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Speaker 1: Scottie, are you ready for one?

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Speaker 2: I am so ready for one.

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Speaker 3: Today parrot tells firefighter to fuck off during rescue attempt.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I love what it gets.

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Speaker 4: This Bananas Still World.

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Speaker 5: Would be.

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Speaker 2: Your modsillient pieces, would you?

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Speaker 5: Banasa?

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Speaker 3: Hello, ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to this show called Bananas,

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Speaker 3: all about strange and fascinating news. I am one of

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Speaker 3: your hosts, Kurk Brown Older.

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Speaker 4: I am the other one, Scotti Landis and uh gosh.

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Speaker 4: Every week these stories just seem to get weirder and

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Speaker 4: dumber and more absurd.

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Speaker 3: And to discuss all of them with us today is

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Speaker 3: the overwhelmingly hilarious and fantastic comedian you can hear on

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Speaker 3: her own podcast called Couple's Therapy, which is excellent.

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Speaker 1: Please welcome Naomi ek Peragan. Yay, So are you Naomi

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Speaker 1: doing alright?

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Speaker 5: I need to hear some crazy shit right now?

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 5: You need to remember that some people are just dumb.

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Speaker 5: To take the edge off.

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Speaker 3: You came to the right place, that the absurdity of

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Speaker 3: the world is oftentimes also funny, yeah, not horrible.

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Speaker 1: Yes, all right, I will tell you about this bird.

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Speaker 1: So it's this bird.

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Speaker 3: First of all, this was sent in by listener P Martinez.

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Speaker 2: Thank you PPP.

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Speaker 3: This bird okay, this is and this is from Mashable.

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Speaker 3: This was written by Morgan Song and it starts off

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Speaker 3: with this bird was not in the mood to be

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Speaker 3: so Jesse, a bright yellow and turquoise macaw parrot, escaped

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Speaker 3: from her home in Edmonton, UK.

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Speaker 1: For some reason. I have a lot of UK stories

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Speaker 1: this week. I don't know why.

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Speaker 3: That's okay, and stranded herself on her neighbor's roof for

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Speaker 3: three days and concerned it she was injured. They called

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Speaker 3: the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

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Speaker 3: the RSPCA, and they couldn't get her down, so then

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Speaker 3: they sent the fire department and Jesse's owner told the firefighter,

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Speaker 3: and here's the best part about it.

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Speaker 1: To say I love you, to try to find with

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Speaker 1: the bird back to safety.

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Speaker 3: But when the firefighter went up there and said I

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Speaker 3: love you, she said, fuck you.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, I love it.

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Speaker 3: And there's a photograph of this firefighter, yes, very buff man,

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Speaker 3: telling this bird I love you, and it is amazing.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that's good.

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Speaker 1: Did everybody ever own a bird?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, it's growing up.

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Speaker 4: I don't remember it all feels so cruel looking back though,

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Speaker 4: Like I remember buying them from a store where they

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Speaker 4: would clip their wings, put it in a cardboard box,

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Speaker 4: and then you would take it home. Yeah, she seems

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Speaker 4: not okay. But I have an aunt who is just

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Speaker 4: terrified of birds, Like she's just completely afraid of birds.

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Speaker 2: And when we were.

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Speaker 6: Peeking, afraid of birds, Yeah, my mom wouldn't let me

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Speaker 6: have birds because she was afraid of them. She was like,

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Speaker 6: I wanted a bird, Like we growing up in New

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Speaker 6: York into an apartment. I was like, give me something

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Speaker 6: in a cage, like what else am I going to do?

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Speaker 6: And then the little birds they always looks so cute,

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Speaker 6: and so I was like, I want a bird, and

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Speaker 6: she was like, no, they're creepy, just all birds, and

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Speaker 6: so I couldn't.

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Speaker 5: I couldn't have one.

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Speaker 6: But now, as she said, I'm like, it does kind

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Speaker 6: of feel wrong to be like, yeah, I guess she's

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Speaker 6: sitting in that cage. And then when I want to

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Speaker 6: go to bed, I put a blanket on you.

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Speaker 3: You know what I mean, Yes, there goes over the cage.

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Speaker 3: I mean I understand that the idea of it is

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Speaker 3: to make it dark for them, and so they don't

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Speaker 3: see they can relax, but it does seem like, are

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Speaker 3: you cold, hey, bod.

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Speaker 4: I lived in Brooklyn for eight years, and I noticed

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Speaker 4: towards the last I don't know, three or four years,

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Speaker 4: I started buying like a lot of plants, and then

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Speaker 4: I thought I got like a Beto, one of those

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Speaker 4: little Japanese fighting fish, and I noticed I started like

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Speaker 4: craving sort of nature and that kind of thing, and

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Speaker 4: it was like time to get out of New York.

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Speaker 4: But one day I was like, I'm gonna go get

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Speaker 4: some finches. I'm going to go buy a bird cage

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Speaker 4: and get some finches. So I took this took the

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Speaker 4: subway down to this pet store in Brooklyn that had

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Speaker 4: a ton of birds, and the finches were like fourteen dollars,

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Speaker 4: but they were so loud, like they were loud, and

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Speaker 4: the guy that works there comes over me. He's like hey,

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Speaker 4: and I was like, yeah, I'm thinking about buying some

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Speaker 4: of these birds. He's like, oh, yeah, these are good,

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Speaker 4: and I'm like, are they always just loud? He goes yeah,

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Speaker 4: but uh, he goes, but we have ones that don't

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Speaker 4: really make any sound at all. And I go, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 4: he goes, yeah, these over here, and there's like ten birds,

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Speaker 4: little beautiful little finches in a cage and they were silent.

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Speaker 2: I was like, how much of those he got? Two

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Speaker 2: hundred dollars apiece?

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Speaker 4: They're absolutely marked up just on the liveability of these birds,

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Speaker 4: and they just silently said there.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I can't spend two hundred dollars on

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Speaker 2: a bird.

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Speaker 3: Silent, something that doesn't do one of the two things

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Speaker 3: which fly. My grandmother had an African gray parrot that live.

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Speaker 3: Then they're supposed to live for like a little time, right,

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Speaker 3: for like fifty years or something, which is insane to

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Speaker 3: think about.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and it was fine.

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Speaker 3: But I never realized that my grandma was like an

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Speaker 3: eccentric woman until.

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Speaker 1: Later when I thought about it.

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Speaker 3: Oh boy, because she had an African gray parrot.

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Speaker 1: Then she also just had a monkey. Sure, what why

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Speaker 1: wouldn't she And.

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Speaker 5: Does she live in Africa?

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Speaker 1: She lived in Florida, she lived.

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Speaker 5: Okay, okay, the Africa of America.

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Speaker 3: Ye, And she just had it and it lived in

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Speaker 3: like this weird long vertical cage and it had like

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Speaker 3: a little trash can that was his home. And it

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Speaker 3: was like nailed to the side of it, and she

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Speaker 3: wanted to call it Bimbo, but my mom wouldn't let her,

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Speaker 3: so it was called Bimbi.

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Speaker 1: Which made no sense what to her.

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Speaker 3: And I just felt bad for that. Fucking It was

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Speaker 3: like a little tiny monkey. I couldn't possibly be legal.

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Speaker 3: I can't imagine.

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Speaker 6: It's like the monkey from friends, like the little capuchin,

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Speaker 6: like one of those.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like that, but it was just scared

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Speaker 1: all the time. I just felt bad for it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think there's a reason you can't get those anymore.

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Speaker 4: I mean, there was a time in the eighties nine

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Speaker 4: where you weren't allowed to get turtles like that, let

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Speaker 4: alone a monkey, because they were like salmonilla.

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Speaker 2: If you get turtles.

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Speaker 6: I had turtles, That's what I had. I had turtles.

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Speaker 6: I had four turtles. Cool quickly went down to three.

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Speaker 5: But the little ones, yeah, that you know you couldn't

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Speaker 5: really touch.

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Speaker 6: I named them. They were Ren and Stimpy and u

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Speaker 6: and Skeeters. So that tells you how old I was,

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Speaker 6: these turtles. And I would just the thing about them, obviously,

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Speaker 6: because you can't really do too much, right, I can

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Speaker 6: kind of when I would clean out their tank, you

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Speaker 6: put them in the bathtub and then I could kind

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Speaker 6: of like touch them and you know, like watch them

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Speaker 6: do stuff.

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Speaker 5: But the big the part that was like fun.

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Speaker 6: You would get them feeder fish, so you know, like tiny,

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Speaker 6: tiny goldfish.

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Speaker 5: And that's what they would eat.

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Speaker 6: And so my favorite thing was like the two days,

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Speaker 6: like you would get them these feeder fish. You just

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Speaker 6: dump them in and then it was just like having

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Speaker 6: your own national geographic, you know what I mean, just

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Speaker 6: like watching them just like attack and eat. And then

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Speaker 6: like one of them, one of the turtles I remember,

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Speaker 6: he was I don't know if he was a sociopath

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Speaker 6: or batty job. Basically he would never fully like kill

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Speaker 6: a fish, like he would kind of like bite it,

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Speaker 6: and then it'd be like half a fish wiggling in

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Speaker 6: the tank, and it was like finish the job, joby. Yes,

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Speaker 6: Actually the first to go, the first and go was

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Speaker 6: a who would just like half eat a fish.

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Speaker 1: How do you know when a turtle is dead?

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Speaker 2: Great question?

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Speaker 5: Don't move no more?

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Speaker 3: But can't sometimes turtles pull in all of their like

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Speaker 3: appendages and not move.

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Speaker 6: Yes, but his appendages were out. I just think they

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Speaker 6: remembered basically because you know, you have little rocks and stuff.

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Speaker 6: Because they like to kind of be under the light.

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Speaker 6: So he it was this one time where he was

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Speaker 6: just at the bottom and just literally just like out,

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Speaker 6: arms out and I was like, well, I guess this

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Speaker 6: is over.

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Speaker 1: And then which one was it?

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Speaker 5: Oh God, it was Skeeter.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, classic, he had crossairs on him from the day

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Speaker 4: was born.

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Speaker 2: Skeeter. That's so funny.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that was a good time.

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Speaker 1: Give me another one, Scottie.

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Speaker 2: I again.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna just do We're doing a variety today.

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Speaker 4: I'm pulling stories that are we got everything. Here's the headline.

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Speaker 4: This is from NBC News, written by H. K. Holend Rosenblat.

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Speaker 4: We love that, Kay Helen Rose Black, God, she's the

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Speaker 4: best headline. California woman dreamed about eating her engagement wing ring,

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Speaker 4: woke up and found out she really did. Okay, this

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Speaker 4: is This is very fascinating because this happens often. I

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Speaker 4: like the story references that this happens a lot. But

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Speaker 4: people swallow their engagement rings in their sleep way more

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Speaker 4: than you think. Wait what, I know, it's crazy, So

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Speaker 4: I'll tell you how Jenna Evans did it. So Jenna

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Speaker 4: Evans was on the high speed train that was racing

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Speaker 4: down the tracks her fiance by her side. When some

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Speaker 4: quote bad guys appeared, there was only one way to

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Speaker 4: protect her two point four carrot diamond engagement ring.

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Speaker 5: Swow.

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Speaker 2: So that's what Evans did.

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Speaker 4: Quote I popped that sucker off, put it in my

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Speaker 4: mouth and swallowed it with a glass of water, Evans

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Speaker 4: put On said on her Facebook post. Then she woke up. Great,

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Speaker 4: see Rosenblatt knows how to reel you a story.

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Speaker 5: She bringing in smashed the titles.

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Speaker 2: Baby smashed her titles.

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Speaker 4: So Evans woke up from this nightmare where she's being

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Speaker 4: chased and she swallows her ring so that you know,

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Speaker 4: robbers don't get it.

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Speaker 2: And then she was relieved.

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Speaker 4: Wednesday morning, when she wakes up, the whole episode had

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Speaker 4: just been a vivid, bizarre dream. She says her dream

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Speaker 4: was very James Bond, which I don't know. It makes

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Speaker 4: your team four hundred and ninety years old. She's young

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Speaker 4: and lovely until she realized her engagement ring was no

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Speaker 4: longer on her finger. Evans, who has a history of sleepwalking,

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Speaker 4: oh jous yeah jee there it is soon there. It

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Speaker 4: is soon realized that while the quote unquote bad guys

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Speaker 4: on the high speed train had all been in her

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Speaker 4: snooze like subconscious. The consumption, the consumption of her engagement

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Speaker 4: ring was real. So she wakes up it's not there,

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Speaker 4: and her husband or fiance is just cracking up at

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Speaker 4: her because she thinks at this point maybe she did

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Speaker 4: swallow it. So she googled how often adults swallow rings,

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Speaker 4: and it turns out the children do it almost constantly, but.

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Speaker 1: That it does also everything.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're just kids, are vacuums. Uh.

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Speaker 4: And so she goes to urgent urgent care clinic where

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Speaker 4: doctors urgent care.

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Speaker 5: You just have a MiraLax urgent care.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna have to rescue that ring from a couple

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Speaker 1: more bad guys.

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Speaker 4: Toilet girl, you'll be shitting diamonds by the time, and

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Speaker 4: she did so.

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Speaker 2: The gastro enterologist.

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Speaker 4: Looks at basically puts a camera down her throat, finds

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Speaker 4: it in her intestine. It had already passed stomach and

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Speaker 4: she quote waited for a long time for that damn

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Speaker 4: engagement ring, and.

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Speaker 2: I will marry Bobby Howell. Damn it.

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Speaker 4: I mean, Jenna, Jenna's complicated lady. So yes, they the

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Speaker 4: doctors said, you're just gonna have to let this thing pass.

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Speaker 4: As naturally as you can pass a two point four

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Speaker 4: I carrot diamond ring.

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Speaker 3: I have lost multiple engagement rings, I mean multiple wedding rings.

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Speaker 3: Have you, yes, this, I'm on my third one. And

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Speaker 3: now this is just a this is just a stainless

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Speaker 3: steel ring to cost forty dollars because I wear and

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Speaker 3: as soon as I bought a forty dollars wedding ring,

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Speaker 3: I haven't lost it. I've had this one for two

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Speaker 3: years and I lost two in one year. One I

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Speaker 3: have no idea where one went, but another one I

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Speaker 3: got onto a plane. I had it on. I fell

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Speaker 3: asleep on the plane. I got off the plane and

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Speaker 3: in the airport of like right after I got off

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Speaker 3: the plane, I realized my wedding ring was gone.

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Speaker 5: Someone took it off your finger when you were sleeping.

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Speaker 3: No, I think because I stuffed my hands underneath my

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Speaker 3: and my armpits when I sleep on planes.

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Speaker 5: Keep them in, keep them warm, keep them in, keep

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Speaker 5: them in.

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Speaker 3: And also a big person, so I have to kind

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Speaker 3: of like m M wrap my arms around myself, so

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Speaker 3: I don't like to put touch other people. And I

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Speaker 3: think I pulled my hand out sleeping and it came

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Speaker 3: off and just fell.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, your body was like, I'm not married in Missouri.

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Speaker 4: I'll see you to night.

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Speaker 6: But like my nightmare is funny because I've been engaged

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Speaker 6: in a long time and I have this ring, and

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Speaker 6: outside of an engagement ring, I don't wear jewelry.

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Speaker 5: So for me, I'm always nervous.

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Speaker 6: About like it's just being like the only expensive thing

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Speaker 6: I have and it is what everyone can see. And

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Speaker 6: I would always I tend to be when I was

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Speaker 6: in New York, I would always like on the train,

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Speaker 6: I would always like put it, you know exactly, I

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Speaker 6: would turn it in just out of you know, just

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Speaker 6: schooling up in New York and trusting no one ever.

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Speaker 6: But then I would, but then there'd be talking like,

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Speaker 6: oh where is it? Or you know if I take

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Speaker 6: it off? But I don't even take it off now,

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Speaker 6: and I hear this is weird. I don't take it

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Speaker 6: off like to shower or like to do stuff like I.

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Speaker 5: Just literally just keep it on.

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Speaker 3: Sure, but then something wait, taking I take mine off

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Speaker 3: when I sleep.

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Speaker 2: I do think you might eat it like Jenna did.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, put it somewhere.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why I find it more funny.

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Speaker 4: Did you wear jewelry like when you're like in high

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Speaker 4: school or middle school, Like, were you wearing bracelets and

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Speaker 4: necklaces on a phone?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 6: No, no, no, I even like I got my my

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Speaker 6: ears were pierced as a baby, and then as soon

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Speaker 6: as I was old enough to have a say, I

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Speaker 6: was like absolutely not y. I always kind of felt it,

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Speaker 6: like because even like bracelets, like they're cute as a concept,

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Speaker 6: but then they're just like making noise and clinking.

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00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,040
Speaker 5: And clanking on stuff, you know.

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Speaker 6: And then I always thought a necklace would strangle me,

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Speaker 6: you know, a lot of exciting, a lot of anxiety.

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Speaker 4: Breakaway paper necklace and thank you for being on the show.

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Speaker 2: Just a damp cardboard necklace.

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Speaker 4: It's funny because when I was in middle school and

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Speaker 4: then really in high school, I wore necklaces and rings

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Speaker 4: and bracelets, and then and I got to college and

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Speaker 4: they went away, and like maybe I had like a

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Speaker 4: bracelet or like I don't even wear a watch. But

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Speaker 4: it was I keep thinking about why I was doing that.

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Speaker 4: I think just growing up in like some small town

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Speaker 4: in Maryland. Like I think I was trying to like

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Speaker 4: say that I'm different, like that I know that there's

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Speaker 4: something else I can provide this world. I was limited

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Speaker 4: to my house and owning all and the only way

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Speaker 4: I could show the world that I was like not

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Speaker 4: like everybody else was wearing the same pukashell necklaces and

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Speaker 4: hemp bras and that everybody else.

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Speaker 1: Was that everybody else was mad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I really did. And I know, like I see.

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Speaker 4: Photos of that time and like I'll have like four

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Speaker 4: necklaces on, like four beaded necklaces, or I'll have the

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Speaker 4: idea of wearing a ring now just I can't even

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Speaker 4: imagine it, Like I wait, how many?

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Speaker 5: Because I'm not here for a fashion ring. Sure, I

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Speaker 5: don't like when a guy has more than.

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Speaker 6: One ring on, and I don't I don't even mean

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00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,600
Speaker 6: have to be a wedding ring, but just one, like

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Speaker 6: literally one, like do not come in here with a

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Speaker 6: thumb ring?

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Speaker 5: Do you remember toe rings and how that was acceptable?

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Speaker 4: My friend you'd buy me one for my birthday and

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00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:17,240
Speaker 4: Redondo Beach last year and we last year. I wore

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Speaker 4: it for a day and I took a photo the

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00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,680
Speaker 4: next morning and sent it to her just so I

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00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:26,880
Speaker 4: could be like thanks again, this is amazing. But men's

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00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,080
Speaker 4: feed aren't anything to write home about. To begin with

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00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:33,360
Speaker 4: and any shiny thing drawing more eyes towards them. So

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Speaker 4: I would wear like two rings. I would have like

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Speaker 4: I mean, I just wore everything. It was suburban. It

347
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,160
Speaker 4: was a suburban to find.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like an attempt to like like discover

349
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Speaker 3: a like an identity.

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Speaker 2: Did you did you have any on you.

351
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,800
Speaker 1: To wear so many crystals?

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00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:58,119
Speaker 3: No? Yeah, when I was twelve, I was really into crystals.

353
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,680
Speaker 3: I would bury them in the backyard during full moons

354
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,040
Speaker 3: and everything to recharge.

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Speaker 5: And you were met for La. You were meant to

356
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:07,240
Speaker 5: live in LA.

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00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:11,160
Speaker 3: I do not like crystals now. I go to make

358
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:15,000
Speaker 3: fun of them now, but back then loved.

359
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,840
Speaker 4: Of It's funny like people that really believe in the

360
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,280
Speaker 4: power of stones and crystals and stuff.

361
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:20,520
Speaker 2: And I'm sure a lot of our listeners do.

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00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,240
Speaker 4: And I've also been gifted them by actors I've worked

363
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 4: to worth on TV shows where they're like, thank you, Scotty,

364
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,840
Speaker 4: and they'll give me like a They'll like this is

365
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,879
Speaker 4: a certain kind of quartz, and I'm like, and I

366
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,280
Speaker 4: actually keep them because it's nice. It's a nice gesture.

367
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,919
Speaker 4: But my feeling is always like if these things have

368
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,360
Speaker 4: healing powers or whatever they have it's like we'll leave

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00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,680
Speaker 4: them in the ground for all of us.

370
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,680
Speaker 2: Like, I want to walk over this stuff all the time.

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00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:44,600
Speaker 7: The ground.

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00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,560
Speaker 1: Take that interesting.

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00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,600
Speaker 4: Tiger's eye is going to give you know, my children

374
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,040
Speaker 4: muscles one day. Then it's like, let me just walk

375
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,879
Speaker 4: over it on a hike. Why are you hoarding it

376
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,320
Speaker 4: and cleaning it and then selling it in the store

377
00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,440
Speaker 4: that smells smells like nog chomp, Like.

378
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 5: That's a nice way me.

379
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:07,440
Speaker 6: I say, don't give me your goddamn trash.

380
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:08,960
Speaker 5: Don't want it. I don't like.

381
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:10,919
Speaker 6: I did a show, a stand up show, and it

382
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:16,000
Speaker 6: was at like one of those healing crystally stores. You

383
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,080
Speaker 6: would do your set and afterwards the host would give

384
00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 6: you a crystal inspired by your set, you.

385
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,480
Speaker 1: Know, inspired by your set. What crystal did you get, honey?

386
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:27,159
Speaker 5: I got something for relieving negativity, you know, whatever it was.

387
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:33,800
Speaker 6: It was like you, but it was so small and

388
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,200
Speaker 6: like for me, I was like no, I just had

389
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 6: these little rocks like I like, you know, I'm maybe

390
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,119
Speaker 6: one of the geodes, maybe like the big ones, like

391
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,159
Speaker 6: the big ones you see like on a desk.

392
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:44,159
Speaker 5: I'm like, that's cool looking, that's pretty.

393
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,959
Speaker 6: But these little bits and pieces that look like you

394
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:51,080
Speaker 6: literally took some gravel and spray painted a silver Get

395
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,800
Speaker 6: that out of here.

396
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:56,560
Speaker 3: Just guys, just have kids, Guys, they just bring home

397
00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:00,879
Speaker 3: rocks constantly, have like that all over my house.

398
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 1: Oh are you guys ready for the next one?

399
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, banana story, Kurd.

400
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,280
Speaker 3: Now, Scottie, this is sad news for you and I,

401
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 3: I think, because we know we know this particular pig,

402
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:20,679
Speaker 3: husy feral pig that shot to international fame after drinking

403
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,680
Speaker 3: eighteen cans of beer starting a.

404
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:23,440
Speaker 1: Fight with a cow.

405
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 3: It wasn't chaos at an Australian campsite has died in.

406
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,640
Speaker 1: A car accident.

407
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:33,200
Speaker 3: Yeah wow, Now full disclosure for those for everyone who's

408
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,080
Speaker 3: not in Australia, everyone in Australia is probably very familiar

409
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:39,320
Speaker 3: with this pig. This is, of course a little little

410
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 3: This is seven years ago. This is from twenty thirteen,

411
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:46,160
Speaker 3: but still worth talking about because, as local authorities have confirmed,

412
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,560
Speaker 3: Swino which is his.

413
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:53,080
Speaker 2: Name, absolutely in high school was.

414
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:53,919
Speaker 1: Hit by a car.

415
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,920
Speaker 3: Scotty and I wrote a joke about this this guy,

416
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 3: which started a show that we we created.

417
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,680
Speaker 1: Do you remember that I was like the opening joke.

418
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 2: Yes, it was a good joke.

419
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 3: So last month This is last month in twenty thirteen,

420
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 3: the Borish porker.

421
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:11,399
Speaker 1: Thank you.

422
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 3: This is of course so this was sent in by

423
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:20,640
Speaker 3: listener Joline Brown. Thank you so much, Joline.

424
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,440
Speaker 5: Joline, Jolie.

425
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,040
Speaker 2: That's the perfect line.

426
00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:23,160
Speaker 5: You appreciated it.

427
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,520
Speaker 3: That is this is from QT and it is written,

428
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:31,720
Speaker 3: of course by John Hall, the famous John Hall. After

429
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:35,960
Speaker 3: the pig drank alcohol, so he busted into. Last month,

430
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 3: the borsh porker went on a drink drunken rampage at

431
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 3: the de Gray River campsite in Port Headland after stealing

432
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 3: and drinking three six packs of beer that had been

433
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:48,639
Speaker 3: left unguarded. What after the I can this This pig

434
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 3: is definitely Australian. Yes, And after the pig drank the alcohol,

435
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 3: events took it a somewhat predictable turn, with swino fighting

436
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 3: a starting a fight with a cow, demolishing nearby tents,

437
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,879
Speaker 3: and rubb spins in his hunt for a midnight snack,

438
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,840
Speaker 3: recklessly swimming into the middle of a river before eventually

439
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 3: collapsing asleep underneath a log. Yes, yes, uh, and so

440
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:15,159
Speaker 3: that's he became famous for doing that. And then he

441
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 3: just he just got hit by a car seven years ago.

442
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,119
Speaker 3: Was he sober when he got hit by a car.

443
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 1: You know what, there is a joke in here. Probably

444
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,879
Speaker 1: not there is probably not here. He is here, it is.

445
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:29,479
Speaker 3: Local authorities confirmed that Swino had recently been hit by

446
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 3: a passing vehicle in a remote stretch of the Northern

447
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,720
Speaker 3: Pillbara region of Western Australia, and he had been identified

448
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 3: by distinctive markings on the back of his ears. It

449
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 3: is not known if Swino had been drinking before the

450
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:41,440
Speaker 3: house boom.

451
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,120
Speaker 1: John Hall gets a zinger in.

452
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 4: I like to think he was. I like to think

453
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,000
Speaker 4: he went out, he went out on top. This guy

454
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 4: loves a drink. Yeah, he loves getting lost.

455
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He died as he lived.

456
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 6: I will say that because I lived in Australia from

457
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 6: two thousand and eight to two thousand and nine, like

458
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 6: a year but middle middle Yes, in Sydney, and I

459
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 6: remember distinctly, and I've never seen this anywhere else. They

460
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:11,719
Speaker 6: had a lot of ads about drunk walking, like a

461
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 6: Thinging in Australia was like like when you're drunk, pay attention.

462
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 5: It was like stick to the intersection.

463
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,920
Speaker 6: Because apparently people would get wasted, and especially I'd noticed

464
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,640
Speaker 6: it too in the countries because I would go because

465
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 6: I was in the city, and then of course, you know,

466
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,359
Speaker 6: I traveled around and I wanted to see all the stuff.

467
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 6: But especially in the country, it was like, you know,

468
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 6: they just get drunk and wander and it was like

469
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 6: stay stay in the lights, and it was stuff.

470
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,440
Speaker 5: Like that where I was like, okay, okay, y'all are

471
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 5: doing too much.

472
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 6: And I was like, oh, this is so real because

473
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,680
Speaker 6: I stayed in a place. There's a place there called

474
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 6: kuber Pety, which is where like Opal is mined, and

475
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 6: it's pretty much like a mining town. But most of

476
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 6: the reason why it's famous is obviously the Opal, but

477
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 6: also because it's so fucking hot in the middle of

478
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 6: the desert. Most of the homes are underground. Oh yes,

479
00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 6: So we like stayed in a hospital that was like

480
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 6: underground and like it was as prison like as you

481
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:06,479
Speaker 6: would think. I was like cool, but I feel very damp,

482
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,199
Speaker 6: but the whole thing. But they had a lot of

483
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,640
Speaker 6: size there because especially you know, again because most people

484
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 6: aren't even really above ground. So basically you could go

485
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,399
Speaker 6: to a pub, you go down right, and then you

486
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 6: might come back up to walk to your house and

487
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 6: go down.

488
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 3: But it's like what was above what was like above

489
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,239
Speaker 3: the ground? Was it just like a door and then

490
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:27,680
Speaker 3: it would just like you just go down.

491
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:29,919
Speaker 6: Sometimes you have a little bit of a door, but

492
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 6: then a lot more. If you're driving, you would just

493
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 6: see like smoke stacks is the wrong word, but pretty

494
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,680
Speaker 6: much where your exhaust would come out, like a long tube,

495
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,440
Speaker 6: which is basically where you know, the air, the dirt,

496
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:41,880
Speaker 6: the smoke or whatever's coming out.

497
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 5: So that's what you could see. And then of course there.

498
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 6: Were certain things that were above ground, like the touristy

499
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 6: stuff if you wanted to go, you know, buy your

500
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 6: opals and whatever. But a lot of people's houses were

501
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 6: under there, and so there was like a pub down there.

502
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 6: You know, people would drink, but then they would come

503
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,119
Speaker 6: up and you'd be d people would be like.

504
00:23:58,200 --> 00:23:59,919
Speaker 5: Wasted and it's empty.

505
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 6: And then because shit's underground, they were like fall into shit.

506
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:10,000
Speaker 6: People will walk and then like following walk drunk walking.

507
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 6: So I fully believe this pig was wasted. Then there's

508
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:15,879
Speaker 6: a pig, was like, is that a car? They can't

509
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 6: tell it's already a pig. It's already asking it too much.

510
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,400
Speaker 1: It's already asking it too much.

511
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 3: And I you know, I dated an Australian for two

512
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 3: years and it is the level of drinking.

513
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,400
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, blue blew me away.

514
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 3: And this is like someone coming from the New York

515
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 3: comedy scene, where like drinking was like you were just

516
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 3: drunk all the time. Like like living with an Australian

517
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 3: was like, oh my god, I have never in my

518
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 3: life seen that much drinking. And I was doing it too,

519
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:47,200
Speaker 3: I wasn't, you know, especially.

520
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,640
Speaker 2: Back then like we were. We were more beer drinkers

521
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 2: back then.

522
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,040
Speaker 4: It's actually probably we'd probably dead if we drank vodka

523
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 4: then the way that we do now. But remember that sign,

524
00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:59,359
Speaker 4: Kurt in the New York subway system. That was just

525
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 4: the girl out on the stairs. That was I have

526
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 4: a full joke about it. I have a whole joke

527
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 4: about it.

528
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 3: One less, two drinks, two drinks ago you could have

529
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 3: gotten home and then it was just a photograph of

530
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 3: a woman.

531
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 1: On the stairs going into the subway.

532
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 6: Oh my god, oh god, I remember that.

533
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 5: That ship was haunting.

534
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, even your joke.

535
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 4: Did you talk about the time that you fell asleep

536
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 4: on the subway and went to Coney Island?

537
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,439
Speaker 2: You did the f train twice? Was that?

538
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 1: Yes, the joke goes.

539
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,440
Speaker 3: The joke go's like like she falls asleep on the days,

540
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 3: like I love you New York City, Like New York

541
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 3: just wants you to stop two drinks before you randomly

542
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 3: fall asleep on a hard, irregular surface. But the joke,

543
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 3: but the sign would be better if it said two

544
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,679
Speaker 3: drinks ago, you could have gotten home. And then it

545
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 3: was like a series of photos of her, like waking

546
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 3: up at Coney Island and then waking up in Flushing, Queens,

547
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 3: and then her waking up in Coney Island again, and

548
00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 3: then her waking up at JFK, like how did she

549
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 3: and then her waking up by a flight to Belgium,

550
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,879
Speaker 3: like where did she get a passport from?

551
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,120
Speaker 1: She should have stopped two drinks ago.

552
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 6: I fell asleep on the trade was and I was

553
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 6: so grateful that no one killed me, do you know

554
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 6: what I mean? Like it was actually just the conductor,

555
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,679
Speaker 6: and I got because I lived up in Harlem, and

556
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,160
Speaker 6: I got lucky in that, in true in New York fashion,

557
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 6: and how trains always fuck up. It happened to be

558
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 6: stopping at one forty fifth and I lived at one

559
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 6: thirty fifth, so luckily I was off.

560
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,640
Speaker 5: The last stop. But at least I was only ten

561
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 5: blocks away.

562
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,159
Speaker 6: But the guy like nudge, he like literally too, He's like,

563
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 6: he's like, girl, he goes, girl, what you're doing?

564
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 1: He said?

565
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 5: And I was like and then I was like, oh true.

566
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,119
Speaker 5: And then and then I just got up and then

567
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 5: I just got a cab. I couldn't even walk.

568
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 6: The ten blocks, but I was like, yeah, well, at

569
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 6: least I wasn't in Brooklyn.

570
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 2: Oh dude.

571
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,119
Speaker 3: I mean, I remember the first time it ever happened

572
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,440
Speaker 3: to me. I had to go to work the next day.

573
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 3: Those was in my twenties and I had to go

574
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 3: to work the next half. Fell asleep on the F

575
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 3: train and ended up at Coney Island, and it was

576
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,920
Speaker 3: like four in the morning, and I was like, oh no,

577
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 3: and like it's just such.

578
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 1: A long time to wait for it to turn around.

579
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 2: Yes, turn out expurgatory.

580
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,119
Speaker 3: And then I fell asleep again and then missed my

581
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 3: stuff again, yes, opposite direction, and then I had to

582
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 3: get off at J Street Borough Hall and go back.

583
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 1: I mean, it was off. I had to get home

584
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 1: to like six in the morning. I had to be

585
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:21,120
Speaker 1: at work at eight.

586
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 2: That's what I remember.

587
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 4: I remember you telling me that story and like you

588
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 4: had gone almost all the way in both directions, which,

589
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:29,880
Speaker 4: for people that don't know, the F train I think

590
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 4: is the second longest line. It can take like an

591
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 4: hour and forty minutes just to go the length of it.

592
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,199
Speaker 4: But that's yeah, when you have to get off at

593
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 4: Coney Island and then just walk across the track or

594
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 4: stay on the train that can take it.

595
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:43,239
Speaker 2: It was.

596
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 4: It was remembers I've ever come to mental breakdowns. We're

597
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 4: waiting for the F train after three am twice.

598
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:49,920
Speaker 1: Yeah.

599
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:54,679
Speaker 4: But also, the greatest panhandler I ever saw in New

600
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 4: York was on the Red Line. I was up around

601
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,880
Speaker 4: Columbus Circle. It was pack train and this guy gets

602
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 4: on with his full sized saxophone, like a.

603
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 1: Huge one, a big, real big one.

604
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, not not like a cool subway saxophone.

605
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 2: And this dude steps into a train where we're all

606
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 2: packed in.

607
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,920
Speaker 4: I was a temp at the time, and we're all

608
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 4: packed in, just wanting to go home.

609
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 2: I had an hour train ride. And he goes, give.

610
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 4: Me five dollars and I'll stop playing, and then starts

611
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 4: playing the saxophone so badly and so loudly that people

612
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,880
Speaker 4: dug into their purses walk and I bet he got

613
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 4: twenty five dollars within ten seconds.

614
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 2: And then he got off and.

615
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 4: Then you heard him go train to train every stop

616
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 4: and as soon as he got the money stopped playing.

617
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 2: It just would go.

618
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 1: As soon as she was like, get five dollars, I'll

619
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 1: stop playing, and there was like.

620
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 2: It clearly did not even know.

621
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 1: I love it.

622
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 2: She held his ransom.

623
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 5: That's good.

624
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 4: We all kind of respected his madness. He probably made

625
00:28:56,280 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 4: five hundred dollars and ruin in your commute ten seconds.

626
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 1: And on that.

627
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 7: Let's take a quick break bananas.

628
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 1: And we're back. Scotty, you got one for me.

629
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 4: I do, and I bet you have this one too,

630
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 4: because this one. A lot of people sent this to

631
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 4: our Instagram. Thank you everybody. We have been get We

632
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 4: get like twenty a day from our listeners, and I

633
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 4: cannot tell.

634
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 2: You how it is.

635
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 3: We love reading all of your messages. Just thank you

636
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 3: so much. And if you want to go on and

637
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 3: rate and review the show, we're still a new show.

638
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 3: It does matter if you go and do that, please

639
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 3: do it. But my god, all of your messages and

640
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 3: everyone's sending stuff, it's amazing.

641
00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 1: Thank you.

642
00:29:58,280 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 2: It really helps us out.

643
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 4: And it's because it also gives us a taste of

644
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 4: what the group likes and this story. The first person

645
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 4: to send it to us was a Leena faith XO

646
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 4: on Instagram.

647
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 2: This one.

648
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 4: Let's go through this whole one because this has some stuff.

649
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 4: So the headline is pair hired for man's brooms, sexual

650
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 4: fantasy turn up in bedroom at wrong address with machetes.

651
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 1: I read this whole one and it's crazy.

652
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, what I said was yes, pair hired, Yes for

653
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 4: man's broom sexual fantasy turn rooms bedroom at the wrong

654
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 4: address with machetes.

655
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 3: Okay, first off sounds terrifying, but then when you hear

656
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 3: the details is very funny.

657
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 2: It is so excellent.

658
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 4: This was written by Richard Williams and I will find

659
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 4: out from what news source, but thank you Richard Williams.

660
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 4: So two men sneak into the bedroom of Machetes after

661
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 4: being hired to carry out a stranger's sexual fantasy of

662
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 4: being tied up in his underwear and stroked with a broom,

663
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 4: only to discover they went to the wrong address. So

664
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 4: we're in the old hometown of Sydney, Australia.

665
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 2: This is so so good.

666
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 3: The best part is the reason they went to the

667
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 3: wrong address is because the guy gave him the address,

668
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,960
Speaker 3: then moved, then didn't tell the people he had hired

669
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 3: yes to look out his sexual fantasy, that he had

670
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 3: changed addresses.

671
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 4: Yes, so there's there's so many steps. So this fantasy

672
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:47,680
Speaker 4: was going to be an unscripted thing. And the they

673
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 4: found each other over Facebook, and the arrangements were, uh,

674
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 4: they were.

675
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 1: Going to some sort of think.

676
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 4: Site exactly well these days, hey, it's all the same.

677
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 4: So he wanted a broom handle to be rubbed around

678
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 4: his underwear, and he wanted to be brushed with the

679
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 4: broom tied up and brushed with his broom he was.

680
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 1: He also wanted it to be a surprise.

681
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 4: He wanted them to shut up right. It was sort

682
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 4: of a break in fantasy. Okay, five thousand dollars is

683
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:21,719
Speaker 4: what he was going to pay if it was quote

684
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 4: really good. I mean, if these guys could really sweep

685
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 4: his chimney, it was going to be sweet, worth every penny.

686
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,040
Speaker 4: So he had made these arrangements to engage in this

687
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 4: role play. He sent his address before last Kurtcha said,

688
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 4: he later updated it and moved to a house thirty

689
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 4: miles away.

690
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 2: So, oh my god, so he's not maybe in the

691
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 2: same town.

692
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 4: The resident of the home where these two men mistakenly

693
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 4: turned up told police that they noticed a light was

694
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 4: on around six fifteen am. So this is going to

695
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 4: be morning, kink.

696
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 2: I love it absolutely. Now you want to live absolutely absolutely.

697
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 6: Stancy is inappropriate. You might be on your way to work.

698
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 6: I'm thinking you're gonna break in. Yes, you break in

699
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 6: between one and five. You got a four hour window. Yeah,

700
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 6: you're in bed.

701
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 5: You're in bed between one and five.

702
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 4: Safely, That's when I do all the cleaning around my

703
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 4: house anyways.

704
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 2: So yeah, sweep it up. I mean, it's whatever. Whatever,

705
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 2: warm breeze fills your tails.

706
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 4: So they show up to the home, they see the

707
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 4: lights on. These two guys break in, and he assumed

708
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 4: it was the guy that lives at the house. Just

709
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 4: assumed it was his friend who visits daily and they

710
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 4: have coffee together.

711
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 1: Check this out.

712
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 3: Just assumed that there was another man making coffee.

713
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:43,680
Speaker 1: That's the best part.

714
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 3: That someone just comes to your house every morning at

715
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 3: six fifteen am and uses your coffee machine.

716
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 4: I will I have a side story. I'll talk to

717
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 4: about it about a guy who just ship up to

718
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:58,720
Speaker 4: my house in college and make strawberry quick. The guy

719
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 4: in this house, the man who did not hire these people, yells,

720
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 4: bugger off. It's too early. Bugger off, Rocks, I love

721
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 4: her off.

722
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 2: It's funny.

723
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,400
Speaker 4: That means nothing here. You could say that to littlebo

724
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,359
Speaker 4: here buggers no, bugger off.

725
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 1: Oh, I see what you so.

726
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:18,319
Speaker 4: So these two guys who are not his friend making

727
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 4: coffee say, is your name Kevin?

728
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:24,359
Speaker 2: That is the.

729
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:27,720
Speaker 4: Funniest thing in the world to be uh, And he

730
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 4: looks out and sees two men he does not recognize

731
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 4: standing next to his bed, both holding machetes. The conversation

732
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 4: continues to establish whether or not he is Kevin. Each

733
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 4: time he responds no. This is my favorite line of

734
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 4: the whole article. At one point, one of them asks, quote,

735
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 4: are you sure you are not Kevin? As we were

736
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 4: told to come to this address and pick up Kevin.

737
00:34:56,080 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 4: So eventually they figure out this is not Kevin. They

738
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:03,800
Speaker 4: accept their error, say sorry mate, and while they're leaving,

739
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 4: the other one goes bye bye.

740
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 2: A mazor then calls the police.

741
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,879
Speaker 3: So, so, what hasn't been covered yet is the fact

742
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 3: that this guy hired people to sweep them with a

743
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 3: broom and these two guys exactly we know he loves brooms,

744
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,280
Speaker 3: But what if we knock it up to two machetes.

745
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 4: And what happens next just goes with what you said, Kurt.

746
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 4: So the two men and their driver sure eventually means.

747
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:42,320
Speaker 1: There's prosing quality.

748
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,880
Speaker 2: I know, yeah, I know, they yes, driving a hearse.

749
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 4: They eventually go to the right house, where the two

750
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 4: men step out of the car and the correct customer

751
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 4: spots one with a quote great big knife in his trousers.

752
00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 4: The customer says, do not bring the weapon inside, so

753
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 4: they leave them in the car. So these machetes, we're

754
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:05,359
Speaker 4: just totally them improvising.

755
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:06,720
Speaker 2: I mean, it's so exciting.

756
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 4: It's like this guy's gets he wants us to rub

757
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 4: a broomstick around his special purposes and then sweep him.

758
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 4: It's like, you know, it'd be really funny. Let's threaten

759
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 4: this guy with fucking machetes. Really get them revved up.

760
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 4: So they go inside. All three men enter the correct

761
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 4: properly property. The client begins cooking bacon eggs and noodles.

762
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 2: Classical Australian breakfast noodles.

763
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 1: I know, there's not even an Australian thing for that.

764
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,400
Speaker 1: That's I never heard of bacon eggs and noodles.

765
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:42,160
Speaker 2: After being asked to do so.

766
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 4: Also, so now the machete kink masters are also giving commands.

767
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 2: And then it falls asleep on the couch.

768
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 1: So where the guys fall asleep on the couch.

769
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:58,359
Speaker 4: The client fell asleep. So the guy who hired them

770
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 4: bakes some breakfast of bacon, eggs and noodles that classic trio,

771
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,320
Speaker 4: and then falls asleep on the couch.

772
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 1: Police see, probably because he's like, these guys are gonna

773
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 1: broom me. Yeah, I got to get ready for it, right.

774
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right, you're right. He thought he was going

775
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,479
Speaker 2: to get brooms. Yeah.

776
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 4: Police arrived at the property an hour later. Rest Leroy

777
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 4: and the other man. Those are the two guys with

778
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 4: the machetes who appeared in the encorrect bedroom. But there's

779
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 4: great noise, great newsxcuse me. The judge said that they

780
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:35,240
Speaker 4: basically with all the proof that he had no intention

781
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 4: to intimidate or hurt anyone, and his lawyer says it

782
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 4: was a commercial agreement to tie up and stroke a

783
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 4: semi naked man in his underpants with a broom entry

784
00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 4: was not with the intent to intimidate, which I guess

785
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 4: means harm over there. So they got off, they were

786
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 4: found not guilty and let go months later.

787
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 2: But god, this is this story just has it all.

788
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 1: It really does so insane.

789
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 6: I think, honestly I was I would or kink shame,

790
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 6: but I certainly will breakfast shame.

791
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 5: Bacon eggs and noodles. You're sick.

792
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 6: So they're like, I don't allow bacon, eggs and noodles.

793
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 5: You don't deserve any joy.

794
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 6: But then the idea that, okay, here's here's another thing

795
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 6: too though, Okay, the improvisation we've all called out insanity.

796
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 6: Now when you get to the right place with machetes,

797
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,319
Speaker 6: and I'm the guy, I'm imagine it's where I'm mention.

798
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 6: I imagine hearing someone pull up, you know, and then

799
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 6: just like looking out the window and then seeing machetes

800
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 6: because you can leave those there, and then those people

801
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:37,799
Speaker 6: then go okay, which automatically takes the fear and intimidation

802
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:39,360
Speaker 6: out of the whole scenario.

803
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 5: This is no longer like if what you wanted was

804
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 5: to be like, ooh, I'm in danger. I see why they.

805
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 6: Thought machetes might add a little layer. So if you

806
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 6: take that out and they listen to you, well, now

807
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,839
Speaker 6: you know you're in charge. You see what I'm saying,

808
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 6: and now you no longer have your central fantasy.

809
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 4: Yes, I mean maybe he was being submissive when he

810
00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 4: made them bacon, egg and noodles. But it's a shame,

811
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 4: I don't It doesn't say if they earned their five

812
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 4: thousand two. We don't know how good of a job

813
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 4: they did.

814
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 5: A sleepee for legal fees.

815
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,879
Speaker 2: Legal fees, right, we got to go fund these guys.

816
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 2: But I love it.

817
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 3: I think they I mean like they should teach improv

818
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 3: and they really just know how to build out a

819
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:23,880
Speaker 3: scene with some unexpected twists.

820
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 2: They commit, they're committed to it.

821
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, you're right, they committed. Also, I would have stopped

822
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 6: once I got to the rung house. I would have

823
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 6: been like, Okay, we tried, well.

824
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 1: Tried, let's get it. Let's let's book another date for this.

825
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 2: Facebook strikes again. Yeah I know, yeah, let's try again.

826
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,480
Speaker 2: That's right. I mean, they must really need that money.

827
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:43,920
Speaker 4: And then also, you got to put yourself in that

828
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 4: position where you go, hey, we've there's been times in

829
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 4: our lives where we all need five thousand dollars. Would

830
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:50,399
Speaker 4: you go over and tee somebody up and sweep them.

831
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 4: I'd make sure there was a digital paper trail, that's

832
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:54,720
Speaker 4: for sure, to make sure I got out of trouble.

833
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:59,440
Speaker 4: And it sounds like these guys did so, except the

834
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,880
Speaker 4: guy who needs to start locking his door and not

835
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 4: just letting Rando's come in to make coffee right, better

836
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:08,280
Speaker 4: better off rocks?

837
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:09,880
Speaker 5: And then then who moves?

838
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 6: Because I mean, how much time do you think had

839
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 6: to have happened had to pass between making this plan

840
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 6: and finding a new place.

841
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 1: To live and moving right, that's the craziest part that

842
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:19,840
Speaker 1: you wouldn't like.

843
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,440
Speaker 3: This seems to be a pretty big I think it's

844
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:26,960
Speaker 3: five thousand dollars and like a major accomplishment of a

845
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 3: sexual fantasy.

846
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 1: You would think that.

847
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 3: The moving would have been, would have been, would have

848
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 3: come up in the conversation that I'm not going to

849
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:36,880
Speaker 3: be at the right location.

850
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:39,239
Speaker 1: I love it so much, all right, you want it?

851
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 1: Ready for one more?

852
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 5: Here?

853
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 2: I cannot wait for you to drive me wild right now?

854
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 3: This is I want to thank Pirates and Puppies for

855
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:47,800
Speaker 3: sending this into our Instagram.

856
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:48,480
Speaker 2: Great name.

857
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:53,359
Speaker 3: Uh this is from Como News. I bet it's Komo News,

858
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 3: not Como News. Uh, this is by them, the Ko

859
00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 3: m O staff. Sure and this is of course for

860
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:06,799
Speaker 3: twenty sixteen. My apologies, but hey it Seattle Aquarium cancels

861
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:14,240
Speaker 3: Octopus sex Act due to cannibalism concerns. Oh okay, okay,

862
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 3: all right guys, Yes, the best. Yes, So it's got

863
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:23,399
Speaker 3: a lot of layers as well. So it starts off

864
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 3: with each Valentine's Day, the aquarium invites people to watch

865
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 3: the sea creatures mate, and this is the Seattle Aquarium.

866
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 3: Seattle Aquarium officials tell Como News that this year the

867
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 3: chance to watch some eight armed nookie has been called off.

868
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 1: So first off, before we get to the cannibalism concerns, Yes,

869
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:46,799
Speaker 1: what bring who.

870
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 5: Exactly? Exactly? Like, why is that a thing that anybody

871
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 5: would want to see? Kurt? You children? Would you take

872
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:59,720
Speaker 5: them to the aquarium to much eight armed nookie?

873
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 4: And more importantly, would you film it and send it

874
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 4: to me in high definition?

875
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:07,839
Speaker 2: Yeah?

876
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 1: What I mean?

877
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 3: Like, listen, we all know Octopi. I'm sticking with Octopi.

878
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 3: By the way, I was raised that it's Octopi. Now

879
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:21,480
Speaker 3: that octopuses is just fine. I'm shocked. I'm shocked, and

880
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 3: I'll always say Octopi. But I've look, we all know

881
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 3: that they're geniuses.

882
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:26,840
Speaker 5: Absolutely.

883
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, the jar and stuff they get.

884
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 3: Into jars, they've just escaped aquariums through like toilets and

885
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:43,320
Speaker 3: ship Maybe they fuck fantastic, Yeah, maybe have some really

886
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 3: creative ways to fuck. So maybe it's amazing. Yeah, but

887
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 3: it still seems weird to watch it. But I guess

888
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 3: that's what zoos are all about. Just put some wild

889
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 3: animals and watch them do everything. Yeah.

890
00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:58,279
Speaker 2: I don't know.

891
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 5: No, I don't know about this. You don't make it

892
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:03,720
Speaker 5: a special activity at the zoo. You usually watch whatever

893
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 5: baby results, right, and it'll be like watch it be born.

894
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 5: But you don't say, let's go watch these pandas do

895
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,400
Speaker 5: it and they're endangered. We don't want to watch that.

896
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be cheering very loudly for that. I'd be

897
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:15,560
Speaker 2: screaming at the top of my I'm like.

898
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:17,800
Speaker 1: Keep the species going.

899
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,880
Speaker 4: They're like that guy's been here every day for three years.

900
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 4: But I do, like I do like a zoo related

901
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 4: holiday stuff. And then I think it was in Baltimore.

902
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:33,800
Speaker 4: You used to be able to throw your pumpkins after

903
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 4: Halloween to the hippos and they would eat them in

904
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 4: like two chomps.

905
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:38,760
Speaker 5: That's cool.

906
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 4: The hippos started just shitting football size turds of wax

907
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 4: because people weren't cleaning the candles out enough, so they

908
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 4: stop doing it. Like it was hungry hungry hippos come

909
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 4: Like the hippos loved it.

910
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 2: They were like freaking pumpkins, but for safety concerns.

911
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 1: I say it every time hippos come up on this podcast.

912
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 3: The funniest looking animal, the most dangerous animal on planet Earth. Yeah,

913
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 3: people than sharks, lions, tigers, alligators combined.

914
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:15,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so many people.

915
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 4: I think it's like bees, dogs, and hippos. It's some

916
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 4: crazy number like that. Ye stay away from me anyways.

917
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 4: So what are these octopi?

918
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, the the the concern is that the male octopus,

919
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 3: a seventy pounds cephalopod named Kong, is too big for

920
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 3: the females, who are only thirty to forty pounds, and

921
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:41,720
Speaker 3: he may just eat them. Oh so, instead of mating,

922
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 3: Kang will be released back into the puget sound noon,

923
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 3: I had a wonderful life.

924
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

925
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:51,919
Speaker 1: Octopuses or octopi as I like, they only live about

926
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,319
Speaker 1: three or four years and mate once at the end

927
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 1: of their lives and then they die. So that's more

928
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:02,880
Speaker 1: fucked up? Is that the is like, come watch these octopuses.

929
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 1: Goddamn it. They got me saying, come watch these octopuses

930
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:07,919
Speaker 1: fuck and then die.

931
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,080
Speaker 5: That's how you teach children about a lot at once.

932
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 5: That is you know what I mean. That's one visit,

933
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 5: you cover all the bases.

934
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is what does that boy scouts patch look like?

935
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 1: Looks like sixteen arms.

936
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:33,440
Speaker 4: I do love an aquarium, Yeah, I do too, only

937
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:37,240
Speaker 4: for the animals that don't know they're there. Everything else,

938
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,319
Speaker 4: Like I did go to Sea World when I moved

939
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 4: out here, and I did see the shamoo and I

940
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:44,880
Speaker 4: was like this is so bad, Like this is just

941
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 4: criminally bad. So I'm team I'm team let them free,

942
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:49,480
Speaker 4: That's what I say.

943
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:50,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, let him swim.

944
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 5: I hear that.

945
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:54,880
Speaker 6: I love the aquarium though in the zoo, especially in

946
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 6: New I keep bring up New York, like I'm so

947
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 6: obsessed with it. But this idea in the middle of

948
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 6: a city, right, you can just like take the train

949
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,839
Speaker 6: and then go someplace magical, Like it feels much.

950
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 5: More magical, but it shouldn't be there.

951
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 6: It's kind of why I'm like, how are these animals

952
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 6: thriving below the two train and it's like that is

953
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,799
Speaker 6: super cool. But then also the aquarium, they would always

954
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:14,359
Speaker 6: let you you could. I have so many pictures from

955
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 6: when I was a kid, like holding starfish. You know,

956
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:18,399
Speaker 6: they had their little tank and they're like, the kids

957
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 6: can come over here, and I'm like, then I thought

958
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 6: about it as I got older. Yes, these starfish, these

959
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 6: starfish whose lives were just being in children's hands.

960
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:32,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, I worry. That feels a little sad to me,

961
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 5: a little wrong to me.

962
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 3: But think about a starfish's normal life, which is just

963
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:39,880
Speaker 3: along the bottom of the ocean.

964
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:42,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, so this might have been a little more, a

965
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 5: little more activity, a.

966
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,359
Speaker 1: Little more action, a little more.

967
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,919
Speaker 3: But I mean, who knows really, But it does seem

968
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 3: like starfish are definitely not thinking too much about.

969
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 5: It, not the way octopuses are. Not the way octopuses are, Like.

970
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 2: Fuck you.

971
00:46:56,960 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 3: The octopus seems like to have a brain. They now

972
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:03,799
Speaker 3: think that there's actually brain cells in their tentacles. Yeah, right,

973
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:07,560
Speaker 3: so the brain actually extends out from their the whatever

974
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:11,799
Speaker 3: their I don't know if they have a sub cerebrum.

975
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:11,840
Speaker 1: I don't know.

976
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:13,359
Speaker 2: I don't know who cares.

977
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:16,360
Speaker 3: Sure, I think the brain cells that like actually extend

978
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:19,120
Speaker 3: out on all of their limbs, which is insane.

979
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:20,880
Speaker 1: It actually made me stop eating.

980
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,839
Speaker 4: I don't eat off the pie anymore. No, I think

981
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 4: they're too intelligent and like, give me the dumb ones,

982
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 4: you know, give.

983
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:28,759
Speaker 5: Me the dumb ones. Yeah, I've never had them. I

984
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:30,719
Speaker 5: think that's also so wild. I didn't realize they didn't

985
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 5: live that long. But if you think about it, to.

986
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 6: Be that smart, maybe they're like, honey, I'm done. I'm overwhelmed,

987
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:37,520
Speaker 6: you know what I mean, Like they know too much

988
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 6: and they're like, I don't need to be here long.

989
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 5: I don't need to be here long.

990
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:40,799
Speaker 2: I'm out.

991
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:45,160
Speaker 1: Oh, man, do you have our last story?

992
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 2: Scotti?

993
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 4: I do, And this one is a gem. I think

994
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 4: we're all going to enjoy this one. This was sent

995
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 4: to us by listener Vanessa Black in Austin, Texas. It's

996
00:47:56,080 --> 00:48:01,640
Speaker 4: from the Cox Media Group National Content desk inebriated, passed

997
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 4: out man rescued after floating seven miles down the river

998
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:05,439
Speaker 4: on a raft.

999
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:10,319
Speaker 2: What I mean, seven miles, that's right.

1000
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:13,759
Speaker 1: Seven miles is very far and that takes a long time,

1001
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:15,480
Speaker 1: that's right.

1002
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 4: So in Crawford County, Indiana, Indiana, I got a bike stolen.

1003
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 4: There Once an inebriated man passed out on a raft

1004
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 4: and floated seven miles down an Indiana river before he

1005
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:31,680
Speaker 4: was rescued by authorities, which isn't actually true. I found

1006
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 4: the story a few different places. As he approached a dam,

1007
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:40,360
Speaker 4: the man, who has not been identified, his family and

1008
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 4: the neighbors probably know, was passed out with a bottle

1009
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 4: of rum on his lap.

1010
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:46,320
Speaker 2: Awesome.

1011
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 4: The Department of Natural Resource officers first found the man

1012
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:52,880
Speaker 4: floating by. There is a photo we'll put it up

1013
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,279
Speaker 4: of him passed out on a raft, not like a

1014
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 4: boat raft, like a pool raft that you would recline on,

1015
00:48:59,440 --> 00:48:59,680
Speaker 4: just like a.

1016
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 2: Floating, floating, floating pool raft.

1017
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:05,719
Speaker 5: So he like broke out of a pool onto a river.

1018
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 5: That's what it feels like.

1019
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 3: That if it was like an above ground pool on

1020
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,239
Speaker 3: those flexible side ones and.

1021
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 1: He just got drunk broken and then just floated down.

1022
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 2: Into a river.

1023
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:20,719
Speaker 4: That's like America's funniest on video Season one goals that

1024
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:23,839
Speaker 4: would like they always had pools.

1025
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 2: Breaking are hilarious.

1026
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 1: It's really funny.

1027
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:28,399
Speaker 4: So the Department of Natural Resource officers see the man

1028
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 4: floating by, but were unable to awaken him when they

1029
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:34,920
Speaker 4: shouted and blew whistles from an embankment along the Blue River.

1030
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 4: Officers later used a boat and set up a tagline

1031
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 4: in order to stop the man from going over the

1032
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 4: Milltown Dam. However, the man had washed up ashore a

1033
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 4: few miles before the dail. This is almost like it's

1034
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 4: almost like Dandy deck chair or whatever that thing is

1035
00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 4: where the guy floated through the air with all the

1036
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 4: hot air balloons or the weather balloons.

1037
00:49:59,160 --> 00:49:59,879
Speaker 2: But like this guy.

1038
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:03,880
Speaker 4: The authorities found the man. He had a medical evaluation.

1039
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 4: He was arrested, but they don't know if he was

1040
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:09,320
Speaker 4: charged or not. But he was just I think he

1041
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,879
Speaker 4: got charged for something, just like public drunkenness or something.

1042
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 3: But I love that it worked itself out without anyone

1043
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:17,280
Speaker 3: actually getting involved.

1044
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:20,719
Speaker 1: Yes, he's like the luckiest piece of shit. Yes, Earth,

1045
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:22,400
Speaker 1: I don't.

1046
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 6: Think you should have been arrested. I'm like what I

1047
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,160
Speaker 6: was like, he doesn't I mean literally the definition of

1048
00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:28,120
Speaker 6: hurting no one, you know what I mean. Like he

1049
00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:29,879
Speaker 6: couldn't move, he was doing nothing.

1050
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 5: I'm like, Okay, you won't.

1051
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 2: Go let him go.

1052
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:33,400
Speaker 1: He took a nap in a weird place.

1053
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:38,760
Speaker 4: And if you are a Department of Natural Resources officer

1054
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,440
Speaker 4: in Crawford County, Indiana, and you get the call that

1055
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:45,200
Speaker 4: you get to rescue a passed out man. They get

1056
00:50:45,239 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 4: in the boat, they get ropes out, like that is

1057
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:51,120
Speaker 4: the highlight of your career. That is just like we

1058
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:54,440
Speaker 4: get to lasso somebody and pull them from the middletown.

1059
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:58,800
Speaker 2: Dan. Also, I think it's really important that it's rum.

1060
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 4: If you to our listeners out there who are like eighteen,

1061
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 4: nineteen twenty and about to enter bar culture in the

1062
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:08,640
Speaker 4: United States, if you are next to an adult who order,

1063
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:12,319
Speaker 4: especially an adult man who orders a rum drink, move

1064
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:13,000
Speaker 4: away from that.

1065
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:18,280
Speaker 1: Person is a sailor or a pirate, yeah.

1066
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 4: Or like three time divorce guy that just can't leave

1067
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:27,400
Speaker 4: Margarita Ville in his mind. Rum drunk is the weirdest drunk.

1068
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 4: That's why it's so popular for tourists in the Caribbean.

1069
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 4: Rum drunk makes you silly. It gives you energy because

1070
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:33,279
Speaker 4: it's so.

1071
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 2: Sugary, and then your hangover is so brutal. It's like

1072
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:38,800
Speaker 2: you just brutal hang it.

1073
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:42,359
Speaker 4: It's like you bash your head into the coral. Rum

1074
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:45,160
Speaker 4: drunk is also like when you're when you have a

1075
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:47,080
Speaker 4: fake id and you don't know what to order in

1076
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:48,440
Speaker 4: your kid, You just get like a rum.

1077
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:49,280
Speaker 5: And crumbing coke.

1078
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 2: Yes, that's a go to.

1079
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 5: You're like, that's an alcohol, isn't it.

1080
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:56,640
Speaker 4: Yes, And every bartender, any of us who have ever bartended,

1081
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:58,880
Speaker 4: like when a close to underage person orders like a

1082
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:01,879
Speaker 4: rum and diet or rumming coke or Captain and coke specifically,

1083
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:05,040
Speaker 4: you're just like, all right, I know you're nineteen.

1084
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 2: I'll let you slide.

1085
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 4: But but I tried a Captain and Coke last year

1086
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 4: for the first time in probably fifteen years, and I'm like,

1087
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 4: this is ridiculous.

1088
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:15,840
Speaker 2: Who can do this?

1089
00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:19,799
Speaker 3: My wife ordered when she was underage. My wife ordered

1090
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 3: a Staten Island iced tea.

1091
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:24,160
Speaker 2: There you go, she that Island.

1092
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 1: Oh blessless boy.

1093
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:32,000
Speaker 3: That's like the best miss like the best underage misorder

1094
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:32,440
Speaker 3: I've ever.

1095
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 2: We gotta figure out what that is though. We got

1096
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:35,680
Speaker 2: to invent that.

1097
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:38,400
Speaker 4: I only wanted exclusively drink Staaten Islands from now it's

1098
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:40,480
Speaker 4: mostly Creme dement I'm assuming.

1099
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:44,320
Speaker 5: No mixer. It's like, no mixer whatsoever.

1100
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 4: It's marin aosauce whatever Wu Tang liked, and then Creme dement.

1101
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 2: Rum drunk on a raft for seven miles.

1102
00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:58,520
Speaker 5: What is that like six hours?

1103
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:01,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, it depends.

1104
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:03,400
Speaker 1: I mean it depends on how big the river is.

1105
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:06,880
Speaker 4: But goddamn and as opposed to Jenna Evans who swallowed

1106
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 4: her ring, like, how good were this guy's dreams? Like?

1107
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:13,359
Speaker 2: How well do you sleep and dream floating on a river?

1108
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:14,280
Speaker 2: Rum trunk?

1109
00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 7: Oh?

1110
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 2: I envy him.

1111
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:17,720
Speaker 5: He must have been some burned.

1112
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 6: I'm assuming he's Caucasian and sunburned, which something just like

1113
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:26,719
Speaker 6: cover like just like like a scaly patch of a male.

1114
00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:28,719
Speaker 1: You know what with his luck?

1115
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:32,320
Speaker 3: I bet you he fell as he passed out around

1116
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:36,680
Speaker 3: dusk and then reached himself right at sunrise, woke up

1117
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:38,400
Speaker 3: feeling perfectly refreshed.

1118
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:39,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, just walked home.

1119
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 4: Yes, think of the birds, think of the deer and

1120
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:46,239
Speaker 4: the bear, Think of the animals that looked out into

1121
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 4: the river and saw.

1122
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:51,320
Speaker 2: Him floating by it. It was a big day in

1123
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:52,240
Speaker 2: Crawford County.

1124
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:54,960
Speaker 1: This we always have a good river one river.

1125
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:56,760
Speaker 2: Rivers are funny.

1126
00:53:56,960 --> 00:54:00,640
Speaker 4: Rivers used to be transportation, now the recreation, and it's

1127
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 4: usually drunk people getting hurt.

1128
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:05,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's the hook fin I want to read. You know,

1129
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:08,799
Speaker 5: it's those two just drug.

1130
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 2: That's go so good to me.

1131
00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:15,120
Speaker 3: Well, we've done it, guys, we want to get it.

1132
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:18,360
Speaker 3: We're at the end of another episode. Naomi, thank you

1133
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:19,920
Speaker 3: so much for being a guest.

1134
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:22,359
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me. That was good for the soul.

1135
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:23,359
Speaker 5: That was a good time.

1136
00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 1: It's a fun one, right, Yeah, some dumb stuff, you know.

1137
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:34,760
Speaker 3: Again, everybody should listen to Couples Therapy, Fantastic Podcast, anything

1138
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:37,279
Speaker 3: else you want to plug before we end this thing.

1139
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:40,439
Speaker 5: Everyone, we're doing our best.

1140
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:44,520
Speaker 1: That's doing our best, guys, Wash your hands.

1141
00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 2: Face, brush your teeth. Thank you to our producer Katie Levine.

1142
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,799
Speaker 2: Thank you, Georgie and Karen and exactly right.

1143
00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:55,440
Speaker 3: Thank you to every single listener. You guys are like,

1144
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:57,839
Speaker 3: it's very overwhelming. It's a pure joy to see all

1145
00:54:57,880 --> 00:54:58,440
Speaker 3: your messages.

1146
00:54:58,480 --> 00:54:59,359
Speaker 1: So thank you so much.

1147
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:01,680
Speaker 4: And for all of you who have been asking to

1148
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:05,920
Speaker 4: hear or find our theme song. We're gonna be releasing

1149
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,839
Speaker 4: that doggy soon, so just hold on tight. It's coming out.

1150
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 4: Kihanah Madi wrote it and I think that's it for bananas.

1151
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 4: What do you say, Kurt Bananas?

1152
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:16,440
Speaker 2: Bananas?

1153
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 4: This has been an exactly right production, produced and engineered

1154
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:26,839
Speaker 4: by Katie Levine.

1155
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:29,720
Speaker 1: Theme song by Kaihana Madi and all.

1156
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 2: Of Our artwork is done by Travis Millard.

1157
00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:35,320
Speaker 3: So please follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast

1158
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:37,440
Speaker 3: where we post so many more stories and make it

1159
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:38,560
Speaker 3: here and you.

1160
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:41,360
Speaker 4: Can share with us your strange news story by dming

1161
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:43,560
Speaker 4: us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast.

1162
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 3: So listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on

1163
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 3: Apple podcast, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts.

1164
00:55:50,000 --> 00:56:03,399
Speaker 2: Bananas Bananas prother put there, a Stagy Pudnis put there

1165
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:07,720
Speaker 2: and there trolling, but there are stabby Pudnnis, but better

1166
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:10,120
Speaker 1: Prep