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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter at Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live.

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Speaker 1: That's for you J on the air like we're doing

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. Never know it could

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Speaker 1: be yours could be Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 1: We got it for you here. It is a Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter subject It's time for a change. Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I'm a Board certified registered nurse and I was raised

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Speaker 1: in public housing by my aunt because my mother had

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Speaker 1: me when she was sixteen. After I graduated from high school,

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Speaker 1: I found out my aunt was sleeping with my boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: so I beat her up and spent time in juvenile detention.

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Speaker 1: From that point on, I was told that I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: amount to anything. I beat the odds and I got

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Speaker 1: a nursing degree. I'm thirty years old and I just

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Speaker 1: bought my first house not far from where I grew up.

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Speaker 1: All my female friends from high school are still fighting

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Speaker 1: over the same men and working two and three jobs

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Speaker 1: to pay the bills. We still have house parties and

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Speaker 1: go on vacations, but I usually pay most of the

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Speaker 1: expenses when we plan anything. I have been dating the

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Speaker 1: same guy for ten years, and I'm really proud of

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Speaker 1: the man he's become. I've been patient with him while

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Speaker 1: he completes his degree, but I don't think he's taking

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Speaker 1: classes right now. When I evaluate where I am and

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Speaker 1: who I associate with, I get sad. At work, I'm

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Speaker 1: a different person. I got to talk to the other

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Speaker 1: shift nurses and doctors, and it's a different world than

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Speaker 1: what I live. And when I go home, my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: loves to say I'm different and I talk proper. When

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Speaker 1: I'm at work, I am aware that I'm two different people,

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Speaker 1: and I enjoy the progressive side of life more so

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Speaker 1: than the one I grew up in. The more I

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Speaker 1: hang with my girls on the weekend and we drink

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Speaker 1: till three am, the more I know that I'm growing them.

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Speaker 1: I'm ready to walk away from everything that's familiar in

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Speaker 1: my life. But I can't do this anymore. Am I

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Speaker 1: being a sellout if I pull away from my friends?

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Speaker 1: Am I supposed to keep waiting for my boyfriend to

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Speaker 1: get himself all the way together? Is there a way

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Speaker 1: to distance myself respectfully? Wow, if anyone needs a change

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Speaker 1: in their life, I would say it would be you.

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Speaker 1: And those of us who have lived and have some

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Speaker 1: experience at life, we will definitely tell you that the

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Speaker 1: one constant in life is change and we can't avoid

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Speaker 1: it because it's going to happen whether we want it

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Speaker 1: to or not. And guess what you're feeling and what

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Speaker 1: you're going through right now. That's a good thing. You

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Speaker 1: distance yourself by trying new things, different things, and staying busy.

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Speaker 1: That's how you do it respectfully. And you can say no.

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Speaker 1: It's okay to say no if you don't want to

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Speaker 1: do stuff with them like hanging out and drinking till

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Speaker 1: three am. You know that's not what you do anymore.

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Speaker 1: Change means growth, and you already said that you are

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Speaker 1: out growing them. You feel it, you see it, and

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Speaker 1: that's okay. Trust me, you will not be the first

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Speaker 1: one to get a new circle of friends. It's nothing

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Speaker 1: wrong with that. You should accept and embrace it where

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Speaker 1: it's taking you. This is your path, now, your journey.

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Speaker 1: You're on your journey. You're not a sellout, and don't

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Speaker 1: let them try to make you think you're a sellout

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Speaker 1: because you want to move up and move on and

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Speaker 1: move differently. They just they just don't want you to

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Speaker 1: outshine them, all right, that's where that hate would be

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Speaker 1: coming from. You're thirty. Now what is your man doing

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Speaker 1: besides putting you down, talking about you? Talk proper and

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Speaker 1: you're different. Now you said he's not even in school

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Speaker 1: taking classes, so you have no idea when or if

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Speaker 1: he's gonna finish. I say, stop wasting your time. Go

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Speaker 1: ahead and live your life. Please, don't waste any more

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Speaker 1: of your time with your hating friends. You have to

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Speaker 1: pay for everything with them anyway. What is that about

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Speaker 1: that says to me that they're users letting you pay

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Speaker 1: for everything. That's not right. So if they don't appreciate

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Speaker 1: the change in you, that doesn't ignite like something in

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Speaker 1: them to be better. I think there are plenty of

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Speaker 1: other people out there that will. I just say, go on,

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Speaker 1: live your life, be great, Steve, all right, the subject

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Speaker 1: is this time for a change. Let me say this

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Speaker 1: about Sherley's response. Every single word Shirley Strawberry just said

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Speaker 1: was one thousand percent true. Period. There's no getting around

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Speaker 1: what she told you. Nothing like this sometimes you have

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Speaker 1: to hear it a different way. Now, what Shirley did

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Speaker 1: was she told you exactly right. I hope you hear

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Speaker 1: that because she told you almost in a way where

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Speaker 1: your new, better and more improved side could understand and

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Speaker 1: take it in. So, since Shirley has so eloquently done

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Speaker 1: that for the new, improved knew you, I'm gonna talk

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Speaker 1: to you as the old you, so you can get

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Speaker 1: both sides. You can pick which one you And now

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Speaker 1: I want you to understand, I'm gonna say the exact

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Speaker 1: same thing Shirley just said, but we're gonna take the

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Speaker 1: other route. Let's break the letter down. Here we go.

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Speaker 1: I'm a boy, certified registered nurse. I was raised in

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Speaker 1: public housing by my aunt because my mother had me

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Speaker 1: when she was sixteen. After I graduated from high school,

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Speaker 1: I found out my aunt was sleeping with my boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: so I beat her up and I had to spend

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Speaker 1: time at juvenile detention. Okay, great, let's break this down.

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Speaker 1: Your mama had you, allie, you moved in with your aunt.

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Speaker 1: Your aunt was, you know, tricky. You found out she

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Speaker 1: slept with your boyfriend. You whip your aunt ass. Ye

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Speaker 1: did what happened? Now you jumped on her real good

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Speaker 1: because you got charges pressed. And now you then went

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Speaker 1: down to juvie. Now you were told that you would

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Speaker 1: never amount to anything, and then you beat the odds.

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Speaker 1: You got out, you rose above your circumstances. You did

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Speaker 1: exactly that. You have a nursing degree, You're thirty years old,

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Speaker 1: and you just bought your first house not far from

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Speaker 1: where I grew up. That was the mistake. You bought

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Speaker 1: your first house not far from where you grew up.

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Speaker 1: That was your first mistake. Because now it has kept

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Speaker 1: you too close to your past. And I hate to

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Speaker 1: tell y'all this, but the anti in the hood, you

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Speaker 1: got to keep it real, the real anti should be.

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Speaker 1: You got to keep it moving. Hang with why Yeah,

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Speaker 1: hang on. We'll have part two of your response coming

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Speaker 1: up at twenty three minutes after today's Strawberry letter subject

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Speaker 1: It's time for a change. We'll get back into it

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Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening to show, all right, Come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject It's time for

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Speaker 1: a change. Young girl had a very whose thirty ye

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Speaker 1: old woman is writing this letter had a very similar

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Speaker 1: pass to a lot of people her mother was young

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Speaker 1: when she had a that's not a problem or sin?

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Speaker 1: Are you raised by your aunt? And then you found

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Speaker 1: out when you're graduating high school, y'alln't sleeping with your boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: So you beat the ass, and you had spent some

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Speaker 1: time down in Julie. And from that point on you

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Speaker 1: was told you wouldn't amount to anything. And then you

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Speaker 1: did what so many of us have done. You beat

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Speaker 1: the odds. You got a nursing degree, You're thirty years old,

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Speaker 1: you just bought your first house. Here's a problem not

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Speaker 1: far from where I grew up, right around them, very

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Speaker 1: same people that said you would never amount to anything.

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Speaker 1: All your female friends from high school are still fighting

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Speaker 1: over the same end and working two and three jobs

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Speaker 1: to pay the bills. All my female friends from high

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Speaker 1: school are still fighting over the same end and working

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Speaker 1: two three jobs pay the bill. I'm gonna save my

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Speaker 1: next statement. We still have house parties, go on vacations,

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Speaker 1: but I usually pay most of the expresses when we

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Speaker 1: playing anything. Shirley said it this way. You need a

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Speaker 1: new group of friends. Why it's your ass trying to

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Speaker 1: hang on to something that is not providing a benefit

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Speaker 1: to you. You know, why Because you are suffering from

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Speaker 1: what so many people use as an emotion that has

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Speaker 1: turned out to be the most useless emotion in the world,

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Speaker 1: and it is called guilt. Stop suffering from guilt because

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Speaker 1: it's a useless emotion. It serves nobody any purposes up

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Speaker 1: the person who's applying the guilt, and the guilt is

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Speaker 1: being applied by your friends since they can't afford to

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Speaker 1: do nothing you can. You got to pay for You

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Speaker 1: need some new damn friends. Here we go, but I

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Speaker 1: usually pay for most of dispressive. I have been dating

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Speaker 1: the same guy for ten years, and I'm really proud

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Speaker 1: of the man he's become. I've been patient with him

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Speaker 1: while he completes disagree, but I don't think he's taking

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Speaker 1: classes right now. And when I elevate what I am

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Speaker 1: and who I associate with, I get sad. You are

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Speaker 1: now sad with where you've gotten yourself because where you've

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Speaker 1: gotten remains to stay too close to where you're from.

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Speaker 1: Once again, the antige in the hood, if you got

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Speaker 1: to keep it real, the antig is really you got

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Speaker 1: to keep it moving so you have time to try

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Speaker 1: to stay true to your roots. When your roots is sick,

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Speaker 1: your roots are poisoned. Your root is gonna hinder and

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Speaker 1: throught the development of your growth as a plant because

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Speaker 1: you're trying to stay true to your roots. Where your

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Speaker 1: roots ain't moving, they ain't in't good soul, they ain't

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Speaker 1: being fertilized or nothing. Now you got the same guy

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Speaker 1: for ten years. You're proud of the man he's become,

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Speaker 1: but you don't think he in classic right. You don't

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Speaker 1: even know what he's doing. So now your association, if

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Speaker 1: you continue to associate, you remember the same association brings

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Speaker 1: on participation. If you keep hanging with the guess what

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Speaker 1: you keep doing what them is doing? So now you're

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Speaker 1: through on the house parties and you're drinking. What what's

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Speaker 1: the benefit At work, I'm a different person. I get

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Speaker 1: to talk to the other shift nurses. Oh, you get

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Speaker 1: to talk with the people who are like minded. Oh okay,

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Speaker 1: you could talk to other shift nurses and doctors. And

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Speaker 1: it's a different world than when I live in When

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Speaker 1: I go home, that's because you bought your home in

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Speaker 1: the wrong place. You know, you ain't gotta keep it real,

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Speaker 1: you gotta keep it moving. And this is not an

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Speaker 1: anti hood statement, because all the great things in my

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Speaker 1: life is from the hood. I couldn't stay there and

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Speaker 1: elevate at the same time. So Number one, you need

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Speaker 1: to think about that. My boyfriend loves to say I'm

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Speaker 1: different and I talk proper when I'm at work. I'm

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Speaker 1: aware that I'm two different people, and I enjoy the

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Speaker 1: progressive side of my life more than one. I grew

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Speaker 1: up here. It's because you're this time for you to

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Speaker 1: grow up and to move on. Some people are in

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Speaker 1: your life for a season. There are a lot of

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Speaker 1: people in your life that are seasonal people. Everybody come

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Speaker 1: with you can't go with you. You got to stop

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Speaker 1: trying to hang onto your past when it's throat in

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Speaker 1: your future. You can't keep hanging out with what you

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Speaker 1: used to be when God has something clearly he wants

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Speaker 1: you to be. But you have the power of choice,

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Speaker 1: so hanging on to what you used to be is

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Speaker 1: prohibiting you from fully reaching the potential of what you

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Speaker 1: could be. I'm not ready to walk away from everything

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Speaker 1: that's familiar in my life. Then cool, stay out throughout

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Speaker 1: your growth, continue not to grow, go to house party,

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Speaker 1: drink to three o'clock in the morning. Day. The man

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Speaker 1: that ain't moving forward. That's tripping on you because you're

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Speaker 1: different and you enjoy the difference, but you ain't ready

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Speaker 1: to walk away from everything that's familiar with you. If

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Speaker 1: you stay in your comfort zone, that's where you're gonna fail.

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Speaker 1: That's true. That again, if you stay in your comfort zone,

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Speaker 1: that's where you will fail. Success is not in your

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Speaker 1: comfort zone. It's on the other side. And if you

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Speaker 1: want to be successful, you got to get out your

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Speaker 1: comfort zone and prepare yourself to get uncomfortable. Am I

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Speaker 1: being a sellout if I pull out from my friend? Now? Hell? No,

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Speaker 1: you ain't being a sellout. It's called moved out. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you ain't no sellout, You moved out. Am I supposed

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Speaker 1: to keep waiting for my boyfriend to get himself all

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Speaker 1: the way together? Is that way to distance myself respectfully? No?

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Speaker 1: The way you distance yourself respectfully is that you stop

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Speaker 1: hanging with them. Stop, lady, you know them nothing. They're

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Speaker 1: going to say. Keep it real to you. They're gonna

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Speaker 1: say you a sellout. All you can stay there and

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Speaker 1: regret it the rest of your life, or you can

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Speaker 1: go and move on and see what God has for you.

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Speaker 1: Athing to be less black post You're coming on Today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM, on Instagram and Facebook.

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Speaker 1: Check out the Pop Strawberry Letter podcast on demand coming

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Speaker 1: up at forty six minutes after the hours Sports Talk Junior.

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Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to this Dave Harvey Morning

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Speaker 1: Show