Speaker 1: Thank you for turning on my microphone. I appreciate. How's
Speaker 1: it feel.
Speaker 2: Just feel a little naked, just trying to do the
Speaker 2: video and the audio at the same time, just making
Speaker 2: sure that that's exactly how I did it last time
Speaker 2: when it worked.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think it looks great. You're going no
Speaker 1: headphones again. You're back to this no headphones game that
Speaker 1: drives me nuts. You're starting to remind me of Darren Peterson. Ah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna bring my headphones in the studio and then
Speaker 1: not wear them. I'm gonna warm up pre game, but
Speaker 1: then I'm not gonna play. But Kansas didn't freaking need them.
Speaker 1: We took down number one Arizona. I didn't get to
Speaker 1: watch it, so I don't have much to say, but
Speaker 1: rock chock jack hot. At the end of the year,
Speaker 1: I was ready to jump off the ship. I thought
Speaker 1: Bill self has lost it, but he has put this
Speaker 1: corps together and we are starting to march our way
Speaker 1: to the madness call. Then c Doble a tournament and
Speaker 1: we are hotter. Then a fire cracker, whoa pause.
Speaker 2: What I did want to say is, you're Peterson guy,
Speaker 2: with this load management, It's got to stop.
Speaker 1: You've got to stop with your arms inside your shirt.
Speaker 1: Can't do it, won't do it? Like you look like,
Speaker 1: what are you doing?
Speaker 2: Hey?
Speaker 1: Do you remember that joke where you used to put
Speaker 1: your sleeves your arms and your other sleeves and wrap
Speaker 1: them around and tickle your back like you're making out
Speaker 1: with someone. Do you remember that? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: remember that joke. That was funny.
Speaker 2: You remember when the guys would snap the girl's bras.
Speaker 1: I do remember that.
Speaker 2: I never could, oh never not wanted to get in trouble.
Speaker 1: Do you remember when you would uh get with someone
Speaker 1: in the corner and you put your hand over their
Speaker 1: mouth like you're making out, and people whoa with a dude? No,
Speaker 1: you know, Jim I mere, Hey, Marco, come here.
Speaker 2: We just faked them. Now they all think we kiss.
Speaker 2: Ain't funny.
Speaker 1: No, no, that's not what I was talking about. But
Speaker 1: my kids are on the one of hey, spell I cup,
Speaker 1: I seeup? Oh oh you said, I see you pere.
Speaker 1: That's the new one. I mean it was, hey, there's
Speaker 1: something under there?
Speaker 2: Underwear?
Speaker 1: Oh you said underwear. That's what I'm saying. That was
Speaker 1: that was earlier this week and late last week, and
Speaker 1: now it has shifted to hey, do you know how
Speaker 1: to spell I? Cup? Boom got them?
Speaker 2: So it's in the in the halls at schools where
Speaker 2: they're hearing this, and then they're bringing it to the house.
Speaker 1: Bringing it to the house. Also, what's your name?
Speaker 2: I'm lunch box?
Speaker 1: No, what's your name? Gibbles? No, what's your name?
Speaker 2: Dad? No?
Speaker 1: Your name? What's your name? Ray? What's this?
Speaker 2: Knows?
Speaker 1: What am I holding? Book? What am I holding?
Speaker 2: Nothing?
Speaker 1: Ray knows nothing? Haa. We do that all day long.
Speaker 1: That's good.
Speaker 2: I'm glad it's evolved from six to seven, Hey, four
Speaker 2: to one?
Speaker 1: What's your name? Ray? What's the color of the sky? Mm?
Speaker 2: Nashville gray?
Speaker 1: Now? Now, what's the color of the sky blue? What's
Speaker 1: the opposite of down?
Speaker 2: Not finishing it?
Speaker 1: Pause? No? No, what's the opposite of down?
Speaker 2: Blue? Job?
Speaker 1: What's the opposite of down? Up? Ray? Blue?
Speaker 2: Up?
Speaker 1: Okay, we do that, non freaking stop, non freaking stop.
Speaker 2: Does the wife play along?
Speaker 1: Sometimes she gets annoyed? Yeah, it was fun once, Oh dude.
Speaker 1: And then if one kid does it, guess what, the
Speaker 1: other kid has to do it, and then the third kid.
Speaker 2: Has to do it, and the other kids don't even
Speaker 2: know English, do they No, they do.
Speaker 1: I mean the one is four or five and seven.
Speaker 1: They all know how to talk, right, I'm learning Spanish now.
Speaker 1: I mean my four year old and five year old
Speaker 1: don't stop talking. Don't know where they get it from.
Speaker 1: They just brought no NonStop.
Speaker 2: No idea where they get it from? God unfollowed. The
Speaker 2: other day, a lady said that I mentioned an too
Speaker 2: many times. She hit the unfollowed button for the sore losers.
Speaker 2: I don't know, and I said, Dorothy, sorry to see
Speaker 2: you go. Don't let the door hitch on the way out.
Speaker 1: That's a good way to respond to our sword loser's nation.
Speaker 1: That's good.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure she was like, wow, we actually responded.
Speaker 2: Maybe I won't unfollow that.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's pretty cool. Yeah. So yeah, that's what's going
Speaker 1: on in my house. Man. We just do that over
Speaker 1: and over and over again. It's just all day long.
Speaker 1: But I have so much to talk about.
Speaker 2: Well, and I wanted to thank you. So it's what
Speaker 2: it's on the menu.
Speaker 1: What's on the menu.
Speaker 2: I would like to thank you for something. Okay, you
Speaker 2: have got so much to talk to us about.
Speaker 1: Oh crap, I forgot to bring Morgan her bag I'm
Speaker 1: gonna bring it tomorrow.
Speaker 2: So there's a menu. We are loaded. This is a
Speaker 2: big one. I wan if you will.
Speaker 1: Yeah, would you like to, you know, like say thank
Speaker 1: you to me? I don't know what it is. It's
Speaker 1: a tease, so that's just what's it? What it's on
Speaker 1: the menu. So do you want to tell me now
Speaker 1: or do you want to just like wait for a
Speaker 1: little bit. It's on the menu.
Speaker 2: We don't have to eat it all right now.
Speaker 1: I mean is it an appetizer? Is it a main course?
Speaker 1: Is it a dessert? What is it?
Speaker 2: Probably an app Okay, we could intro the show and
Speaker 2: then jump to it.
Speaker 1: I love it. I'll take a water, a coke and whatever.
Speaker 2: You want to thank me for.
Speaker 1: All right, We're gonna do it live. Oh the one
Speaker 1: two dude, sore loser? What up, everybody? I am lunchbox.
Speaker 1: I know the most about sports, so I'll give you
Speaker 1: the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much
Speaker 1: a sports genius, y'all.
Speaker 2: It is Sison. I'm from the North. I'm an alpha male.
Speaker 2: I live on the North side of Nashville. Now we've
Speaker 2: moved around. We're downtown west Side now North we got
Speaker 2: two point three three three acres. Me and my wife.
Speaker 2: We live in the country. We got two kids at Vanderbilt.
Speaker 2: They're probably defrosting now that it's seventy degrees. Justin needs
Speaker 2: that you on him, but he's in rehab. He is
Speaker 2: on New Beginnings Avenue in Michigan. That's it over to you,
Speaker 2: but then back over to me. Well done, because I
Speaker 2: got something for you.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: So I this is very simple. I didn't even think
Speaker 2: he was gonna be an a block, but I just
Speaker 2: wanted to say for being accommodating. I told you I
Speaker 2: have a tire issue, and vehicle wise, we're playing a
Speaker 2: little bit musical chairs, if you will, musical vehicles.
Speaker 1: I totally understand.
Speaker 2: And I said, hey, can we do a little moving
Speaker 2: around to the podcast and you accommodated.
Speaker 1: Can can you explain to me what is wrong with
Speaker 1: your tire? No idea.
Speaker 2: It's just balding. So it's like it rubs against the
Speaker 2: side of my vehicle. So three tires are perfect, one
Speaker 2: of them all the way down to the inner tube.
Speaker 2: Uh is it just.
Speaker 1: Gonna blow on the interstate? Great? I just got blown.
Speaker 1: But here's the problem. You have a huge tire on
Speaker 1: the roof of your truck. No, that's just a rack.
Speaker 1: There's not a tire up in there.
Speaker 2: Now, that's just rack city. Is there a tire on
Speaker 2: the bat Yeah, but doesn't match up with any the others.
Speaker 2: I'll be all, caddywomp, What do.
Speaker 1: You mean it doesn't match?
Speaker 2: The other ones are like mud tires, And now that's
Speaker 2: just a normal one. Got it'd probably throw off my
Speaker 2: entire vehicle.
Speaker 1: So how much you think in this tire is gonna cost?
Speaker 2: I already got it. My guy hooked it up, four
Speaker 2: of them for five.
Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait you're getting You only have one bad tire,
Speaker 1: so why are you getting four tires?
Speaker 2: The others are pretty worn too, But this one, for
Speaker 2: whatever reason, whenever my baby hits the interstate, it goes
Speaker 2: hard left and it just wears and wears and wears.
Speaker 2: Until one day I looked at it. I said, boy,
Speaker 2: that's missing tread. Oh whoa, that's a little bit of
Speaker 2: an inner tube sticking out.
Speaker 1: Whoa, that's a wire.
Speaker 2: I've been driving Baldy on I sixty five eighty miles
Speaker 2: an hour for the past two months.
Speaker 1: That's not good because I always see those blown tires
Speaker 1: on the side of the road, and I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: how scary is that?
Speaker 2: So Okay, I'm actually glad you said that, because semis
Speaker 2: do that, they don't die. So I'm thinking, if I
Speaker 2: drive this vehicle and it blows, am I gonna die?
Speaker 2: So that actually answers my questions.
Speaker 1: Oh, you're not a semi. Though they have eighteen wheels,
Speaker 1: they have plenty of spares. You are down to three
Speaker 1: and you go, does it go straight axle or does
Speaker 1: it slowly or does the whole thing just blop? No,
Speaker 1: it's good, but I'm just saying it's so bare.
Speaker 2: It's one of those basketballs we played with as a
Speaker 2: kid that has no more tread on it. It's a
Speaker 2: bare ball. There's no grip, it's no more ribbed.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I understand what you're saying. I am asking you,
Speaker 1: But if your tire does blue on the interstate, does
Speaker 1: it just shoot off or is it like it comes
Speaker 1: off and say you'll have tire left, no big deal?
Speaker 1: Or does it go straight to the axle? Finna find out.
Speaker 1: But what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna go in
Speaker 1: the interstate thirty miles an hour to work. Well, I
Speaker 1: don't want that. That is why I am here for you.
Speaker 1: I don't want you to be in danger, and I'm
Speaker 1: glad you're getting four new tires. Now? Are you getting
Speaker 1: the big mud tires? You're just getting normal tires now.
Speaker 2: I don't know my guy quoted me, but I'm not
Speaker 2: asking questions.
Speaker 1: If you're getting four for five. Yeah, I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: you're not getting the mud tires.
Speaker 2: Might be a hook up. I have no idea, but
Speaker 2: all I know is I said, Bazer, this is actually
Speaker 2: a code red. I need to take your vehicle. But
Speaker 2: you were accommodating. Thank you very much.
Speaker 1: You know what it used to be great when I
Speaker 1: had a tire hookup. I had a tire hook up
Speaker 1: for years when I was in college. My buddy David U,
Speaker 1: he's out of El Paso, Texas, one of his fraternity brothers,
Speaker 1: worked at a store that I think is no longer
Speaker 1: in business called Sears, and he would tell you, hey, man,
Speaker 1: just pull up at the back door, right. You know
Speaker 1: what they say, Sears are for deers. So I would
Speaker 1: pull up at the back door, hand them three hundred hp.
Speaker 1: He'd put four tires in the car. You drive off,
Speaker 1: and you got to go pay someone to put him
Speaker 1: on like a little shop. But dude, he would slide
Speaker 1: him right out the door.
Speaker 2: Because he was able. He knew where there's the excess tires.
Speaker 1: And he knew like when they were coming into the
Speaker 1: warehouse or whatever the you know, automotive department of sears,
Speaker 1: he would just add four tires didn't get there.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And also here we get extra merch. We could
Speaker 2: give people merch easily. Everybody knows at their job where
Speaker 2: there's loose ends, if you will, some fat on the
Speaker 2: cutting room, flore all of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And then over at a discount tire man, I
Speaker 1: had like three dudes, three dudes a discount tire. Josh
Speaker 1: Martin which speaking of Josh played on my soccer team
Speaker 1: growing up, Like we played soccer together from the age
Speaker 1: of like thirteen. Maybe you guys played foot see no,
Speaker 1: and we got him on our team. He had a
Speaker 1: mohawk and Henry rest in peace. Henry was like, we
Speaker 1: need to get that guy on just for some toughness.
Speaker 1: He's no longer with us now. Henry passed about a
Speaker 1: year ago.
Speaker 2: When we are telling these stories now and some of
Speaker 2: them include they're no longer with us, that's when we
Speaker 2: know we're getting older.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what's rough. That's a tough thing to do.
Speaker 1: But I was going through my phone the other day
Speaker 1: because it was saying I was out of storage, and
Speaker 1: I came to some text messages from Josh and I
Speaker 1: was like, man, I haven't heard from Martin in a while.
Speaker 1: So I hit him up. I was like, oh, Josh,
Speaker 1: how you been? And I got a reply not Josh's
Speaker 1: phone number. I am a drug dealer, so I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: so I don't know what happened to Martin. Man, I
Speaker 1: haven't heard from him. I hope he's okay. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was just weird. But anyway, back to my story.
Speaker 2: Yes, so joh left your own story.
Speaker 1: So Josh worked a discount tire. I was so rudely
Speaker 1: interrupted by myself and I met his when he worked there.
Speaker 1: He had a dude named Justin that worked with him.
Speaker 1: They would hook me up. And then there was another
Speaker 1: guy that our old intern, her brother, worked at Discount Tire.
Speaker 1: I think it's a paramedic now, but he would hook
Speaker 1: it up with tires. Like when I was moving to Nashville,
Speaker 1: you told me I stopped by Discount Tire right there
Speaker 1: on I thirty five and got tires.
Speaker 2: You hit me up before I left town. You go,
Speaker 2: do you need tires? And I said, no, what are
Speaker 2: you talking about? You go, I got a tire hook
Speaker 2: up if you want it, and I go, aren't we
Speaker 2: just going from Texas to Tennessee? What do you mean
Speaker 2: new tires? I'm not like breaking ground in the Oregon Trail.
Speaker 2: And You're like, I've got a hookup if you need tires.
Speaker 1: I believe his name was Chad Smith, if that was correct.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I had tire hookups. Man, it was the
Speaker 1: greatest thing ever. And so now I'm glad you have
Speaker 1: a tire hookup. I got a tire guy because I
Speaker 1: don't have a tire guy anymore. I go have lunch
Speaker 1: with him. We wine and dine. He gets me out
Speaker 1: four for five.
Speaker 2: That's pretty good. So I'm excited. But it props to
Speaker 2: me for noticing it. Man, I mean, but but then
Speaker 2: it's the American way. Am I gonna get it towed? No?
Speaker 1: No, that would cost money.
Speaker 2: Am I gonna drive on it with the potential of
Speaker 2: one of them blowing?
Speaker 1: Yes? Well, you really only have the potential of one
Speaker 1: to blow.
Speaker 2: Right, But I'm saying if it blows and it blows
Speaker 2: me so hard I get injured.
Speaker 1: It's like that on a roll when you blow.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm you said semis, So now I think
Speaker 2: semis are usually upright. The tire just blows. It's not
Speaker 2: like it's a bomb. This has been going through my head.
Speaker 2: You're helping me actually understand this.
Speaker 1: Please talk to me about what goes through your head.
Speaker 2: So, if this tire was to explode, is it like
Speaker 2: a bomb or is it just an immediate Oh no,
Speaker 2: there goes my tire. I get off the road. Let's
Speaker 2: get it towed. I think I can get away with
Speaker 2: it for forty five minutes driving down a road thirty
Speaker 2: miles an hour, get it to where it needs to go,
Speaker 2: risking at the risk of it blowing and getting injured.
Speaker 2: But I mean, oh man, I injured my foot. I
Speaker 2: was trying to save a two hundred dollars tow job.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't think you have to worry about it.
Speaker 1: I don't think you need to go thirty. I would
Speaker 1: like to then go thirty. Dude, you do you. I
Speaker 1: just want you to feel safe because we need you
Speaker 1: here to do the pod tomorrow.
Speaker 2: But hey, that same car that you were offering tires
Speaker 2: too in Texas. Is the same car I drive today? Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's how loyal am twenty years Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, ultimately you know the one that that was the
Speaker 1: car that had the tires in Austin now just sits
Speaker 1: in front of my house and doesn't do anything. It
Speaker 1: just sits there and grows weeds.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there is something about keeping old cars. We used
Speaker 2: to joke back at Mike Miller's place because Mike Miller
Speaker 2: would always have the BMW's and the Escalades. And then
Speaker 2: I had the same vehicle, the Trailblazer, and Billy had
Speaker 2: I want to say, a newer Acura, but it wasn't.
Speaker 2: It was like it was gold. I mean it was nice,
Speaker 2: but his was he. We called it to pop Up,
Speaker 2: and then we called mine the RV because it just
Speaker 2: looked like we were a couple of homeless people pulling
Speaker 2: into Mike Miller's every weekend. But now Billy's onto Porsches
Speaker 2: and all kinds of things and jet skis and motor
Speaker 2: boat and all that.
Speaker 1: But i'd motor boat also.
Speaker 2: I am still in the Trailblazer from the days where
Speaker 2: he would drive the pop up and we'd go to
Speaker 2: the every weekend to the RV Park, which was actually
Speaker 2: a really nice condo complex in Austin.
Speaker 1: That's pretty cool because, like I mean, chess Day's dad
Speaker 1: had this old beat up truck when we were younger,
Speaker 1: and he got in a wreck and he was trying
Speaker 1: to get it to like because he was a surveyor
Speaker 1: and so he was.
Speaker 2: He drove all over WHOA did the tire blow?
Speaker 1: No, And I think he was trying to get it
Speaker 1: to five hundred thousand.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe I've made that mileage up. That could be just
Speaker 1: an absolute, maybe three hundred thousand, I don't know what
Speaker 1: it was.
Speaker 2: Maybe might have been how many women he'd slept with,
Speaker 2: but he'd gotten a wreck.
Speaker 1: Ray that number was significantly lower. They gotten a wreck
Speaker 1: and they wanted to total his car, the truck. They
Speaker 1: were gonna gi him four hundred bucks for it, and
Speaker 1: he said, uh, no, thank you. He brought it home.
Speaker 1: In the front of it. We got a crowbar and
Speaker 1: started pulling the metal out so he could still drive
Speaker 1: it because he was only going to give the four.
Speaker 1: He was only going to get the four. And he
Speaker 1: was like, man, I'm trying to get to a certain
Speaker 1: one hundred thousand miles.
Speaker 2: Dude. The thing that I'm not getting is you kept
Speaker 2: driving your vehicle after was totaled.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can still drive them, right, But I mean,
Speaker 1: why not safe? Though?
Speaker 2: I think that's what it is in retrospect. Should you
Speaker 2: have just never turned it in?
Speaker 1: No? I should have, oh, because I mean, like I
Speaker 1: could feel the wind coming in the back of the vehicle. Oh.
Speaker 1: I checked the rear view mirror. Rear view mirror was
Speaker 1: still good. But the back hatch was so dented in
Speaker 1: that there was a space between the bumper and the
Speaker 1: back hatch. So win would.
Speaker 2: Could you have gotten the check without handing over the car?
Speaker 1: You can get like ten thousand dollars less than they
Speaker 1: were offering you, Like, you could take the wrecked car
Speaker 1: and get fifteen thousand dollars or you can get twenty
Speaker 1: five thousand dollars.
Speaker 2: I would have done wreck car and got to fifteen
Speaker 2: thousand dollars. Check.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know if it was safe to drive.
Speaker 2: Oh that's right. You got a family, my bad?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and we'll take a break. And speaking of
Speaker 1: my family, I got some stories about them right after
Speaker 1: this ray.
Speaker 2: Seriously, that blown out tire, that's nothing to mess with.
Speaker 1: I got a tire guy.
Speaker 2: Dude, will you ask some of your tire people?
Speaker 1: I will. If I could text Josh, I would.
Speaker 2: Man the one wrong number guy say hey, well do
Speaker 2: you got to google? What do you think can my
Speaker 2: buddy drive on a bad tire? Hey?
Speaker 1: Well, Josh used to work a discount tires, So that's
Speaker 1: why I was hitting them up. I was wondering, could
Speaker 1: you answer my question about tires?
Speaker 2: All the technological advances, and they don't just kill our
Speaker 2: numbers off, like you could still text. Like this other
Speaker 2: person that used to have my number, this lancing number.
Speaker 2: I get text from her all the time. Hey you
Speaker 2: owe mortgage. I'm like, wrong person. I don't live in Michigan,
Speaker 2: so weird, right, And so people that have my old number,
Speaker 2: my friends will text them. So those numbers just never
Speaker 2: die off. They have to stay in the system. Weird.
Speaker 1: That is strange, Like once that person gets rid of
Speaker 1: that number, it should delete from your phone.
Speaker 2: It doesn't because I get it from all the time.
Speaker 2: This lady in East Lansing, she owed a back pay
Speaker 2: on mortgages. She owed whatever one of those rent things
Speaker 2: are where you get a storage locker that she never
Speaker 2: paid for. There's all this crap she owes, and she
Speaker 2: gets texts all the time about it.
Speaker 1: Huh, that is weird. But anyway, so this weekend man
Speaker 1: Friday night, kids school was like, Hey, we will take
Speaker 1: your kids and keep them here till eight thirty for free.
Speaker 1: I said, awesome. Told the wife, I said, we are
Speaker 1: going out to dinner. We are going to a restaurant
Speaker 1: where we don't have to worry about screaming kids, kids,
Speaker 1: we don't have to worry about spilled milk. We can
Speaker 1: just sit there, relax, eat some nice food. Cookout on
Speaker 1: West End. No, not cookout now were we wanted a
Speaker 1: waiter experience, waiter waitress.
Speaker 2: Sometimes they'll come and get the trash off the table.
Speaker 1: That's pretty good, but they don't come and take your order.
Speaker 1: You got to go to them to give your order.
Speaker 1: So we walk into this place and I'm my heck yeah.
Speaker 1: We show up and the ladies like, can I pour
Speaker 1: you a welcome cocktail? I'm like, uh sure, I'm going
Speaker 1: to need the address. Oh yeah, And she's like, we
Speaker 1: have our homemade apple cider with some spicy something blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. Yeah sounds great. She puts it in a
Speaker 1: little cup cheers we drink. Was she hot? She was
Speaker 1: all right. I wouldn't say not, but I wouldn't say hot.
Speaker 1: She's all right.
Speaker 2: Male or female.
Speaker 1: When it's a she, it's a female, okay. And so
Speaker 1: we go and they take us out and we sit
Speaker 1: on the little patios, freezing cold. But they had heaters,
Speaker 1: so it's awesome. Great. We have the whole patio to ourself.
Speaker 1: No one else out there. Hmm. I think we were
Speaker 1: one of those last minute reservations, you know, where everything
Speaker 1: else was booked up. So we were outside got it, yeah,
Speaker 1: because we booked it on like Thursday. And uh so
Speaker 1: we sit down, we are looking at the menu. The
Speaker 1: waiter comes over and gives me this spiel about how
Speaker 1: everything works. There's this, there's that. You want to order this,
Speaker 1: you want to order that, you want to try this,
Speaker 1: you want to try that that. That's how you get
Speaker 1: the most bang for your buck.
Speaker 2: QR code COVID times no, he and it is a
Speaker 2: real menu. Always got to love that. Oh you just
Speaker 2: pull out your phone in QR coded. I'm old school.
Speaker 1: Give me a menu.
Speaker 2: I want to touch it. I want to touch some grass.
Speaker 1: Can I tell you I would rather have a menu
Speaker 1: in my hands. QR code. Yeah, let me do. Let
Speaker 1: me what do I do? Put the flash flight on? Hey? Hey,
Speaker 1: like I get it during COVID times, Like you want
Speaker 1: to do the QR code. But now that we're back,
Speaker 1: let let's let's hand people the menu. I want to
Speaker 1: hold the menu.
Speaker 2: Not to take from your story, I refuse to if
Speaker 2: they don't give me the menu, baser, what should I get?
Speaker 2: I'm not pulling up on my she picks out my
Speaker 2: food for me. Do you have an espresso martini? Give
Speaker 2: me something close to that? Right right, I'm not going
Speaker 2: to key in my QR code. I don't do that. Uh.
Speaker 2: Do you guys have like a bread as an app?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll do that. Cool.
Speaker 1: Oh, I don't is it on the menu?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I didn't look at it. I'm not
Speaker 2: QR coding it. Just get me something.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, we have a problem in this society
Speaker 1: about being on our phones too much. And then I'm
Speaker 1: at a restaurant and I'm supposed to conversate with the
Speaker 1: people at the table, if it's my wife, if it's
Speaker 1: a group of friends, whatever it is, and you want
Speaker 1: me to pull out my phone and look up your menu.
Speaker 1: That's the exact opposite of what I want to do.
Speaker 1: And it's not pulling up right away, it's it's loading.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, no reception man like you guys got Wi Fi? Like,
Speaker 1: what's going on? Guys?
Speaker 2: Got anything crazy? What's on the menu? You should just
Speaker 2: like tell us wait for it to load. A little bit.
Speaker 1: Water on the menu, or got a QR code? Can?
Speaker 1: Can I bor your phone? What I need to get
Speaker 1: in the QR code? No, I'm the waiter. I don't
Speaker 1: give a damn give your phone anyway. He starts going
Speaker 1: over some of the stuff and he tells me, oh,
Speaker 1: that right there, that will change your life. I'm like, really,
Speaker 1: that item on your menu is going to change my life.
Speaker 1: I know what it was. Go ahead, sex on the beach. No.
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, I'll take some of that.
Speaker 1: Give me some of that and he brings it out,
Speaker 1: take a bite. My wife's like, what do you think?
Speaker 1: I said? It's good. She goes, does it change your life?
Speaker 2: Nope?
Speaker 1: Now my life is still the same. I tasted something decent,
Speaker 1: but my life is no way changed. It's not something
Speaker 1: that it's gonna like six months for now. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, remember when I had that
Speaker 1: and it changed my life? No, I didn't. All right, cool,
Speaker 1: so let me, you know, bring out some other items.
Speaker 1: We eat and then Donny whipped cream. It is near
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day. This one pasta comes out and it's like
Speaker 1: a pesto pasta. Did you go to Italy? No? And
Speaker 1: take a few bites, you know, I mean that's pretty good.
Speaker 1: Comes back over, he's like, what do you think of
Speaker 1: the pasta? Well? Who is this? Guys? I'm alli a
Speaker 1: thank you? Get lost? This is no the way he
Speaker 1: was talking, dude, would I killed the guy? Hey, you're
Speaker 1: about to kill them? You're about to kill him?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I threw it in my mouth and
Speaker 2: ate it. What do you want? Give me another drink?
Speaker 1: Barkeep and I'm like all right, you know whatever. Comes
Speaker 1: over and I'm eating some of the pasta. You know,
Speaker 1: it's pesto pasta kinda. He's like, what do you think?
Speaker 1: And my wife and I are both like, it's pretty good,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like I like the you know,
Speaker 1: the taste like has a little bit of taste of
Speaker 1: walnut because they had some walnut in there or something.
Speaker 1: And he goes, I know everybody you know can be
Speaker 1: a little intimidated by it when they read it on
Speaker 1: the menu. But I gotta say, it's very approachable. This
Speaker 1: guy serious, what are you michelin Man. I'm like, what
Speaker 1: the hell do you mean approachable? I approached it like
Speaker 1: I have approached, like I see this, I see this pasta,
Speaker 1: And you think I'm gonna be intimidated. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: approach it. It's like it's too standoffish, like where you
Speaker 1: are now free to approach the pasta. Yeah, it is approachable.
Speaker 1: It has a The apasta has a very open mind.
Speaker 1: It is very approachable. It's open to new people. The
Speaker 1: apasta has approacheth my mouth hah, And I'm just like
Speaker 1: And she walks away, and my wife listen to me.
Speaker 1: She goes, don't don't. I'm like, what. She goes, You're
Speaker 1: gonna make fun of him for saying approachable. And I said, absolutely,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make fun of him for saying approachable. What
Speaker 1: the hell does that mean? How is food approachable?
Speaker 2: I no longer want the address.
Speaker 1: You don't want the address. So then we eat, you know,
Speaker 1: we finish up, and he's like, I'm just gonna drop
Speaker 1: by the dessert menu. You know what I mean. There's
Speaker 1: no pressure, there's no rush. I'm just gonna tell you
Speaker 1: that we have this this, and then we have this
Speaker 1: tearram asuit. And oh, if you say you don't like
Speaker 1: Tara Massoux, this is totally different. It's made differently, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you that Tira Masoux will change your life.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna need that address again. And once he said
Speaker 2: I love Taramasou, Oh do you I'm back in.
Speaker 1: I am not a Terra Masoux fan. But once he said,
Speaker 1: your wife put me in the fridge. Once he said
Speaker 1: that it was going to change my life. You know what,
Speaker 1: I knew that I didn't need to order it because
Speaker 1: I already had something on the menu earlier that he
Speaker 1: said was going to change my life. And it didn't
Speaker 1: change my life. So his life and my life are
Speaker 1: completely different.
Speaker 2: What was the first thing, the eggs? I totally didn't
Speaker 2: even hear the first thing.
Speaker 1: It was something called sea urchin. I don't even know
Speaker 1: what that is.
Speaker 2: Okay, So sea urchin, pasta and Taramasoux. Those are the
Speaker 2: only three things you guys got.
Speaker 1: No, we got other things. But he didn't say they
Speaker 1: would change my life. He didn't say that it was approachable.
Speaker 1: These are the three notable items that he said were
Speaker 1: going to change our perspective on the world. You ever
Speaker 1: heard of pizza burgers? Yeah, we have, but we can
Speaker 1: do that with the kids. You can't go to like
Speaker 1: a sit down restaurant that has sea urchin. I don't
Speaker 1: even know. And he told me, uh yeah, it's the
Speaker 1: sea urchin that will change your life. And so he
Speaker 1: walked away. So I looked at the menu. Dude, I
Speaker 1: read it. I flipped it over. That's all. My wife said,
Speaker 1: I don't even see sea urchin on here. She looks
Speaker 1: at it, flips it over, and she didn't see sea
Speaker 1: urchin on there.
Speaker 2: Off the menu pricing. That's why you gotta go to
Speaker 2: my spot cookout. Bro.
Speaker 1: No, hey, you guys are hey, man.
Speaker 2: What's up. I'll get you out right now. Yeah, just
Speaker 2: come on front.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love that place.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah, just be a second one, all right, man,
Speaker 1: Well that's not how this guy talks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, put some chili. Oh you want me put some
Speaker 2: chili on top of that? Yeah, just do like the
Speaker 2: dog and then the chili dog.
Speaker 1: And then he says, yeah, man, yeah, there's this chili dog.
Speaker 1: It's real approachable. Ah.
Speaker 2: He doesn't hit you with that. He just goes, you
Speaker 2: can approach the drive through. Man' at you that right now?
Speaker 1: And then no, it's about to get it's you. It's
Speaker 1: about to hit the fan.
Speaker 2: They talk like that because it's like two am, and
Speaker 2: they literally hate every drunk person in that line.
Speaker 1: Oh for for sure. So I know I'm not ordering
Speaker 1: the terra masou because that ain't gonna change my life,
Speaker 1: just like the sea urchin. But anyway, when he came back,
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, man, I gotta be honest with you.
Speaker 1: I don't even see sea urchin on your menu. And
Speaker 1: he goes, oh no, no, it's over here. It's called unie. Man. Well,
Speaker 1: then why didn't you tell me that unie would change
Speaker 1: my life? Why did you say sea orch He goes,
Speaker 1: it's just another term for it.
Speaker 2: We call it unie because it makes you go ooh me,
Speaker 2: So get the hell away from my wife, sir.
Speaker 1: We order a piece of cheesecake. Cool. Eat The cheesecake
Speaker 1: is fine, nothing great, nothing amazing. Thought the terra Masou. No, No,
Speaker 1: he wanted me to because it was going to change
Speaker 1: my life. That's two items on one menu that's going
Speaker 1: to change my life. I already had the first, didn't
Speaker 1: change my life, No need to try the second. His
Speaker 1: taste bud They're obviously different than my taste buds. And
Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna check his taste buds out once again.
Speaker 1: I already did it once, not doing it twice. It
Speaker 1: sounds like the.
Speaker 2: Type of guy that's coming around to your table and
Speaker 2: he's giving your wife a massage as he's talking to you.
Speaker 1: He might have I don't know. It was dark, dark,
Speaker 1: dimly lit, dimly lit. For sure, there was a candle.
Speaker 1: There was a candle, And so I'm like, all right,
Speaker 1: you know what, hey put your sea arch in a
Speaker 1: way we ate the chase gate right, all right, man,
Speaker 1: we'll take the bill. Thank you. Brings it over and
Speaker 1: he goes, I'm just gonna leave this right here. There's
Speaker 1: no rush, there's no hurry. I appreciate the time you
Speaker 1: guys gave me tonight, he goes, and I gotta be honest,
Speaker 1: you guys killed it.
Speaker 2: Is this the most polite guy in America?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's about to get better. You're complimenting me.
Speaker 1: He was like, you guys, killed it. You know you
Speaker 1: I brought different foods. You guys were open.
Speaker 2: Minded and whoa pause? What do you mean open mind?
Speaker 2: He trying to hook up my wife?
Speaker 1: Unpaused, and I'm like, okay, he's like And I just
Speaker 1: got to say, you guys were my first table tonight
Speaker 1: and you guys were incredible. You guys have set the
Speaker 1: tone for a magnificent evening for me. Thank you for
Speaker 1: bringing that kind of energy. Oh my gosh, please shut up.
Speaker 1: Please tell this guy to shut up. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm never coming back here again. How did you even
Speaker 1: deal with that? Oh? Hey, dude, I couldn't.
Speaker 2: I couldn't have went a straight face, especially after a
Speaker 2: drake got to be like is this guy serious?
Speaker 1: I thought he was just I was like, is this
Speaker 1: for real? And like there was one time? There was
Speaker 1: one time? Right, he brings us out this one appetizer
Speaker 1: or something I don't know, and he puts this the
Speaker 1: silverware out there, puts a knife out there, and then
Speaker 1: he comes back when we're done, and I never even
Speaker 1: touched the knife, and he cleared the table, picked up
Speaker 1: the knife and put down clean silverware, the exact same
Speaker 1: kind of knife. And I said isn't that just the
Speaker 1: same exact night. He goes, Yeah, but my boss would
Speaker 1: kill me if I didn't give you a new one.
Speaker 1: I didn't even touch the old one, man, I haven't
Speaker 1: even touched it. A little bit of grease on it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, man, you guys. I really appreciate you guys
Speaker 1: bringing that energy. You guys really started my evening off great,
Speaker 1: a fantastic table and have really just like invigorated the
Speaker 1: night and the rest of the table. So far, it's
Speaker 1: been splendid. But it couldn't have been splendid without you
Speaker 1: guys starting out the evening the way you did.
Speaker 2: At this point, I'd have been like, you know what,
Speaker 2: we actually are in a rush? There's you said, there's
Speaker 2: no rush. There is a rush. Our uber just got here.
Speaker 2: See you later. And that's when we walked out, We're
Speaker 2: going to cookout. I looked at my wife I got
Speaker 2: as we get in the car, and I said.
Speaker 1: What the f did he mean? Approachable? And I said,
Speaker 1: and we set the tone for the night. She goes, Okay,
Speaker 1: that may have been a little over the top.
Speaker 2: That dude wanted your wife.
Speaker 1: That was our Friday night. Man, I know where you went.
Speaker 1: You might know.
Speaker 2: Is it the melting pot place where they put uh no,
Speaker 2: they put cocoa and stuff on marshmallows.
Speaker 1: Nope, that wasn't it. They put cheese on bread. Nope,
Speaker 1: we'll take a break. We'll right back.
Speaker 2: That was good man. And then but that just gave
Speaker 2: me a great idea. There was an old place I
Speaker 2: used to throw it back with the old lady.
Speaker 1: But it was in Bellevue.
Speaker 2: And I don't want to.
Speaker 1: Drive all the way there, oh man, not on that
Speaker 1: tire it was. They're not driving on that tire. I'm
Speaker 1: just warning you. It was to get there. That reminds
Speaker 1: me that was a good spot. And I went for.
Speaker 2: Valentine's Day what was it called Man Sperry's. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: I'm never getting in.
Speaker 1: We had reservations weeks ahead of time. Well anyway, So
Speaker 1: then Saturday comes along, Man, it's time for basketball.
Speaker 2: Mistersees Basketball Challenge.
Speaker 1: We're not at Mister C's Reading Challenge. We're not there yet.
Speaker 1: We're at the kids basketball game. So the two younger ones,
Speaker 1: baby Box two and three, are on the same team.
Speaker 1: They play at one o'clock. Baby Box one plays at
Speaker 1: one thirty separate gyms. So with the Vandy game for
Speaker 1: mister Seas Reading Challenge starts at two thirty, so we
Speaker 1: are gonna be booking it. We gotta be moving fast, no, dilly,
Speaker 1: No doubtly. So we drop off Mom and baby Box
Speaker 1: one at his game at twelve thirty, even though it's
Speaker 1: not till one thirty, and we drive over to the
Speaker 1: other gymnasium for the one o'clock showdown for the New
Speaker 1: Jersey Nets versus whoever we're playing. And we get there
Speaker 1: and there's like ten minutes left in the game before ours.
Speaker 1: So the boys are dribbling their basketball around the gym
Speaker 1: and this guy gets up from the scores table sprints
Speaker 1: across the gym. Hey, hey, no bouncing the basketballs What?
Speaker 1: No bouncing basketball is in here? Last I looked, this
Speaker 1: is a basketball court. It's too distracting for who the players?
Speaker 1: You mean the four or five and six year olds
Speaker 1: that are playing that don't even know we're in this gym. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: no bouncing the basketball is in the gym. I'm never
Speaker 1: having kids. See, I would never run into this. I said, oh, hey, guys, sorry,
Speaker 1: I know you're about to play a basketball game, but
Speaker 1: you're not allowed to bounce the basketballs in the basketball gym. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that went overwhell yeah, that lasted about thirty seconds.
Speaker 1: Dude got back to the table and kids, what do
Speaker 1: they do? They forget things, they forget their mind gets distracted.
Speaker 1: They start leaking, They start doing bounce passes back and forth.
Speaker 1: And he stands up at the scores.
Speaker 2: Here we go, old man River.
Speaker 1: And I'm thinking, oh, great, here he comes. He's gonna
Speaker 1: sprint across. Instead, he stands up and he gives the
Speaker 1: throat slash. No, no, no no. I taped the kids. Hey, guys,
Speaker 1: you gotta quit, you gotta quit, and they quit, and
Speaker 1: I was just like, wow, who knew dribbling basketballs in
Speaker 1: a gym.
Speaker 2: Will distract other people? Dribbling the basketball.
Speaker 1: Correct, really just gonna screw with everybody?
Speaker 2: Cool?
Speaker 1: All right, no problem. We have the game and we
Speaker 1: get our first win of the season. Baby box two,
Speaker 1: Baby box two with four baskets? What is he?
Speaker 2: Peterson?
Speaker 1: Uh? And he he did get tackled three times breakaways.
Speaker 1: He was going for the.
Speaker 2: Hoop and sounds like Piston's hornets the other night.
Speaker 1: And kids were just tackling from behind. They didn't another
Speaker 1: team they were They thought they were on the grid iron.
Speaker 1: They were getting ready for Super Bowl Sunday. They didn't
Speaker 1: know what they were doing. They were pretty physical, but
Speaker 1: we won the game. So then we immediately get the
Speaker 1: car drive over to the other gymnasium.
Speaker 2: That was the purpose of dropping them off thirty minutes
Speaker 2: before the game.
Speaker 1: Yes, that way we could get over there before their
Speaker 1: game ended. So right when they're done, they can hop
Speaker 1: in the car and we can book it to mister
Speaker 1: Reading Challenge. So we get in the car and we
Speaker 1: er baby Box one lost the game. That's a mute
Speaker 1: mute point. It doesn't really matter, and we're driving. Was
Speaker 1: your your game of Vandy? Uh, mister C's Reading Challenge
Speaker 1: was at Vandy. Get ready.
Speaker 2: They ask you for your COVID card every time when
Speaker 2: Justin goes there.
Speaker 1: And so the game starts at two point thirty. We
Speaker 1: get in the car at two to oh eight. Now,
Speaker 1: my guys, we gotta go. We have got to move.
Speaker 1: No Delhi, no Dally. So we're you know, we'erving and
Speaker 1: you know, we took ways because we wanted to see
Speaker 1: if there was any back way. We didn't want to
Speaker 1: hit traffic. I mean, yeah, it's only Nashville. You did
Speaker 1: know every back road, but yeah, but you don't know
Speaker 1: which way the traffic is gonna be coming for the
Speaker 1: big game Vandy versus Oklahoma.
Speaker 2: Ray, we tried to make it through the Sorority row,
Speaker 2: quite the shortcut I found. Yeah, ladies, love what you're
Speaker 2: doing for the campus.
Speaker 1: So mister C's Reading Challenge had already promised me free tickets,
Speaker 1: free tickets for my kids reading three hundred minutes in
Speaker 1: the month of January, and ended up there were no
Speaker 1: free tickets and we paid one hundred and sixty dollars. Okay, cool.
Speaker 1: So we're one hundred and sixty dollars in and we
Speaker 1: hadn't even got there yet, and we pull up to
Speaker 1: the parking garage and it says forty dollars to park,
Speaker 1: forty dollars to park for a Vandy basketball game. M hmm,
Speaker 1: my god. And I'm like, well, now we're two hundred
Speaker 1: in and we haven't stepped foot in the arena.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's we're gonna They're gonna get you. It's called fleecing. Oh.
Speaker 1: And I pull up and I roll down the window.
Speaker 1: The lady's like, that'll be forty dollars and she go,
Speaker 1: I go discount for future students genius. And this was
Speaker 1: her reaction, that'll be forty dollars, blows right through it.
Speaker 1: All right, cool, handle the credit card, she taps it.
Speaker 1: You should have thrown Justin's name out there. And she said,
Speaker 1: all right, feel free to park anywhere.
Speaker 2: Oh, he was dishonorably discharged.
Speaker 1: She said feel free to park anywhere. I said, oh,
Speaker 1: here's good. I put it in park, literally at the entrance,
Speaker 1: literally at the entrance, literally did not move an inch.
Speaker 1: And I throw it in bark and I started to unbuckle.
Speaker 1: And this is her reaction. You can go in, sir.
Speaker 1: You didn't even pull in. I didn't even pull in.
Speaker 1: I didn't even pull in. See to me, that is hilarious, dude.
Speaker 1: She was really ready to kill you. Oh she was
Speaker 1: ready to kill me. I mean, my one joke doesn't land.
Speaker 2: So you hit her with here's good, you better laugh
Speaker 2: next time.
Speaker 1: She just tells me you can go in. You stop
Speaker 1: in line in park. I did not put it in park.
Speaker 1: I literally put it in park in the seatbelt off.
Speaker 1: And she was not having any of my jokes. Doesn't
Speaker 1: enjoy my humor. I'm like, all right, cool, that's cool,
Speaker 1: all right, so we go. We're going up the garage.
Speaker 1: Find a parking spot on the fourth level, right next
Speaker 1: to the elevator. Get down, get over to the stadium.
Speaker 1: There's it's cold as all get out, and we get there.
Speaker 1: We walk in and the guys like, you know where
Speaker 1: you're going, and me being cocky, old Cockerson, you're still
Speaker 1: cocking it. Hell yeah, I go, oh yeah, we just
Speaker 1: go here to the right and we go up. So
Speaker 1: we go to the right, go up. Our seats are
Speaker 1: on the other side the stadium.
Speaker 2: Oh man, oh man, you should have told me you
Speaker 2: were a doctor. I thought that's shir what you're gonna
Speaker 2: hit me with.
Speaker 1: Ah man, So we gotta go back down. I'm a
Speaker 1: doctor here you're wearing a ratted sweatshirt. After walking up
Speaker 1: to the third floor of this freaking arena. A lot
Speaker 1: of stairs. Gotta go back down, and then we gotta
Speaker 1: go around the stadium. Then the kids are hungry, so
Speaker 1: I'm all right, let's get some food.
Speaker 2: And that stadium's tight when you're trying to move in
Speaker 2: and around.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not a very it's very narrow, narrow, always
Speaker 1: a lot of people, like.
Speaker 2: A mouse trap for adults. Yes, you get trapped in there.
Speaker 2: And then I know Ray in the bathroom.
Speaker 1: We can hear it in quarter the opening tip off happening,
Speaker 1: and we're still not to our seats. Is it a trough, No,
Speaker 1: they had an individual jurnal. But it is tight. It
Speaker 1: is tight. They are there, they are They get them
Speaker 1: all the way. Like people coming out of the stalls
Speaker 1: are hitting you with the door as you're at the urinal.
Speaker 1: What you're working with? Mark? Oh hey, Joe, Oh god,
Speaker 1: the dang door hit me in the back. Man, it's
Speaker 1: pete all in my hand. It's really annoying. But they
Speaker 1: like it. It's like a cool stadium. It is pretty.
Speaker 1: There's not a bad seat. Those your trunk hang low,
Speaker 1: does it? Wabble floor doesn't wash your hands? Boys? And
Speaker 1: so then the boys are hungry. So then I go
Speaker 1: up to the registrano. I'm like, all right, I need
Speaker 1: an order of two orders of chicken tenders. I need
Speaker 1: a hot dog, I need a pretzel. Oh I'm sorry, sir,
Speaker 1: we don't have any tenders at this station. You have
Speaker 1: to go right over there.
Speaker 2: You gotta get the tend's.
Speaker 1: But it says Tendy's on your menu right there. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but we're not. We don't have them at this You
Speaker 1: got to go over there to order the Tendys.
Speaker 2: You're not authorized to sell them.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. So I just waited in line for
Speaker 1: Tendy's and you guys don't have Tendy's. This is great.
Speaker 1: So we turn around and we walk across. I need
Speaker 1: two baskets Attendy's. It's amazing. A hot dog six seven bucks,
Speaker 1: Tendy's fourteen dollars. What three Tendy's and some potato chips
Speaker 1: fourteen freaking dollars, high demand premium meat. And then we
Speaker 1: got to get water because the kids haven't drink at anything,
Speaker 1: so four bottles of water, so that'd be fifty eight dollars.
Speaker 1: So now we are two hundred and fifty eight dollars
Speaker 1: into this freaking event that was supposed to be free.
Speaker 2: We always had a rule waters only. Pops was never
Speaker 2: getting us stuff.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, Well we hadn't eat and lunch, and
Speaker 1: they just had basketball games were they were hungry.
Speaker 2: Dad would get one lemonade and you can refill it
Speaker 2: in the water fountain and the lemonade sugar will still
Speaker 2: be in there.
Speaker 1: So it makes about three cups oh, and so I'm
Speaker 1: just like, god, dang, this is this is the worst
Speaker 1: game of my life. Like, we spent so much freaking
Speaker 1: money to go to this Mister Sas Reading challenge, and
Speaker 1: then we're at the top of the top. Man, we
Speaker 1: are way up there in the arena. We get to
Speaker 1: the seats. Finally we get there. We sit down baby
Speaker 1: box three. I got a poo poo. Okay, seriously, we
Speaker 1: just got here. We just got here. And here's the
Speaker 1: cool thing about this arena. When you go up to
Speaker 1: the third floor, there are no bathrooms up there, so
Speaker 1: you gotta go down to the second floor. And you
Speaker 1: know the cool thing about this arena wood No, I
Speaker 1: was twelve rows up. You know the cool thing about
Speaker 1: this arena is there are no bathrooms on the second floor,
Speaker 1: so you gotta go down all the way down to
Speaker 1: the first floor to go to the bathroom. So after
Speaker 1: climbing all those stairs, you gotta go back down and
Speaker 1: then back. I mean, awesome.
Speaker 2: You know what our flaw was when me and Justin
Speaker 2: went what we sat seats for perverd We sat in
Speaker 2: somebody else's seats. We sat in the band section. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: these are ours? Uh No, they're not. That's where the
Speaker 2: band sits. You got us. They were perfect seats, though,
Speaker 2: justin of all the seats we picked, where the freaking
Speaker 2: band sits.
Speaker 1: Dude, you idiot one of the kids, as you pick
Speaker 1: one of the thirty seats, are there? All right? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're lying, all right? Those aren't your seats? Yeah they are,
Speaker 1: that's where the team sits. I was wondering why there
Speaker 1: was a pad. Pretty comfy, those are good. I was
Speaker 1: wondering why there was a white board. I thought I
Speaker 1: was writing messages. I wonder why my seat was sponsored.
Speaker 1: I get it. Let's go stack owls. So my wife
Speaker 1: takes them down to the bathrooms. I was like, I
Speaker 1: ain't going. My name's Benn, and I'm not in it.
Speaker 1: And so we sit there and we start the game,
Speaker 1: and of course we're by none of the kids at
Speaker 1: the school because we had to buy our So wherever
Speaker 1: the free seats were for mister C's reading challenge, they
Speaker 1: weren't near us. Jeez. And let me tell you, they're
Speaker 1: just benches, so there's no back, so you're just sitting there,
Speaker 1: and as you get older, you want backs on your seat. Guys.
Speaker 1: I'm just telling you it's just more comfortable. And let
Speaker 1: me tell you, these kids are exhausted. They are laying
Speaker 1: on the benches, they're laying on the bleachers, they're laying
Speaker 1: in your lap, and Vanderbilt is proceeding to get their
Speaker 1: butts kicked. Really, they were getting stomped. Three for Oklahoma,
Speaker 1: three for Oklahoma, three for Oklahoma. It was like twenty
Speaker 1: four to six right out the gate. That's rare, They're good.
Speaker 1: It was so ugly. Then here comes Vandy. They make
Speaker 1: a run, get it to twenty four seventeen. Then they
Speaker 1: go on a run and I think it happened was
Speaker 1: forty one twenty seven or something like that Oklahoma. And
Speaker 1: we're like, wow, all right, cool. Then they're doing pictures
Speaker 1: on the jumbo tron, like, oh and scan this QR
Speaker 1: code and you can send us your picture. You brought
Speaker 1: it all the way back around. And what shocking is
Speaker 1: oh I thought you.
Speaker 2: Said started the third quarter or no, okay, sorry guys,
Speaker 2: that wasn't the end of the pod.
Speaker 1: There's baby boxes teacher on the jumbo troll.
Speaker 2: Here we go.
Speaker 1: He's like, Dad, she's here. Can we go look for.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not looking for your teacher.
Speaker 1: What do you mean Williams. You mean out of these
Speaker 1: this whole arena. You want me to walk around and
Speaker 1: look for your teacher, and then, yes, what happens when
Speaker 1: we find your teacher. We have the world's most awkward
Speaker 1: conversation because I know once we find your teacher, you're
Speaker 1: just gonna be like clam clam. So halftime boy. So
Speaker 1: he's like, Dad, we gotta we gotta do that. We
Speaker 1: gotta put our picture up there. All right, I'll bite,
Speaker 1: I'll bite, I'll fall for it. I won't take a selfie.
Speaker 1: So everybody gathers in boom selfie. All right, cool, and
Speaker 1: I send it that way and he's like, it's halftime.
Speaker 1: So let's go to the bathroom and on our way down,
Speaker 1: guess what second level he walks in and looks at
Speaker 1: all the sections. All right, Dad, I don't see her
Speaker 1: in here. We get down the first floor. He goes in,
Speaker 1: looks at all the sections, Dad, I don't see her.
Speaker 1: Walk by the concessions. He's like, Dad, I don't see
Speaker 1: my teacher.
Speaker 2: You'll see her Monday.
Speaker 1: I was like, He's like, where do you think she is?
Speaker 1: Was like, I don't know, Bud, I don't know. So
Speaker 1: we go in and go to the bathroom. He's like,
Speaker 1: should we walk around and look for I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: we shouldn't. We should go back to our seat because
Speaker 1: the second half is going to start.
Speaker 2: Finally you're being a parent.
Speaker 1: But he's like, before we go, Dad walks in the
Speaker 1: first level, looks again, doesn't find her. We get to
Speaker 1: the second level. He walks in there, looks around. I
Speaker 1: don't see her. Dad go up to the third level.
Speaker 1: He's looking around. He goes, I don't think she's sitting
Speaker 1: up here with us.
Speaker 2: Dad.
Speaker 1: So we sit back down and it's the start of
Speaker 1: the second half, and I'll tell you all about it.
Speaker 1: Right after this second half, more of the same, Vandy
Speaker 1: getting smoked, Vandy getting crushed. And then they had a
Speaker 1: promotion that was the most ridiculous promotion I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: Give us your kid, no, usually if you put it
Speaker 1: the length of the court and you make it in
Speaker 1: that little hole, yeah, you get like free scholarship for
Speaker 1: a year, a free car.
Speaker 2: Agreed.
Speaker 1: And they pull it out and they're like, if you
Speaker 1: get it in that little hole, youet Justin's old job.
Speaker 1: You get a five hundred dollars certificate to where and
Speaker 1: I'm like, this dude is gonna put the ball the
Speaker 1: length of the court and put it a little hole,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna give him five hundred dollars.
Speaker 2: Please tell me it's for the restaurant you guys went
Speaker 2: to to get Sea her Chin.
Speaker 1: No Ray, that wud have been a hell of a
Speaker 1: story if they would have told me for five hundred dollars,
Speaker 1: I gotta hit it, though, I would have swung it
Speaker 1: like a driver.
Speaker 2: I mean maybe if it's like Larry Flynn's Stripper Club.
Speaker 1: Anyway, I just found that ridiculous. But anyway, more, the
Speaker 1: second half just absolutely a butt kicking. And every time
Speaker 1: out they're showing pictures on the jumbo tron and they
Speaker 1: ain't showing ours, and my kids feelings are starting to
Speaker 1: get hurt. And as we I forgot when we were
Speaker 1: walking in guess who we saw bones mister C, the
Speaker 1: scam artist. Yeah, and he was walking down the hall
Speaker 1: and the kids were like, Dad, that's mister C. I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: you owe me a couple dollars.
Speaker 2: Mister C.
Speaker 1: That's when I shoved him against the wall. Said, hey,
Speaker 1: you said there was me free tickets, Now give me
Speaker 1: your pocket book. But I was like, yeah, that's mister C.
Speaker 1: The one that problems was free tickets for mister C
Speaker 1: reading challenge. There was nothing free. What was he wearing?
Speaker 1: Snake oil and a briefcase? Yeah he was. He looked
Speaker 1: very shady. Let me tell you you got my money there.
Speaker 1: See he was writing checks. That is at mouth good gash.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that. Man. Was it one of those
Speaker 1: crypto kids? Man? So anyway, it is a blowout. The
Speaker 1: kids look like they're about to fall asleep on the benches.
Speaker 2: And I was gonna say, you don't need to tell
Speaker 2: us the score. Somebody can look up the score. Guys.
Speaker 2: The game happened like a week ago.
Speaker 1: We're now by like eighteen with like eight minutes to go,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, hey, you guys want to leave? Well
Speaker 1: cut to the chase.
Speaker 2: Did they win?
Speaker 1: I was like, you guys ready to go? Like, why
Speaker 1: don't we go?
Speaker 2: Because Andy win?
Speaker 1: Because we had a birthday party. We were going that night,
Speaker 1: the wife and I at five thirty and I'm like,
Speaker 1: this game is a blowout, let's go ahead and go.
Speaker 1: You guys look dead. There's you're not even interested in
Speaker 1: the game. Work no, dad, Dad, I earned these tickets
Speaker 1: I think we should stay t the end.
Speaker 2: Did they win?
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm trying. I was like, you know, I have
Speaker 1: a friend named Ray. He has a theory ALI always
Speaker 1: leave early so we can beat the traffic. Your kids
Speaker 1: knew about it, and they're like, no, dabt, I want
Speaker 1: to stay. And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is
Speaker 1: so boring. It is so miserable. Five minutes left, they're
Speaker 1: down fifteen points and the nicking a. The kids are
Speaker 1: falling asleep, and I'm like, guys, let's just go. Let's
Speaker 1: just go. No, I don't well, okay, I don't want tears.
Speaker 1: I don't want tears.
Speaker 2: Please tell me Vandy made a run.
Speaker 1: I don't want tears. Wife takes one of the kids
Speaker 1: to the bathroom. Middle kid to the bathroom. She goes,
Speaker 1: She texted me, She goes, should we just leave? Everybody's leaving?
Speaker 1: Why don't we just leave? Tell the boys we're leaving.
Speaker 1: It's like four minutes, thirty seconds to go, down thirteen
Speaker 1: fourteen points. I say, hey, boys, we're gonna leave. Mom's
Speaker 1: ready to go. Dad, the game's not over yet. We
Speaker 1: don't we can't leave yet, I text, I said, even
Speaker 1: though they're about to fall asleep. They look very uninterested.
Speaker 1: They're refusing to budge from their seats. Tell him to
Speaker 1: sound the buzzer and I'll come back up, and I
Speaker 1: mean it clears out, and don't worry. They're still not
Speaker 1: showing our picture on the jumboch on that I submitted
Speaker 1: to this little QR code, and that is making my
Speaker 1: kids upset.
Speaker 2: They need to do it for the parents where they
Speaker 2: put zeros on the scoreboard just for a minute so
Speaker 2: parents can usher their kids out.
Speaker 1: And with two minutes left, there may be fifty five
Speaker 1: people in that arena, and Vandy drains a three. Then
Speaker 1: they get a steal and they drain a three, and
Speaker 1: now we're down to a minute twenty seconds led, and
Speaker 1: we're down by eleven, and we start fouling. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what the hell are we doing? We are just delaying
Speaker 1: this game. Can we please? It is now four forty eight.
Speaker 1: We're supposed to pick up the babysitter at five point fifteen.
Speaker 1: We're supposed to be at the birthday party at five
Speaker 1: point thirty. We're supposed to make an app. Everybody's supposed
Speaker 1: to bring an app for the birthday party. That's the
Speaker 1: it's gonna be like a pot luck app dinner. Bring
Speaker 1: sea or chin, It'll change your life. Approach this, hey, Sarah,
Speaker 1: trying to approach this, and Oklahoma goes down, makes one
Speaker 1: of two free throws. Here comes Vandy. They drain a three,
Speaker 1: down eight, Oh freak yeah, and I'm like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: now the boys are up. Now the boys are up.
Speaker 1: Oh look our pictures on the jumbbotron. Oh our picture
Speaker 1: still not on the JumboTron. Man, still not on the
Speaker 1: jumbo tron. But I'm telling you, they start screaming and
Speaker 1: when they're shooting free throws, miss it. Oklahoma miss is
Speaker 1: two free throws.
Speaker 2: I thought I heard them on Sports Center.
Speaker 1: Bandy hits a three. We're down five with thirty eight
Speaker 1: seconds to go, Are you freaking kidding me? Go doors,
Speaker 1: and we foul. They make one of two, so we're
Speaker 1: down six. Come down, make a three and a foul.
Speaker 1: It's gotta be that little kid. He is lights out.
Speaker 1: We made a three and we're fouled. We go to
Speaker 1: the line, make it four point play. We're down two
Speaker 1: with how much left? Twenty seven seconds? Yeah, let's go,
Speaker 1: and then it gets crazy like we foul. They make
Speaker 1: a free throw. We come down, we miss, and it
Speaker 1: goes out of bounds. So they're trying to inbound the
Speaker 1: ball and they just throw it straight out of bounds.
Speaker 1: They don't. They never get it, like no one. And
Speaker 1: then we turn it over on the inbounds and then
Speaker 1: we get it to within two. Then it's within three,
Speaker 1: and then we come down with a chance to tie
Speaker 1: the game down three. We miss, they get it, we
Speaker 1: found them. They make both free throws. We make it three.
Speaker 1: At the end, we lose by one. Ah, we lose
Speaker 1: by one. Freaking kidd me, no but me harassing my kid,
Speaker 1: saying we should leave early. And it turns out the
Speaker 1: game actually got pretty good. He was screaming his head off,
Speaker 1: he was going crazy. He was red in the face,
Speaker 1: and I felt bad telling them we should leave early.
Speaker 1: They're saying, let's go babie later. Look at them, dude,
Speaker 1: he's red in the face. There's no one there. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: good call. Oh man. And we lost by one, all right, man,
Speaker 1: hell of a story. I think we all lost by
Speaker 1: one there. Yeah, we lost two hundred and fifty six dollars.
Speaker 2: We've approached the end and it was time to go.
Speaker 1: Home, man, Time to go home. Thanks a lot, mister
Speaker 1: Cees reading challenge. There was nothing free about the day.
Speaker 1: There was absolutely nothing free about it. Well he's heading
Speaker 1: off to another campus. Well, we did get free orange
Speaker 1: or gold palm palms that the kids shook.
Speaker 2: Those were for the girls.
Speaker 1: And then they wore they acted like there was their hair,
Speaker 1: and then they were doing it like it was my hair,
Speaker 1: and then it was my wife's hair.
Speaker 2: And then don't do that to your dad.
Speaker 1: They were covering their face with it and saying, dad, Dad,
Speaker 1: where'd I go? Did you lose me? And then they went, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm still here. So we did that a lot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then we went to the and then we brought
Speaker 1: the pomp poms home with us. The next day we
Speaker 1: had to go to the grocery store and they ended
Speaker 1: up pushing little kids carts around, so they had brought
Speaker 1: the pomp poms in the store with them. Then I
Speaker 1: had to carry them. So I did it like I
Speaker 1: was directing planes through the airport, and we were doing
Speaker 1: that through the grocery store. This way, this way, this way.
Speaker 1: Just follow the pump poms. You got to bring those
Speaker 1: of the big show.
Speaker 2: That'd be funny. Direct people in the studio.
Speaker 1: Hey, hey this way, Amy, Amy, come here, feeling things.
Speaker 1: Come here, feeling yourself, feeling yourself. Take it personally, Take
Speaker 1: it personally.
Speaker 2: Construction workers, you help them out with traffic.
Speaker 1: Oh man? Yeah, what a weekend. Man. I didn't even
Speaker 1: get to tell you about the birthday party. I'll tell
Speaker 1: you about that on Friday, maybe if you can carry.
Speaker 2: I'm as tired as your kids right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, let's go home. Man.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna leave a minute early.
Speaker 1: Hopefully that was all right. Change your life, didn't it