WEBVTT - Episode 137: Living Single (Feat. Erika Alexander & Eric Bellinger) 0:00:03.920 --> 0:00:06.840 All right. We are so excited because okay, let me 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:09.560 get started. It's lip Service. I'm Anti Lay, I'm Stephanie Santiago, 0:00:09.640 --> 0:00:12.080 I'm G. G. Maguire, I'm Glauria and we have a 0:00:12.160 --> 0:00:16.200 super extra, super duper special guest. Erica Alexander is here 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:18.639 with us. Great to be here, Thank you, So great 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:20.799 to happen. She was really gonna do this because she 0:00:20.880 --> 0:00:23.720 came on the breakfast and I was like, you know, 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:25.759 we gotta get you on live service. And I don't 0:00:25.760 --> 0:00:28.880 know if she really I had no idea. Yeah, but 0:00:29.120 --> 0:00:31.040 I'm glad to be here. Actually, you know what I mean, 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:34.519 very bighted. I don't know. You guys are who I 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:37.840 want to be, so I'll learn something. No, we're hoping 0:00:37.840 --> 0:00:44.920 to learn some stuff from you. Good luck, so Erica. 0:00:45.159 --> 0:00:48.440 I mean, you've had such an illustrious career. Thank you 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:52.120 as an actor, producer, everything that you've been doing. Of course, 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:54.440 everybody was excited that you were coming in here. Cousin 0:00:54.520 --> 0:01:01.680 Pam Maxine from Living made a lot of women want 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:06.440 to become attorneys. Watch I watch listen, I watch it 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:08.560 in the morning. It comes on in the morning right now. 0:01:08.640 --> 0:01:13.000 I watch it in the morning. Morning No, I got 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:14.679 my daughter. I have a twenty one year old daughter. 0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:17.600 I got her watching it. She loves it. The fact 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:21.120 that you say twenty one daughter is to be fabulous. No. No, 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:23.280 the reason I don't watch it is when I catch it, 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:25.560 I'm really happy to see it. I'll let you know. 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:27.200 I mean, but I think I was telling you on 0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:29.520 the Breakfast Club that we didn't get to watch it 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:31.920 as we were doing it all those years because we 0:01:32.000 --> 0:01:34.240 filmed on the same night they would play, and the 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:36.760 people did have VHS and you could record it, but 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:38.600 you're most likely you didn't. And by the time the 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:41.199 network gave us all of the tapes, it just seemed 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:43.080 like it was a tremendous strain to look at five 0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:45.800 years of shows, and by that time we were moving 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:48.560 to DVD, the TV c d s and all this stuff. 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:50.520 I was filmed in front of a live studio audience. 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:52.080 We did, We did. It was like doing a live 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:58.600 play every every day. Not really certainty, discipline, and you 0:01:58.640 --> 0:02:00.840 had to have your memory, you know, really you know, 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:02.720 sort of geared up when you come out of high school, 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:04.840 which most of us were coming out of high school. 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:07.400 You your your brain actually functions that way. Because you 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:11.120 used to memorizing test dancers and all that age. It's 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:13.880 just when you get older that that skill set you 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:16.600 have kind of goes away and you might panic a bit. 0:02:16.639 --> 0:02:18.000 But the truth is it can be built up like 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:24.480 a muscle, especially when you smoke. Sometimes conversation and I'm like, wait, 0:02:26.840 --> 0:02:28.320 I think at my phone, I'd be like what was 0:02:28.320 --> 0:02:32.440 I about to All the time, I'll bend my right hand, 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:37.239 like where is my phone? Kind of my head your hand? 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:40.079 All right? So did you have a lot of groupies? 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:43.480 Because I'm so sure that back, you know, and even 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:47.120 now because everybody's always excited to see you. But when 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:49.520 everything was happening, did you have like a lot of 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:52.200 dudes trying to higl at you just to get some cloud? 0:02:52.520 --> 0:02:54.240 You know, I'd love to say that that was the case. 0:02:54.720 --> 0:02:57.600 It wasn't, And you know, I wonder about that now 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:00.200 looking back, I think I'm relieved, but I don't think 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.120 I gave out that vibe at all. You know, some 0:03:02.160 --> 0:03:05.520 people think that you can play a character and the 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:08.480 personally quits the character to you. So they like Max 0:03:08.520 --> 0:03:11.080 and they like her, you know, her strongness and all that, 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:13.400 but then when they see you, they're not sure how 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:15.079 to take you. And I think they were very afraid 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:17.600 of Max. They were very afraid of her dark skin, 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:21.200 her you know, her her locks all that. So when 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:23.200 they see me, that's what they give me, sort of 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:25.680 just like a little space and how are you doing? 0:03:25.760 --> 0:03:27.560 And so I didn't get asked on dates at all. 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:32.919 I didn't get proposed to nobody. I got married, but 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:37.480 I did. I got married to the second man I 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:40.640 ever dated. Yeah, because I didn't date either. I'm a 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:44.080 preacher's daughter. And sometimes you also take in and I'm 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:46.520 not very religious and wasn't then, but sometimes what you 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:48.560 do is you take in a sort of a thing 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:52.360 about sex and promiscuous that it's gonna kill your dreams 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:54.040 and even kill you. I grew up in the eighties 0:03:54.080 --> 0:03:56.560 where you not you weren't getting nearroties, you were going 0:03:56.640 --> 0:03:58.760 to die from AIDS. And then all the girls that 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:01.040 went to school, because I went too for girls high 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:04.120 school for girls in Philadelphia, that if you got pregnant 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:05.880 at all, or you got himed up with some man, 0:04:06.120 --> 0:04:09.360 it would absolutely divert you from the thing that they 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:11.280 were training you for, which was to go into the 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:14.200 world and make a difference. So you avoided sex and 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:16.360 men like it was the plague. How did you learn 0:04:16.400 --> 0:04:18.320 about sex? Then? You know, my mother gave me a 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:20.279 book and gave us all a book when we were younger, 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:22.400 and really showed us the mechanisms. I mean it really 0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:24.840 didn't so I didn't have any you know, I knew 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:27.039 what sex was all about, but I didn't know what 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:31.080 sexuality was about, and um, sort of giving yourself over 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:34.520 to it and enjoying it. That I think I learned, 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:36.320 Like a lot of people offer looking at movies and 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:38.760 films and TV and women talking about I look at 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:41.039 the housewives now, I mean I don't look at it 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:44.159 all the time, but sometimes I'm so fascinated by them 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:47.120 and their their ability to be free like that. There 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:49.760 was no way that I could feel free enough to 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:52.200 talk about half the things that they're just doing and 0:04:52.240 --> 0:04:55.640 not feel And this is no disrespect like a whore, right, 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:58.200 And that's my list. Service is kind of about this podcast. 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:00.400 It's kind of like we gotta have these kinds about 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:02.960 sex because men are having sex, they can discuss it. 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:04.640 It's not a problem. Women should be able to do 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:07.760 the same thing. Now, let me ask you this though, 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:10.479 since we're talking about learning about sex. Do you remember 0:05:10.520 --> 0:05:13.320 the first time ever seeing like a porn. I remember 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:16.600 the first time I saw a porn when if you 0:05:16.640 --> 0:05:19.080 say porn doesn't have to be paper indoor like a 0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:21.360 porn movie, like actually, move was something that affected you 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:23.719 because I remember my first time seeing a porn movie. 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:27.120 My parents had him like hidden in the house on VHS, 0:05:27.240 --> 0:05:29.480 and I remember me and my brother was looking through everything. 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:31.120 You know how you go through all your parents stuff, 0:05:31.279 --> 0:05:33.800 and we put the tape in. Oh man, I was 0:05:33.839 --> 0:05:35.480 I can remember the name of the movie. What if 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:40.279 it was your parents having that would have been god. 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:43.039 But they was putting tapes they recorded on tapes back 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:47.359 in a day, right like the video camera my parents 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:51.280 us been happening. You know. The thing that affected me 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:53.520 was my father, who I say was a preacher. I 0:05:53.640 --> 0:05:58.920 found some Playboy magazines in the car and it well 0:05:58.960 --> 0:06:01.200 have affected me because I would have gotten beaten for it. 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:04.120 And there was this man that again was preaching the 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:06.920 sort of piousness and then to find this and it 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:10.840 affected me. It sort of was telling me that he 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:13.320 wasn't who he said. He wasn't true, It wasn't true. 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:14.960 I didn't know what to do with at the moment, 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:16.520 but I was just sort of saying, you're telling us. 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:18.719 You know. He used to say, keep your panties up, 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:21.159 keep your dilly dillies in your pants. You know, that 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:23.760 was his advice to us. But then here was all 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:28.240 this craziness of people splitting their clitterest open and all that. Yeah, 0:06:29.360 --> 0:06:31.159 it was a shock. So that was affected by the 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:33.560 time my first boyfriend, who was a really great guy, 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:35.080 and I have to say it was very gentle with 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:38.120 me and and um and very encouraging. You know, always 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:39.800 say I, no, Eric, you're sexy. No, you know what 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:46.920 you're doing. Yo, you're good at everything. But he really 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:49.880 made me feel no, that doesn't hurt. That showed me 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:53.000 that he had porn and and and I was like okay, 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:55.320 But because it was around him, it seemed like something 0:06:55.360 --> 0:06:57.760 that was a stimulant, not that it was anything that. 0:06:57.960 --> 0:06:59.920 So that was the first time you were a fact 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:03.160 and sexually, um supporn. But the first time you saw 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:05.720 porn it affected you in a negative way, like what 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:11.920 is this? Yeah, because again they make everything around having 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:15.240 sex or being sexual at all like your demon. And 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:17.320 then the suddenly feel like, I mean, we couldn't even 0:07:17.400 --> 0:07:19.760 listen to secular music. He would say, oh, you're gonna 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:21.160 go to hell, and all that, I mean, all the 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:23.320 stuff you hear is stereotype. That's what we get. But 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:25.600 then he would sing like Sam Cook, and he had 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:27.680 a great voice, and he would dance. But when it 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:29.840 was when it was, he would flip the script and 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:32.760 it would become complicated when somebody would try to play 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:35.720 both sides and be a hypocrite, and that's hypocritical. But 0:07:35.840 --> 0:07:37.800 it's different for your brother than it was like for 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:40.160 the girls in the family, because I know they tweat 0:07:40.200 --> 0:07:43.200 the guys different, yes, and in fact, um they were 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:46.080 totally different. Um. You know, we had such a weird 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:49.760 differentiation between boy and girl that my father would buy 0:07:49.840 --> 0:07:52.760 the girl's baby rust and the boy's butterfinger and he 0:07:52.880 --> 0:07:55.200 would get pot pies and girls would only get chicken 0:07:55.240 --> 0:07:58.240 and the boys who could beef. You know, Yeah, it 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:02.160 was like, yeah, boys eating beef and girls kids got chicken, 0:08:02.240 --> 0:08:07.520 and we got smaller, I mean, and and for dainty things. 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:10.120 But not only that that if the better things would 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:13.040 go to them, and you know, and it made me 0:08:13.120 --> 0:08:14.840 for a long time, I mean, they hung around men 0:08:15.160 --> 0:08:17.560 because I thought they have all the good stuff. And 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:19.600 to this day I feel maybe probably a little bit 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:21.840 more comfortable around men. But I've been around so many 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:24.480 strong women now that I feel okay, no, no, I 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:27.400 have I know where I am. And that's crazy because 0:08:27.400 --> 0:08:29.920 then you were on the show like Leomen's single, where 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:33.679 it's like Queen Latifa, who's a strong you know women 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:36.320 in the industry, and the women are comfortable around the man. 0:08:37.240 --> 0:08:39.680 And that's that's been crazy because that's like the total 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:42.280 opposite of how you grew up because y'all were to 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:46.439 dominant in the show and you were dominant. Now the 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:51.880 women were dominant kind of like kind of played the 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:54.680 guys out a lot, like you played Kyle out all 0:08:54.760 --> 0:08:59.760 the time. Um overton No, he was she was, That 0:08:59.800 --> 0:09:03.640 was st Clair over to everybody that um that Kadija 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:06.520 dated is she always you know what I mean, would 0:09:06.559 --> 0:09:09.320 always be the dominant one too. That's true. So it's 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:13.280 crazy how it's extremely different from your life, but you 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:15.080 played it so well. Well. That's why it's a great 0:09:15.080 --> 0:09:17.000 fantasy to become an actress, to be all the things 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:20.000 that you weren't allowed to be. In fact, it was 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:22.600 always in you to be these things. But here's somebody's 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:24.520 writing it for you give me permission to go and 0:09:24.520 --> 0:09:26.640 do it. In fact, the thing that you're seeing that 0:09:26.720 --> 0:09:29.000 I think works so well because chemistry. When we talked 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:30.840 about this, I said, it's hard to find and when 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:33.600 you find it, you should cherish it because not everybody 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:36.200 fits together. You have to find balance. But it came 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:39.240 from the individuality. Was different from Dana, who grew up 0:09:39.280 --> 0:09:42.520 with a professor, a teacher, mother, God bless her. She 0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:46.000 just passed and um her father who was a police officer. 0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:48.120 She's probably the most middle class of us all and 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:50.679 yet she was representing, you know, the street, and I 0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:53.520 come and I grew up, as I said, in a 0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:56.360 hotel called Starlight off AU sixty six, and we were 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:59.520 dumpster diving for cans and jumping in and that's how 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:02.560 we made our money. And you're knocking on doors asking 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:05.719 for jobs, you know, taking out people's trash, cleaning the 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:10.320 McMillan building, the army basis. That's who we were, all right. 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:13.080 So now that Eric Bellinger is here, we got Eric Bellinger, 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:15.960 we got Erica Alexander here. We were just talking about 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:18.640 like how we grew up thinking about sex and you know, 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:20.960 as women, I think it's different how we're taught about 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:23.160 sex as it is for men. So do you remember 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:25.360 the first time you learned about sex. I think it's 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:29.520 different for women. I think it's different for men. I 0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:32.840 think it's different for Christians. You know what I'm saying. 0:10:32.880 --> 0:10:42.319 I grew up awesome. What you say. We were meant 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:44.520 to be together. It was. It wasn't even it wasn't 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:48.240 even a talk, thank you. You know um that birds 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:51.440 and the bees talk quote unquote. My parents never taught 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:56.360 me about sex. They didn't even get around to at 0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:58.520 least tell me, you know what what I mean. But now, 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:01.040 you know, growing up and you know, having the son 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:03.800 on my own and being in the real vibe of 0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:05.959 what it is, and especially now with its progressed to 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:08.959 over the years from even back then. Now it's thrown 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:11.840 around so loosely as like you gotta say something, click 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:15.600 my son three. I'm like, fam, no, that's too young. 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:19.280 But I'm just saying, like, I just feel like it's 0:11:19.320 --> 0:11:21.559 better to know you feel me, just so that you're 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:23.720 aware because it was so forbidding that I feel like 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:26.439 that kind of harm me a little bit. That's fact. 0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:29.080 You can't act like things. That's so taboo because it 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:31.480 makes you kind of weird about it later on in life. 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:33.800 Exactly do you remember the first time you have sex? 0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:37.400 For sure? You remember Erica what that was like? Yes, 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:40.200 I do, I do again. That was my first boyfriend 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:42.679 and he was very kind and you know, it's kind 0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:45.520 as he was encouraging, and it didn't feel like the 0:11:45.559 --> 0:11:47.600 first time I had sex because he's already touched me 0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:50.200 in a gentle way and so him sticking it in 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:52.559 it was deep for me. Because my father was a preacher, 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:58.680 so I think, no doubt let him go because do 0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:04.880 too much with that my so we have a lyricist. 0:12:06.360 --> 0:12:10.719 You know he's gonna provide me. I said, this is 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:18.040 this sucks. I actually don't like him here, I can't anything, 0:12:21.360 --> 0:12:25.480 but you know, but I think I was after and 0:12:25.520 --> 0:12:28.480 I'd say after that point, I was feeling guilty because 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:33.520 I had um uh, I had disappointed God's expectation of me, 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:36.080 and I beat myself up over it. I started to 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:40.880 have panic attacks. I started to ask myself, um uh, 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:43.600 beg for forgiveness, but still do it. And then I 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:45.560 realized I can't be a hypocrite because of what I 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:48.240 said told you earlier. My father I thought was. So 0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:50.199 I told myself that I was going to give up 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:52.679 religion in that way because I thought, if I'm going 0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:55.520 to hell, then a lot of people, we all are, 0:12:55.800 --> 0:12:58.320 and I'd rather be truthful to who I am. And said, well, 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:01.559 if he's going to put send me to hell for 0:13:01.559 --> 0:13:04.480 for giving love and you know I receiving it, then 0:13:04.520 --> 0:13:06.960 I guess I'm hell bound. But I'm telling you that 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:09.640 was always. That was all during the Gulf War years 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:12.840 and a lot of things were very existential, and I 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:16.760 was feeling very vulnerable. And you think about your soul 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:20.120 in those times and in the afterlife, and so to me, 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:22.400 sex wasn't just sex. It was who you were going 0:13:22.440 --> 0:13:25.439 to be and who God thought you were. What was 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:45.480 your first time me m over the Golden rule? Golden rule? Uh? Dolphins? Literally, 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:48.080 I think I believe that you that you it's karmak 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:50.960 and that I don't believe that that's what it was 0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:53.840 meant to do, was to punish us. And then I 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:57.000 think that you punish yourself if you give um so 0:13:57.120 --> 0:14:00.480 liberally that you don't respect yourself, that's different. But you're giving, 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:02.320 you know what you're doing, and the person's accepting and 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:05.440 it's you know, and it's recipient. Yeah, I think God 0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:08.000 bless you and you know and and and you think 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:16.880 and God's grace. Hey, right, amen, I don't think I'm 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:21.640 going up. Definitely, You're exactly right, Eric. Why even though 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:24.040 I had a baby without getting married, and you know, 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:27.840 I've done a lot of things that you know, probably 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:31.600 the Bible wouldn't agree with in my lifetime, But I 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:32.960 still think I'm going to have it. And I still 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:35.000 think I'm in godsips for forgiveness. I don't and I 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:39.680 don't continue to sin. I don't, you know, I little 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:54.040 dick never hurt nobody more. Yeah, I mean, ike, I 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:58.920 smoke right right? You remember your first time? Yeah, well 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:04.120 vibes it was back to her first time. No, she 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:06.560 was a little older than me, but you know I 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:10.320 was I was really into I'm gonna wait until I 0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:12.960 get married vibe. That was what I was on. That 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.080 was your vibe. That was my vibe. She was a 0:15:15.160 --> 0:15:21.600 senior though, So how did you say you were three? 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:24.440 Because you just said your son got to talk? She 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:28.160 was senior. She was senior. She was like, you know, 0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:33.000 I was pro and I was like then, you know, 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:36.480 she got me with but we're gonna get married. Anyway 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:44.680 in the hood, what great were you in? I was 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:53.120 in grade. She was nervous. That's not bad at all. 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:57.240 I mean it's bad, but it's clearly not because she 0:15:57.280 --> 0:15:59.320 was like, we're gonna get me. She wasn't she she 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:01.600 was was she was, she was, she was, she would Okay, 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:03.520 it was like, we're gonna get married, and it was 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:06.360 in love. It for me at sixteen and seventeen, it 0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:09.280 was our version, so it was like, are you right, 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:12.600 we're gonna get married? Long did that last? That's three. 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:19.920 I think I had sex. I think we broke up 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:23.520 with some crazy but we were so we were so young, 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:26.560 Like it was like our parents broke us up for us. 0:16:26.680 --> 0:16:28.760 You know, it was crazy. They didn't want you guys together. 0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:31.280 It was, yeah, because they found out about all kind 0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:34.320 of crazy stuff to the point where my mom was like, Yo, 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:36.760 he's not good to be around your daughter, and her 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:39.880 mom was like, she's not good to be around your son. 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:47.280 You know what I mean, like crazy crazy. I don't 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:49.200 think my first time having sex. I don't think we 0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:52.080 did it right. I think we were just like hunching 0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:56.240 and then I think he came in. Yeah, we were 0:16:56.240 --> 0:17:01.320 brom virgin. That's cute. We were both virgins, and I 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:04.240 don't think we really did it like to this day. 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:10.399 My first time had a sex episode. Yeah, yeah, I 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:13.080 don't think it really did. He attempted, but I don't 0:17:13.080 --> 0:17:15.280 think it really worked. No. Mine was so bad. I 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:18.040 didn't have sex for two years after that. It was 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:20.480 that bad because I think this is terrible. People like 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:22.520 them a good time. My first time did it hurt? 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:25.679 It hurt, and it was quick and then I bled 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:27.800 and then I felt mad different after I was like, 0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:30.360 I remember walking around like I'm not a virgin anymore. 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:32.879 I don't know. And then I would think I lost 0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:35.960 my virgin and cheek to a bicycle seat that was missing. 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:39.840 I'm not kidding. When I was young, I hit a bump. 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:43.320 I just realized gin and juice is bringing out a 0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:45.879 lot of things. I was on a bike and I 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:48.640 was going up hill and and it was that bicycle 0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:52.600 seat wouldn't know just the pole and it went down 0:17:52.680 --> 0:17:57.600 and I bled like a dog. Oh my goshy to 0:17:57.720 --> 0:18:01.679 the doctors. And I remember my father pacing and not 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:04.959 letting my feet touch the floor and um them looking 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:07.840 and yeah and uh. And then I had to sit 0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:10.760 on Maxi pads. I haven't thought of this in a 0:18:10.800 --> 0:18:13.840 long time, Maxi pads. And he would have the kids 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:17.639 come and play in front of me so I wouldn't 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:22.359 have to move. I think I was about it's probably 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:26.000 about seven or race. But yeah, good time. She probably 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:32.000 stop her high man for sure you might helped out. Yeah, 0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:34.000 that was more than breaking your hand. You know, I 0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:39.480 only had a little bit of wood broke her. You know, 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:42.320 after we fake had sex and I thought we like, 0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:44.119 you know, we we thought we had sex and we didn't. 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:46.960 We stopped talking. He stopped talking to me for whatever reason, 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:49.760 and I called him like, I'm pregnant. I wasn't pregnant. 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:55.080 Oh my god to me. So I think he told 0:18:55.080 --> 0:18:56.639 me if I told him I was pregnant that he 0:18:56.640 --> 0:18:59.360 would want to talk to me. You do that, fake pregnant? 0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:03.480 It like four teen, I'm not gonna lie. So lame 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:06.280 for that. He was like, when did you do what? 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:08.479 You think you were pregnant? I knew I wasn't actually 0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:10.840 just trying to get him to talk to me because 0:19:10.840 --> 0:19:15.879 he was. He didn't really connect really, no, no, no, 0:19:16.680 --> 0:19:21.159 you know my sisters went two younger sisters with the 0:19:21.520 --> 0:19:24.679 give my love to my sisters. Now you told him, 0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:26.440 you do you tell me lose it because that happened 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:30.879 to me too. Somebody tell me it's pregnant before he 0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:37.200 knew I wasn't pregnant. Somebody told you they lost the baby. Yeah, 0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:39.919 that's off. How do you know it wasn't true. I 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:42.919 just didn't believe it from jump, Yeah, it was probably 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:46.760 a lie. It wasn't. I didn't believe it wasn't. And 0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:49.919 then when she was like all right, I lost it 0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:53.159 right and then yeah, and it was just like, what 0:19:53.200 --> 0:19:55.000 did you come into. I heard that girls used to 0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:57.000 do that abortion spunger all the time. You knew how 0:19:57.160 --> 0:19:58.960 he was pregnant, to get a little four hundreds out 0:19:58.960 --> 0:20:01.040 of it. Oh, I didn't all trouble. Yeah, a kind 0:20:01.080 --> 0:20:04.119 of on, he said. I think that's why, you know what, 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:05.840 I think, that's why for the rest of my life 0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:09.159 I was always paranoid, even with it's always because I 0:20:09.160 --> 0:20:11.320 remember she told me she was you're that guy at 0:20:11.320 --> 0:20:16.720 a pool out even with a condom. No, I know 0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:22.640 a guy that's so terri feel like that. I'm saying 0:20:22.680 --> 0:20:24.879 after when you said younger, you felt like you felt 0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:26.520 bad about it. You know what I'm saying. I think 0:20:26.600 --> 0:20:29.520 that's what I after. I just be paranoid, like she 0:20:30.359 --> 0:20:35.159 has twints. I guaranteed you, you know, like when I 0:20:35.200 --> 0:20:37.879 lost my virginity, like I was with the guy. He 0:20:38.080 --> 0:20:42.399 was more experienced than me, and I didn't like him 0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:45.880 anymore after. It was weird because like I didn't like it. 0:20:45.880 --> 0:20:48.000 It just wasn't That's how I was. It was I 0:20:48.000 --> 0:20:50.119 told you I had sex one Yeah, I was like, 0:20:50.160 --> 0:20:52.280 I'm not doing this, this is whack. I was cool. 0:20:52.359 --> 0:20:55.040 He started like being weird and like popping up to 0:20:55.119 --> 0:20:57.240 my house and like leaving Teddy Bears at my door 0:20:57.320 --> 0:21:00.320 because like I wouldn't answer his phone calls. Like I 0:21:00.400 --> 0:21:02.399 just felt discussed it. I don't know what it was, 0:21:02.440 --> 0:21:04.600 but I did not like him. No Mark, he couldn't 0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:06.760 touch me, not that I was like, stay the funk 0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:08.520 away from me. And now see I had did He 0:21:08.560 --> 0:21:10.280 lived around the corner for me. I did in for 0:21:10.359 --> 0:21:12.600 like three years, and so he would always try to 0:21:12.600 --> 0:21:14.040