Speaker 1: Hell I Suck at Dating with Dean Ungler and Jared
Speaker 1: Haven and I heard radio podcast. What's going on? Everyone?
Speaker 1: Welcome to an all new episode of Help I Suck
Speaker 1: At Podcast at Dating. Uh. It's Dean Angler here, joined
Speaker 1: as always by Jared. We don't have a great guest
Speaker 1: for you guys this week. Well we have. We do
Speaker 1: have a guest, but that's later in the week. So
Speaker 1: this week it's just gonna be Jared kind of filling
Speaker 1: us in on dad life. Um, maybe it explained this
Speaker 1: new barber that he went to. Um, what's going on
Speaker 1: with you? Like the haircut? What's going on with the
Speaker 1: haircut right now? What? Well? I mean obviously I've had hair,
Speaker 1: but like it looks good, you just haven't styled it
Speaker 1: this morning. Maybe that's so I definitely have not styled it.
Speaker 1: I have had hair right now. Uh, dude, No, My
Speaker 1: barber is awesome. His name is Caleb. He does such
Speaker 1: a great job as so as I put a little
Speaker 1: jel in this thing, it's gonna be fire. So do
Speaker 1: you prefer yourself with law or short hair? I'm going
Speaker 1: my hair back out. I realized I'm a long hair
Speaker 1: person now, so I feel naked without long hair, I
Speaker 1: definitely feel the same one. You kind of look like
Speaker 1: a little bit of Sean Hunter right now. That's like
Speaker 1: your hair and Jude, I'm digging the like that's the
Speaker 1: exact same thing. It's I'm in this weird, awkward phase
Speaker 1: where the hair on my top of my head is
Speaker 1: really long and the hair on the side of my
Speaker 1: heads is like short but like getting long, and I
Speaker 1: don't have any other options other than to just like
Speaker 1: push it back like this, So I'm going to boy
Speaker 1: meets World. Yeah, and you should put a leather like
Speaker 1: an oversized leather jacket on baggy pants with like the
Speaker 1: silver chain that's a belt but also like hangs down
Speaker 1: by the side. Bro. Well, when I was dogging you
Speaker 1: for your hair style, I thought you were gonna come
Speaker 1: back strong and make fun of mine. So I mean, hey,
Speaker 1: I appreciate the no. I like it's a bit compliment.
Speaker 1: I've decided that I think I'm a short hair guy now.
Speaker 1: I think I've decided, like, I think that's just my
Speaker 1: move for the foreseeable future, because Dude, I miss my
Speaker 1: long hair hair, but I miss my long hair because
Speaker 1: I miss being And I feel like you can relate
Speaker 1: to this like unconventional. You know, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be the guy that just traditionally has short hair. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want something different. But now you know, I'm a dad,
Speaker 1: I'm a business owner. I you know, I feel like
Speaker 1: I look more cleaned up with short hair. I think
Speaker 1: it's just time. Man. I think I'm in that stage
Speaker 1: of my life. I'm thirty three years old. I'm just
Speaker 1: the short hair guy. Now. Yeah, I get that, especially
Speaker 1: for you, you got your dad, Like you said, business owner,
Speaker 1: you kind have long hair work in the restaurant because
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, you're getting hairs and people's coffees
Speaker 1: and stuff. No one wants that, even like dude, when
Speaker 1: I walked up with like when we first open and
Speaker 1: I was just working a hundred hours, so I would
Speaker 1: look disgusting. I'd have my long hair, my backwards hat,
Speaker 1: my sweatshirt on, and I would have filth all over
Speaker 1: my jeans because I'm just like cooking and doing making
Speaker 1: washing dishes, do whenever I need to do. And I'd
Speaker 1: go out and i'd be like, yeah, I'm the owner.
Speaker 1: High nice to meet you. And they're like oh hello,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, you know, it's just I'm grinding.
Speaker 1: I'm grinding here. So I was like, I got talking
Speaker 1: at they like pull the waiters out and they're like, hey,
Speaker 1: some homeless man is in here saying he's the owner
Speaker 1: of the restaurant. Um, excuse me, could you get security
Speaker 1: to escort that gentleman away with the long hair? The
Speaker 1: other I I saw a video I went golfing with
Speaker 1: Wells and Ben like in February of this year. So
Speaker 1: what is that like three months ago? And um, they
Speaker 1: took a video, I mean one of the holes. And
Speaker 1: this was like right after I had just gotten a
Speaker 1: haircut like that, you know, this classic guy's haircut right
Speaker 1: now where it's like the high and tight and then
Speaker 1: you got all that length on top to style it
Speaker 1: however you want. And I saw the hair I watched
Speaker 1: the video back and I saw like my haircut under
Speaker 1: my hat, and I was like this, this, this haircut
Speaker 1: does not suit me in the slightest because a I uh,
Speaker 1: you know, like you said, I like to maybe at
Speaker 1: least pretend like I'm a little more unconventional and be
Speaker 1: I've put on a lot of weight, and short hair
Speaker 1: really tends to accentuate the weight gain, Like in the
Speaker 1: face and stuff, and so I had, you know, and
Speaker 1: I had body. It's more for you to do begin with. Like,
Speaker 1: even when I was in peak physical condition for myself,
Speaker 1: I thought that I look like dog crap. So um,
Speaker 1: it's only gone downhill from there. And Caitln Halen gives
Speaker 1: me crap for it all the time. But I saw
Speaker 1: I watched the video and I had this big, you know, uh,
Speaker 1: cumbersome lower body, and I was like, oh, you look
Speaker 1: so fat. And I looked up at my head and
Speaker 1: I had this like tight little hair cut and I
Speaker 1: was like, those things just don't match up very well.
Speaker 1: And so ever since I saw the video, I haven't
Speaker 1: cut my hair since, and I don't plan on cutting
Speaker 1: my hair for there's forty years, maybe fifty years. So hides. One,
Speaker 1: you don't look like you've gained anyway, but two, I
Speaker 1: feel you because I have the same body. It's this
Speaker 1: warfare of man where I like, I try I've had
Speaker 1: always I've always like liked long hair because I like
Speaker 1: hiding my features because I feel like I look better
Speaker 1: when I'm hidden. But now I think I'm just in
Speaker 1: the stage where it's like this is just like I
Speaker 1: can't this is this is it, This is it. This
Speaker 1: is the guy that I am. You know, short hair
Speaker 1: and all, but you are you are you are At
Speaker 1: least I would say you're You're built, you put together
Speaker 1: a little bit better than me, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I don't know if i'd say that. I mean, dude,
Speaker 1: I saw you know what's funny you're talking about how
Speaker 1: you saw a picture of yourself. I did the same thing.
Speaker 1: It was the first time I went golfing all year,
Speaker 1: Just like a week and a half ago. I played
Speaker 1: nine holes of a buddy of mine. He took a
Speaker 1: picture on the first hold of me swinging because he's
Speaker 1: like first time out, and I was like, bro, I
Speaker 1: gotta like I have a little belly. I got a
Speaker 1: little belly. And it's like, foule a man can't say
Speaker 1: the real word on here because they'll get edited out.
Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, man, just I don't have time to
Speaker 1: work out as much as I have and did I
Speaker 1: work in a coffee shop, so it's like I'm hungry, bro,
Speaker 1: I just grab a blueberry muffin, scarf it down and
Speaker 1: and then like that's my day. I'd be eating all day,
Speaker 1: especially the pastries. I remember not even not even recently,
Speaker 1: like two years ago, maybe like even a little bit
Speaker 1: more than that. I was at the beach with a
Speaker 1: bunch of our friends and Nick was there. Uh and
Speaker 1: Nick is, you know, incredible shape, especially for a fifty
Speaker 1: year old man, um and five now. But he looks
Speaker 1: over at me and we're all shirtlets, just like hanging
Speaker 1: on the beach. I just like like laying back, relaxing
Speaker 1: on the towel and you know, playing some beeble outside
Speaker 1: of my school now. Uh. And he sees me and
Speaker 1: he looks me up and down and he goes, are
Speaker 1: you ever gonna get back in shape again? And this
Speaker 1: was two and a half years ago, back when I
Speaker 1: was like not in good shape, but I was in
Speaker 1: better shape than I am now. And so it's just
Speaker 1: it's just gets to or us every single day. But
Speaker 1: such as life, I guess, such as what's going on? Such?
Speaker 1: Well such as life is that my wife is just
Speaker 1: like coming in or not? Yes, of course, So you
Speaker 1: need to sign this. Okay, I'm signing it right now again. Alright, alright,
Speaker 1: I'm the house. Well, so here's the thing. We want
Speaker 1: to move closer to the coffee shop, Like we talked
Speaker 1: about on the podcast before we're about thirty five for
Speaker 1: a minutes away. We found a place that would love.
Speaker 1: It's a condo. This morning we fell in love with
Speaker 1: the we you know, we put a bit into a house.
Speaker 1: We've seen like probably I don't know, ten twelve houses
Speaker 1: at this point. We saw one like a month ago
Speaker 1: that we loved, put an offer in, we got out
Speaker 1: bit buy a lot, and it was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: we're never buying a house because of the market so
Speaker 1: crazy right now, like we can't pay for a house
Speaker 1: that's just obscene or obscenely over priced. But we found
Speaker 1: a condo this morning. It's relatively in our price point
Speaker 1: and we put a like a like a verbal offer
Speaker 1: in and they're like, we're probably gonna accept that. So
Speaker 1: now we're like, again, everything we need to get done immediately,
Speaker 1: try to get this offer wrapped up, because dude, if
Speaker 1: we get this place, it's freaking awesome. It's great. It's
Speaker 1: literally four minutes from the shop. It's in South Kingstown,
Speaker 1: which is beautiful part of Rhode Island. It's just like
Speaker 1: everything we want. So now actually it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: doing the wife thing and just make it chere alright.
Speaker 1: Signed signed three times. Anyway, that's what my life is
Speaker 1: right now. But I was going to didn't. You guys
Speaker 1: just went, let's let's focus on the house thing for
Speaker 1: a second, and you guys just like buying the house
Speaker 1: out there recently back in December. Yeah, so we bought
Speaker 1: a house, like I said, in a place called West Granders,
Speaker 1: Rhode Island, which is a little bit out there. It's woodsy.
Speaker 1: But the reason we did that was because the housing
Speaker 1: markets so crazy right now. Where we wanted to buy,
Speaker 1: which is in southern Rhode Island, was too crazy and
Speaker 1: way too overpriced. And you know, we're talking about properties
Speaker 1: that are good properties, but like we're paying way more.
Speaker 1: So we're like, okay, well we need to look in
Speaker 1: other places so we can pay for something that we
Speaker 1: feel like our money is is going into. That's well,
Speaker 1: So we found a house that really liked, ended up
Speaker 1: buying it in December, and it's a well, like I said,
Speaker 1: thirty five minutes from the shop. And we're like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's fine, I don't mind commuting, so on and so forth. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so we're like, whatever, it's fine, we're used to commute.
Speaker 1: Having said that, now that I'm at the shop, constantly,
Speaker 1: you know, six times a week, at least sixty hours
Speaker 1: a week, especially with Dawson here. Now, it's just impossible
Speaker 1: she's here alone all the time. It is very much
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say it's in the middle of nowhere,
Speaker 1: but it's not a very populated area, so you know,
Speaker 1: it's a little nerve wreaking a night. Sometimes I don't
Speaker 1: get home to like one in the morning because I'm
Speaker 1: closing up and I'm just not spending as much time
Speaker 1: with Dawson as I want to. So if we moved
Speaker 1: to a place closer, I'd be able to bounce back
Speaker 1: and forth much easier than I in multiple times exactly
Speaker 1: where I can't bounce back forth right now because it's
Speaker 1: you know, forty minutes each way. Are gonna do about
Speaker 1: your careent house, we would sell it, even though you
Speaker 1: just bought it six months ago, I know, but you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, we trust me. Ashley and I have had
Speaker 1: many conversations. It was like, Okay, either we stick to
Speaker 1: this house and be like, all right, let's just try
Speaker 1: to ride it out for the next couple of years
Speaker 1: and see how it goes, or we just bite the
Speaker 1: bullet right now, try to figure out the best deal
Speaker 1: we can possibly get, move on from it, you know,
Speaker 1: I know it's gonna suck. Just move over, you know,
Speaker 1: move again, and then I think increase our quality of life,
Speaker 1: you know, in the short term. So that's the decision
Speaker 1: we decided to go in and and if we get
Speaker 1: this place today, that would work out really well. Would
Speaker 1: you guys be able to like rent it and then
Speaker 1: like still build equity in that house and then just
Speaker 1: buy the new house and then living that one, you know, Well,
Speaker 1: what we're gonna try to do is potentially um sell
Speaker 1: this by the new property and then in a couple
Speaker 1: years if we end up building or you know, hopefully
Speaker 1: doing something like because this is it's a condo and
Speaker 1: be our forever home, but like it's great for the
Speaker 1: next few years. But if we do move in our
Speaker 1: forever home in like four years, maybe if we're okay
Speaker 1: to keep the condo, rent that out and build more
Speaker 1: equity that way rather than having two properties right now.
Speaker 1: And it's we don't really like that. I don't think
Speaker 1: this place could be really that much of a renting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not renting, it's just like two family owned. It's
Speaker 1: you'd have to see it, and you'd be like, no
Speaker 1: one's gonna rent here because it's like, um, it would
Speaker 1: be like a single family. It's just kind of the moonious.
Speaker 1: There's nothing like to rent, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: because if you rent, you want to be around places,
Speaker 1: so it's easier and convenient. Like that's the whole point
Speaker 1: of renting, right, it's convenient. There's nothing convenient about this location.
Speaker 1: All right, Well here I'm on Zillo right now for
Speaker 1: North Kingstown, Rhode Island. There's some good options here. Let's
Speaker 1: see three bed, three bath square feet seven fifty thousand dollars, Like,
Speaker 1: that's a good deal. Um, let's see two bed, three bath,
Speaker 1: two thousand square feet six hundred fifty thousand how much? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's probably you know, there's a lot of like colonials
Speaker 1: that are probably built like the eighteen or early nineteen hundreds,
Speaker 1: which is a very great character. I'm sure there are
Speaker 1: many ghosts in there, which would be the ghosts, but
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of coreokie floorboards to so
Speaker 1: many creeks and cracks. But that's I mean, that's that's
Speaker 1: a that's big news though, because I mean, obviously buying
Speaker 1: a house is a big deal. Hopefully you guys get it.
Speaker 1: I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope a sense
Speaker 1: of positive us your way. Appreciate it. Put it into
Speaker 1: the universe, baby, yeah, put it in the universe. That's
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't envy that you guys have to
Speaker 1: move all your crap over again. That's always a big,
Speaker 1: big bummer. But Dawson's first move. Dawson's going on his
Speaker 1: first plane later on today. We're gonna see how that
Speaker 1: goes as well. We're flying out where Virginia, so it's
Speaker 1: an hour so it's just up and down pretty quick,
Speaker 1: which is nice. So it's a nice little tester. So
Speaker 1: we're gonna, like we have it kind of planned out.
Speaker 1: Ashley's gonna sit in the window seat. I'm going to
Speaker 1: sit in the passenger side seats. She'll have Dawson, and
Speaker 1: as soon as like we start taxing, she's gonna give
Speaker 1: him a bottle. Like, so we'll have a bottle about
Speaker 1: two hours before that before we get to the airport.
Speaker 1: As soon as we board, sit down, get comfy, start taxing,
Speaker 1: give him a bottle, and then hopefully we ride this
Speaker 1: hour through and he's just conked out. Nice, I mean,
Speaker 1: that'll be that'll be fun. I always love sitting next
Speaker 1: to the babies on the airplane, So hopefully, guys, I
Speaker 1: don't have anyone sitting next to you. Do you guys
Speaker 1: have any big travel plans coming up at all or
Speaker 1: anything besides Virginia? Uh, you know, we're you know, man,
Speaker 1: we're a couple of travel plans. You know we're going, Uh,
Speaker 1: we have a wedding in San Francisco later this month. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so we're going to the West coast, and you never know,
Speaker 1: you never know what's gonna pop up, man, So we'll
Speaker 1: see west coast to the US coast to USA, West coast, USA.
Speaker 1: That's right, yes, yes, so we'll see, man, we'll see
Speaker 1: what happens. And uh, I'm sure it will certainly keep
Speaker 1: you up to date on everything that happens in our lives.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. When's the wedding in San franc let's
Speaker 1: go late June, so something like that somewhere in there.
Speaker 1: But it's one of her friends and that was actually
Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember Briar. She was one
Speaker 1: of the bride'smaids. Who did she walk down the aisle with? Chad? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Chad she's getting married. So she's getting married. Yeah, she
Speaker 1: proposed to her to her fiance, yeahfrid and her fiance
Speaker 1: is a man, yes, yeah, so she proposed to him.
Speaker 1: Why didn't Rob propose? I know that they were like
Speaker 1: back and forth on this. He wanted to didn't he
Speaker 1: here speaking to the mic. One night they were like
Speaker 1: out drunk and she was like, you know, one day
Speaker 1: I'm going to propose to you. And then he said, oh,
Speaker 1: are you? And then he's like I want to hold
Speaker 1: you to that. And that was early on in them dating,
Speaker 1: and then he kind of kept holding it against her.
Speaker 1: He was like, you know, I would have proposed to you,
Speaker 1: but you said that you were the one who wanted
Speaker 1: to do. It's going to be waiting for that moment.
Speaker 1: Was there some big story for it or like or
Speaker 1: a big moment like leading up to the engagement. She
Speaker 1: actually did it really cute. It's like right before they
Speaker 1: did Thanksgiving together, it was just gonna be the two
Speaker 1: of them for this Thanksgiving and she lit like the
Speaker 1: whole kitchen and family room area up with candles and
Speaker 1: had pictures and stuff all laid out from their relationship,
Speaker 1: like a whole timeline thing. It was really cute. That's
Speaker 1: really cute. I've got a question for you guys now
Speaker 1: that I have you here, Ashley, So, you guys got
Speaker 1: engaged obviously on Bachelor in paradise Um, which is not
Speaker 1: how most people see their proposal going. Has there ever
Speaker 1: been any discussion of like reproposing in a more like
Speaker 1: intimate or personal way? No, would you even want that? No?
Speaker 1: I sometimes think that like second proposals are kind of weird.
Speaker 1: I think the second proposers are fine for like what
Speaker 1: Jojo and Jordan did. I think that actually made a
Speaker 1: lot of sense for them. He had a new ring,
Speaker 1: and why did he have a new ring? She didn't
Speaker 1: like hers? She may have been over hers. Well, it's
Speaker 1: also different on Bachelor because you're like, hey, here are
Speaker 1: the three you choose? Yeah, right right, So that was
Speaker 1: more like a more personal ring. And then also I
Speaker 1: think that it was just like them really deciding this
Speaker 1: was like this is not a bachelor move. This is
Speaker 1: like us actually gonna gage after us feeling so confident
Speaker 1: in our relationship. Because the two of them like definitely
Speaker 1: had a very difficult first year. They say, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: they were like on the verge of breaking up once
Speaker 1: I feel like there's a lot of bachelor couples that
Speaker 1: have a very tough first year because you leave the
Speaker 1: experience and then it's like, oh, okay, now we have
Speaker 1: to go to Shaws together and groceries have to watch
Speaker 1: this season backs all these boys. I've got a question
Speaker 1: for you actually, while I got you here too, um. So,
Speaker 1: Caylin has been sending me engagement rings that she wants,
Speaker 1: and she sent me a four and a quarter carrot
Speaker 1: emerald cut diamond ring, um, which is not very sure.
Speaker 1: It's not cheap, and I don't even know yours like
Speaker 1: a quarter, it's a carrot. I think it's more than
Speaker 1: a carrot. It's it's like a pretty good rock. But
Speaker 1: it's a good ring. I don't know. I'm not a
Speaker 1: very much rememvery knowledge of all this stuff. Sorry, I intered,
Speaker 1: how do I how do I take Caylin up here,
Speaker 1: um and just gently place her on a significantly lower carrot?
Speaker 1: You know? Well, you know what they say, You're supposed
Speaker 1: to spend three months salary on a ring. That's great.
Speaker 1: I would spend zero dollars on it then, because I
Speaker 1: haven't made money in like six months. You're such a dean.
Speaker 1: You're such a dean. M No, perfect, Let go right there. Actually,
Speaker 1: I'll say that for I think that the ring is
Speaker 1: such a big deal and so exciting before you're engaged,
Speaker 1: and then when you're a couple of years into marriage,
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, it really doesn't matter, Like I honestly
Speaker 1: would have been, I'd be happy with with anything. I
Speaker 1: love my ring, but as long as there's a symbol
Speaker 1: on my finger that I'm married, that's all that really matters. Well,
Speaker 1: So we went into the jewelry store to like look
Speaker 1: at stuff and like figure out what she wanted, and
Speaker 1: I like, through it such a big kissy fit when
Speaker 1: we got in there too, because that's exactly what I
Speaker 1: would say. And I was like, I don't even want
Speaker 1: to be in here right now. I don't care what
Speaker 1: I'm wearing on my finger, blah blah blah. Like that
Speaker 1: was my logic, and she was she because you know,
Speaker 1: Klin loves her jewelry and stuff too. So we had
Speaker 1: like a bit of a scuffle a couple of weeks
Speaker 1: ago over it. But I don't know, it's such a
Speaker 1: touchy subject. Especially here's my thing with it too. Klin
Speaker 1: makes significantly more money than I do. And yet here
Speaker 1: I am having to spend all this money on an
Speaker 1: engagement ring that I don't even want, Like I want
Speaker 1: her to get what she wants, but she's the one
Speaker 1: that wants to get married. Yet here I am having
Speaker 1: to spend the money to make this big statement for
Speaker 1: her for something that she wants. And I get it,
Speaker 1: but like it's still it's a you know, yes, Bush,
Speaker 1: that's what it is. Um, I had a point to
Speaker 1: make it. Let me say this, if you ever did propose,
Speaker 1: which you probably will at some point, I think the
Speaker 1: act of you proposing is going to be so much
Speaker 1: more significant to her than the ring itself. Well, I
Speaker 1: would love to believe that, but I don't know if
Speaker 1: that's really I mean, she would, she would, She doesn't care,
Speaker 1: but she does, Carol, she I mean she cares a
Speaker 1: little bit. Like, don't get her a popsicle ring, but
Speaker 1: if you got her any diamond ring that you even
Speaker 1: think the shape is actually pretty important quote quote you know,
Speaker 1: and then you're something like personalized, like something that you
Speaker 1: put thought into, Like you know, I made a deal
Speaker 1: with her. I was like, I'll buy you this engagement
Speaker 1: ring if you buy me a truck because I really
Speaker 1: want a truck right now. Um, so that's like our Okay,
Speaker 1: I just always wanted to Toyota Tacoma, and I think
Speaker 1: it would be cool to have one. So the truck
Speaker 1: and ring is about the same price. This guy, he's Dean,
Speaker 1: is like the most. Oh, I'm against conventional wisdom. I
Speaker 1: don't like doing what other people like doing. I'm going
Speaker 1: to buy a house in Vegas. We're going to rent
Speaker 1: an lay now, dude, I'm domesticated as these days, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of I'm buying this for her, she's buying
Speaker 1: this for me, which raises the big question, how are
Speaker 1: you going to deal with finances when you're married? I mean,
Speaker 1: we basically are married at this point. We've got a
Speaker 1: joint bank account and stuff. Okay, so then why do
Speaker 1: you say it's her money, my money, my gift, her gift,
Speaker 1: because we still have our separate accounts, Like I've got
Speaker 1: my personal account and she's got her personal account, and
Speaker 1: we've got a joint account that we both put money
Speaker 1: into for like house stuff. Um, but you're right, I
Speaker 1: mean I don't I don't know exactly how to how
Speaker 1: to answer that question. Do we still do the same
Speaker 1: thing even when we're married, like because you make more
Speaker 1: money than me, and I still feel your self conscious
Speaker 1: because I'm like, well, I don't want to also know
Speaker 1: that we consider our money this. Yeah, but I think
Speaker 1: a good example is Audrey's, Like I, you have not
Speaker 1: given any of your money towards Audrey's, like something that
Speaker 1: you wanted, you want exactly, and we think about it
Speaker 1: like that account. We don't use that account for that
Speaker 1: for Audrey's own separate thing, but but we put your money.
Speaker 1: You put our money into Audrey's. But like from Mike
Speaker 1: in a way that it made us feel better. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess it's all natural. It's all kind of meant
Speaker 1: like her account. Like from the beginning, it was like
Speaker 1: I'm only going to when we invest in Audrey's and
Speaker 1: have to invest so much money to start this thing,
Speaker 1: like I'm only going to do it from my bank account.
Speaker 1: We're not going to touch yours because we want to
Speaker 1: keep in mind for like all the big future things.
Speaker 1: When I file for chapter eleven, we're fine, But that's okay.
Speaker 1: So that beckons the question too. It's like when we
Speaker 1: so whenever we do anything for our house that we own,
Speaker 1: we split fifty fifty because you know, let's say we
Speaker 1: sell the house in five years, we want to be
Speaker 1: able to split the profit. Just this kind of makes
Speaker 1: it clean and simple. Let's say Audrey's, Um, I don't know,
Speaker 1: someone wants to buy it for a million dollars or
Speaker 1: whatever it is. But you're Jared. You're the only one
Speaker 1: that put money into it. Do you just take all
Speaker 1: that money and then put it in the joint account
Speaker 1: or do you like how do you like? How do
Speaker 1: you divvy it up? Is the big question. You don't
Speaker 1: technically have a joint account, um, so it would go
Speaker 1: back into his account. That's just how we would do it.
Speaker 1: But like, I'm not forcing any split, so so the
Speaker 1: money is also mine just like just you know, like
Speaker 1: he's the guy at the business. You know, he's there
Speaker 1: every day, he does everything on the business end. I
Speaker 1: throw him a couple of bullet pointed emails every now
Speaker 1: and then. And I'm still co owner and she's the
Speaker 1: absentee owner that comes in once a week, and it's like,
Speaker 1: why is that like that? Why don't we do this?
Speaker 1: And it's like all right, listen, lady, Like why don't
Speaker 1: you come in work a twelve hour shift and then
Speaker 1: come talk to me. But listen, look what I added
Speaker 1: to the menu this week. Spiked root beer floats. Come on, now,
Speaker 1: that is a contribution. You're the talent wrangler because you're
Speaker 1: trying to get some people out to Rhode Island. For
Speaker 1: some that was always going to be like my thing. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: speaking of that. When October a busy summer and the
Speaker 1: last we can tune, he apparently can't make it to
Speaker 1: Rhode Island October. Well, I'm going to be in the
Speaker 1: Middle East for a month and a half. Slack. Well,
Speaker 1: that's fair. Where you guys going, I'm going by myself
Speaker 1: to Pakistan. You're going to Pakistan by yourself? Why? What? What?
Speaker 1: What drove you to this? Decis over? If you need
Speaker 1: me again, I'll be packing, thanks ashya Um. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: going in August, August to September, maybe longer. I'm just
Speaker 1: going on a big backpacking excursion through the Himalayas. Damn. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna be gone for a while, but I
Speaker 1: could probably still record the podcast. Maybe, I don't know.
Speaker 1: You might have to step in for a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: But oh uh are one of our producers goes Americans
Speaker 1: hiking in Pakistan always ends up great, always ends up great. Well,
Speaker 1: Tommy called well one out there and he he made
Speaker 1: it out fine. I don't know if it was Pakistan
Speaker 1: where he was, but who did Tommy called it? We
Speaker 1: all you ever hear that story know what happened. He's
Speaker 1: like one of the best rock climbers in the world
Speaker 1: right now. And when he was like a seventeen year
Speaker 1: old teenager, him and a couple of friends went on
Speaker 1: a climbing trip. I think it was Pakistan, or it it
Speaker 1: could have been like Irane or something like that. Uh,
Speaker 1: And they were climbing in the mountains for like a
Speaker 1: few weeks and they were confronted by like a local
Speaker 1: militia and taking hostage as like seventeen year old kids
Speaker 1: American kids. And they were like hostage for like six days.
Speaker 1: And then on one day, the guy that was holding
Speaker 1: him captive like got really close to one of the
Speaker 1: cliff sides and that Tommy ran up and shoved him
Speaker 1: off the cliff. Yeah, and then they ran away and
Speaker 1: we're eventually like left and made it to America. And
Speaker 1: then to make it even more insanes somehow they found
Speaker 1: out like years later that the guy that they shoved
Speaker 1: off the cliffs survived and I don't know what happened
Speaker 1: after that, but it's a pretty crazy story. You should
Speaker 1: check it out. It's uh, it's pretty interesting. You you
Speaker 1: learn a lot about it on this documentary called The
Speaker 1: Don Wall. It's like pret solo, but just like a different,
Speaker 1: different guy climbing. But hopefully it doesn't happen. I don't
Speaker 1: think it will. Well, I'm confused. So when you're held
Speaker 1: hostage and then you push a guy off a cliff
Speaker 1: and you just run, how do you escape Pakistan and
Speaker 1: get back in the United States. Yeah, I don't know
Speaker 1: what you would do. Maybe find like the American consulate
Speaker 1: and you have to go from there. Dude, that's terrifying.
Speaker 1: So wait a minute. So you guys are backpacking, like,
Speaker 1: are you gonna have cell phones? Are you gonna have
Speaker 1: any contact? I don't know. I don't know if I'll
Speaker 1: have cellphones. We're going to the base of K two,
Speaker 1: which is like the third tallest bount in the world,
Speaker 1: so I don't think we'll have much service out there.
Speaker 1: How does feel about this? She's not She's talked about it.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine she wouldn't be she's happy I'm doing
Speaker 1: what I want to do. But she I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to Pakistan in August, and he goes, You're
Speaker 1: going where, and I was like, look at Like, I know, Pakistan.
Speaker 1: It's got a you know, maybe a bit of a
Speaker 1: rough reputation from like the early two thousand's, but it's
Speaker 1: really done a lot for itself in the past decade
Speaker 1: or so, and it's pretty relatively safe. I'm sure it has.
Speaker 1: But just like anywhere in the world, I'm sure that
Speaker 1: has its bad parts. My concern for you would be
Speaker 1: the fact that you have no you know, it's just
Speaker 1: you guys. So it's like if something goes wrong, I know.
Speaker 1: And he's telling me the story about this guy like
Speaker 1: twenty years ago who's pretty much doing the same thing
Speaker 1: that they're doing, and he got held hostage by a
Speaker 1: local tribe and then he ended up in order to escape,
Speaker 1: this guy while like one of the people holding him
Speaker 1: hostage had his back turned next to a cliff. He
Speaker 1: pushed him off the cliff and they ran pushed him off. No,
Speaker 1: it's not let's not put that in the university. Very safe.
Speaker 1: If I make it back, I would love her A
Speaker 1: story like that to have happened to me, What a
Speaker 1: great story to have for your entire life. I don't
Speaker 1: want to get hurt or anything like that. But if
Speaker 1: I am I sured to make get back safely and
Speaker 1: one piece, I would love some some turmoil off. I
Speaker 1: mean it would definitely get some more listeners to this podcast.
Speaker 1: I will say that. Uh, and that's what we need desperately. Yeah,
Speaker 1: speaking of stories, let's get to a couple of emails.
Speaker 1: But before we do that, let's take a quick break.
Speaker 1: All right, we are back, uh, and we're gonna wrap
Speaker 1: up with some emails as we do. I'll read the
Speaker 1: first one. Uh, it's from anonymous. We have to one
Speaker 1: from anonymous, one from Evans. I'll read Anonymous. I want
Speaker 1: to make one quick one quick note. It was Uzbekistan
Speaker 1: is where he was taking that Pakistan. Sorry, okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: thank you, Vivian Clarity. I appreciate it. Are are thought.
Speaker 1: You know, we're You're still going to be in our
Speaker 1: thoughts for that entire moment. I have poor Kalin, she's
Speaker 1: gonna be so stressed anyway. This is from Anonymous. My
Speaker 1: boyfriend of five and a half years broke up with
Speaker 1: me less than a week ago. We started dating in
Speaker 1: college when we were nineteen, and now we're We lived
Speaker 1: together in Los Angeles for almost three years. He completely
Speaker 1: blindsided me and said that we grew apart have different
Speaker 1: interests and priorities now and he feels like he doesn't
Speaker 1: know who he is since we've been together for our
Speaker 1: whole adult lives. I've always had issues with his lack
Speaker 1: of communication and inability to show affection or be verbally affirmative.
Speaker 1: I've always thought it was something he would change eventually,
Speaker 1: since we talked about it all the time, and for
Speaker 1: a while, I thought I would be the one to
Speaker 1: end things if he couldn't change those things. Now I
Speaker 1: moved out and I'm living with my parents. I just
Speaker 1: need help learning how to live without him, bounce back,
Speaker 1: and really just get over this devastating breakup. Any advice
Speaker 1: you have would be great. Mm hmmm um. I uned
Speaker 1: out for a second, So I'll let you answer the
Speaker 1: question person, and then I'll try to piece it together
Speaker 1: with context clues. Michael Peters crashing on me. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to see anyway, Anonymous, given that the l d R
Speaker 1: of what what we just heard? Uh, this person was
Speaker 1: dating someone for five and a half years. They broke up.
Speaker 1: They her boyfriend broke up with her less than a
Speaker 1: week ago. Um. Apparently he was the one throughout their lives,
Speaker 1: throughout the relationship who had difficulty like showing affection or
Speaker 1: being verbally affirmative. Then she thought like, if that didn't change,
Speaker 1: she would have to break up with him. But then
Speaker 1: he ended up breaking up with her, and now she's devastated.
Speaker 1: We had to move back with her parents. She wants
Speaker 1: advice how do I move on? Um? And apparently, uh
Speaker 1: that that the the reason why he broke up with her,
Speaker 1: was saying that not only they grew apart, but he
Speaker 1: feels like he doesn't know who he is without her
Speaker 1: because they've only been together for their whole adult lives
Speaker 1: and he wants to experience different things. Got you, well,
Speaker 1: what a what a great time to be alive because
Speaker 1: now you get a chance to figure out exactly who
Speaker 1: you are by yourself. I think, Uh, I think one
Speaker 1: of the worst things you can do for yourself is
Speaker 1: get lose your identity in a relationship, right or Like,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if it's a romantic relationship or a
Speaker 1: friend or your parents, because then you have no sense
Speaker 1: of identity, You have no idea who you are, what
Speaker 1: you like by yourself. That's why I always advocate for
Speaker 1: calin for instance, travel alone, because you learned so much
Speaker 1: about yourself when you're alone and are forced to do
Speaker 1: things only that you want to do. Because when you're
Speaker 1: living with a partner, traveling with a partner, you're always
Speaker 1: taking their wants and needs into consideration, and you know
Speaker 1: you take yours in a conservation too, but you're always
Speaker 1: doing what's best for the group. And so when you're
Speaker 1: by yourself, you really starts to better understand exactly what's
Speaker 1: best for you. So I think it's a good thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I agree with Dean. I think first, of course,
Speaker 1: it sucks. Nobody wants to get broken up with you
Speaker 1: got blindsided, your heartbroken. It sucks you guys been do
Speaker 1: there for five and a half years. That's a long
Speaker 1: ast time. I remember when my relationship ended after four
Speaker 1: years and uh god, you know what I mean, it
Speaker 1: feels like you're married at that point. So I do
Speaker 1: agree with Dean that this could be a door opening
Speaker 1: rather than a door closing, especially you're so young, you're
Speaker 1: twenty five. I mean, I actually has the same sediment
Speaker 1: that um, you know you sedimentary rock. Yes, that like,
Speaker 1: you enjoy this time alone, use your late twenties to
Speaker 1: not I don't want to say experiment, but like to
Speaker 1: enjoy yourself be alone because hopefully you will find someone else,
Speaker 1: and hopefully the next person that you do end up
Speaker 1: dating is someone that you get married to and spend
Speaker 1: the rest of your life with. So for now, this
Speaker 1: is a really great opportunity to focus on yourself. Do
Speaker 1: things you never would normally do when you were in
Speaker 1: a relationship. Travel, go to different places if you want to, um,
Speaker 1: Summer's coming up, you know, hot girl, summer, girl, summer.
Speaker 1: Just also try to look at the bright side of
Speaker 1: things when you're that age. A little bit less when
Speaker 1: you get in your mid twenties, but you always feel
Speaker 1: like every relationship is like the most important relationship of
Speaker 1: your life. And then you get a little bit older,
Speaker 1: a little more perspective, and you start to realize that
Speaker 1: it's never as big of a deal as it seems
Speaker 1: like it is in the moment. You know, I couldn't
Speaker 1: agree more. Dude. I remember when I was like twelve
Speaker 1: and this girl they want to David and I was like, dad,
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna find another girl like her, and probably
Speaker 1: because I had like, like we talked about body dyspor
Speaker 1: dysmorphia and it was a little chubby as I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: no girl's gonna ever like me. But then I got
Speaker 1: very lucky, so um, yeah, I listen, Anonymous, I agree,
Speaker 1: it sucks and it's really difficult, and I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to belittle your pain right now, but I agree with
Speaker 1: Dean and saying, like, try to view this as an
Speaker 1: opportunity to do things that you wouldn't normally do and
Speaker 1: to explore new options, and that would be my advice.
Speaker 1: And I think sometimes too, it's so easy, and listen,
Speaker 1: I suffer from this all the time, but like it's
Speaker 1: so easy to just like spiral out of control and
Speaker 1: then just like not want to leave your house and
Speaker 1: be depressed and be sad and feel bad for yourself,
Speaker 1: and you know, it's it's it's it's hard to get
Speaker 1: yourself out of that. And trust me, I do it
Speaker 1: all the time. Like I feel bad for myself all
Speaker 1: the time. And then and then I realized, like, listen,
Speaker 1: the only person that's ever going to change in their
Speaker 1: life or is me like I'm the only person that's
Speaker 1: gonna be able to change my own life or my
Speaker 1: own mood or my own happiness. Like, yes, I rely
Speaker 1: on Ashley a lot, but at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: it's it's my decision. And so like it's weird to say,
Speaker 1: but you kind of have to put a little effort
Speaker 1: into being happy and then sometimes happiness just comes after
Speaker 1: you do that. Beautiful and beautifully you said, I finally
Speaker 1: got the email pulled up, so I was just giving
Speaker 1: it for any other important notes that we might have missed. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, that's good advice. I think anonymous Okay,
Speaker 1: Nick Baile could really benefit from taking some of that
Speaker 1: to heart, especially in l A. You know, like you said,
Speaker 1: hawk Girl, summertime, I have a have a ball, hit
Speaker 1: the bungalow, hit water front. I don't know where else
Speaker 1: the kids go these days, but you get the picture.
Speaker 1: What do you say we get to the next one
Speaker 1: we got Evan, Uh, do we want to read it
Speaker 1: or do we want to have Easton read it for us?
Speaker 1: If Easton's ready to go, let's have Eastern do it.
Speaker 1: Thank you for the invite, you guys. I I don't
Speaker 1: speak onless. I'm spoken to on this show, so I
Speaker 1: always wait for your invitation as as we needed to
Speaker 1: be existent. Don't speaking less bookn exactly. I mean there's
Speaker 1: an order here. Okay, this is from Evan. I'm in
Speaker 1: a long term relationship and I don't know what's costing this,
Speaker 1: but I feel like I have no sex drive with
Speaker 1: my partner. My job is very time consuming and stressful,
Speaker 1: so I assume I'm just exhausted after a long day
Speaker 1: of work. But I'm not sure we have a great relationship.
Speaker 1: So I don't think it's her, but I need advice
Speaker 1: from another guy on how to get back at it
Speaker 1: in the bedroom. Mm hmm, tricky, tricky question. Well, go ahead.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, like a, you know, the older
Speaker 1: I get, the less sex drive I have, I know,
Speaker 1: actually laughing, but like it's just a listen, we're married.
Speaker 1: We can talk about these things, especially now, Dean. You
Speaker 1: and I have talked about this at length about how
Speaker 1: when we don't huh yeah, but like when we work
Speaker 1: a lot or we don't feel good about ourselves, there's
Speaker 1: times where it's like, man, I it's not even you,
Speaker 1: it's just me, Like I don't feel good, Like I
Speaker 1: feel like I can't do what I want to do. Um,
Speaker 1: but I think one way that Ashley and I combat
Speaker 1: that because of course we have like it's exactly is
Speaker 1: that with like lingerie or exactly I like that, but
Speaker 1: but like light lingerie or you know, Ashley does a
Speaker 1: good job of like having incense in the room and like,
Speaker 1: you know, really you know, just like making it a
Speaker 1: mood and putting effort into it. And I know it's
Speaker 1: ridiculous because let's first of all, it's not ridiculous. I
Speaker 1: apologize for saying that because that's not what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's not ridiculous to put effort into having sex with
Speaker 1: one another. That doesn't mean you don't love your partner.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that you're not attracted to your partner.
Speaker 1: But like if you have sex with one person for
Speaker 1: years and years and years, of course, yeah, it's gonna
Speaker 1: get stale. It's gonna get the same. Like that's just
Speaker 1: what happens. There's nothing wrong with admitting that. Like, so
Speaker 1: many people go through this. I'd say the majority of
Speaker 1: couples go through this, and yet like if you talk
Speaker 1: about it, oh, something's wrong in your relationship. It's like no,
Speaker 1: nothing's wrong, Like it's just one of those things like
Speaker 1: you gotta change it up a little bit, you gotta
Speaker 1: do something different, And so that would be my advice.
Speaker 1: Don't be afraid to try something different. To talk about
Speaker 1: this with your partner, talk about something that you like
Speaker 1: in the bedroom, something that you want to try. Like,
Speaker 1: I know, it's weird. I've had these conversations. Actually it's
Speaker 1: less weird when you're in the moment and like you're
Speaker 1: all amped up and ready to go, because then you
Speaker 1: just say things and then you know, of course, after
Speaker 1: you know the moment goes away, then you're like, wow,
Speaker 1: I can't believe I said that. Um, yeah, that was
Speaker 1: that was really good advice. I'm in the same boat
Speaker 1: as you. I think for me personally, whenever I noticed
Speaker 1: my sex drive waning, it's always because IM not going
Speaker 1: to the gym enough. I have a really bad image
Speaker 1: of myself in my head, and I'm just like like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I feel fat and gross and so
Speaker 1: like I don't want to have my fat and gross
Speaker 1: body on Kalen's sexy and pretty body, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Like it really just step it steps For
Speaker 1: me personally, whenever we go through our like physical slumps,
Speaker 1: and I always try to make sure that Kalin knows
Speaker 1: that too. But at the end of the day, like
Speaker 1: if you're not doing anything to to make it better,
Speaker 1: like for for instance, like I can identify a problem,
Speaker 1: but I don't do anything to fix it, like that
Speaker 1: just kind of makes me seem like a piece of
Speaker 1: you know, so um. For me personally, it's like I
Speaker 1: gotta get back in the gym. I gotta start working out.
Speaker 1: And also that does boost like your testosterone levels and
Speaker 1: ups your sex drive a little bit. So that's always
Speaker 1: my advice for not only myself but for other people
Speaker 1: that are going through the same situation. And what really
Speaker 1: does suck is like nowadays, uh, I don't want to
Speaker 1: say like media, but like society does tend to glorify
Speaker 1: like a sexual relationship where you should be having sex
Speaker 1: with your partner every day of every week, and that
Speaker 1: just like it's unsustainable and probably impossible. Like I gotta
Speaker 1: say that there's no way I could do that once
Speaker 1: a day, like come on, and I'm talking to my
Speaker 1: friends about it too, Like I'll be I'll like go
Speaker 1: golf with my buddies and be like, oh yeah, we're
Speaker 1: you know, we're in a slump right now or whatever
Speaker 1: it is physically, and they'll be like, oh, dude, I
Speaker 1: couldn't imagine that. We're we can't get each other off
Speaker 1: each other. We've been together for four years. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I just don't believe you, and I don't want you to.
Speaker 1: I don't want to keep lying to me about it.
Speaker 1: So I think a lot of people experience a similar thing.
Speaker 1: And for me personally, it just as a matter of
Speaker 1: self image, I guess. But Eastern, what about you, because
Speaker 1: you gotta be you guys, gotta be like rabbits over there.
Speaker 1: I can imagine. No, I mean we're you know, we're
Speaker 1: married for five years. Uh yeah, that these things have
Speaker 1: been flow. Um My, my advice to Evan, I mean,
Speaker 1: like you guys said, I really think even if you
Speaker 1: can't like go to the gym or something, just going
Speaker 1: to walk around the block. I guarantee you will be
Speaker 1: horny after you go on that walk. I guarantee it.
Speaker 1: Just once get some sunshine in your face, get moving,
Speaker 1: especially everyone's working at home and sitting for twenty five
Speaker 1: hours a day. Uh, you just gotta get moving. I
Speaker 1: think that really helps. And um, yeah, I swear to God,
Speaker 1: after one block you'll be rock hard Evan, I guarantee it. Wow. Okay, Well, um,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say we should maybe call it an episode,
Speaker 1: but I might go for a walk around the block
Speaker 1: real quick back and answer a couple more emails, so
Speaker 1: that's good advice, and in the same bay and just
Speaker 1: get out, get active and get the juices flowing. Or
Speaker 1: if none of that works, maybe take like, oh, I
Speaker 1: just saw Doug flute commercial where he has his testosterone
Speaker 1: boosting product. It's Frank Thomas and Doug Flutie exactly the
Speaker 1: worst commercial ever made. Uh. But there's there's there's options
Speaker 1: out there to help if you want to be helped. Sometimes.
Speaker 1: I like, you know, if Kaitlin and I are in
Speaker 1: the ebbing stage, you know it's like okay to just
Speaker 1: take a break for a little bit and not have
Speaker 1: to worry about it, focus on your um like emotional
Speaker 1: connection rather than your physical connection. That's not a bad
Speaker 1: thing in my opinion. Um, But that's it for this
Speaker 1: week's episode. You guys, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: I hope you weren't bored to death by the things
Speaker 1: that we discussed. But how could you. Is there a
Speaker 1: ghost in your house? Did you hear that something big
Speaker 1: just fell in the house on your alone? So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna let you say goodbye. I'm gonna take it. I
Speaker 1: see little Alistair matt I Moody, so you're not alone.
Speaker 1: He'll protect you. I'm gonna um, I'm gonna go see
Speaker 1: what's going on. Can you just say goodbye everyone for me? Please? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Do you want to take your camera with you in
Speaker 1: case like something happens? We have video evidence of this. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for sucky dat as. You guys
Speaker 1: are the best. Please keep the emails coming, of course.
Speaker 1: We are I suck at Dating at ihart media dot com.
Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram. Help I suck at dating? Uh
Speaker 1: and tune in next week. We have a very special guest.
Speaker 1: We have the wonderful Dr le Beach coming in to
Speaker 1: visit us. Um and uh yeah sorry, this is the
Speaker 1: longest otter ever. Tune in next week. We're hopefully we
Speaker 1: all suck just a little less hollow. Help by suck
Speaker 1: at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to podcast