1 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:06,560 Speaker 1: Summer is the season of beach reads and romantic comedies, 2 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:09,959 Speaker 1: and we've got the perfect listen to match. From unexpected 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: sparks to unforgettable first impressions. Today, on the best of 4 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,760 Speaker 1: my legacy, we are sharing the meet cutes that turned 5 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:17,479 Speaker 1: into forever. 6 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 2: You know, we all love love stories and we all 7 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 2: want to hear every detail. 8 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 3: I looked at him and I gave him that I energy, 9 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 3: like I need you to come over here, and he 10 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 3: came over. 11 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 4: He got my number. 12 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 5: Not everybody is like love at first sight. It's more 13 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 5: like you get to know each other and then maybe 14 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 5: we should. 15 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:42,919 Speaker 6: Do This is gonna be five minutes and I am 16 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 6: out of here, you know, Like this is you know, 17 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 6: I definitely need to school this man. Like you know, I. 18 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 7: Remember seeing Ribby and thinking she's the most beautiful woman 19 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 7: in the world, and I thought no, no, no, focus, focus, 20 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 7: focus to become Among. 21 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 1: Host Smart and Luther King the Third and Andrea Waters, King, 22 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 1: Mark Kilberger, and Craig Kilberger get a front row seat 23 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: to real life rom coms and masterclasses and vulnerability timing 24 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 1: and the courage to keep choosing each other. First up, 25 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 1: Jamel Hill proves that when it comes to love. Confidence 26 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:13,959 Speaker 1: is the ultimate strategy. 27 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 2: You know, we all love love stories and we all 28 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:22,320 Speaker 2: want to hear every detail. But Jamil, can you tell 29 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,480 Speaker 2: us how you all story began? The two of you? 30 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 3: Well, I'm sure you asked this question enough to know 31 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 3: that when you're speaking with a couple, both people have 32 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,759 Speaker 3: different versions of how. 33 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 4: This actually has the truth. Tell the truth, yes, amen, 34 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 4: Yes it's true. 35 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 3: And somehow it feels like when men tell their side 36 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 3: of the story. It's also grossly embellished on a lot 37 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 3: of accounts. 38 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 4: So this was twenty fourteen. 39 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 3: I was still at ESPN and I had a daily 40 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 3: sports discussion show called Numbers Never Lie. And I came 41 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 3: back to Michigan State where I went to school. My 42 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 3: husband also went to Michigan State as well, but we 43 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 3: went at different times. 44 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,240 Speaker 4: They asked me to be the homecoming. 45 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 3: Ambassador, if you will, like, so I had to go 46 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 3: back be in the parade, you know, do all those 47 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 3: that kind of homecoming stuff. 48 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 4: And so I went back there. 49 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 3: The show came there as well, just as a support thing, 50 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 3: and so you know, I was on campus for the 51 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:33,600 Speaker 3: weekend and going around to different tailgates. This is game Day, 52 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 3: went to a tailgate It was the Black Alumni tailgate, 53 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 3: one of my favorite tailgates to go to when I 54 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 3: go to a Michigan State football game, and I was 55 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 3: there talking to someone. It was actually and it turned 56 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 3: out to be a friend of my husband's and I 57 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 3: didn't even know him then, and I was talking to 58 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 3: him when my husband came up. And as soon as 59 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,799 Speaker 3: he came up and started talking to his friend, I 60 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 3: immediately noticed he's fine. 61 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,919 Speaker 4: So like, I'm not gonna lie like it was like, officially. 62 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 6: I loved you, and smile. 63 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 8: He's not saying anything. He's just sitting there smiling. 64 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 4: So far, so far? Okay, do I have this correct? 65 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,960 Speaker 4: All right? So I was like, he's fine, Where did 66 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 4: he come from? I'm gonna continue this conversation. 67 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 3: So the three of us started to talk and there 68 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 3: was definitely some flirty eye energy between me and my husband. 69 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:21,520 Speaker 3: I just sort of left things there because I had 70 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 3: other homecoming duties that I had to do and I 71 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 3: did not expect to see him again. 72 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,399 Speaker 4: Well, fast forward to a few hours later. 73 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,080 Speaker 3: Misch could say Black Alumni they host the big party 74 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 3: for homecoming weekend. I went to the party and sure enough, 75 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 3: I'm at the party. I look across the dance floor 76 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 3: and my husband is standing right there, and I was like, oh, 77 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 3: the fine guy from the dailgate. You know, so I 78 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 3: energy this is this is just a little aside, a 79 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 3: pro tip for ladies out there. I energy works. You 80 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 3: send the right eye energy, the right body language. You 81 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 3: can just bring them on to you. 82 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 4: Okay. 83 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 3: So I looked at him and I gave him that 84 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 3: I energy like, I need you to come over here. 85 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,119 Speaker 4: And he came over. 86 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,839 Speaker 3: He got my number, and the rest, as they say, 87 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 3: is history. More importantly too, pro tip for men who 88 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 3: are listening. He called me the next day. It wasn't 89 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 3: like he waited. He didn't, you know, hold it out 90 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 3: for a week to try to see you know, you know, 91 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 3: play it cool. 92 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 4: He didn't. 93 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:22,159 Speaker 3: He called me the next day. Eye energy, yep ie energy. 94 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:26,640 Speaker 6: And when you see something, say something right. So, in 95 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:29,840 Speaker 6: other words, call the next day. Don't don't play a 96 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,160 Speaker 6: follow up. Don't let her forget you up. There's no 97 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:34,799 Speaker 6: need to play games with the grown woman. 98 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 4: No, and so, babe, did I get that right? 99 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 7: Mostly true? 100 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 9: You forgot to mention love at first sight, not for me, 101 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 9: for her. 102 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,600 Speaker 3: Saying it's always he always got to put a little 103 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 3: Extra on. 104 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: It Coming Up, America's doctor Sanje Gupta and his wife 105 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: Rebecca Gupta show us that real love is built on small, 106 00:04:56,440 --> 00:05:00,279 Speaker 1: everyday gestures and co hosts Martin and Araria. I feel 107 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:03,360 Speaker 1: how their relationship almost ended before it even began. 108 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 8: Now back to my legacy, we're back. 109 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,239 Speaker 2: Could you share the story of how you all met 110 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:20,919 Speaker 2: and in a twenty something Sanjay, when he was in 111 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 2: medical school and you were in law school. 112 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:28,799 Speaker 5: It's kind of funny, so, I mean, it's a little embarrassing. 113 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 5: We met through a mutual friend at you know what, 114 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,360 Speaker 5: You're in college and your social time is often spent 115 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 5: like at bars, and so we were at a bar 116 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,919 Speaker 5: and somebody knew us. Both was like, hey, you know, 117 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 5: you got to meet, and that's how we met. And 118 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,279 Speaker 5: it took a while from there. We were just friends. 119 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:47,360 Speaker 5: It took a while from there before we started dating 120 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 5: and that kind of thing. But that's more typical to college, 121 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 5: I think, and more typical to a lot of relationships people. 122 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 5: Not everybody is like love at first sight. It's more 123 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,200 Speaker 5: like you get to know each other and then we 124 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 5: should do I wasn't love it. 125 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,799 Speaker 9: I feel like I was just insulted. 126 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 6: Bet you have some analytics. So are those who are 127 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:14,159 Speaker 6: friends first that science. 128 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 9: Well, I don't know. In my anecdotal case of one, 129 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:20,600 Speaker 9: it worked out all right. 130 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 10: For you. 131 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 9: Pretty pretty high on that scale. Yeah, so much higher 132 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 9: than hers to me. 133 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,919 Speaker 5: Yeah, Actually, it's interesting. I mean, I think I don't 134 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 5: have the like the statistics or anything to back me 135 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 5: up on this, but I think men tend to have 136 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 5: more visual like when they're attracted, and women are more intellectual. 137 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 6: So did you see them you're shaking shaken to what 138 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 6: he's trying. 139 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 9: Look, I think the way you interpret that COMMI we 140 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,159 Speaker 9: are either smart nor good looking? 141 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 8: You were romantic? Or like, what's what's your demeanor when 142 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 8: you guys want to have a chance to connect? 143 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 5: Yeah, probably more of the romantic. 144 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 4: I love, look. 145 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 9: At I think I'm pretty romantic. I think definitely more procedural, 146 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 9: like in the sense that let's make a plan, you know, 147 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 9: and so. But I don't know, does that is that 148 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 9: at odds with romanticism? I don't know. 149 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 2: An interesting question. 150 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 5: But one of the things he does do that that's romantic. 151 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 5: But I think it's towards our whole family is in 152 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 5: the mornings when he has to get up and go 153 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,520 Speaker 5: before the rest of us. You always kind of will 154 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 5: leave the lights on and some music playing. Sometimes, you know, 155 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 5: he'll turn the coffee pot on, or like if it's cold, 156 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 5: he'll turn the fireplace on, which is nice to come 157 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 5: down to in the morning. 158 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 9: I start my start cars for people and when it's cold, 159 00:07:58,400 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 9: you know. 160 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 5: Because that's an old like because we're from Michigan, that's 161 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 5: an old Michigan like seeing and our kids are like, 162 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 5: why are you starting to used to be really cold? 163 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 9: I love that, I think because I was thinking about 164 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 9: this in anticipation of this interview. By the way, people 165 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 9: don't get to have nice conversations like this enough. I 166 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,720 Speaker 9: just I'll just throw that in there, like it's funny. 167 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 9: We talk all the time, Rebecca and I, and yet 168 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 9: we probably don't really have conversations like this. But I think, oh, 169 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 9: let me just say what. I think that the the 170 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:33,800 Speaker 9: idea that there's a lot of mutual respect for each other, 171 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,840 Speaker 9: Like I think that that that ingredient more than maybe 172 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:40,320 Speaker 9: any other, the the love at first sight, the intellectualism, 173 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:45,839 Speaker 9: all of that mutual respect, genuine respect, I think is 174 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 9: the key. And also coupled with that is the idea 175 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:54,440 Speaker 9: that I never question she has my best interests in mind. 176 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 9: I think when you have interactions with people in your life, 177 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,360 Speaker 9: you do wonder they're competing interests. Sometimes with EI, they're 178 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 9: telling you what they're telling you, or and and and 179 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 9: that's okay, that's that's not a criticism, that's life. But 180 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 9: I think when you have a partner who you don't 181 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 9: ever question that they have your best interest in mind, 182 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:15,959 Speaker 9: that's a really powerful thing. And it's hard to find. 183 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 9: It's hard to find, and if you find it, you 184 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 9: hang on to it. 185 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 8: I couldn't be prouder to be alongside with all of 186 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:29,360 Speaker 8: you on this incredible journey. And for those listeners or 187 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 8: viewers who haven't had a chance to get to know 188 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 8: you as well as we have, could one of you 189 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,720 Speaker 8: or both of you perhaps tell us a little bit 190 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 8: the story you or the backstory of how you guys met. 191 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 6: Well, we were actually introduced on a blind date. 192 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,400 Speaker 2: I was able to see pretty well. 193 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 6: Actually, there were two people that were out and they 194 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 6: met each other and they suggested that we meet each other. 195 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:02,960 Speaker 6: So we we're giving each other's phone numbers. We talked 196 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 6: on the phone for a few times and we agreed 197 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 6: that we were going to meet, and the day and 198 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:13,920 Speaker 6: time that we had set. Let me say it was 199 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 6: one o'clock. You know, one o'clock came and went, Martin, 200 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 6: wasn't there? 201 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:17,680 Speaker 4: You know? 202 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 6: One o five came and went, Martin wasn't there? Hopefully, 203 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 6: I I went past one ten, and by by one 204 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 6: ten I was living and I was like, well, but 205 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 6: I knew that for some reason, I knew that he 206 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 6: would call because we had such great conversations. Yes, I also, though, 207 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 6: had made the decision that he had absolutely one thousand 208 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:49,200 Speaker 6: percent no chance of us ever meeting, dating, or connecting. Period. 209 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 6: What happened, well, then about one fifteen is a friend 210 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 6: who had been on some of the calls called and said, 211 00:10:56,760 --> 00:11:00,120 Speaker 6: I'm so sorry. Martin was called out of town on 212 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 6: an emergency and I was supposed to call earlier and 213 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 6: I'm so sorry, and Ken, you know, can can you reschedule? 214 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 6: I said sure? So he said, okay, well he'll pick 215 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 6: you up next you know, you know, Saturday X amount 216 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,440 Speaker 6: of time. I said, oh no, that's okay. We could 217 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:21,320 Speaker 6: meet because by this time I had made the decision 218 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 6: that I was going to meet him so I can 219 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 6: look him in his eyes, tell him off, tell him, 220 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 6: this is not how you treat a lady. I felt 221 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,560 Speaker 6: at this point like this was a mission for all 222 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 6: female kind, for whom because at this point he had 223 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,960 Speaker 6: no absolutely chance with me. But I felt the need 224 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,439 Speaker 6: to make sure that whatever lady comes next then that 225 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,520 Speaker 6: he would know how to treat them. 226 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 7: Wow. 227 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 2: Okay, well there's more the story, and I'm not sure 228 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 2: where to interject. Should I interject? Well, I was actually 229 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 2: called a way oftentimes in the in the civil rights community, 230 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:09,600 Speaker 2: events occur and it's almost like crisis prevention. I'm not 231 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 2: suggesting I was gonna avert a crisis. I don't know 232 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,800 Speaker 2: where I was called, but I was called out of 233 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 2: town and it was like, okay, something happened, and then. 234 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 8: So you're gonna go save save the world. That my 235 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:26,959 Speaker 8: part exactly. 236 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:27,320 Speaker 7: Okay. 237 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:33,600 Speaker 11: Then the interesting thing about it is I never learned 238 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:38,080 Speaker 11: that she did not know until maybe eight nine months later. 239 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,040 Speaker 8: So so okay, well take us to the second meeting. 240 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:41,199 Speaker 4: Then. 241 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:46,520 Speaker 2: So the second meeting occurred on a Saturday date maybe 242 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 2: a week later, and we arrived we as complicated. I'll 243 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 2: just say, the person who works with me, who's one 244 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,319 Speaker 2: of my protectors, one of. 245 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,200 Speaker 7: My team, I did. 246 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 8: You're just digging here. 247 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:15,040 Speaker 2: So I we arrived and he went in to survey. 248 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,000 Speaker 8: Was the word you're gonna use here, Martin, because you're 249 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:19,880 Speaker 8: in big trouble. 250 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 2: Let's see. But long and short. 251 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:24,560 Speaker 8: I wanted to make sure she was there. 252 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:30,920 Speaker 2: That's right, that's exactly. And so then I came in 253 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:35,679 Speaker 2: and we went to a table and we talked I 254 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:38,559 Speaker 2: don't know, an hour and a half and it was great. 255 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:43,120 Speaker 2: She did not mention one time at that time that 256 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 2: you know, you know, Fiel didn't call me. So the 257 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 2: conversation was, I guess intriguing. 258 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 8: So first sight, Uh those by the way, if I'm 259 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 8: introduct who are not watching, but listen to the podcast. 260 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,080 Speaker 8: He's holding her hand. 261 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 6: Right. 262 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,560 Speaker 2: It was love and long sight. It was going to 263 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:06,200 Speaker 2: be long, long, long, long, but she she was just 264 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 2: so amazing. She first of all, she's she was beautiful. 265 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:16,800 Speaker 2: Then she's even more beautiful. Now you want to tell. 266 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:20,680 Speaker 6: You your well when Phil came in and then the 267 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 6: advanced man, the advanced man came in and went back out. 268 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 6: I was like, oh no, he's really Oh yeah, he's 269 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,760 Speaker 6: parking the car and he went back he was like 270 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,960 Speaker 6: checking down, Yes, I did. Okay, everyone, so then I 271 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,480 Speaker 6: was like, oh, yeah, no, this is going to be 272 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 6: five minutes and I am out of here. You know, 273 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 6: like this is you know, I definitely need to school 274 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 6: this man. Like, you know, you. 275 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,240 Speaker 8: Should brought both him, Martin and Phil together and you 276 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,160 Speaker 8: could have schooled them together. 277 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 6: Oh yeah, that was the intention. They were going to 278 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 6: the woods. Oh yeah, and h Interestingly enough, when when 279 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:04,000 Speaker 6: Martin came in, there was just this immediate anyone who's 280 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:07,640 Speaker 6: ever been in Martin's presence or met Martin that they 281 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 6: can attest to just this extraordinary love and light that 282 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:19,520 Speaker 6: emanates from him, which actually, frankly, I wasn't expecting, and 283 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:25,120 Speaker 6: that is what I guess disarmed me. And then I 284 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 6: very quickly realized that this truly is one of the 285 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 6: best men that I had ever met. So his heart 286 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 6: saved him. 287 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 2: Wow, this, but I just knew that we had had 288 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 2: We've had amazing conversations and a great conversation, a great 289 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 2: experience at the first meeting. 290 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:49,480 Speaker 8: So what do you love most about your amazing wife? 291 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:53,920 Speaker 2: What I love most about her is her her passion 292 00:15:54,840 --> 00:16:01,680 Speaker 2: for interpreting what you know whenever I well, let's that's 293 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 2: a lot. That's a loaded question. By the way. But 294 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 2: let me just say this, there's not one specific thing 295 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 2: that I love most. I love the fact that every 296 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:16,760 Speaker 2: day she wakes up and the main thing is, regardless 297 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 2: of what we're going through and what's going on in 298 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 2: the world, and there are times when we all don't 299 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 2: want to do things, she always does the right thing, 300 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 2: not sometimes always. I don't want to explain that anymore, 301 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 2: but I will explain it to you all. 302 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 6: Oh my goodness, his heart. He truly leads and lives 303 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:52,720 Speaker 6: in the world with his heart. And I remember once 304 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 6: the comedian did Gregory when he was introducing Martin, talked 305 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 6: about how he said, you know, this man walks in 306 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:06,400 Speaker 6: love and that is that is Martin, and it's that 307 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:11,479 Speaker 6: way on stage, off stage, at home. And also his humor. 308 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:14,720 Speaker 6: He's extremely funny. 309 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,240 Speaker 10: Know, someone who's searching for a little inspiration or joy 310 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:21,159 Speaker 10: right now, send us their way and hit that subscriberor 311 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 10: follow button so we can continue to bring you these 312 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:28,159 Speaker 10: heartfelt conversations and unforgettable lessons more from this best of 313 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,520 Speaker 10: My Legacy episode right after the break. 314 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,440 Speaker 6: Now back to My Legacy. 315 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,359 Speaker 7: So the interesting thing is the first episode of my 316 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:45,080 Speaker 7: podcast on Purpose ever was me and Rady telling this 317 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 7: story together, and I always wanted to start the show 318 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 7: at a really authentic, genuine, conscious place, and I thought, 319 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 7: why not do it the person who knows me best 320 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,520 Speaker 7: and knows me most deeply. And so the long story, 321 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:02,159 Speaker 7: short version is I was in my final year of 322 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 7: college and I knew that I was going to become 323 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,600 Speaker 7: a monk after I graduated, and I would go to 324 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 7: my local temple to serve and assist on the weekends 325 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,760 Speaker 7: just to stay out of trouble. And when I was 326 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,520 Speaker 7: doing that service, I was asked to show a woman 327 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,760 Speaker 7: around who was around my mom's age, with different chores 328 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 7: and different practices at the temple. I'd never been asked 329 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,159 Speaker 7: to do this before. This was the first time I 330 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,119 Speaker 7: showed her around. She was very sweet, and then at 331 00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 7: the end of it, she said to me, I had 332 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,440 Speaker 7: a daughter that I'd love to introduce to spirituality and meditation. 333 00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 7: And I said, well, I'm going to become a monk, 334 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 7: so I can introduce her to my younger sister who's 335 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 7: also involved in the community, and why don't you bring 336 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 7: her in? And so you know, that week she brought 337 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,880 Speaker 7: her in and it happened to be my wife's mom 338 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,159 Speaker 7: and Raley was her daughter who came in and I 339 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 7: introduced Radi and my sister, and I remember seeing Rady 340 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,000 Speaker 7: and thinking she was the most beautiful woman in the world. 341 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,720 Speaker 7: And I thought, no, no, no focus, focus, focussing to 342 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 7: become a monk, and so I kind of like shut 343 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,760 Speaker 7: it out. And then when I came back from the monastery, 344 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 7: Radi and my sister had become best friends, and so 345 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 7: my sister was our matchmakers. So that's how we met. 346 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:15,119 Speaker 6: So Radi, I'm very, very curious. So you're at a 347 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:21,320 Speaker 6: temple and you see this wonderful human being that was 348 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:26,120 Speaker 6: training to be a monk, and what was going through 349 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,840 Speaker 6: your mind when you first when you first met him. 350 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 12: That's a really good question, you know, I he was 351 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,760 Speaker 12: in like, he was in white robes at the time, 352 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,440 Speaker 12: weren't you. Yeah, he was training to be a monk. 353 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,440 Speaker 12: He was in white robes. He knew my mom. It 354 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,320 Speaker 12: was like a very odd situation. My mom was introducing us, 355 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,159 Speaker 12: and so when I saw him, it was it was 356 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 12: interesting because he had like tattoos in monk clothes, was 357 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:53,800 Speaker 12: a very like, well spoken person, where normally, in my mind, 358 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 12: a monk was someone who was from India and I, 359 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 12: you know, usually would have to speak to them in 360 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,040 Speaker 12: another language, and so it was kind of changing a 361 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,120 Speaker 12: lot of narratives in my mind of what I expected 362 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 12: to see. When my mum was like, Oh, I want 363 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,480 Speaker 12: to introduce you to this monk, so I think I 364 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,440 Speaker 12: was readjusting to my expectations. 365 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,639 Speaker 6: And then I mean I. 366 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 12: Started going to his classes and hearing him speak about spirituality, 367 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 12: and honestly, I think I felt in awe of him 368 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 12: through watching him in those spaces and in the community, 369 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,760 Speaker 12: and you know, I ended up being an observer of 370 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,639 Speaker 12: him rather than a friend at the beginning, because we 371 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 12: didn't really have a friendship or a relationship at all 372 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,960 Speaker 12: when we first met. So it was quite nice seeing 373 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 12: him in his own environment doing something that he loved. 374 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,200 Speaker 12: And so at first it was almost like he had 375 00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 12: He felt like a teacher and a guide more than 376 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 12: he felt like someone that I was thinking I could 377 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,000 Speaker 12: be with. But then when I became friends with his 378 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:46,960 Speaker 12: sister and she kept telling me all these amazing things 379 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,879 Speaker 12: about him, I was like, Oh, he's so sweet, and 380 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:53,119 Speaker 12: they have the sweetest relationship he you know, he is 381 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,239 Speaker 12: like a father figure to her and she loves him 382 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,600 Speaker 12: so much, and I thought, well, someone who's got that 383 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 12: relationship with their sister, and usually your sibling has the 384 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,560 Speaker 12: best and worst things to say about you. And she 385 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 12: just loved him so much, and so there was moments 386 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 12: where you know, I kept saying to I was like, 387 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,560 Speaker 12: you know, I think I really like your brother, and 388 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:12,680 Speaker 12: she was like, you can't. He's going to be a 389 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,840 Speaker 12: monk for the rest of his life. Leave him alone. 390 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,119 Speaker 12: She was like, I need you to leave him, Please 391 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 12: leave Yeah, please, I'm just telling you he wants to 392 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 12: be a monk forever. So yeah, I kind of gave 393 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,800 Speaker 12: up on that idea. And so as soon as he 394 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 12: came out from being a monk and we got to 395 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,959 Speaker 12: know each other, we both just realized how how right 396 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,880 Speaker 12: we ended up being about each other, as he said, 397 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,000 Speaker 12: and it was a nice surprise because it could have 398 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 12: gone both ways. 399 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 6: You know, I love that, she said, fell in ahe 400 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,880 Speaker 6: I want to ask you both, what simple thing does 401 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,639 Speaker 6: your partner do to show that they love you. 402 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:49,440 Speaker 7: For me, the biggest one is I think when we 403 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,639 Speaker 7: first got married and we moved to New York and 404 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,880 Speaker 7: then we were kind of there for a couple of years, 405 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,399 Speaker 7: then moving to la and We've just been through so 406 00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:02,000 Speaker 7: much change, and change that wasn't anticipating or expected, so 407 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 7: changed that we both had planned to live our whole 408 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 7: lives fifteen minutes from our local temple in England and 409 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:13,359 Speaker 7: five minutes away from Radi's parents home. And actually that 410 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 7: was one of her requirements for us getting married, was 411 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 7: that she could be a one mile radius away from 412 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:24,080 Speaker 7: her parents' home. And I'd committed to that, and I 413 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,280 Speaker 7: genuinely had committed to that. It was something that I 414 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,560 Speaker 7: thought was very real. All of our friends are in 415 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:32,200 Speaker 7: that area, families in that area. It made sense. And 416 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,440 Speaker 7: then all of a sudden, my career took a turn 417 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,520 Speaker 7: in twenty sixteen when this part of my life started 418 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 7: to grow and it's continued to for the nine years, thankfully. 419 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:45,320 Speaker 7: And if I'm completely honest, that was completely not part 420 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:47,359 Speaker 7: of the plan, not my plan, not her plan, not 421 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:52,040 Speaker 7: our plan, but it was what I couldn't even have 422 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 7: dreamed of. And not once in the last nine years 423 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,120 Speaker 7: as Radi ever said to me, look what I gave 424 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:05,040 Speaker 7: up for you, And oh God, I could cry saying this, 425 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 7: but it's one of those things. It's like I know 426 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,600 Speaker 7: how much her parents mean to her now much her 427 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,119 Speaker 7: family friends mean to her. I know how much London 428 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 7: means to her, and for her to move away, for 429 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:21,040 Speaker 7: her to give that up when we didn't have clarity, 430 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,440 Speaker 7: like you know, we're very fortunate today to have a 431 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:28,400 Speaker 7: wonderful life, but getting here wasn't easy. I was away 432 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,520 Speaker 7: a lot, I traveled a lot for work, I was 433 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 7: building things, moving around. And never once did she say, 434 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,240 Speaker 7: I gave this all up for you. You're never around, 435 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:43,639 Speaker 7: you work too hard. And I think that kind of trust, 436 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:49,359 Speaker 7: without nagging, without making someone feel bad, when I was 437 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,560 Speaker 7: already carrying the burden of it myself, And I think 438 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 7: that's the feeling that makes you feel loved where you're like, 439 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,720 Speaker 7: I was already feeling that way myself. So if she 440 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 7: would have said it to me, probably would broken me. 441 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,919 Speaker 7: But the fact that she didn't feel that she had 442 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:06,680 Speaker 7: to say it to me makes me feel love. So 443 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:12,520 Speaker 7: not blaming, not shaming, not pushing, not prodding is is. 444 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 7: It feels like a small thing, but actually it's huge. 445 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,880 Speaker 7: And even at the most difficult times in our life, 446 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 7: whether we were financially struggling, you know, struggling with moving, changing, 447 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,040 Speaker 7: whatever things were going on in our life, every time 448 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,800 Speaker 7: i'd update her on what would happen, she'd always say, 449 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:35,480 Speaker 7: I trust you, And hearing your partner say that when 450 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,639 Speaker 7: you don't even know what's going to happen next is 451 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 7: the greatest sign of love. And so and and you know, 452 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:47,159 Speaker 7: she radly decided to date me and commit to a 453 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,400 Speaker 7: relationship with me when I had nothing to offer about myself, 454 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,520 Speaker 7: and so that's a pretty big thing. She could have 455 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 7: married anyone she wanted to marry, and so her decision 456 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,520 Speaker 7: to be with someone who didn't have a even a 457 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,560 Speaker 7: secure job when I first started dating, and you know, 458 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 7: someone who'd been in the monastery for three years and 459 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,840 Speaker 7: didn't have any sort of savings or any sort of plan, 460 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:13,000 Speaker 7: I think it shows her character and her ability to 461 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:19,000 Speaker 7: you know, go beyond material things. And the more recent one, 462 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:20,400 Speaker 7: I mean, I could go on as well. 463 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,000 Speaker 12: I think the more recently shedn't need to get one. 464 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:28,760 Speaker 7: Radi's never let me define my self worth based on 465 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:33,240 Speaker 7: my success. So when I first started to experience success, 466 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,000 Speaker 7: Radi didn't celebrate it in the way I wanted her to. 467 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,760 Speaker 7: And I would want. Look, I'd wanted my wife to 468 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,639 Speaker 7: be my number one fan and my biggest cheerleader and 469 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,960 Speaker 7: she wasn't for my career. But I had to realize 470 00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 7: if I skewed my perspective, she was for who I was. 471 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,680 Speaker 7: So if it came to my character, that's what she 472 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,639 Speaker 7: was backing. She wasn't backing me because of my career, 473 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 7: and that took me. That helped me detach from valuing 474 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,000 Speaker 7: myself based on the success of my career because I 475 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,760 Speaker 7: think that's what I would have done and what I 476 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,440 Speaker 7: would have wanted if she had fallen in that way. 477 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,440 Speaker 7: And so her lack of validation for my career was 478 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,240 Speaker 7: the greatest validation for. 479 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:19,520 Speaker 6: Caring great. 480 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,959 Speaker 7: But I think it's a cut and again going back 481 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 7: to the men point, I think a lot of men 482 00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:28,160 Speaker 7: like we want our partners to be like front row. 483 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,560 Speaker 7: We want them to be the cheerleader, like we've we've 484 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,320 Speaker 7: got that culture. And I'm not saying that my wife 485 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,800 Speaker 7: isn't my cheerleader that, but I'm saying, your wife's cheerleading 486 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:39,399 Speaker 7: your character, not your career. That's better because the career 487 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 7: is up and down, Like the career is going to 488 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,560 Speaker 7: do whatever it's going to do, But your characters who 489 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:45,399 Speaker 7: you are, like, what do you want to be loved for? 490 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:46,720 Speaker 7: Do you want to be loved for the amount of 491 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,720 Speaker 7: followers you have, or do you want to be loved 492 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,879 Speaker 7: for who you are and how you show up and 493 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:54,200 Speaker 7: what she believes you represent. And so I think it's 494 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,240 Speaker 7: genuinely we're laughing about it, and it can have funny connotations, 495 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,520 Speaker 7: but I want to clarify, Like the point is, I 496 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 7: think we all want to be loved for who we 497 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,439 Speaker 7: are and not loved for what we achieve. 498 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,359 Speaker 12: I did start listening to your podcast last year. 499 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,200 Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us for the best of my legacy. 500 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,960 Speaker 1: New episodes drop every Tuesday. Don't forget to subscribe so 501 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:16,120 Speaker 1: you never miss a moment.