I would drink and take 125 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:10,440 Speaker 1: viking In. 126 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,039 Speaker 3: That's the only reason that I'm alive is because I 127 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 3: didn't drink during that time day. And you know what, 128 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 3: I realized too very quickly. I remember when I first 129 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:23,359 Speaker 3: started taking the OxyContin and I'm just not again. Social 130 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 3: awkwardness and social anxiety my whole life. If I know you, 131 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 3: no problem. If I don't know you and you come 132 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,119 Speaker 3: up to me. Also, I don't want to ruin your 133 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 3: interaction with me, because you know, when I took that medicine. 134 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 3: Come on, I'm the nicest guy in the world. I'm 135 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 3: not even watching what I was there to watch me 136 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 3: and you were talking now I felt like that's what 137 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 3: normal people do. And it made me like I felt 138 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 3: normal what I thought was normal. And before I knew it, 139 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 3: eighteen months had passed. Danny Ainge is telling me, Rex, 140 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 3: you got to look at yourself. You are, You're a mess. 141 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,159 Speaker 3: You've got to go to rehab. I was taken about 142 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:09,240 Speaker 3: fifty pills a day, forty forty Vike in oxygen. 143 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 2: Oh my god, no I know. 144 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,360 Speaker 3: And see that's why I say, if I'd been drinking, 145 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 3: I would be dead, you know, And I just chewed 146 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 3: them up. 147 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 2: The drink of the Viking in. You're right, it got 148 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 2: me for a while. 149 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:25,440 Speaker 3: The alcohol. The alcohol sets off the vicat it. I 150 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 3: mean in a weird way. 151 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:29,640 Speaker 1: Well I was good for a while, so you come up, 152 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: and you're right, I get real bad social anxiety. 153 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 2: And people didn't know. 154 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: And I'm supposed to be the glaze, this character rights 155 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 1: that I created on TV to hide it. So I'd 156 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: be good on the way up, but on the way 157 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 1: down I'll get real short, real step and I said 158 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,679 Speaker 1: I wasn't good. Keep my hands and myself. I would 159 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,119 Speaker 1: fucking grab dudes by the front. I would snatch cats, 160 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 1: and somebody pissed me off and you know, next thing, 161 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 1: you know, man, I'm I'm wrestling. I'm like, it wasn't 162 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 1: good and my friends would have to keep me out 163 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 1: of it. And even that, you know, I thought, was, well, 164 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 1: it's part of my brand, you know. 165 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 2: I'm I'm hosting the UFC in. 166 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,600 Speaker 1: The Pride Fighting Championships and training all these football players. 167 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 2: And no, that's not who I wanted to be. 168 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 3: Good for you man, I mean, because that's just I 169 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 3: get it. And I have to do it to myself 170 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 3: at times because I am from Kentucky and I've got 171 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 3: I still have this much amount of redneck in me. 172 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,560 Speaker 3: And if I right, like in the wrong, if I 173 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 3: put myself in the wrong spot, I will I'll react, 174 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 3: I'll say something to somebody, and I don't want to 175 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 3: be that person, you. 176 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 2: Know, no doubt, no doubt. Go ahead. So then you 177 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 2: got hooked on. 178 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,320 Speaker 3: I got yeah. I got hooked on yeah, And a 179 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 3: lot before I knew it, I was in rehab. I 180 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 3: was out of rehab, but I was back taking Vico 181 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,679 Speaker 3: in back into rehab a couple of years later. Then 182 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:47,840 Speaker 3: when I got out, I was on suboxone and I 183 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 3: was on box owne for about ten years, and you 184 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 3: shouldn't be. 185 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,200 Speaker 1: People who don't know what that is, right to prevent 186 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,679 Speaker 1: you from taking the drugs that he's talking about. 187 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,680 Speaker 3: Right. And when I got into rehab the last time, 188 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,960 Speaker 3: I realized that there were people in there who were shoesoxone. 189 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:06,680 Speaker 3: They were melting the strips and injecting them. So it's 190 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 3: a whole. So when I went to rehab that last time, 191 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 3: I was arrested. I was arrested for shoplifting. And when 192 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,959 Speaker 3: I say that, I don't want to just skim by it. 193 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 3: I had, you know, made thirty eight forty million dollars 194 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:25,960 Speaker 3: playing basketball. Long time thoroughbred horse racing gambler since I 195 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,320 Speaker 3: was a child. He used to go with my dad 196 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 3: to the track and I could read a racing form 197 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,920 Speaker 3: before I could read a newspaper. So I played horses 198 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,400 Speaker 3: from the time I got to college until I got arrested. 199 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:41,200 Speaker 3: And by the time I got arrested, I was pretty 200 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 3: messed up with the saboxone and I had been stealing 201 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:47,679 Speaker 3: to to support my drug and gambling habit. 202 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,319 Speaker 2: Wow, and. 203 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 3: Was shoplifting in an Apple store? Yeah, in an Apple store. 204 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 3: And when I have to articulate it out loud, it's 205 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 3: still just punching the gut because I have to reconcile 206 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 3: that it was me that did it anyway. So I 207 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,000 Speaker 3: went to you got to be pride of your cars. 208 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 2: This is your experiences. Yeah, if you didn't have these experiences, yeah, 209 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,199 Speaker 2: you couldn't help others with theirs. So right, be proud 210 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:15,080 Speaker 2: that you went through this show. 211 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 3: Thanks man. So at that point, you know, my ex 212 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 3: wife and I and she's amazing. We were married for 213 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,440 Speaker 3: twenty years. We had four children thirty one to twenty two, 214 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 3: a boy who works for the Phoenix Suns. He's on 215 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 3: Frank Vogel staff with the sons, and three girls all 216 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,679 Speaker 3: in education. My ex wife's a teacher, but they were 217 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:37,560 Speaker 3: at the time, we're twenty to ten, and you know, 218 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 3: I had been a real drug addict for all of 219 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:45,880 Speaker 3: the little girls' lives. So I went to rehab. My 220 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 3: sister scooped me up, put me in rehab in Louisville, Kentucky, 221 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 3: and I remember getting there and i'd been in rehab before, 222 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 3: and you know, I felt toxic. I felt you know, 223 00:10:56,320 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 3: it's very public, and I just remember getting in my 224 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 3: room there and taking a big sigh of relief and 225 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 3: having a thought of Okay, this is where I need 226 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 3: to be, and for whatever reason, that stint, you know, 227 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,640 Speaker 3: propelled me to Once I got out of detox seven 228 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:20,640 Speaker 3: days of just hell, I started trying to dig into, 229 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,680 Speaker 3: you know, what had landed me there, and you know, 230 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 3: kind of why I did the things that I've done 231 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 3: my whole life. So that's when I think the real 232 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 3: work started. 233 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 1: So I'm going to ask you a deeper question here, 234 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,960 Speaker 1: because again I like to really give everything words so 235 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,240 Speaker 1: we hear it so others don't feel so alone. I've 236 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,520 Speaker 1: never been through detox because I didn't have that level. 237 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: What does detox feel like? 238 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 3: Ooof man? So the first time I got to detox, 239 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 3: I was taking OxyContin and I remember, and again this 240 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:55,559 Speaker 3: is right when OxyContin came out, and I was in 241 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 3: the detox area of rehab, which is more like a 242 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 3: hospital wing, and they were doing a shift change and 243 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 3: one of the nurses was talking to the other nurse 244 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 3: and one of them said, Okay, what's he in for 245 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 3: talking about me? And she said he's in for oxy 246 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 3: contin and she went the other one went ooh boy, 247 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:21,960 Speaker 3: and she said, yeah, just like heroin seven days a hell. Well, 248 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:27,840 Speaker 3: I just remember going heroin. Wait what and not realizing yeah, 249 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:32,360 Speaker 3: this is synthetic heroin, this is you know, uh. And 250 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,680 Speaker 3: I've not come off of heroin before, but I've come 251 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:39,079 Speaker 3: off oxycont and I've come off viking in massive amounts 252 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 3: of vikinging. And it's no damn jokes. It's throwing up. 253 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 3: It's throwing up. It's hot and cold most of the time. 254 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,320 Speaker 3: I just I remember being in my underwear and being 255 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 3: hot cold, back and forth from the bed to the 256 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,920 Speaker 3: bathroom and nurses coming in what sea seems like every 257 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 3: two minutes, but it's probably every hour or so. It's 258 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:09,280 Speaker 3: just hellish. And I remember getting all being done with 259 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:12,400 Speaker 3: detox that last time. And I talk about this in 260 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,320 Speaker 3: the book. I had had friends coming to visit because 261 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 3: I was in Louisville, Kentucky, and I hadn't been able 262 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 3: to like show any emotion or anything. I was just 263 00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:23,600 Speaker 3: so numb from all the pain medicine and then out 264 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 3: of detox, I was still kind of numb. And Rick Patino, 265 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:30,640 Speaker 3: who I'm sure you know, famous basketball coach. He was 266 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 3: coaching at Louisville at the time, and somebody told me 267 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,480 Speaker 3: I had a visitor. And Rick and a friend of mine. 268 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:38,960 Speaker 3: Vinny Tatum, who worked with Rick, were there to see me, 269 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,400 Speaker 3: and I saw them and I just started bawling, balling, 270 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 3: crying and saying I'm toxic, and I you know, and Rick, 271 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,320 Speaker 3: I've known him for so long. He just looked at 272 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 3: me and said, Rex, listen, you're gonna eat a lot 273 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 3: of shit for a while. You just are. And he said, 274 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 3: and at first, it's going to feel like a big 275 00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:00,360 Speaker 3: beach ball size ball of shit. And he said, if 276 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 3: you do the next right thing, I promise you that 277 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 3: beach ball's going to turn into the size of a basketball. 278 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 3: And then do the next right thing, and then a softball, 279 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,480 Speaker 3: and then a baseball, and then a ping pong ball, 280 00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:14,520 Speaker 3: and finally it'll be a pebble at some point if 281 00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:17,160 Speaker 3: you just keep doing it. And for whatever reason, through 282 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 3: all the tears and the and the feeling sorry for 283 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 3: myself and all of that, it resonated. And Rick's been 284 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,120 Speaker 3: through some stuff, you know, so I knew it was 285 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 3: coming from a place of honesty. He didn't have to 286 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 3: be there. He just showed up. He just showed up 287 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 3: at rehab. It meant something to me. And then when 288 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 3: people start doing that, they're putting faith in you and 289 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 3: you don't want to let them down. And I had 290 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:44,240 Speaker 3: so many people that really, you know, believed enough in 291 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 3: me to hang in there with me. 292 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:48,320 Speaker 2: I think this is a real important thing for people 293 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 2: to hear. 294 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:52,080 Speaker 1: First of all, thank you for vulnerability and sharing all that, 295 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 1: because I think the more people hear it from someone 296 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: that we've put in words in they don't feel as alone. 297 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 2: Right, So I'll go, Okay, that's what he's like. 298 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,560 Speaker 1: Okay, now I have you're giving people a little roadmap. 299 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,040 Speaker 1: This is what it's going to be like, this is 300 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 1: what you could expect. So that's fantastic. But I think 301 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,960 Speaker 1: what I really want people to get from this and 302 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 1: you got for it when we struggle and even in 303 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 1: our darkest moments. And I just talked to a friend 304 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,040 Speaker 1: of mine about this, just going through something and he 305 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 1: feels so ashamed for what he did, and I feel 306 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,560 Speaker 1: a lot of shame. But instead of feeling shame, like 307 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 1: people want the best for us, no matter how much 308 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,480 Speaker 1: we fucked people over, we did this that they just 309 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,400 Speaker 1: want the best for us. They want to see us succeed, 310 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,280 Speaker 1: They want to see a comeback story. 311 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 2: Right, Nobody's like, no one's cut me off. Forever. Yeah, 312 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 2: well you did this the right everybody wants to forgive 313 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 2: and go. Yes, I'm rooting for you right now everybody. 314 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 3: Yep, I couldn't agree more. I really couldn't so many, 315 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 3: you know, and I had so many trust issues from 316 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 3: being a kid and being known and knowing that other 317 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 3: people are going through stuff is you know. And I 318 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,800 Speaker 3: was so proud too. I wouldn't you know, somebody asked 319 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 3: me how I was doing. I could be doing horribly 320 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 3: and be like, I'm doing great, how are you? You know, 321 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 3: just deflect and turn it around on someone else. 322 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,440 Speaker 1: Tell me how after this? So now, look, obviously I'm 323 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,400 Speaker 1: knew from basketball more than anything. But then all of 324 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 1: a sudden, I see fucking Rex Chatman with those feel 325 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:22,080 Speaker 1: good videos and ship on Twitter, which, by the way, 326 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,920 Speaker 1: I'm always telling people get the fuck off social media, yeah, 327 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 1: because that's crushing us. But you that turned it around 328 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: in a sudden, all these feel good moments then and 329 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,880 Speaker 1: then you kind of got dragging the political end of 330 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: it and all this shit. But tell me, ay how 331 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,560 Speaker 1: that just came about be the best part of it. 332 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,800 Speaker 1: But see, like with me, I have a hard time, 333 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 1: Like I don't break minute I've been breaking news anymore 334 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 1: because I don't like looking at my fucking Twitter every 335 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,440 Speaker 1: two seconds and tell me how fat my head looks, 336 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 1: or how I'm full of shit with this or that, whatever, 337 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,080 Speaker 1: you know, the span that just to hate people's few 338 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 1: I'm feelings hurt too much. 339 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,400 Speaker 2: I'm not up for this, right right right? 340 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 3: Uh yeah. I don't know how it really came about. 341 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:06,080 Speaker 3: I was watching a video one day on Twitter and 342 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,640 Speaker 3: I saw a dolphin jump up out of the water 343 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,399 Speaker 3: and hit a guy on a paddle board in the chest. 344 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,159 Speaker 3: And I said to myself, that's a fucking charge, and 345 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,879 Speaker 3: so I tweeted it out there. I figured only basketball 346 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,480 Speaker 3: people would know what the hell I was talking about, 347 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,480 Speaker 3: and it kind of took off and people started sending 348 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,680 Speaker 3: me videos. And I'm not the feel good video kind 349 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 3: of guy. I'm trying to I'm not a feel good 350 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 3: kind of guy anyway, So I'm trying to trick myself 351 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:36,280 Speaker 3: like everyone else, into getting through the day. And people 352 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,920 Speaker 3: started sending me heartwarming videos and dog videos, and I'd 353 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,720 Speaker 3: put those out and pretty soon people started going to 354 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:47,080 Speaker 3: my stupid channel for videos. So that's how that happened. 355 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:50,560 Speaker 3: I don't it's pretty weird because now I run into 356 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:53,359 Speaker 3: as many people who know me from social media than 357 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 3: I do from basketball. 358 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 2: So do you read your mentions or you just. 359 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:03,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't really, I think I've put enough modifications 360 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 3: on the thing that I don't see a lot. Okay, 361 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,639 Speaker 3: I don't. I don't want to do that because it 362 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,399 Speaker 3: can't know. It really can drag you down into a hole. 363 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:15,080 Speaker 3: I don't know how professional athletes do it in this climate. 364 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,159 Speaker 3: We used to just if you didn't read the newspaper, 365 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,200 Speaker 3: that takes a big end. If you didn't listen to 366 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,479 Speaker 3: sports radio, which was hard to do even as you know, 367 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,639 Speaker 3: even if you didn't want to, because those ship these 368 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 3: people are talking about me. I need to know. And 369 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,879 Speaker 3: most a lot of the time it was you know, 370 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:33,359 Speaker 3: that was new when we were growing up, sports radio, 371 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,880 Speaker 3: talk radio, we could avoid it. You can't. These players 372 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:41,200 Speaker 3: cannot avoid the hatred that is spewed at them daily. 373 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 3: And every player has it. You know, there's Lebron, people 374 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,160 Speaker 3: hate Lebron James. There are people that you know, hate Johannis, 375 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 3: they hate Wimby, they hate you know. 376 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,399 Speaker 2: If you sure cancer, they'll. 377 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,040 Speaker 3: Go, yeah, well yeah, thanks, big deal. 378 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,040 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, hey you should have done this few years 379 00:18:59,040 --> 00:18:59,800 Speaker 2: ago before. 380 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,359 Speaker 1: N Yeah, right, And I'm like, look I tell people 381 00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:06,600 Speaker 1: when I tell the players, because players they do like 382 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 1: especially today, finish practice, finish game, boom, right over to 383 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,959 Speaker 1: the locker, and I'm like, and everyone's voice on Twitter, 384 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,639 Speaker 1: it carries the same weight. It could be some fucking 385 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 1: nine year old kid in his mom's basement, but you 386 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,040 Speaker 1: think it's this thirty four year old executive who has 387 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,920 Speaker 1: a line your bosses and they don't, right. And look, 388 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,600 Speaker 1: when I grew up with the Jersey Shore, you got 389 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,040 Speaker 1: your ass kicking. Jersey Shore growing up fucking sucked for 390 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,240 Speaker 1: a month. But now we get our ass kicked every 391 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,680 Speaker 1: second on this. So we've got to be able to 392 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:34,360 Speaker 1: somehow be able to separate the two. 393 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,320 Speaker 2: But man, we don't. And that's interesting too. 394 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,639 Speaker 1: And again I have the social anxiety already, and I 395 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 1: already have an itchy trigger finger fist finger. 396 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,840 Speaker 2: If you will, and you do too. 397 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 1: I started viewing people as those who tweet at you 398 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:50,280 Speaker 1: in a hateful manner. 399 00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:52,199 Speaker 2: And I don't want to do that because I do 400 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 2: want to love people like people. 401 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:56,160 Speaker 1: But what I did realize recently, you know, in all 402 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,480 Speaker 1: the years I've gotten it, Listen, when you host the 403 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:03,080 Speaker 1: UFC like I did, those fans they will yeah, I've 404 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,440 Speaker 1: had a couple of fights and they're like, well, does 405 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,080 Speaker 1: this fat fucker know about fighting? And sure, I did 406 00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:09,560 Speaker 1: it before everybody for anybody in the NFL ever did it. 407 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,760 Speaker 1: I did it, you know, and just murdering me. And 408 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:16,280 Speaker 1: then football fans if you say son, oh yeah, breaking 409 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 1: news story about their team, they don't like they They 410 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:20,320 Speaker 1: act like I'm the one who's trying to. 411 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:24,159 Speaker 2: Get to do with me right crazy. I've never ever, 412 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 2: I've had one time somebody come over me. That's just once. 413 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,760 Speaker 1: But my point is, for the most part, no one 414 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,879 Speaker 1: ever walks over you insist to you. 415 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:32,480 Speaker 3: That's right. 416 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,640 Speaker 1: The way they tweet things at you, and that's trike 417 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:36,040 Speaker 1: me a while to get reckoning with. 418 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel the same. I get people that say 419 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 3: stuff all the time. And not long ago in Kentucky, 420 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 3: a guy came up, this older man came up to me. 421 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,000 Speaker 3: I was at a gas station and he said to me, 422 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,439 Speaker 3: you know, if you thought the way I think this 423 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 3: was more politically kind of motivated. He said, you know, 424 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,480 Speaker 3: if you thought more like the rest of us, your 425 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,360 Speaker 3: life would have been a whole lot easier. I wanted 426 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:03,160 Speaker 3: to say something think, but I didn't. He walks away 427 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,160 Speaker 3: and he turns around and says to me, were gonna 428 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:10,399 Speaker 3: beat Bama this weekend. And so you know, he's just 429 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 3: he's a fan. You know, I could have been, I 430 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,679 Speaker 3: guess I I probably would have been justified insane. But 431 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:22,320 Speaker 3: he just really wanted an interaction and it was okay. 432 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,679 Speaker 3: But those types of things happen, and they you know, 433 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:29,120 Speaker 3: they happen because they see us on TV and. 434 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 1: On Twitter and they learn my one interaction like that. 435 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,800 Speaker 1: So I'm saying one out of millions is some guy 436 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,880 Speaker 1: comes over me in Arizona a couple of years ago. 437 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 1: This guy my friend's party is a place called Bottle 438 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,720 Speaker 1: Blonde downtown. IM my friend Charlie Brooks and hang with him. 439 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,120 Speaker 1: And I told Charlie, I said, hey, man, just kind 440 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,439 Speaker 1: of keep me out of the crowd and probably not 441 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,919 Speaker 1: too great with a bunch of drunk cats, you know, and. 442 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:51,320 Speaker 3: Good for you. 443 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,160 Speaker 1: One guy gets through and he says, hey, Jay Glazer, 444 00:21:55,800 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 1: UFC fucking sucks. I said, okay, okay, but then I 445 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,240 Speaker 1: said okay, and I turned around. He goes, hey, yuh, 446 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,560 Speaker 1: when do you think Colin McGregor's coming back to fight 447 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 1: and I said, what do you care? You just said 448 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,359 Speaker 1: you have fucking sucks and he goes, well, I just 449 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:10,600 Speaker 1: wanted to talk to you. 450 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,800 Speaker 2: I didn't know how else to start the conversation. How 451 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:13,720 Speaker 2: much did you start with that? 452 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,640 Speaker 1: And that's the problem, Like people learned from Twitter how 453 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,879 Speaker 1: to talk to people view us as your friend or 454 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,800 Speaker 1: your your brother, or your mom or your. 455 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,119 Speaker 2: Dad and or you know, your boy. 456 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, you in a respectful manner of view us in 457 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,879 Speaker 1: a way of like, man, this dude needs some love 458 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 1: right now. 459 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:32,320 Speaker 2: That that's it. Don't come to us or something like that, 460 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,359 Speaker 2: right right. Tell me about your book. 461 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,879 Speaker 1: You know how you got your your process? Did you 462 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 1: do it to be cathartic, for you to do it 463 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,479 Speaker 1: to be of service? And loved about it? 464 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,199 Speaker 3: I think all of it, and I'm not sure I 465 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,639 Speaker 3: loved any of it. It was really hard. Seth Davis 466 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,480 Speaker 3: who did most of the great guy. That's a great guy. 467 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,199 Speaker 3: And I've known Seth for years and had he not 468 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,239 Speaker 3: asked me to do it, probably probably wouldn't have done it. 469 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:59,680 Speaker 3: He started around the beginning of the pandemic, and about 470 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,800 Speaker 3: a year into it, Seth hit me one day and said, hey, listen, 471 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,879 Speaker 3: I've got kind of a time sensitive book that I 472 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 3: could really dig in on for like six months. Can 473 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,600 Speaker 3: we push your thing back? I said, fucking right. I 474 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,199 Speaker 3: hate talking about this shit. And I said, what do 475 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 3: you got going on? And he said, well, you know 476 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:20,239 Speaker 3: it's it's a book with Sister Jean and who you know. 477 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 3: Sister Jean is a basketball fan who's one hundred and 478 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,719 Speaker 3: four years old, a nun who's one hundred and four 479 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,960 Speaker 3: years old. And I said to Seth, Oh, Seth, that's 480 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,520 Speaker 3: really sweet that you think I'm going to outlive Sister Jean. 481 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 2: That's fantastic. 482 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 3: Oh okay. So when I was a high schooler fifteen, sixteen, 483 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:44,160 Speaker 3: seventeen years old, my first girlfriend, first love, a girl 484 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,119 Speaker 3: named Sean Higgs and her brother Mark Higgs played in 485 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:49,679 Speaker 3: the NFL. He played at University of Kentucky, played for 486 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,880 Speaker 3: the Dolphins, you know, with Dan Marino and those guys. 487 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,720 Speaker 3: He was a running back. Shawn's black, I'm white. It 488 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,159 Speaker 3: was our first love, you know. Sewan also went to 489 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,040 Speaker 3: the University of Kentucky. People in Kentucky did not like 490 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,720 Speaker 3: us dating. We kind of hid it from people in 491 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,000 Speaker 3: high school and then but she went to Kentucky and 492 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 3: I went to Kentucky. Were the same grade, and we 493 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:11,240 Speaker 3: just assumed we would be able to be boyfriend and 494 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:15,960 Speaker 3: girlfriend publicly there. Well, that was not something that the 495 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,560 Speaker 3: higher ups at the university were going to allow, and 496 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:23,120 Speaker 3: they they repeatedly, you know, let me know that if 497 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,119 Speaker 3: I'm going to see her, then I need to do 498 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 3: it at nighttime. Meanwhile, me and her brother are and 499 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,320 Speaker 3: every kid every. 500 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,800 Speaker 2: Year say this ain't that long ago, like ge, No. 501 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,199 Speaker 3: It's not. I was told, you know, if I'm going 502 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,959 Speaker 3: to see her, see her at night, don't be public. Well, 503 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 3: you know, I'm eighteen, nineteen years old. Well, I sat 504 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,199 Speaker 3: there and took it, and I knew I was going 505 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,199 Speaker 3: to have to tell her. I told her, and I 506 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 3: remember just feeling like the biggest piece of shit in 507 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:53,479 Speaker 3: the world, and she's heartbroken. I'm heartbroken. And the next morning, 508 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:54,520 Speaker 3: by the way. 509 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,000 Speaker 1: Real quick, you're only eighteen or nineteen, like, yeah, your 510 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,280 Speaker 1: brain isn't to handle things like that, even though you're 511 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,359 Speaker 1: a college player on TV, people think you're. 512 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 2: An adult and you're not. 513 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 3: And everything is going fine for me basketball wise, I'm 514 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,160 Speaker 3: that's not an issue. But I woke up the next 515 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 3: morning and I couldn't move I My heart was racing. 516 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,480 Speaker 3: I was having tough, tough time breathing, and I could 517 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,119 Speaker 3: not move my arms off of my chest. I had 518 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,359 Speaker 3: him wrapped around me as tight as I could, and 519 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,960 Speaker 3: I yelled out to my roommate, Reggie Hansen, go get 520 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 3: Dwayne Dwayne Casey, who's one of our assistants. I said, 521 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,639 Speaker 3: I need to go to the hospital. I don't know 522 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,880 Speaker 3: what's wrong. Reggie popped up and came back. I told 523 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,280 Speaker 3: them I needed to go to the hospital. I could 524 00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:39,440 Speaker 3: hear them talking, like, what's wrong with him? If we 525 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,840 Speaker 3: take him the hospital, what's the media going to say? 526 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 3: Why are we going to say he's there? Their answer 527 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 3: was to go get my girlfriend across the street, the 528 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:51,600 Speaker 3: one who I'm being discouraged from seeing. And they took 529 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,439 Speaker 3: us to a booster's house who I loved, Don and 530 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 3: Linda Johnson, and who knew about Sean and I older 531 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,639 Speaker 3: white couple. They didn't give a shit. I stayed with 532 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:05,439 Speaker 3: them for two days. With Sean, I got over it. 533 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,040 Speaker 3: It was for sure a panic attack. I thought it 534 00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:12,200 Speaker 3: was like I'd never attack. I felt like I'd only 535 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,000 Speaker 3: heard of something like well, she had a nervous breakdown. 536 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,400 Speaker 3: That's what I felt like I was having, and there 537 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:20,399 Speaker 3: was no terminology for it, but I felt like I 538 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,400 Speaker 3: was crazy, like I was going crazy. And I got 539 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,440 Speaker 3: over it in two days and I forgot about it 540 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,360 Speaker 3: my whole life. I forgot about it. Coach has never 541 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,880 Speaker 3: brought it up again. Writing this book, I remembered it, 542 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:36,479 Speaker 3: and about six months ago finishing the book, I had 543 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:40,240 Speaker 3: another panic attack, never had one in my life since 544 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:45,920 Speaker 3: before or after. And fortunately my girlfriend, Whitney Lawson was there, 545 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:49,640 Speaker 3: took great care of me for two three days and 546 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 3: I started rebounding from it. You know, there's just, I 547 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,960 Speaker 3: guess a lot of things that you can push away 548 00:26:56,119 --> 00:27:00,600 Speaker 3: and things that are hurtful that you just don't. You know, 549 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 3: I was, I was very young, and I was very 550 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:08,080 Speaker 3: angry and sad, and I was already starting to, you know, 551 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:12,160 Speaker 3: show signs of clinical depression at that point. But nobody 552 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:13,879 Speaker 3: really talked about that stuff. 553 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:14,200 Speaker 2: You know. 554 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,600 Speaker 1: The one thing you not know was that for people 555 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,840 Speaker 1: to hear when you have a panic attack like that, 556 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 1: you're safe. 557 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:23,159 Speaker 3: That's the first thing I talked. So I've never heard that. 558 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:24,240 Speaker 3: I've never heard that. 559 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:24,920 Speaker 2: Yeah safe. 560 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:29,199 Speaker 1: So just so you know, My first panic attack was 561 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:33,080 Speaker 1: on air on Fox. I was in an empty Raider stadium. 562 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,640 Speaker 1: There was nobody but me and a cameraman, nothing else. 563 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,520 Speaker 1: I was doing a live hit from an empty Raider stadium, 564 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, my heart started racing, my 565 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,400 Speaker 1: eye started shaking, I started sweating, my hands start shaking 566 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 1: like crazy, and the wall. 567 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:47,639 Speaker 2: Star came in. 568 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,480 Speaker 1: I'm like, holy fuck, I'm having a heart attack on 569 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,800 Speaker 1: the air, and now I call it wrestling with my abuser. 570 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 2: I talke to it. I try and comment down as 571 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:56,240 Speaker 2: I'm going well. 572 00:27:56,320 --> 00:28:00,200 Speaker 1: Unfortunately for me, it became habitual every time I I've 573 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,679 Speaker 1: ever done something on air, even scripted, when. 574 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,159 Speaker 2: I did Ballers, when I know they can go cut it, 575 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:06,760 Speaker 2: still it's. 576 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,119 Speaker 1: The first thing I do. And one thing I had 577 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:10,840 Speaker 1: to learn is I'm sick. So I've had it for 578 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 1: two thousand and five on never passed out, never died, 579 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,400 Speaker 1: Nothing's happened, And I learned those little things I could 580 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:19,240 Speaker 1: deal with. The can get a laugh out, it goes away, 581 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:22,200 Speaker 1: but immediately tell yourself I am safe. But also rex 582 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,080 Speaker 1: you have that equity. You know the first time you're safe, 583 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,000 Speaker 1: nothing happened. The second time, nothing happening. So you have 584 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,200 Speaker 1: to remind yourself and say fuck you to that abuser. No, 585 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,560 Speaker 1: I'm safe, I'm good. And it was I was getting 586 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 1: my heart checked out for twelve years for a heart. 587 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,280 Speaker 3: Attack, twelve years wow. 588 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,200 Speaker 2: Until I heard Terry Bradshaw talk about it one day 589 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 2: with us, and I'm like, I'll be that's what that's 590 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,600 Speaker 2: what I have. That's it. Thank god I work with 591 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 2: Terry and he's been suffering it for years. 592 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:54,480 Speaker 3: And that and that that guy, that guy was everything 593 00:28:54,560 --> 00:29:00,280 Speaker 3: to us. Yes, everything, Corecked. He's somebody like him be 594 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:03,320 Speaker 3: vulnerable and it does almost makes me want to cry. 595 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 3: That's that's a big time human being right there. 596 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,400 Speaker 2: So I want you to know the same thing. 597 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,360 Speaker 1: And you know, so the crazy shit for me is 598 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 1: I wrote the book and where I used to have 599 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,080 Speaker 1: them every week. Now I think the book my book Unbreakable. 600 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,960 Speaker 1: I think it was my way of journaling, and after 601 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,520 Speaker 1: a journaling I haven't had them wow nearly as often. 602 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,680 Speaker 1: I do want to get in. I went last year 603 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 1: with Jimmy Johnson and our producer Bill Richards to Cowboys 604 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,880 Speaker 1: Chargers game where Jimmy Johnson and Jerry Jones kind of 605 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 1: made peace and that's what legend Jimmy's Hall of Fame. 606 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,880 Speaker 1: And my producer doesn't know knows this. Jimmy didn't say 607 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:41,080 Speaker 1: anything too. But the moment we walked on the field, boom. 608 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:45,040 Speaker 1: I had one more panic attacks ever had. But I 609 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:47,280 Speaker 1: don't remember much of being on. 610 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:49,240 Speaker 3: Manage. 611 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:54,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, I to manage it. I went there, but it 612 00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 2: lasted for forty. 613 00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:00,120 Speaker 3: Fucking Oh my god. That's had to seem like a 614 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:00,600 Speaker 3: a whole day. 615 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:01,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I. 616 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,200 Speaker 1: Don't remember saying certain things. Search so I asked people after, Hey, 617 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,600 Speaker 1: was I did. I seem okay, Like, yeah, you seem fine. 618 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:10,440 Speaker 1: So I'm like, so at least I know, yeah, but. 619 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, so I just want you to know that, man, 620 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:13,320 Speaker 2: you're safe. 621 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:16,240 Speaker 1: And you know, for me, I realized writing the book 622 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 1: ended up being cathartic in that way where for the 623 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,720 Speaker 1: most part, I don't have them. That was the first 624 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 1: one I had. I didn't have any on TV last season. 625 00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 1: I don't know when they come. Mind, usually come in 626 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:27,760 Speaker 1: the middle of the night. 627 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,600 Speaker 3: I wake up and I'm terrifying bran my heart like, 628 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:34,080 Speaker 3: oh my god, yeah, it's terrifying anxiety to anxiety. 629 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:34,959 Speaker 2: Well that's what caused it. 630 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, And then you try and figure out what 631 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,000 Speaker 1: it is and like, what's causing. 632 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,800 Speaker 2: This, what's the root? And I guess that's where the 633 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:41,520 Speaker 2: journaling comes in. 634 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,040 Speaker 3: So the sports stuff is kind of crazy too, and 635 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 3: I talk about this in the book. I've never thought 636 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,520 Speaker 3: this was weird my whole life until I started writing 637 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:53,200 Speaker 3: the book. So when I was in the third grade, 638 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,760 Speaker 3: my dad coached basketball. He was a he was a 639 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 3: professional basketball player, but then he coached basketball, and so 640 00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:02,240 Speaker 3: I've grown up around it my whole life. Third grade 641 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:06,000 Speaker 3: championship game at our middle school. I go out, We 642 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,680 Speaker 3: walk into the gym. The gym's packed, it's you know, 643 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,160 Speaker 3: two hundred people there maybe, And I look in the 644 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,680 Speaker 3: stands and my dad has brought his team of high 645 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:19,840 Speaker 3: school kids who are my idols. They're like pro players 646 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,080 Speaker 3: to me. And I go out for the jump ball 647 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:27,840 Speaker 3: and threw up right at half court. Embarrassed, embarrassed kids 648 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 3: all around everything. They cleaned it up. I felt like 649 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:36,040 Speaker 3: fucking Superman and went at it. We win, going out. Okay, 650 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:41,160 Speaker 3: So my dad, who coaches, when I would be in 651 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,560 Speaker 3: the locker room all the time, halftime, before the games, 652 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:47,480 Speaker 3: all that stuff. You know, he's a legendary cusser. He's 653 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,600 Speaker 3: Bobby Nightlight. But after he'd give his pregame talk, he'd 654 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:52,880 Speaker 3: go straight into the stall, stick his finger down his 655 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,520 Speaker 3: throat and throw up. Most of the time's dry heave 656 00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:00,719 Speaker 3: hadn't eaten for day or hours and whatnot. After I 657 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,400 Speaker 3: threw up in the third grade, every game I played 658 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:08,480 Speaker 3: after that, from third grade through my second year in 659 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:12,320 Speaker 3: the NBA, I stuck my fingers down my throat to 660 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,120 Speaker 3: throw up before the game. And once I did, I 661 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,360 Speaker 3: felt great. And I did it, you know, twenty minutes 662 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,000 Speaker 3: before the game, and if I didn't, if I didn't, 663 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:24,720 Speaker 3: just do it naturally. So it became a thing I 664 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:28,120 Speaker 3: throw up. I would throw up before and I would 665 00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:29,959 Speaker 3: try to get over that because we're playing eighty two 666 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,240 Speaker 3: games in the NBA. It's hard, and I'm trying not 667 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:36,560 Speaker 3: to eat too much and I'm run down, and so 668 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 3: every now and then I would not do it. And 669 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,840 Speaker 3: I can remember Dell Curry, Muggsy Bogues, my early teammates, 670 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,520 Speaker 3: two of my best friends, looking over to me during 671 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,080 Speaker 3: a game, you know, in the first quarter, and I've 672 00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,600 Speaker 3: missed my first four and they're like, did you go 673 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:55,400 Speaker 3: fucking throw up? Please? Go throw up so you know again. 674 00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:59,680 Speaker 3: And I realized just recently that I do this. My 675 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:03,520 Speaker 3: friends have always joked with me about when I brush 676 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:07,600 Speaker 3: my teeth, I gag. I'll brush my teeth, I'll brush 677 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:12,000 Speaker 3: my tongue, but I make myself gag like I'm throwing up. 678 00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:16,920 Speaker 3: And I realized not long ago that I do that 679 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:20,600 Speaker 3: before I go out in public. I do it. It's 680 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,480 Speaker 3: just a it's a tool for you, it's a tool 681 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,960 Speaker 3: for me. But is that okay? Fuck? 682 00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:31,040 Speaker 2: Yes, it's okay, Okay, it works. That's what I'm saying. Listen, 683 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,440 Speaker 2: here's why it's not like just okay, it's amazing. 684 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:34,160 Speaker 3: Okay. 685 00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,400 Speaker 2: All you're doing is making yourself gag to be able 686 00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:37,120 Speaker 2: to go out there and. 687 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:39,600 Speaker 1: Be human, right where in the past you would take 688 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,080 Speaker 1: oxy cotton and viking it right. 689 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,120 Speaker 2: If that ain't a fucking win, I don't know what 690 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:45,080 Speaker 2: it is. And that's what we're here to do. 691 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:47,520 Speaker 1: We're here to give people ideas and take shame away 692 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:49,320 Speaker 1: and tell them no, this is finally, this is great. 693 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,000 Speaker 2: By the way, patitude and planets for fighters. 694 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,960 Speaker 1: Right, you're sitting back, Oh, athletes are weird, man, But 695 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:57,200 Speaker 1: I'm saying fighters, yea. 696 00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:58,800 Speaker 2: There and you're like, here's the toughest cond world. 697 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,200 Speaker 1: I can't tell you how many guys are back there 698 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:06,280 Speaker 1: shipping their pants off, squirting fu can Like. 699 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,640 Speaker 2: It's okay to be scared, it's okay to be afraid, 700 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:09,760 Speaker 2: it's okay to have fear. 701 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 1: Right, it's you know. And whatever you could do to 702 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:15,759 Speaker 1: make it not cripple you, that's your superpower. So use 703 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,799 Speaker 1: what you have right there. Man, I picked up a 704 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,600 Speaker 1: fucking great tool where it don't have to use drugs. 705 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,200 Speaker 1: I think that's incredible. And for that, you got to 706 00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:25,680 Speaker 1: love yourself, all right. We don't love ourselves up and 707 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:26,840 Speaker 1: up and we find things like that. 708 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:28,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm trying. 709 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:33,160 Speaker 1: I found laughter like I'm having if I'm having a 710 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 1: real bad one. 711 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,040 Speaker 2: On the show, So I can't stop on live TV 712 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,719 Speaker 2: and go wait, guys, oh shit, I'm going through it. 713 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,439 Speaker 1: So as I'm on TV having a panic attack, I'm 714 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:45,520 Speaker 1: literally talking to the voices in my head saying no, 715 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,800 Speaker 1: not today, I'm safe. Calm down, and I'll push out 716 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:52,399 Speaker 1: a joke as fast as I can, good or bad. Yeah, 717 00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:56,360 Speaker 1: So when I start laughing that everything regulates from that 718 00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:56,799 Speaker 1: for me? 719 00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,560 Speaker 2: Is that for me? Is that that that gag reflects you. 720 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,279 Speaker 3: Yeah out, yeah good, that's good. 721 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:03,719 Speaker 2: Before I let you go again, tell people the name 722 00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:04,240 Speaker 2: of the book. 723 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:06,360 Speaker 3: The name of the book is it's hard for me 724 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,000 Speaker 3: to live with me, and I. 725 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:11,640 Speaker 2: Want you to start making sure that you learn to 726 00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:12,760 Speaker 2: love to deliver yourself. 727 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:15,160 Speaker 1: Now, thanks, that's it, right, because the more you'll be 728 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,200 Speaker 1: able to do that, bro, the more you'll be able 729 00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:19,759 Speaker 1: to help people. I literally one day, I'm sitting there 730 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,360 Speaker 1: and I'm meditating, and I'm in Thailand. I went on 731 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:26,239 Speaker 1: this mind body spur thing and I always felt I'm 732 00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,920 Speaker 1: a big god guy and I know God loves me, 733 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,960 Speaker 1: but I felt all these things in the universe were 734 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:34,160 Speaker 1: against me. And I've never had love. I'm finally getting married. 735 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,480 Speaker 1: I've been married once before it wasn't great, but I 736 00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:39,600 Speaker 1: met the love of my life. I'm fifty four. So 737 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:42,000 Speaker 1: it's like, man, and if I didn't have this little 738 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,319 Speaker 1: talk with God in the universe, it's almost like I'm 739 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:47,319 Speaker 1: in this meditation for like three days and working with 740 00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,719 Speaker 1: these monks. It's like I'm sitting there and it's like 741 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,160 Speaker 1: God in the universe said, hey, no one's against you, 742 00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:54,719 Speaker 1: like we all love you, but we needed you to 743 00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:55,520 Speaker 1: feel this pain. 744 00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:57,840 Speaker 2: So you can help others through theirs. 745 00:35:58,120 --> 00:35:58,440 Speaker 3: Wow. 746 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,200 Speaker 2: And at the same time we need you to see 747 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,480 Speaker 2: we made all your other dream come true to keep 748 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:07,600 Speaker 2: you afloat. Ye, same for you. 749 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,440 Speaker 1: Right, So you've been in this paint, so now it's 750 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:12,560 Speaker 1: time to like, Man, I'm gonna love myself up for 751 00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:15,319 Speaker 1: my scars. I'm gonna love myself up that I've been 752 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,200 Speaker 1: through this and all the people that you help and 753 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,759 Speaker 1: all the people I help that's been on any three 754 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,040 Speaker 1: pointer you could hit, it's been on any scoop I 755 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,000 Speaker 1: could deliver, right, But we got to start learning to 756 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:25,840 Speaker 1: give ourselves a gratitude. 757 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, right, because then we'll help a lot more people. 758 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:29,560 Speaker 3: Agree, I agreed, all right. 759 00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,480 Speaker 1: My last question for you ask every guest this, give 760 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,400 Speaker 1: me the one moment you might have said already, so 761 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,600 Speaker 1: you could say, tell me what we said, the one 762 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:40,600 Speaker 1: moment that should have broken you and could have broken you, 763 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,000 Speaker 1: but didn't, and as a result, you came to the 764 00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:46,560 Speaker 1: other side of that tunnel stronger for it and breakable forever. 765 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,160 Speaker 3: I think it had to be the last time in 766 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:55,800 Speaker 3: rehab that we just spoke about you know, looking back, 767 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,840 Speaker 3: I guess and from the outside looking in, you could 768 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,840 Speaker 3: maybe see where somebody might give up. I was so 769 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,960 Speaker 3: fortunate and that I had so much love when I 770 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,799 Speaker 3: screwed up so many people that I felt I had 771 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:12,240 Speaker 3: let down my kids, starting with my kids, my ex wife, 772 00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:17,680 Speaker 3: my friends, my friend's kids who looked up to me, 773 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:23,719 Speaker 3: and I felt a responsibility to try to make them 774 00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:27,440 Speaker 3: proud of me again. And I understand that some people don't, 775 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,520 Speaker 3: you know, make that effort, or you don't even get 776 00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:32,840 Speaker 3: the chance to make that effort. I had the chance. 777 00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,759 Speaker 3: I was still alive, and I was felt like I 778 00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:39,479 Speaker 3: was at rock bottom. And I have to say it's 779 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:43,160 Speaker 3: for different reasons that I'm proud of it, but as 780 00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:46,080 Speaker 3: much as anything, I was able to start speaking to 781 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,879 Speaker 3: groups and whatnot. And one day I was in my head, 782 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:52,040 Speaker 3: and I think I did talk about this in the book. 783 00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:53,880 Speaker 3: One day I was in my head and I just 784 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,120 Speaker 3: wanted to get to my workout. I didn't want to 785 00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,160 Speaker 3: talk to anyone. It was not in that mood. I 786 00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:02,000 Speaker 3: wasn't in that head. I've learned that I can't go 787 00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:05,799 Speaker 3: out like that, like I have to understand people are 788 00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:08,239 Speaker 3: going to come up and I have to, you know, 789 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,880 Speaker 3: cope with that. But I went got to the gym 790 00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,720 Speaker 3: and this kid was at the front desk, eighteen nineteen 791 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:18,360 Speaker 3: years old and he said, hey, Rex Chapman. I said yep, 792 00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:22,440 Speaker 3: and I kind of just kept walking and I started swimming. 793 00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:24,839 Speaker 3: I was finishing my swim, and I started thinking about it. 794 00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:28,240 Speaker 3: What a what a dick I was for just blowing 795 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:31,120 Speaker 3: this kid off. And I came back out and he 796 00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:34,680 Speaker 3: was getting my attention again. He said, mister Chapman, and 797 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,960 Speaker 3: I said, yeah, yeah, how are you? And he said, listen, 798 00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,759 Speaker 3: I just wanted to tell you. You spoke at a thing 799 00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:44,400 Speaker 3: about six months ago and my dad was there and 800 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:48,040 Speaker 3: he hasn't had a drink in six months. And I 801 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:52,319 Speaker 3: just can't thank you. And I started tearing up. Felt 802 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:55,279 Speaker 3: like the biggest asshole in the world. This kid just 803 00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:59,560 Speaker 3: wanted to share something that was really really important to him. 804 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:03,680 Speaker 3: And you know, in that moment, I you know, I 805 00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:06,879 Speaker 3: think I kind of realized, all right, well, this can 806 00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,200 Speaker 3: help other people, you know, it can help other. 807 00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:10,759 Speaker 1: People, good man, And that's why you got to love 808 00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,520 Speaker 1: yourself up. So yeah, you could feel these more. 809 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:16,520 Speaker 2: And that's our equity, man. Yeah, that's it, right, Gus. 810 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:18,200 Speaker 2: We're able to do this. We can make a change. 811 00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:18,640 Speaker 3: Man. 812 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:19,480 Speaker 2: I'm proud of you, dude. 813 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:23,759 Speaker 1: I appreciate your brother, Rex Chapman. Man, you definitely are unbreakable. 814 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:27,040 Speaker 1: Thank you for joining the Unbreakable Mental Wealth podcast, My dude, 815 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:28,919 Speaker 1: and keep keep inspiring man. 816 00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:30,000 Speaker 2: Everybody get his book. 817 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:32,920 Speaker 3: Thanks Jay, you do the same. Keep rolling. Let's get 818 00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:33,720 Speaker 3: together in Phoenix. 819 00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:35,040 Speaker 2: Absolutely, God bless your brother.