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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that just opened an exclusive orphanage

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Speaker 1: reserved only for Chinese redheads.

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Speaker 2: What it's amazing, still looking for one?

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Speaker 1: Okay, but the fourteen thousand square foot building has all

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Speaker 1: bedrooms available, is ready, and the seventy hired staff can't

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Speaker 1: wait to get started.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: It's Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news.

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Speaker 1: Stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except

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Speaker 1: we've got a laser. Yes, those other follicle fanatics just don't.

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Speaker 1: This first laser story is out of the United Kingdom. Oh,

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Speaker 1: people have made dying wishes for others to attend or

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Speaker 1: be banned from their funerals.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, by dying wishes for Kim Kardashian to attend

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Speaker 2: my funeral. That's totally fair.

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Speaker 3: I actually didn't see that kind of That was kind

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Speaker 3: of out of left field for me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I wouldn't have inted. This is a fascinating invite.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: Sixty eight year old woman in Britain passed away recently

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Speaker 1: and her funeral was held last month. After everyone sat

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Speaker 1: down for the service, the double doors opened up from

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Speaker 1: the back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and never believe who showed up? No way?

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Speaker 3: Wait, how do you know, why are you so excited?

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Speaker 2: Because use your imagination? Everybody. Come on, No, it wasn't herself.

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Speaker 2: It was the Grim Reaper. What that is so dark?

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Speaker 2: Does she have the world's darkest humor? I'm not seriously.

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Speaker 1: The woman's dying wish was to have a friend show

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Speaker 1: up to the funeral dressed as the Reaper and then point.

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Speaker 2: To people around the room saying, your.

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Speaker 1: Next, we need this woman on our show.

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Speaker 2: It's too late.

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Speaker 3: One of those things where it sounds good, but then

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Speaker 3: when the actual event happens, what friend is going to

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Speaker 3: follow through? You're gonna be.

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Speaker 2: Crying time, my sister. And it's not like this woman

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Speaker 2: was ninety, she was sixty eight. It was meant to

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Speaker 2: be funny, not terrifying.

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Speaker 1: So the family did have to pre warn every well

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Speaker 1: by putting a tiny note in their program for everyone

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Speaker 1: to see.

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Speaker 2: Imagine the kids that don't know.

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Speaker 1: Well, as you can imagine, not everybody read the program.

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Speaker 1: So some people were completely stunned and they left because

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Speaker 1: of it, or the thought that was the real Grim Reaper,

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Speaker 1: and they're like, I have to get out of here.

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Speaker 1: The woman's daughter told the BBC quote, my mom would

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Speaker 1: be absolutely loving the attention her.

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Speaker 2: Funeral was getting Now it just showcases her personality and

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Speaker 2: quirky sense of humor.

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Speaker 3: Remember the story a long time ago about the woman

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Speaker 3: who's dying wish was to have someone in a trench

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Speaker 3: coat stand in the back of their funeral, And just

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Speaker 3: as like a mystery person, I think about that person often.

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Speaker 1: Let's go to your next Lazer story out of Sacramento.

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Speaker 1: A ups driver walked up to a house the other day,

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Speaker 1: made his way onto the porch to get to the

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Speaker 1: front door, and the porch was pretty much empty except

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Speaker 1: for the welcome matt and one loan trash bag off

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Speaker 1: to the side. But when the driver dropped off the package, shockingly,

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Speaker 1: the ring doorbell record the trash bag sliding over to it,

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Speaker 1: then grabbing it and walking away.

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Speaker 3: Technologies even the trash bags are still in our packages.

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Speaker 2: Apparently to the homeowner.

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Speaker 1: Omar Munio's was in disbelief and shared the doorbell security

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Speaker 1: footage of the thief waddling up to his porch underneath

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Speaker 1: a tied garbage bag, then leaving after the drop off.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, so extra to make that happen elaborate.

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Speaker 1: Omar said he was angry at first then he thought

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Speaker 1: maybe it was a prank, but now he just finds

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Speaker 1: it funny.

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Speaker 3: Okay, he went threw a lot of emotions with that

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Speaker 3: trash bag, didn't he.

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Speaker 1: He says he's not filing a police report because the

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Speaker 1: police have more important things to do and it just

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Speaker 1: isn't worth the hassle. As for the package, apparently it

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Speaker 1: really wasn't that valuable. It just contained a couple of

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Speaker 1: phone chargers that cost ten bucks.

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Speaker 3: Okay, they're all going to go to the trash in

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Speaker 3: about two weeks.

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Speaker 1: He just reordered them and has this to say to

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Speaker 1: the thief, quote, that was a good one. And he

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Speaker 1: warns everybody out there to be on the lookout for

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Speaker 1: moving trash bags.

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Speaker 2: All right, just kick it, kick a trash bag, just

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Speaker 2: to be safe.

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Speaker 1: This story is out of vac Central. If you ever

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Speaker 1: wanted to know what it was like to vacation like

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Speaker 1: James Bond, well this could be your ticket because Princess

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Speaker 1: Cruises has a new one billion dollar ship called the

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Speaker 1: Sun Princess, and they're wondering what you think of its

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Speaker 1: onboard casino.

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Speaker 2: That'd be fun.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So James Bond or someone with a gambling problem

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Speaker 3: interested in this.

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Speaker 1: That's why they're offering one person and a guest to

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Speaker 1: get all dressed up for an all expenses paid, one

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Speaker 1: week cruise to test the casino and report back about

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Speaker 1: your experience. The thing that's scary about cruise casinos is like,

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Speaker 1: you can't get away that far because if you're losing

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Speaker 1: and you're trying to.

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Speaker 3: Get quit, Yeah, you can't walk away.

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Speaker 2: I get it.

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Speaker 3: No, you're trying to like pull one over it read

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Speaker 3: some cards.

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Speaker 1: I could see myself losing one hundred bucks on a

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Speaker 1: slot and going, darn it walking away for thirty minutes.

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Speaker 2: I mean like I can still hear the slot machine.

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Speaker 1: I can also see you sliding like a couple of

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Speaker 1: chips into your jacket pocket. Though, in addition to free

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Speaker 1: food and drinks, you'll also get a five hundred dollars

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Speaker 1: stipend to spend there, along with an additional five hundred

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Speaker 1: bucks for a cruise allowance. I put immediately, Yeah, black,

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Speaker 1: let's go.

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Speaker 2: Oh I lost it. Yeah, just casino sucks.

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Speaker 1: In exchange, they want you to rate the casino on

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Speaker 1: a scale of zero to ten based on criteria like

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Speaker 1: game variety, betting limits, atmosphere, staff, food and drinks.

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Speaker 2: And customer service. Are they prepared if they get a zero?

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Speaker 2: I mean, do they really allow you to do that

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Speaker 2: after they give you all that free stuff? Yeah, they'll

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Speaker 2: burn down the billion dollar boat. Scratch that one bow.

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Speaker 1: They also say if you happen to blow the entire

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Speaker 1: five hundred dollars on your first night there.

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Speaker 2: But you still want to gamble, that's kind of up

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Speaker 2: to you about with that.

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Speaker 1: You can't apply from now through the end of the

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Speaker 1: month and to go. The link will be up on

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Speaker 1: the Brook and Jeffrey insta stories. You do need to

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Speaker 1: be able to take a cruise in October or November.

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Speaker 3: Okay. I do feel like your rating is going to

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Speaker 3: be directly linked to how much money you win.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah.

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Speaker 1: This next Lazer story is out of celebrity stories. Shaquille

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Speaker 1: O'Neill won a gold medal at the nineteen ninety six

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Speaker 1: Olympics in Atlanta, and he just shared a story about

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Speaker 1: it on a podcast that's going viral.

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Speaker 2: Oh really wow.

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Speaker 3: About the dream Team.

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Speaker 1: Apparently before the gold medal game, the USA basketball coach

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Speaker 1: told Shaq that another legendary center, David Robinson, he was

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Speaker 1: going to be getting more playing time because it was

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Speaker 1: probably going to be.

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Speaker 2: His last game.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, so Shaq was cool with that until he

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Speaker 1: only ended up playing the last two minutes of the game.

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Speaker 2: He was not okay with that, He.

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Speaker 1: Says, quote, I was so pissed off after the ceremony,

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Speaker 1: I drove home in my uniform and I threw the

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Speaker 1: gosh darn gold medal out the win.

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Speaker 2: Gold medal.

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Speaker 3: Are you serious?

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Speaker 2: Baby?

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Speaker 1: He also claims he never went back for it, and

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Speaker 1: as far as he knows, it's never been found.

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Speaker 3: Ye. Now, that is the next premise for Indiana Jones,

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Speaker 3: the hone for Shaquille O'Neills gold medes.

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Speaker 1: The Shack say he doesn't regret it, but because of

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Speaker 1: the podcast, now amateur sleuths are trying to pinpoint on

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Speaker 1: a map where Shack's gold medal could be.

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Speaker 2: I also throw a three NBA championship.

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Speaker 1: If you want to try and find it, You've got

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Speaker 1: about four hundred and thirty miles worth of searching ahead

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Speaker 1: of you. Because he was driving home from Atlanta to Orlando,

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Speaker 1: where he lived at the time.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well, I mean it's not gonna be the most

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Speaker 3: scenic area.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, speaking of new mysteries, this guy just dropped his

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Speaker 1: first detective book. It's called The Slow and Steady Sleuth

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Speaker 1: Adventures of Humper and his Assistant in Spector Shelley.

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Speaker 2: So Good vlable now on pre order. That how means

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Speaker 2: Lazer storye has come to an end for the day.

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Speaker 2: We'll do it again, same time on Wednesday

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Speaker 3: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,