Speaker 1: Summer is the season of beach reads and romantic comedies,
Speaker 1: and we've got the perfect listen to match. From unexpected
Speaker 1: sparks to unforgettable first impressions. Today, on the best of
Speaker 1: my legacy, we are sharing the meet cutes that turned
Speaker 1: into forever.
Speaker 2: You know, we all love love stories and we all
Speaker 2: want to hear every detail.
Speaker 3: I looked at him and I gave him that I energy,
Speaker 3: like I need you to come over here, and he
Speaker 3: came over.
Speaker 4: He got my number.
Speaker 5: Not everybody is like love at first sight. It's more
Speaker 5: like you get to know each other and then maybe
Speaker 5: we should.
Speaker 6: Do This is gonna be five minutes and I am
Speaker 6: out of here, you know, Like this is you know,
Speaker 6: I definitely need to school this man. Like you know, I.
Speaker 7: Remember seeing Ribby and thinking she's the most beautiful woman
Speaker 7: in the world, and I thought no, no, no, focus, focus,
Speaker 7: focus to become Among.
Speaker 1: Host Smart and Luther King the Third and Andrea Waters, King,
Speaker 1: Mark Kilberger, and Craig Kilberger get a front row seat
Speaker 1: to real life rom coms and masterclasses and vulnerability timing
Speaker 1: and the courage to keep choosing each other. First up,
Speaker 1: Jamel Hill proves that when it comes to love. Confidence
Speaker 1: is the ultimate strategy.
Speaker 2: You know, we all love love stories and we all
Speaker 2: want to hear every detail. But Jamil, can you tell
Speaker 2: us how you all story began? The two of you?
Speaker 3: Well, I'm sure you asked this question enough to know
Speaker 3: that when you're speaking with a couple, both people have
Speaker 3: different versions of how.
Speaker 4: This actually has the truth. Tell the truth, yes, amen,
Speaker 4: Yes it's true.
Speaker 3: And somehow it feels like when men tell their side
Speaker 3: of the story. It's also grossly embellished on a lot
Speaker 3: of accounts.
Speaker 4: So this was twenty fourteen.
Speaker 3: I was still at ESPN and I had a daily
Speaker 3: sports discussion show called Numbers Never Lie. And I came
Speaker 3: back to Michigan State where I went to school. My
Speaker 3: husband also went to Michigan State as well, but we
Speaker 3: went at different times.
Speaker 4: They asked me to be the homecoming.
Speaker 3: Ambassador, if you will, like, so I had to go
Speaker 3: back be in the parade, you know, do all those
Speaker 3: that kind of homecoming stuff.
Speaker 4: And so I went back there.
Speaker 3: The show came there as well, just as a support thing,
Speaker 3: and so you know, I was on campus for the
Speaker 3: weekend and going around to different tailgates. This is game Day,
Speaker 3: went to a tailgate It was the Black Alumni tailgate,
Speaker 3: one of my favorite tailgates to go to when I
Speaker 3: go to a Michigan State football game, and I was
Speaker 3: there talking to someone. It was actually and it turned
Speaker 3: out to be a friend of my husband's and I
Speaker 3: didn't even know him then, and I was talking to
Speaker 3: him when my husband came up. And as soon as
Speaker 3: he came up and started talking to his friend, I
Speaker 3: immediately noticed he's fine.
Speaker 4: So like, I'm not gonna lie like it was like, officially.
Speaker 6: I loved you, and smile.
Speaker 8: He's not saying anything. He's just sitting there smiling.
Speaker 4: So far, so far? Okay, do I have this correct?
Speaker 4: All right? So I was like, he's fine, Where did
Speaker 4: he come from? I'm gonna continue this conversation.
Speaker 3: So the three of us started to talk and there
Speaker 3: was definitely some flirty eye energy between me and my husband.
Speaker 3: I just sort of left things there because I had
Speaker 3: other homecoming duties that I had to do and I
Speaker 3: did not expect to see him again.
Speaker 4: Well, fast forward to a few hours later.
Speaker 3: Misch could say Black Alumni they host the big party
Speaker 3: for homecoming weekend. I went to the party and sure enough,
Speaker 3: I'm at the party. I look across the dance floor
Speaker 3: and my husband is standing right there, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: the fine guy from the dailgate. You know, so I
Speaker 3: energy this is this is just a little aside, a
Speaker 3: pro tip for ladies out there. I energy works. You
Speaker 3: send the right eye energy, the right body language. You
Speaker 3: can just bring them on to you.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: So I looked at him and I gave him that
Speaker 3: I energy like, I need you to come over here.
Speaker 4: And he came over.
Speaker 3: He got my number, and the rest, as they say,
Speaker 3: is history. More importantly too, pro tip for men who
Speaker 3: are listening. He called me the next day. It wasn't
Speaker 3: like he waited. He didn't, you know, hold it out
Speaker 3: for a week to try to see you know, you know,
Speaker 3: play it cool.
Speaker 4: He didn't.
Speaker 3: He called me the next day. Eye energy, yep ie energy.
Speaker 6: And when you see something, say something right. So, in
Speaker 6: other words, call the next day. Don't don't play a
Speaker 6: follow up. Don't let her forget you up. There's no
Speaker 6: need to play games with the grown woman.
Speaker 4: No, and so, babe, did I get that right?
Speaker 7: Mostly true?
Speaker 9: You forgot to mention love at first sight, not for me,
Speaker 9: for her.
Speaker 3: Saying it's always he always got to put a little
Speaker 3: Extra on.
Speaker 1: It Coming Up, America's doctor Sanje Gupta and his wife
Speaker 1: Rebecca Gupta show us that real love is built on small,
Speaker 1: everyday gestures and co hosts Martin and Araria. I feel
Speaker 1: how their relationship almost ended before it even began.
Speaker 8: Now back to my legacy, we're back.
Speaker 2: Could you share the story of how you all met
Speaker 2: and in a twenty something Sanjay, when he was in
Speaker 2: medical school and you were in law school.
Speaker 5: It's kind of funny, so, I mean, it's a little embarrassing.
Speaker 5: We met through a mutual friend at you know what,
Speaker 5: You're in college and your social time is often spent
Speaker 5: like at bars, and so we were at a bar
Speaker 5: and somebody knew us. Both was like, hey, you know,
Speaker 5: you got to meet, and that's how we met. And
Speaker 5: it took a while from there. We were just friends.
Speaker 5: It took a while from there before we started dating
Speaker 5: and that kind of thing. But that's more typical to college,
Speaker 5: I think, and more typical to a lot of relationships people.
Speaker 5: Not everybody is like love at first sight. It's more
Speaker 5: like you get to know each other and then we
Speaker 5: should do I wasn't love it.
Speaker 9: I feel like I was just insulted.
Speaker 6: Bet you have some analytics. So are those who are
Speaker 6: friends first that science.
Speaker 9: Well, I don't know. In my anecdotal case of one,
Speaker 9: it worked out all right.
Speaker 10: For you.
Speaker 9: Pretty pretty high on that scale. Yeah, so much higher
Speaker 9: than hers to me.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Actually, it's interesting. I mean, I think I don't
Speaker 5: have the like the statistics or anything to back me
Speaker 5: up on this, but I think men tend to have
Speaker 5: more visual like when they're attracted, and women are more intellectual.
Speaker 6: So did you see them you're shaking shaken to what
Speaker 6: he's trying.
Speaker 9: Look, I think the way you interpret that COMMI we
Speaker 9: are either smart nor good looking?
Speaker 8: You were romantic? Or like, what's what's your demeanor when
Speaker 8: you guys want to have a chance to connect?
Speaker 5: Yeah, probably more of the romantic.
Speaker 4: I love, look.
Speaker 9: At I think I'm pretty romantic. I think definitely more procedural,
Speaker 9: like in the sense that let's make a plan, you know,
Speaker 9: and so. But I don't know, does that is that
Speaker 9: at odds with romanticism? I don't know.
Speaker 2: An interesting question.
Speaker 5: But one of the things he does do that that's romantic.
Speaker 5: But I think it's towards our whole family is in
Speaker 5: the mornings when he has to get up and go
Speaker 5: before the rest of us. You always kind of will
Speaker 5: leave the lights on and some music playing. Sometimes, you know,
Speaker 5: he'll turn the coffee pot on, or like if it's cold,
Speaker 5: he'll turn the fireplace on, which is nice to come
Speaker 5: down to in the morning.
Speaker 9: I start my start cars for people and when it's cold,
Speaker 9: you know.
Speaker 5: Because that's an old like because we're from Michigan, that's
Speaker 5: an old Michigan like seeing and our kids are like,
Speaker 5: why are you starting to used to be really cold?
Speaker 9: I love that, I think because I was thinking about
Speaker 9: this in anticipation of this interview. By the way, people
Speaker 9: don't get to have nice conversations like this enough. I
Speaker 9: just I'll just throw that in there, like it's funny.
Speaker 9: We talk all the time, Rebecca and I, and yet
Speaker 9: we probably don't really have conversations like this. But I think, oh,
Speaker 9: let me just say what. I think that the the
Speaker 9: idea that there's a lot of mutual respect for each other,
Speaker 9: Like I think that that that ingredient more than maybe
Speaker 9: any other, the the love at first sight, the intellectualism,
Speaker 9: all of that mutual respect, genuine respect, I think is
Speaker 9: the key. And also coupled with that is the idea
Speaker 9: that I never question she has my best interests in mind.
Speaker 9: I think when you have interactions with people in your life,
Speaker 9: you do wonder they're competing interests. Sometimes with EI, they're
Speaker 9: telling you what they're telling you, or and and and
Speaker 9: that's okay, that's that's not a criticism, that's life. But
Speaker 9: I think when you have a partner who you don't
Speaker 9: ever question that they have your best interest in mind,
Speaker 9: that's a really powerful thing. And it's hard to find.
Speaker 9: It's hard to find, and if you find it, you
Speaker 9: hang on to it.
Speaker 8: I couldn't be prouder to be alongside with all of
Speaker 8: you on this incredible journey. And for those listeners or
Speaker 8: viewers who haven't had a chance to get to know
Speaker 8: you as well as we have, could one of you
Speaker 8: or both of you perhaps tell us a little bit
Speaker 8: the story you or the backstory of how you guys met.
Speaker 6: Well, we were actually introduced on a blind date.
Speaker 2: I was able to see pretty well.
Speaker 6: Actually, there were two people that were out and they
Speaker 6: met each other and they suggested that we meet each other.
Speaker 6: So we we're giving each other's phone numbers. We talked
Speaker 6: on the phone for a few times and we agreed
Speaker 6: that we were going to meet, and the day and
Speaker 6: time that we had set. Let me say it was
Speaker 6: one o'clock. You know, one o'clock came and went, Martin,
Speaker 6: wasn't there?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 6: One o five came and went, Martin wasn't there? Hopefully,
Speaker 6: I I went past one ten, and by by one
Speaker 6: ten I was living and I was like, well, but
Speaker 6: I knew that for some reason, I knew that he
Speaker 6: would call because we had such great conversations. Yes, I also, though,
Speaker 6: had made the decision that he had absolutely one thousand
Speaker 6: percent no chance of us ever meeting, dating, or connecting. Period.
Speaker 6: What happened, well, then about one fifteen is a friend
Speaker 6: who had been on some of the calls called and said,
Speaker 6: I'm so sorry. Martin was called out of town on
Speaker 6: an emergency and I was supposed to call earlier and
Speaker 6: I'm so sorry, and Ken, you know, can can you reschedule?
Speaker 6: I said sure? So he said, okay, well he'll pick
Speaker 6: you up next you know, you know, Saturday X amount
Speaker 6: of time. I said, oh no, that's okay. We could
Speaker 6: meet because by this time I had made the decision
Speaker 6: that I was going to meet him so I can
Speaker 6: look him in his eyes, tell him off, tell him,
Speaker 6: this is not how you treat a lady. I felt
Speaker 6: at this point like this was a mission for all
Speaker 6: female kind, for whom because at this point he had
Speaker 6: no absolutely chance with me. But I felt the need
Speaker 6: to make sure that whatever lady comes next then that
Speaker 6: he would know how to treat them.
Speaker 7: Wow.
Speaker 2: Okay, well there's more the story, and I'm not sure
Speaker 2: where to interject. Should I interject? Well, I was actually
Speaker 2: called a way oftentimes in the in the civil rights community,
Speaker 2: events occur and it's almost like crisis prevention. I'm not
Speaker 2: suggesting I was gonna avert a crisis. I don't know
Speaker 2: where I was called, but I was called out of
Speaker 2: town and it was like, okay, something happened, and then.
Speaker 8: So you're gonna go save save the world. That my
Speaker 8: part exactly.
Speaker 7: Okay.
Speaker 11: Then the interesting thing about it is I never learned
Speaker 11: that she did not know until maybe eight nine months later.
Speaker 8: So so okay, well take us to the second meeting.
Speaker 4: Then.
Speaker 2: So the second meeting occurred on a Saturday date maybe
Speaker 2: a week later, and we arrived we as complicated. I'll
Speaker 2: just say, the person who works with me, who's one
Speaker 2: of my protectors, one of.
Speaker 7: My team, I did.
Speaker 8: You're just digging here.
Speaker 2: So I we arrived and he went in to survey.
Speaker 8: Was the word you're gonna use here, Martin, because you're
Speaker 8: in big trouble.
Speaker 2: Let's see. But long and short.
Speaker 8: I wanted to make sure she was there.
Speaker 2: That's right, that's exactly. And so then I came in
Speaker 2: and we went to a table and we talked I
Speaker 2: don't know, an hour and a half and it was great.
Speaker 2: She did not mention one time at that time that
Speaker 2: you know, you know, Fiel didn't call me. So the
Speaker 2: conversation was, I guess intriguing.
Speaker 8: So first sight, Uh those by the way, if I'm
Speaker 8: introduct who are not watching, but listen to the podcast.
Speaker 8: He's holding her hand.
Speaker 6: Right.
Speaker 2: It was love and long sight. It was going to
Speaker 2: be long, long, long, long, but she she was just
Speaker 2: so amazing. She first of all, she's she was beautiful.
Speaker 2: Then she's even more beautiful. Now you want to tell.
Speaker 6: You your well when Phil came in and then the
Speaker 6: advanced man, the advanced man came in and went back out.
Speaker 6: I was like, oh no, he's really Oh yeah, he's
Speaker 6: parking the car and he went back he was like
Speaker 6: checking down, Yes, I did. Okay, everyone, so then I
Speaker 6: was like, oh, yeah, no, this is going to be
Speaker 6: five minutes and I am out of here. You know,
Speaker 6: like this is you know, I definitely need to school
Speaker 6: this man. Like, you know, you.
Speaker 8: Should brought both him, Martin and Phil together and you
Speaker 8: could have schooled them together.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, that was the intention. They were going to
Speaker 6: the woods. Oh yeah, and h Interestingly enough, when when
Speaker 6: Martin came in, there was just this immediate anyone who's
Speaker 6: ever been in Martin's presence or met Martin that they
Speaker 6: can attest to just this extraordinary love and light that
Speaker 6: emanates from him, which actually, frankly, I wasn't expecting, and
Speaker 6: that is what I guess disarmed me. And then I
Speaker 6: very quickly realized that this truly is one of the
Speaker 6: best men that I had ever met. So his heart
Speaker 6: saved him.
Speaker 2: Wow, this, but I just knew that we had had
Speaker 2: We've had amazing conversations and a great conversation, a great
Speaker 2: experience at the first meeting.
Speaker 8: So what do you love most about your amazing wife?
Speaker 2: What I love most about her is her her passion
Speaker 2: for interpreting what you know whenever I well, let's that's
Speaker 2: a lot. That's a loaded question. By the way. But
Speaker 2: let me just say this, there's not one specific thing
Speaker 2: that I love most. I love the fact that every
Speaker 2: day she wakes up and the main thing is, regardless
Speaker 2: of what we're going through and what's going on in
Speaker 2: the world, and there are times when we all don't
Speaker 2: want to do things, she always does the right thing,
Speaker 2: not sometimes always. I don't want to explain that anymore,
Speaker 2: but I will explain it to you all.
Speaker 6: Oh my goodness, his heart. He truly leads and lives
Speaker 6: in the world with his heart. And I remember once
Speaker 6: the comedian did Gregory when he was introducing Martin, talked
Speaker 6: about how he said, you know, this man walks in
Speaker 6: love and that is that is Martin, and it's that
Speaker 6: way on stage, off stage, at home. And also his humor.
Speaker 6: He's extremely funny.
Speaker 10: Know, someone who's searching for a little inspiration or joy
Speaker 10: right now, send us their way and hit that subscriberor
Speaker 10: follow button so we can continue to bring you these
Speaker 10: heartfelt conversations and unforgettable lessons more from this best of
Speaker 10: My Legacy episode right after the break.
Speaker 6: Now back to My Legacy.
Speaker 7: So the interesting thing is the first episode of my
Speaker 7: podcast on Purpose ever was me and Rady telling this
Speaker 7: story together, and I always wanted to start the show
Speaker 7: at a really authentic, genuine, conscious place, and I thought,
Speaker 7: why not do it the person who knows me best
Speaker 7: and knows me most deeply. And so the long story,
Speaker 7: short version is I was in my final year of
Speaker 7: college and I knew that I was going to become
Speaker 7: a monk after I graduated, and I would go to
Speaker 7: my local temple to serve and assist on the weekends
Speaker 7: just to stay out of trouble. And when I was
Speaker 7: doing that service, I was asked to show a woman
Speaker 7: around who was around my mom's age, with different chores
Speaker 7: and different practices at the temple. I'd never been asked
Speaker 7: to do this before. This was the first time I
Speaker 7: showed her around. She was very sweet, and then at
Speaker 7: the end of it, she said to me, I had
Speaker 7: a daughter that I'd love to introduce to spirituality and meditation.
Speaker 7: And I said, well, I'm going to become a monk,
Speaker 7: so I can introduce her to my younger sister who's
Speaker 7: also involved in the community, and why don't you bring
Speaker 7: her in? And so you know, that week she brought
Speaker 7: her in and it happened to be my wife's mom
Speaker 7: and Raley was her daughter who came in and I
Speaker 7: introduced Radi and my sister, and I remember seeing Rady
Speaker 7: and thinking she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
Speaker 7: And I thought, no, no, no focus, focus, focussing to
Speaker 7: become a monk, and so I kind of like shut
Speaker 7: it out. And then when I came back from the monastery,
Speaker 7: Radi and my sister had become best friends, and so
Speaker 7: my sister was our matchmakers. So that's how we met.
Speaker 6: So Radi, I'm very, very curious. So you're at a
Speaker 6: temple and you see this wonderful human being that was
Speaker 6: training to be a monk, and what was going through
Speaker 6: your mind when you first when you first met him.
Speaker 12: That's a really good question, you know, I he was
Speaker 12: in like, he was in white robes at the time,
Speaker 12: weren't you. Yeah, he was training to be a monk.
Speaker 12: He was in white robes. He knew my mom. It
Speaker 12: was like a very odd situation. My mom was introducing us,
Speaker 12: and so when I saw him, it was it was
Speaker 12: interesting because he had like tattoos in monk clothes, was
Speaker 12: a very like, well spoken person, where normally, in my mind,
Speaker 12: a monk was someone who was from India and I,
Speaker 12: you know, usually would have to speak to them in
Speaker 12: another language, and so it was kind of changing a
Speaker 12: lot of narratives in my mind of what I expected
Speaker 12: to see. When my mum was like, Oh, I want
Speaker 12: to introduce you to this monk, so I think I
Speaker 12: was readjusting to my expectations.
Speaker 6: And then I mean I.
Speaker 12: Started going to his classes and hearing him speak about spirituality,
Speaker 12: and honestly, I think I felt in awe of him
Speaker 12: through watching him in those spaces and in the community,
Speaker 12: and you know, I ended up being an observer of
Speaker 12: him rather than a friend at the beginning, because we
Speaker 12: didn't really have a friendship or a relationship at all
Speaker 12: when we first met. So it was quite nice seeing
Speaker 12: him in his own environment doing something that he loved.
Speaker 12: And so at first it was almost like he had
Speaker 12: He felt like a teacher and a guide more than
Speaker 12: he felt like someone that I was thinking I could
Speaker 12: be with. But then when I became friends with his
Speaker 12: sister and she kept telling me all these amazing things
Speaker 12: about him, I was like, Oh, he's so sweet, and
Speaker 12: they have the sweetest relationship he you know, he is
Speaker 12: like a father figure to her and she loves him
Speaker 12: so much, and I thought, well, someone who's got that
Speaker 12: relationship with their sister, and usually your sibling has the
Speaker 12: best and worst things to say about you. And she
Speaker 12: just loved him so much, and so there was moments
Speaker 12: where you know, I kept saying to I was like,
Speaker 12: you know, I think I really like your brother, and
Speaker 12: she was like, you can't. He's going to be a
Speaker 12: monk for the rest of his life. Leave him alone.
Speaker 12: She was like, I need you to leave him, Please
Speaker 12: leave Yeah, please, I'm just telling you he wants to
Speaker 12: be a monk forever. So yeah, I kind of gave
Speaker 12: up on that idea. And so as soon as he
Speaker 12: came out from being a monk and we got to
Speaker 12: know each other, we both just realized how how right
Speaker 12: we ended up being about each other, as he said,
Speaker 12: and it was a nice surprise because it could have
Speaker 12: gone both ways.
Speaker 6: You know, I love that, she said, fell in ahe
Speaker 6: I want to ask you both, what simple thing does
Speaker 6: your partner do to show that they love you.
Speaker 7: For me, the biggest one is I think when we
Speaker 7: first got married and we moved to New York and
Speaker 7: then we were kind of there for a couple of years,
Speaker 7: then moving to la and We've just been through so
Speaker 7: much change, and change that wasn't anticipating or expected, so
Speaker 7: changed that we both had planned to live our whole
Speaker 7: lives fifteen minutes from our local temple in England and
Speaker 7: five minutes away from Radi's parents home. And actually that
Speaker 7: was one of her requirements for us getting married, was
Speaker 7: that she could be a one mile radius away from
Speaker 7: her parents' home. And I'd committed to that, and I
Speaker 7: genuinely had committed to that. It was something that I
Speaker 7: thought was very real. All of our friends are in
Speaker 7: that area, families in that area. It made sense. And
Speaker 7: then all of a sudden, my career took a turn
Speaker 7: in twenty sixteen when this part of my life started
Speaker 7: to grow and it's continued to for the nine years, thankfully.
Speaker 7: And if I'm completely honest, that was completely not part
Speaker 7: of the plan, not my plan, not her plan, not
Speaker 7: our plan, but it was what I couldn't even have
Speaker 7: dreamed of. And not once in the last nine years
Speaker 7: as Radi ever said to me, look what I gave
Speaker 7: up for you, And oh God, I could cry saying this,
Speaker 7: but it's one of those things. It's like I know
Speaker 7: how much her parents mean to her now much her
Speaker 7: family friends mean to her. I know how much London
Speaker 7: means to her, and for her to move away, for
Speaker 7: her to give that up when we didn't have clarity,
Speaker 7: like you know, we're very fortunate today to have a
Speaker 7: wonderful life, but getting here wasn't easy. I was away
Speaker 7: a lot, I traveled a lot for work, I was
Speaker 7: building things, moving around. And never once did she say,
Speaker 7: I gave this all up for you. You're never around,
Speaker 7: you work too hard. And I think that kind of trust,
Speaker 7: without nagging, without making someone feel bad, when I was
Speaker 7: already carrying the burden of it myself, And I think
Speaker 7: that's the feeling that makes you feel loved where you're like,
Speaker 7: I was already feeling that way myself. So if she
Speaker 7: would have said it to me, probably would broken me.
Speaker 7: But the fact that she didn't feel that she had
Speaker 7: to say it to me makes me feel love. So
Speaker 7: not blaming, not shaming, not pushing, not prodding is is.
Speaker 7: It feels like a small thing, but actually it's huge.
Speaker 7: And even at the most difficult times in our life,
Speaker 7: whether we were financially struggling, you know, struggling with moving, changing,
Speaker 7: whatever things were going on in our life, every time
Speaker 7: i'd update her on what would happen, she'd always say,
Speaker 7: I trust you, And hearing your partner say that when
Speaker 7: you don't even know what's going to happen next is
Speaker 7: the greatest sign of love. And so and and you know,
Speaker 7: she radly decided to date me and commit to a
Speaker 7: relationship with me when I had nothing to offer about myself,
Speaker 7: and so that's a pretty big thing. She could have
Speaker 7: married anyone she wanted to marry, and so her decision
Speaker 7: to be with someone who didn't have a even a
Speaker 7: secure job when I first started dating, and you know,
Speaker 7: someone who'd been in the monastery for three years and
Speaker 7: didn't have any sort of savings or any sort of plan,
Speaker 7: I think it shows her character and her ability to
Speaker 7: you know, go beyond material things. And the more recent one,
Speaker 7: I mean, I could go on as well.
Speaker 12: I think the more recently shedn't need to get one.
Speaker 7: Radi's never let me define my self worth based on
Speaker 7: my success. So when I first started to experience success,
Speaker 7: Radi didn't celebrate it in the way I wanted her to.
Speaker 7: And I would want. Look, I'd wanted my wife to
Speaker 7: be my number one fan and my biggest cheerleader and
Speaker 7: she wasn't for my career. But I had to realize
Speaker 7: if I skewed my perspective, she was for who I was.
Speaker 7: So if it came to my character, that's what she
Speaker 7: was backing. She wasn't backing me because of my career,
Speaker 7: and that took me. That helped me detach from valuing
Speaker 7: myself based on the success of my career because I
Speaker 7: think that's what I would have done and what I
Speaker 7: would have wanted if she had fallen in that way.
Speaker 7: And so her lack of validation for my career was
Speaker 7: the greatest validation for.
Speaker 6: Caring great.
Speaker 7: But I think it's a cut and again going back
Speaker 7: to the men point, I think a lot of men
Speaker 7: like we want our partners to be like front row.
Speaker 7: We want them to be the cheerleader, like we've we've
Speaker 7: got that culture. And I'm not saying that my wife
Speaker 7: isn't my cheerleader that, but I'm saying, your wife's cheerleading
Speaker 7: your character, not your career. That's better because the career
Speaker 7: is up and down, Like the career is going to
Speaker 7: do whatever it's going to do, But your characters who
Speaker 7: you are, like, what do you want to be loved for?
Speaker 7: Do you want to be loved for the amount of
Speaker 7: followers you have, or do you want to be loved
Speaker 7: for who you are and how you show up and
Speaker 7: what she believes you represent. And so I think it's
Speaker 7: genuinely we're laughing about it, and it can have funny connotations,
Speaker 7: but I want to clarify, Like the point is, I
Speaker 7: think we all want to be loved for who we
Speaker 7: are and not loved for what we achieve.
Speaker 12: I did start listening to your podcast last year.
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