WEBVTT - BONUS: Sobriety

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<v Speaker 1>Hi babe, Welcome back to the bonus episode of The

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<v Speaker 1>Gift That l LA Podcast. This episode is going to

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<v Speaker 1>probably be the first that is nearest and dearest to

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<v Speaker 1>my heart and soul. Today. I've partnered with Ninja Thirsty

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<v Speaker 1>to bring you this episode. It is all about sobriety.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm approaching six years one day at a time, but

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<v Speaker 1>six years in October October twenty second, and that's kind

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<v Speaker 1>of when I feel that my life became real and

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<v Speaker 1>it was. It is the proudest thing I've ever done

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<v Speaker 1>in my life, besides becoming a mom, but I think

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<v Speaker 1>beyond being a mom, this is probably the number one

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<v Speaker 1>thing that I'm proudest of because my sobriety has allowed

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<v Speaker 1>me to be the mom that I want to be.

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<v Speaker 1>I've asked you guys to share some of your sober stories,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm grateful for whoever is like feeling comfortable to

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<v Speaker 1>open up about their sober journey because it is not easy.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot of people don't like to venture into their

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<v Speaker 1>rock bottom moment. That's one of my most favorite things

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<v Speaker 1>to do because it reminds me why I'm here. And

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<v Speaker 1>I think we got a lot of people who have

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<v Speaker 1>sent in notes and videos, so I'd like to just

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<v Speaker 1>kind of get it pop in now.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I got a lot of beautiful, beautiful things, and

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like we'll save a ton of these two

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<v Speaker 2>for another episode, law, because there's so many, Okay, And

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<v Speaker 2>I just know people are always asking about your sobriety story,

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<v Speaker 2>even though you talk about it all the time. No, no,

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<v Speaker 2>all the time. But I'm like, she's You're always like

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<v Speaker 2>bringing it up, which I love. And then people are like,

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<v Speaker 2>she never talks about her sobriety, and I'm like, we

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<v Speaker 2>want to know the story.

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<v Speaker 3>You say you're sober, but I do. I can see

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<v Speaker 3>where they're coming from if they want the in depth.

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<v Speaker 3>It's behind the.

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<v Speaker 1>Scenes the bts of this silver lifestyle. Yeah, so I

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<v Speaker 1>tell you how the sparkling water, yeah, which the partnership

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<v Speaker 1>just made sense. I will say though, now that we

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<v Speaker 1>that I have chronic heartburn, the ninja thirsty stays with

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<v Speaker 1>no bubbles and just the flavor because like, I can

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<v Speaker 1>handle no bubbles.

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<v Speaker 2>Really, Oh, I jack my bubbles up right now. Especially

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<v Speaker 2>I've been doing going on the rooftop of my apartment. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>to just like chill on Sundays, and I'm not drinking

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<v Speaker 2>right now. So I'm like, just because I don't want to,

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<v Speaker 2>it makes me feel yucky. So I jack up the

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<v Speaker 2>bubbles because you told me to put in the flavors,

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<v Speaker 2>and then I bring it up to the rooftop. I'll

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<v Speaker 2>do three of them in a giant water bottle so

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<v Speaker 2>it stays cold and I just sip all freaking morning

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<v Speaker 2>laud in the sun.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh she's a bubbly bitch. I'll be back at it

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<v Speaker 1>come September.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So first one, we did get a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>of a lot of things. We didn't get a ton

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<v Speaker 2>of videos, but I get that that's a very this

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<v Speaker 2>is a very vulnerable thing to write in with. So

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<v Speaker 2>let's play this first one from Rita on the Rocks. Rita,

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<v Speaker 2>thank you for sending this video. You guys will see

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<v Speaker 2>it in the YouTube video.

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<v Speaker 4>Hey Lala, my name is Ritaz and the Rocks. I

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<v Speaker 4>got so excited when I saw this message because sobriety

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<v Speaker 4>is so important to me. Plus, I wrote to you

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<v Speaker 4>a couple of weeks ago and was telling you my

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<v Speaker 4>story about gambling and how I had two and a

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<v Speaker 4>half years clean off the bed and I relapsed and

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<v Speaker 4>hit a second bottom and when they say, you go

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<v Speaker 4>back out there, it's worse, when it's so much worse,

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<v Speaker 4>so much worse. I always knew I laid gambling. My

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<v Speaker 4>brother was a the drug addict that took his life.

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<v Speaker 4>My dad and I found him when I was fourteen,

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<v Speaker 4>and my mom passed away when I was sixteen. I

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<v Speaker 4>claim from a broken heart after what happened to Anthony,

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<v Speaker 4>and I really want to get the message out there

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<v Speaker 4>about gambling. It is an epidemic in this country. It's

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<v Speaker 4>it's spread into state after state, and I mean in Ohio,

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<v Speaker 4>they are quote sending advertisements to to underage kids.

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<v Speaker 3>Yo.

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<v Speaker 4>I go on the boardwalk up here in New Jersey.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm in Wildwood, New Jersey. Your kpe mang up on

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<v Speaker 4>the boardwalk. It's like many casinos, but it is tickets thingts, tickets, tickets.

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<v Speaker 2>What we're doing is groominal.

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<v Speaker 4>We're just grooming the youngiges.

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<v Speaker 2>So that is that's the second video. So I think

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<v Speaker 2>it cut off a little, but obviously gambling.

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<v Speaker 1>Rita on the rocks. I wonder where her email went.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, the email really quick, just because I'm gonna see

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<v Speaker 2>she does she mean DMS?

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<v Speaker 1>If she did DMS. But either way she got to me.

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<v Speaker 1>Now I agree with her. I think that the gambling

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<v Speaker 1>is definitely an epidemic, and I have to say it's

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<v Speaker 1>some one thing that I didn't experience in my childhood,

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<v Speaker 1>just because I came from Utah, and like when we

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<v Speaker 1>would go to Vegas, Dad wasn't really into gambling. My

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<v Speaker 1>mom still to this day tells me, don't go to pavilions.

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<v Speaker 1>Yet I have a coupon, so that bitch certainly ain't

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<v Speaker 1>trying to give her pennies away. She's trying to save them.

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<v Speaker 1>But I was kind of in the gambling world when

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<v Speaker 1>I got with my ex, and it just did not

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<v Speaker 1>interest me. It felt like a very dark place for

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<v Speaker 1>many reasons. Her saying that when you go back out there,

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<v Speaker 1>like once you've been clean from something, whether it's gambling, alcohol, drugs,

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<v Speaker 1>when you start dabbling, that it's very dark and it's

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<v Speaker 1>so much worse I can imagine, because you've reached such

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<v Speaker 1>a milestone, right with two years, and then you already

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<v Speaker 1>have to deal with the guilt and the shame before

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<v Speaker 1>you got sober, and then you hit the milestone and

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<v Speaker 1>then you relapse, think about the shame. Then, can I.

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<v Speaker 2>Ask you about that? And this kind of has to do.

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<v Speaker 1>With both of you.

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<v Speaker 2>Is is there a rule? Because I was talking to

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<v Speaker 2>a friend the other day who said I was sober

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<v Speaker 2>for three years and then I relapsed, and it was

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<v Speaker 2>really hard for me. I couldn't mentally deal with the

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<v Speaker 2>fact of, like I just start again from day one.

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<v Speaker 2>So for me, I had to go no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>I relapse one day, I'm back on and I am

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<v Speaker 2>sober again. But it was one day relapse, and she

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<v Speaker 2>was like, if I had to say, oh, I'm back,

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<v Speaker 2>I think I would have spiraled. Is there a like us?

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<v Speaker 1>Like she just picked up where she left off.

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<v Speaker 2>And when people ask, she still says like three and

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<v Speaker 2>a half years or something, But technically there was a

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<v Speaker 2>relapse day. I mean it could be.

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<v Speaker 1>I think sobriety is one size or is not one

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<v Speaker 1>size fits all. It's kind of like whatever keeps you

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<v Speaker 1>mentally stable. I don't know if she's a the program

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<v Speaker 1>or not. I certainly would have her start from scratch

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<v Speaker 1>the time, but if that messes with her mentally, then

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<v Speaker 1>like you don't want to trigger anybody. But for example,

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<v Speaker 1>like I had a friend whose sponsor relapsed, they could

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<v Speaker 1>no longer be her sponsor because you can't. You need

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<v Speaker 1>at least a year under your belt and all of

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<v Speaker 1>the steps done before you can sponsor somebody. You also

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<v Speaker 1>can't have more time than your sponsor, right, so if

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<v Speaker 1>she were my sponsor, she couldn't be that anymore. Oh okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I see, because the whole point is to not fall

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<v Speaker 1>back into that. Like, thank god, it was just one

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<v Speaker 1>day for her. I don't know. I guess it would

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<v Speaker 1>depend on who you ask.

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<v Speaker 2>But back to Rita, you were saying, yeah, your shirt's

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<v Speaker 2>very dark. Did you ever because I remember when we

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<v Speaker 2>went over an episode of vander Pump you were like,

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<v Speaker 2>maybe I'm as understood this, but you were like I

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<v Speaker 2>was saying I was sober, but I kind of was

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<v Speaker 2>still drinking. Did you ever say you were sober and

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<v Speaker 2>then have a little relapse or try to be sober

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<v Speaker 2>and couldn't or no.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it was for me. I told I would say

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not drinking right now, got it?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't say that I was a sober person because

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't. But they're like a few years back, on

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<v Speaker 1>way more than a few now, A few years back

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<v Speaker 1>when that happened, I was going to AA meetings but

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<v Speaker 1>I was smoking weed and then all of a sudden

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<v Speaker 1>it like hit me. I was like, I'm making a

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<v Speaker 1>mockery of this entire program, Like these women fight hard

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<v Speaker 1>every day to not pick up anything to take them

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<v Speaker 1>out of their reality, and I'm sitting here like coming

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<v Speaker 1>to the meeting and then smacking my pen like the

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<v Speaker 1>moment that I get back to the apartment. So then

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<v Speaker 1>I had to deal with all that guilt when I

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<v Speaker 1>re entered AA to talk about all the things that

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<v Speaker 1>I was not proud of in my addiction. But Rita

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<v Speaker 1>on the rocks, like for her to open up about

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<v Speaker 1>an addiction like that, one that I can't relate to,

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<v Speaker 1>but I know definitely exists in many people. And I

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<v Speaker 1>agree they are like they are sending that shit to

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<v Speaker 1>the youngins. It's a huge issue. And my mom always said,

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<v Speaker 1>do you think that the casinos would be this nice

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<v Speaker 1>and big if people were winning all the time.

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<v Speaker 2>It's so true, right, so true?

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<v Speaker 1>So I never like I remember going with my ex

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<v Speaker 1>and he would give me chips to go gamble. Gosh out, motherfucker,

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<v Speaker 1>I pocketed that shit two seconds, right, I'm more yeah, no,

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<v Speaker 1>or like I would spend I'll be like I'll spend

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<v Speaker 1>a couple hundred and that like two hundred, and that's it.

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<v Speaker 2>Once I lose, I'm like two hundred.

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<v Speaker 4>Right.

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<v Speaker 1>If you beg two.

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<v Speaker 3>Hundred, my mom would go, why don't we just put

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<v Speaker 3>that into investments.

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<v Speaker 1>I would never.

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<v Speaker 2>Really even on slots. I just did to have fun.

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<v Speaker 1>Two hundred dollars, Are you crazy? I'm kidding.

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<v Speaker 3>I got fifty bucks out to go play blackjack with

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<v Speaker 3>Tap Good and I looked at the fifty bucks and

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, I don't really need to play that much.

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<v Speaker 3>I kept it, so I just kept fifty bucks. It's like, eh,

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<v Speaker 3>I like it in my hand.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I can tell. I think a lot of people can't,

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<v Speaker 2>or they're up, and then they I'm just like okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Or if I'm up, that's another thing. If I'm up

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<v Speaker 2>more than twenty five percent, if I'm at two fifty,

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<v Speaker 2>I cash.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't do percentages, so I won't even know if

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<v Speaker 1>I was up twenty five percent. Hold on, let's see

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<v Speaker 1>how many decimals.

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<v Speaker 2>On my favorite. By the way, that's not twenty five percent.

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<v Speaker 2>What fifty is not twenty five percent of two hundred.

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<v Speaker 1>It's okay. When you're you're on a podcast fifty would.

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<v Speaker 2>Be, Oh, yes it is, is it going, guys getting this?

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<v Speaker 1>She went to college. I didn't grab No, But there's

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<v Speaker 1>so many things that like people don't take into account

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<v Speaker 1>that you can become addicted to, Like anything at any

0:10:58.760 --> 0:11:03.040
<v Speaker 1>point in time can be become an extremely unhealthy addiction.

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<v Speaker 1>Like me though, thinking about well, even if it's gambling,

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<v Speaker 1>like the amount of alcohol money I'd spent on alcohol.

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<v Speaker 1>When I would wake up and see those receipts, I

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<v Speaker 1>was like.

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<v Speaker 3>Let's talk about candy crush up, little gambler.

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<v Speaker 1>You no, No, But then can I tell you when

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<v Speaker 1>I knew that I was exiting my it was a pandemic, right,

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<v Speaker 1>a pandemic.

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<v Speaker 2>Handy crush made out so well in the pandemic.

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<v Speaker 3>Everyone did that, but they didn't mean anybody else, but.

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<v Speaker 1>I was crushing it. And now when I see that

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<v Speaker 1>I'm out of lives, I'll make myself wait like forty

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<v Speaker 1>eight hours, seventy two hours, because then they're like so

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<v Speaker 1>excited that you've come back that they give you Hella

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<v Speaker 1>spoons in like an hour of unlimited playtime, so you

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<v Speaker 1>don't run out of spoons.

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<v Speaker 2>She just gave you that, you guys.

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<v Speaker 1>So I wasn't addicted, but I doesn't, Or I wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>you were addictous. I wasn't addicted. I was, but that's

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<v Speaker 1>when I had two incomes coming into that household. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I thought, I.

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<v Speaker 2>So uh this Liam wrote in I can read it

0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:23.000
<v Speaker 2>my sobriety story. I started drinking at thirteen, and throughout

0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:26.120
<v Speaker 2>my teen years. This spiraled into excessive binge drinking, but

0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.839
<v Speaker 2>I justified it as everyone was doing it. Over time,

0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:31.440
<v Speaker 2>I made light of the fact I would quote drink

0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:34.120
<v Speaker 2>my problems away again. Many people would joke like this.

0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:37.400
<v Speaker 2>I could always handle my alcohol very well until I couldn't.

0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:40.719
<v Speaker 2>There was always an over the cliff moment, and there

0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:43.000
<v Speaker 2>was no coming back. There was no stopping and no

0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:46.959
<v Speaker 2>control until I'd blackout. I drank through dealing with my sexuality,

0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:52.120
<v Speaker 2>through not feeling good enough, and just generally through any issues.

0:12:52.160 --> 0:12:54.679
<v Speaker 2>When my friends were all coupling up and I wasn't,

0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:57.120
<v Speaker 2>I would sit and drink at home, sometimes up to

0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:59.560
<v Speaker 2>three bottles of wine in a sitting. I was only

0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:02.040
<v Speaker 2>around two twenty six at this point. I started to

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:05.360
<v Speaker 2>fear the concept of blacking out, hated forgetting everything, and

0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:08.120
<v Speaker 2>hated not knowing how people felt. About me after I'd

0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:10.640
<v Speaker 2>been drinking, so I tried to control it. For a

0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:14.320
<v Speaker 2>couple of years. I managed to balance it well. I

0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:17.400
<v Speaker 2>got into a long term relationship and we often liked

0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:20.640
<v Speaker 2>to drink together. Then my dad died, and again every

0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:23.360
<v Speaker 2>drink was for a sense of solace. I continued to

0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:27.880
<v Speaker 2>spiral down, slower, darker, longer. This time, I didn't particularly

0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:31.040
<v Speaker 2>realize it was happening, despite the odd flag of concern

0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:33.760
<v Speaker 2>from those around me. I blacked out at both of

0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:36.400
<v Speaker 2>our weddings. We had a smaller ceremony and then a

0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:41.160
<v Speaker 2>larger celebration. Oh when you got married. Sorry, honestly I

0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:43.400
<v Speaker 2>missed a lot, but every time I had a drink,

0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:45.920
<v Speaker 2>I felt this false confidence that it was filling a void.

0:13:46.320 --> 0:13:49.760
<v Speaker 2>Eventually I hit rock bottom and my character was out

0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:53.080
<v Speaker 2>of control. In one night, I nearly lost everything, acting

0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:56.400
<v Speaker 2>with aggression, getting lost on a night out, waking up

0:13:56.400 --> 0:13:59.120
<v Speaker 2>on a park bench with my pants down. Oh my god,

0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:02.280
<v Speaker 2>I just got goosebumps. I had no idea what that

0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:05.120
<v Speaker 2>night became or who I became. The next day, I

0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:08.360
<v Speaker 2>swore I would never drink again. Repairing the damage took longer,

0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:10.760
<v Speaker 2>but I've stuck to that and will be two years

0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:14.640
<v Speaker 2>end of October. Wow, I had no this is the last.

0:14:15.600 --> 0:14:18.400
<v Speaker 2>I had no previous knowledge or experience of sobriety in

0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:20.720
<v Speaker 2>my life, but I was a big fan of vander

0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:24.160
<v Speaker 2>Pump Rules, so Lala actually became a very big inspiration

0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:26.720
<v Speaker 2>to me in the process. Since I went sober too,

0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:30.480
<v Speaker 2>more of my friends have and I've supported them best

0:14:30.480 --> 0:14:30.880
<v Speaker 2>I can.

0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:32.000
<v Speaker 1>That is amazing.

0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:38.400
<v Speaker 3>What's amazing is you as well, you Liam, Congratulations, congratulations

0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:40.280
<v Speaker 3>to both October.

0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:42.440
<v Speaker 1>Look at that. You know a lot of people get

0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:45.520
<v Speaker 1>sober in October, and I'm very, very proud you said

0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:49.080
<v Speaker 1>his name's Liam. Yeah, that's absolutely amazing. And that's how

0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:51.760
<v Speaker 1>it does start. Though, by the way, and I've heard

0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:54.040
<v Speaker 1>people say I didn't have I had my first drink

0:14:54.040 --> 0:14:57.200
<v Speaker 1>at thirteen. I had my first drink at twenty one,

0:14:57.640 --> 0:14:59.840
<v Speaker 1>And for some reason, we've all ended up in the

0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:02.080
<v Speaker 1>And when I say in the room, I mean in

0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:07.160
<v Speaker 1>an AA meeting. And there's just no way to do it.

0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:10.920
<v Speaker 1>And I'm not saying that everybody should be sober, because

0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:12.920
<v Speaker 1>I think if you're a Norman, you can enjoy a

0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:15.040
<v Speaker 1>cocktail or a glass of wine and you don't affect

0:15:15.080 --> 0:15:19.640
<v Speaker 1>people in a negative way around you, then there's no harm, right,

0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:25.600
<v Speaker 1>But I do think that most people could benefit from

0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:28.760
<v Speaker 1>sobriety just because I feel like that it's also an

0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:33.640
<v Speaker 1>epidemic where life is really really chaotic and we're trying

0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:39.160
<v Speaker 1>to escape reality. But I completely relate to their story

0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:41.560
<v Speaker 1>because it does start like I didn't have my first

0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:43.840
<v Speaker 1>drink until I was eighteen, when I texted my friend

0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:46.000
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, you know, I went through all

0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:48.240
<v Speaker 1>of high school and all of my friends had these

0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:53.080
<v Speaker 1>like really fun moments of like being drunk, and like,

0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:56.720
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I didn't get to experience that right.

0:15:57.840 --> 0:16:02.280
<v Speaker 1>And I was the type of person who would rarely drink.

0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:07.200
<v Speaker 1>I probably drink once twice a month, and it just

0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:10.640
<v Speaker 1>it's still changed. You know, there was something inside of

0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:13.520
<v Speaker 1>me that was addicted and I was fueling it the

0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:16.560
<v Speaker 1>entire time. But it does start as like the confidence booster.

0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:19.400
<v Speaker 1>You don't have confidence, You're you're feeling like the hair's

0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:22.840
<v Speaker 1>not sitting right, you don't like the way your makeup is,

0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:25.160
<v Speaker 1>you're insecure about your body. You have a drink and

0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:29.040
<v Speaker 1>you're like, suddenly you could approach anybody in the room

0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:29.760
<v Speaker 1>with confidence.

0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:35.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And it's what you think it is yeah, a

0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:37.880
<v Speaker 2>game changer too. Though there's a lot of people attracted

0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:40.040
<v Speaker 2>to confidence. I have someone in my life very close

0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:42.240
<v Speaker 2>to me who I'm like having this talk with constantly,

0:16:42.720 --> 0:16:47.160
<v Speaker 2>and he's like, I get crippling anxiety. If I don't drink,

0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:49.240
<v Speaker 2>I can't make friends. And he's like, I want to

0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:51.400
<v Speaker 2>make friends. He lives in a new place. He's like,

0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:53.600
<v Speaker 2>so I need to drink. Like, I literally go out

0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:55.680
<v Speaker 2>and I can't speak to anybody. I look like a weirdo.

0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:58.360
<v Speaker 2>The second I have a couple of drinks, I'm like

0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:00.960
<v Speaker 2>the light of the part. I'm like, you know, he

0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:02.720
<v Speaker 2>goes and I have friends now, and I'm like, ugh,

0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:03.800
<v Speaker 2>it's really hard.

0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:08.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm sure he's not abusing it. But see that's where

0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:10.720
<v Speaker 1>I think the room could benefit him, because those are

0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:14.080
<v Speaker 1>how a lot of the stories happen. And all of

0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:16.920
<v Speaker 1>this sudden you realize, oh, I'm not the only one

0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:21.440
<v Speaker 1>in this room with crippling anxiety. Like we all have it.

0:17:21.440 --> 0:17:24.439
<v Speaker 1>It's just something that's kind of taken over and we

0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:28.560
<v Speaker 1>think that with a couple drinks, we have the confidence.

0:17:29.560 --> 0:17:32.920
<v Speaker 1>Like they said, Liam, it's a false confidence. You start

0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:37.280
<v Speaker 1>getting sloppy. It's not cute. People start talking behind your

0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:40.520
<v Speaker 1>back about your drinking. It's not a good feeling. And

0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:43.439
<v Speaker 1>then when you suffer great loss and it becomes the

0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:47.359
<v Speaker 1>numbing tool, then you are in the darkest hole of

0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:50.399
<v Speaker 1>your entire life because alcohol is a depressant. And I

0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:52.720
<v Speaker 1>love when people are like, well, tequila is not it's

0:17:52.760 --> 0:17:56.159
<v Speaker 1>made with a gave, Like the fuck off.

0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:59.679
<v Speaker 2>Alcohol is poisoning all alcohol is poisoning you, literally, like,

0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:03.359
<v Speaker 2>please stop, Liam, you I see this photo of you

0:18:03.400 --> 0:18:07.760
<v Speaker 2>and your partner and your dog, absolutely so cute and thriving.

0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:10.199
<v Speaker 2>I do have to say, even after your wedding, you

0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:13.720
<v Speaker 2>sharing that like blacking out during both your weddings. I

0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:16.399
<v Speaker 2>don't know if your partner. It sounds like your partner

0:18:16.440 --> 0:18:20.000
<v Speaker 2>supported you, in which case that's also very beautiful. I

0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:21.600
<v Speaker 2>think it looks like you're still together.

0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:22.240
<v Speaker 1>Yep.

0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:24.800
<v Speaker 3>And shout out to Liam for being there for the

0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:26.520
<v Speaker 3>two friends as well and doing right.

0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:29.919
<v Speaker 1>Yea, here for them while still battling him. That's the

0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:33.000
<v Speaker 1>gift of sobriety. When people around you start looking at

0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:36.560
<v Speaker 1>you and they're like, I want what you have, you know,

0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.439
<v Speaker 1>that's a that's a really powerful moment.

0:18:39.720 --> 0:18:41.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you started the train right there.

0:18:41.680 --> 0:18:45.280
<v Speaker 1>Remember that and I live my life that way now,

0:18:45.400 --> 0:18:47.960
<v Speaker 1>like sobriety. Even if you're not a sober person. I

0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:50.760
<v Speaker 1>think anyone could benefit from reading the Big Book or

0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:54.560
<v Speaker 1>the twelve Steps, because it's just about kind of becoming

0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:57.199
<v Speaker 1>a better person. And they're not expecting you to like

0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:01.399
<v Speaker 1>read this book and now you're different, but you know

0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:06.240
<v Speaker 1>you're constantly redoing steps. I was on step four for

0:19:07.000 --> 0:19:09.200
<v Speaker 1>years on end, and I thought I was finally gonna

0:19:09.200 --> 0:19:12.479
<v Speaker 1>be over it, and then life hit me like a

0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:18.600
<v Speaker 1>ton of bricks at the Americana one day amends, I'm like, resentments, okay,

0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:19.240
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like.

0:19:20.080 --> 0:19:21.919
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've got some built up respect.

0:19:22.640 --> 0:19:24.520
<v Speaker 1>That's what's going to take a minute. And you know,

0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:27.040
<v Speaker 1>all of season ten, my sponsor would be like, we've

0:19:27.080 --> 0:19:29.440
<v Speaker 1>got you're you're angry, and I'm like, it's got to

0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:31.520
<v Speaker 1>be enough to just not pick up a drink right now.

0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:34.040
<v Speaker 1>I can't do I can't work the steps right now

0:19:34.359 --> 0:19:38.680
<v Speaker 1>in an authentic way. It'll be bullshit. I'm pissed off.

0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:41.240
<v Speaker 2>Right and you gotta feel it. You can't move on

0:19:41.320 --> 0:19:42.920
<v Speaker 2>to the next Is that how it works? You can't

0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:44.359
<v Speaker 2>like skip a step and be like, welly, I'm on

0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:45.920
<v Speaker 2>step six, but I didn't finish step four.

0:19:46.320 --> 0:19:48.440
<v Speaker 1>When you first get sober, you should do one through

0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:51.840
<v Speaker 1>twelve in order. Okay, But then throughout your sobriety you're

0:19:51.880 --> 0:19:56.040
<v Speaker 1>gonna be revisiting steps all the time. Oh that's good

0:19:56.040 --> 0:19:58.920
<v Speaker 1>to know. See, that's like it's a constant. You're gonna

0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:01.359
<v Speaker 1>be going back and re reading the big book. That's

0:20:01.400 --> 0:20:03.639
<v Speaker 1>why I highly recommend when someone comes to me in

0:20:03.680 --> 0:20:07.320
<v Speaker 1>my DMS or you know, on the streets and they're

0:20:07.400 --> 0:20:09.480
<v Speaker 1>just like, I think I have a drinking problem, what

0:20:09.520 --> 0:20:11.800
<v Speaker 1>do you recommend I do? I'm like, first and foremost,

0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:14.840
<v Speaker 1>get the book and start reading, and anything that resonates

0:20:14.880 --> 0:20:19.680
<v Speaker 1>with you, highlight fold the page because you will feel

0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:25.359
<v Speaker 1>like that book was written for you specifically, you know. Yeah.

0:20:26.240 --> 0:20:29.960
<v Speaker 2>So this is from Jessica. And like I've mentioned, we

0:20:30.040 --> 0:20:32.520
<v Speaker 2>get the podcast gets a ton of DMS and we

0:20:32.560 --> 0:20:34.399
<v Speaker 2>do our best to keep up, but they'll get buried

0:20:34.440 --> 0:20:39.560
<v Speaker 2>on one another. So Jessica messaged for this, in which

0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:44.840
<v Speaker 2>case she put an arrow upwards. So January twenty sixth,

0:20:44.920 --> 0:20:47.760
<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty three, Jessica messaged the podcast which we did

0:20:47.760 --> 0:20:51.080
<v Speaker 2>not see. Hilala and jess this will and may seem silly,

0:20:51.080 --> 0:20:53.840
<v Speaker 2>but I'm struggling very hard with alcoholism. I don't know

0:20:53.840 --> 0:20:56.040
<v Speaker 2>how to get off this horrible ride. If I stop,

0:20:56.040 --> 0:20:58.680
<v Speaker 2>I feel sick. I look up to you for hope,

0:20:58.720 --> 0:21:00.679
<v Speaker 2>and I know things can and will get better. I

0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:02.800
<v Speaker 2>just don't know where to start. I love your podcast,

0:21:02.880 --> 0:21:04.640
<v Speaker 2>and you give me so much hope for my future.

0:21:04.880 --> 0:21:07.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm unsure of what I'm writing for. Maybe this is

0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:09.080
<v Speaker 2>just appreciation for the work you do every day, and

0:21:09.119 --> 0:21:11.320
<v Speaker 2>I hope one day I'll be in your sober shoes.

0:21:11.520 --> 0:21:14.240
<v Speaker 2>Love you all, Ocean included. Thank you for all of

0:21:14.280 --> 0:21:17.640
<v Speaker 2>your honesty. God bless all of you now. Yesterday rit

0:21:17.720 --> 0:21:21.400
<v Speaker 2>sin okay with an arrow up pointing okay, wild. Long

0:21:21.440 --> 0:21:23.840
<v Speaker 2>story short. I was drinking a fifth of vodka or

0:21:23.880 --> 0:21:25.960
<v Speaker 2>more a day on the verge of losing my job

0:21:26.200 --> 0:21:29.760
<v Speaker 2>and was being incredibly irresponsible with my body and finances.

0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:35.199
<v Speaker 2>I quit drinking cold turkey, experienced hallucinations and horrible withdraws

0:21:35.240 --> 0:21:39.080
<v Speaker 2>for about four days, isolated myself at my older brother's house,

0:21:39.160 --> 0:21:41.679
<v Speaker 2>and just went through it. I'm now thirteen months, so,

0:21:41.920 --> 0:21:45.240
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, I'm getting a hill. Thirteen months so

0:21:45.960 --> 0:21:48.639
<v Speaker 2>no alcohol, no weed, nothing. I run a department of

0:21:48.680 --> 0:21:52.760
<v Speaker 2>twenty associates, am almost debt free and about thirty pounds later,

0:21:52.880 --> 0:21:57.040
<v Speaker 2>almost four months celibate, not necessarily by choice, but it's

0:21:57.240 --> 0:22:00.800
<v Speaker 2>it's so hard having sober sex anyway, I don't mind.

0:22:00.880 --> 0:22:03.399
<v Speaker 2>Here it is and so much happier. I was a

0:22:03.480 --> 0:22:07.280
<v Speaker 2>zombie before, so careless and reckless. I now have purpose

0:22:07.320 --> 0:22:09.199
<v Speaker 2>and meaning in my life, a sense of self, with

0:22:09.680 --> 0:22:13.160
<v Speaker 2>a sense of self without my identity being tied to vodka.

0:22:13.240 --> 0:22:15.679
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for being transparent about your journey, and I

0:22:15.720 --> 0:22:19.560
<v Speaker 2>can say without a doubt it's helped this lost little bird.

0:22:19.760 --> 0:22:22.199
<v Speaker 2>It's been the most vulnerable year of my life, but

0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:25.240
<v Speaker 2>it's freeing being so fucking real with yourself, admitting faults

0:22:25.240 --> 0:22:28.320
<v Speaker 2>and apologizing to those you love for the ways you've

0:22:28.320 --> 0:22:30.439
<v Speaker 2>wrong them. I have a supportive and loving team, and

0:22:30.480 --> 0:22:32.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm so blessed to be where I am today thanks

0:22:32.480 --> 0:22:35.080
<v Speaker 2>to my sister in laws and brothers kindness. They let

0:22:35.160 --> 0:22:35.760
<v Speaker 2>me live with them.

0:22:36.480 --> 0:22:38.480
<v Speaker 1>Ah, that's amazing.

0:22:38.640 --> 0:22:39.320
<v Speaker 3>We have tears.

0:22:39.800 --> 0:22:42.120
<v Speaker 2>Wow, this is absolutely beautiful.

0:22:42.280 --> 0:22:47.200
<v Speaker 1>First, I'm very sorry that we missed yes that message.

0:22:46.880 --> 0:22:49.560
<v Speaker 2>January twenty sixth, twenty twenty three, but I think it.

0:22:49.480 --> 0:22:51.400
<v Speaker 3>Was meant to be that we missed it, and we

0:22:51.400 --> 0:22:52.920
<v Speaker 3>were supposed to find it today.

0:22:53.200 --> 0:22:56.000
<v Speaker 1>You know, Wow, I feel God in the universe work

0:22:56.119 --> 0:22:59.640
<v Speaker 1>in very mysterious ways that we don't understand until suddenly

0:22:59.680 --> 0:23:03.919
<v Speaker 1>it all makes sense. Thirteen months sober, that's absolutely incredible.

0:23:04.000 --> 0:23:06.720
<v Speaker 1>I would say the first thirty days is the most difficult.

0:23:06.800 --> 0:23:09.520
<v Speaker 1>The next thirty days is going to be really fucking difficult.

0:23:09.920 --> 0:23:12.560
<v Speaker 1>And they call it a pink cloud. So my most

0:23:12.600 --> 0:23:16.960
<v Speaker 1>favorite thing, and also what makes me the most terrified,

0:23:17.040 --> 0:23:20.600
<v Speaker 1>is when I have somebody approach me talking to me

0:23:21.280 --> 0:23:25.560
<v Speaker 1>about their sobriety and they love it so much, and

0:23:25.640 --> 0:23:28.280
<v Speaker 1>I love that for them. But what happens is you

0:23:28.320 --> 0:23:32.479
<v Speaker 1>sink into the reality of I'm a sober person and

0:23:32.520 --> 0:23:35.960
<v Speaker 1>I can't This isn't something that I'm ever going to conquer.

0:23:36.320 --> 0:23:38.920
<v Speaker 1>I have to work out every day. And the reason

0:23:38.960 --> 0:23:40.639
<v Speaker 1>I know about the pink cloud is because when I

0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:45.239
<v Speaker 1>discovered sobriety and I would walk in to my I

0:23:45.280 --> 0:23:47.239
<v Speaker 1>call her my angel. She's the one that gave me

0:23:47.840 --> 0:23:53.480
<v Speaker 1>or presented the Brent Shapiro ash Spirit Award. Yeah, Ashley,

0:23:52.640 --> 0:23:55.960
<v Speaker 1>we had her on the podcast. Okay, She's the first

0:23:55.960 --> 0:23:58.280
<v Speaker 1>person I called when I got sober or wanted to

0:23:58.280 --> 0:24:01.720
<v Speaker 1>get sober. But she I would come in every single

0:24:01.760 --> 0:24:07.080
<v Speaker 1>Thursday and be like, I just love being sober. Okay,

0:24:07.680 --> 0:24:11.439
<v Speaker 1>we're on the pink cloud. She's like, I want you

0:24:11.520 --> 0:24:14.320
<v Speaker 1>to remember, I'm thrilled for you and every day is

0:24:14.359 --> 0:24:16.199
<v Speaker 1>going to be a gift that you stay sober. But

0:24:16.280 --> 0:24:19.120
<v Speaker 1>the pink cloud you get knocked off of it real

0:24:19.200 --> 0:24:23.680
<v Speaker 1>quick because life will still happen. It does not solve

0:24:23.720 --> 0:24:27.360
<v Speaker 1>all your problems. The difference is your life becomes manageable.

0:24:28.440 --> 0:24:33.200
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, well manageable. I mean, I've been

0:24:33.280 --> 0:24:36.800
<v Speaker 1>managing shit my whole life, you know, But that really

0:24:37.000 --> 0:24:40.960
<v Speaker 1>is the difference. I've gone through the hardest times of

0:24:40.960 --> 0:24:46.960
<v Speaker 1>my life being sober, and it's like, what would this

0:24:47.080 --> 0:24:50.200
<v Speaker 1>have turned into had I been drinking.

0:24:51.440 --> 0:24:52.480
<v Speaker 3>Oh no.

0:24:53.640 --> 0:24:58.720
<v Speaker 1>So the fact that her rock bottom looked very different

0:24:59.359 --> 0:25:02.760
<v Speaker 1>than mine, It essentially doesn't matter what the rock bottom

0:25:02.840 --> 0:25:07.080
<v Speaker 1>moment is, right, whether it's like not that bad or

0:25:07.160 --> 0:25:09.520
<v Speaker 1>I know, I've sat in rooms with people who their

0:25:09.600 --> 0:25:15.280
<v Speaker 1>rock bottoms are like absolutely devastating, life altering, right, But

0:25:15.359 --> 0:25:17.600
<v Speaker 1>the point is we're in the room, and it does

0:25:17.640 --> 0:25:22.280
<v Speaker 1>take a while to go around and apologize and make amends,

0:25:22.359 --> 0:25:27.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, step nine and the people who don't want

0:25:27.200 --> 0:25:31.679
<v Speaker 1>to forgive you. It's all good. Because you know that

0:25:32.280 --> 0:25:35.040
<v Speaker 1>you've conquered, not conquered. I shouldn't say that word. You

0:25:35.040 --> 0:25:38.639
<v Speaker 1>haven't conquered the beast, but you've admitted that you are

0:25:38.680 --> 0:25:42.119
<v Speaker 1>the problem, that you're powerless over alcohol, and you're not

0:25:42.680 --> 0:25:46.320
<v Speaker 1>who you really are when you're under the influence people

0:25:46.359 --> 0:25:49.520
<v Speaker 1>who you want to apologize for things that you may

0:25:49.520 --> 0:25:51.720
<v Speaker 1>have done to them that they don't know about. And

0:25:51.760 --> 0:25:53.800
<v Speaker 1>they're thriving in life, so why the fuck would you

0:25:53.920 --> 0:25:57.000
<v Speaker 1>go and make them aware of something you've done. You

0:25:57.080 --> 0:26:00.479
<v Speaker 1>write the note and you throw it away where you

0:26:00.520 --> 0:26:03.639
<v Speaker 1>burn it. You know. There's like so many ways of

0:26:03.680 --> 0:26:08.720
<v Speaker 1>like saying sorry to somebody, and the people that forgive

0:26:08.760 --> 0:26:11.320
<v Speaker 1>you those are the ones that, like your heart kind

0:26:11.320 --> 0:26:12.320
<v Speaker 1>of melts for right.

0:26:12.640 --> 0:26:16.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I feel like I could do that, not even

0:26:16.359 --> 0:26:17.000
<v Speaker 2>in sobriety.

0:26:17.040 --> 0:26:18.840
<v Speaker 1>Like that just seems like that's what I mean.

0:26:18.920 --> 0:26:21.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, anyway, Yeah.

0:26:20.760 --> 0:26:24.000
<v Speaker 1>The book is beneficial to everybody. Yeah, it's just teaching

0:26:24.040 --> 0:26:25.720
<v Speaker 1>you how to be a kind person. There are moments

0:26:25.760 --> 0:26:29.160
<v Speaker 1>where you fall off and you're like me, not drinking

0:26:29.240 --> 0:26:32.359
<v Speaker 1>just has to be enough. Me not being a major

0:26:32.880 --> 0:26:35.080
<v Speaker 1>see you next Tuesday just has to be enough. Right now,

0:26:35.080 --> 0:26:37.520
<v Speaker 1>I can't deal with the steps I can't apologize to

0:26:37.560 --> 0:26:40.760
<v Speaker 1>this person. I for damn sure, I'm not taking accountability

0:26:40.800 --> 0:26:42.720
<v Speaker 1>in this situation. She's about to say.

0:26:42.720 --> 0:26:44.480
<v Speaker 3>It's almost like it just takes you have to take

0:26:44.520 --> 0:26:47.040
<v Speaker 3>accountability for everything that you felt like you've done wrong.

0:26:47.800 --> 0:26:50.119
<v Speaker 3>Just in the book sober or not. I think like

0:26:50.200 --> 0:26:51.680
<v Speaker 3>it would be a very good thing to even look

0:26:51.720 --> 0:26:53.560
<v Speaker 3>back and be like, Okay, I did them dirty, not

0:26:53.640 --> 0:26:56.800
<v Speaker 3>even sober or drunk. But I feel like the apology

0:26:56.840 --> 0:26:58.280
<v Speaker 3>should be there, you know.

0:26:58.760 --> 0:27:01.919
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean they're incredibly difficult steps that you have

0:27:02.000 --> 0:27:03.720
<v Speaker 1>to overcome in that book.

0:27:04.359 --> 0:27:06.359
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and you're just saying, like I love when you

0:27:06.359 --> 0:27:08.520
<v Speaker 2>say me not drinking just has to be enough. Takes

0:27:08.560 --> 0:27:10.600
<v Speaker 2>me back to the more we've talked about on the podcast,

0:27:10.600 --> 0:27:13.960
<v Speaker 2>the more general, like even dealing with depression and anxiety.

0:27:14.080 --> 0:27:17.639
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes days are like me, waking up today has to

0:27:17.680 --> 0:27:21.480
<v Speaker 2>be enough. I have to be like I woke up today, great,

0:27:21.840 --> 0:27:24.600
<v Speaker 2>I fred did it. I'm here on earth for another day.

0:27:25.200 --> 0:27:25.960
<v Speaker 2>Like there you go.

0:27:26.560 --> 0:27:30.320
<v Speaker 1>Well, I think sobriety people who struggle, it allows you

0:27:30.400 --> 0:27:33.840
<v Speaker 1>to have that mindset, you know, where you can wake

0:27:33.920 --> 0:27:37.800
<v Speaker 1>up and manage life and your emotions and say today's

0:27:37.880 --> 0:27:39.520
<v Speaker 1>not the greatest of days. I'm going to take it

0:27:39.560 --> 0:27:42.080
<v Speaker 1>on the best way that I possibly can. But I'm

0:27:42.080 --> 0:27:43.199
<v Speaker 1>not at my rock bottom.

0:27:43.240 --> 0:27:44.240
<v Speaker 3>So it's a good day.

0:27:44.520 --> 0:27:46.320
<v Speaker 1>Well it's we're going to take it as a win.

0:27:46.440 --> 0:27:48.760
<v Speaker 1>I opened my eyes and I and I.

0:27:48.760 --> 0:27:52.159
<v Speaker 3>Tried yep, yeah, and they everyone should take that as

0:27:52.160 --> 0:27:54.520
<v Speaker 3>a win because I sure as yeah.

0:27:54.600 --> 0:27:57.879
<v Speaker 1>There are days, man, that's all all that I can do.

0:27:58.200 --> 0:27:58.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:27:58.760 --> 0:28:00.200
<v Speaker 1>Up.

0:28:00.480 --> 0:28:03.440
<v Speaker 2>This is from Jennifer. I have been sober for one

0:28:03.480 --> 0:28:05.840
<v Speaker 2>year and two days. My life was complete chaos while

0:28:05.880 --> 0:28:08.399
<v Speaker 2>I was drinking. I had destroyed every relationship with my

0:28:08.440 --> 0:28:10.520
<v Speaker 2>family and friends. I met my fiance two and a

0:28:10.520 --> 0:28:12.879
<v Speaker 2>half years ago, and he was a heavy drinker as well.

0:28:13.119 --> 0:28:15.440
<v Speaker 2>We are both amazed that we are still together after

0:28:15.560 --> 0:28:18.480
<v Speaker 2>everything we've put each other through. We decided together that

0:28:18.520 --> 0:28:22.800
<v Speaker 2>the only way out, the only way our relationship could survive,

0:28:23.480 --> 0:28:26.199
<v Speaker 2>would be for both of us to completely stop drinking.

0:28:26.240 --> 0:28:29.399
<v Speaker 2>The amount of growth we have experienced individually and together

0:28:29.480 --> 0:28:32.720
<v Speaker 2>this past year would never have been possible if alcohol

0:28:32.720 --> 0:28:34.760
<v Speaker 2>were still a part of our lives. I have been

0:28:34.800 --> 0:28:37.280
<v Speaker 2>watching vander Pump since season one and loved you from

0:28:37.280 --> 0:28:39.240
<v Speaker 2>the very first second I saw you on season four.

0:28:39.480 --> 0:28:41.400
<v Speaker 2>I also grew up in Salt Lake, but I'm currently

0:28:41.400 --> 0:28:43.960
<v Speaker 2>in Indiana. I started listening to your podcasts after I

0:28:44.040 --> 0:28:46.920
<v Speaker 2>quit drinking because I knew you were sober. It has

0:28:47.000 --> 0:28:50.800
<v Speaker 2>become my favorite podcast. My fiance now watches vander Pump

0:28:50.880 --> 0:28:55.200
<v Speaker 2>with me because he appreciates your honesty about your sobriety journey.

0:28:55.480 --> 0:28:59.200
<v Speaker 1>That's incredible. Yeah, I think I could be with someone

0:28:59.280 --> 0:29:02.320
<v Speaker 1>who was also sobered in the program if we went

0:29:02.440 --> 0:29:03.800
<v Speaker 1>through it together.

0:29:04.120 --> 0:29:04.960
<v Speaker 2>That is beautiful.

0:29:04.960 --> 0:29:08.720
<v Speaker 1>But that is beautiful because that is not the norm.

0:29:09.160 --> 0:29:13.400
<v Speaker 1>There's usually always one person who's the enabler of the behavior.

0:29:13.920 --> 0:29:14.280
<v Speaker 1>Believe in.

0:29:14.400 --> 0:29:17.880
<v Speaker 3>You say you couldn't be with a sober You say

0:29:17.920 --> 0:29:20.520
<v Speaker 3>you would want to be with a man that still drank.

0:29:20.600 --> 0:29:21.800
<v Speaker 1>You didn't want to be with this who if they

0:29:21.800 --> 0:29:24.680
<v Speaker 1>did it together, though, I'm saying if we did it together,

0:29:24.720 --> 0:29:27.320
<v Speaker 1>I think it would be a different it would be

0:29:27.360 --> 0:29:29.959
<v Speaker 1>a different situation. You know, we we went through our

0:29:30.040 --> 0:29:33.360
<v Speaker 1>drinking days together and now we both are choosing sobriety

0:29:33.360 --> 0:29:37.560
<v Speaker 1>and we had like this this epiphany and awakening the

0:29:37.600 --> 0:29:40.800
<v Speaker 1>two of us to like do this together. That's not normal.

0:29:41.720 --> 0:29:46.240
<v Speaker 1>The norm is one person always isn't ready to give

0:29:46.280 --> 0:29:50.360
<v Speaker 1>it up, and that can it and in you know,

0:29:50.520 --> 0:29:53.440
<v Speaker 1>a relapse for the person who chooses a healthy lifestyle,

0:29:54.360 --> 0:29:57.360
<v Speaker 1>or on the rare occasion that the person says like,

0:29:57.840 --> 0:30:01.560
<v Speaker 1>we're just like you're not healthy for me and my

0:30:01.600 --> 0:30:05.520
<v Speaker 1>new life choices. So that's a that's an incredible story, and.

0:30:05.600 --> 0:30:09.760
<v Speaker 2>Really yeah, that they're together and thriving, the things they

0:30:09.800 --> 0:30:13.280
<v Speaker 2>probably discovered about each other during that and then being

0:30:13.320 --> 0:30:14.360
<v Speaker 2>able to have like.

0:30:14.440 --> 0:30:18.840
<v Speaker 3>I don't know how she would think thinking about like, oh,

0:30:18.880 --> 0:30:20.720
<v Speaker 3>that's going to be a strong bond right there.

0:30:20.800 --> 0:30:24.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and what you guys say about like sober sex

0:30:24.200 --> 0:30:26.680
<v Speaker 2>versus drunks, like stuff like that when you're squirting. That

0:30:28.160 --> 0:30:37.840
<v Speaker 2>is the day. I hope you squirted, Jennifer. I really cute.

0:30:38.200 --> 0:30:39.120
<v Speaker 2>They're so cute.

0:30:39.800 --> 0:30:40.840
<v Speaker 1>They're way cute.

0:30:41.640 --> 0:30:44.800
<v Speaker 2>I love like a golfer. Their their chic and they

0:30:44.800 --> 0:30:46.680
<v Speaker 2>have like matching glasses. I love you, mother.

0:30:47.360 --> 0:30:50.480
<v Speaker 1>They're but let me tell you something. This is him.

0:30:50.760 --> 0:30:54.440
<v Speaker 1>Have you ever really do to Have you ever heard

0:30:54.640 --> 0:31:00.160
<v Speaker 1>anyone say my life really started taking off and I

0:31:00.160 --> 0:31:03.720
<v Speaker 1>started thriving when I started getting super fucked.

0:31:03.440 --> 0:31:13.520
<v Speaker 2>Up literally never never hurt, never rappers, even them even then.

0:31:13.560 --> 0:31:16.800
<v Speaker 1>It's like Eminem has been so bare over sixteen years.

0:31:16.920 --> 0:31:19.600
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Well he wasn't when he was making a shue Yeah,

0:31:19.600 --> 0:31:20.000
<v Speaker 3>and it was.

0:31:20.080 --> 0:31:21.240
<v Speaker 1>Really really dark.

0:31:21.720 --> 0:31:25.000
<v Speaker 2>The girl who say the National Anthem, who everyone was

0:31:25.040 --> 0:31:26.960
<v Speaker 2>sending us a video being like Jess was this is

0:31:27.000 --> 0:31:30.280
<v Speaker 2>this usual? It was? And she came out a couple

0:31:30.320 --> 0:31:33.640
<v Speaker 2>of days ago and said, I was drunk. I'm humiliated.

0:31:33.680 --> 0:31:35.760
<v Speaker 2>But there's a video of her singing and she starts

0:31:35.960 --> 0:31:38.600
<v Speaker 2>way too high, way too high.

0:31:39.320 --> 0:31:42.120
<v Speaker 1>It happened to all of us. Sure. I also busted

0:31:42.160 --> 0:31:44.600
<v Speaker 1>into song on watch Rabin's I'm Not the National Anthem,

0:31:44.760 --> 0:31:47.400
<v Speaker 1>and I thought I was killing it. I thought I

0:31:47.440 --> 0:31:54.120
<v Speaker 1>was Rihanna. Girl happens. That's what I want to see now,

0:31:54.920 --> 0:31:57.800
<v Speaker 1>you guys on the bus season seven, when I'm making

0:31:57.880 --> 0:32:00.440
<v Speaker 1>everybody like tickle and touch me, and I was, she's

0:32:00.480 --> 0:32:02.920
<v Speaker 1>on Molly. People love to touch when they're on Molly.

0:32:03.280 --> 0:32:07.760
<v Speaker 2>Molly. I've never done Molly or ecstasy nothing. Hell, no,

0:32:07.920 --> 0:32:10.280
<v Speaker 2>are you crazy? It's just alcohol. You were on alcohol.

0:32:10.600 --> 0:32:14.600
<v Speaker 1>I liked the things from the earth, mushrooms, mushure.

0:32:14.680 --> 0:32:15.560
<v Speaker 2>Were you on mushrooms?

0:32:15.960 --> 0:32:20.760
<v Speaker 1>No, it's because I started having the Sunday scaries. I

0:32:20.840 --> 0:32:24.040
<v Speaker 1>had been drinking after not drinking for a chunk of time.

0:32:24.080 --> 0:32:26.520
<v Speaker 1>Season seven when my dad died. Oh yes, that I

0:32:26.680 --> 0:32:31.360
<v Speaker 1>started having alcohol panic. You know when you wake up

0:32:32.000 --> 0:32:34.800
<v Speaker 1>and you may have had like a rough night of drinking,

0:32:34.840 --> 0:32:38.160
<v Speaker 1>and you start having the worst anxiety of your fucking

0:32:38.200 --> 0:32:39.720
<v Speaker 1>life and you just want to crawl out of your

0:32:39.760 --> 0:32:42.000
<v Speaker 1>own skin. Yeah, that was me.

0:32:42.600 --> 0:32:44.760
<v Speaker 2>And that's why you were having So you were sober,

0:32:44.880 --> 0:32:45.320
<v Speaker 2>you were.

0:32:45.200 --> 0:32:49.120
<v Speaker 1>Just I was not sober. I had Mexico. When we went,

0:32:49.480 --> 0:32:52.440
<v Speaker 1>I literally say to Shina, Mama hasn't been drunk in

0:32:52.480 --> 0:32:55.800
<v Speaker 1>a while, So I overdo it. And on the bus

0:32:55.880 --> 0:33:00.280
<v Speaker 1>that night, the alcohol had sunk in and I just

0:33:00.320 --> 0:33:03.520
<v Speaker 1>had anxiety about my life and I needed people to, like,

0:33:04.600 --> 0:33:07.080
<v Speaker 1>you know how they say, take a risk, like an

0:33:07.160 --> 0:33:10.880
<v Speaker 1>elastic and flick your wrist. Yes, it was similar to

0:33:10.960 --> 0:33:13.720
<v Speaker 1>me wanting that all over my body so that I

0:33:13.720 --> 0:33:17.560
<v Speaker 1>could focus on that and not what your mind. So yes,

0:33:18.120 --> 0:33:19.240
<v Speaker 1>it was really.

0:33:21.360 --> 0:33:22.040
<v Speaker 3>Out of your mind.

0:33:22.280 --> 0:33:24.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but there was nothing like I if I could

0:33:24.800 --> 0:33:26.600
<v Speaker 1>have had them all just punched me in the face

0:33:26.640 --> 0:33:32.440
<v Speaker 1>over and over, that probably would have worked best. No,

0:33:32.560 --> 0:33:37.000
<v Speaker 1>it was the worst experience of my life, of my life.

0:33:37.600 --> 0:33:44.080
<v Speaker 1>I hated that entire Yeah. No, sobriety is where it's at, dude.

0:33:44.200 --> 0:33:46.720
<v Speaker 1>Then sometimes I wish I could get like show people

0:33:46.760 --> 0:33:49.160
<v Speaker 1>like a crystal ball of like your life is gonna happen,

0:33:49.240 --> 0:33:53.120
<v Speaker 1>but like, imagine life happening and it not taking you out. Yeah,

0:33:53.480 --> 0:33:55.320
<v Speaker 1>and you're like, you know what, I'm a little bummed today,

0:33:55.360 --> 0:33:57.760
<v Speaker 1>but like fuck that, Tomorrow's a new day, Like tomorrow

0:33:57.760 --> 0:33:59.800
<v Speaker 1>could also be ship But guess what, we know that

0:33:59.840 --> 0:34:01.720
<v Speaker 1>it's it's not going to be that way forever. Yes,

0:34:01.920 --> 0:34:02.760
<v Speaker 1>nothing is forever.

0:34:03.440 --> 0:34:05.680
<v Speaker 2>Every day can't be your worst day because even if

0:34:05.680 --> 0:34:08.880
<v Speaker 2>your days continue to get worse, your day before that

0:34:09.000 --> 0:34:09.360
<v Speaker 2>was better.

0:34:09.840 --> 0:34:11.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and you know what, this is how I want

0:34:11.360 --> 0:34:14.560
<v Speaker 1>you all to remember things. If you're down in the dumps,

0:34:15.200 --> 0:34:17.120
<v Speaker 1>just embrace it because there's nowhere to go but up.

0:34:17.760 --> 0:34:22.040
<v Speaker 1>And when you're at the peak of the mountaintop, just

0:34:22.239 --> 0:34:24.399
<v Speaker 1>enjoy the fuck out of it because you will roll

0:34:24.440 --> 0:34:26.640
<v Speaker 1>down soon. But don't worry because once you get to

0:34:26.680 --> 0:34:28.640
<v Speaker 1>the bottom, it's get tiking again.

0:34:29.040 --> 0:34:34.080
<v Speaker 2>There you go. That's life, baby, life, That is life life.

0:34:34.120 --> 0:34:35.840
<v Speaker 2>That showbiz, baby.

0:34:35.640 --> 0:34:38.920
<v Speaker 1>That's showbiz. That's sobriety for you. Yeah, you guys, I

0:34:38.960 --> 0:34:41.480
<v Speaker 1>appreciate you writing in to to give them la pod

0:34:42.239 --> 0:34:44.080
<v Speaker 1>Instagram page. By the way, can I tell you how

0:34:44.120 --> 0:34:45.879
<v Speaker 1>much I love that we'll give them La La Pod

0:34:45.960 --> 0:34:50.600
<v Speaker 1>because I call my crew the pod that you're not cute,

0:34:50.640 --> 0:34:55.239
<v Speaker 1>that is cute. I just realized I appreciate all of

0:34:55.280 --> 0:34:57.640
<v Speaker 1>your sober stories. You guys are awesome. I know that

0:34:57.640 --> 0:35:00.759
<v Speaker 1>those are not easy to tell, but you're in the

0:35:00.760 --> 0:35:02.920
<v Speaker 1>same boat as me and I kind of.

0:35:02.880 --> 0:35:05.200
<v Speaker 2>Fun and there were so many so if you ever

0:35:05.200 --> 0:35:07.520
<v Speaker 2>want to do it again like that was really great

0:35:07.560 --> 0:35:08.440
<v Speaker 2>for everyone to write in.

0:35:08.600 --> 0:35:10.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, we'll do it again. I love you guys,

0:35:10.680 --> 0:35:12.600
<v Speaker 1>thank you for listening, and I will catch you on

0:35:12.680 --> 0:35:15.080
<v Speaker 1>Wednesday and for the bonus episode next Monda