1 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 1: Hi babe, Welcome back to the bonus episode of The 2 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 1: Gift That l LA Podcast. This episode is going to 3 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 1: probably be the first that is nearest and dearest to 4 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 1: my heart and soul. Today. I've partnered with Ninja Thirsty 5 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: to bring you this episode. It is all about sobriety. 6 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:33,199 Speaker 1: I'm approaching six years one day at a time, but 7 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:38,559 Speaker 1: six years in October October twenty second, and that's kind 8 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 1: of when I feel that my life became real and 9 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: it was. It is the proudest thing I've ever done 10 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:54,120 Speaker 1: in my life, besides becoming a mom, but I think 11 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: beyond being a mom, this is probably the number one 12 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: thing that I'm proudest of because my sobriety has allowed 13 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: me to be the mom that I want to be. 14 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 1: I've asked you guys to share some of your sober stories, 15 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 1: and I'm grateful for whoever is like feeling comfortable to 16 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:15,120 Speaker 1: open up about their sober journey because it is not easy. 17 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: A lot of people don't like to venture into their 18 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: rock bottom moment. That's one of my most favorite things 19 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 1: to do because it reminds me why I'm here. And 20 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 1: I think we got a lot of people who have 21 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: sent in notes and videos, so I'd like to just 22 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,200 Speaker 1: kind of get it pop in now. 23 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I got a lot of beautiful, beautiful things, and 24 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,200 Speaker 2: I feel like we'll save a ton of these two 25 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:40,040 Speaker 2: for another episode, law, because there's so many, Okay, And 26 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 2: I just know people are always asking about your sobriety story, 27 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 2: even though you talk about it all the time. No, no, 28 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 2: all the time. But I'm like, she's You're always like 29 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 2: bringing it up, which I love. And then people are like, 30 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 2: she never talks about her sobriety, and I'm like, we 31 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 2: want to know the story. 32 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 3: You say you're sober, but I do. I can see 33 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 3: where they're coming from if they want the in depth. 34 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 3: It's behind the. 35 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 1: Scenes the bts of this silver lifestyle. Yeah, so I 36 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: tell you how the sparkling water, yeah, which the partnership 37 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,920 Speaker 1: just made sense. I will say though, now that we 38 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 1: that I have chronic heartburn, the ninja thirsty stays with 39 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 1: no bubbles and just the flavor because like, I can 40 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:25,959 Speaker 1: handle no bubbles. 41 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,799 Speaker 2: Really, Oh, I jack my bubbles up right now. Especially 42 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,679 Speaker 2: I've been doing going on the rooftop of my apartment. Yeah, 43 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 2: to just like chill on Sundays, and I'm not drinking 44 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 2: right now. So I'm like, just because I don't want to, 45 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,359 Speaker 2: it makes me feel yucky. So I jack up the 46 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 2: bubbles because you told me to put in the flavors, 47 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 2: and then I bring it up to the rooftop. I'll 48 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 2: do three of them in a giant water bottle so 49 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 2: it stays cold and I just sip all freaking morning 50 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:48,960 Speaker 2: laud in the sun. 51 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:53,960 Speaker 1: Oh she's a bubbly bitch. I'll be back at it 52 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 1: come September. 53 00:02:56,280 --> 00:03:00,080 Speaker 2: Okay, So first one, we did get a lot of 54 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 2: of a lot of things. We didn't get a ton 55 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 2: of videos, but I get that that's a very this 56 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 2: is a very vulnerable thing to write in with. So 57 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:12,360 Speaker 2: let's play this first one from Rita on the Rocks. Rita, 58 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 2: thank you for sending this video. You guys will see 59 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 2: it in the YouTube video. 60 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 4: Hey Lala, my name is Ritaz and the Rocks. I 61 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 4: got so excited when I saw this message because sobriety 62 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 4: is so important to me. Plus, I wrote to you 63 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 4: a couple of weeks ago and was telling you my 64 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,239 Speaker 4: story about gambling and how I had two and a 65 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 4: half years clean off the bed and I relapsed and 66 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 4: hit a second bottom and when they say, you go 67 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 4: back out there, it's worse, when it's so much worse, 68 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 4: so much worse. I always knew I laid gambling. My 69 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 4: brother was a the drug addict that took his life. 70 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 4: My dad and I found him when I was fourteen, 71 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 4: and my mom passed away when I was sixteen. I 72 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 4: claim from a broken heart after what happened to Anthony, 73 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 4: and I really want to get the message out there 74 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 4: about gambling. It is an epidemic in this country. It's 75 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 4: it's spread into state after state, and I mean in Ohio, 76 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 4: they are quote sending advertisements to to underage kids. 77 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:18,840 Speaker 3: Yo. 78 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,799 Speaker 4: I go on the boardwalk up here in New Jersey. 79 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,040 Speaker 4: I'm in Wildwood, New Jersey. Your kpe mang up on 80 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:28,360 Speaker 4: the boardwalk. It's like many casinos, but it is tickets thingts, tickets, tickets. 81 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 2: What we're doing is groominal. 82 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 4: We're just grooming the youngiges. 83 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 2: So that is that's the second video. So I think 84 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,839 Speaker 2: it cut off a little, but obviously gambling. 85 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:40,039 Speaker 1: Rita on the rocks. I wonder where her email went. 86 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, the email really quick, just because I'm gonna see 87 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 2: she does she mean DMS? 88 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: If she did DMS. But either way she got to me. 89 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 1: Now I agree with her. I think that the gambling 90 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: is definitely an epidemic, and I have to say it's 91 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: some one thing that I didn't experience in my childhood, 92 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 1: just because I came from Utah, and like when we 93 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 1: would go to Vegas, Dad wasn't really into gambling. My 94 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,600 Speaker 1: mom still to this day tells me, don't go to pavilions. 95 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,280 Speaker 1: Yet I have a coupon, so that bitch certainly ain't 96 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 1: trying to give her pennies away. She's trying to save them. 97 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:23,719 Speaker 1: But I was kind of in the gambling world when 98 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 1: I got with my ex, and it just did not 99 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 1: interest me. It felt like a very dark place for 100 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:36,120 Speaker 1: many reasons. Her saying that when you go back out there, 101 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: like once you've been clean from something, whether it's gambling, alcohol, drugs, 102 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,839 Speaker 1: when you start dabbling, that it's very dark and it's 103 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:50,279 Speaker 1: so much worse I can imagine, because you've reached such 104 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:55,480 Speaker 1: a milestone, right with two years, and then you already 105 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 1: have to deal with the guilt and the shame before 106 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,359 Speaker 1: you got sober, and then you hit the milestone and 107 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 1: then you relapse, think about the shame. Then, can I. 108 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,800 Speaker 2: Ask you about that? And this kind of has to do. 109 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:09,320 Speaker 1: With both of you. 110 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 2: Is is there a rule? Because I was talking to 111 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 2: a friend the other day who said I was sober 112 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 2: for three years and then I relapsed, and it was 113 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 2: really hard for me. I couldn't mentally deal with the 114 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,600 Speaker 2: fact of, like I just start again from day one. 115 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,160 Speaker 2: So for me, I had to go no, no, no, 116 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 2: I relapse one day, I'm back on and I am 117 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 2: sober again. But it was one day relapse, and she 118 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 2: was like, if I had to say, oh, I'm back, 119 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 2: I think I would have spiraled. Is there a like us? 120 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,479 Speaker 1: Like she just picked up where she left off. 121 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 2: And when people ask, she still says like three and 122 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,839 Speaker 2: a half years or something, But technically there was a 123 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,600 Speaker 2: relapse day. I mean it could be. 124 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: I think sobriety is one size or is not one 125 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 1: size fits all. It's kind of like whatever keeps you 126 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: mentally stable. I don't know if she's a the program 127 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:05,279 Speaker 1: or not. I certainly would have her start from scratch 128 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,160 Speaker 1: the time, but if that messes with her mentally, then 129 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:13,240 Speaker 1: like you don't want to trigger anybody. But for example, 130 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 1: like I had a friend whose sponsor relapsed, they could 131 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 1: no longer be her sponsor because you can't. You need 132 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 1: at least a year under your belt and all of 133 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 1: the steps done before you can sponsor somebody. You also 134 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 1: can't have more time than your sponsor, right, so if 135 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 1: she were my sponsor, she couldn't be that anymore. Oh okay, 136 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: I see, because the whole point is to not fall 137 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 1: back into that. Like, thank god, it was just one 138 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 1: day for her. I don't know. I guess it would 139 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 1: depend on who you ask. 140 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 2: But back to Rita, you were saying, yeah, your shirt's 141 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 2: very dark. Did you ever because I remember when we 142 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 2: went over an episode of vander Pump you were like, 143 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 2: maybe I'm as understood this, but you were like I 144 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,680 Speaker 2: was saying I was sober, but I kind of was 145 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,440 Speaker 2: still drinking. Did you ever say you were sober and 146 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 2: then have a little relapse or try to be sober 147 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 2: and couldn't or no. 148 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: No, it was for me. I told I would say 149 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,760 Speaker 1: I'm not drinking right now, got it? 150 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 2: Okay. 151 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,760 Speaker 1: I didn't say that I was a sober person because 152 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 1: I wasn't. But they're like a few years back, on 153 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 1: way more than a few now, A few years back 154 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: when that happened, I was going to AA meetings but 155 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 1: I was smoking weed and then all of a sudden 156 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 1: it like hit me. I was like, I'm making a 157 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: mockery of this entire program, Like these women fight hard 158 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 1: every day to not pick up anything to take them 159 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 1: out of their reality, and I'm sitting here like coming 160 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,200 Speaker 1: to the meeting and then smacking my pen like the 161 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 1: moment that I get back to the apartment. So then 162 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,959 Speaker 1: I had to deal with all that guilt when I 163 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 1: re entered AA to talk about all the things that 164 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: I was not proud of in my addiction. But Rita 165 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 1: on the rocks, like for her to open up about 166 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 1: an addiction like that, one that I can't relate to, 167 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,679 Speaker 1: but I know definitely exists in many people. And I 168 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 1: agree they are like they are sending that shit to 169 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 1: the youngins. It's a huge issue. And my mom always said, 170 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 1: do you think that the casinos would be this nice 171 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,120 Speaker 1: and big if people were winning all the time. 172 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,400 Speaker 2: It's so true, right, so true? 173 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 1: So I never like I remember going with my ex 174 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 1: and he would give me chips to go gamble. Gosh out, motherfucker, 175 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 1: I pocketed that shit two seconds, right, I'm more yeah, no, 176 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 1: or like I would spend I'll be like I'll spend 177 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: a couple hundred and that like two hundred, and that's it. 178 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,480 Speaker 2: Once I lose, I'm like two hundred. 179 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 4: Right. 180 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,160 Speaker 1: If you beg two. 181 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 3: Hundred, my mom would go, why don't we just put 182 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,400 Speaker 3: that into investments. 183 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,840 Speaker 1: I would never. 184 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:00,199 Speaker 2: Really even on slots. I just did to have fun. 185 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 1: Two hundred dollars, Are you crazy? I'm kidding. 186 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 3: I got fifty bucks out to go play blackjack with 187 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,440 Speaker 3: Tap Good and I looked at the fifty bucks and 188 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 3: I was like, I don't really need to play that much. 189 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,960 Speaker 3: I kept it, so I just kept fifty bucks. It's like, eh, 190 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 3: I like it in my hand. 191 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, I can tell. I think a lot of people can't, 192 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 2: or they're up, and then they I'm just like okay. 193 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 2: Or if I'm up, that's another thing. If I'm up 194 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,320 Speaker 2: more than twenty five percent, if I'm at two fifty, 195 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 2: I cash. 196 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,440 Speaker 1: I can't do percentages, so I won't even know if 197 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: I was up twenty five percent. Hold on, let's see 198 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 1: how many decimals. 199 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 2: On my favorite. By the way, that's not twenty five percent. 200 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 2: What fifty is not twenty five percent of two hundred. 201 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: It's okay. When you're you're on a podcast fifty would. 202 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,480 Speaker 2: Be, Oh, yes it is, is it going, guys getting this? 203 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: She went to college. I didn't grab No, But there's 204 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:55,680 Speaker 1: so many things that like people don't take into account 205 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 1: that you can become addicted to, Like anything at any 206 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 1: point in time can be become an extremely unhealthy addiction. 207 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 1: Like me though, thinking about well, even if it's gambling, 208 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 1: like the amount of alcohol money I'd spent on alcohol. 209 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,280 Speaker 1: When I would wake up and see those receipts, I 210 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 1: was like. 211 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,800 Speaker 3: Let's talk about candy crush up, little gambler. 212 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 1: You no, No, But then can I tell you when 213 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:30,640 Speaker 1: I knew that I was exiting my it was a pandemic, right, 214 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: a pandemic. 215 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 2: Handy crush made out so well in the pandemic. 216 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 3: Everyone did that, but they didn't mean anybody else, but. 217 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 1: I was crushing it. And now when I see that 218 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 1: I'm out of lives, I'll make myself wait like forty 219 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,839 Speaker 1: eight hours, seventy two hours, because then they're like so 220 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 1: excited that you've come back that they give you Hella 221 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: spoons in like an hour of unlimited playtime, so you 222 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 1: don't run out of spoons. 223 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 2: She just gave you that, you guys. 224 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,200 Speaker 1: So I wasn't addicted, but I doesn't, Or I wasn't 225 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:07,000 Speaker 1: you were addictous. I wasn't addicted. I was, but that's 226 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,840 Speaker 1: when I had two incomes coming into that household. Well, 227 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 1: I thought, I. 228 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:19,360 Speaker 2: So uh this Liam wrote in I can read it 229 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 2: my sobriety story. I started drinking at thirteen, and throughout 230 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,120 Speaker 2: my teen years. This spiraled into excessive binge drinking, but 231 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,839 Speaker 2: I justified it as everyone was doing it. Over time, 232 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,440 Speaker 2: I made light of the fact I would quote drink 233 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,120 Speaker 2: my problems away again. Many people would joke like this. 234 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,400 Speaker 2: I could always handle my alcohol very well until I couldn't. 235 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,719 Speaker 2: There was always an over the cliff moment, and there 236 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,000 Speaker 2: was no coming back. There was no stopping and no 237 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,959 Speaker 2: control until I'd blackout. I drank through dealing with my sexuality, 238 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 2: through not feeling good enough, and just generally through any issues. 239 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,679 Speaker 2: When my friends were all coupling up and I wasn't, 240 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 2: I would sit and drink at home, sometimes up to 241 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,560 Speaker 2: three bottles of wine in a sitting. I was only 242 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 2: around two twenty six at this point. I started to 243 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,360 Speaker 2: fear the concept of blacking out, hated forgetting everything, and 244 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 2: hated not knowing how people felt. About me after I'd 245 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 2: been drinking, so I tried to control it. For a 246 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:14,320 Speaker 2: couple of years. I managed to balance it well. I 247 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,400 Speaker 2: got into a long term relationship and we often liked 248 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 2: to drink together. Then my dad died, and again every 249 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 2: drink was for a sense of solace. I continued to 250 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 2: spiral down, slower, darker, longer. This time, I didn't particularly 251 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:31,040 Speaker 2: realize it was happening, despite the odd flag of concern 252 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 2: from those around me. I blacked out at both of 253 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 2: our weddings. We had a smaller ceremony and then a 254 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:41,160 Speaker 2: larger celebration. Oh when you got married. Sorry, honestly I 255 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,400 Speaker 2: missed a lot, but every time I had a drink, 256 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,920 Speaker 2: I felt this false confidence that it was filling a void. 257 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 2: Eventually I hit rock bottom and my character was out 258 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:53,080 Speaker 2: of control. In one night, I nearly lost everything, acting 259 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 2: with aggression, getting lost on a night out, waking up 260 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,120 Speaker 2: on a park bench with my pants down. Oh my god, 261 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,280 Speaker 2: I just got goosebumps. I had no idea what that 262 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,120 Speaker 2: night became or who I became. The next day, I 263 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 2: swore I would never drink again. Repairing the damage took longer, 264 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,760 Speaker 2: but I've stuck to that and will be two years 265 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:14,640 Speaker 2: end of October. Wow, I had no this is the last. 266 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,400 Speaker 2: I had no previous knowledge or experience of sobriety in 267 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 2: my life, but I was a big fan of vander 268 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,160 Speaker 2: Pump Rules, so Lala actually became a very big inspiration 269 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 2: to me in the process. Since I went sober too, 270 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 2: more of my friends have and I've supported them best 271 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 2: I can. 272 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 1: That is amazing. 273 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 3: What's amazing is you as well, you Liam, Congratulations, congratulations 274 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,280 Speaker 3: to both October. 275 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: Look at that. You know a lot of people get 276 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 1: sober in October, and I'm very, very proud you said 277 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:49,080 Speaker 1: his name's Liam. Yeah, that's absolutely amazing. And that's how 278 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,760 Speaker 1: it does start. Though, by the way, and I've heard 279 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,040 Speaker 1: people say I didn't have I had my first drink 280 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 1: at thirteen. I had my first drink at twenty one, 281 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,840 Speaker 1: And for some reason, we've all ended up in the 282 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: And when I say in the room, I mean in 283 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 1: an AA meeting. And there's just no way to do it. 284 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:10,920 Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that everybody should be sober, because 285 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,920 Speaker 1: I think if you're a Norman, you can enjoy a 286 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 1: cocktail or a glass of wine and you don't affect 287 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 1: people in a negative way around you, then there's no harm, right, 288 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:25,600 Speaker 1: But I do think that most people could benefit from 289 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 1: sobriety just because I feel like that it's also an 290 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 1: epidemic where life is really really chaotic and we're trying 291 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: to escape reality. But I completely relate to their story 292 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 1: because it does start like I didn't have my first 293 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 1: drink until I was eighteen, when I texted my friend 294 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,000 Speaker 1: and I was like, you know, I went through all 295 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,240 Speaker 1: of high school and all of my friends had these 296 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:53,080 Speaker 1: like really fun moments of like being drunk, and like, 297 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: I feel like I didn't get to experience that right. 298 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 1: And I was the type of person who would rarely drink. 299 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:07,200 Speaker 1: I probably drink once twice a month, and it just 300 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,640 Speaker 1: it's still changed. You know, there was something inside of 301 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,520 Speaker 1: me that was addicted and I was fueling it the 302 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 1: entire time. But it does start as like the confidence booster. 303 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,400 Speaker 1: You don't have confidence, You're you're feeling like the hair's 304 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 1: not sitting right, you don't like the way your makeup is, 305 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 1: you're insecure about your body. You have a drink and 306 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 1: you're like, suddenly you could approach anybody in the room 307 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 1: with confidence. 308 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:35,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's what you think it is yeah, a 309 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 2: game changer too. Though there's a lot of people attracted 310 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,040 Speaker 2: to confidence. I have someone in my life very close 311 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,240 Speaker 2: to me who I'm like having this talk with constantly, 312 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:47,160 Speaker 2: and he's like, I get crippling anxiety. If I don't drink, 313 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 2: I can't make friends. And he's like, I want to 314 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 2: make friends. He lives in a new place. He's like, 315 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 2: so I need to drink. Like, I literally go out 316 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 2: and I can't speak to anybody. I look like a weirdo. 317 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,360 Speaker 2: The second I have a couple of drinks, I'm like 318 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,960 Speaker 2: the light of the part. I'm like, you know, he 319 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,720 Speaker 2: goes and I have friends now, and I'm like, ugh, 320 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 2: it's really hard. 321 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:08,280 Speaker 1: I'm sure he's not abusing it. But see that's where 322 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,720 Speaker 1: I think the room could benefit him, because those are 323 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 1: how a lot of the stories happen. And all of 324 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,920 Speaker 1: this sudden you realize, oh, I'm not the only one 325 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:21,440 Speaker 1: in this room with crippling anxiety. Like we all have it. 326 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,439 Speaker 1: It's just something that's kind of taken over and we 327 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:28,560 Speaker 1: think that with a couple drinks, we have the confidence. 328 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:32,920 Speaker 1: Like they said, Liam, it's a false confidence. You start 329 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 1: getting sloppy. It's not cute. People start talking behind your 330 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 1: back about your drinking. It's not a good feeling. And 331 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,439 Speaker 1: then when you suffer great loss and it becomes the 332 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:47,359 Speaker 1: numbing tool, then you are in the darkest hole of 333 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,399 Speaker 1: your entire life because alcohol is a depressant. And I 334 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,720 Speaker 1: love when people are like, well, tequila is not it's 335 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,159 Speaker 1: made with a gave, Like the fuck off. 336 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,679 Speaker 2: Alcohol is poisoning all alcohol is poisoning you, literally, like, 337 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,359 Speaker 2: please stop, Liam, you I see this photo of you 338 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 2: and your partner and your dog, absolutely so cute and thriving. 339 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,199 Speaker 2: I do have to say, even after your wedding, you 340 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:13,720 Speaker 2: sharing that like blacking out during both your weddings. I 341 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,399 Speaker 2: don't know if your partner. It sounds like your partner 342 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 2: supported you, in which case that's also very beautiful. I 343 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,600 Speaker 2: think it looks like you're still together. 344 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 1: Yep. 345 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:24,800 Speaker 3: And shout out to Liam for being there for the 346 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,520 Speaker 3: two friends as well and doing right. 347 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,919 Speaker 1: Yea, here for them while still battling him. That's the 348 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: gift of sobriety. When people around you start looking at 349 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 1: you and they're like, I want what you have, you know, 350 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,439 Speaker 1: that's a that's a really powerful moment. 351 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, you started the train right there. 352 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:45,280 Speaker 1: Remember that and I live my life that way now, 353 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,960 Speaker 1: like sobriety. Even if you're not a sober person. I 354 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,760 Speaker 1: think anyone could benefit from reading the Big Book or 355 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 1: the twelve Steps, because it's just about kind of becoming 356 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,199 Speaker 1: a better person. And they're not expecting you to like 357 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,399 Speaker 1: read this book and now you're different, but you know 358 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:06,240 Speaker 1: you're constantly redoing steps. I was on step four for 359 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,200 Speaker 1: years on end, and I thought I was finally gonna 360 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,479 Speaker 1: be over it, and then life hit me like a 361 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: ton of bricks at the Americana one day amends, I'm like, resentments, okay, 362 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:19,240 Speaker 1: and I'm like. 363 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got some built up respect. 364 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 1: That's what's going to take a minute. And you know, 365 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,040 Speaker 1: all of season ten, my sponsor would be like, we've 366 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,440 Speaker 1: got you're you're angry, and I'm like, it's got to 367 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: be enough to just not pick up a drink right now. 368 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: I can't do I can't work the steps right now 369 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:38,680 Speaker 1: in an authentic way. It'll be bullshit. I'm pissed off. 370 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,240 Speaker 2: Right and you gotta feel it. You can't move on 371 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,920 Speaker 2: to the next Is that how it works? You can't 372 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,359 Speaker 2: like skip a step and be like, welly, I'm on 373 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:45,920 Speaker 2: step six, but I didn't finish step four. 374 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,440 Speaker 1: When you first get sober, you should do one through 375 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 1: twelve in order. Okay, But then throughout your sobriety you're 376 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:56,040 Speaker 1: gonna be revisiting steps all the time. Oh that's good 377 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,920 Speaker 1: to know. See, that's like it's a constant. You're gonna 378 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,359 Speaker 1: be going back and re reading the big book. That's 379 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,639 Speaker 1: why I highly recommend when someone comes to me in 380 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 1: my DMS or you know, on the streets and they're 381 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,480 Speaker 1: just like, I think I have a drinking problem, what 382 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,800 Speaker 1: do you recommend I do? I'm like, first and foremost, 383 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 1: get the book and start reading, and anything that resonates 384 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:19,680 Speaker 1: with you, highlight fold the page because you will feel 385 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:25,359 Speaker 1: like that book was written for you specifically, you know. Yeah. 386 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 2: So this is from Jessica. And like I've mentioned, we 387 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 2: get the podcast gets a ton of DMS and we 388 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,399 Speaker 2: do our best to keep up, but they'll get buried 389 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:39,560 Speaker 2: on one another. So Jessica messaged for this, in which 390 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 2: case she put an arrow upwards. So January twenty sixth, 391 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,760 Speaker 2: twenty twenty three, Jessica messaged the podcast which we did 392 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 2: not see. Hilala and jess this will and may seem silly, 393 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 2: but I'm struggling very hard with alcoholism. I don't know 394 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,040 Speaker 2: how to get off this horrible ride. If I stop, 395 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 2: I feel sick. I look up to you for hope, 396 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,679 Speaker 2: and I know things can and will get better. I 397 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 2: just don't know where to start. I love your podcast, 398 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,640 Speaker 2: and you give me so much hope for my future. 399 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 2: I'm unsure of what I'm writing for. Maybe this is 400 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,080 Speaker 2: just appreciation for the work you do every day, and 401 00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,320 Speaker 2: I hope one day I'll be in your sober shoes. 402 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,240 Speaker 2: Love you all, Ocean included. Thank you for all of 403 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,640 Speaker 2: your honesty. God bless all of you now. Yesterday rit 404 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:21,400 Speaker 2: sin okay with an arrow up pointing okay, wild. Long 405 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:23,840 Speaker 2: story short. I was drinking a fifth of vodka or 406 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,960 Speaker 2: more a day on the verge of losing my job 407 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 2: and was being incredibly irresponsible with my body and finances. 408 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:35,199 Speaker 2: I quit drinking cold turkey, experienced hallucinations and horrible withdraws 409 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 2: for about four days, isolated myself at my older brother's house, 410 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,679 Speaker 2: and just went through it. I'm now thirteen months, so, 411 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm getting a hill. Thirteen months so 412 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,639 Speaker 2: no alcohol, no weed, nothing. I run a department of 413 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:52,760 Speaker 2: twenty associates, am almost debt free and about thirty pounds later, 414 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:57,040 Speaker 2: almost four months celibate, not necessarily by choice, but it's 415 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 2: it's so hard having sober sex anyway, I don't mind. 416 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,399 Speaker 2: Here it is and so much happier. I was a 417 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 2: zombie before, so careless and reckless. I now have purpose 418 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,199 Speaker 2: and meaning in my life, a sense of self, with 419 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:13,160 Speaker 2: a sense of self without my identity being tied to vodka. 420 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,679 Speaker 2: Thank you for being transparent about your journey, and I 421 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,560 Speaker 2: can say without a doubt it's helped this lost little bird. 422 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:22,199 Speaker 2: It's been the most vulnerable year of my life, but 423 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:25,240 Speaker 2: it's freeing being so fucking real with yourself, admitting faults 424 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,320 Speaker 2: and apologizing to those you love for the ways you've 425 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,439 Speaker 2: wrong them. I have a supportive and loving team, and 426 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 2: I'm so blessed to be where I am today thanks 427 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 2: to my sister in laws and brothers kindness. They let 428 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 2: me live with them. 429 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,480 Speaker 1: Ah, that's amazing. 430 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:39,320 Speaker 3: We have tears. 431 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,120 Speaker 2: Wow, this is absolutely beautiful. 432 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:47,200 Speaker 1: First, I'm very sorry that we missed yes that message. 433 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 2: January twenty sixth, twenty twenty three, but I think it. 434 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,400 Speaker 3: Was meant to be that we missed it, and we 435 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 3: were supposed to find it today. 436 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,000 Speaker 1: You know, Wow, I feel God in the universe work 437 00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:59,640 Speaker 1: in very mysterious ways that we don't understand until suddenly 438 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,919 Speaker 1: it all makes sense. Thirteen months sober, that's absolutely incredible. 439 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,720 Speaker 1: I would say the first thirty days is the most difficult. 440 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 1: The next thirty days is going to be really fucking difficult. 441 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,560 Speaker 1: And they call it a pink cloud. So my most 442 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:16,960 Speaker 1: favorite thing, and also what makes me the most terrified, 443 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 1: is when I have somebody approach me talking to me 444 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: about their sobriety and they love it so much, and 445 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 1: I love that for them. But what happens is you 446 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:32,479 Speaker 1: sink into the reality of I'm a sober person and 447 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,960 Speaker 1: I can't This isn't something that I'm ever going to conquer. 448 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,920 Speaker 1: I have to work out every day. And the reason 449 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,639 Speaker 1: I know about the pink cloud is because when I 450 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:45,239 Speaker 1: discovered sobriety and I would walk in to my I 451 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,239 Speaker 1: call her my angel. She's the one that gave me 452 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:53,480 Speaker 1: or presented the Brent Shapiro ash Spirit Award. Yeah, Ashley, 453 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,960 Speaker 1: we had her on the podcast. Okay, She's the first 454 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,280 Speaker 1: person I called when I got sober or wanted to 455 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,720 Speaker 1: get sober. But she I would come in every single 456 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 1: Thursday and be like, I just love being sober. Okay, 457 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:11,439 Speaker 1: we're on the pink cloud. She's like, I want you 458 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 1: to remember, I'm thrilled for you and every day is 459 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,199 Speaker 1: going to be a gift that you stay sober. But 460 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,120 Speaker 1: the pink cloud you get knocked off of it real 461 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:23,680 Speaker 1: quick because life will still happen. It does not solve 462 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:27,360 Speaker 1: all your problems. The difference is your life becomes manageable. 463 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:33,200 Speaker 1: And I was like, well manageable. I mean, I've been 464 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,800 Speaker 1: managing shit my whole life, you know, But that really 465 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:40,960 Speaker 1: is the difference. I've gone through the hardest times of 466 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:46,960 Speaker 1: my life being sober, and it's like, what would this 467 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,200 Speaker 1: have turned into had I been drinking. 468 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:52,480 Speaker 3: Oh no. 469 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 1: So the fact that her rock bottom looked very different 470 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 1: than mine, It essentially doesn't matter what the rock bottom 471 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:07,080 Speaker 1: moment is, right, whether it's like not that bad or 472 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,520 Speaker 1: I know, I've sat in rooms with people who their 473 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 1: rock bottoms are like absolutely devastating, life altering, right, But 474 00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 1: the point is we're in the room, and it does 475 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 1: take a while to go around and apologize and make amends, 476 00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:27,160 Speaker 1: you know, step nine and the people who don't want 477 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:31,679 Speaker 1: to forgive you. It's all good. Because you know that 478 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,040 Speaker 1: you've conquered, not conquered. I shouldn't say that word. You 479 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:38,639 Speaker 1: haven't conquered the beast, but you've admitted that you are 480 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:42,119 Speaker 1: the problem, that you're powerless over alcohol, and you're not 481 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 1: who you really are when you're under the influence people 482 00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:49,520 Speaker 1: who you want to apologize for things that you may 483 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,720 Speaker 1: have done to them that they don't know about. And 484 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,800 Speaker 1: they're thriving in life, so why the fuck would you 485 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: go and make them aware of something you've done. You 486 00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:00,479 Speaker 1: write the note and you throw it away where you 487 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,639 Speaker 1: burn it. You know. There's like so many ways of 488 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:08,720 Speaker 1: like saying sorry to somebody, and the people that forgive 489 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,320 Speaker 1: you those are the ones that, like your heart kind 490 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:12,320 Speaker 1: of melts for right. 491 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I could do that, not even 492 00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:17,000 Speaker 2: in sobriety. 493 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:18,840 Speaker 1: Like that just seems like that's what I mean. 494 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, Yeah. 495 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:24,000 Speaker 1: The book is beneficial to everybody. Yeah, it's just teaching 496 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:25,720 Speaker 1: you how to be a kind person. There are moments 497 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,160 Speaker 1: where you fall off and you're like me, not drinking 498 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:32,359 Speaker 1: just has to be enough. Me not being a major 499 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 1: see you next Tuesday just has to be enough. Right now, 500 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 1: I can't deal with the steps I can't apologize to 501 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,760 Speaker 1: this person. I for damn sure, I'm not taking accountability 502 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,720 Speaker 1: in this situation. She's about to say. 503 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 3: It's almost like it just takes you have to take 504 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,040 Speaker 3: accountability for everything that you felt like you've done wrong. 505 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,119 Speaker 3: Just in the book sober or not. I think like 506 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:51,680 Speaker 3: it would be a very good thing to even look 507 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,560 Speaker 3: back and be like, Okay, I did them dirty, not 508 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,800 Speaker 3: even sober or drunk. But I feel like the apology 509 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,280 Speaker 3: should be there, you know. 510 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,919 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean they're incredibly difficult steps that you have 511 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,720 Speaker 1: to overcome in that book. 512 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:06,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're just saying, like I love when you 513 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 2: say me not drinking just has to be enough. Takes 514 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 2: me back to the more we've talked about on the podcast, 515 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 2: the more general, like even dealing with depression and anxiety. 516 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:17,639 Speaker 2: Sometimes days are like me, waking up today has to 517 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:21,480 Speaker 2: be enough. I have to be like I woke up today, great, 518 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 2: I fred did it. I'm here on earth for another day. 519 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:25,960 Speaker 2: Like there you go. 520 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 1: Well, I think sobriety people who struggle, it allows you 521 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,840 Speaker 1: to have that mindset, you know, where you can wake 522 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:37,800 Speaker 1: up and manage life and your emotions and say today's 523 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,520 Speaker 1: not the greatest of days. I'm going to take it 524 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 1: on the best way that I possibly can. But I'm 525 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:43,199 Speaker 1: not at my rock bottom. 526 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:44,240 Speaker 3: So it's a good day. 527 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:46,320 Speaker 1: Well it's we're going to take it as a win. 528 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,760 Speaker 1: I opened my eyes and I and I. 529 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,159 Speaker 3: Tried yep, yeah, and they everyone should take that as 530 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 3: a win because I sure as yeah. 531 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,879 Speaker 1: There are days, man, that's all all that I can do. 532 00:27:58,200 --> 00:27:58,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. 533 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,200 Speaker 1: Up. 534 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,440 Speaker 2: This is from Jennifer. I have been sober for one 535 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 2: year and two days. My life was complete chaos while 536 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,399 Speaker 2: I was drinking. I had destroyed every relationship with my 537 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 2: family and friends. I met my fiance two and a 538 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,879 Speaker 2: half years ago, and he was a heavy drinker as well. 539 00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,440 Speaker 2: We are both amazed that we are still together after 540 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,480 Speaker 2: everything we've put each other through. We decided together that 541 00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:22,800 Speaker 2: the only way out, the only way our relationship could survive, 542 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,199 Speaker 2: would be for both of us to completely stop drinking. 543 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,399 Speaker 2: The amount of growth we have experienced individually and together 544 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 2: this past year would never have been possible if alcohol 545 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,760 Speaker 2: were still a part of our lives. I have been 546 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 2: watching vander Pump since season one and loved you from 547 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,240 Speaker 2: the very first second I saw you on season four. 548 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 2: I also grew up in Salt Lake, but I'm currently 549 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,960 Speaker 2: in Indiana. I started listening to your podcasts after I 550 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,920 Speaker 2: quit drinking because I knew you were sober. It has 551 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 2: become my favorite podcast. My fiance now watches vander Pump 552 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:55,200 Speaker 2: with me because he appreciates your honesty about your sobriety journey. 553 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 1: That's incredible. Yeah, I think I could be with someone 554 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 1: who was also sobered in the program if we went 555 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 1: through it together. 556 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:04,960 Speaker 2: That is beautiful. 557 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 1: But that is beautiful because that is not the norm. 558 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:13,400 Speaker 1: There's usually always one person who's the enabler of the behavior. 559 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:14,280 Speaker 1: Believe in. 560 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,880 Speaker 3: You say you couldn't be with a sober You say 561 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 3: you would want to be with a man that still drank. 562 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:21,800 Speaker 1: You didn't want to be with this who if they 563 00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,680 Speaker 1: did it together, though, I'm saying if we did it together, 564 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:27,320 Speaker 1: I think it would be a different it would be 565 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,959 Speaker 1: a different situation. You know, we we went through our 566 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:33,360 Speaker 1: drinking days together and now we both are choosing sobriety 567 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:37,560 Speaker 1: and we had like this this epiphany and awakening the 568 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,800 Speaker 1: two of us to like do this together. That's not normal. 569 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:46,240 Speaker 1: The norm is one person always isn't ready to give 570 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 1: it up, and that can it and in you know, 571 00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:53,440 Speaker 1: a relapse for the person who chooses a healthy lifestyle, 572 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 1: or on the rare occasion that the person says like, 573 00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 1: we're just like you're not healthy for me and my 574 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 1: new life choices. So that's a that's an incredible story, and. 575 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:09,760 Speaker 2: Really yeah, that they're together and thriving, the things they 576 00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:13,280 Speaker 2: probably discovered about each other during that and then being 577 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 2: able to have like. 578 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:18,840 Speaker 3: I don't know how she would think thinking about like, oh, 579 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,720 Speaker 3: that's going to be a strong bond right there. 580 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, and what you guys say about like sober sex 581 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,680 Speaker 2: versus drunks, like stuff like that when you're squirting. That 582 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:37,840 Speaker 2: is the day. I hope you squirted, Jennifer. I really cute. 583 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:39,120 Speaker 2: They're so cute. 584 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:40,840 Speaker 1: They're way cute. 585 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 2: I love like a golfer. Their their chic and they 586 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,680 Speaker 2: have like matching glasses. I love you, mother. 587 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,480 Speaker 1: They're but let me tell you something. This is him. 588 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:54,440 Speaker 1: Have you ever really do to Have you ever heard 589 00:30:54,640 --> 00:31:00,160 Speaker 1: anyone say my life really started taking off and I 590 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,720 Speaker 1: started thriving when I started getting super fucked. 591 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:13,520 Speaker 2: Up literally never never hurt, never rappers, even them even then. 592 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:16,800 Speaker 1: It's like Eminem has been so bare over sixteen years. 593 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, Well he wasn't when he was making a shue Yeah, 594 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:20,000 Speaker 3: and it was. 595 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:21,240 Speaker 1: Really really dark. 596 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:25,000 Speaker 2: The girl who say the National Anthem, who everyone was 597 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:26,960 Speaker 2: sending us a video being like Jess was this is 598 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,280 Speaker 2: this usual? It was? And she came out a couple 599 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:33,640 Speaker 2: of days ago and said, I was drunk. I'm humiliated. 600 00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,760 Speaker 2: But there's a video of her singing and she starts 601 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,600 Speaker 2: way too high, way too high. 602 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,120 Speaker 1: It happened to all of us. Sure. I also busted 603 00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,600 Speaker 1: into song on watch Rabin's I'm Not the National Anthem, 604 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 1: and I thought I was killing it. I thought I 605 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:54,120 Speaker 1: was Rihanna. Girl happens. That's what I want to see now, 606 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:57,800 Speaker 1: you guys on the bus season seven, when I'm making 607 00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,440 Speaker 1: everybody like tickle and touch me, and I was, she's 608 00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,920 Speaker 1: on Molly. People love to touch when they're on Molly. 609 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:07,760 Speaker 2: Molly. I've never done Molly or ecstasy nothing. Hell, no, 610 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,280 Speaker 2: are you crazy? It's just alcohol. You were on alcohol. 611 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:14,600 Speaker 1: I liked the things from the earth, mushrooms, mushure. 612 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:15,560 Speaker 2: Were you on mushrooms? 613 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:20,760 Speaker 1: No, it's because I started having the Sunday scaries. I 614 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,040 Speaker 1: had been drinking after not drinking for a chunk of time. 615 00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,520 Speaker 1: Season seven when my dad died. Oh yes, that I 616 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:31,360 Speaker 1: started having alcohol panic. You know when you wake up 617 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,800 Speaker 1: and you may have had like a rough night of drinking, 618 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:38,160 Speaker 1: and you start having the worst anxiety of your fucking 619 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:39,720 Speaker 1: life and you just want to crawl out of your 620 00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,000 Speaker 1: own skin. Yeah, that was me. 621 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 2: And that's why you were having So you were sober, 622 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:45,320 Speaker 2: you were. 623 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:49,120 Speaker 1: Just I was not sober. I had Mexico. When we went, 624 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,440 Speaker 1: I literally say to Shina, Mama hasn't been drunk in 625 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,800 Speaker 1: a while, So I overdo it. And on the bus 626 00:32:55,880 --> 00:33:00,280 Speaker 1: that night, the alcohol had sunk in and I just 627 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:03,520 Speaker 1: had anxiety about my life and I needed people to, like, 628 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,080 Speaker 1: you know how they say, take a risk, like an 629 00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:10,880 Speaker 1: elastic and flick your wrist. Yes, it was similar to 630 00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,720 Speaker 1: me wanting that all over my body so that I 631 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:17,560 Speaker 1: could focus on that and not what your mind. So yes, 632 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:19,240 Speaker 1: it was really. 633 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:22,040 Speaker 3: Out of your mind. 634 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, but there was nothing like I if I could 635 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 1: have had them all just punched me in the face 636 00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:32,440 Speaker 1: over and over, that probably would have worked best. No, 637 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:37,000 Speaker 1: it was the worst experience of my life, of my life. 638 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 1: I hated that entire Yeah. No, sobriety is where it's at, dude. 639 00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,720 Speaker 1: Then sometimes I wish I could get like show people 640 00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:49,160 Speaker 1: like a crystal ball of like your life is gonna happen, 641 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:53,120 Speaker 1: but like, imagine life happening and it not taking you out. Yeah, 642 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:55,320 Speaker 1: and you're like, you know what, I'm a little bummed today, 643 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,760 Speaker 1: but like fuck that, Tomorrow's a new day, Like tomorrow 644 00:33:57,760 --> 00:33:59,800 Speaker 1: could also be ship But guess what, we know that 645 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:01,720 Speaker 1: it's it's not going to be that way forever. Yes, 646 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:02,760 Speaker 1: nothing is forever. 647 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:05,680 Speaker 2: Every day can't be your worst day because even if 648 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,880 Speaker 2: your days continue to get worse, your day before that 649 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:09,360 Speaker 2: was better. 650 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:11,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know what, this is how I want 651 00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,560 Speaker 1: you all to remember things. If you're down in the dumps, 652 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,120 Speaker 1: just embrace it because there's nowhere to go but up. 653 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:22,040 Speaker 1: And when you're at the peak of the mountaintop, just 654 00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,399 Speaker 1: enjoy the fuck out of it because you will roll 655 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,640 Speaker 1: down soon. But don't worry because once you get to 656 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:28,640 Speaker 1: the bottom, it's get tiking again. 657 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:34,080 Speaker 2: There you go. That's life, baby, life, That is life life. 658 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:35,840 Speaker 2: That showbiz, baby. 659 00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,920 Speaker 1: That's showbiz. That's sobriety for you. Yeah, you guys, I 660 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,480 Speaker 1: appreciate you writing in to to give them la pod 661 00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:44,080 Speaker 1: Instagram page. By the way, can I tell you how 662 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:45,879 Speaker 1: much I love that we'll give them La La Pod 663 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:50,600 Speaker 1: because I call my crew the pod that you're not cute, 664 00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:55,239 Speaker 1: that is cute. I just realized I appreciate all of 665 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,640 Speaker 1: your sober stories. You guys are awesome. I know that 666 00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:00,759 Speaker 1: those are not easy to tell, but you're in the 667 00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:02,920 Speaker 1: same boat as me and I kind of. 668 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,200 Speaker 2: Fun and there were so many so if you ever 669 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,520 Speaker 2: want to do it again like that was really great 670 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:08,440 Speaker 2: for everyone to write in. 671 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:10,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we'll do it again. I love you guys, 672 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,600 Speaker 1: thank you for listening, and I will catch you on 673 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,080 Speaker 1: Wednesday and for the bonus episode next Monda