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Speaker 1: This is John, This is Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and

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Speaker 1: we have some story is coming up for you. That's right.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a little morsel of a

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Speaker 2: two minute at break from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

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Speaker 2: H My best friend believes I owe her everything, including

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: She's got receipts.

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Speaker 2: I know I should be careful calling someone best friend

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Speaker 2: in a post like this, but I don't know how

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Speaker 2: else to call Jesse Jesse.

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Speaker 1: Wait, don't know. Jesse had a girl, not is a girl? Right.

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Speaker 1: Our parents are a great friend.

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Speaker 2: So we grew up together and she kind of had

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Speaker 2: my back in high school.

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Speaker 1: She kind of had.

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Speaker 2: My back in high school just a little just emphasis

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Speaker 2: on the kind of long story short. On the teenage

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Speaker 2: food chain, she was on the top and I should

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Speaker 2: be on the bottom. But nobody messed with me because

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Speaker 2: I was Jesse's friend.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, by the way around Jesse.

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Speaker 2: Jesse's friend. By the way, this comes from someone And

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Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 2: the r slash okay storytime subreddit. Can we find that

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Speaker 2: user name Jesse is one of those people who requires attention.

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Speaker 1: I never minded though nobody's perfect, right, Everyone needs a

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Speaker 1: little attention. It's he's a little bit of attention. She's

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Speaker 1: one of those people that like needs people to see

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Speaker 1: she lives.

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Speaker 2: She's like a vampire but attention. But now that I

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Speaker 2: have my first real boyfriend, she doesn't know how to

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Speaker 2: behave Every time we're together, she's really hansy, always touching

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Speaker 2: his arms, running fingers through his hair, complimenting him. And

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Speaker 2: now she even started with the prank spankings on the butt.

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Speaker 1: You know. Oh yeah, I know, we know, we know.

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Speaker 1: I'm so aware of that.

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Speaker 2: You guys know, I don't know if I've ever heard

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Speaker 2: of the prank girl girl best your your girl best

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Speaker 2: friend spanking your boyfriends. But I don't think I've heard

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Speaker 2: about those pranks. I think that that's a different kind

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Speaker 2: of prank. I don't really do that. I don't like that.

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Speaker 2: I just feel really uncomfortable with it. Maybe it's normal.

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Speaker 2: I mean, Jesse has a lot of guy friends, so

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Speaker 2: maybe this is okay. My boyfriend never thought much of

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Speaker 2: it either. Am I just overreacting? Why is your boyfriend

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Speaker 2: so chill with this?

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Speaker 1: Well, because that's like that is some of you know,

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Speaker 1: that is the boy's behavior. Yeah, but it's so if

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Speaker 1: he's just she's just one of the boys. One of

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Speaker 1: the boys, maybe, but but also, like, come on, it's strange.

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Speaker 2: Come on, am I just overreacting? She's super pretty, so

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Speaker 2: maybe I'm just jealous.

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Speaker 1: No, this is weird. Well, especially with the setup of like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know she's my best friend, she kinda had

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Speaker 1: my bag, and it sounds.

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Speaker 2: Like she's trying to steal your boyfriend. Yeah, that's exactly

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Speaker 2: what she's doing.

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Speaker 1: I mean, she's really touchy, she's.

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Speaker 2: Spanking him now, and it's not like she was his friend.

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Speaker 1: You know, maybe maybe it'd be a little bit better. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: a decade. Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, yesterday something really threw me off. Boyfriend had to

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Speaker 2: do some work and I had a book thing Bobby,

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Speaker 2: so we decided to meet later at a friend's house.

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Speaker 2: They were getting together to drink and so on. Boyfriend

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Speaker 2: finishes work early and calls me. But I don't really

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Speaker 2: need him to come over to the book thing. I

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Speaker 2: know he doesn't like it, so I just tell him

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Speaker 2: to go to the friend's house. Then I started getting

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Speaker 2: texts from Jesse, all like, girl, you gotta come to

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Speaker 2: this party now your boyfriend's west Hello, wel hellol, we're

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Speaker 2: so west it keeps going.

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Speaker 1: Was so wasted.

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Speaker 2: We need to come and stop us. I can't behave

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Speaker 2: myself if you don't get here soon.

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Speaker 1: That is the most cringe I've ever seen. Why did

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Speaker 1: you send your boyfriend over there?

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Speaker 2: I mean, obviously this is her fault, but like, I'm

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Speaker 2: confused why he went over to your friend's house. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I guess. I guess maybe he's into your hot friend.

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Speaker 2: I think that he's into your hot friend who's.

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Speaker 1: Trying to actively steal your boyfriend. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I don't know this is This is

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Speaker 2: very strange and so on. The book thing took longer

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Speaker 2: than I thought, and I was just getting madder and madder.

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Speaker 2: But I'm very non confrontational person, so I deal with it.

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Speaker 1: No, you don't.

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Speaker 2: You just get mad definition you don't deal with it.

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Speaker 2: I think they deal with it internally. Yeah, they're just

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Speaker 2: like I'm fine with this.

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Speaker 1: I just she kind of had my back.

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Speaker 2: I call boyfriend when it's over because I don't feel

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Speaker 2: like going to this party anymore. But I was his ride,

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Speaker 2: so I asked him if he needs me to come

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Speaker 2: pick him up.

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Speaker 1: He says sure.

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Speaker 2: I get there and don't even go inside. I am

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Speaker 2: ready to release the hounds of heck on him. But

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Speaker 2: he gets in my car and he is stone cold, sober.

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Speaker 2: M I asked him if he was drinking and then

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Speaker 2: show him Jessica's texts. He gets super upset and says

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Speaker 2: she was lying. He wasn't even hanging directly with her,

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Speaker 2: but catching up with a friend who just came back

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Speaker 2: to town. He says, I should I texted him letting

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Speaker 2: him know what she was saying so he could confront

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Speaker 2: her about it. Since you don't even seem able to

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Speaker 2: give that girl some boundaries his words, I mean absolutely, yeah, Oh,

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Speaker 2: he needs to put some boundaries up.

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Speaker 1: But also if.

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Speaker 2: She's spanking him, he needs to put some boundaries up.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yes, everyone needs to put boundaries up with Jessica.

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Speaker 1: It's if it's in the context of it's one of

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Speaker 1: the boys that's different and if and if that is

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Speaker 1: the context that he's viewing it through. If I'm op,

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Speaker 1: I'm not worried, yeah, because it's just like like we

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Speaker 1: have me and Kia I'm not gonna name them, but

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Speaker 1: we have friends where it's just like they're girls, but

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Speaker 1: they're one of the guys. Yea, and they could slap

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Speaker 1: my butt and it would be the it would be

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Speaker 1: so like the most potonic thing of all times.

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Speaker 2: I agree, I agree, but I don't think that's what's

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Speaker 2: happening here.

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Speaker 1: But that's not what she wants. That's not what she wants.

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Speaker 1: I just think that's what he had been interpreting it as.

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Speaker 1: And now he's realizing, Like, wait, she said I was drunk.

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Speaker 1: What a minute, what are you talking about saying I

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Speaker 1: liked it and was into her?

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Speaker 2: Yet?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: Just like what now I am thinking maybe I should

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Speaker 2: talk to Jesse, but maybe she was just wasted and

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Speaker 2: annoying me because she wanted to be there. I think

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Speaker 2: you should actually stop talking to Jose. Yeah, I think

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Speaker 2: you should point blank get her out of your life. Right,

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean, this girl was really nice

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Speaker 2: to me growing up when she could have been a witch.

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Speaker 1: Hold on, what is that even mean? Hold on?

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Speaker 2: Hold on one now we're putting a really nice That's

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Speaker 2: not what you said at the beginning. You said she

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Speaker 2: kind of had your bag and the options were either

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Speaker 2: she could have been nice to you or she could

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Speaker 2: have bullied you.

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Speaker 1: Right, that's not a great That's not great. Does she

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Speaker 1: bully other people. It's just a pure like hypothetical in

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Speaker 1: your head. You're like, well, you didn't deserve to be Yeah,

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Speaker 1: having someone be mean to you, you didn't deserve that.

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Speaker 2: I'm also wondering if Jesse told her like made her

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Speaker 2: very aware of her like popularity or thereof.

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Speaker 1: And she's like, I'm doing you a favor. Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: If I wasn't your friend a people would be slamming

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Speaker 2: you into lockers.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that probably is.

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Speaker 2: I don't like how she behaves around him, but at

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Speaker 2: the same time, I don't want it to look like

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Speaker 2: her don't trust her? Is there a polite way of

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Speaker 2: going about it? Or should I maybe wait and see

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Speaker 2: if this happens again? Am I overreacting and there is

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Speaker 2: an update? O? So what do you think you gotta

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Speaker 2: like tell her that you, yeah, that you feel disrespected

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Speaker 2: because she's trying to steal your boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, be like, Hey, I don't really like you and

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Speaker 1: that's it. Yeah, I don't really like you. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: don't like how you've been active with my boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah it's kind of messed up. Yeah, I think you

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Speaker 2: have to put those boundaries up now. I honestly don't

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Speaker 2: feel like this friendship is great. I don't know if

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Speaker 2: it's worth saving. Seems pretty one sided. Yeah, it seems

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Speaker 2: like you kind of It feels kind of like she's

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Speaker 2: your god and you're like, thank you for not smiting me,

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Speaker 2: appreciate it, thank you for taking pity on me.

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Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, that's it, and that's not a good

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Speaker 1: relationship to eve been dynamic in a friendship. But there

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Speaker 1: is an update.

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Speaker 2: I am very thankful to all those who commented, especially

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Speaker 2: the ones who encouraged me to say something and what

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Speaker 2: to say. I don't like arguments, so these were very

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Speaker 2: important to me. Thank you. Last night, we were alone

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Speaker 2: because she wanted me to help her choose clothes for

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Speaker 2: an event. I was at her place, so I thought

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Speaker 2: I should say something. I wanted to say something.

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Speaker 1: I was very.

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Speaker 2: Polite and just said that I knew she meant no harm,

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Speaker 2: but I didn't feel good about it, so I asked

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Speaker 2: her if she could tone it down.

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Speaker 1: I should have said stop, but I guess I'm weak.

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Speaker 1: Oh stop it. Don't do that. I'm gonna stop it.

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Speaker 1: You're not. You've just been programmed by these You need.

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Speaker 2: To like have faith in yourself, you know, yes, she

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Speaker 2: didn't really say anything mean, but her attitude was a

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Speaker 2: bit off. I think she was looking at me in

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Speaker 2: a scornful kind of way. And the way she smiled

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Speaker 2: once I was done talking, it just felt weird. She

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Speaker 2: didn't say anything else but okay, and we just moved

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Speaker 2: on to choosing your clothes and I left after we

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Speaker 2: were supposed to go get something to eat, but she

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Speaker 2: said she was tired. I'm not dumb.

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Speaker 1: She was hurt.

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Speaker 2: So I texted a common friend, more her friend than mine,

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Speaker 2: and without getting into details, I just told him that

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Speaker 2: I talked to Jess about something that was important to me,

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Speaker 2: but I was afraid she may have gotten the wrong

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Speaker 2: idea from it.

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Speaker 1: The common friend.

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Speaker 2: Said, look, I don't want to get involved, but you

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Speaker 2: should watch it. I asked what he meant. He said nothing,

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Speaker 2: just watch it. Ooh rats ratsom. Sorry, he just goes

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Speaker 2: I don't want to get involved, but watch it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, maybe it's like you should watch your back

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Speaker 1: talking to that person because you shouldn't because they're days.

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Speaker 1: It was, that's so ominous, right.

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Speaker 2: A little while after that, he texts me back and says,

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Speaker 2: changed my mind.

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Speaker 1: I do want to get involved.

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Speaker 2: Okay, and sends me a bunch of princes of texts

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Speaker 2: going back and forth between him and Jesse. It basically

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Speaker 2: starts with him asking her if the two of us

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Speaker 2: had to fight because I was worried. He was kind

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Speaker 2: with his words, I don't mind him stepping in, and

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Speaker 2: then just a non stop stream of her being horrible. Yes,

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Speaker 2: so it was what I Yes, Yeah, so he was saying,

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Speaker 2: watch your back.

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Speaker 1: Watch your mag sneaks in the grass.

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Speaker 2: She says, I had a big mouth. I went just

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Speaker 2: judging her behavior because I'm a prude. It doesn't know

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Speaker 2: how to be around guys. How she taught me everything

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Speaker 2: I know about having a life, and how dare I

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Speaker 2: tell her what she can or cannot do or how

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Speaker 2: I should thank her for even having a boyfriend at all.

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Speaker 2: Common friend actually called her out for being rude and

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Speaker 2: no friend of mine. After the Prince, he told me

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Speaker 2: I'm done with her. I give up, and you should

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Speaker 2: watch it. He also said it was okay if I

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Speaker 2: told her I had the Prince. I didn't, though, I

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Speaker 2: didn't know what to say. I mean, she's not one

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Speaker 2: hundred percent wrong?

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Speaker 1: Girl? What girl? What? What?

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Speaker 2: But even though I know that, it really hurts to

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Speaker 2: read those. Girl, you need to go to therapy, say,

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Speaker 2: because your self confidence is very low.

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Speaker 1: Prescription for the self confidence store. One trip to the

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Speaker 1: self confidence You gotta get that self confidence bolstered. This morning,

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Speaker 1: I wake up and see she texted me late at night.

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Speaker 1: She says, she knows Pete sent me the Prince, and

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Speaker 1: she didn't mean to be rude. But it's ridiculous that

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Speaker 1: I'm jealous of her, because if she wanted my boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: she could just have him. Wow, you want me to

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Speaker 1: prove it? Wow? So you didn't even text her, but

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Speaker 1: she finds out. She found out that you know, and

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Speaker 1: then texted you about it, being like, I can't even

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Speaker 1: believe that you're upset about this, which she doesn't even know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because you haven't said anything.

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Speaker 2: So I'm being silly and should just drop it, is

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Speaker 2: what she meant. She ends it with kisses and a joke.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would, I would stop, I would stop being

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Speaker 1: friends with this person, he says.

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Speaker 2: So, I don't know if she was being playful, apologizing, threatening,

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Speaker 2: or being pragmaced pragmatical. Uh, pragmatic, pragmatical, pragmatical. I didn't

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Speaker 2: answer her yet, Girl, she's being threatening she's threatening you.

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Speaker 2: She said, do you want do you want to see

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Speaker 2: me take your boyfriend? She literally said that.

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Speaker 1: She's like, you be jealous? Why would you even be jealous?

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Speaker 1: Because I can just have them right now. I'll do it.

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Speaker 1: I'll prove it, which is that's already dumb logic, that's crazy.

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Speaker 2: But I wish I could talk to someone about this,

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Speaker 2: but I am very private. I usually go to Jesse

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Speaker 2: with these things. Help and oh lord, you might have

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Speaker 2: seen the next line, but uh.

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Speaker 1: Oh lord, Wowie, there's an update. I bet you it's

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Speaker 1: all good.

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Speaker 2: Oh boy, Opie, you need to leave this group of people,

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Speaker 2: get out of there, get out of their move countries,

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Speaker 2: start over, find a new support system because you don't

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Speaker 2: have sport here.

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Speaker 1: Do you have ages?

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Speaker 2: Well, it's post high school because Opie met Jesse in

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Speaker 2: high school and now it's like working. So she's at

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Speaker 2: least somewhere in her twenties. Twenty four twenty four. Opi

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Speaker 2: is twenty four.

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Speaker 1: Jesse's twenty four and sorely lacking in self confidence, and

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Speaker 1: boyfriend is twenty six.

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Speaker 2: Okay, boyfriend's twenty Probably because you've been hanging out with Jesse.

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Speaker 1: You gotta get out of there, Get out of there.

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Speaker 2: It's true, Like you are not going to get anything

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Speaker 2: in life if you think that you don't deserve anything. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: or if you think that you deserve nothing. It's all about.

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Speaker 2: Your brain is a powerful thing, and if you just

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Speaker 2: imagine that you deserve the worst in life, that's all

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Speaker 2: you're gonna see. So imagine imagine that you just like

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Speaker 2: you can pretend, you can pretend until it feels real,

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Speaker 2: but pretend that you deserve everything and that you're the

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Speaker 2: most confident, confident, coolest person in the world.

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Speaker 1: It'll feel true. Got to fake it until you make

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Speaker 1: it it's true. That's what that is all about.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, everything that we say out loud is it. It

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Speaker 2: makes our brain think it's real, which is why I

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Speaker 2: like they tell you, you know, don't say I'm so ugly,

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Speaker 2: I'm so stupid. Therapist will say dot. Don't say that

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Speaker 2: because if you keep saying it, it'll trick your brain

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Speaker 2: into thinking that it's that you believe it. So if

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Speaker 2: you keep saying I'm so hot, I'm so confident, I'm

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Speaker 2: I'm the coolest person ever, you trick your brain into

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Speaker 2: thinking that that's true, and then.

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Speaker 1: It becomes true. Take that brain. Take that brain. Brain

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Speaker 1: is a trickable thing, man, Take it.

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Speaker 2: And that's my advice for UOP because these people though,

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Speaker 2: So let's get into the update. My boyfriend is having

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Speaker 2: spicy sleep with her. Who could have guessed.

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Speaker 1: It well not me? Oh I clocked that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she was slapping his butt and he wasn't saying

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Speaker 2: anything about it, like, and also she was touching it like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly, I'd be more like perturbed by the fingers

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Speaker 1: through the hair. Yeah. And yeah, all of it together

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Speaker 1: not a good sign. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: A friend convinced some other friends to send me prince

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Speaker 2: of text between themselves and either my boyfriend or best friend.

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Speaker 2: They are pretty clear. I confronted my boyfriend and he

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Speaker 2: looked lost. He said he loves me and it was

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Speaker 2: just spicy sleep.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, He's like, I don't understand. Ope, what's the problem here.

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Speaker 1: I just slept with her. Oh yeah it does that's like,

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Speaker 1: so what he says.

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Speaker 2: Jesse kept throwing herself at him, teasing him, and he

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Speaker 2: said he didn't like her but still wanted to hang out.

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Speaker 2: He said he just had spicy to sleep with her

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Speaker 2: to see if she would move on and leave them alone.

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Speaker 1: The classic right, that's what we all know. The classic

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Speaker 1: move is that when a girl's obsessed with you, if

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Speaker 1: you hook up with her, she'll leave you alone. It's

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Speaker 1: just like cats, when you feed them, they never come back, literally, never, ever, ever, ever.

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Speaker 2: He said he won't do it anymore, and he doesn't

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Speaker 2: even like her. He loves me, and he asked me

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Speaker 2: to please forgive him.

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Speaker 1: For God's sake. So Pete, please please tell me you

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Speaker 1: did this guy.

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Speaker 2: From the text once I finally made it through them all,

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Speaker 2: I think that Jesse went to the party where me

337
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,200
Speaker 2: and boyfriend met because she wanted to hook up with him.

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Speaker 2: She had it bad for him, but he didn't feel

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Speaker 2: the same way. She was trying to get him to

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Speaker 2: break up with me, and then to get me to

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Speaker 2: break up with him. It worked as of yesterday, he's

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Speaker 2: a single man. Good leave the little freaking cheaters to

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Speaker 2: their own devices.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean it worked like? It's like she

345
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Speaker 1: your boyfriend had a lot of responsibility in that as well.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah right, oh yeah, it was like her little

347
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Speaker 1: scheme work. It's like, you know, your boyfriend also just

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Speaker 1: he just cheated on you. He just cheated it. And

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Speaker 1: then he tried to say, well, I just cheated on

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Speaker 1: you so that she'd stop bothering me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like she was so annoying, I had to do it.

352
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Speaker 2: It's crazy in some of those some of those texts

353
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Speaker 2: they're talking about some of the hook I feel like

354
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Speaker 2: throwing up. I blocked him because.

355
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Speaker 1: He was still trying to get in touch.

356
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Speaker 2: I ghosted her, but she just sent me a message

357
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Speaker 2: saying she just heard what happened, and you know this

358
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Speaker 2: was probably for the best, right, And I feel like

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Speaker 2: Effinge's screaming. I don't know if this is an update

360
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:22,520
Speaker 2: or just me venting. Thanks for listening either way, and

361
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Speaker 2: there is an edit and an update.

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Speaker 1: Therapyy, we need to get some therapy for this, soupy.

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Speaker 2: Big time therapy Killimucompet says, OMG, she even said you

364
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:39,040
Speaker 2: want me to try, knowing that she did in fact try. Yeah,

365
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,720
Speaker 2: she had already done it. She'd already done it. That's

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Speaker 2: why she knew.

367
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Speaker 1: And that's why.

368
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,000
Speaker 2: When your friends just kind of stick up for you

369
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:49,880
Speaker 2: in high school, probably.

370
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,480
Speaker 1: Not your friend. Yeah.

371
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,520
Speaker 2: And also it seems like she didn't even get better

372
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,960
Speaker 2: after well, we know that she didn't get better after

373
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Speaker 2: high school.

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Speaker 1: She just got a lot worse. Yes, seemingly was never

375
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Speaker 1: really that good. There is never like a she's even

376
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 1: getting worse. She's just been the same amount of bad always.

377
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,479
Speaker 2: And it sucks for her because she's never gonna have

378
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Speaker 2: real friends if she keeps acting like this, Like she's

379
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,840
Speaker 2: not gonna have any close relationships, if she keeps being

380
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,679
Speaker 2: the same person that she is right now, and so

381
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,080
Speaker 2: that's her own burden to bear, and you just have

382
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Speaker 2: to leave her behind and go.

383
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,520
Speaker 1: Find real friends. Yeah, it's like she's truly not your

384
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,560
Speaker 1: problem or responsibility, not at all. But there isn't edit.

385
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Speaker 2: I don't want to sound melodramatic or sappy or anything,

386
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,560
Speaker 2: but you all brought me to tears. We keep hearing

387
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Speaker 2: about how it is insanity to rely on the internet

388
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,760
Speaker 2: for personal connections, But I just lost a boyfriend, a

389
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,719
Speaker 2: best friend, and a whole group of friends, and instead

390
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,679
Speaker 2: of feeling alone, I am more and more feeling like

391
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,720
Speaker 2: ef Yeah, that was the right thing to do.

392
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Speaker 1: I'll be okay.

393
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,119
Speaker 2: It still hurts, but not as much as it would

394
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Speaker 2: have had I really been alone. I can't even begin

395
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:57,040
Speaker 2: to thank this sub. I really don't know what to say.

396
00:18:57,359 --> 00:18:59,960
Speaker 2: Even on my previous posts that didn't get as many responses.

397
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,520
Speaker 2: It was some of the comments there that made me

398
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 2: approach the cheating thing, knowing I had to break up

399
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:08,040
Speaker 2: and move on. So it changed my life in this moment,

400
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 2: and considering I'll be doing a lot of soul searching

401
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:15,280
Speaker 2: on toxic relationships, this probably changed my life for good.

402
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 2: So thank you all so much for reaching out to

403
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 2: a stranger. This community is so precious, and I got

404
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,800
Speaker 2: a gold I don't even know what to say. Thank

405
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,679
Speaker 2: you so much. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but

406
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 2: I don't even know how much gold costs. And this

407
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 2: is an all account, so it won't really be used anyway.

408
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:32,680
Speaker 2: I'm married.

409
00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 1: There's an update. More update, get into it more more.

410
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,800
Speaker 2: I said i'd come back if anything relevant happened. Ooh.

411
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,159
Speaker 2: Ex boyfriend kept trying to get in touch with me

412
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,320
Speaker 2: through common friends. They kept asking me to unblock him

413
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,159
Speaker 2: and at least your him out because he was really

414
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:52,399
Speaker 2: sorry and he loved me.

415
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 1: She was a mess, is what you got to give him?

416
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:59,399
Speaker 1: This when they got to go hit him with adults.

417
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,880
Speaker 2: You're trying to get me back because I'm so awesome,

418
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,320
Speaker 2: ba bucks, Maybe you should have kept me for.

419
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 1: All the listeners. You better be glad you're not watching,

420
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,920
Speaker 1: because you'd be like, oh my god, it's it's too

421
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,280
Speaker 1: powerful of what they're doing. Yeah, the double l's.

422
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 2: Someone even went as far and asked me if I

423
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:18,520
Speaker 2: was really sure it happened. He admitted it. He admitted it.

424
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, what he what? He told her stop stop.

425
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,399
Speaker 2: They offered to send me Prince of texts where he

426
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,680
Speaker 2: was talking about me, so i'd see how he always

427
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 2: had great things to say and how much he cared.

428
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,679
Speaker 2: But I've had it with the Prince screen drama for

429
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:34,159
Speaker 2: life and said no to the ones who insisted. I

430
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 2: told him I wasn't unblocking him, had nothing to say

431
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,879
Speaker 2: or here, and if they kept pushing me, I'd unblocked. Sorry,

432
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,480
Speaker 2: I'd block them too. I ran into ex boyfriend at

433
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 2: this book thing I go too often, hobby of mine.

434
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,880
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm being presumptuous, but I think he went there

435
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 2: for me. Probably you told us that he didn't like

436
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,119
Speaker 2: the book stuff. Yeah, so if he was there, he

437
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 2: probably was there to like harass you. He didn't really

438
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 2: have any business there, But I'm just speculating. Really, He

439
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 2: asked if I had a few minutes for coffee. I

440
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 2: said I was a late lie. He walked me to

441
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 2: my car. He looked so good, smelled great, he was

442
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,639
Speaker 2: so sweet, was even wearing his hair the way I

443
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:10,160
Speaker 2: like it.

444
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 1: It's a trap. He's manipulating you. Don't be a goldfish

445
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:18,800
Speaker 1: right now. You have to remember remember, don't forget said

446
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,800
Speaker 1: he smells so good. I forgot everything that's happened in

447
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: the last brain wipe. Yeah.

448
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 2: I felt horrible because even after everything, I still like him.

449
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 2: I mean, it doesn't just go away. He apologized some more,

450
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,439
Speaker 2: said he knew I needed time and space, but asked

451
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 2: if I'd consider giving him another chance because he would

452
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,000
Speaker 2: wait for me, said he would never talk to Jesse

453
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,919
Speaker 2: again and would act like they had restraining orders against

454
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,760
Speaker 2: each other. And I just found it real funny how

455
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 2: everything he was saying required me trusting him, which I

456
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,920
Speaker 2: don't good on you. So I told him I wasn't

457
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 2: interested anymore and he should move on. I wish I

458
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 2: said something snappier or wittier, but I had nothing.

459
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,040
Speaker 1: That's okay, you just said the thing.

460
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 2: Said the and it doesn't matter if it's not the

461
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 2: cleverest thing you could have said. It's about standing on

462
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 2: your boundaries and telling him to go away.

463
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:13,960
Speaker 1: I had a moment.

464
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 2: This was Saturday. I haven't heard from him or friends since.

465
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:21,080
Speaker 2: I think that was that. Jesse also kept trying to

466
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 2: talk to me. Like I told some of you on comments,

467
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,119
Speaker 2: I had a trip coming up. It would have been me,

468
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 2: Jesse ex boyfriend, and a few friends. Since Jesse couldn't

469
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 2: afford it, my parents paid for most of her expenses.

470
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 2: She must have remembered this right after everything went down

471
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:40,920
Speaker 2: and panicked because I had everything, boucher's confirmation emails, credit

472
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 2: card info. She went crazy, even showed.

473
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 1: Up at my place.

474
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 2: I wasn't home, and my roommate told her to f

475
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 2: off exact words. I didn't block her at first because

476
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 2: I admit I was having some fun watching her despair.

477
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:55,880
Speaker 1: Ah I.

478
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,200
Speaker 2: I talked to my mom and she was amazing. Told

479
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 2: me I should cancel everything, even if it cost us money.

480
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 1: It was fine.

481
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:07,960
Speaker 2: So I did, and for one last bit of print

482
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,680
Speaker 2: screen drama, I printed all the emails I got confirming

483
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:16,280
Speaker 2: cancelations and sent those to Jesse with the word bye

484
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 2: before blocking her.

485
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 1: Bye bye bye, bye bye bye.

486
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 2: Don't talk to me ever again. My roommate has been amazing.

487
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,400
Speaker 2: We were never really close and now I don't even

488
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 2: know why. Probably because Jesse. Yeah, probably because Jesse.

489
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:30,359
Speaker 1: Jesse.

490
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 2: She canceled plans with her friends to stay with me

491
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,160
Speaker 2: and invited me to go out with them next weekend.

492
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, if you were hanging out with Jesse

493
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 2: often and your roommate is cool, she probably saw Jesse

494
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:41,880
Speaker 2: and was like.

495
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 1: I don't want to be anywhere near that. Agreed.

496
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 2: A few of you suggested I see a therapist, and

497
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,399
Speaker 2: I did yesterday.

498
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: That's fast. I really liked it.

499
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 2: It was just one appointment and I mostly just talked,

500
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,120
Speaker 2: but it felt good. She gave me homework. She talked

501
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:00,240
Speaker 2: a little about unhealthy and harmful relationships and asked me

502
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 2: to think about my friendship with Jesse and try to

503
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 2: point out what was healthy and what was unhealthy about.

504
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 2: It made me realize she was never really my friend Boom.

505
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 2: She was taking advantage of me for years, and she

506
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,879
Speaker 2: even had me thanking her for it.

507
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:15,359
Speaker 1: Yes.

508
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,120
Speaker 2: Therapist also told me about this, saying, I think that's

509
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 2: what it is called the self absorbed person's prayer, which

510
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 2: goes something like that didn't happen. If it did, it

511
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,520
Speaker 2: wasn't my fault. If it was, I didn't mean it,

512
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 2: and if I did it, then you deserved it, which

513
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,400
Speaker 2: is totally how Jesse is handling this whole thing now,

514
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 2: so good riddance indeed, And a final piece of gossip.

515
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,880
Speaker 2: Pete talked to me yesterday. He's checking up sometimes he's

516
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,919
Speaker 2: a good guy. Again, he's attracted to the same gender.

517
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:44,400
Speaker 2: In case someone is still thinking this might turn into

518
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 2: a romantic comedy, he said. Jesse was super sure that

519
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:51,360
Speaker 2: since I broke things off, she and Oh Pie's boyfriend

520
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 2: would hook up right away, but apparently he doesn't have

521
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 2: the same plans and that freaked her out over the weekend.

522
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 1: Sucks to suck. Ooh yeah, it sucks to suck. Big

523
00:24:59,240 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: sucks to suck.

524
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,359
Speaker 2: He says he's really a mess and went out drinking

525
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 2: hard four nights in a row, to the point he

526
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 2: has to be carried home by his pals. And yesterday

527
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 2: they all went out for lunch at this burger place.

528
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 2: Jesse was going to run her fingers through his hair

529
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 2: or something, and he just pushed her away and told

530
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,399
Speaker 2: her to stop and to never touch him again.

531
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,199
Speaker 1: Never touch me again. You could have just done that

532
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 1: before you cheated on your GHL.

533
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 2: Should have just done that before you cheated on your girlfriend.

534
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 2: Should have said stop.

535
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:28,399
Speaker 1: I don't like that. For anyone out there considering cheating

536
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 1: on their partner to get another person to ignore them,

537
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 1: don't do that. Just tell the person you want to

538
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 1: ignore you to leave you alone forever. Yeah. Easy, three

539
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:39,920
Speaker 1: simple steps.

540
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:44,439
Speaker 2: You go to them say hey, stop, leave you alone,

541
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:45,680
Speaker 2: and then you walk away.

542
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you have the great rest of your life.

543
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:48,639
Speaker 1: That's the third step.

544
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,199
Speaker 2: Great that now he manages to do that, huh. I

545
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,119
Speaker 2: guess in the end, he really did like me in

546
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 2: his sick way. No, No, he just didn't like her.

547
00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 1: That's the thing.

548
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:02,640
Speaker 2: It's like, it's not about him loving you more or anything.

549
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 2: It's the fact that he just like really wasn't interested

550
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 2: in Jessica.

551
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't even know what like. If I really

552
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 1: had to call that anything, i'd call it like he

553
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 1: wants to make himself feel less bad about what he did. Yeah,

554
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 1: probably has nothing to do with you.

555
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 2: The thing is, I don't want to be with someone

556
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 2: who likes me in a sick way. I want to

557
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 2: be with someone who likes me in a healthy way.

558
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 2: I think I deserve that. You do you do deserve that.

559
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 1: Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, people. We don't

560
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 1: you know, we don't want to be saying, oh, he

561
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 1: deserves a healthy, beautiful relationship too fast. They might, you know,

562
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 1: they might, they might throw a curveball on us at

563
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 1: the very oo oh. And I'm just kidding, guys. Yes,

564
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. I'm just bested. Of course I want

565
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 1: o Pie to have a happy, healthy relationship, of course

566
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 1: I do.

567
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 2: I'm also thinking about taking the money I got back

568
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 2: from the trip to go somewhere else by myself. Haven't

569
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 2: decided though, Yeah, we're gonna spend that money. Go somewhere fun.

570
00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 1: Go to Sedona, Arizona.

571
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 2: If you want to go somewhere fun, you can go

572
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:07,719
Speaker 2: check out full episodes of stories just like this. Just

573
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 2: go to Spotify, Apple podcast, or iHeartRadio and search up

574
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 2: focused story time. But there is a little bit left

575
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 2: to the story. Any final thoughts.

576
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to think of how you could have

577
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 1: identified Jesse wasn't your friend faster? And I don't know

578
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 1: therapy if there's yeah, sure therapy, speed run therapy, but

579
00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:28,400
Speaker 1: also like you know, before you know that you might

580
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 1: need or want therapy, like like you're like you were saying,

581
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 1: like your roommate like not hanging with you because maybe

582
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:38,119
Speaker 1: Jesse's around. I don't know, I don't know, man, Yeah, dang,

583
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,679
Speaker 1: you gotta like get temperature checks on people around you,

584
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 1: like if you're if if every one of your other

585
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,679
Speaker 1: friends they're all like, I don't know about that person,

586
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 1: like you should maybe go okay, but like, what is

587
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,639
Speaker 1: it about that person that makes everyone else I know

588
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 1: kind of back away?

589
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 2: I think that issue here was it doesn't seem like

590
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 2: OHP had any other friends that were separate from like,

591
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 2: you know, like I think they were all in a

592
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:06,679
Speaker 2: similar friend group, in which case, if Jesse's already in

593
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:11,160
Speaker 2: that friend group, it's probably because these people either ignore

594
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,879
Speaker 2: her bad traits or agree with the bad traits, you know,

595
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 2: and so OPI was kind of stuck in that little

596
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 2: echo chamber.

597
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 1: Yes, definitely a hard place to be when you believe

598
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:22,880
Speaker 1: all that.

599
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 2: Anyway, this will be the final update on this since

600
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,159
Speaker 2: it is unlikely that I will have anything new to

601
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:30,400
Speaker 2: add now. I think I just need time to heal

602
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 2: and let go. You know, I might come back in

603
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,120
Speaker 2: a few months if there's a reason to do, Like, yay,

604
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 2: life is awesome now post but I wanted to post

605
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 2: this update now because I wanted to end this whole

606
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 2: story on a bright note. And of course, thank you

607
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 2: all again. You are the best. And that is the

608
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 2: end of that story.

609
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 1: Woo woo. If you mean it's I feel like that

610
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: was good. I think take place to end it.

611
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 2: I'm glad that Ope kind of is figuring out what

612
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 2: she deserves and what a true friend is, and hopefully

613
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 2: we'll get that with her roommate. But I think it's

614
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 2: just yeah, keep going to therapy, keep an eye out

615
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 2: for red flags and your your friendships. Yeah, and if

616
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 2: anyone ever makes you feel like you are being done

617
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:23,320
Speaker 2: a favor by them being your friend, that's probably not

618
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,479
Speaker 2: a good friendship. Yeah, no one is doing you a

619
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:26,720
Speaker 2: favor by being your friend.

620
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: You're like, you're so lucky that I'd like let you

621
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 1: hang around. Yeah, because ugh, people would treat you so bad.

622
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 1: It's like you're already being treated like the worst you

623
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 1: could be treated right there.

624
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, friendship should be It's a friendship is a mutually

625
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 2: beneficial relationship. It's not supposed to be parasitic.

626
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 1: I guess it didn't become noticeable to OP until they

627
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 1: started dating.

628
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, once you actively try to steal her boyfriend.

629
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 1: When your friends start making jokes that they're going to

630
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 1: steal your partner, probably time to end that friendship. And

631
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 1: it's not a joke. Yeah, I don't know if I

632
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 1: would be hanging out with that person again.

633
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:09,480
Speaker 2: Agreed, Agreed mn oh Man. Cadence Hendrick says, don't be

634
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 2: with people who only harm you and you only give

635
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 2: love and support. It's not where that agreed, but that

636
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 2: is the end of that story.

637
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 1: John here og host. We're gonna get back to these stories,

638
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break from hops from our sponsors.

639
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 2: My boyfriend's friend confessed his feelings to him. It made

640
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 2: me uncomfortable. Valid reaction, and I think I'd be pretty

641
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 2: uncomfortable as well.

642
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 1: My twenty six female boyfriend twenty five male has a friend,

643
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: let's call him Dave, who has expressed his feelings for him.

644
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 1: This is going to be a really long post, so sorry.

645
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 1: In advance. To give some background, Dave is a work

646
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 1: colleague and they've been friends for a while. Dave is

647
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 1: openly attracted to the same gender, and we've met several

648
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 1: times and I never had any problems with him. We

649
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: seem to get along quite well. By the way, this

650
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 1: comes from user expert advantage nine three five and if

651
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

652
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 1: r slash Okay Storytime. So about it. So this all

653
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:09,479
Speaker 1: started a few months ago. Dave and my boyfriend live

654
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 1: on the same road, and after a night out with

655
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 1: his work colleagues, they were dropped off together at Dave's house,

656
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 1: where my boyfriend planned to walk home. That night, I

657
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 1: had been messaging my boyfriend before bed. At around three am,

658
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 1: he had messaged me saying he was on his way home.

659
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 1: I was already asleep by then. The next morning, I

660
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 1: woke up to see the three am message and saw

661
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 1: that just after five am he messaged to say that

662
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: he was home. I found this a little odd since

663
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 1: the place he was going home from was about thirty

664
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 1: minutes away, though I thought maybe he just forgot to reply.

665
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 1: When he woke up, I asked him about his night

666
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 1: and how late he got home. He told me that

667
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 1: his whole work crew was being dropped off in the

668
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 1: same uber, so it took him about an hour to

669
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 1: get back. But this confused me even more because that

670
00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 1: wouldn't explain the five am message. I asked if he

671
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: ended up doing afters at Dave's house, but he said

672
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 1: no and just left it at that. He didn't even

673
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: say he forgot to message or anything to explain the

674
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 1: missing hour.

675
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 2: I've recently learned about the concept of afters because I

676
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 2: didn't really know, Like I didn't know that there were

677
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 2: like afters bars and like places and stuff until one

678
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 2: of our mutual friends told me that she stayed out

679
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 2: until eight am going to multiple after.

680
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 1: My God, I was like, what sounds like my worst nightmare? Yeah, late,

681
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 1: you know latest too. I found all this a bit strange,

682
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 1: but I left it alone, even though his responses were

683
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 1: a little out of character and I could tell he

684
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 1: wasn't telling me something. The next date night we had,

685
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 1: he finally let it slip that he wasn't telling me

686
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 1: everything about that night. He told me that while he

687
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 1: was walking home, Dave, who had already gone home since

688
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: the uber dropped them at his house, suddenly started running

689
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: after him. God bless Sophia. He told me that Dave

690
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 1: said he's had strong feelings for him for who knows

691
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 1: how long, and that he was interested in starting something

692
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 1: with him. I really am giggling to myself imagining him

693
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 1: saying this, Wow, he's had a dead spring down the

694
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 1: streets come back.

695
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

696
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,480
Speaker 1: I didn't get home until five because I was running

697
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 1: away from this guy.

698
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 2: Like, we've read stories where people confess feelings to a

699
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 2: person in a relationship, and.

700
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 1: I mean, like, I don't think a drunken running after

701
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 1: someone at two in the morning after they've been dropped

702
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 1: off at your house is.

703
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 2: A good I think there are ways to express that

704
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 2: you have feelings for someone who is in a relationship

705
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 2: that is respectful, where you say it like, hey, I

706
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 2: need to talk to you. I think we need to

707
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 2: create some distance. I've had these feelings for you, but

708
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 2: I know that you're in a relationship and it's hurting

709
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 2: me to watch you be in this relationship. So I

710
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 2: think we need to create some disc like you could

711
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,879
Speaker 2: say in a respectful way. Problem, I don't know if

712
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 2: this is the way to say this is not the way.

713
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is that you know, at

714
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,399
Speaker 1: a at a sprint in the middle of the night,

715
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 1: chasing after someone is not the way to say almost anything. No,

716
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 1: except like get down, you're like watch out, or like

717
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 1: the aliens are coming.

718
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 2: Like that's those are the only acceptable ones.

719
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 1: That you can say. He told me that Dave said

720
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:37,880
Speaker 1: he's had strong feelings for him for who knows how long,

721
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,760
Speaker 1: and that he was interested in starting something with him.

722
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 1: My boyfriend said that he was really in shock and

723
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 1: reminded him that he was straight and has a girlfriend

724
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 1: who he's met. Dave asked if any part of him

725
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 1: would be interested in trying anything, and my boyfriend said no.

726
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 1: I wasn't extremely annoyed by this story, other than being

727
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 1: a bit bothered that he tried to proposition him that night.

728
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 1: But I asked him why he wouldn't just tell me

729
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 1: that this happened, rather than keeping it a secret for

730
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 1: a few days. He said he thought I might get upset,

731
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:11,840
Speaker 1: and when I asked him why I would be upset,

732
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 1: he ended up adding more to the story. Apparently, while

733
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:18,359
Speaker 1: Dave was making this declaration of love, he was also

734
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 1: taking the opportunity to bad mouth me. Ooo.

735
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 2: Yeah wow, really really not doing a good job there, buddy.

736
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:31,440
Speaker 1: Dave doesn't know me extremely well, but like I said before,

737
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: our interactions at that point had been pleasant. He was

738
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,839
Speaker 1: telling my boyfriend that I do not deserve him and

739
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,760
Speaker 1: he could do much better than me. Amongst other things,

740
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 1: this of course, did upset me and I felt extremely disrespected.

741
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:48,279
Speaker 1: Not only did he try and convince my boyfriend to

742
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,440
Speaker 1: cheat on me, but the stuff he was saying was

743
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:54,759
Speaker 1: extremely insulting. Dave and my boyfriend ended up having an

744
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 1: hour long conversation in the rain. He jokingly referred to

745
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 1: it as the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for him.

746
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 1: This was their notebook. Oh yeah, dam just runs up

747
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,800
Speaker 1: and he's like, your girlfriend's trash, your girlfriend, don't stay

748
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:13,320
Speaker 1: with that man. Your girlfriend's trash became with me. Yeah,

749
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,359
Speaker 1: he said, no, Dave, I'm sorry, I'll see I'll see

750
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 1: you at work. And I like my girlfriend.

751
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:22,719
Speaker 2: I think if someone confessed feelings in that way, I

752
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,439
Speaker 2: wouldn't want to be friends with them.

753
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:28,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think or I would at least like push back.

754
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 2: If someone not only confessed feelings then said let's just

755
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:36,480
Speaker 2: cheat together then bad mouthed my partner, I'd.

756
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 1: Be like, oh yeah, yeah, not that not the best vibe. No,

757
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 1: not the best vibe for a friendship being maintained. You

758
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 1: know it's not. But he works to this guy. Yeah,

759
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 1: so it's like, you got to keep it professionally.

760
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 2: You can keep it professional while also keep in a distance.

761
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, there's I have so many co workers I

762
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 1: don't even remember their names. I vaguely remember their faces.

763
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 1: Oh that you meant not here? I was like not

764
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:07,919
Speaker 1: he no, like coworkers of Christmas past. Sure. I don't

765
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 1: really know how much my boyfriend defended me or made

766
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: it clear that this type of dialogue isn't okay with him.

767
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 1: He definitely shut it down, though, and since then I

768
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: felt very uncomfortable with my boyfriend and Dave's relationship her friendship.

769
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 1: I don't want to be the type of girlfriend that

770
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 1: has a problem with any of her boyfriend's friends, but

771
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 1: I really felt like Dave had crossed a line. Still,

772
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:30,839
Speaker 1: they are constantly together because they work with each other,

773
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 1: and my boyfriend spends a lot of time with his

774
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:36,839
Speaker 1: work colleagues on days off, et cetera. The problem is

775
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 1: that as time goes on, it's getting to me more

776
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 1: and more. Yesterday I posted about my boyfriend having made

777
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 1: plans with his friends, the work colleagues, on our anniversary. Basically,

778
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 1: they are planning to play D and D and Dave

779
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 1: went over to my boyfriend's place yesterday at six point

780
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 1: thirty to create his character. Since my boyfriend's never played before.

781
00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 1: My boyfriend had made it seem like there was a

782
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 1: group who were going to help make his character, but

783
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 1: it turned out to just be Dave. I only realize

784
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 1: this because we were on FaceTime and Dave rang the

785
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: bell while we were on call.

786
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 2: To clarify, is this after the confession or yes, okay,

787
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 2: post this post confession, give it?

788
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 1: What do you? What are your thoughts on on that? Mmmm?

789
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 1: For the boyfriend and.

790
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 2: Dave, I mean, obviously the boyfriend's like nothing, Well, we

791
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 2: don't know. Obviously currently with our current knowledge that the

792
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 2: boyfriend is straight, it doesn't seem like anything is going

793
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:34,719
Speaker 2: to happen. However, I think if I were in this situation,

794
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 2: I would create at least some distance, Like I want

795
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:40,360
Speaker 2: to hang out more.

796
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:42,800
Speaker 1: In group sessions for a certain amount of time. Yeah,

797
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:45,960
Speaker 1: probably not like a one on one like making your

798
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:49,399
Speaker 1: D and D character. Yeah. I'm also concerned that it's

799
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:53,359
Speaker 1: on your anniversary, like and she's missed that playing. It's

800
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 1: on the anniversary, and I don't think OP is invited

801
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 1: to play. Oh, so like this could have been a

802
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: thing where it's like Dave is helping Ope and boyfriend

803
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 1: make their character. No, This is just he's literally being

804
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,239
Speaker 1: excluded on their anniversary.

805
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 2: And the thing is, this is no longer like ever

806
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 2: all the blames on Dave, the boyfriend chose to do that.

807
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:19,839
Speaker 2: That is not an emergency that could be done any day.

808
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 1: Well, I do, I do wonder like because op saying

809
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 1: how over time this whole situation with Dave has been

810
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,759
Speaker 1: making her more and more uncomfortable. Yeah, but if you

811
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 1: haven't said that, yeah, and your fatner doesn't know, so

812
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:36,920
Speaker 1: you have to express that you've become uncomfortable. Absolutely, it is.

813
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 2: It is a red flag that your boyfriend didn't know

814
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,480
Speaker 2: without you telling him that he shouldn't be hanging out

815
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,839
Speaker 2: with another person on your anniversary.

816
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 1: That, Yeah, that's that's crazy. Is like, you can't be

817
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 1: making plans to play D and D on our anniversary

818
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 1: wild because he had abruptly hung up. So I only

819
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 1: realized Dave was going to be here because we were

820
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 1: on FaceTime and Dave rang the bell while we were

821
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: on call because he had abruptly hung up the phone

822
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 1: on me. He told me he would call me back

823
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,560
Speaker 1: later when Dave left and made it seem like he

824
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:09,120
Speaker 1: wouldn't be long. Well, it gets to midnight and my

825
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:12,400
Speaker 1: boyfriend still didn't call my message to ask whether he

826
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,399
Speaker 1: was free yet, and he said that Dave's still there

827
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,400
Speaker 1: and they're having some drinks, which is you should.

828
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:20,280
Speaker 2: Whatever, you know if Okay, now, I'm kind of getting

829
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:22,720
Speaker 2: the vibe that maybe the boyfriend is like a little

830
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 2: bit by or by curious or something. But if he

831
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 2: is straight kind of rude to Dave, you know, like

832
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 2: like Dave kind of sucks because of how he approached

833
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 2: the soul situation. But if you know someone likes you

834
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,800
Speaker 2: and like apparently has liked you for a very long time,

835
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 2: and then after that confession, you start hanging out with

836
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:49,919
Speaker 2: them more one on one on your partner in yours anniversary,

837
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 2: that makes signals.

838
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 1: I don't think it's on the anniversary yet, Okay, yesterday, well,

839
00:40:56,040 --> 00:41:00,319
Speaker 1: I mean still this is yeah, it's still this is

840
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 1: for the D and D session that's planned to happen

841
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 1: on their anniversary. Is crazy, So it's not their anniversary. Yees,

842
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:09,239
Speaker 1: it's not their anniversary yet. But you know, I think

843
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 1: there's like a weird little dance that you can do

844
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 1: where it's like sometimes this kind of situation happens, It's

845
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 1: like you can provide space but like in the context

846
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 1: of we're going to be working together, it's like it's

847
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:24,840
Speaker 1: kind of unavoidable then, so then maybe the technique is like,

848
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 1: all right, well, instead of providing space, let's just like

849
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 1: try to go back to normal, see, like as fast

850
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 1: as possible so that it doesn't become like a weird

851
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 1: gap thing where it's like, now the energy's off because

852
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 1: you confess that thing and I needed my space, and

853
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 1: it's like instead of you know, if he's just like

854
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 1: I literally don't even care because I'm just not into

855
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 1: you and your dave and you're my friend, you had

856
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,719
Speaker 1: to crush on me whatever, it's not happening. So he's

857
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 1: trying to just the normalcy. Yeah, he's just like the

858
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 1: friendship that or it could be or maybe he's bi curious.

859
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 1: But it's like there's so many you know, there's not

860
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 1: necessarily one way to go about this kind of complay.

861
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 1: Like someone confessed their feelings to you and you work

862
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 1: with them. Don't play D and D on your anniversary

863
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 1: you do this. Don't unless your girlfriend's involved in your

864
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:14,440
Speaker 1: girlfriends do that your goofball. Come on, because I had work,

865
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 1: I ended up just going to bed and said we

866
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 1: would call tomorrow, which is today, and today we called.

867
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:24,319
Speaker 1: My boyfriend told me that he is extremely hungover and

868
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 1: that Dave stayed until about four am last night. I

869
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 1: asked him what happened since it wasn't meant to be

870
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 1: a big night, and he said they were initially drinking

871
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,400
Speaker 1: beers but then moved to Margarita's and lost track of time.

872
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 2: That's but that's yeah, this is not This is not

873
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 2: the way that you approach trying to become friends.

874
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 1: Again, buddy, that's a line from the city.

875
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:48,600
Speaker 2: This is that. This is like if he is a

876
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 2: straight man, then this is just kind of cruel.

877
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 1: Yeah that he doesn't sound like James is trying to reset. No,

878
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,960
Speaker 1: like not at all. Yeah, Margarita's, we stow. We were

879
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 1: drinking beer. We just lost track of time once the

880
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:06,240
Speaker 1: Margaritas got broken out. And this is they're doing this alone?

881
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:07,359
Speaker 2: Wait?

882
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,040
Speaker 1: Was this? How many people are in this D and

883
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: D session? Just them? Well, character planning, but it's one

884
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 1: on one? Oh whoa, I don't yeah, which.

885
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 2: I mean like usually if this is your DM, like

886
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,800
Speaker 2: that is a thing that happens. I think you do

887
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 2: have one on one character planning. But I wouldn't do

888
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:27,240
Speaker 2: that with Dave.

889
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 1: This is getting more and more sus at. Every sentence

890
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 1: is getting more suss. So I asked what they were

891
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 1: doing all that time, literally nine and a half hours.

892
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 1: He said that it took them three hours to make

893
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:43,359
Speaker 1: his D and D character, and after that, Dave asked

894
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 1: him to teach him how to DJ, because my boyfriend

895
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:50,239
Speaker 1: makes music and DJs. It didn't say anything further than

896
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:53,400
Speaker 1: just asking him what happened last night, and he'll be

897
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:56,279
Speaker 1: seeing Dave again tonight for the D and D thing.

898
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 2: And then they did the ghost thing but with DJs.

899
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 1: What do you mean? The movie goes, Oh, yeah, they

900
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:05,880
Speaker 1: were doing the ghost with DJs. Yeah you know. And

901
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 1: then what Yeah.

902
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 2: Now you can see me playing with the trash can

903
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 2: and the live shot.

904
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 1: Yes, now you can see what she's doing with her

905
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:17,360
Speaker 1: feet all the time, all the time. Yes, this entire

906
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 1: situation has seriously bothered me. All me insecure, but I'm

907
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,840
Speaker 1: not comfortable with my boyfriend spending one on one alone

908
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:28,280
Speaker 1: time all night with anyone who has expressed deep feelings

909
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 1: for him, let alone someone who completely disrespected me, in

910
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 1: order to try and convince my boyfriend to get with him.

911
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,320
Speaker 1: Oh that's something I didn't even think about the bad mouthing.

912
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 1: I know. That's why I didn't even think about that.

913
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 2: That's what I've been saying. That's why I'm like, all

914
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:43,799
Speaker 2: of this closeness is really weird. When this guy has

915
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:45,800
Speaker 2: been bad mouthing your partner.

916
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is that is super weird.

917
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:50,319
Speaker 2: Like did it doesn't even seem like he kind of

918
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 2: set any boundaries there. And again, if he's straight, then

919
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:57,879
Speaker 2: Dave's just thinking, oh well, he doesn't care. Oh well

920
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:00,080
Speaker 2: he's into me because he's spending all this time with me.

921
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 1: Dave's saying, I'm slowly chipping away at the defense.

922
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, certainly, Sunshine is if Dave were a woman, there

923
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:07,359
Speaker 2: will be no question that.

924
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,360
Speaker 1: This is wrong. Yeah that is. That is uh.

925
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:12,919
Speaker 2: Like again, I don't really think it matters if Dave

926
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 2: likes sorry, if an Opie's boyfriend likes Dave or not,

927
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 2: because I think that he is being disrespectful regardless.

928
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 1: I know that my boyfriend is not attracted to the

929
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 1: same gender, hundred percent sure about that?

930
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 2: Do we know?

931
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:30,959
Speaker 1: Do we really know anything? Do we really know anything

932
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 1: about anyone? Do we know nothing? Do you know what?

933
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:36,799
Speaker 2: That's what my dad asked my ex the first time

934
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,960
Speaker 2: he met him, he went, what do you know? Then

935
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 2: he broke up with me a week later, so I.

936
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 1: Think, ask, So, I know that my boyfriend is not

937
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 1: attracted to the same gender, But to me, I feel

938
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 1: just the same as I would feel had it been

939
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,479
Speaker 1: a girl who was interested in him. Even if nothing

940
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 1: is going to happen. It feels like he's entertaining someone's

941
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:01,800
Speaker 1: interest a great, particularly so someone who clearly doesn't respect

942
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 1: our relationship.

943
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 2: Great.

944
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 1: Should I speak to my boyfriend about this? What would

945
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:07,240
Speaker 1: I even say?

946
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,839
Speaker 2: You would say, Hey, dude, you're spending a lot of

947
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 2: time with Dave, who bad mouthed me and confessed his

948
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:18,359
Speaker 2: feelings to you, and I think that you're sending him

949
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:22,239
Speaker 2: mixed signals and you're also sending me mixed signals.

950
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 1: Well, I think I'm just like super straight and I

951
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:25,440
Speaker 1: like playing D and D.

952
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:29,960
Speaker 2: But Dave doesn't know that Dave thinks you like him

953
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:34,240
Speaker 2: now because you're spending nine hours with him drinking margs

954
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:35,720
Speaker 2: spicy Mark.

955
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 1: No, I think I said things pretty straight when I

956
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 1: told him to stop slam dunking you every time he

957
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:42,759
Speaker 1: talked about you to me, And did you act I

958
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 1: was straight? But that you know was the margheritas came out,

959
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 1: and I'll admit it got a little squiggly, Thank go.

960
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 2: A little squiggily When the spicy mugs come out, things

961
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:55,480
Speaker 2: get a little spicy.

962
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 1: Lost track of time before I am before onto it. Oh, okay,

963
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: so here's the update, right, update time, hey's John og host.

964
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:04,799
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick

965
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:07,480
Speaker 1: free minute break of ads from our sponsors. My boyfriend

966
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 1: called me immediately after he got home from the D

967
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:14,440
Speaker 1: and D game, which is on their anniversary by the way, right, Yeah,

968
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,799
Speaker 1: and I just got straight into it with him. By

969
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,080
Speaker 1: the time he got home, I was already stewing after

970
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,640
Speaker 1: reading everyone's perspectives on the situation, and I think I

971
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 1: shocked him with how forceful I was from the get go.

972
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 1: We've not really had arguments like that before. I started

973
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 1: by saying I'm uncomfortable with the fact that Dave stayed

974
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:35,359
Speaker 1: over until four am one on one with him and

975
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 1: they got wasted. He seemed surprised and completely oblivious that

976
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 1: it would bother me to this level, and he asked

977
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:44,040
Speaker 1: me to explain why I was feeling this way. I

978
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:46,759
Speaker 1: told him that it's totally unacceptable that he and Dave

979
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:50,440
Speaker 1: spent basically the whole night together, when Dave has actively

980
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:53,479
Speaker 1: tried to sleep with him and disrespected me and our

981
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 1: relationship in the process. I told him that he needs

982
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:58,840
Speaker 1: to have boundaries with Dave, given all that's happened. His

983
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,239
Speaker 1: response to this was that Dave said these things a

984
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:03,879
Speaker 1: couple of months ago, and that he doesn't think Dave

985
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 1: still fancies him like that, or ever really did. He

986
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 1: basically said that Dave was super wasted when he made

987
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 1: his admission, but it wasn't that serious, especially since he's

988
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:16,280
Speaker 1: not attracted to this same gender or curious and doesn't

989
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:19,520
Speaker 1: reciprocate Dave's feelings at all. I told him that whether

990
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 1: he took it seriously or not, the whole situation was

991
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 1: serious to me and that I feel extremely disrespected by

992
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:30,640
Speaker 1: both of them. Now Op has finally said exactly how

993
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:34,879
Speaker 1: she's feeling good, So at this point now we're gonna

994
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,200
Speaker 1: find out if boyfriend's making the right did the cool

995
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:39,840
Speaker 1: guy move yeah, or are they're not so cool guy.

996
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:45,320
Speaker 2: Move or the mean stinky boy move the MSB MSB

997
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 2: stinky boy. I told him if this was a girl.

998
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:51,560
Speaker 1: Who admitted her feelings for him and they stayed up

999
00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:54,839
Speaker 1: together one on one until four am. I would immediately

1000
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:58,080
Speaker 1: think something sketchy's going on, because you don't entertain someone

1001
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:00,799
Speaker 1: like that when you're in a relationship. Just because Dave

1002
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 1: is a boy, that doesn't make it okay, and he

1003
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:05,719
Speaker 1: should still have the same boundaries he would for a

1004
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 1: girl who says she's into him, propositions him, and talks

1005
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 1: crap about me. He didn't really agree with this argument

1006
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 1: because he said it's different. In that scenario, there is

1007
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:18,880
Speaker 1: a chance of attraction or spicy related activity, but with

1008
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 1: Dave there is not. I told him that in any

1009
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:25,400
Speaker 1: situation with anyone, there's that chance, regardless if he considers

1010
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 1: himself straight. How am I meant to trust that things

1011
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 1: wouldn't happen when Dave has already expressed his desire to

1012
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:35,680
Speaker 1: have this spicy sleep with him and they were very

1013
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:38,359
Speaker 1: wasted and alone together. I think if you're not gay,

1014
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 1: you know it. If you are gay, you know it.

1015
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 1: So if your boyfriend is like cause it is different,

1016
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 1: It's like if it was a girl and he's straight,

1017
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:50,800
Speaker 1: then it's like, well, yeah, I could end up doing

1018
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 1: something with her, because that is a thing that could happen. Yeah,

1019
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 1: but with Dave, it's like, I'm not gay, so that's

1020
00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:02,600
Speaker 1: just but it's more to me. I would have hit

1021
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:06,200
Speaker 1: more on like, I think I think it was the

1022
00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 1: wrong argy.

1023
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that Op was trying to get the

1024
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:13,080
Speaker 2: same result, but just using the wrong argument here. The

1025
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:16,319
Speaker 2: argument I think should have been he talked bad about me,

1026
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 2: active about us, our relationship, he actively wants to sleep

1027
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 2: with you.

1028
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 1: It's a principal thing, not the fact that it's like

1029
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:27,480
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can trust you. It's yeah, no,

1030
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 1: Like I.

1031
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 2: Know I can trust you because we're in a relationship,

1032
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 2: and if I couldn't, then I wouldn't be in a

1033
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:32,399
Speaker 2: relationship with you.

1034
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,400
Speaker 1: I don't like Dave.

1035
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:36,879
Speaker 2: I don't like how he treats me, like he talks

1036
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 2: about me, he talks about us.

1037
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 1: Uh.

1038
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:45,759
Speaker 2: And if you keep it's just you're sending him a message.

1039
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:51,360
Speaker 2: Whether it's you know that you're interested, not saying that

1040
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:53,399
Speaker 2: he is, but like, whether it's you're interested or you're

1041
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 2: okay with him talking bad about us, you're sending that

1042
00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:58,680
Speaker 2: message with.

1043
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:00,879
Speaker 1: Ugh on it You're like, yeah, I'll let you get

1044
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:02,719
Speaker 1: away with that unless you sit him down. You're like, hey,

1045
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 1: you can't you cannot be saying disparaging stuff about my

1046
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:11,120
Speaker 1: relationship and my girlfriend at all.

1047
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:12,920
Speaker 2: And Lady Morrigan says, I think human sexuality is a

1048
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 2: little bit more fluid than that. Yeah, I don't think

1049
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:16,879
Speaker 2: that you always necessarily know right away, like there are

1050
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:20,799
Speaker 2: situations where people will figure it out. But I think

1051
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:24,760
Speaker 2: in this situation, I think this was the incorrect argument

1052
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:26,520
Speaker 2: for to make. I think she could have said, it's

1053
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:31,120
Speaker 2: disrespectful and you are sending him the wrong message right now.

1054
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,799
Speaker 2: Regardless of what you think about the situation, it's what

1055
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:36,960
Speaker 2: he thinks about the situation right right.

1056
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 1: In what world would I be comfortable with the fact

1057
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:41,719
Speaker 1: that he's chosen to spend one on one time with

1058
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:44,280
Speaker 1: Dave until the early hours of the night, knowing Dave

1059
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:48,880
Speaker 1: has contempt for me and our relationship at the bare minimum,

1060
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:52,000
Speaker 1: He's showing Dave that it's okay to disrespect us and

1061
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:54,960
Speaker 1: that Dave still has his attention after all of this,

1062
00:51:55,360 --> 00:51:59,080
Speaker 1: potentially leading Dave on since he has a spicy attraction

1063
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:03,000
Speaker 1: towards Mob. I agree, Yes, I feel like that's exactly

1064
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 1: what we just aid. Yes, he told me he understands

1065
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 1: my point of view, but it wasn't like that and

1066
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 1: he didn't plan to have Dave stay that late. Anyway,

1067
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,279
Speaker 1: I asked him to take me through the entire night

1068
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 1: and explain to me why they would need to hang

1069
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:18,399
Speaker 1: out for almost ten hours. And I will say, as

1070
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 1: someone who's made D and D characters, he can it

1071
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:24,840
Speaker 1: can be a lot. Absolutely, It's it's a long process. Absolutely.

1072
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:26,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you want like a really good D and

1073
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 2: D character, it can be a full thing. But I mean,

1074
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:32,360
Speaker 2: even just like the session, it could be four hours.

1075
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:34,279
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well I just think I think half of

1076
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 1: this time was probably Marcurita time. Yeah, well, they know,

1077
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:37,759
Speaker 1: but they said that.

1078
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 2: They said the first three hours was character creation and

1079
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 2: the next hours were Marguerite's.

1080
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:46,080
Speaker 1: Which they probably undersold it. I bet it was five hours.

1081
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 1: He said that when Dave came over, they worked on

1082
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 1: his D and D character and Dave explained how to

1083
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:54,360
Speaker 1: play for about three hours, and they were having a

1084
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:57,080
Speaker 1: couple of beers until Dave asked for something else to drink.

1085
00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:00,160
Speaker 1: Then they facetimed another coworker who was hosting the D

1086
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:02,759
Speaker 1: and D event and stayed on call for like two

1087
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:05,000
Speaker 1: hours or more. Apparently it went from D and D

1088
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 1: conversation to gossip about work. He said after that he

1089
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 1: was showing Dave the music he's made and how to

1090
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:12,239
Speaker 1: produce and DJ, and they just lost track of time.

1091
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:14,360
Speaker 1: I asked him how he could lose track of so

1092
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:16,800
Speaker 1: much time When I was messaging him at eleven pm

1093
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 1: to say good night. He knew what time it was

1094
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:21,399
Speaker 1: at that point, so why wasn't Dave on his way

1095
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:24,120
Speaker 1: out by then? I told him the whole thing was sketchy,

1096
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 1: which he took slight offense to, asking me what I'm

1097
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 1: trying to insinuate and saying it seems like I don't

1098
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,680
Speaker 1: trust him. He said, in terms of the lateness, he

1099
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 1: honestly doesn't know how that happened, and that he was

1100
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:36,440
Speaker 1: shocked when he checked the time and asked Dave to

1101
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 1: leave as soon as he realized. He said he didn't

1102
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:42,040
Speaker 1: ever think this situation was suspicious, and that from his perspective,

1103
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 1: Dave doesn't have feelings for him, so the whole night

1104
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 1: was innocent. They were back to being the same friends

1105
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:50,640
Speaker 1: as they were before Dave's admission. I told him it

1106
00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:54,320
Speaker 1: can never go back, even if he thinks Dave doesn't

1107
00:53:54,360 --> 00:53:57,839
Speaker 1: have ulterior motives. Dave put this out there and that

1108
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:00,920
Speaker 1: can't be taken back. I disagree with that. You disagree

1109
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:03,319
Speaker 1: with that it can't be taken back. I don't. I

1110
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:05,279
Speaker 1: don't think in this I don't think it's being done

1111
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 1: in this situation very well. But I do think that

1112
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:10,080
Speaker 1: there are times where someone can go, hey, I have

1113
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:12,800
Speaker 1: these feelings for you, that you can go ooh, I don't,

1114
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:14,840
Speaker 1: and then you guys can work it out and it

1115
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 1: can go back to normal. I would say, so, I

1116
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 1: don't think that's the case here. I don't think it's

1117
00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:22,400
Speaker 1: happening in this story, but Dave's behavior needs to change,

1118
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,880
Speaker 1: and boundaries need to be put in place. I told

1119
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 1: him that without putting boundaries, he's essentially keeping things open

1120
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:31,640
Speaker 1: from Dave's perspective. He told me that initially, when this

1121
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 1: entire situation happened, he distanced himself from Dave except when

1122
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:38,400
Speaker 1: he was at work or work events or group outings,

1123
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:40,440
Speaker 1: which is a lot of the time, so I'm not

1124
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:43,440
Speaker 1: sure how distant that is. Nevertheless, he said they hadn't

1125
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,640
Speaker 1: met up one on one together for like two months.

1126
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:48,319
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure they have, but I will concede that

1127
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:50,839
Speaker 1: he hasn't told me they've been alone at each other's

1128
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:54,600
Speaker 1: houses since the admission more so just the pub if anything.

1129
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 1: But I could be wrong. He may just not have

1130
00:54:56,960 --> 00:55:00,320
Speaker 1: mentioned another person joining them. I couldn't remember this civic

1131
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:03,879
Speaker 1: occasions where I thought they did, so I couldn't really

1132
00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 1: challenge him on that one anyway. He said their friendship

1133
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:09,839
Speaker 1: was different because he felt awkward, which he didn't make

1134
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 1: clear to me at all. He always seemed like it

1135
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 1: didn't FaZe him at all, and it appeared to me

1136
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:16,400
Speaker 1: that nothing had changed between them. He told me that

1137
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:18,239
Speaker 1: they ended up having a chat a few weeks ago

1138
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:22,000
Speaker 1: where Dave apologized for what he did and told him

1139
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:25,759
Speaker 1: that he didn't mean anything he said. He also said

1140
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,160
Speaker 1: that because it happened a few months ago, he's just

1141
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 1: moved on from it now and decided to forgive and forget.

1142
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,680
Speaker 1: I told him that while he can forgive, he can't

1143
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:38,279
Speaker 1: forget because this has happened now and their friendship has

1144
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:41,080
Speaker 1: to be different going forward for the sake of his

1145
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:45,680
Speaker 1: partner and relationship. I also asked him why he never

1146
00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:48,080
Speaker 1: told me about this talk, and he said he didn't

1147
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:49,759
Speaker 1: think any of this was a big issue for me,

1148
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:51,799
Speaker 1: so it didn't occur to him that this would be

1149
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 1: something i'd want to know, and I can understand that. Yeah,

1150
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:57,000
Speaker 1: because Obie.

1151
00:55:56,560 --> 00:56:01,080
Speaker 2: Never expressed that she was upset until the content where

1152
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:03,160
Speaker 2: she was like, yeah, that was really weird and it's

1153
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:05,759
Speaker 2: for you, and he's like, WHOA, Yeah, I didn't know,

1154
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:09,040
Speaker 2: didn't know, which is why you should express it and

1155
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 2: stuff and you should all that should be out and open.

1156
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:16,600
Speaker 1: But yeah, yes, now it is. Now he's got the

1157
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:19,200
Speaker 1: balls in his court. This then led to us arguing

1158
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:21,719
Speaker 1: about the fact that he doesn't share information with me

1159
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:25,120
Speaker 1: or tells white lies and omits things, including when the

1160
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 1: Dave thing initially happened. I said that I always tell

1161
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,840
Speaker 1: him immediately if anyone makes a pass at me, and

1162
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:35,160
Speaker 1: even used an example of a friend who while called Bill,

1163
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 1: who had touched me in a spicy way the other

1164
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:41,439
Speaker 1: night on a night out and said to my best

1165
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:43,960
Speaker 1: friend that he has feelings for me. When that happened,

1166
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,319
Speaker 1: I literally called my boyfriend the same night while he

1167
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 1: was on holiday, as I knew I would be seeing

1168
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:51,919
Speaker 1: Bill for two upcoming group events, including New Year's Eve,

1169
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:55,200
Speaker 1: both of which I invited my boyfriend too. He tried

1170
00:56:55,239 --> 00:56:58,920
Speaker 1: to deflect by saying he didn't know Bill had verbally

1171
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:01,760
Speaker 1: said he had feelings for me, and that I only

1172
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:04,680
Speaker 1: said that I think Bill has a crush on me,

1173
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 1: insinuating it's the same situation as him and Dave, which

1174
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:10,399
Speaker 1: I thought was ridiculous and told him he's just trying

1175
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:13,640
Speaker 1: to find a loophole for his own behavior. I asked

1176
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:15,439
Speaker 1: him if he would be okay with me and Bill

1177
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:19,440
Speaker 1: spending all night together getting wasted, and he said, obviously not,

1178
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:22,919
Speaker 1: but again, he thinks it's different, especially since the Bill

1179
00:57:22,920 --> 00:57:25,840
Speaker 1: thing happened more recently. I told him, by his logic,

1180
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 1: that means it'll be okay for me to do that

1181
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:30,080
Speaker 1: as long as I wait a couple of weeks or months.

1182
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 1: We continued going back and forth a bit, and he

1183
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:36,720
Speaker 1: apologized for making me feel upset and uncomfortable and said

1184
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 1: that it was never his intention. He just truly thought

1185
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:42,160
Speaker 1: the whole thing with Dave was behind them. He also

1186
00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:45,520
Speaker 1: apologized if he came off as defensive. He said, maybe

1187
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:48,040
Speaker 1: he's been naive, but he really did not believe that

1188
00:57:48,160 --> 00:57:51,080
Speaker 1: Dave still had any feelings for him or ulterior motives

1189
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 1: in spending time.

1190
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:55,439
Speaker 2: With him, which I think that's a little naive. It's

1191
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:59,120
Speaker 2: like a month after he confessed those feelings don't. I mean,

1192
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 2: maybe they leave in part, but they don't completely disappear

1193
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:04,560
Speaker 2: in a month.

1194
00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:09,720
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, And he'd be like, well, Dave, Well, he

1195
00:58:09,800 --> 00:58:12,040
Speaker 1: told me he didn't mean anything he said. I said

1196
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:15,080
Speaker 1: he was he had alcohol and so he didn't mean it.

1197
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:17,160
Speaker 1: Do we really are you gonna trust Dave?

1198
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:17,720
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1199
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:19,960
Speaker 1: He also said the moon is made out of the cheese.

1200
00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:23,000
Speaker 1: He also said that it's become more difficult for him

1201
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:26,640
Speaker 1: now that Dave is his supervisor, because he essentially controls

1202
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 1: all his shifts and holidays, et cetera, and if he

1203
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:32,320
Speaker 1: alienates him it might impact all of that. He asked

1204
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,720
Speaker 1: me if I want him to cut off Dave for good,

1205
00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:37,600
Speaker 1: because he's not sure how he can do that given

1206
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:40,280
Speaker 1: his work situation and the fact that they often do

1207
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:43,440
Speaker 1: group gatherings and events. He said it's kind of sad

1208
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:45,680
Speaker 1: because Dave had been a good friend to him and

1209
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:48,480
Speaker 1: they get along. I told him that if Dave was

1210
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 1: a good friend, he wouldn't have put him in this position,

1211
00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 1: and that all of this was a consequence of what

1212
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 1: Dave did. This isn't something I wanted to happen. I've

1213
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:59,040
Speaker 1: always wanted to have a good relationship with his friends.

1214
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 1: But it's not my fault at the end of the day,

1215
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:05,080
Speaker 1: and he said it's not his fault either. I told

1216
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:08,600
Speaker 1: him that while I'm not okay with them spending alone time,

1217
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:10,920
Speaker 1: I do understand that there's not much he can do

1218
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,200
Speaker 1: to avoid him at work. He told me that he

1219
00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:16,080
Speaker 1: has no problem with doing that or putting more boundaries,

1220
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:19,440
Speaker 1: as he doesn't ever want to disrespect me. He just

1221
00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:22,040
Speaker 1: wasn't aware that this was something that bothered me this much.

1222
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:25,560
Speaker 1: And yeah, now you've expressed it. Wow, we talk about stuff.

1223
00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:29,480
Speaker 2: If anything's bothering you, especially when you're in a relationship, gotta.

1224
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:31,240
Speaker 1: Get that out in the open. Talk to y'all.

1225
00:59:31,360 --> 00:59:34,800
Speaker 2: Pot Your partner isn't a mind reader. Remember that unless

1226
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:37,480
Speaker 2: you're dating a psychic. Unless you're dating a psychic.

1227
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,160
Speaker 1: And even they have their limits, you know. Yeah. He

1228
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:42,920
Speaker 1: also said that since he's looking for a new job,

1229
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:45,800
Speaker 1: he doubts Dave will be in his life to this

1230
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:50,880
Speaker 1: degree much longer. And by the way, you can keep

1231
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,320
Speaker 1: us in your life for as long as you want,

1232
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:56,280
Speaker 1: because you can listen to full episodes with stories like

1233
00:59:56,320 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 1: this on Spotify and iHeartRadio and Apple podcast wherever you

1234
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:04,360
Speaker 1: listen to podcasts. Just search Okay, story time and you

1235
01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:09,880
Speaker 1: have fifty eight consecutive days worth of stories to fill

1236
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:13,080
Speaker 1: your ears. It's true. Wow wow, wow, wow wow. We

1237
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:15,919
Speaker 1: do have a little bit more story here. Freaking let's

1238
01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:18,800
Speaker 1: just rip right into it. Guys. We know the lesson

1239
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:23,320
Speaker 1: speak your mind, speak your truth when it must be spoken, well,

1240
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:26,200
Speaker 1: let it consume you. We did touch on other things

1241
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:28,560
Speaker 1: during this conversation, but we weren't able to get into

1242
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:30,840
Speaker 1: everything as it was about two am at this point

1243
01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:33,440
Speaker 1: and I had work in the morning. We're going to

1244
01:00:33,440 --> 01:00:36,800
Speaker 1: speak more again tonight and hopefully resolve other things, mostly

1245
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:39,920
Speaker 1: about how I feel I'm being treated after some comments

1246
01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:42,720
Speaker 1: on the OG thread brought this to my attention again,

1247
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:44,840
Speaker 1: I want to thank everyone for their input. I don't

1248
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:46,680
Speaker 1: think I would have been brave enough to discuss this

1249
01:00:46,760 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 1: if most of you didn't validate my feelings. Dang, that's

1250
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:53,920
Speaker 1: kind of crazy and that's the end of the story. Guys.

1251
01:00:54,040 --> 01:00:57,200
Speaker 1: You don't if you're feeling something, say it to the

1252
01:00:57,640 --> 01:00:59,040
Speaker 1: relevant parties.

1253
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:04,480
Speaker 2: The flame of your inner discontentment will consume you unless

1254
01:01:04,520 --> 01:01:09,160
Speaker 2: you douse them with the water of truth. English Major

1255
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:11,479
Speaker 2: just came up with that on the dome.

1256
01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:15,680
Speaker 1: Yes, because she's talented looking up with that on the dome. Wow.

1257
01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 1: And that's for all of you everyone. Yeah, that's all.

1258
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:21,440
Speaker 1: I was going to say something that got blown right

1259
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:26,840
Speaker 1: out of my head, blown right out of a head anyway, Yes,

1260
01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:30,640
Speaker 1: express yourself, express yourself. Wow. Not only is that the

1261
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:32,000
Speaker 1: end of the story, is the end of the episode.

1262
01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:32,240
Speaker 2: Wow.

1263
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:35,160
Speaker 1: We time goes fast. If you love us, make sure

1264
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:38,280
Speaker 1: you subscribe. We love you and see it a world