WEBVTT - How Men Think with Jonathan Bennett 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:03.960 We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This 0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:08.320 is How Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Hey 0:00:08.360 --> 0:00:11.719 what's up everybody. I'm Jonathan Bennett, and you may know 0:00:11.840 --> 0:00:16.000 me as Aaron Samuels from the movie Mean Girls, and yes, 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:19.480 my hair does look sexy pushed back In case you're wondering, 0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:22.880 I'm also an actor, a TV host, and I am 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:26.880 so happy to be guest hosting How Men Think. Now 0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:29.400 I'm going to answer all of your questions and solve 0:00:29.520 --> 0:00:34.960 the fascinating question of how men think. I think? But first, 0:00:35.560 --> 0:00:39.120 this is eleven questions with Jonathan Bennett. Now I have 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:42.800 not looked at these until right now, so this will 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:46.040 all be on the fly. Wish me look, here we go. 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:51.120 Eleven questions with Jonathan. Number one, what are you known for? 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:55.360 Tell us about yourself? Okay, well, I guess most people 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:58.960 know me as Aaron Samuel's from Mean Girls, and I 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:02.400 think what happened as I just I kissed a redheaded, 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:06.640 freckle faced girl named Lindsay Lohan in a movie three 0:01:06.720 --> 0:01:11.840 thousand years ago. And now I can't go to a 0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:16.280 Starbucks without the barista writing, your hair look sexy pushed 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:18.800 back on my cup or like I'll go and say hey, 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:21.280 They'll they'll ask me for the name and say what's 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:23.520 your name please, and I'll say Jonathan and then they'll 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:25.840 just go ahead and write Aaron Samuel's on the cup, 0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:30.319 which is an amazing thing but also crazy. So it's 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:32.400 a very weird life to be Jonathan Bennett. I'm not 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:36.240 gonna lie. October three is a very weird day for me. 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:39.440 So if you ever having an awkward day in your life, 0:01:39.880 --> 0:01:42.640 just think what does Jonathan Bennett feel like on on 0:01:43.200 --> 0:01:45.840 October three? I bet you it's not as weird as 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:50.280 his day number two. Who are you in your personal life? Well, 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:54.600 contrary to popular belief, I know you might think that 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:56.760 I was in love with Lindsay Lohan, but I I 0:01:56.880 --> 0:01:59.200 actually I am in love with James Vaughan, my fiance. 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:04.360 Uh plot twist, Aaron Samuel's gay Huh wow? Um so 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:07.280 that was a big plot twist for pop culture. Um, 0:02:07.280 --> 0:02:11.480 but actually was it wasn't? Really? Um. So I'm engaged 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:14.360 to my fiance James Vaughan. We've been engaged for just 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:16.800 over a year now, and we have our wedding coming 0:02:16.880 --> 0:02:20.240 up this spring, which we're really excited about. We're getting 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:23.959 married to Mexico at Unicode Resort, which is this amazing 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:27.239 resort in Mexico that's very inclusive for the l g 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:29.959 B t Q plus community there. It's just got such 0:02:29.960 --> 0:02:33.960 a great diverse group of people working there and you know, 0:02:34.080 --> 0:02:37.079 people coming there. It's just a fantastic place. So we're 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:40.680 very excited about that. And yeah, my fiance and I 0:02:40.960 --> 0:02:44.320 are totally in love and having such a blast being 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:47.640 fiance's and just going on this whole wedding journey, trying 0:02:47.639 --> 0:02:50.919 to figure out who's coming, what's happening at the wedding, 0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:53.239 all the things that happen when you're planning a wedding. 0:02:53.280 --> 0:02:56.320 It's super fun, but also it's a little bit stressful. 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:59.000 I'm not gonna lie um, but at the end of 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:02.440 the day, is long as we're standing there saying our vows, 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:07.320 I don't care if it you know, if everything falls 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:09.200 over and it starts raining, it's still gonna be fine 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:10.760 because we're gonna be there with all of our friends 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:13.720 and family and having a blast. So that's what's important. 0:03:13.760 --> 0:03:16.840 Which is also crazy because our families have never met, 0:03:17.080 --> 0:03:19.360 so this is the first time our families are coming together. 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:23.399 Is at our wedding, so this should be interesting. Three 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:26.720 shows that you are binge watching right now? Okay, guys, 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:28.560 I'm not gonna lie like I want to have an 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:31.960 answer that's more diverse than this, but I can't. The 0:03:31.960 --> 0:03:34.519 three shows that I'm watching right now are RuPaul's Drag 0:03:34.600 --> 0:03:40.960 Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race American, and RuPaul's Drag Race. 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:43.840 Queen of the Universe. Well, it's not really Rupaol's Drag Race, 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:45.760 but it's Queen of the Universe, which is the drag 0:03:45.840 --> 0:03:50.440 queen singing competition show. I am the biggest RuPaul's fan. 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:54.280 It's all I watched because here's the thing. The day 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:59.160 that someone makes better television than a group of drag 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:02.119 queens try trying to out drag queen each other, I'll 0:04:02.160 --> 0:04:06.920 watch it until then. There's nothing that beats RuPaul's Drag Race. 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:10.400 Queen of the Universe is the New Wild Presents show. 0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:15.080 That's pretty close. It's basically RuPaul's Drag Race meets American Idol, 0:04:15.320 --> 0:04:18.800 so you have drag queens singing trying to be the 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:22.960 best singer. So both are fantastic shows. But I always 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:26.320 think about the pitch that happened for RuPaul's Drag Race. 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:31.000 Like picture RuPaul walking into logo to pitch the idea 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:34.279 for the show and she just walks in or sorry, 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:39.880 he just walks in and says, Okay, it's America's next 0:04:39.880 --> 0:04:44.440 Top Model but drag queens, and then the person of 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:47.880 the network just writes the check. Yep, genius. It's just 0:04:48.000 --> 0:04:50.200 so much fun. It's such a fun show to watch. 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:53.599 It's so exciting. There's so much color and creativity, and 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:55.440 every time I wants to show it just inspires me 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:58.839 to go out and create something crazy and unique and different, 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:03.280 and also to celebrate my uniqueness. Remember there's only one 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:08.159 new number four. What is your favorite food? Okay, I 0:05:08.200 --> 0:05:13.320 eat like a toddler. So my favorite foods are white rice, 0:05:14.120 --> 0:05:19.080 just plain old white rice. I love waffles and apples. 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:24.080 Those are my three favorite foods. Literally what you feed 0:05:24.080 --> 0:05:26.919 either your dog when it has a stomach virus or 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:31.039 your toddler. But hey, what, I have a simple palette. 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:35.520 I also really like the Chinese chicken salad from Applebee's, 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:39.719 which is a fantastic restaurant. I am why they created Applebee's. 0:05:40.360 --> 0:05:43.479 I'm from Ohio. That's just what we eat. Tell us 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:46.799 about your career number five. Um, okay, So my career 0:05:47.000 --> 0:05:51.880 is very strange. The first movie I ever did was 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:54.680 Mean Girls. So then what do you do after you 0:05:54.720 --> 0:05:58.760 do Mean Girls. It's a very bizarre life. It's a 0:05:58.800 --> 0:06:03.120 weird thing to be part of the biggest, arguably one 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:05.839 of the biggest movies in pop culture history. To have 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:09.880 that as your first movie. It really I call it 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:13.240 the Zach Morris syndrome. You become Zack Morris. Right, you're 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:15.640 Aaron Samuels. You're not Johnathan men At the actor, You're 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:18.960 just Aaron Samuels. So it's a really fun interesting thing 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:21.000 to try to then figure out what your career looks 0:06:21.000 --> 0:06:22.960 like after that movie. So I got to do a 0:06:22.960 --> 0:06:26.640 lot of really fun movies. I did Van Wilder Freshman Year, 0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:30.640 I basically when I did Uh, Cheaper by the Dozen 0:06:30.720 --> 0:06:34.520 two with Steve Martin. I did Dukes of Hazard the Beginning, 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:38.120 and so those were the movies I did immediately after 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:40.000 Me and Girls. And it was funny because I always 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:44.240 joke whenever they couldn't afford like Ashton Kutcher, Ryan Reynolds 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:47.760 or Sean William Scott, They're like, get Bennett in here, 0:06:48.000 --> 0:06:50.480 He'll do it. And he's a little bit cheaper, still 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:53.720 handsome and kind of funny. So that's I'm like the 0:06:54.080 --> 0:06:56.120 bargain bin version of them, for the for the for 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:59.000 the sequels, for those movies. That's what I always joke about. 0:06:59.080 --> 0:07:01.880 But after at I've done a ton of stuff. I 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:06.800 released Ah, I released a unauthorized, unofficial parody cookbook for 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:11.440 Mean Girls fans called the Burn Cookbook. Because I started 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:14.680 hosting cake wars on Food Network. I hosted Cake Wars, 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:19.760 Cupcake Wars, Christmas Wars, Chris Holiday Wars, Halloween Wars, Cupcake Boards, 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:22.680 Kids Celebrity Cupcake Wars. If there was a wars on 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:25.320 the Food Network, I would host the crap out of it. 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:29.400 And doing all that, I met all these amazing chefs 0:07:29.440 --> 0:07:32.000 and started really working in the food space. So on 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:35.480 top of acting and shooting all the shows I was shooting, 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:38.880 I would actually go and work on a book at nighttime, 0:07:38.920 --> 0:07:43.000 which was The Burn Cookbook. It's basically cookbook for Mean 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:47.160 Girls fans. If you have a taste for recipes like 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:51.560 it's not regular guawk, it's cool glack or fetch a 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:55.679 Chenie Alfredo. We even have Gretchen's wieners in the book. 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:58.320 So we have all these amazing recipes for you to 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:01.440 make that are super simple, and then there's all these 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:06.280 amazing behind the scenes facts and stories of filming the movie. 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:09.400 It's just the perfect book for you and your girlfriends 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:13.200 to get together. Get the book off Amazon, make some 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:16.400 of the recipes. They're super simple and really delicious, and 0:08:16.600 --> 0:08:18.680 watch the movie and just have like a really fun 0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:21.880 girl's night in. There's the perfect gift for the holidays. 0:08:21.920 --> 0:08:25.560 It's the perfect bachelor party, get bachelorette party, get anything 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:27.480 like that. It's just a really fun book to bring 0:08:27.520 --> 0:08:30.200 people together because the whole movie is about not sitting 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:32.719 with each other. You can't sit with us, and this 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:35.480 book is about bringing people together. You can sit with us, 0:08:35.480 --> 0:08:37.800 so you can sit around, have some fun and relive 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:39.480 some of your favorite parts of the movie. It's it's 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:42.400 a blast um. And then after that, I started doing 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:45.240 a lot of movies with Hallmark Channel, and I'm so 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:48.559 proud because last year we launched the first l G 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:52.040 B t Q plus Hallmark Channel Christmas movie. It was 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:55.160 the first time there was a gay kiss in Hallmark movie. 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:58.640 And I got the honor of doing that and representing 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:00.440 and it was such a beautiful thing because so many 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:04.800 people that year felt more seen, and I feel like 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:07.680 the younger Jonathan's, the younger versions of me around the world, 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:11.320 felt a little less scared that Christmas. And this Christmas, 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:14.960 December eighteenth, we have the sequel to The Christmas House. 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:17.880 It's The Christmas House to coming out this December eighteenth 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:20.719 on Homework Channel, where we actually take that storyline a 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:25.200 little bit deeper and expand the character I play, Brandon. 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:28.680 Him and his husband Jake. Their family has expanded and 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:31.760 has gotten bigger, and so we catch up with them, 0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:33.800 and it's the movie has twice the heart and twice 0:09:33.800 --> 0:09:35.920 the humor as the first one. And I'm really proud 0:09:36.200 --> 0:09:39.800 to really, you know, do something that made a difference. 0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:41.880 And the coolest part of all this, get this, wait, 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:47.040 get this ready, The Smithsonian has my jacket from the 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:50.640 movie in it now. Because the Smithsonian saw the movie, 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:53.000 thought it was such a groundbreaking thing to have the 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:57.200 first ever gay storyline and gay kiss on a on 0:09:57.240 --> 0:10:00.520 a Christmas movie, and the fact that it was at 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:04.000 Hallmark Channel, which is, you know, the benchmark for holiday movies, 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:06.440 they thought it was worthy to be in the Smithsonian. 0:10:06.559 --> 0:10:11.080 So my script and my jacket and and Brad's jacket 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:13.520 that plays my husband are all now locked away in 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:17.480 the Smithsonian Archives as part of pop culture history. How 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:20.960 cool is that? Really cool to make make those amazing 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:24.160 movements for the l g B t Q plus community. 0:10:24.400 --> 0:10:26.920 What is number six? What is your biggest fear in life? 0:10:27.600 --> 0:10:31.520 What's my biggest fear? Uh? I think my biggest fear 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:34.880 is failure. Isn't that what everyone's afraid of? Or is 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:36.720 it just because I'm an only child and an actor. 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:40.640 I think my biggest fear is failure because I set 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:44.560 my goals so high and I dreamed so big that, um, 0:10:44.840 --> 0:10:47.360 the thing I fear fear most is is failing. But 0:10:48.000 --> 0:10:52.679 what I'm learning to do is accept the fact that 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:55.520 failure is just part of life, Like you're gonna fail, 0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:58.440 and the fact that you fail means you're trying. And 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:02.160 that's what's important, because the other alternative to not failing 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:05.600 is to do nothing, which is worse than failing. What's 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:08.599 your biggest pet? Peeve? Chewing cereal. You're not allowed to 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:11.240 eat cereal around me ever, because I will take the bowl, 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:13.240 I will pick it up, and I will throw it 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:18.640 through the window. I have misophonia, which is a condition 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:22.439 where the sound of certain things drive me absolutely crazy, 0:11:22.480 --> 0:11:24.760 and the sound of someone chewing cereal in a quiet 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:28.920 room will make my blood boil. Number eight what makes 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:32.199 you most happy? Waking up with my fiance and my 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:35.880 golden doodle and having like an hour to just lay 0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:38.920 in the bed and cuddle and give the dog kisses 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:41.199 and give my fiance kisses. I mean, my fiance has 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:45.600 gold hair, curly hair, and blue eyes. My dog has gold, 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:48.280 curly hair and blue eyes. I basically just kiss both 0:11:48.480 --> 0:11:51.960 of the curly headed, blonde things in my life in 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:54.400 the morning. That but that's what makes me most happy. 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:59.320 What's your ideal Saturday morning? Again? Waking up with my 0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:02.000 fiance and my dog and just sitting outside in palm 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:05.920 springs at our house and just relaxing. We have the 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:08.880 best pool in the best yard, and just being home 0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:12.200 and being able to be together is just the best 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:14.560 Saturday morning to me. And a lot of coffee because 0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:16.319 they drink a lot of coffee. I drink a lot 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:18.199 of ice coffe. Fam Gay where we have to. It's 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:20.800 part of the part of the deal. Number ten. Are 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:24.760 you more of an athlete or an armchair quarterback. I 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:27.439 don't even know what that means. Number eleven. What keeps 0:12:27.440 --> 0:12:30.320 you motivated? Um? I think the things that keep me 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:34.839 motivated are the are the messages that I get from 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:39.600 from fans and from people on my Instagram that message 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:43.360 me saying, Hey, you know, I was afraid to come out, 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:46.240 or I was afraid to be who I was, or 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:48.760 I'm struggling with this. But the fact that you and 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:51.840 James lived your life so boldly and loudly and openly 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:55.760 and show us what love looks like on Instagram and 0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:57.960 on your social media's were able to like kind of 0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:02.320 peer into your life. That makes that motivates us and 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:05.760 helps give us strength to be who we are. So 0:13:05.960 --> 0:13:07.640 I think the fact that we live our lives so 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:12.800 loudly and probably really helps motivate me to keep going 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:14.679 because of the response we get when we do it. 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:19.559 All Right, And that was eleven questions with Jonathan Bennett. Okay, 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:21.280 so we're gonna take a quick break and then we're 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:24.280 gonna come back with some of the color questions. Don't 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:35.520 go away. So we have Jessica on the like jess 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:41.400 Jessica Volkenburg Dankenburg. Man, Oh wow, that sounds like a 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:44.840 character of like the bad Guy that's like trying to 0:13:44.920 --> 0:13:48.840 take over the company, and like a Hallmark movie, it 0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:51.560 does have a little evil ring to it. But I promised, 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:55.040 I'm very nice. I can tell your face is adorable. 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:59.600 Thank you. What's going on? Talk to me? Not a 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:02.920 lot is going on. I'm so excited to be here 0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:05.640 with you guys. And UM, I have a few questions 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:08.240 that I'm hoping that you can answer for me. Okay, 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:11.600 We're gonna try. I mean, okay, take my advice lightly, 0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:17.160 but we'll try. Let's go. Okay, So I recently got 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:22.800 out of a four year relationship, um, and I'm starting 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:25.280 to like dip my toe back into the dating pool 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:28.800 and I'm trying out some dating asks. But some of 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:31.720 the guys that are meeting are different online than they 0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:35.480 are in person. So what is your best advice for 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:38.000 online dating? And why do you think that some men 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:43.440 do this? Okay, such a great question, Jessica. First of all, 0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:46.680 I'm happy that you're back into the dating pool again 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:48.520 and you're starting to dip your toe in. That's great. 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:51.280 I'm sorry your four year relationship didn't work out, but 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:53.800 as my dad would say, he always give me the 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:58.240 best advice, he would say, John, sometimes relationships just don't work, 0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:01.360 and that's okay. And so we're very excited that you're 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:03.880 getting back into the dating pool. Now. As far as 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:09.200 men being different online than in person, such a true thing, right, 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:14.520 because we're online, we have the power of protection. You know, 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:18.000 we're we're not actually making a connection, we're just typing 0:15:18.000 --> 0:15:20.360 in our phone. And this is me being I'm fourty 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:22.920 years old and I'm very old, not very old, but 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:25.080 I'm much older than you, Jessica. So let me tell 0:15:25.120 --> 0:15:30.400 you the difference is having that like protection of being 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:35.720 behind a screen is such a good and bad thing, right, 0:15:35.760 --> 0:15:39.360 because they don't have to actually connect with the human 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:41.840 when they're talking to them. So what you're seeing is 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:45.280 you're seeing a space that you're talking in, a space 0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:48.240 that's safe when you're talking online on the dating app, 0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:51.720 and then when you're talking in person, you're talking in 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:56.040 a space that's vulnerable. And so one is safe, one 0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:58.400 is vulnerable. And so the reason you're seeing a difference 0:15:58.720 --> 0:16:03.320 is that vulnerability is showing when they're in person. And 0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:07.960 when we're vulnerable, we become different people and we we 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:11.520 tend to do things that that we normally wouldn't do 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:14.320 or or we don't have the strength to say the 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:18.480 things that we can behind a screen. So totally understandable 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:23.160 and such an important thing to point out. The advice 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:27.880 I have for that is, if you're into someone and 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:30.840 you're starting to have a good rapport, get to the 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:34.600 in person meeting quicker, right because so many times we 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:37.520 have these weeks and months people go like, you know, 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:41.160 I've been talking to this guy for four weeks on 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:43.040 on one of the apps, and we're going to find 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:46.160 the meet in person. Well, you've created a fake relationship 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:50.600 that doesn't exist because you created a relationship that has 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:54.160 no vulnerability to it. Dating is hard, Dating is vulnerable. 0:16:54.240 --> 0:16:56.840 Dating is scary. There's a lot you know, you're opening 0:16:56.920 --> 0:16:58.920 up yourself as this person gonna like me, So it's 0:16:58.960 --> 0:17:01.280 a very vulnerable state to be in. And I think 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:04.359 it's actually better to get into that vulnerable state quicker, 0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:07.040 so that way you can see if there's a real connection. 0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:10.760 Because the online dating, when you're talking just behind screens 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:13.880 and like using your phone, that's not a real connection. 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:18.680 That's a false identity and a false Uh. We're creating 0:17:18.720 --> 0:17:21.320 what we wanted to be versus what it is, so 0:17:21.440 --> 0:17:26.359 get into the meat of it quicker. Does that make sense? Yes, definitely. 0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:28.919 I think it's easy to try and hide behind the 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:32.400 screens sometimes, but by getting in person, I can definitely 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:36.120 see that being helpful. And hopefully with your advice, I'll 0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:39.120 be able to find my own Aaron Samuels one day. 0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:42.959 And I hope his hair looks sexy pushed back, I 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:49.040 hope it looks fantastic. Thank you so much, too, By 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:53.120 And now we have Tara on the line. Hi, Tara, Hi, 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:57.120 how are you? I'm wonderful. What's going on? Not much, 0:17:57.280 --> 0:18:01.359 just another day getting through the day, is honey. It's one. 0:18:01.359 --> 0:18:06.200 We're just trying to get through the days. So what's 0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:07.520 going on? Do you have any questions? What can I 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:12.520 help you with? Um? I mean I I have been 0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:16.440 single for I actually never been in a serious relationship, 0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:20.160 and I feel like I'm just being way too picky. 0:18:21.520 --> 0:18:23.639 But I don't know if it's like me being picky 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:28.480 or am I just waiting for the right one? Mm hmm, Okay, 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:36.040 such an interesting and complex question. UM, I'd say, yes 0:18:36.040 --> 0:18:38.320 you're being picky, and yes you're waiting for the right one, 0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:41.320 and yes you're being too picky all at the same time. 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:43.240 I know that sounds confusing, but let me walk you 0:18:43.280 --> 0:18:45.880 through it. So for the relationship that I'm in with 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:49.800 my fiance it took me going through a lot, meeting 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:53.280 a lot of different people and thinking I maybe had 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:56.560 found Mr. Wright but actually realized I hadn't, and it 0:18:56.640 --> 0:19:02.919 had me falsely um accepting and wanting these relationships that 0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:06.119 I'm really grateful for because I learned so much about 0:19:06.160 --> 0:19:09.119 myself and about what I wanted a relationship and about 0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:13.880 who I was, and that helped me. When I ended 0:19:13.920 --> 0:19:17.520 up meeting my fiancee and it all just clicked. I 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:20.480 was like, Oh, this is what this is the one. 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:23.960 But I wouldn't have anything to compare that too if 0:19:23.960 --> 0:19:26.760 I hadn't been in any other relationship. And all my 0:19:26.800 --> 0:19:32.040 other relationships were so beneficial and I care about them 0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:35.640 so much and I have nothing but respect and love 0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:38.560 for them because of what I was able to learn 0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:42.919 about myself and about life from them. There's always like 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:45.400 no relationship. I may don't want to say no relationship, 0:19:45.640 --> 0:19:49.120 but more nine times out of ten, most relationships that 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:54.080 end aren't completely awful unless they're obviously an abusive relationship 0:19:54.080 --> 0:19:56.840 where something that's actually really traumatic. You end up you're 0:19:56.840 --> 0:19:58.719 gonna walk away, you're gonna dust yourself off, and you're 0:19:58.760 --> 0:20:02.800 gonna learn something from it. And So the thing that 0:20:02.840 --> 0:20:06.160 I'm worried about with you, with being so picky, is 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:09.800 you definitely I'm not saying go and date a whole 0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:13.680 bunch of people, but you definitely want to have something 0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:17.800 to compare your benchmark of the guy of your dreams too. 0:20:17.880 --> 0:20:21.000 So if you are too picky, maybe when you meet 0:20:21.000 --> 0:20:23.199 a guy that you don't that you might think is 0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:26.520 the guy of your dreams, he might not be because 0:20:27.359 --> 0:20:29.399 you just are going for this one because this is 0:20:29.400 --> 0:20:31.520 who this is who you think. But then once you 0:20:31.520 --> 0:20:35.119 get in the relationship, you have nothing to compare it to. Yeah, 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:37.679 does that Does that make sense? Like we want to 0:20:37.680 --> 0:20:40.760 be careful and I'm not saying I'm not saying go 0:20:40.800 --> 0:20:43.600 out and like get into serious relationships with people, but 0:20:43.640 --> 0:20:45.600 it's okay to go on a couple of dates with 0:20:45.680 --> 0:20:48.520 people here and there and like find what works for you. 0:20:48.560 --> 0:20:52.359 It's you know, the rules are different, Like this isn't 0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:55.680 this isn't white picket fences anymore. Right, this isn't this 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:59.360 is It's a very complex world. To navigate, and there's 0:20:59.400 --> 0:21:02.000 so many things to navigate out there that I think, bye, 0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:05.520 by going on dates with people and actually getting to 0:21:05.600 --> 0:21:07.680 know people and kind of seeing how you feel being 0:21:07.760 --> 0:21:10.679 vulnerable around people will help you learn about yourself. So 0:21:10.720 --> 0:21:13.240 that way, when Mr Wright does come, you'll say, oh, 0:21:13.320 --> 0:21:16.560 here he is. This is absolutely the one. Yeah. And 0:21:16.600 --> 0:21:19.159 I actually, because of COVID, I think it's been so 0:21:19.200 --> 0:21:22.240 weird and I haven't really tried to meet anyone, but 0:21:22.320 --> 0:21:25.800 I just recently got back on like Bumble and Hinge, 0:21:25.880 --> 0:21:28.239 and I'm like trying to put myself out there, but 0:21:28.320 --> 0:21:30.840 it's still really weird in COVID. It's like a weird time. 0:21:31.160 --> 0:21:33.920 I'm more I'm someone who likes to meet people in person. 0:21:34.840 --> 0:21:38.520 That's like where I shine the most. Yeah, and I'm 0:21:38.560 --> 0:21:40.040 also the person who likes to pick up the phone 0:21:40.040 --> 0:21:43.320 and call someone, so one text is also always so 0:21:43.359 --> 0:21:47.840 weird for me. But I'm trying, yeah, look, and it's 0:21:47.880 --> 0:21:52.640 okay that it's weird, Like it's okay two that these 0:21:52.680 --> 0:21:55.159 weird things are happening with COVID. I mean, it's not 0:21:55.200 --> 0:21:57.720 okay that COVID is happening, but it's okay that you 0:21:57.760 --> 0:21:59.840 feel awkward trying to date during this weird time because 0:21:59.840 --> 0:22:03.520 it's not a normal time. So uh, ex you know, 0:22:04.440 --> 0:22:07.800 except you know, I was on a show called Celebrity 0:22:07.800 --> 0:22:11.640 Big Brother, and they always would say expect the unexpected. 0:22:12.080 --> 0:22:15.200 While with COVID and with dating in the way the 0:22:15.240 --> 0:22:20.560 world works now, I would say accept the unexpected, like 0:22:20.720 --> 0:22:24.280 except that all this is weird, and like just throw 0:22:24.320 --> 0:22:26.520 it out there in the conversation, like you can bring 0:22:26.600 --> 0:22:28.960 up you know, if if two people identify that something 0:22:29.080 --> 0:22:31.639 is weird, it's no longer weird. So like if you 0:22:31.760 --> 0:22:34.320 just call it out to the to the person, this 0:22:34.359 --> 0:22:36.399 is so freaking weird, and we're trying to put this 0:22:36.520 --> 0:22:39.680 do all this and dang, like I wish I wasn't 0:22:39.720 --> 0:22:41.400 texting you. I wish you could meet in person. How 0:22:41.400 --> 0:22:43.680 do we do that that COVID this is all weird 0:22:43.720 --> 0:22:46.680 to us. I hate it, Like bring that up when 0:22:46.680 --> 0:22:50.400 you're talking to someone, because then you both are Once 0:22:50.440 --> 0:22:54.119 you both identify it, it's no longer weird. Yeah. I 0:22:54.160 --> 0:22:57.440 never thought of it that way, but I'll definitely try that. Like, 0:22:57.640 --> 0:23:01.119 this sucks. What do we do instead of trying to 0:23:01.160 --> 0:23:04.400