Speaker 1: Who baby, my baby, belof I need you, Oh how
Speaker 1: I need you? What do you expect? As a production
Speaker 1: of I Heart Radio, I'm your host Heidi Murkoff and
Speaker 1: I'm a mom on a mission, a mission to help
Speaker 1: you know what to expect every step of the way.
Speaker 1: You probably already knew this going in, and if not,
Speaker 1: you definitely found out along the way. A mom's body
Speaker 1: takes one for the team. During pregnancy, your body changes
Speaker 1: in ways that you almost certainly expected, those bigger boobs,
Speaker 1: that swelling belly, and in ways you almost certainly didn't.
Speaker 1: There's nothing more beautiful than a body devoted to the
Speaker 1: growing of a new human life. Every change your body undergoes,
Speaker 1: those pounds you add happens for a reason. Wondering how
Speaker 1: to embrace your new curves, the ones you're acquiring or
Speaker 1: already acquired, but hoping to stay on the healthiest curve
Speaker 1: when it comes to your weight gain. Today, we're getting
Speaker 1: real about your changing body, what's just temporary, what's for keeps,
Speaker 1: and what you can do to keep yourself and your
Speaker 1: pregnancy healthy as you and baby grow. I'm here with Emma, Hey, Emma, hey, mom.
Speaker 1: So it's been a minute since you were pregnant. It's
Speaker 1: been it's longer minute since you've been pregnant. I still
Speaker 1: feel the effects of my pregnancy. Yea, So we're gonna
Speaker 1: talk about how we felt about our pregnant bodies. You first,
Speaker 1: I actually really liked my pregnant body. I think that
Speaker 1: you know that first few months, I was a little
Speaker 1: little anxious, like when I had just gained a little
Speaker 1: bit of weight. I started to show pretty early, so
Speaker 1: it's like that in between are you or aren't you
Speaker 1: kind of situation, And then my boobs got really big
Speaker 1: and they were already they were the perkiest they've ever been.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I felt sexy when I was pregnant,
Speaker 1: especially the second time, because my husband made me feel sexy.
Speaker 1: But I think there's nothing more beautiful than a pregnant body.
Speaker 1: I totally agree. I loved my pregnant body so much.
Speaker 1: From what I can remember, I loved my belly. I
Speaker 1: love my boobs. My only regret was that I didn't
Speaker 1: get to show any of it off. You have the
Speaker 1: chance to wear all those cute maternity clothes. I had
Speaker 1: those maternity jeans and they had an elastic panel like
Speaker 1: up to your boobs, and they were so short, I
Speaker 1: mean the ham on the bottom, it was so so ugly.
Speaker 1: And then I only have what two polaroids of my
Speaker 1: pregnancy because because we didn't have a camera, there's no
Speaker 1: photo graphic evidence. Your belly was something that you couldn't
Speaker 1: show off naked back then. That's so sad, that's so
Speaker 1: I love wearing a bikini when I'm pregnant. Just let
Speaker 1: it all hang out. I mean, I wish I could
Speaker 1: do it all over again. So the best parts for
Speaker 1: you about your pregnant body, boobs or my boobs. And
Speaker 1: I had a little bit of butt for the first
Speaker 1: time in my life, the curves. I felt sexy, obviously,
Speaker 1: like my nose got a little water and I got
Speaker 1: the acne. But besides that, I was loving it. And
Speaker 1: Simon was loving it too. Yeah, I mean honestly, like
Speaker 1: you're softer when you're pregnant, you look softer. I was
Speaker 1: living my best life and I was pregnant. I feel
Speaker 1: like I felt the prettiest when I was pregnant. How
Speaker 1: did you feel about your body after? Well? With my
Speaker 1: first I was in my twenties and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh cool, I'm just gonna bounce back, and that's not
Speaker 1: how it happened. Actually, I remember being on the floor
Speaker 1: of the Victoria's Secret Pink dressing room like crying because
Speaker 1: I couldn't fit into sweatpants. I remember that I was
Speaker 1: with you, Yeah, you are with me, And then I
Speaker 1: got like a belly bandit and that really helped me
Speaker 1: feel better, help my posture a lot. I think that
Speaker 1: you know it takes nine months to grow a baby,
Speaker 1: give yourself at least nine months. I think you say
Speaker 1: this to lose it. And personally, I don't look the
Speaker 1: same as I did before I had a baby. I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna look the same. My boobs are certainly
Speaker 1: not going to look the same. You get a baby,
Speaker 1: you give you a few other things. For me, the
Speaker 1: scariest part were the boobs because when my milk came in,
Speaker 1: I think it was like four four days postpartum, and
Speaker 1: it was very dramatic and it was like the boobs
Speaker 1: at eight Manhattan exactly. Yeah, they were, so I can't.
Speaker 1: I remember like going into the bathroom of my room
Speaker 1: at the hospital and I've lifted up my down and
Speaker 1: I was like, holy crop, So what do you struggle with? Still? Though,
Speaker 1: if anything, I struggle sometimes looking in the mirror with
Speaker 1: my boobs. And you know, I definitely got a lot
Speaker 1: of cellulite when I was pregnant and that stayed around
Speaker 1: and that's okay. I'm learning to embrace it. And the
Speaker 1: thing is this on Instagram, there's this thing that people
Speaker 1: are doing where they're putting like glitter on their stretch
Speaker 1: marks on their stomach, and I think it's so beautiful
Speaker 1: or like creating art with it. I think that embracing
Speaker 1: your mom stripes is such a beautiful thing. It definitely is. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: Let's take a quick break, and when we come back,
Speaker 1: I'm answering the biggest questions you have about weight gain
Speaker 1: and body image during pregnancy. Okay, mom, so let's get
Speaker 1: real about our bodies during end after pregnancy. Let's how
Speaker 1: much weight should a woman gain when they're pregnant. I
Speaker 1: think I gained like thirty five fish. That sounds about right. Truthfully,
Speaker 1: the best person to answer that question is not me.
Speaker 1: The best person is your doctor midwife. So as soon
Speaker 1: in pregnancy as you possibly can, you need to ask
Speaker 1: for that magic number. And that magic number varies a
Speaker 1: lot from mom to mom. How many pounds you should
Speaker 1: plan on gaining is going to be based not just
Speaker 1: on general guidelines, but on your specific body, and everybody
Speaker 1: is different in case you haven't noticed. So that's it.
Speaker 1: For the average weight woman, to thirty five pounds is
Speaker 1: usually considered the sweet spot, so that you definitely fit
Speaker 1: comfortably into that. I mean it might have been thirty seven,
Speaker 1: it might have I don't know. I stopped weighing at
Speaker 1: the end. So that's enough to nurture your baby and
Speaker 1: also to lay on some extra fat stores that you're
Speaker 1: actually going to need later on for breastfeeding. That's the
Speaker 1: padding on the arms and the butt and the thighs
Speaker 1: and all those womanly places that all of us are
Speaker 1: gonna pack on. It's enough, but it's not so much
Speaker 1: that you're piling on extra risks with those extra pounds,
Speaker 1: and that can happen if you really exceed those weight
Speaker 1: gain recommendations. Now. Just as important as a total amount
Speaker 1: of pounds, though, is the rate you gain them at.
Speaker 1: So the goal the objective would begin gain maybe a
Speaker 1: handful of pounds in the first time master give or take,
Speaker 1: and then in the second and third timemesters about a
Speaker 1: pound a week. But that's an average, So it could
Speaker 1: be half a pound one week, and a pound and
Speaker 1: a half the next week, and then three quarters of pounds.
Speaker 1: So as long as it averages out to about a
Speaker 1: pound a week, you don't have a thirty pound baby.
Speaker 1: Thank God. Yeah, hopefully right. So what is all that
Speaker 1: extra weight? Yeah, I would say seven pounds was of you.
Speaker 1: Was plenty of enough for me to push out. So
Speaker 1: you know all those pregnant women with the perfect bellies
Speaker 1: and they say, oh my god, you're all baby, but
Speaker 1: that's not really true. Nobody's all baby because the baby
Speaker 1: is just about a quarter of a total weight game
Speaker 1: for an average wekenn. So the rest is extra fat,
Speaker 1: stores extra fluids. You've got to include about three pounds
Speaker 1: of retain water, two pounds of amniotic fluid, about four
Speaker 1: pounds of extra blood. And then you've got your supersized breasts,
Speaker 1: so they're going to add anywhere between one and three
Speaker 1: pounds or ten or ten. Even your uterus adds about
Speaker 1: two pounds, and I'm not even talking about what's inside
Speaker 1: your uterus. Just your uterus itself grows by two pounds.
Speaker 1: And then the average placenta is about a pound and
Speaker 1: a half, so it all adds up, and it's supposed
Speaker 1: to just three pounds of water weight. Come on, I
Speaker 1: feel like I was way puffier than that, especially in
Speaker 1: my cheeks. You know, you're supposed to retain water. Your
Speaker 1: body eats those extra fluid so it holds onto more
Speaker 1: of them, So when it's in your face and your feet,
Speaker 1: it might feel like more fluid than it actually is,
Speaker 1: and you might not think all that's swelling, so swell,
Speaker 1: but it's normal. I had a mom recently tell me
Speaker 1: that she felt like a cactus when she was pregnant
Speaker 1: because she was prickly and retained water. There's just one
Speaker 1: important caveat make sure you check with your doctor if
Speaker 1: you suddenly have severe swelling, especially in your face or
Speaker 1: your hands and above above the knee, so that it's
Speaker 1: not just in your feet and your feet is more
Speaker 1: likely to be normal if you suddenly have excessive weighting,
Speaker 1: and this could happen in late and pregnancy or postpartum,
Speaker 1: and it could be a sign of a complication like
Speaker 1: pre eclampsia, So make sure you check in about that.
Speaker 1: What if you have problems gaining weight, or what if
Speaker 1: you have a problem watching the numbers go up and
Speaker 1: you get stressed out when you do, maybe because you
Speaker 1: had an eating disorder in the past or something. And
Speaker 1: and even though you know it's the right thing for
Speaker 1: your body, seeing those numbers creeping up can give you anxiety.
Speaker 1: You know, this is such an important conversation to have
Speaker 1: and have it openly. So I'm really glad that we're
Speaker 1: going to talk about it now. So many women, so
Speaker 1: many women have had some kind of disordered eating at
Speaker 1: one point or another in their lives. And many women
Speaker 1: have a really unhealthy relationship with their scale and with
Speaker 1: their eating habits and their body image. And it's easy
Speaker 1: to panic when you gain weight, but gaining the right
Speaker 1: amount of weight during pregnancy it's not only okay, it's necessary,
Speaker 1: it's vital. It's vital to your pregnancy health and to
Speaker 1: your baby sealth. And for some moms, I would say
Speaker 1: it's best just to avoid the scale altogether, except for
Speaker 1: the monthly weigh ins that you get at your doctor
Speaker 1: midwife's office, and then for your sanity. For some moms,
Speaker 1: it's way better if the nerve just doesn't say the
Speaker 1: numbers out loud, like, just records them and doesn't say anything. Now,
Speaker 1: if you have an eating disorder or you've ever had
Speaker 1: an eating disorder and you feel like you're struggling again
Speaker 1: once the weight starts piling on. Please please please talk
Speaker 1: to your doctor midwife and get a referral to a
Speaker 1: therapist or a nutritionist or both who can help you
Speaker 1: talk through those feelings so you can start feeling good
Speaker 1: about eating wealth for yourself and your pregnancy and your baby,
Speaker 1: and feel good about gaining weight. And it's so important.
Speaker 1: And here's where a healthy body image during pregnancy is
Speaker 1: really key. No, you don't want to exceed the weight
Speaker 1: gain recommendations because that's not healthy, but you definitely don't
Speaker 1: want to fall short of them either, because that's not healthy.
Speaker 1: In fact, it's less healthy. This is the time to
Speaker 1: let go of weight gain phobia, to welcome the weight gain.
Speaker 1: So what can you do if you haven't gained any weight,
Speaker 1: or you're not gaining enough off weight. If you need
Speaker 1: to start packing on the pounds, you need to eat more,
Speaker 1: and you don't have to eat more at each meal,
Speaker 1: because it's really hard to eat a lot when you're
Speaker 1: pregnant and it makes heartburn all those tummy troubles. So
Speaker 1: instead of trying to fit it all into two or
Speaker 1: three meals. You want to do the six meal solution
Speaker 1: and eat small amounts frequently and focus on high calorie
Speaker 1: foods that are also high in nutritions, so you know,
Speaker 1: seeds and nuts and avocados. What if you gained a
Speaker 1: lot early on, like say, twenty pounds by the halfway point,
Speaker 1: should you slam on the brakes and try not to
Speaker 1: gain anymore? You know, that happens a lot, and it
Speaker 1: often happens to moms who well, either they're super hungry
Speaker 1: instead of super sick. Yeah, that's gonna go either way.
Speaker 1: Or they could be feeling sick and the only thing
Speaker 1: they're comforted by is ice cream, you know, and fries.
Speaker 1: And that's understandable. That happens, and it can be something
Speaker 1: of a shock when you step on the scale and
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, no, crap, I just gained twenty pounds
Speaker 1: and I'm only you know, eighteen weeks. But you definitely
Speaker 1: shouldn't slam the brakes on your weight gain because the
Speaker 1: second half of your pregnancy is that's the prime growing
Speaker 1: time for your baby, and that means it's prime growing
Speaker 1: time for you. So you've got a game weight you
Speaker 1: can't rely on the pounds you're already added for fueling
Speaker 1: that baby making production lines, so you're gonna have to
Speaker 1: keep adding them, just maybe a little bit more gradually.
Speaker 1: And the best thing to do is to talk to
Speaker 1: your doctor midwife and figure out a weight game plan
Speaker 1: for the rest of your pregnancy and to meet it.
Speaker 1: To focus on foods that pack the most nutrition for
Speaker 1: the fewest calories, so you know, veggies, fruits, lean protein,
Speaker 1: little fat, dairy. The thing to remember is you shouldn't
Speaker 1: go fat free, because fat is essential for your pregnancy health.
Speaker 1: But to go lower fat if you're trying to limit
Speaker 1: the number of pounds you're gaining. And definitely fit fitness
Speaker 1: and all pregnant women should get, you know, unless they've
Speaker 1: been restricted in their activity. They should get thirty minutes
Speaker 1: of exercise a day, and you can definitely do more
Speaker 1: of that, even if it's just power walking or streaming.
Speaker 1: I'm not a fitness kind of gal, so I power walked.
Speaker 1: Walking is a great exercise for pregnancy. Also it helps
Speaker 1: like with nausea, getting fresh air, so it definitely does.
Speaker 1: The ideal exercise actually for pregnancy is swimming. If you
Speaker 1: can get into water, it helps with all of those
Speaker 1: aches and pains and waits. It also helps with extra
Speaker 1: fluid retention. Okay, and I have to ask what about
Speaker 1: our boobs? When do they go back to normal after
Speaker 1: having a baby. Do they ever go back to normal?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with no, Well, I guess would. It
Speaker 1: would depend on your definition of normal. Chances are really
Speaker 1: good you're not going to have exactly the same breast
Speaker 1: that you had going in before. When I would lay down,
Speaker 1: they didn't go to my sides and now they do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's one of the possible. Also, my nipples and
Speaker 1: now the size of texas, So there's that. So I
Speaker 1: would say you probably aren't even going to know exactly
Speaker 1: what you're going to end up with if your breastfeeding
Speaker 1: until after you wean your baby. And I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: Pregnancy can take a toll on the girls. There is
Speaker 1: a lot of growing going on. Often there are stretch
Speaker 1: marks involved, their changes in the color and the size
Speaker 1: of your ariola's and when it's all over, including breastfeeding,
Speaker 1: you might find yourself how do we put this deflated?
Speaker 1: That's normal wear and hair. And by the way, the
Speaker 1: saggy is not caused by breastfeeding. It's caused by pregnancy. Again,
Speaker 1: your results may vary depending on genetics, how big your
Speaker 1: breasts were to begin with, how much support you provide
Speaker 1: them during pregnancy. But here's what we have to remember.
Speaker 1: Your breasts were born to do this. They rise to
Speaker 1: the occasion when they have to, and we should celebrate
Speaker 1: them and embrace them no matter what. And free the nipple.
Speaker 1: Free the nipple. Yes, Okay. What's the biggest surprise moms
Speaker 1: have about their postpartum bods? Okay, so I I remember
Speaker 1: clearly looking down at my belly for the first time
Speaker 1: after delivery and being totally shocked that I still look pregnant. Right,
Speaker 1: I did not look that much different than when I
Speaker 1: checked into the hospital, And I think that is the
Speaker 1: biggest surprise for most moms. You know, the baby has
Speaker 1: left the building, the building still looks six months pregnant.
Speaker 1: Seven months pregnant, and you lose a lot of weight overnight.
Speaker 1: You know, you lose about twelve pounds or so. That's significant,
Speaker 1: but it's not everything that you gain, not by a
Speaker 1: long shot. And the rest comes off over time, and
Speaker 1: it can take some time, and include it includes a
Speaker 1: whole lot of accumulated fluids that you're gonna lose over
Speaker 1: the months, And initially you might notice that you're a
Speaker 1: lot puffier than you might have thought. Like you thought
Speaker 1: pregnancy puffy, postpartum not puffy, not so and you retain
Speaker 1: water after delivery, but especially if you had an epidural,
Speaker 1: because they pump you full of a lot of fluids
Speaker 1: during an epidural and later on. I think most moms
Speaker 1: are not prepared for the extra skin around their bellies.
Speaker 1: You may think, oh, I'm back to my weight and
Speaker 1: who is this? Don't sip up, it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1: But one thing you should be on the lookout for
Speaker 1: is if you have a separation of your abdominal muscles.
Speaker 1: You'll notice a little kind of a pooch between your
Speaker 1: abdominal muscles, especially when you bend down to get something,
Speaker 1: and that's called the die stasis wrecked. I um, you
Speaker 1: don't need to know that. All you need to know
Speaker 1: is it's super common late in pregnancy and you might
Speaker 1: not notice it during pregnancy, but usually it happens then
Speaker 1: and it doesn't always heal on its own. So you
Speaker 1: can do some really easy exercises. I have them in
Speaker 1: the book there on the website on the app to
Speaker 1: help you close the gap, and that can help you,
Speaker 1: you know, get back on the road to recovery for
Speaker 1: your ABS. And it's really important not to do any
Speaker 1: abdominal workouts until that gap has closed, because you can
Speaker 1: do more damage. Here's the thing we have to keep
Speaker 1: in mind. It takes nine months for your body to
Speaker 1: change to gain that pregnancy weight, and it takes at
Speaker 1: least that long to lose the weight and also to
Speaker 1: get back to some kind of semblance of what you
Speaker 1: kind of sort of remember as normal. I mean, let's
Speaker 1: say that your body is never going to be exactly
Speaker 1: the same even after you lose all the weight. But
Speaker 1: we should all wear our mom bodies with pride. We
Speaker 1: earned the stretch marks, we earned the c section scars,
Speaker 1: we earned the slack skin. That's why I love when
Speaker 1: moms share their unfiltered photos of their real post bartom
Speaker 1: bodies and embrace them for what they have achieved and
Speaker 1: not what others perceived. And we're never ever ever gonna
Speaker 1: let a mom be body shamed postpartum just not going
Speaker 1: to happen on our watch. The more we tell each
Speaker 1: other that, the more we're gonna be able to personally
Speaker 1: accept it. So let's keep the conversation going. It doesn't
Speaker 1: matter what necessarily is happening on Instagram. You know, there's
Speaker 1: so much more to it. And you know, honestly, I
Speaker 1: see women on Instagram all the time who were pregnant
Speaker 1: with these tiny arms or or they just gave birth
Speaker 1: and they're like rocking a bikini and they look amazing.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I looked great after I had a baby,
Speaker 1: but not like that, and it's hard. You're like, wait, what,
Speaker 1: why isn't my body doing that too? So you know what, like,
Speaker 1: I get it. No, yourself, know what you can handle
Speaker 1: after you give birth? No, like can I handle seeing people?
Speaker 1: Do I need a break? I want to end with
Speaker 1: a message I got on Facebook from a mom named
Speaker 1: I See You. She said, I love my body during
Speaker 1: pregnancy and I felt the most beautiful. Like if all
Speaker 1: my flaws I thought I had, then we're vanished. I
Speaker 1: had body issues when I was sin I thought it
Speaker 1: was chubby, but I looked back and I see that
Speaker 1: I was a stick. But now I've learned to love
Speaker 1: myself for what I have done and gone through to
Speaker 1: have two wonderful kids. In this world. I just love that. Emma,
Speaker 1: how about you? I love that so much? Perfect ending
Speaker 1: Amen to that? Who baby love, my baby love. I
Speaker 1: need you, Oh how I need you. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1: Remember I'm always here for you. What to Expect is
Speaker 1: always here for you. We're all in this together. For
Speaker 1: more on what you heard on today's episode, visit what
Speaker 1: to Expect dot com slash podcasts. You can also check
Speaker 1: out What to Expect when You're Expecting, What to Expect
Speaker 1: the First Year, and the What to Expect app. And
Speaker 1: we want to hear from you. Connect with us on
Speaker 1: our community message board or on our social media. You
Speaker 1: can find me at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at Emma
Speaker 1: Being wt E and of course at What to Expect.
Speaker 1: Baby Love is performed by Riley Peterer. What to Expect
Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio. From more shows
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