WEBVTT - Civic Cipher 011522 I'm Not Racist...I Have a Black Friend! 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:00.920 And now. 0:00:02.920 --> 0:00:08.600 Watch with my mic back you're like that you can strike. 0:00:09.840 --> 0:00:13.079 Waters from headquarters behind him to be line side in 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:13.600 the borders. 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:15.920 If you're just tuning into Civic Cipher. I'm the host. 0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:18.959 Fans this jock go by the name with Q word 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:23.400 most of the time. Once upon a time there was 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:26.880 a DJ on the front of there. Sometime my mom 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:31.240 substitutes a ward for dirty Q. Dirty is a whole 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:33.280 different name that I'll explain to you guys at some 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:34.120 point in the future. 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:38.519 Well, uh, we are the Dynamic Duo and we got 0:00:38.520 --> 0:00:40.080 a lot more show for you, so be sure to 0:00:40.120 --> 0:00:44.360 stick around because, uh, we're going to discuss the statement 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:48.000 I'm not racist. I have a black friend. We're also 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:50.960 going to talk about the origins of yoga, the true 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:52.240 origins of yoga. 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:54.520 And uh. 0:00:56.360 --> 0:00:58.080 Give our thoughts on that because I think that this 0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:00.160 is a beautiful thing. It's it's kind of a a 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:03.400 nation of things, not just one. And then it went there, 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:06.480 someone took something. It's just we're all in this together 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:09.440 and I like that. But first we're going to discuss 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:18.320 how to become a better ally and so this comes 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:23.759 from The Guardian and for this we're going to shout 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:31.520 out our friends from across the pond. So now people 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:36.200 who post racist abuse online could be banned from attending 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:41.440 football matches in England. We'll call it soccer from football 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:44.039 matches in England and Wales for up to ten years. 0:01:44.680 --> 0:01:50.760 Pret Patel has said, so real quick. This is the 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:55.200 Home Secretary right, that's a title of a position order. 0:01:55.480 --> 0:01:59.720 But for those that don't know, for our non black listeners, 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:02.640 because I'm sure our black listeners probably will aware of this. 0:02:03.200 --> 0:02:05.560 A lot of times if there are black players playing 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:10.000 soccer in big matches over there, people will throw like 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:13.240 banana peels on the field to suggest that the black 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:17.040 players are monkeys. They will do racist taunts, they will 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:19.160 do all kinds of really offensive things, and then of 0:02:19.200 --> 0:02:23.639 course post racist stuff online. I'll continue pretty Patao. The 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:30.520 Home Secretary is reportedly bringing forward legislation so football banning orders, 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:33.639 which can be imposed on those convicted of violence, disorder 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:37.400 and racist or homophobic chanting, can be expanded to include 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:41.600 online hate defenses. And there's a quote racism is unacceptable 0:02:41.639 --> 0:02:43.840 and for too long football has been marred by this 0:02:44.000 --> 0:02:48.160 shameful prejudice. Fatela said. Those responsible for racist abused online 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:51.000 must be punished. The changes to the law I'm announcing 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:54.040 will make sure they are banned from attending football matches. 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:58.320 It's not everything, but it's not nothing. And we like that. 0:02:58.680 --> 0:03:02.519 We like anybody that that aspires to become a better 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:07.079 ally and we think that Prete Patel and all those 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:11.000 who are supporting this legislation are doing just that, and 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:14.720 we're hoping that we inspire people to do that here 0:03:14.960 --> 0:03:17.800 as well. So that is how accountability. 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:22.959 It's very important. Absolutely, That's that's what I have to 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:23.720 say about that. 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:28.560 Well, all right, So now this is one that we 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:32.000 we've talked around it for a long time Q and I, 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:36.560 but we haven't talked about it on the show. You know, 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:46.520 the person they say something that is upsetting everyone growns. 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:52.680 Usually this person is white, and this person is around 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:57.160 other white folks, and we recognize that a good number 0:03:57.160 --> 0:04:01.119 of our listeners are white, you know. But they'll say 0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:08.840 something and misread the room or whatever, and it just 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:13.000 doesn't land. It's something racially based or something like that, right, 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:17.120 and then everyone looks at them like, oh, did you 0:04:17.240 --> 0:04:18.760 just say that or did you just do that? Or 0:04:19.200 --> 0:04:22.719 is this real? And they will say, oh my god, 0:04:22.760 --> 0:04:24.960 I didn't mean that I'm not racist. I have a 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:28.440 black friend. Right, we all know who this person is. 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:31.600 It might have even have been you, right, And it's 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:35.200 cool I have a black friend, at least one. 0:04:35.440 --> 0:04:35.560 Right. 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:42.080 You've got a couple of those two, Okay. So so 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:46.160 we need to talk about this because it is possible 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:51.200 to be racist and have a black friend. Many people 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:57.080 harbor racist ideas and exhibit racist behavior despite growing up 0:04:57.560 --> 0:05:03.600 in racially diverse environ mens. I think it's Her name 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:11.400 is Jane Elliott. She's a teacher, but like the biggest baba, 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:19.599 the biggest like ally and champion of equality and fairness 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:26.400 and equity that I've seen in the education system, at 0:05:26.480 --> 0:05:31.839 least in my lifetime. She's an older white woman. She's 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:35.640 famous for doing the brown eyed versus blue eyed study 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:39.920 as a metaphor for racism. You know, you can't born 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:42.760 you can't you're born with your color eyes, and people 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:44.560 with this color eyes get to do this, and people 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:47.000 with that color eyes, you know, thirty percent of you 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:48.720 have to stay here and you know that sort of thing, 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:54.320 and then has dedicated her life to other experiments and 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:59.720 speaking in that way, she says something that I believe 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:03.320 is Mary potent in relevant to what we're talking about 0:06:03.400 --> 0:06:08.840 right here. She says, if you're white in America and 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:12.920 you are not racist, then you haven't been paying attention. 0:06:13.080 --> 0:06:16.960 I believe that's almost an exact quote from her, and 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:19.720 I know what she's saying. She she, I mean, you 0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:21.640 could look at look this up. I forgive me. I 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:24.680 didn't you know, I didn't know that I would think 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:27.640 of her in this moment, but so I didn't prepare 0:06:27.960 --> 0:06:30.800 any of her words. But she, I know that. She 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:42.039 explains that this country, this is built in your likeness, 0:06:42.200 --> 0:06:45.360 in your image. When you look around and you see 0:06:45.560 --> 0:06:49.520 what when I say police officer, a white man just 0:06:49.600 --> 0:06:52.280 popped in your head. When I say judge, same thing 0:06:52.360 --> 0:06:54.320 when I say doctor, you know, blah blah, you know, 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:57.200 on and on and on. Right, when I see when 0:06:57.240 --> 0:07:01.400 I say a model in a shampoo commercial, guess what 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:04.400 kind of hair she has? In your mind, it's not 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:06.800 my hair. It's not that my son's hair, it's not 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:10.040 my sister's hair. It's the hair that you thought of. 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:12.200 And you know, you know exactly what I mean, right, 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:15.920 And she and these are the points that she's illustrating 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:18.560 in her talk. I have to find it and share 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:20.680 it with you, or we'll share it on social media, 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:23.200 or you can you know, look it up yourself. Again. 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:30.600 Her name is Jane Elliot, I believe. But it's things 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:36.320 like that that position or maybe position is not the 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:44.720 right word, but frame the world around it's it's white, 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:49.600 male centric, at least in this country. You know, I 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:52.240 could make an argument that it's that way across the world, 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:54.320 but you know, we're talking about the US, and so 0:07:54.440 --> 0:08:00.240 then we'll keep it here, and has established that as 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:03.400 the platonic ideal. Right, this is just kind of like 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:07.080 I said, when you think of the police officer, who 0:08:07.160 --> 0:08:09.560 does that person look like? And you're not wrong. I 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:12.280 think it's sixty percent of police officers are white men, 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:17.920 not white men and women white men, and then forty 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:24.360 percent of them are white women, black men, black women, Asian, Hispanic, 0:08:24.800 --> 0:08:26.280 on and on and on, you know what I mean. 0:08:26.560 --> 0:08:35.600 Other but the huge majority is white men. Challenging racist 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:39.960 thoughts begins with examining the things that you take for granted, 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:43.120 you know, because you might not think or this person 0:08:43.320 --> 0:08:44.880 that you thought of that says, oh we go to 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:48.439 black friend, they might not think they're racist. But the 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:51.120 truth is, once you start to examine things that you 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:54.480 take for granted, especially things that other people may not 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:57.199 be able to take for granted. Then you start to 0:08:57.280 --> 0:09:01.720 realize where your biases lie. Dare I say your privilege 0:09:02.520 --> 0:09:07.120 lives right, We've said it on the show before, Q 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:14.599 and I. Privilege is not a bonus check. It's not 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:22.720 a head start, per se. It's just not being born 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:25.120 with a strike against you. It's not the same amount 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:28.520 of hurdles on your journey, you know, it's not the 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:31.560 same amount of pitfalls. It could be the same distance, 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:35.000 you know, So for you just looks like I had 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:36.520 to work hard, I had to do all this stuff. 0:09:36.600 --> 0:09:39.439 I worked and there was no privilege, no fairy godmother. 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:43.679 I didn't inherit any money. There's no white privilege. But 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:46.880 what that doesn't account for is the potential pitfalls that 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:50.439 are present when you don't look like that, when you're 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:59.199 not born a healthy, white, straight Christian male in the 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:05.720 United States. That there are some people who are born 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:07.800 with one or more of those things not being the 0:10:07.920 --> 0:10:10.719 case for them, and those things might make it a 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:13.120 little bit more difficult for them to get to what 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:21.000 their idea of utopia is right, or even just success, 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:24.840 even if it's just enough. You know, there's there's pitfalls 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:26.839 all over the place, and it's hard to see that 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:31.520 if you're looking at your struggle and saying, well, I 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:36.120 have to struggle too. Right, everybody's I mean, nobody gets 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:38.600 out of this thing alive. Right, So everybody's got their 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:42.959 own stuff to deal with. But when you account for 0:10:43.000 --> 0:10:44.760 the fact that other people got more to deal with, 0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:48.319 it starts to help give you some perspective. 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:48.600 Right. 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:53.040 And this statement I'm not racist I have a black 0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:58.120 friend is very dangerous because people that say this and 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:05.920 things like this don't critically examine their biases. They don't know. 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:09.439 They genuinely think, I'm not racist. I have a black friend, 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:13.160 meaning like I can like this black person. This person 0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:15.080 has been in my house, our kids have played together. 0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:18.640 That's that. But you know, when they cast a vote, 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:23.880 they don't consider how will this vote impact these other people? 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:26.160 How does it alter the reality of these other people? 0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:26.839 Right? 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:32.199 When I chose not to vote for Donald Trump, the 0:11:32.320 --> 0:11:34.840 name I shouldn't have said, but whatever, When I chose 0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:37.439 not to vote for him, that wasn't because of me. 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:40.640 That could have been enough of a reason by itself, 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:43.439 But that was for my Hispanic brothers and sisters. I 0:11:43.559 --> 0:11:47.000 remember that because he was talking about building a wall, 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:49.400 and I remember everybody that I knew. For those that 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:53.840 don't know, I live in Arizona and I was born 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:58.679 in California. My whole life was shaped by what was 0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:02.000 once Mexico. All the street names, the foods, the people 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:06.800 that live here, the beans, the rice, the cheese. It 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:11.280 grows from the ground. Food is not racist, you know 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:15.160 what I'm saying. People are weird anyway. All these people 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:18.559 that I know and love that have helped shape my life, 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:22.079 hopefully I've helped shape their lives too. I realized that 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:26.800 if in a parallel universe, like a weird alternative reality, 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:29.960 I would have voted for that man who was saying 0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:33.000 build the wall and all this, all this flagrant stuff 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:37.360 that was really scary to them, that his being elected 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:42.120 could alter their reality. You know, you know, I made 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:44.520 enough money where conceivably I could have voted for that 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:47.959 man and it would have benefited me. You know, you know, 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:51.760 I don't really you know, I would not be at 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:54.439 the worst end of his policies, the receiving end of 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:58.679 a lot of his more negative whatever. You know. I 0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:01.360 know that, but I also reckon recognize that this is 0:13:01.480 --> 0:13:06.480 not just my world right, and so again being able 0:13:06.559 --> 0:13:10.839 to examine the world from beyond just your front porch 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:14.000 really helps. And when you say things like I'm not racist, 0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:17.719 I have a black friend, it chops you, like you 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:21.040 chopping yourself off at the knees in terms of limiting 0:13:21.120 --> 0:13:24.559 your potential to grow and to learn. How can I 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:27.800 be better? I want to be better for you if 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:31.520 you are that white Christian, healthy, straight male. I want 0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:33.280 to be a better brother to you, because that is 0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:38.120 my journey. I want to be better to everybody because 0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:40.160 I believe that I can be as good as I 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:42.199 think I am. I think I can do better and 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:45.920 still do better. And when you say things like well, 0:13:45.960 --> 0:13:48.080 I'm not racist, because it is I'm not racist because 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:50.000 of that I went I went to college with a 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:52.599 black guy, you know what I mean? It gives you 0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:56.760 a false sense of It gives you like a false 0:13:56.880 --> 0:14:00.440 barrier to hide behind in your own mind. You develop 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:03.960 a complex and then everything that you do that keeps 0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:06.160 it in check, and you don't really check yourself like 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:08.319 that might have been a little out of pocket. What 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:08.920 do you think you. 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:12.640 There's a lot to unpack here. You know what I mean. 0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:19.240 A person with a black friend can be racist in 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:21.600 the same way that a person with the daughter can 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:24.840 be a rapist, in the same way that a person 0:14:25.040 --> 0:14:29.000 with a family who they have no intention on killing 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:32.520 can be a serial killer. Right. The presence of something 0:14:32.600 --> 0:14:35.800 that fits into the group that you offend doesn't mean 0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:38.840 that you're not against that group. Uh. And in some 0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:42.240 cases I have to be fair, and we've talked about 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:46.000 this before. Sometimes those biases are implicit, they're not even 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:48.040 some most people are not even. 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:48.520 Aware of them. 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:52.160 Yeah, right, in their head, their black friend is an 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:56.520 exceptional black person. So I'm not talking about you rams, 0:14:56.680 --> 0:14:59.720 I mean them. You're my friend, of course, I'm not 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:01.840 talking about you. I'm talking about the ones that drink 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:06.520 the Hennessy. You're well spoken, in articular, because I don't 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:08.800 mean you as if you're one of one or a unicorn, 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:13.840 because you're intelligent and can articulate. And a lot of 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:17.360 those biases are born out of what our capitalist country 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:22.160 did very intentionally, and that's making minorities the enemy of 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:24.480 the white man, even if the white man is poor 0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:27.720 and has far more in common with those oppressed and 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:31.560 held back minorities. Right, give them someone to hate, give 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:34.720 them somebody to point to as to why their version 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:37.800 of the American dream isn't happening. So there are poor people, 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:41.280 poor white people all around the country that have to 0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:44.320 be looking like, what are you talking about white privilege? 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:48.320 I'm poor, My dad was poor. His dad was poor. 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:51.960 So we sound crazy when we're talking about white privilege 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:54.760 to a certain sector of our population. But they're being 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:58.160 held back and pressed down by the same laws and 0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:02.800 same ideology that there non Caucasian brothers and sisters are 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:06.040 being held down by, except they don't think it should 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:09.800 be happening to them, So someone else has to be 0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:10.560 the reason why. 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:17.440 I think that in and of itself is never mind. 0:16:17.880 --> 0:16:19.080 I don't want to go in that drag. I do 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:22.400 want to share a quick story to your point. Once 0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:24.840 upon a time I knew a person. His name was Jared, 0:16:26.680 --> 0:16:32.960 and Jared and I were friends. I would go and 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:38.160 hang out with him every weekend, and his roommate was 0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:40.440 really my friend, but Jared was there. Jared loved me. 0:16:40.520 --> 0:16:42.800 We all hung out. It was my guy, right. Jared's white, 0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:45.040 maybe a year or two older than me. He was 0:16:45.080 --> 0:16:49.960 really into sports, which I totally was not but he 0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:52.680 knew that I knew a little bit about basketball, like 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:56.680 early nineties basketball, and Shaquille O'Neil was a name that 0:16:56.760 --> 0:16:59.000 I knew and whatever. So he tells me the story. 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:02.440 He's like, man, Shack did something the other day. I 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:04.359 forget what the story was, but he's like, yeah, Shack 0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:06.639 and it was something he was disappointed and Shaquille O'Neil 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:08.879 for doing. Right, So he's like, yeah, Shaq did this 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:11.560 and blah blah blah. And he's like, and you know, 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:15.200 I think that that's that's that's one guy where I 0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:19.560 think it's okay to use the N word. And I 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:25.280 was like, uh huh huh. You know that like laugh 0:17:25.359 --> 0:17:27.920 where you're like, uh oh, did he really just say that? 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:30.440 Because you know, the way he's setting it up is 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:32.560 like it's going to be funny, So your body, I think, 0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:36.159 is prepared to laugh, and then once your mind catches 0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:39.680 up and processes the words, it like chokes the laugh 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:42.400 from coming out. And so that's the noise that you heard. 0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:46.119 And I did this little half laugh and then he 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:50.359 kind of did a little chuckle. And you know, James, 0:17:50.520 --> 0:17:52.480 our other friend, was in there like kind of on 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:53.879 the way to the kitchen or something like that. So 0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:57.400 he kind of overheard, but he was he wasn't engaged, right, 0:17:57.480 --> 0:17:59.080 so he had a bit of an audience me in 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:03.600 fifty percent James. So it just it felt like a 0:18:03.760 --> 0:18:07.520 joke that didn't land. But he knew better because I'm 0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:14.920 really good at making people uncomfortable, right, So I kind 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:20.440 of said with it, and you know, he said something 0:18:20.520 --> 0:18:22.440 else and tried to change the subject and you know 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:25.520 that sort of stuff. But you know, I really had 0:18:25.560 --> 0:18:27.840 to like come to terms with like how in the world, 0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:34.080 Like I can't do that, And I'm like, do I 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:36.639 educate him? Or is he a lost cause? Or like, 0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:38.080 you know, you had to figure out who you are 0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:40.280 in that moment. So I get it. You know, sometimes 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:43.159 you got it because that's a hard line for me 0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:45.320 and for a lot of you. If you're listening to us, 0:18:45.440 --> 0:18:47.280 that perhaps is a hard line for you too, But 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:50.360 it doesn't it's not easy to cut that limb off, 0:18:51.240 --> 0:18:52.560 you know what I'm saying. You have to figure out 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:54.399 how you're gonna do it, or if it's necessary, can 0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:55.760 we save it? You know, can this person? 0:18:55.800 --> 0:18:56.119 You know what I mean? 0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:57.960 You don't want to just give up on people, but 0:18:58.160 --> 0:19:01.200 obviously for me, with the story of my life, it's 0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:04.639 not something that I'm able to tolerate, right, So I 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:06.720 sit with it and he's trying to change the subject. 0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:08.639 He comes back around and he's like, yo, man, listen, 0:19:10.080 --> 0:19:12.040 I noticed when I said that thing about Shack. He 0:19:12.080 --> 0:19:17.440 didn't say be in word. He said the word. He 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:23.840 said the phrase right, but conveyed the full weight of 0:19:23.920 --> 0:19:26.400 what he was trying to say to me. He's like, hey, man, 0:19:27.119 --> 0:19:30.040 I know you know that I didn't say that word. 0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:33.119 And of course I would never talk about you like that. 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:36.800 I was trying to say, you know, Shack because of 0:19:36.880 --> 0:19:39.760 what he did, I think it's okay to call him that. 0:19:40.960 --> 0:19:43.720 And I was like, man, strike two, you know what 0:19:43.760 --> 0:19:48.960 I mean. And I took a moment and I says 0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:55.040 to him, listen, when you use that word, you're using 0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:59.280 that word because he's black. If Shaq was not black, 0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:01.639 you would not that sentence would not have come out 0:20:01.680 --> 0:20:05.960 of your mouth. So that word is associated with blackness 0:20:06.960 --> 0:20:10.960 in your mind. And that we don't even have to 0:20:11.080 --> 0:20:17.440 go any further than that. We don't have to go 0:20:17.520 --> 0:20:22.919 any further than that, but we can, because even at 0:20:22.960 --> 0:20:25.679 that young age, I might have been seventeen and eighteen 0:20:25.760 --> 0:20:30.040 somewhere in there, twenty one years ago. But even at 0:20:30.080 --> 0:20:32.680 that young age, I was able to say, listen, man, 0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:34.359 there's a lot of stuff that you need to like 0:20:34.480 --> 0:20:39.440 really deal with and don't get it twisted. You know, 0:20:40.560 --> 0:20:44.040 racism is not just the inWORD. In fact, that's a 0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:47.680 very very small part of racism. That's perhaps the kind 0:20:47.720 --> 0:20:50.720 that you can make an argument that you know, a 0:20:50.760 --> 0:20:54.040 lot of people prefer that kind of racism. It's that 0:20:54.200 --> 0:20:59.920 quiet racism that's powerful, that shapes societies and lifetimes and outcome. 0:21:00.680 --> 0:21:05.720 That's the racism that really, that's the monster. Somebody calling 0:21:05.800 --> 0:21:07.720 you the inWORD is like okay, well I know, not 0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:10.440 to walk down this street no more or whatever. You know. 0:21:12.200 --> 0:21:14.639 So don't think that just because you don't say the 0:21:14.680 --> 0:21:16.480 in word, or someone else doesn't say the in word, 0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:22.720 that they can't be, you know, harbor these sorts of thoughts, sentiments, 0:21:22.960 --> 0:21:28.520 or contribute to shaping the society that is a white 0:21:28.520 --> 0:21:32.160 supremacist society, a racist society. I do want to read 0:21:32.200 --> 0:21:35.600 this though, real quickly. And one of his most famous studies, 0:21:36.040 --> 0:21:41.280 Gordon Allport conducted surveys of white soldiers who fought alongside 0:21:41.400 --> 0:21:44.560 black soldiers during World War Two. He discovered that in 0:21:44.720 --> 0:21:51.320 companies where both black and white platoons, white soldiers disliked 0:21:51.440 --> 0:21:55.080 black people far less than did white soldiers who served 0:21:55.119 --> 0:22:02.560 in segregated units, meaning that in mixed platoons white soldiers 0:22:02.640 --> 0:22:06.560 were there wasn't as much in the way of hard feelings. 0:22:06.640 --> 0:22:09.720 Everybody just kind of was having a human experience together. 0:22:10.040 --> 0:22:12.480 Where it was segregated, they kind of looked down on 0:22:12.560 --> 0:22:15.320 the white soldiers or on the black soldiers. White soldiers 0:22:15.359 --> 0:22:20.199 looked down on black soldiers and segregated companies. But Allport 0:22:20.280 --> 0:22:22.719 found it was not enough for whites and non whites 0:22:22.960 --> 0:22:26.600 to simply know one another. Other conditions also had to 0:22:26.640 --> 0:22:31.960 be met, such as personal interaction, equal status, and both 0:22:32.040 --> 0:22:37.080 groups sharing common goals. Allport's findings, which were replicated with 0:22:37.160 --> 0:22:41.760 civilians in varying settings, proved that hatred and racism stemmed 0:22:41.760 --> 0:22:48.159 from a lack of contact, and the historian Rutger Bergmann 0:22:48.680 --> 0:22:53.800 or Brigman wrote an essay describing all ports work. There's 0:22:53.800 --> 0:22:58.680 a quote, we generally wild We generalized wildly about strangers 0:22:58.720 --> 0:23:01.439 because we don't know them, Win wrote. So the remedy 0:23:01.600 --> 0:23:05.720 seemed obvious, more contract when you say I have a 0:23:05.800 --> 0:23:11.280 black friend. It shows your willingness to reach across racial 0:23:11.359 --> 0:23:15.680 lines to learn about a person, but not about a culture. 0:23:16.440 --> 0:23:20.000 So don't limit yourself. Okay, and we got about a 0:23:20.080 --> 0:23:21.359 minute left. I do want to share this. 0:23:23.359 --> 0:23:23.399 Q. 0:23:25.160 --> 0:23:32.160 His best friend is white, me my best friend. I've 0:23:32.200 --> 0:23:34.199 known him since he was three. I was seven when 0:23:34.240 --> 0:23:38.000 we met. He's white. You can look him if you're 0:23:38.000 --> 0:23:39.520 listening on the radio. You might be a fan of radio. 0:23:39.520 --> 0:23:42.320 Look him a blueleg keV best friend, best man at 0:23:42.359 --> 0:23:44.879 his wedding, the whole nine. I think Tommy was the 0:23:44.920 --> 0:23:47.080 best man at your wedding, right, yes, sir, and I 0:23:47.240 --> 0:23:50.840 was his exactly that our best friends are. I mean, 0:23:50.880 --> 0:23:52.560 we're best friends too. But you know, you know what 0:23:52.600 --> 0:23:55.960 I'm trying to say, our lifelong best friends white. They 0:23:56.000 --> 0:23:59.280 would never say I'm not racist, I have a black friend. 0:24:00.280 --> 0:24:02.240 It would never be in the situation in the first place. 0:24:02.280 --> 0:24:05.240 But also they would know how to approach that with 0:24:05.320 --> 0:24:08.000 a bit more sensitivity and never hide behind that. 0:24:09.240 --> 0:24:12.119 And they also have excellent relationships with way more than 0:24:12.200 --> 0:24:15.600 one black person person exactly. And so again, it's not 0:24:15.720 --> 0:24:20.639 a it's not a person, it's a culture. So just 0:24:20.720 --> 0:24:23.639 gonna leave you with that, use it with your friends, 0:24:23.720 --> 0:24:27.560 use it with yourself. But now it is time for 0:24:27.680 --> 0:24:29.240 the way black history. 0:24:29.320 --> 0:24:38.320 Fact. I did yoga once. I did the downward dog, 0:24:38.480 --> 0:24:42.760 and did my favorite was the happy Baby downward dog. 0:24:43.040 --> 0:24:45.560 I'm gonna hear something funny too. So I took my 0:24:45.800 --> 0:24:47.560 son with me. He was a baby at the time, 0:24:47.920 --> 0:24:52.560 and I went to a yoga class and he had 0:24:52.600 --> 0:24:54.159