1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,120 Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of our Heart Radio 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: and the Black Effects. Oh Ship we wanna air Welcome 3 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:20,279 Speaker 1: back to you. Got another Carefully Reckless episode with just 4 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 1: hilarious y'all, So we're gonna jump straight into it again. 5 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: I am fixing mess and we have a voice recording 6 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:30,040 Speaker 1: since today this person wants to remain anonymous, so I 7 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: will not give you her name. Hopefully they don't know 8 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 1: your voice. Girl, All right, and here we go. I'll 9 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: start with the love side. I started dating when I 10 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 1: was seventeen years old, and I experienced my very first heartbreak, 11 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:50,559 Speaker 1: which was very intense, and you know, it took me 12 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: a while to get over that, and then I started 13 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 1: dating even more and more and more, and it was 14 00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: just heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak until maybe about like 15 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 1: last year, because I finally got to the point to 16 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 1: where I was like, I just don't care anymore, Like 17 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 1: I just don't. I look back on the twelve years 18 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 1: that I've been dating, and you know, I've been through 19 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,840 Speaker 1: a lot. I've had a lot of relationships, but they 20 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 1: weren't healthy. I don't think I've ever had a healthy one. 21 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:24,400 Speaker 1: And at this point, I am twenty eight years old. 22 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: I will be twenty nine and I currently stayed Phoenix, Arizona. 23 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:31,959 Speaker 1: The black Men pool out here is very limited and 24 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:36,319 Speaker 1: what we have to choose from out here isn't really ideal. 25 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,840 Speaker 1: But you know, due to where I am and what 26 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: I've been through, I was like, I don't want to 27 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: go do this anymore. I'm getting older, you know, I 28 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 1: eventually want a husband, so I have to start cutting 29 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: people off and setting boundaries. A few years ago, I 30 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 1: lost an ex boyfriend to gun violence, and then about 31 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 1: ten years prior to him, I lost my first love 32 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 1: to murder. So they both died to murder, but the 33 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 1: one that impacted me the most was my ex a 34 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,800 Speaker 1: few years ago. He died around the same time as 35 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:14,640 Speaker 1: Nipsey Hustle. He was like a huge Nipsey fan, and 36 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: I remember me and him talking about Nipsey's death and 37 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 1: he dies a few months later. So I've been in 38 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 1: therapy for about three years now, and I spent like 39 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 1: a whole year just completely on that situation, just trying 40 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 1: to like heal from it and get through it. And 41 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: I still grieve from that until today. It still hurts 42 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 1: like yesterday. I don't know if I'll ever be over it. 43 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 1: Me and him pretty much grew up together, so he 44 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 1: was my best friend. He was not only a lover. 45 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: I felt like my best friend got took away from me. 46 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: He also had dreams like me. He wanted to be 47 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 1: a rapper. I wanted to be a singer. So we 48 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,639 Speaker 1: were like Bonnie and Clyde, and we were gonna make 49 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:01,640 Speaker 1: it together. Whoever got first, I was gonna put the 50 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,399 Speaker 1: other person on. And he also was my biggest cheerleader, 51 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:07,640 Speaker 1: my biggest supporter, motivator. I was his favorite singer, he 52 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 1: was my favorite rapper, and you know, we were just 53 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: really a team. I never had a connection with anyone 54 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,919 Speaker 1: like him. It was like blood couldn't make us any closer. 55 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 1: But it definitely wasn't a brother sister relationship. So it's 56 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,639 Speaker 1: like when he was in my life, I felt like 57 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,639 Speaker 1: I had my life had meeting. I wasn't board. We 58 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 1: were running the town of Arizona, so many places remind 59 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 1: me of him. I tried to stay away, but we 60 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: did so much during our time together. We were dating 61 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 1: on and off for two years, but I knew him 62 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 1: since I was a child. So it's like, even with 63 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: him being gone, I still have so much connected with him, 64 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: so when he left, I felt like my other half 65 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 1: was just took him and I'm still trying to adjust 66 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 1: to my life without him, even though it's been three years. 67 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: No one understands how close we were, Like I don't 68 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: think I can explain that to anybody. It was just 69 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:11,840 Speaker 1: something between me and him. So, you know, growing up, 70 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: I didn't really have my father in my life, which 71 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: I feel like that explains why I was so fixated 72 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 1: on the idea of love. My father was very in 73 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,840 Speaker 1: and out due to his drug habit, and I had 74 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 1: a stepdad, but he was always there. Financially, we never 75 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 1: really built upon so once I became an adult, I 76 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,040 Speaker 1: was like, Okay, I gotta figure this out by myself, 77 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 1: which always led me to the wrong type of men, 78 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,760 Speaker 1: which always left you to get hurt. I just kind 79 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 1: of got burned out with it. I'm like, I don't 80 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 1: want to date nobody, I don't want to talk to 81 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,360 Speaker 1: nobody like this. I'm like, I'm really okay with being 82 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 1: single for the rest of my life. And I'm a 83 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 1: relationship kind of girl. My sign is libra. You know, love, relationships, sex, fire, passion, 84 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 1: all of that, so it's natural really in me. But 85 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,360 Speaker 1: it's just like, especially these days, is it's hard to 86 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: find anyone that has all of those qualities husband like 87 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,280 Speaker 1: qualities and treats you right. And so I was just like, 88 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: I'm really okay with just being alone, but I would 89 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:21,679 Speaker 1: love a healthy relationship. As I look back, I see 90 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 1: how much I wanted to be loved that it blocked 91 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:31,680 Speaker 1: me from my dreams and stuff. I grew up always 92 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 1: in talent shows. I was always singing in church. I 93 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 1: was always leading the choirs at my school, always in 94 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 1: performing arts, and I used to make my cousins be 95 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: like my background singers to all the Beyonce and Sierra videos. 96 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: I knew every dance move, I knew every lyric. I 97 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:53,679 Speaker 1: used to do dance battles against family members. Like that's 98 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,160 Speaker 1: really what my life was. And I just knew as 99 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,599 Speaker 1: an adult, you know, I knew I had to star power. 100 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 1: I knew I had to talent. So I was just like, 101 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 1: I'm going to be the next big thing. But I 102 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 1: started dating, and my love life consumed so many years 103 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,040 Speaker 1: of my adult life. It was like year after year 104 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,280 Speaker 1: after year, I was trying to make a relationship after 105 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 1: relationship after relationship, work where I lost focus on me 106 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,840 Speaker 1: and my talent and who I was. And then I 107 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 1: started college and I even dropped out due to our relationship. 108 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:29,159 Speaker 1: So fast forward, I'm like, what was I doing all 109 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: of that time? Like I felt like I was living 110 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 1: in a la la land. I was looking through rose 111 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:38,040 Speaker 1: colored lenses. I wasn't being very realistic on how these 112 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 1: men were treating me and the situations I kept putting 113 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:45,280 Speaker 1: myself in. And then I fast forward to you know, 114 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 1: me being twenty nine and this is my last semester 115 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: of school. I graduate in December. School took up four 116 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 1: years of my life for me, chasing my dreams and 117 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 1: felt relationships. I'm at the age where I am now. 118 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: It doesn't help social media because most of the people 119 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: that have made it are in their twenties, and I'm 120 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 1: pretty much done with mind and I'm like, who wants 121 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,400 Speaker 1: to listen to an old singer or an old actress 122 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:14,680 Speaker 1: or whatever? In my head, you know, I'm still working 123 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 1: on the mental side of me feeling too old to 124 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 1: do anything now. I have burnt out stages where it's 125 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 1: like one minute I have the motivation to go to 126 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 1: do it, to chase my dreams, chase my goals, And 127 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 1: then on the other hand, I'm crying. I'm not happy 128 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 1: with life. I'm crying. I'm this on that I even 129 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: like cut off all of the toxic people in my life, 130 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: and I prayed for the peace of God, in which 131 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 1: I feel like He's given me that piece, but I 132 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 1: have so much piece just on board with life, and 133 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 1: I'm just like twiddling my thumbs because I'm like, now, 134 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 1: what what do I do? Where do I go? I 135 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 1: feel like I'm in hermit mode. I feel very isolated. 136 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 1: I have times where I missed the toxic people lovers 137 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 1: and friendships because I was like, at least I was 138 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: always doing something. I had something to do every weekend. 139 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,440 Speaker 1: I was always going places. My life was very filled 140 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 1: with like activities. They may have been toxic and it 141 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: may have came with a lot of stress and drama 142 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 1: and mess, but I always have something to do. Now 143 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,920 Speaker 1: that I only have my close friends and some family members, 144 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,760 Speaker 1: most of them have their own families and children, so 145 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 1: they don't really have babysitters. So anytime I want to 146 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 1: hang out and do stuff, I can't or it's really 147 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: really hard. And I'm naturally a social person. I like 148 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: to be at home, but after a while, I'm like 149 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:40,440 Speaker 1: ready to go out, ready to turn up, ready to function, 150 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 1: ready to have fun, and everybody just wants to sit 151 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 1: in the house and be introverts, or even if they don't, 152 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,800 Speaker 1: they have children, so it's hard for them. And I'm 153 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 1: just like, I'm really just gonna have to start doing 154 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:54,319 Speaker 1: things by myself. I feel like a lot of that 155 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,080 Speaker 1: has held me up with me chasing my dreams. I 156 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:01,320 Speaker 1: was just very passionate young girl, and life just like 157 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 1: took over me. And then it's like, now that I'm 158 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,679 Speaker 1: ready to do it, I feel too old. I really 159 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,080 Speaker 1: feel like I need to move to California because I 160 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:13,280 Speaker 1: feel like maybe that will open more doors and opportunities 161 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 1: for me, maybe help me make connections because me being 162 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:20,200 Speaker 1: here in Arizona, no one from the industry is here. 163 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,839 Speaker 1: At least I don't know anybody. I'm from here, and 164 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 1: I've been in the studio, I've worked on music, et cetera, 165 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 1: and I have yet to meet anyone. I've had people 166 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 1: tell me they can take me to the next level 167 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 1: and have felt me every time. The last person we 168 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 1: had from here was like Jordan's Sparks. So it's like 169 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,840 Speaker 1: I feel like, as long as I stay here, I'm 170 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 1: not gonna get far in the industry. And I know 171 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,240 Speaker 1: that there's social media, but I feel like where you 172 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:49,800 Speaker 1: live also plays a part. Unless you're already where you 173 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 1: need to be at, then I feel like you can 174 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 1: live anywhere. But like me trying to get there, I 175 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 1: feel like I need to go to focus on acting, 176 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:02,880 Speaker 1: to focus on my cosmetic business, and to possibly dibble 177 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:08,440 Speaker 1: back into music, dancing, et cetera. Anything entrepreneurship. That's what 178 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:09,960 Speaker 1: I want to do, and I want to stay in 179 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:13,560 Speaker 1: that realm. And you know, if all else fails, I'll 180 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: go back to school and just get a nursing degree 181 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,080 Speaker 1: if I'm not making the type of income that I want. 182 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 1: At that point, I deal with a lot of guilt 183 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: and shame because I don't know how someone was so 184 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,439 Speaker 1: much talent. I don't know how I got to this 185 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 1: point in my life where it's like now it's clicking 186 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,839 Speaker 1: for me to focus on it, and now I feel 187 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: just old, and so I don't know, like should I 188 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 1: keep trying this. I don't know what to do. I'm 189 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: looking for advice career wise, because, like I said, me 190 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:47,640 Speaker 1: being here, I don't know anyone and I feel like 191 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:51,640 Speaker 1: I'm doing everything by myself. The one person that supported 192 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 1: me with my dreams is not here. The one person 193 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,640 Speaker 1: that I felt like I was gonna be with forever 194 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 1: is not here. And I'm kind of mad at him 195 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: for leaving me. Year. I felt like when he left, 196 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,640 Speaker 1: he took the meaning of life too with him. That's 197 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 1: how much he brought to me. And now I'm trying 198 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:11,200 Speaker 1: to navigate it without him. Obviously, this is supposed to 199 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: be how it is, but I'm trying to like go 200 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 1: with it, and I'm trying to be happy with it, 201 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 1: and I'm trying to figure out what next, and then 202 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 1: as far as you know, my love life goes um, 203 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 1: I literally cut off everyone. There is one person that 204 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:28,320 Speaker 1: I'm dealing with. I've known him for about six years 205 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,720 Speaker 1: and we lived together. He offered to help me financially 206 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,560 Speaker 1: while I'm in school, just to kind of, you know, 207 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 1: help me out, give me a little break, so I 208 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 1: don't have everything on me at once. But he does 209 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 1: want to work on a relationship as well. We're not 210 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,079 Speaker 1: doing it the traditional way because we live with each 211 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 1: other and we're getting to know each other while we 212 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:51,040 Speaker 1: live with each other. He has a lot of trust 213 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 1: issues in trauma that he still needs to be healed from. 214 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:58,719 Speaker 1: So I was hesitant on it, but I was just like, 215 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 1: you know what I need to help, So you know, 216 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,840 Speaker 1: he can just come and we can see what happens. 217 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 1: But I'm currently in therapy and I'm still healing as well. 218 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:12,800 Speaker 1: He is twenty five years old. He's a retired marine. 219 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 1: He makes over six figures with the type of job 220 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,959 Speaker 1: that he does now. He has no children. He's been 221 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:24,000 Speaker 1: married and divorce. He travels for work, so he's only 222 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 1: home really on the weekends. He has a very old soul, 223 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,120 Speaker 1: so he's like at this point, he's not looking to 224 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 1: really just mess around with a bunch of random females. 225 00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: He wants to be married. He wants to settle down 226 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 1: to the point where me and him don't even have 227 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:41,160 Speaker 1: sex like that, because he feels like sex makes things 228 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 1: complicated and he wants to do things right this time 229 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: and not lead with it. Plus, he told me he 230 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,720 Speaker 1: feels like it's a power tactic as well, because he 231 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,080 Speaker 1: lives with me. He doesn't want me to kick him 232 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: out or anything, because he's just given me so much 233 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 1: amazing sex that I tell him to go, like he 234 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,440 Speaker 1: doesn't want to go crazy, and I'm like, don't you 235 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,720 Speaker 1: think it would be the opposite effect. But due to 236 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 1: his past, because he's a very accomplished man, he had 237 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,560 Speaker 1: a lot of women use him in the past, and 238 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,079 Speaker 1: I think he's fearing of that. He's like, if I leave, 239 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,440 Speaker 1: we can have all the sex you want. But he's like, 240 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 1: I think, while I'm here, I don't think we should. 241 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 1: I want to just practice celibacy. He even mentioned marriage counseling, 242 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:28,080 Speaker 1: doing therapy together, and I told him myself, well, if 243 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,320 Speaker 1: a person wants to marry me, therapy is a requirement 244 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:36,320 Speaker 1: that I have for my partner before we get married. 245 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:41,440 Speaker 1: He really has a lot of husband like qualities where 246 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,080 Speaker 1: I can see him in that way, but it's just 247 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 1: that trauma that he's still not healed from. And honestly, 248 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 1: I feel like I don't I shouldn't even be in 249 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 1: a relationship. I feel like we shouldn't even be doing this. 250 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 1: This is not the ideal way to get to know somebody. 251 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,480 Speaker 1: But I need the money right now. Just be honest. 252 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,959 Speaker 1: My lease is up in January, age, so he's he's 253 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 1: probably gonna leave around that time, and I guess that's 254 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 1: what we're gonna have a discussion of whether we're going 255 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,600 Speaker 1: to continue relationship or go our separate ways. But I 256 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,920 Speaker 1: do feel like if we actually continue our relationship or 257 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:16,000 Speaker 1: being one, sex has to come into play. Because I've 258 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: been patient, I will continue to be patient. But if 259 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,680 Speaker 1: we decide to move forward, I need to be having sex, 260 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,080 Speaker 1: and honestly, just he's like the last person that I'm 261 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 1: choosing to deal with. If it doesn't work out with 262 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 1: me and him, I will be okay being by myself 263 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,120 Speaker 1: because the way that the men are these days and 264 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 1: how things are going, it's very hard to meet someone 265 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,320 Speaker 1: with all of those qualities. And I'm gonna leave it 266 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 1: up to God. It's really gonna take God to just 267 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 1: bring me my husband, because I'm not gonna go out 268 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 1: and find him, and I'm not gonna try anymore. It's 269 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 1: gonna just have to literally fall in my lap if 270 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 1: that's possible. That's how tired and drained I am from 271 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 1: all of the pain and stuff that I've been through 272 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:03,720 Speaker 1: from trying to always make these relationships work. So right now, 273 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,760 Speaker 1: I don't know where to go with my relationships, and 274 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,520 Speaker 1: I don't know where to go with my career, and 275 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 1: I just need your help to give me a different perspective. Now, 276 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,040 Speaker 1: we got a commercial, and if you click off this podcast, 277 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 1: I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen, okay, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am. 278 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,520 Speaker 1: Can I talk now? All right? So that was a lot. 279 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 1: Let's start from the beginning. You mentioned that you had 280 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 1: lost too love of your lives to gun violence, and 281 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: I want to tell you something without you getting upset 282 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,520 Speaker 1: with me either way. I don't care if you get 283 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,440 Speaker 1: upset or now. This is just what you need to hear. 284 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 1: You spoke on two of your ex is being taken 285 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,680 Speaker 1: away from you. It could be the type of guys 286 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 1: that you were dating. You were dating guys that are 287 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:53,080 Speaker 1: in the streets. I understand. Um, that's what I'm connecting 288 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:57,400 Speaker 1: what I gather from the story. It seems like they 289 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,840 Speaker 1: were in the streets. Like you said, it's very limited 290 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,720 Speaker 1: pool of black men in Phoenix, Arizona. I travel there. 291 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: I do shows there, so I do know that, and 292 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:07,840 Speaker 1: my shows there are not a lot of black men. 293 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,880 Speaker 1: It's a lot of Hispanics. There's a lot of you know, 294 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 1: other races, but we do have some black people that 295 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: do come. I do understand However, you still attract a 296 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 1: certain guy well used to, I would say. And when 297 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 1: I say of the streets, I mean that they are 298 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:27,120 Speaker 1: living their lives dangerously in the streets. Now correct me 299 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,080 Speaker 1: if I'm wrong. Come back and correct me if I 300 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 1: am wrong. But you lost both of them very violently. Now, 301 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 1: it could just be too coincidental deaths where the bullets 302 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,800 Speaker 1: weren't for them, or they weren't doing anything to result 303 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 1: in losing their lives this particular way. If I am wrong, 304 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 1: please correct me. But that's what it sounds like, that 305 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,600 Speaker 1: you attract a certain type of guy, and you are 306 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,320 Speaker 1: attracted to a certain type of guy um by choice. 307 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 1: You cannot control who you love, but you can't control yourself. 308 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 1: You have to be able to get self control. And 309 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:02,000 Speaker 1: that leads me into the career part. You have answered 310 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,359 Speaker 1: your questions so many times just telling me your story. 311 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,640 Speaker 1: I don't know how I ended up like this. I'm 312 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 1: very intelligent, i am very talented, I'm gifted. I'm a 313 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,560 Speaker 1: very smart girl. You sound all of those things you sell. 314 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 1: You you're well articulated, you pronounce every every syllable and 315 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,879 Speaker 1: everywhere A girl. I'm like, damn, is this girl a 316 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:24,320 Speaker 1: literature teacher like you. You you sound very intelligent, you 317 00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:27,560 Speaker 1: sound very ambitious, and that you you could be further, 318 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:32,000 Speaker 1: way further right now in life and your career then 319 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:36,720 Speaker 1: you are. Now, hadn't you let yourself be so consumed 320 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,960 Speaker 1: with your love life? Now you're still not old at all. 321 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,160 Speaker 1: You're not even thirty, as you said, you're just about 322 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,120 Speaker 1: finishing your twenties, so you're not even out of your 323 00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:49,119 Speaker 1: twenties yet. Listen, you've dated. That's what you gotta do 324 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 1: to realize what's good for you and what's not. That's 325 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,119 Speaker 1: what you gotta do to learn yourself. That's what you 326 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,879 Speaker 1: have to do to learn what you don't want, what 327 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:59,120 Speaker 1: you can't stand, what you won't take, your disadvantages, your advantages, 328 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: like all of that. That's what people do to find 329 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,240 Speaker 1: the right one they date. Okay, there's no rule book 330 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,960 Speaker 1: to the ship, so don't kick yourself and ask too 331 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 1: much on that note. But when it comes to your life, 332 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,879 Speaker 1: you know, because you just told me, you've spent so 333 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,680 Speaker 1: much time trying to make this work with this man 334 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,479 Speaker 1: and this man and that man and that man, and 335 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:23,040 Speaker 1: it hasn't worked. That you lost yourself. This is something 336 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,480 Speaker 1: that I see every day. This is something that I've 337 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 1: even almost done for too long in my life. Then 338 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,480 Speaker 1: I got ahold of myself. You still can get ahold 339 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,680 Speaker 1: of yourself now. Look, you have a dream to be 340 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 1: a famous singer. Even if that does not work, it's 341 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,080 Speaker 1: not because oh you're just in your your late twenties 342 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:45,080 Speaker 1: now and girl, listen, it does not matter. Always used 343 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,440 Speaker 1: to chains two chains didn't blow until he was what 344 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 1: what forty? Come on now, nobody care. It ain't about 345 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 1: your age. This is not the old, old, long time 346 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,280 Speaker 1: agose days. No it's not. You can still sing, yes 347 00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 1: you can. You can still be a singer. It is possible. Look, 348 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: I don't hold the keys to making people famous, No 349 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,479 Speaker 1: I don't. But what I do know is that you 350 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 1: can still be a singer. You can still do what 351 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 1: you want to do, and you can prosper from that. 352 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,480 Speaker 1: You can build. If you have a dream, you fucking 353 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,760 Speaker 1: follow it. That's all. You just got caught up in love. 354 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,359 Speaker 1: I don't really need to give you much advice on 355 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:25,600 Speaker 1: your career because you know what held you back now 356 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:29,880 Speaker 1: as far as cutting off your toxic relationship, friendships and 357 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 1: all of that type of stuff. I understand that too. 358 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 1: You say that you're bored. You're so bored that you 359 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,879 Speaker 1: missed the toxic relationships and you just want something to do. 360 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,120 Speaker 1: And everybody that you cut off sometimes you miss them 361 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,760 Speaker 1: because now you're cutting everybody off that was toxic in 362 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,440 Speaker 1: your life, whether it be man, woman, friendship, relationship. You're 363 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,960 Speaker 1: so bored, you're willing to even put up with the 364 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 1: toxicity because you just want something to do. Sweetie, do 365 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,600 Speaker 1: you realize what you're saying. You aren't treading life like 366 00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,240 Speaker 1: it's like a like a little game like that's rather childish. 367 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,159 Speaker 1: On that particular part, that was the only part I 368 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,679 Speaker 1: felt like I was talking to a child. I was 369 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,479 Speaker 1: listening to a child. You're grown, you have no kids, 370 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,840 Speaker 1: You have no obligations to anyone. You still have a 371 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,919 Speaker 1: life full of opportunity and possibilities that you can like 372 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:21,720 Speaker 1: it's limitless for you. You're not tied down. You're very smart. Girl. 373 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,680 Speaker 1: Go get a goddamn job. Go get your ass a job. 374 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:26,960 Speaker 1: You can be a dental assistant, you can go be 375 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 1: somebody's receptionists, you can go fucking like, ma'am, yes you're 376 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,800 Speaker 1: in school, yes you but you're you're even living with 377 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:36,480 Speaker 1: somebody that you don't even want to be with it, 378 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:41,160 Speaker 1: just for convenience and for financial reasons. You're living your 379 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,840 Speaker 1: life like a college kid hanging on by a thread. 380 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,720 Speaker 1: You even told me you dropped out of school for love. Look, 381 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,600 Speaker 1: you need to stop dating for a long time, even 382 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,919 Speaker 1: with this man you're living with. No no, no, no, 383 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,679 Speaker 1: no no. You don't even sound excited talking about them. 384 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 1: You're not attracted to them, obviously. You just want some 385 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,679 Speaker 1: dick from time to time, and you want to be 386 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: able to have money, and you want to be a singer. 387 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,720 Speaker 1: But what it sounds like is that you've never really 388 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:08,439 Speaker 1: put any hard work into yourself. And I'm putting it 389 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 1: more specifically that way because I don't even think that 390 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,760 Speaker 1: you see it that way. You're blaming it all on 391 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 1: love because you even said it. I mean, if it 392 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,159 Speaker 1: falls in my lap, okay, great. You can't expect anything 393 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,080 Speaker 1: to fall in your lap, not a man, not a job, 394 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:28,000 Speaker 1: not a singing career, nothing. Everything that people have really 395 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:31,119 Speaker 1: successful people, they worked for it, unless it was passed 396 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,400 Speaker 1: on down. They don't seem like your parents gonna give 397 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:37,160 Speaker 1: you jack, honey. So you need to pull yourself up. 398 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 1: Don't focus on a man. And what a man can 399 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,400 Speaker 1: do for you, not even the one that lives with you. 400 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,600 Speaker 1: Don't focus on him. What you need to do is 401 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,960 Speaker 1: you need to release him from your house. I'm not 402 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,440 Speaker 1: gonna say put him out abruptly or whatever, because that's rude, 403 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:55,439 Speaker 1: But you need to release that man from your house. 404 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,920 Speaker 1: You're using him, you're using him. Okay, that ain't gonna 405 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 1: go nowhere. He's not attracted to you. You ain't attracted Sam, 406 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,640 Speaker 1: You're way too okay with this way of living right now. 407 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,239 Speaker 1: And in Phoenix, Arizona ain't nowhere for nobody to blow up. 408 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 1: I'm telling I'm telling you, you got the answer. Take 409 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,920 Speaker 1: your ass to l A, get a job, and make 410 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:19,200 Speaker 1: you a social platform. Start doing covers. That's how Lama 411 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 1: made it. That's how a lot of a lot of 412 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:25,720 Speaker 1: stars made it. Queen Nijah, Jack, Queens, a lot of 413 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 1: these celebrities made it by doing covers and they were 414 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 1: recognized on big platforms like YouTube. Make a YouTube channel. 415 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:37,800 Speaker 1: Pretty soon, I'm about to drop a seminar for entrepreneurs 416 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 1: who want to make money using their platform. Again, that's 417 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,439 Speaker 1: not the ticket to famous, that's not the ticket to 418 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:48,120 Speaker 1: start them. That's the ticket to some goddamn money, because 419 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,399 Speaker 1: what what do we need now these days? With this 420 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,040 Speaker 1: economy and this this market that we're in and everything, 421 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,920 Speaker 1: we need money more than we need some goddamn fame. Okay, 422 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,119 Speaker 1: back then, everybody wanted to be famous. How about now? 423 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,119 Speaker 1: I bet if you ask everybody that wanted to be 424 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,520 Speaker 1: famous years and years ago what they want now? What 425 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,440 Speaker 1: they would take now? Famous over money? Oh, it would 426 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,400 Speaker 1: be money. It would be money. Famous is not even 427 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:13,880 Speaker 1: the same famous it was when I was growing up. Okay, 428 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,200 Speaker 1: sometimes I don't even want to be famous. Sometimes I don't. 429 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,399 Speaker 1: But I'm already here, and now look what I'm doing. 430 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 1: I'm helping people like you. I need for you to 431 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,240 Speaker 1: pull yourself the funk up. You need to put that 432 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:27,360 Speaker 1: man at your house. You need to start looking for 433 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,760 Speaker 1: a new place to live. Phoenix ain't gonna do it 434 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,879 Speaker 1: for you. You didn't already wore Phoenix out, honey, looking 435 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 1: up and down Phoenix streets for some goddamn love. Girl, 436 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:39,720 Speaker 1: Look for a job, Get your life together. What's your 437 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,440 Speaker 1: smart self? What is wrong with you? What's wrong with you? 438 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,960 Speaker 1: I often ask women that especially the women that right me, 439 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 1: what is wrong with you? Because obviously there is something 440 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 1: wrong with you. Woman? Put that man out, and you 441 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:56,159 Speaker 1: sitting here telling me that you just moved them in 442 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,440 Speaker 1: for the money. But then on another hand, you say, 443 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,399 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna leave it to God. I'm just gonna no, no, no, 444 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,680 Speaker 1: it don't work like that. I want I want these 445 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,640 Speaker 1: people that I want y'all to understand that y'all cannot 446 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,680 Speaker 1: use God when it's convenient for you. You can't do 447 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:13,920 Speaker 1: that because what you're doing right now is not good. 448 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,480 Speaker 1: What you've done up to this moment. It's put yourself 449 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,840 Speaker 1: last and every other man first. That's still what you're 450 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 1: doing right now. That's your place. Learn to depend on 451 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,959 Speaker 1: the woman you are, learned to depend on your stability. 452 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 1: Learn to get some goddamn dignity. You see right now, 453 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 1: where all this love and all this convenience and all 454 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:39,400 Speaker 1: this putting everybody else puts you, It puts you last, Literally, 455 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 1: it puts your last. You're the last person on your 456 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:45,280 Speaker 1: priority list. L A would be a good move. Vegas 457 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,080 Speaker 1: would be a good move, Atlanta would be a good move. 458 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 1: Miami would be a good move. If you need money 459 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,200 Speaker 1: to move, that means you need to get a job. 460 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,199 Speaker 1: While you and Phoenix saved up because you have no kids. 461 00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:58,160 Speaker 1: You don't have no kids, you don't have no miles 462 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 1: to feed but your own. And don't give me no bullshit. 463 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,320 Speaker 1: I don't want a regular job, Oh well baby, look 464 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,439 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to get one. But the way you speak, 465 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,080 Speaker 1: a girl, you can get any almost almost any goddamn 466 00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,320 Speaker 1: job you want. I ain't trying to hear that ship 467 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,680 Speaker 1: check back in with me because let them piss me off. 468 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 1: And then another thing I want to say before I go. 469 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 1: You're talking to me about how this retired ex military 470 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:24,200 Speaker 1: man who was once married before now divorce, makes six figures, 471 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,160 Speaker 1: no kids and all that, why the hell he ain't 472 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,919 Speaker 1: got his own place? Why the hell? And how the 473 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,760 Speaker 1: hell is he living in your house? And he's dictating 474 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,960 Speaker 1: rules like I don't want to have sex because I 475 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 1: don't want that to give you power to put me out? Well, 476 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,320 Speaker 1: is the sex good or is it gonna be? Phone? 477 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,760 Speaker 1: Why would I put you out? Shure? What's what's what's 478 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 1: going on there? Don't give me no bullshit about this 479 00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:47,120 Speaker 1: man because you ain't telling me something. Because if he's 480 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:51,600 Speaker 1: a six figure making retired ex military once before murray 481 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,320 Speaker 1: nailed divorce, no man that that's a come up to 482 00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:58,200 Speaker 1: me and all he gotta do left is to be handsome. 483 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,440 Speaker 1: Oh baby girl, don't play with your damn self. It's 484 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,960 Speaker 1: the reason why you don't want his ass. It's the reason, 485 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:06,760 Speaker 1: and it's something that you ain't telling me, why he 486 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:12,240 Speaker 1: can't live by himself, why six figure my ass? Don't 487 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,639 Speaker 1: feed me that, but check back in with me, and 488 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,520 Speaker 1: just like that, we've come to the end of another 489 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,240 Speaker 1: just fixed my Mess Carefully Reckless episode with your Girl 490 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,640 Speaker 1: just hilarious. Y'all. Make sure you'll tune into Reckless discussions tonight. 491 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 1: It will premiere at seven pm. Every Wednesday at seven pm, 492 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:32,200 Speaker 1: and Carefully Reckless every Wednesday at seven am. Tune in peace. 493 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,159 Speaker 1: Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and 494 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,200 Speaker 1: The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, 495 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,800 Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever 496 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,240 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.