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Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to the very first episode of

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Speaker 1: the UNED Therapy podcast Q and A. So every Monday

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Speaker 1: we come out with a new episode, and then every

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Speaker 1: Wednesday we come out with a Q and A episode,

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Speaker 1: a little shorter episode that is just aimed at answering

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Speaker 1: some of the questions that you guys send me through

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Speaker 1: my email. If you have a question that you want

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Speaker 1: me to address, then you can send it to Catherine

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Speaker 1: at you need Therapy podcast dot com. My name is

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Speaker 1: spelled k A t h r y N. I know

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Speaker 1: that is not a normal way to spell Catherine, but

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Speaker 1: if you're having trouble getting that out k h r M. Alright.

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Speaker 1: So I want to thank you the people that have

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Speaker 1: sent in the messages. I would love to get to

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Speaker 1: every single email, but I can't, and so I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: try my best to address a couple each week and

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Speaker 1: hopefully yours gets in the mix somehow. So we're just

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Speaker 1: going to dive in. I'm going to keep them anonymous,

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Speaker 1: just because I think a lot of this stuff is

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Speaker 1: pretty vulnerable that you reach out and ask about. But

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Speaker 1: I will try my hardest to let you know if

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Speaker 1: I'm going to answer your question in the Q and

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Speaker 1: a episode before it comes out, so you make sure

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Speaker 1: to hear it. Okay, so the first email. First off,

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Speaker 1: I love your podcast so much. It has helped me

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Speaker 1: teach the leadership course I teach in the Air Force.

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Speaker 1: It has also helped me a lot of my own

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Speaker 1: personal life. I really appreciate you well. Thank you. I

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Speaker 1: appreciate you as well. My question is what would you

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Speaker 1: suggest for finding a therapist? Being military move around often

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Speaker 1: in multiple states. Would you recommend the new online services

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Speaker 1: that are coming out or try to find an in

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Speaker 1: person therapist. If you recommend only in person, how do

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Speaker 1: you ask prices, especially when on a budget, and set

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Speaker 1: up an initial appointment? And there's so much in this

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Speaker 1: question and this email that I'm glad that you asked

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Speaker 1: it the way you did, because I get I've actually

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Speaker 1: gotten this a lot of How do I go about

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Speaker 1: finding a therapist? It's easier than you think, and also

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Speaker 1: at the same time a little bit more challenging than

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Speaker 1: you think, if that makes any sense. I want to

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Speaker 1: address the part about in person or online. I don't

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Speaker 1: know that much about programs like Better Help and stuff

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Speaker 1: like that. I've heard people that I've used them, and

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Speaker 1: I've liked them, however, I don't know enough about them

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Speaker 1: to endorse them. I think it's really cool that they're

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Speaker 1: coming out with things that are easier to access than

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Speaker 1: in person therapy, especially with COVID and stuff like that

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Speaker 1: and people just not being able to meet in person.

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Speaker 1: So I can't exactly give you a recommendation for that.

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Speaker 1: I think my inclination is to always go and try

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Speaker 1: to find somebody local that you can see in person

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Speaker 1: if you want, and especially when things start to open

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Speaker 1: back up more. Now with that being said, how to

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Speaker 1: go about finding a therapist in general? So I think

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Speaker 1: the best thing to do is word of mouth. I

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Speaker 1: think the best recommendations we get for anything are from

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Speaker 1: people that have experienced them themselves. I know therapy can

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Speaker 1: be kind of a scary thing to ask for and

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Speaker 1: to ask for recommendations for, and it can seem kind

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Speaker 1: of vulnerable. There is a website called Psychology Today that

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Speaker 1: you can go on and you can search your area

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Speaker 1: for people and can look at them based on what

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Speaker 1: their specialties are. That's always not the most reliable. I'm

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Speaker 1: not even on Psychology Today. And you can also just

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Speaker 1: do a Google search and type in therapist in my

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Speaker 1: area and see what comes up, and then I recommend

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Speaker 1: going to their website, reading there about me and seeing

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Speaker 1: if you gravitate or you relate to anything that they're saying.

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Speaker 1: The truth is you're not going to jive with every

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Speaker 1: therapist out there. There are plenty of people that wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be a good fit for me based on what my

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Speaker 1: specialties are and just based on my personality. Because your

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Speaker 1: therapist is somebody that is going to be pretty close

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Speaker 1: to you and you're gonna want to go back to

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Speaker 1: that person, doesn't mean it needs to be somebody that

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Speaker 1: you would want to be friends with, because your therapist

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Speaker 1: isn't essentially your friend, but it needs to be somebody

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Speaker 1: that you feel comfortable with and that you don't feel

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Speaker 1: judges you and you feel understands you. And the question

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Speaker 1: I get a lot too is should I find a

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Speaker 1: therapist that is closer to my age older than me?

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Speaker 1: Is it okay to have a therapist that's younger than me?

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Speaker 1: And I don't think age really matters when it comes

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Speaker 1: to therapy. I think you need to look at are

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Speaker 1: they able to understand the things that I'm talking about.

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Speaker 1: I don't believe that your therapist has to have gone

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Speaker 1: through exactly what you've been through, but they do need

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Speaker 1: to be able to understand what that felt like or

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Speaker 1: was like. So I don't think every therapist that works

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Speaker 1: with eating disorders or addiction has to have struggled with that,

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Speaker 1: but they have to have the ability to understand what

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Speaker 1: that is because there's a piece of relatability in that,

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Speaker 1: I think, and I know for me, self disclosure is

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Speaker 1: something that we talk a lot about in school, and

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Speaker 1: what that means is like if the therapist is telling

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Speaker 1: about their life to the client, and there's a fine

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Speaker 1: line of are you doing that too much? Are you

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Speaker 1: talking about yourself during too much during your client session,

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Speaker 1: or is what you're saying super going to be helpful

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Speaker 1: and relatable? And I do use a healthy amount of

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Speaker 1: self disclosure because I think it helps to not feel

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Speaker 1: alone and some of the stuff that we come to

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Speaker 1: therapy forre and my current therapist, I went to her

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Speaker 1: after I had gone through a really tough ending and

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Speaker 1: of our relationship and I was just like crying every

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Speaker 1: session for probably the first couple of months. But one

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Speaker 1: of the earliest sessions she's told me part of her

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Speaker 1: story and to me. I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: you went through that and you are a functioning, healthy,

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Speaker 1: seemingly happy human being. I can do this. It is

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Speaker 1: possible because in my head it was never going to

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Speaker 1: get better. I was never going to not feel like

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Speaker 1: I felt, and so that gave me a lot of

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Speaker 1: hope and I was really happy. She shared that did

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Speaker 1: my therapist have to have gone through that to help

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Speaker 1: me know? But it was helpful. I guess what I'm

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Speaker 1: saying is one word of mouth. Ask people around you

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Speaker 1: if they have somebody they recommend, and then go online

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Speaker 1: and just like try to get a feel for them. Also,

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Speaker 1: it's okay to go to a therapy session and not

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Speaker 1: like your therapist and not go back. I would be

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Speaker 1: pretty careful of like why are you not going back?

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Speaker 1: And maybe you might want to give her a second

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Speaker 1: chance or her air hammis that a chance. But it's

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Speaker 1: okay to like, not like that therapist and find somebody else.

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Speaker 1: I'll use me as an example, my current therapist. I

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Speaker 1: had gone to a session before, like probably a couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks before with somebody and I didn't feel connected

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Speaker 1: to that person at all. And I'm a therapist, so

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Speaker 1: I need an experienced therapist because I I essentially know

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Speaker 1: all the answers to some of the questions I show

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Speaker 1: up with. So I need somebody with a really good

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Speaker 1: bullshit meter. But I didn't go back to her and

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Speaker 1: I found somebody else, and like, that's okay, and do

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Speaker 1: not worry about hurting the therapist feelings. We can take

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Speaker 1: care of ourselves. And so you got to think about

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Speaker 1: this is for you. And then the other part you say,

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Speaker 1: if you recommend in person, how do you ask for prices,

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Speaker 1: especially when on a budget, and set up the initial appointment?

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Speaker 1: So email somebody, Email whoever the person is that you're

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Speaker 1: looking to set up an appointment with, and you can

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Speaker 1: just say like, hey, I just want to get some

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Speaker 1: more information about your services and what you provide. I

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Speaker 1: would like to know what your rate is and if

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Speaker 1: you want them to take your insurance. A lot of

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Speaker 1: people don't take insurance. A little clue though, a little

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Speaker 1: tip you can get and burst based on your own insurance,

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Speaker 1: like this is not everybody, but check with your insurance company.

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Speaker 1: Just because the therapist doesn't take insurance doesn't mean that

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Speaker 1: you can't still submit it and be reimbursed yourself. So

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Speaker 1: I can give my clients what it's called a super bill.

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Speaker 1: You have to be licensed to be able to do that.

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Speaker 1: But I can give my clients a super bill and

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Speaker 1: they submit that to their insurance and some of them

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Speaker 1: get paid some of the their fees back. So when

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Speaker 1: a therapist says I don't take insurance, don't let that

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Speaker 1: stop you there. If that's somebody you really want to see,

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Speaker 1: call your insurance and see if you can get reimbursed

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Speaker 1: and what you would need, and then talk with that

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Speaker 1: person to see if they could provide that. And then

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Speaker 1: the next part is they don't take insurance and you

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Speaker 1: can't get reimbursed and it's too expensive. It never ever

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Speaker 1: ever hurts to ask if they have sliding scale spots open.

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Speaker 1: So a sliding scale is a spot that a therapist

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Speaker 1: will save for somebody who can't afford your full rate,

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Speaker 1: and most therapists have at least one spot. Ask the

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Speaker 1: person do they have a sliding else spot open? If

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Speaker 1: they say no, you can say okay, thank you. Can

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Speaker 1: you let me know when a spot opens up? And

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Speaker 1: a lot of people have waiting lists for their stiding

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Speaker 1: scale as well. So one insurance check to see if

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Speaker 1: you can be reimbursed and then to ask for a

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Speaker 1: stidding scale spot. And then if you can't afford it,

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Speaker 1: then there's other places that might offer less expensive options.

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Speaker 1: There's a place I know in Nashville called the Refuge

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Speaker 1: Center that is all income based and they take your

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Speaker 1: income and you get your rate based on that. And

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Speaker 1: so if you're really struggling, you could go and see

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Speaker 1: a therapist for like twenty dollars a session, which is

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Speaker 1: really really inexpensive. Don't be afraid to ask about that stuff.

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Speaker 1: We have to talk about that stuff all day long,

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Speaker 1: so it's not offensive or awkward or weird for us

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Speaker 1: to talk about money and and fees. And then to

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Speaker 1: set up the appointment, you just email them and you say, hey,

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Speaker 1: I would love to set up an appointment. Do you

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Speaker 1: have any space. Here's my availability. You probably will go

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Speaker 1: back and forth and you'll find a time and you'll

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Speaker 1: set it up and it'll be great. I hope I

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Speaker 1: answered that question. That was still very long winded way

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Speaker 1: to answer that, and good luck for who sent that

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Speaker 1: question in and for anybody else who is out there

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Speaker 1: on the track looking for recommendations of their own. Okay,

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Speaker 1: and then my second question, I recently started coaching cross fit.

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Speaker 1: I'm also recovering from an eating disorder, So now when

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Speaker 1: I hear talk about nutrition, body image, and guilt around food,

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Speaker 1: I really just want to screen. Now that I'm a coach,

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Speaker 1: everybody thinks that I'm full of advice. When I get

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Speaker 1: a question from an athlete outside of my scope, I

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Speaker 1: make blanket statements of I'm not qualified to give out

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Speaker 1: advice on that topic, and then direct them towards someone

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Speaker 1: who can. It doesn't seem like other coaches do that.

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Speaker 1: I tried to voice my opinion on the matter and

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Speaker 1: explain why, but every time it just seems like I

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Speaker 1: get backlash and they just kind of throw it out, like, Oh,

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Speaker 1: she's the baby coach and she doesn't really know what

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Speaker 1: she's talking about. This isn't an environment I want for athletes.

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Speaker 1: And if I'm preaching one message but I have five

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Speaker 1: other coaches preaching another, that can be very confusing. How

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Speaker 1: do you try to incorporate a new belief system in

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Speaker 1: a culture that is so rigid and thinking, Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: I love this. I love this question. So one. I

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Speaker 1: love this because she's mentioning that she is coaching CrossFit

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Speaker 1: and she's recovering from an eaty disorder. And I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of us think that in our recovery, we

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Speaker 1: can't do stuff like that and we have to kind

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Speaker 1: of take those things out of our lives, and that's

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Speaker 1: just so not true. I became a fitness instructor host

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Speaker 1: eating disorder, and it was actually a really cool healing

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Speaker 1: agent from me. Now, you have to be really honest

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Speaker 1: with yourself, and you have to make sure you are

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Speaker 1: being held accountable and not going and acting in old behaviors.

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Speaker 1: But it's something that it can be really empowering to

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Speaker 1: take back control of in recovery. And I love this

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Speaker 1: question because I experienced a lot of this too, and

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Speaker 1: there's a couple of things that come up from me. One,

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Speaker 1: I've had to really come to terms with the fact

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Speaker 1: I am not going to be able to change everybody's mind,

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Speaker 1: and people usually for the most part, except help when

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Speaker 1: they want to, and that might be a different time

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Speaker 1: than when we want them to accept help. And so

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Speaker 1: the only thing I can control is myself and the

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Speaker 1: message that I spread and really being in check with

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Speaker 1: Is this hurting my ego because people think that I'm

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Speaker 1: not as smart, or is this really hurting my heart

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Speaker 1: because I'm scared that this information is being spread and

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Speaker 1: it doesn't sit well and it's not right or a

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Speaker 1: little both. And yeah, I just want to first say

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Speaker 1: that this is a tough spot to be in. I

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Speaker 1: would definitely want to make sure that you feel safe

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Speaker 1: in that environment and it's not a triggering environment for you,

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Speaker 1: because it's also okay if you need to go to

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Speaker 1: a different place to coach. If it's not safe and

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Speaker 1: healthy and supportive of your recovery, that's okay. Not all

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Speaker 1: GEMS environments are environments that support the recovery process, and

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Speaker 1: I know for me, I've had to send some letters

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Speaker 1: to some gems about some of their behavior and how

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Speaker 1: they are putting a lot of my clients at risk

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Speaker 1: and and damaging their health. I love that you are

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Speaker 1: redirecting people when it's not your space to give advice,

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Speaker 1: because as a fitness trainer, you are not qualified to

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Speaker 1: give New Trician advice. A dietitian is qualified to give

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Speaker 1: nutrition advice, but it's totally out of a trainer's scope

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Speaker 1: unless they are a registered dietitian to give somebody nutrition advice,

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Speaker 1: especially when it comes to medical nutrition. Advice that's really

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Speaker 1: dangerous and you can get yourself in some muddy water.

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Speaker 1: And there's so many factors that you probably don't know

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Speaker 1: about this human The other thing is there's not a

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Speaker 1: one size fits all and so when people are in gyms,

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Speaker 1: and it's a very like, I think, harmless question to

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Speaker 1: ask a trainer like oh my gosh, what do you eat?

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Speaker 1: Or what should I do about this? Or whould I

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Speaker 1: eat if I want this result? It's very harmless. They're

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Speaker 1: looking at you as the expert, and it's our job

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Speaker 1: to say, oh, I'm at the expert in that, but

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Speaker 1: here's somebody who is. I think the best thing you

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Speaker 1: can do if you feel like that's this place that

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Speaker 1: you can continue to be in. Right, if it doesn't

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Speaker 1: feel like it's harmful to your recovery, the best thing

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Speaker 1: you can do is continue to stay in your lane

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Speaker 1: and lead by example. And I know for me in

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Speaker 1: the place where I was an instructor, I was one

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Speaker 1: of the lead instructors there and I was able to

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Speaker 1: make rules about things we could and could not say

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Speaker 1: while teaching, and that was really helpful and there wasn't

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Speaker 1: a lot of pushback from it. I think That's the

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Speaker 1: thing that I would want you to look more at,

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Speaker 1: is why am I getting so much pushed back here?

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Speaker 1: Because it might not be safe for me to be

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Speaker 1: here if that's the case. And so lead by example.

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Speaker 1: People are going to start to really take on that

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Speaker 1: energy that you see. And I think the best thing

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Speaker 1: that can happen is people see the positive changes you're

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Speaker 1: helping people make in their lives, and they're going to

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Speaker 1: look to you and say, oh my gosh, how are

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Speaker 1: you doing that? I want to be more like that.

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Speaker 1: And so again, lead by example, continue to stay in

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Speaker 1: your lane. And I find that talking in those eye

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Speaker 1: statements when in environments where this topic is brought up,

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Speaker 1: is this doesn't feel right to me because in my experience,

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Speaker 1: rather than telling other people they're doing things wrong. So

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Speaker 1: encourage people by talking about your experience because a lot

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Speaker 1: of times, if we haven't struggled with that of stuff

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Speaker 1: we want struggle with even disort of exercise addiction, it's

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Speaker 1: really confusing and it doesn't make a lot of sense

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Speaker 1: because it's not mainstream yet. And I think when we

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Speaker 1: talk about our experience, people can oh, oh my gosh, okay,

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Speaker 1: I never would have thought of it. That way, rather

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Speaker 1: than us saying you're doing this wrong this because when

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Speaker 1: you do this then people are automatically on the defense

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Speaker 1: and they're automatically ready to tell you that they're not wrong.

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Speaker 1: I love that you're standing firm and some of that stuff,

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Speaker 1: because I know how hard it can be when it

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Speaker 1: seems like the majority group is not behind you. Well, guys,

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Speaker 1: thank you for those questions, and remember if you have

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Speaker 1: a question yourself, you can send them to me Catherine

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Speaker 1: at you Need Therapy podcast dot com, follow me at

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Speaker 1: at you Need Therapy Podcast and at cat dot de fata,

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Speaker 1: and you can visit us and learn more about us

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Speaker 1: and shop our march over at you Need Therapy podcast

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Speaker 1: dot com. I hope you have a great risk of

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Speaker 1: your week, and I will talk to you again on Monday.