Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of our Heart Radio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effects. Oh Ship we wanna air Welcome
Speaker 1: back to you. Got another Carefully Reckless episode with just
Speaker 1: hilarious y'all, So we're gonna jump straight into it again.
Speaker 1: I am fixing mess and we have a voice recording
Speaker 1: since today this person wants to remain anonymous, so I
Speaker 1: will not give you her name. Hopefully they don't know
Speaker 1: your voice. Girl, All right, and here we go. I'll
Speaker 1: start with the love side. I started dating when I
Speaker 1: was seventeen years old, and I experienced my very first heartbreak,
Speaker 1: which was very intense, and you know, it took me
Speaker 1: a while to get over that, and then I started
Speaker 1: dating even more and more and more, and it was
Speaker 1: just heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak until maybe about like
Speaker 1: last year, because I finally got to the point to
Speaker 1: where I was like, I just don't care anymore, Like
Speaker 1: I just don't. I look back on the twelve years
Speaker 1: that I've been dating, and you know, I've been through
Speaker 1: a lot. I've had a lot of relationships, but they
Speaker 1: weren't healthy. I don't think I've ever had a healthy one.
Speaker 1: And at this point, I am twenty eight years old.
Speaker 1: I will be twenty nine and I currently stayed Phoenix, Arizona.
Speaker 1: The black Men pool out here is very limited and
Speaker 1: what we have to choose from out here isn't really ideal.
Speaker 1: But you know, due to where I am and what
Speaker 1: I've been through, I was like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: go do this anymore. I'm getting older, you know, I
Speaker 1: eventually want a husband, so I have to start cutting
Speaker 1: people off and setting boundaries. A few years ago, I
Speaker 1: lost an ex boyfriend to gun violence, and then about
Speaker 1: ten years prior to him, I lost my first love
Speaker 1: to murder. So they both died to murder, but the
Speaker 1: one that impacted me the most was my ex a
Speaker 1: few years ago. He died around the same time as
Speaker 1: Nipsey Hustle. He was like a huge Nipsey fan, and
Speaker 1: I remember me and him talking about Nipsey's death and
Speaker 1: he dies a few months later. So I've been in
Speaker 1: therapy for about three years now, and I spent like
Speaker 1: a whole year just completely on that situation, just trying
Speaker 1: to like heal from it and get through it. And
Speaker 1: I still grieve from that until today. It still hurts
Speaker 1: like yesterday. I don't know if I'll ever be over it.
Speaker 1: Me and him pretty much grew up together, so he
Speaker 1: was my best friend. He was not only a lover.
Speaker 1: I felt like my best friend got took away from me.
Speaker 1: He also had dreams like me. He wanted to be
Speaker 1: a rapper. I wanted to be a singer. So we
Speaker 1: were like Bonnie and Clyde, and we were gonna make
Speaker 1: it together. Whoever got first, I was gonna put the
Speaker 1: other person on. And he also was my biggest cheerleader,
Speaker 1: my biggest supporter, motivator. I was his favorite singer, he
Speaker 1: was my favorite rapper, and you know, we were just
Speaker 1: really a team. I never had a connection with anyone
Speaker 1: like him. It was like blood couldn't make us any closer.
Speaker 1: But it definitely wasn't a brother sister relationship. So it's
Speaker 1: like when he was in my life, I felt like
Speaker 1: I had my life had meeting. I wasn't board. We
Speaker 1: were running the town of Arizona, so many places remind
Speaker 1: me of him. I tried to stay away, but we
Speaker 1: did so much during our time together. We were dating
Speaker 1: on and off for two years, but I knew him
Speaker 1: since I was a child. So it's like, even with
Speaker 1: him being gone, I still have so much connected with him,
Speaker 1: so when he left, I felt like my other half
Speaker 1: was just took him and I'm still trying to adjust
Speaker 1: to my life without him, even though it's been three years.
Speaker 1: No one understands how close we were, Like I don't
Speaker 1: think I can explain that to anybody. It was just
Speaker 1: something between me and him. So, you know, growing up,
Speaker 1: I didn't really have my father in my life, which
Speaker 1: I feel like that explains why I was so fixated
Speaker 1: on the idea of love. My father was very in
Speaker 1: and out due to his drug habit, and I had
Speaker 1: a stepdad, but he was always there. Financially, we never
Speaker 1: really built upon so once I became an adult, I
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, I gotta figure this out by myself,
Speaker 1: which always led me to the wrong type of men,
Speaker 1: which always left you to get hurt. I just kind
Speaker 1: of got burned out with it. I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to date nobody, I don't want to talk to
Speaker 1: nobody like this. I'm like, I'm really okay with being
Speaker 1: single for the rest of my life. And I'm a
Speaker 1: relationship kind of girl. My sign is libra. You know, love, relationships, sex, fire, passion,
Speaker 1: all of that, so it's natural really in me. But
Speaker 1: it's just like, especially these days, is it's hard to
Speaker 1: find anyone that has all of those qualities husband like
Speaker 1: qualities and treats you right. And so I was just like,
Speaker 1: I'm really okay with just being alone, but I would
Speaker 1: love a healthy relationship. As I look back, I see
Speaker 1: how much I wanted to be loved that it blocked
Speaker 1: me from my dreams and stuff. I grew up always
Speaker 1: in talent shows. I was always singing in church. I
Speaker 1: was always leading the choirs at my school, always in
Speaker 1: performing arts, and I used to make my cousins be
Speaker 1: like my background singers to all the Beyonce and Sierra videos.
Speaker 1: I knew every dance move, I knew every lyric. I
Speaker 1: used to do dance battles against family members. Like that's
Speaker 1: really what my life was. And I just knew as
Speaker 1: an adult, you know, I knew I had to star power.
Speaker 1: I knew I had to talent. So I was just like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be the next big thing. But I
Speaker 1: started dating, and my love life consumed so many years
Speaker 1: of my adult life. It was like year after year
Speaker 1: after year, I was trying to make a relationship after
Speaker 1: relationship after relationship, work where I lost focus on me
Speaker 1: and my talent and who I was. And then I
Speaker 1: started college and I even dropped out due to our relationship.
Speaker 1: So fast forward, I'm like, what was I doing all
Speaker 1: of that time? Like I felt like I was living
Speaker 1: in a la la land. I was looking through rose
Speaker 1: colored lenses. I wasn't being very realistic on how these
Speaker 1: men were treating me and the situations I kept putting
Speaker 1: myself in. And then I fast forward to you know,
Speaker 1: me being twenty nine and this is my last semester
Speaker 1: of school. I graduate in December. School took up four
Speaker 1: years of my life for me, chasing my dreams and
Speaker 1: felt relationships. I'm at the age where I am now.
Speaker 1: It doesn't help social media because most of the people
Speaker 1: that have made it are in their twenties, and I'm
Speaker 1: pretty much done with mind and I'm like, who wants
Speaker 1: to listen to an old singer or an old actress
Speaker 1: or whatever? In my head, you know, I'm still working
Speaker 1: on the mental side of me feeling too old to
Speaker 1: do anything now. I have burnt out stages where it's
Speaker 1: like one minute I have the motivation to go to
Speaker 1: do it, to chase my dreams, chase my goals, And
Speaker 1: then on the other hand, I'm crying. I'm not happy
Speaker 1: with life. I'm crying. I'm this on that I even
Speaker 1: like cut off all of the toxic people in my life,
Speaker 1: and I prayed for the peace of God, in which
Speaker 1: I feel like He's given me that piece, but I
Speaker 1: have so much piece just on board with life, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like twiddling my thumbs because I'm like, now,
Speaker 1: what what do I do? Where do I go? I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm in hermit mode. I feel very isolated.
Speaker 1: I have times where I missed the toxic people lovers
Speaker 1: and friendships because I was like, at least I was
Speaker 1: always doing something. I had something to do every weekend.
Speaker 1: I was always going places. My life was very filled
Speaker 1: with like activities. They may have been toxic and it
Speaker 1: may have came with a lot of stress and drama
Speaker 1: and mess, but I always have something to do. Now
Speaker 1: that I only have my close friends and some family members,
Speaker 1: most of them have their own families and children, so
Speaker 1: they don't really have babysitters. So anytime I want to
Speaker 1: hang out and do stuff, I can't or it's really
Speaker 1: really hard. And I'm naturally a social person. I like
Speaker 1: to be at home, but after a while, I'm like
Speaker 1: ready to go out, ready to turn up, ready to function,
Speaker 1: ready to have fun, and everybody just wants to sit
Speaker 1: in the house and be introverts, or even if they don't,
Speaker 1: they have children, so it's hard for them. And I'm
Speaker 1: just like, I'm really just gonna have to start doing
Speaker 1: things by myself. I feel like a lot of that
Speaker 1: has held me up with me chasing my dreams. I
Speaker 1: was just very passionate young girl, and life just like
Speaker 1: took over me. And then it's like, now that I'm
Speaker 1: ready to do it, I feel too old. I really
Speaker 1: feel like I need to move to California because I
Speaker 1: feel like maybe that will open more doors and opportunities
Speaker 1: for me, maybe help me make connections because me being
Speaker 1: here in Arizona, no one from the industry is here.
Speaker 1: At least I don't know anybody. I'm from here, and
Speaker 1: I've been in the studio, I've worked on music, et cetera,
Speaker 1: and I have yet to meet anyone. I've had people
Speaker 1: tell me they can take me to the next level
Speaker 1: and have felt me every time. The last person we
Speaker 1: had from here was like Jordan's Sparks. So it's like
Speaker 1: I feel like, as long as I stay here, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna get far in the industry. And I know
Speaker 1: that there's social media, but I feel like where you
Speaker 1: live also plays a part. Unless you're already where you
Speaker 1: need to be at, then I feel like you can
Speaker 1: live anywhere. But like me trying to get there, I
Speaker 1: feel like I need to go to focus on acting,
Speaker 1: to focus on my cosmetic business, and to possibly dibble
Speaker 1: back into music, dancing, et cetera. Anything entrepreneurship. That's what
Speaker 1: I want to do, and I want to stay in
Speaker 1: that realm. And you know, if all else fails, I'll
Speaker 1: go back to school and just get a nursing degree
Speaker 1: if I'm not making the type of income that I want.
Speaker 1: At that point, I deal with a lot of guilt
Speaker 1: and shame because I don't know how someone was so
Speaker 1: much talent. I don't know how I got to this
Speaker 1: point in my life where it's like now it's clicking
Speaker 1: for me to focus on it, and now I feel
Speaker 1: just old, and so I don't know, like should I
Speaker 1: keep trying this. I don't know what to do. I'm
Speaker 1: looking for advice career wise, because, like I said, me
Speaker 1: being here, I don't know anyone and I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm doing everything by myself. The one person that supported
Speaker 1: me with my dreams is not here. The one person
Speaker 1: that I felt like I was gonna be with forever
Speaker 1: is not here. And I'm kind of mad at him
Speaker 1: for leaving me. Year. I felt like when he left,
Speaker 1: he took the meaning of life too with him. That's
Speaker 1: how much he brought to me. And now I'm trying
Speaker 1: to navigate it without him. Obviously, this is supposed to
Speaker 1: be how it is, but I'm trying to like go
Speaker 1: with it, and I'm trying to be happy with it,
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to figure out what next, and then
Speaker 1: as far as you know, my love life goes um,
Speaker 1: I literally cut off everyone. There is one person that
Speaker 1: I'm dealing with. I've known him for about six years
Speaker 1: and we lived together. He offered to help me financially
Speaker 1: while I'm in school, just to kind of, you know,
Speaker 1: help me out, give me a little break, so I
Speaker 1: don't have everything on me at once. But he does
Speaker 1: want to work on a relationship as well. We're not
Speaker 1: doing it the traditional way because we live with each
Speaker 1: other and we're getting to know each other while we
Speaker 1: live with each other. He has a lot of trust
Speaker 1: issues in trauma that he still needs to be healed from.
Speaker 1: So I was hesitant on it, but I was just like,
Speaker 1: you know what I need to help, So you know,
Speaker 1: he can just come and we can see what happens.
Speaker 1: But I'm currently in therapy and I'm still healing as well.
Speaker 1: He is twenty five years old. He's a retired marine.
Speaker 1: He makes over six figures with the type of job
Speaker 1: that he does now. He has no children. He's been
Speaker 1: married and divorce. He travels for work, so he's only
Speaker 1: home really on the weekends. He has a very old soul,
Speaker 1: so he's like at this point, he's not looking to
Speaker 1: really just mess around with a bunch of random females.
Speaker 1: He wants to be married. He wants to settle down
Speaker 1: to the point where me and him don't even have
Speaker 1: sex like that, because he feels like sex makes things
Speaker 1: complicated and he wants to do things right this time
Speaker 1: and not lead with it. Plus, he told me he
Speaker 1: feels like it's a power tactic as well, because he
Speaker 1: lives with me. He doesn't want me to kick him
Speaker 1: out or anything, because he's just given me so much
Speaker 1: amazing sex that I tell him to go, like he
Speaker 1: doesn't want to go crazy, and I'm like, don't you
Speaker 1: think it would be the opposite effect. But due to
Speaker 1: his past, because he's a very accomplished man, he had
Speaker 1: a lot of women use him in the past, and
Speaker 1: I think he's fearing of that. He's like, if I leave,
Speaker 1: we can have all the sex you want. But he's like,
Speaker 1: I think, while I'm here, I don't think we should.
Speaker 1: I want to just practice celibacy. He even mentioned marriage counseling,
Speaker 1: doing therapy together, and I told him myself, well, if
Speaker 1: a person wants to marry me, therapy is a requirement
Speaker 1: that I have for my partner before we get married.
Speaker 1: He really has a lot of husband like qualities where
Speaker 1: I can see him in that way, but it's just
Speaker 1: that trauma that he's still not healed from. And honestly,
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't I shouldn't even be in
Speaker 1: a relationship. I feel like we shouldn't even be doing this.
Speaker 1: This is not the ideal way to get to know somebody.
Speaker 1: But I need the money right now. Just be honest.
Speaker 1: My lease is up in January, age, so he's he's
Speaker 1: probably gonna leave around that time, and I guess that's
Speaker 1: what we're gonna have a discussion of whether we're going
Speaker 1: to continue relationship or go our separate ways. But I
Speaker 1: do feel like if we actually continue our relationship or
Speaker 1: being one, sex has to come into play. Because I've
Speaker 1: been patient, I will continue to be patient. But if
Speaker 1: we decide to move forward, I need to be having sex,
Speaker 1: and honestly, just he's like the last person that I'm
Speaker 1: choosing to deal with. If it doesn't work out with
Speaker 1: me and him, I will be okay being by myself
Speaker 1: because the way that the men are these days and
Speaker 1: how things are going, it's very hard to meet someone
Speaker 1: with all of those qualities. And I'm gonna leave it
Speaker 1: up to God. It's really gonna take God to just
Speaker 1: bring me my husband, because I'm not gonna go out
Speaker 1: and find him, and I'm not gonna try anymore. It's
Speaker 1: gonna just have to literally fall in my lap if
Speaker 1: that's possible. That's how tired and drained I am from
Speaker 1: all of the pain and stuff that I've been through
Speaker 1: from trying to always make these relationships work. So right now,
Speaker 1: I don't know where to go with my relationships, and
Speaker 1: I don't know where to go with my career, and
Speaker 1: I just need your help to give me a different perspective. Now,
Speaker 1: we got a commercial, and if you click off this podcast,
Speaker 1: I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen, okay, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am.
Speaker 1: Can I talk now? All right? So that was a lot.
Speaker 1: Let's start from the beginning. You mentioned that you had
Speaker 1: lost too love of your lives to gun violence, and
Speaker 1: I want to tell you something without you getting upset
Speaker 1: with me either way. I don't care if you get
Speaker 1: upset or now. This is just what you need to hear.
Speaker 1: You spoke on two of your ex is being taken
Speaker 1: away from you. It could be the type of guys
Speaker 1: that you were dating. You were dating guys that are
Speaker 1: in the streets. I understand. Um, that's what I'm connecting
Speaker 1: what I gather from the story. It seems like they
Speaker 1: were in the streets. Like you said, it's very limited
Speaker 1: pool of black men in Phoenix, Arizona. I travel there.
Speaker 1: I do shows there, so I do know that, and
Speaker 1: my shows there are not a lot of black men.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of Hispanics. There's a lot of you know,
Speaker 1: other races, but we do have some black people that
Speaker 1: do come. I do understand However, you still attract a
Speaker 1: certain guy well used to, I would say. And when
Speaker 1: I say of the streets, I mean that they are
Speaker 1: living their lives dangerously in the streets. Now correct me
Speaker 1: if I'm wrong. Come back and correct me if I
Speaker 1: am wrong. But you lost both of them very violently. Now,
Speaker 1: it could just be too coincidental deaths where the bullets
Speaker 1: weren't for them, or they weren't doing anything to result
Speaker 1: in losing their lives this particular way. If I am wrong,
Speaker 1: please correct me. But that's what it sounds like, that
Speaker 1: you attract a certain type of guy, and you are
Speaker 1: attracted to a certain type of guy um by choice.
Speaker 1: You cannot control who you love, but you can't control yourself.
Speaker 1: You have to be able to get self control. And
Speaker 1: that leads me into the career part. You have answered
Speaker 1: your questions so many times just telling me your story.
Speaker 1: I don't know how I ended up like this. I'm
Speaker 1: very intelligent, i am very talented, I'm gifted. I'm a
Speaker 1: very smart girl. You sound all of those things you sell.
Speaker 1: You you're well articulated, you pronounce every every syllable and
Speaker 1: everywhere A girl. I'm like, damn, is this girl a
Speaker 1: literature teacher like you. You you sound very intelligent, you
Speaker 1: sound very ambitious, and that you you could be further,
Speaker 1: way further right now in life and your career then
Speaker 1: you are. Now, hadn't you let yourself be so consumed
Speaker 1: with your love life? Now you're still not old at all.
Speaker 1: You're not even thirty, as you said, you're just about
Speaker 1: finishing your twenties, so you're not even out of your
Speaker 1: twenties yet. Listen, you've dated. That's what you gotta do
Speaker 1: to realize what's good for you and what's not. That's
Speaker 1: what you gotta do to learn yourself. That's what you
Speaker 1: have to do to learn what you don't want, what
Speaker 1: you can't stand, what you won't take, your disadvantages, your advantages,
Speaker 1: like all of that. That's what people do to find
Speaker 1: the right one they date. Okay, there's no rule book
Speaker 1: to the ship, so don't kick yourself and ask too
Speaker 1: much on that note. But when it comes to your life,
Speaker 1: you know, because you just told me, you've spent so
Speaker 1: much time trying to make this work with this man
Speaker 1: and this man and that man and that man, and
Speaker 1: it hasn't worked. That you lost yourself. This is something
Speaker 1: that I see every day. This is something that I've
Speaker 1: even almost done for too long in my life. Then
Speaker 1: I got ahold of myself. You still can get ahold
Speaker 1: of yourself now. Look, you have a dream to be
Speaker 1: a famous singer. Even if that does not work, it's
Speaker 1: not because oh you're just in your your late twenties
Speaker 1: now and girl, listen, it does not matter. Always used
Speaker 1: to chains two chains didn't blow until he was what
Speaker 1: what forty? Come on now, nobody care. It ain't about
Speaker 1: your age. This is not the old, old, long time
Speaker 1: agose days. No it's not. You can still sing, yes
Speaker 1: you can. You can still be a singer. It is possible. Look,
Speaker 1: I don't hold the keys to making people famous, No
Speaker 1: I don't. But what I do know is that you
Speaker 1: can still be a singer. You can still do what
Speaker 1: you want to do, and you can prosper from that.
Speaker 1: You can build. If you have a dream, you fucking
Speaker 1: follow it. That's all. You just got caught up in love.
Speaker 1: I don't really need to give you much advice on
Speaker 1: your career because you know what held you back now
Speaker 1: as far as cutting off your toxic relationship, friendships and
Speaker 1: all of that type of stuff. I understand that too.
Speaker 1: You say that you're bored. You're so bored that you
Speaker 1: missed the toxic relationships and you just want something to do.
Speaker 1: And everybody that you cut off sometimes you miss them
Speaker 1: because now you're cutting everybody off that was toxic in
Speaker 1: your life, whether it be man, woman, friendship, relationship. You're
Speaker 1: so bored, you're willing to even put up with the
Speaker 1: toxicity because you just want something to do. Sweetie, do
Speaker 1: you realize what you're saying. You aren't treading life like
Speaker 1: it's like a like a little game like that's rather childish.
Speaker 1: On that particular part, that was the only part I
Speaker 1: felt like I was talking to a child. I was
Speaker 1: listening to a child. You're grown, you have no kids,
Speaker 1: You have no obligations to anyone. You still have a
Speaker 1: life full of opportunity and possibilities that you can like
Speaker 1: it's limitless for you. You're not tied down. You're very smart. Girl.
Speaker 1: Go get a goddamn job. Go get your ass a job.
Speaker 1: You can be a dental assistant, you can go be
Speaker 1: somebody's receptionists, you can go fucking like, ma'am, yes you're
Speaker 1: in school, yes you but you're you're even living with
Speaker 1: somebody that you don't even want to be with it,
Speaker 1: just for convenience and for financial reasons. You're living your
Speaker 1: life like a college kid hanging on by a thread.
Speaker 1: You even told me you dropped out of school for love. Look,
Speaker 1: you need to stop dating for a long time, even
Speaker 1: with this man you're living with. No no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. You don't even sound excited talking about them.
Speaker 1: You're not attracted to them, obviously. You just want some
Speaker 1: dick from time to time, and you want to be
Speaker 1: able to have money, and you want to be a singer.
Speaker 1: But what it sounds like is that you've never really
Speaker 1: put any hard work into yourself. And I'm putting it
Speaker 1: more specifically that way because I don't even think that
Speaker 1: you see it that way. You're blaming it all on
Speaker 1: love because you even said it. I mean, if it
Speaker 1: falls in my lap, okay, great. You can't expect anything
Speaker 1: to fall in your lap, not a man, not a job,
Speaker 1: not a singing career, nothing. Everything that people have really
Speaker 1: successful people, they worked for it, unless it was passed
Speaker 1: on down. They don't seem like your parents gonna give
Speaker 1: you jack, honey. So you need to pull yourself up.
Speaker 1: Don't focus on a man. And what a man can
Speaker 1: do for you, not even the one that lives with you.
Speaker 1: Don't focus on him. What you need to do is
Speaker 1: you need to release him from your house. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say put him out abruptly or whatever, because that's rude,
Speaker 1: But you need to release that man from your house.
Speaker 1: You're using him, you're using him. Okay, that ain't gonna
Speaker 1: go nowhere. He's not attracted to you. You ain't attracted Sam,
Speaker 1: You're way too okay with this way of living right now.
Speaker 1: And in Phoenix, Arizona ain't nowhere for nobody to blow up.
Speaker 1: I'm telling I'm telling you, you got the answer. Take
Speaker 1: your ass to l A, get a job, and make
Speaker 1: you a social platform. Start doing covers. That's how Lama
Speaker 1: made it. That's how a lot of a lot of
Speaker 1: stars made it. Queen Nijah, Jack, Queens, a lot of
Speaker 1: these celebrities made it by doing covers and they were
Speaker 1: recognized on big platforms like YouTube. Make a YouTube channel.
Speaker 1: Pretty soon, I'm about to drop a seminar for entrepreneurs
Speaker 1: who want to make money using their platform. Again, that's
Speaker 1: not the ticket to famous, that's not the ticket to
Speaker 1: start them. That's the ticket to some goddamn money, because
Speaker 1: what what do we need now these days? With this
Speaker 1: economy and this this market that we're in and everything,
Speaker 1: we need money more than we need some goddamn fame. Okay,
Speaker 1: back then, everybody wanted to be famous. How about now?
Speaker 1: I bet if you ask everybody that wanted to be
Speaker 1: famous years and years ago what they want now? What
Speaker 1: they would take now? Famous over money? Oh, it would
Speaker 1: be money. It would be money. Famous is not even
Speaker 1: the same famous it was when I was growing up. Okay,
Speaker 1: sometimes I don't even want to be famous. Sometimes I don't.
Speaker 1: But I'm already here, and now look what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: I'm helping people like you. I need for you to
Speaker 1: pull yourself the funk up. You need to put that
Speaker 1: man at your house. You need to start looking for
Speaker 1: a new place to live. Phoenix ain't gonna do it
Speaker 1: for you. You didn't already wore Phoenix out, honey, looking
Speaker 1: up and down Phoenix streets for some goddamn love. Girl,
Speaker 1: Look for a job, Get your life together. What's your
Speaker 1: smart self? What is wrong with you? What's wrong with you?
Speaker 1: I often ask women that especially the women that right me,
Speaker 1: what is wrong with you? Because obviously there is something
Speaker 1: wrong with you. Woman? Put that man out, and you
Speaker 1: sitting here telling me that you just moved them in
Speaker 1: for the money. But then on another hand, you say,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna leave it to God. I'm just gonna no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it don't work like that. I want I want these
Speaker 1: people that I want y'all to understand that y'all cannot
Speaker 1: use God when it's convenient for you. You can't do
Speaker 1: that because what you're doing right now is not good.
Speaker 1: What you've done up to this moment. It's put yourself
Speaker 1: last and every other man first. That's still what you're
Speaker 1: doing right now. That's your place. Learn to depend on
Speaker 1: the woman you are, learned to depend on your stability.
Speaker 1: Learn to get some goddamn dignity. You see right now,
Speaker 1: where all this love and all this convenience and all
Speaker 1: this putting everybody else puts you, It puts you last, Literally,
Speaker 1: it puts your last. You're the last person on your
Speaker 1: priority list. L A would be a good move. Vegas
Speaker 1: would be a good move, Atlanta would be a good move.
Speaker 1: Miami would be a good move. If you need money
Speaker 1: to move, that means you need to get a job.
Speaker 1: While you and Phoenix saved up because you have no kids.
Speaker 1: You don't have no kids, you don't have no miles
Speaker 1: to feed but your own. And don't give me no bullshit.
Speaker 1: I don't want a regular job, Oh well baby, look
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to get one. But the way you speak,
Speaker 1: a girl, you can get any almost almost any goddamn
Speaker 1: job you want. I ain't trying to hear that ship
Speaker 1: check back in with me because let them piss me off.
Speaker 1: And then another thing I want to say before I go.
Speaker 1: You're talking to me about how this retired ex military
Speaker 1: man who was once married before now divorce, makes six figures,
Speaker 1: no kids and all that, why the hell he ain't
Speaker 1: got his own place? Why the hell? And how the
Speaker 1: hell is he living in your house? And he's dictating
Speaker 1: rules like I don't want to have sex because I
Speaker 1: don't want that to give you power to put me out? Well,
Speaker 1: is the sex good or is it gonna be? Phone?
Speaker 1: Why would I put you out? Shure? What's what's what's
Speaker 1: going on there? Don't give me no bullshit about this
Speaker 1: man because you ain't telling me something. Because if he's
Speaker 1: a six figure making retired ex military once before murray
Speaker 1: nailed divorce, no man that that's a come up to
Speaker 1: me and all he gotta do left is to be handsome.
Speaker 1: Oh baby girl, don't play with your damn self. It's
Speaker 1: the reason why you don't want his ass. It's the reason,
Speaker 1: and it's something that you ain't telling me, why he
Speaker 1: can't live by himself, why six figure my ass? Don't
Speaker 1: feed me that, but check back in with me, and
Speaker 1: just like that, we've come to the end of another
Speaker 1: just fixed my Mess Carefully Reckless episode with your Girl
Speaker 1: just hilarious. Y'all. Make sure you'll tune into Reckless discussions tonight.
Speaker 1: It will premiere at seven pm. Every Wednesday at seven pm,
Speaker 1: and Carefully Reckless every Wednesday at seven am. Tune in peace.
Speaker 1: Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and
Speaker 1: The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,
Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.