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Speaker 1: Buggle up and hold on tight. We got it for

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Speaker 1: you here. It is the strawberry lettuce subject. My husband

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Speaker 1: has lost his mind. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am a

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Speaker 1: forty seven year old female in my third year of marriage,

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Speaker 1: in my third marriage. My husband and I have been

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Speaker 1: married for five years and he treats me like a queen.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like he hates my seventeen year old daughter.

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Speaker 1: This is his first marriage and he has no children,

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Speaker 1: so it's shocking that he acts like a drill sergeant

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Speaker 1: with my daughter. He calls her lazy and fusses at

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Speaker 1: her constantly about her chores. He expects her to take

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Speaker 1: out the trash daily and do a few other things

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Speaker 1: that I think he should be doing as the man

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Speaker 1: of the house. My daughter is an honor student and

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Speaker 1: in extracurricular activities, so she has a busy schedule during

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Speaker 1: the week. I will admit that she can be lazy

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Speaker 1: and her room is always quite messy, but she is

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Speaker 1: a typical teenager. Despite the way he speaks to her,

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Speaker 1: she is always kind and manerable to him. Her biological

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Speaker 1: father died earlier this year and it affected her, but

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Speaker 1: she's dealt with it. Quite well. My husband has not

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Speaker 1: stepped up in to the role as her dad. He

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Speaker 1: refuses to attend any of her school activities with me.

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Speaker 1: She graduates in June and she's been accepted to a

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Speaker 1: local college that's in our city. She plans to stay

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Speaker 1: at home instead of live on campus because it's a

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Speaker 1: lot less expensive. When my husband found this out, he

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Speaker 1: told me that she could not stay with us anymore.

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Speaker 1: He told me that we are giving her some money

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Speaker 1: for graduation so she can move into her own apartment

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Speaker 1: close to the college. This really made me mad. This

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Speaker 1: is my child and I will not allow her to

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Speaker 1: be mistreated like this. I told him that he needs

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Speaker 1: professional help. This is causing problems in our relationship, but

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Speaker 1: my child comes first. He said, I am being too

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Speaker 1: sensitive and that she needs to be on her own

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Speaker 1: to learn more responsibility. What do you think, please help? Well,

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Speaker 1: I mean I agree with most of what you had

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Speaker 1: to say in your letter. Your husband, I think is

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Speaker 1: out of line and he's way too harsh. I mean

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Speaker 1: there's disciplining and then there's just cruelty, just playing cruelty. Uh.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't understand obviously that when he married you, he

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Speaker 1: also should have taken in your child as well. I mean,

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Speaker 1: she's almost grown, but she's still at home, she's still

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Speaker 1: in school, so she's a child still at this point. Uh,

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Speaker 1: you yourself said that your daughter is respectful, she's an

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Speaker 1: honor student. Uh, she's mannerable with him, she has a

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Speaker 1: busy school schedule, and not to mention that her father

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Speaker 1: just recently passed. Okay, so you have to take all

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Speaker 1: that into consideration. Now, she definitely should keep her room

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Speaker 1: clean and all of that. She shouldn't be lazy. But

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Speaker 1: I haven't heard anything here that says she's any different

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Speaker 1: than uh, any other teenager. I mean, this is kind

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Speaker 1: of this is what I did as a teen. My

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Speaker 1: room was a mess, you know, I could my mom

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Speaker 1: was always calling me to do stuff. Okay, that's what

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Speaker 1: we do as teenagers, Um, as we try to figure

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Speaker 1: it out. Yes, I think your your husband, and your daughter,

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Speaker 1: your whole family should get some type of therapy. I

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Speaker 1: agree with that. You know, I doubt if he'll go though. Um,

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Speaker 1: you have to speak up. You have to speak up

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Speaker 1: more on your behalf, on your daughter's behalf. Uh. It

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Speaker 1: sounds like a situation that's only going to get worse.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I understand that he wants her to have

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Speaker 1: more responsibility and all that and talk to her maybe

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Speaker 1: she will move out on her own, but this is

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Speaker 1: just not the way to handle it. He's being mean

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Speaker 1: and I think he should take out the trash. I

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Speaker 1: do excuse me, uh, he should take it out, Steve.

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Speaker 1: I mean, dude, come on, I mean, really, bro come on, man.

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Speaker 1: Of all the things we need to tend to in

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Speaker 1: this world, of all these things we need to get right,

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Speaker 1: you've chosen her as to what's wrong in this world.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's just just not notice is the one

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Speaker 1: side and let her being written by his lady. But

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Speaker 1: if any of this is true, just as a man,

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Speaker 1: you have to take responsibility to the side of it

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Speaker 1: that we as men have to bear up under. Number one,

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Speaker 1: you chose this woman to be your wife. Your wife

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Speaker 1: has a child. It's a package. It's a package. You

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Speaker 1: gotta understand that going in now. If you love this woman,

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Speaker 1: then you have to love the things that she loves.

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Speaker 1: Her child happens to be something she loves. So now

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Speaker 1: you gotta get with it. You've got You're not her father,

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Speaker 1: but you can be her daddy. But damn dog, y'all

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Speaker 1: don't have a boy, you have a young lady. This

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Speaker 1: is his first marriage and he has no children. So

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Speaker 1: it's shocking that he acts like a drill sergeant with

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Speaker 1: my daughter. No, it's not because he don't know how

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Speaker 1: to raise kids. He has no child rearing experience. So

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Speaker 1: you're talking to this girl like like a drill sergeant.

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Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? Come on, man, what's wrong with you?

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Speaker 1: He calls her lazy and fusses out of constant about

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Speaker 1: her chores. He expects her to take out the trash

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Speaker 1: daily and do a further few things that I think

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Speaker 1: he should be doing this manor house. No, no, no, man,

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Speaker 1: I got four daughters. I've never asked him to take trash.

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Speaker 1: I've never once and any of my four daughters required

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Speaker 1: them to take out the trash. Lauria ain't took no

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Speaker 1: trash out. Morgan ain took no trash out. Brandon corn

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Speaker 1: ain't took no trash out. Now, they damn brothers, their

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Speaker 1: brothers better get they ask something, Get this trash out.

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Speaker 1: Let me come downstairs and the trash care fool, and

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Speaker 1: y'all stay up past me. Now that that's how this worked, dog, Well,

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Speaker 1: what you're trying to teach your good What are you

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Speaker 1: asking your young lady to grow up to be to

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Speaker 1: fend for herself. She don't know how to fit for herself.

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Speaker 1: Let's look at the upside before we talk about what's

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Speaker 1: wrong with the girl. Let's talk about what's right with it.

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Speaker 1: She on honor roll, she's law body, and she's respectful

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Speaker 1: of you at all times. That's a good kid. She

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Speaker 1: on the hot a roll, She respectful and she's law body.

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Speaker 1: This is a good kid. Her room, dirty man, what bro?

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Speaker 1: You got a line? Man? You you gotta do a

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Speaker 1: little growing up here now, the mom says, I will

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Speaker 1: admit she could be lazy in her room is always

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Speaker 1: quite messy, but she's a typical teenager. And that's true.

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Speaker 1: And despite the way he speaks to her, she's always

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Speaker 1: kind and mandable to him. We'll get into the rest

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Speaker 1: of the letter when I get back. I'm gonna tell

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Speaker 1: you what else is wrong with you, dog. And you

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Speaker 1: ain't got to feel this for me therapy for to

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Speaker 1: help your ass. You need to change the way you

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Speaker 1: treat this girl. And you ain't gotta go sit down

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Speaker 1: with nobody to do that. You gotta stop treating her

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Speaker 1: like a little boy and treat her like a princess,

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Speaker 1: because what you're teaching her now is that a man

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Speaker 1: should be yelling at her, a man should be bossing her,

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Speaker 1: and a man should be making her do things. That's

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Speaker 1: what you're training this girl right here. That's why you're

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Speaker 1: a line. All right, Steve, we'll be back now. Yeah, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's pretty cruel. Part two of your response to today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry letter. My husband has lost his mind. You said

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Speaker 1: you were mad when we left for well, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of angry. Just forty seven year old lady.

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Speaker 1: She's on the third marriage. Her husband and her been

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Speaker 1: married for five years, the daughter seventeen. So he's been

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Speaker 1: in the girl's life since she toiled, and probably a

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Speaker 1: little bit before that. Because you just got married five

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Speaker 1: years ago, you probably dated for a period before that.

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Speaker 1: So he's known this girl for over five years. She

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Speaker 1: had a dad in her life, which is probably one

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Speaker 1: of the things he piste off about, and it had

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Speaker 1: some type of relationship. But her biological father has passed

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Speaker 1: and it affected her. She was always respectful to this guy,

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Speaker 1: But this guy just talks to her like a drill.

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Speaker 1: Sergeant call a lazy, fussed her constantly about her wars,

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Speaker 1: expects her to take out the trash daily. You got

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Speaker 1: a little girl, and you want her to take the

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Speaker 1: trash out daily. And y'all could disagree with me if

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Speaker 1: you want to. I'm cool with it. I don't really mind.

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Speaker 1: I've treated my little girls different than I treated my boys.

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Speaker 1: I've never made them girls take out their trash, right,

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Speaker 1: I don't think she why why you know, if you

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Speaker 1: got a man in the house, why is this girl

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Speaker 1: taking this trash? Period? You can call it what you

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Speaker 1: want to call it, but you can call it double

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Speaker 1: standards like you can't be treating it all y'all out

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Speaker 1: that time. Women need to learn how to take care

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Speaker 1: of themselves. The girl is in school as an honor

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Speaker 1: roble student. She's seventeen. She's seventeen. She's respectful and she

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Speaker 1: lave body. She's a great kid. She's just trying to

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Speaker 1: figure it out. She's seventeen. Her room junk is so

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Speaker 1: what qu're going in now? Hell, I just quit going

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Speaker 1: in my kids rooms. Tell live how you want to live,

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Speaker 1: but don't bring that junk out here in the house though,

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Speaker 1: because because our house, they looking nice because Marge ain't

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Speaker 1: having it. So now you're sitting up in here. My

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Speaker 1: daughter is an honor roles duty and extracurriculum activities. She's

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Speaker 1: got a busy schedule during the week. She's a little lazy,

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Speaker 1: probably the way he speaks to her. She's always kind

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Speaker 1: of man and uh manerable to him. Her biological father

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Speaker 1: died this year and it affected her, but she's dealt

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Speaker 1: with it quite well. My husband has not stepped up

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Speaker 1: into the role as her dad. He refuses to attend

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Speaker 1: any of her school activities with me. Yo, bro, are

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Speaker 1: you kidding me? Your wife has one child. You won't

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Speaker 1: attend none of the school events with her? Why now, look, man,

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Speaker 1: if you don't want to be her daddy, you shouldn't

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Speaker 1: have signed up to be the husband because it's a package.

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Speaker 1: And now more than ever, the girl could use a dad.

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Speaker 1: But now her image of a man right now is

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Speaker 1: somebody barking at her, somebody making her take out to trash,

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Speaker 1: somebody constantly be degrading, nor somebody talking to her like

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Speaker 1: a drill sergeant. So now her idea of a man's

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Speaker 1: love is you Are you kidding me? Man? Are you

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Speaker 1: for real? You're wrong on so many levels. She graduates

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Speaker 1: in June. She's been accepted at local college that's in

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Speaker 1: our city. She plans to stay at home instead of

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Speaker 1: live on campus because it's a lot less expensive. Excuse me,

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Speaker 1: And now she's got the nerve to, even in spite

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Speaker 1: of the way you treat her, look out and be

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Speaker 1: responsible enough to say, hey, it would cause you all

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Speaker 1: less money if I just stayed here. Your husband found

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Speaker 1: this out and he told me that she could not

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Speaker 1: stay with us anymore. Bro, are you kidding me? So

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Speaker 1: now she's seventeen, Now she'd probably be eighteen. You're gonna

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Speaker 1: throw the eighteen year old girl out because she ain't

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Speaker 1: staying here with us no more? Dog, what's wrong with you?

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Speaker 1: Have you lost your ever loving mind? He told me

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Speaker 1: that we're giving her some money for graduation so she

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Speaker 1: can move in her own apartment close to the college.

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Speaker 1: This really made me mad. This is my child and

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Speaker 1: I will not allow her to be mistreated like this.

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Speaker 1: I told him that he needs professional help. This is

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Speaker 1: causing problems in our relationship, but my child comes first.

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Speaker 1: He says, I'm being too sensitive. She needs to be

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Speaker 1: on her own to learn more of responsibility. What do

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Speaker 1: you think seventeen ain't the time for a girl to

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Speaker 1: go learn responsibility. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: And now one of my kids had to move out

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Speaker 1: of seventeen, not them girls. Now, soon as them boys

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Speaker 1: get into their second year of college and they get apartments,

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Speaker 1: they asses gone. Don't, can't come, don't, don't even look

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Speaker 1: over here. You can ask Winton right now, dad, what

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Speaker 1: they're doing in my room? Excuse me, excuse me. That's

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Speaker 1: not your room. That's your daddy's new clothes. Yeah no,

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Speaker 1: I turned no, No, the whole room. Yeah no, No,

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Speaker 1: Winter's room is daddy's new closet. Yeah. Yeah. See see

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Speaker 1: you're standing them more Lorie. Jeff smoothed out one Lawrence

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Speaker 1: Steel got a room at the house, Dad, don't take

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Speaker 1: my bed down. Alright, person, all right, I said, all right.

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Speaker 1: She still got a rule, which is other room in

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Speaker 1: l a had already been converted. But it and none

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Speaker 1: of your stuff in here seat, sir. At eighteen is

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Speaker 1: not time for her to go out on her own

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Speaker 1: and learn responsibilities. You can't throw a young girl out

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Speaker 1: to the wolves like that. Uh. First and secondly, this

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Speaker 1: is the wife your wife's daughter. It's a package deal.

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Speaker 1: You can't put the package out because you want to

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Speaker 1: be alone. Uh. First of all, women shouldn't have to

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Speaker 1: take out trash unless they have to, So your ass

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Speaker 1: takes the trash out. Sorry. Right. Secondly, sir, you don't

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Speaker 1: have any parenting skills and you need to develop so. Uh,

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Speaker 1: this is not a boy you're talking to. It's a

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Speaker 1: young lady and she needs a daddy in her life

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Speaker 1: right now. Her father passed. She needs to see a

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Speaker 1: man show some love and respect and kindness to her

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Speaker 1: so she'll get an idea of what love looks like.

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Speaker 1: For now, you throw her out the house. Now, her

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Speaker 1: idea of a man is somebody who barks out of

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Speaker 1: talks in like a drill sergeant requires that she takes

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Speaker 1: out the trash and puts her out. So now you

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Speaker 1: didn't put the little sheep out there with the wolves.

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Speaker 1: What you think gonna happen to this little girl on

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Speaker 1: her own who has no real life skills because you

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Speaker 1: won't show her what real love looking You cannot separate

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Speaker 1: a woman and her child. That's not the way it works.

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Speaker 1: You are wrong in every aspect of this thing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you can go get therapy, like Shirley said, you probably

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Speaker 1: need it, but your ass really just needs to figure

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Speaker 1: out how to treat a child and a female child

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Speaker 1: on topic or Instagram. That's your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: My girl, Shirley like this little girl, but you know,

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Speaker 1: you don't You never know how he grew up. He

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Speaker 1: probably doesn't understand. He doesn't don't care. That's why he

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Speaker 1: needs the can't treat this girl like right, he can't.

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Speaker 1: She can't stay with us no more, kind of don't

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Speaker 1: see anything, alright, alright, More on the Strawberry Letter. When

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Speaker 1: we come back at forty one after the hour, we

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Speaker 1: decided to hold this one over as well. The subject

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Speaker 1: my husband has lost his mind. A forty seven year

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Speaker 1: old woman wrote in She's a wife in her third marriage.

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Speaker 1: She's been married for five years to a man who

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Speaker 1: she says, treats her like a queen but treats her

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Speaker 1: seventeen year old daughter like he hates her. Um. This

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Speaker 1: is his first marriage. He has no children. Uh. Her

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Speaker 1: daughter is seventeen, she's getting ready to graduate. She's an

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Speaker 1: honor student. She has kinds of activities during the week.

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Speaker 1: This man is upset with her because she won't take

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Speaker 1: out the garbage. He calls her lazy. He wants her

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Speaker 1: out of the house when she graduates next month in June.

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Speaker 1: And uh, the wife is just not having it. She

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Speaker 1: doesn't like the way he treats her, her child, and

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Speaker 1: she wants something done about it. She's upset. Uh, the

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Speaker 1: daughter does not want her own apartment or she doesn't

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Speaker 1: want to leave or go stay on campus because it

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Speaker 1: will save them money. So, um, it's causing problems in

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Speaker 1: their relationship. And um, she says, because her child comes first.

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Speaker 1: And uh, she just wants to know what should she

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Speaker 1: do in this situation? What do we think? I just

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Speaker 1: think your husband is beyond mean. He's just a cruel

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Speaker 1: man to this young woman. He's just very cruel. I mean,

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Speaker 1: there's harsh and then there you know, you can discipline

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Speaker 1: a person. She's a regular teenager who keeps their room

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Speaker 1: messy and who can be lazy at times. He doesn't

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Speaker 1: like her, he doesn't like her being in the home

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Speaker 1: with them. He's he's possessive of the wife. He's list

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Speaker 1: you know, probably of their relationship. Stuff like that. She

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Speaker 1: has suggested. The wife has that he gets some therapy

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Speaker 1: and uh. She told him that he needs professional help.

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Speaker 1: But here's the deal. He hasn't responded his child, so

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Speaker 1: he doesn't have that bond. He has no bond. But

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Speaker 1: the mistake he made was asking this woman to marry him.

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Speaker 1: Because a woman who has a child, that's a package.

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Speaker 1: You cannot expect to separate them to a woman. A

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Speaker 1: woman is not going to forsake a child. They're not

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Speaker 1: gonna do it, not not no real mother. No no no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: no no no. You can cart as somewhere else. Now,

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Speaker 1: hold on, partner, I love you, but you can't do

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Speaker 1: what did this baby? No, no, no, you're talking about

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Speaker 1: the one she carried for nine months she gave birth to. No, no,

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Speaker 1: you're not gonna do no harm to her now, and

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Speaker 1: don't push your because you're gonna find out that if

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Speaker 1: she got to make the choice, she, like every other

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Speaker 1: animal in a while, is gonna protect the baby. That's

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Speaker 1: her job. And I mean, what a great kid, Steve.

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Speaker 1: I mean, she just recently lost her own dad. Seems

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Speaker 1: like he would want to step in and just try

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Speaker 1: to be there for her. Now he wants her out

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Speaker 1: because this dude is a simple minded ass that ain't

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Speaker 1: got a damn clue on what giving really means. And

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Speaker 1: you have to learn what giving is. And we as

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Speaker 1: fathers have to set better examples for our daughters as

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Speaker 1: to what real men look like so they can have

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Speaker 1: a better example of what to pick when they get

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Speaker 1: out there. So many women are damaged today because of

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Speaker 1: the relationship that they father did not have with them.

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Speaker 1: So many women are damaged because of that, and so

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Speaker 1: many women end up looking for love and all the

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Speaker 1: wrong places because they don't know what love really look like.

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Speaker 1: Important right, and now here you are at a very

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Speaker 1: impressionable age of this girl's life, giving her an example

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Speaker 1: of a man and what it looks like. And it's

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Speaker 1: not a good view of manhood that you can talk

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Speaker 1: to her this way, treat her this way, barking her

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Speaker 1: like a drill sergeant, expect her to take our trash

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Speaker 1: and want to put it out the house because she

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Speaker 1: can graduate it from high school? Who puts their throught

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Speaker 1: out the house because they graduate from our school? But hell,

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Speaker 1: I didn't get put out my daddy's house when I

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Speaker 1: graduated from high school. And then she kind and manerable

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Speaker 1: to him and respectful to him, even in spite of

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Speaker 1: all of this. Yeah, he's he's just the wrong, mean,

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Speaker 1: cruel guy. He just is something's wrong. That's why I

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Speaker 1: say he should get some therapy. He really should him. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but see, I don't know what game he played to

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Speaker 1: get her. He treats her like a queen. She says, Dog,

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Speaker 1: you've been had his lady on her fourth marriage. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because dog, you but the marriage can be saved, you know,

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Speaker 1: because he treats a woman like a queen. But then

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Speaker 1: you gotta treat the princess like a princess. Dog, It's

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Speaker 1: real simple. How are you treating the wife? You gotta

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Speaker 1: treat the daughter like a version of the wife, and

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Speaker 1: the wife's got to speak up. She does now because

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Speaker 1: this is this is crazy. But she just said something.

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Speaker 1: She'd have talked to him about it because it's hurtful

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Speaker 1: to her. Yeah, but this dumbass dude won't him go

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Speaker 1: to none of the activities at school. That's your stupid

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Speaker 1: ass sitting up. That just being dumb. That ain't therapy, right,

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Speaker 1: there no support. I mean, I just think therapy would

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Speaker 1: help him. I just do know. I got your ship.

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Speaker 1: I'm really I'm Yeah, you're mad you want to a

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Speaker 1: therapeutic every time I got mine, I learned your difference. Steve,

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Speaker 1: you would not never said nothing else to Johnny Waller again.

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Speaker 1: You would never do this. Johnny Wallace had me been

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Speaker 1: over the rail in junior high, choking me over over

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Speaker 1: the orchestra pit. I thought I was when they got

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Speaker 1: Johnny Waller off me. I never spoke to Johnny Waller joke.

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Speaker 1: I tell you about your ugly goodness. But I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, at this point, is he even going to

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Speaker 1: go to her graduation? He never goes to any activities

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Speaker 1: with her, with her mom. I mean, this is so ridiculous,

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Speaker 1: how selfish, how possess of, how controlling of this guy.

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Speaker 1: You know he's gonna leave him. Trust me if he

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Speaker 1: doesn't get any help. If he doesn't get any help,

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Speaker 1: she will and she should. All Right, we gotta get

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Speaker 1: out of here. You can send your comments to Steve

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Speaker 1: hard f M dot com. Now coming up at the

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Speaker 1: top of the hour, royal rules Megan Markle will have

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Speaker 1: to follow as a duchess to be and we'll find

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Speaker 1: out what did Steve and the crew have to give

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Speaker 1: up when they got married. Right after this, you're listening

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Speaker 1: to the Steve Harvey Morning Show,