WEBVTT - Meet Mr. Right

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, I do Part two. I'm one of your new

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<v Speaker 1>mentors here on the pod. I'll stay anonymous, but here's

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<v Speaker 1>a hint. A long time ago, I might have been

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<v Speaker 1>on TV looking for love, But today you can call

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<v Speaker 1>me mister Wright, and I'm here to answer all your

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<v Speaker 1>burning questions. Anything for marriage or relationships, divorce, dating, sex,

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<v Speaker 1>you name it. I'm your resident real guy here to

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<v Speaker 1>give you the right advice. So I guess up to

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<v Speaker 1>this point, the show has stirred up a lot of questions, emails,

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<v Speaker 1>voicemails have been coming in, So let's start answering a

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<v Speaker 1>question and go with a voicemail.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi, my name is Maggie. Then. I live in Los

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<v Speaker 2>Angeles and I went on a date with a guy,

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<v Speaker 2>me him out at a bar. You did mention that

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<v Speaker 2>he got out of a relationship a month and a

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<v Speaker 2>half ago, and I just kind of know how that goes,

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<v Speaker 2>because I've been in that situation before where I'm eager

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<v Speaker 2>after a relationship, eager to jump into something else, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just wondering, like, am I rebound? Am? Is this

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<v Speaker 2>a red flag? Should I kind of pump the brakes here?

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<v Speaker 2>Keep going on dates? Let me know? Okay, Thanks, all.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, Maggie, great question, And this obviously comes up a lot,

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<v Speaker 1>as you know there's gonna be a first date after

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<v Speaker 1>somebody gets out of a relationship. We've all been there,

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<v Speaker 1>and the question is, really, you know, are you missing something?

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<v Speaker 1>Are there red flags? And I don't think there is

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<v Speaker 1>so far. I mean, nothing that you said is said

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<v Speaker 1>a red flag. I mean, you know you're gonna date

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<v Speaker 1>again after a breakup or even a divorce, and who's

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<v Speaker 1>to say that you aren't the right person for him?

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<v Speaker 1>So I think that if you're enjoying it, I think,

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<v Speaker 1>if it's fun, if it's not forced, I think you

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<v Speaker 1>keep going with it. Maybe you know you are the

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<v Speaker 1>unicorn and someone that he's been looking for. So my

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<v Speaker 1>advice is, you know, you know, don't get pessimistic until

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<v Speaker 1>you need to. But if you know you're really worried

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<v Speaker 1>about being a rebound, I would say be cautious of that,

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<v Speaker 1>look for those signs, those red flags. But I'd be

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<v Speaker 1>also careful not to push it too much, because you know,

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<v Speaker 1>the guy might be just kind of figuring this out

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<v Speaker 1>and he might be having a great time and really

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<v Speaker 1>enjoying it. But if he feels like he's getting pressure

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<v Speaker 1>now something he just might have gotten out of recently

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<v Speaker 1>that might just push him away. So I would say,

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<v Speaker 1>listen to your heart, follow the signs, but don't push it.

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<v Speaker 3>See where it goes.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, along with all these voicemails you've been getting, there's

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<v Speaker 1>also been some emails that have come into the show

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<v Speaker 1>that have some really pressing questions. So we got an

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<v Speaker 1>email from Hillary who's asking, I got divorced five years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>I've dated a lot since, been with my boyfriend for

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<v Speaker 1>a year, and I think I'm ready to move in together.

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<v Speaker 3>Does this seem too soon? How should I bring up

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<v Speaker 3>the topic? If he says no, then what do I do?

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<v Speaker 2>All?

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<v Speaker 3>Right?

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<v Speaker 1>This is the billion question. It's one person is ready

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<v Speaker 1>for something. Is the other person ready for the same thing?

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<v Speaker 1>And how do you figure that out?

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<v Speaker 3>Now?

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<v Speaker 1>Moving in together I think should feel pretty natural, and

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<v Speaker 1>I think the circumstances can kind of lend towards that direction.

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<v Speaker 3>Does it seem too soon?

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<v Speaker 2>No?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I think that if it's right, it's right.

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<v Speaker 1>But if you haven't brought up the topic, I would

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<v Speaker 1>be very cautious about that, just to make sure that

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<v Speaker 1>you guys are both kind of on the same page

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<v Speaker 1>and something as big as moving into I don't think

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<v Speaker 1>should be a mystery. And you know the last part

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<v Speaker 1>of your question. If he says no, then what do

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<v Speaker 1>you do? I mean, maybe you move on if he

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't want to move in, if he doesn't want to

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<v Speaker 1>take the relationship to the next step. It sounds like

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<v Speaker 1>you're looking for something serious, So you got to make

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<v Speaker 1>sure that he's looking for.

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<v Speaker 3>The same thing.

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<v Speaker 1>And if he says he's not interested, you got to

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<v Speaker 1>figure out why. Is it because he can't break his lease?

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<v Speaker 1>Is it because he's got a dog? I mean, there

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<v Speaker 1>might be some mitigating factors there, but I think if

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<v Speaker 1>you're just trying to put on, like if you're not

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<v Speaker 1>ready now, will you be ready in three months or

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<v Speaker 1>six months or not? Like, I don't know, that's a

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<v Speaker 1>risk that you might not be ready to take because

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<v Speaker 1>if it's a good idea in nine months, it should

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<v Speaker 1>be a better idea today. All right, now, we've got

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<v Speaker 1>another voicemail coming in with another question for the pod.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm just wondering what you think kind of the golden

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<v Speaker 4>standard is for texting when you're first starting to date someone.

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<v Speaker 3>How much is too much? How much is too little?

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<v Speaker 2>How often do you want to be texting someone keeping

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<v Speaker 2>up with them versus seeing them in person when you're

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<v Speaker 2>first starting to date, and how do you think that

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<v Speaker 2>evolves over.

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<v Speaker 3>Time or do you think it's different for everybody. I'd

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<v Speaker 3>love to get your take now.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a great question, and I think it is

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<v Speaker 1>different for everybody, But really it depends on your age category.

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<v Speaker 1>So I've got young kids and they have very specific

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<v Speaker 1>rules about how they text, and it's I can't decipher

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<v Speaker 1>it now. Me as you know a divorce dad, My

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<v Speaker 1>texting is very different, and I do it when it

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<v Speaker 1>feels right, when it feels natural. I'm not worried about

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<v Speaker 1>the certain standards of way to day or wait two

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<v Speaker 1>days or wait six weeks or whatever the heck's going

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<v Speaker 1>on right now.

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<v Speaker 3>I think you've got to do it feels good for you.

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<v Speaker 1>And if you're worried about sharing too much that isn't

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<v Speaker 1>getting responded to, then that might be an indication of

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<v Speaker 1>you know, where the two of you are in your relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>You know personally, you know, I want to share something

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<v Speaker 1>with somebody that I'm dating. I want to let them

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<v Speaker 1>know what's going on, and if I'm over sharing, then

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<v Speaker 1>that just might be a compatibility issue. But you know, again,

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<v Speaker 1>I can see how people get nervous about it because

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<v Speaker 1>you think to yourself, oh, I don't want to I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to blast.

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<v Speaker 3>Them with text, And there can be that time than

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<v Speaker 3>you are.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, let's say the other person's on a on

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<v Speaker 1>a trip or on a plane or whatever else, and

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<v Speaker 1>all of a sudden they open their phone up when

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<v Speaker 1>they can do it again, and there's sixteen messages. That

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<v Speaker 1>might be a bit overwhelming and a bit much. So,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I think the natural courses that give and take.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, you send a message and a message comes back.

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<v Speaker 1>You kind of do that give and take like you

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<v Speaker 1>wouldn't conversation. But now it's just electronic. But I think

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<v Speaker 1>there's always if there is something that pops up into

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<v Speaker 1>your head, a funny photo or a meme or a

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<v Speaker 1>reel you want to send, I think you should be

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<v Speaker 1>able to do that without feeling like you're flooding them.

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<v Speaker 1>So the way that mister Wright here feels about it,

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<v Speaker 1>especially in a chapter two relationship after a divorce and

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<v Speaker 1>dating again, I think texting is the easiest and cleanest

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<v Speaker 1>and quickest way to tell somebody that you're thinking about them.

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<v Speaker 3>Now.

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<v Speaker 1>You might have kids, you might have a busy career,

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<v Speaker 1>you might have all these things going on that prevent

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<v Speaker 1>you from going and taking twenty minutes for a phone

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<v Speaker 1>call or being available when a phone calls coming in.

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<v Speaker 1>But I can't tell you how nice it is to

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<v Speaker 1>see an incoming message from somebody you want to hear from,

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<v Speaker 1>and it can be as quick as a hello, thinking

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<v Speaker 1>about you whatever. So I think in this chapter, this

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<v Speaker 1>kind of second chapter of relationship, I think that texting

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<v Speaker 1>is a great way to stay connected without overwhelming.

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<v Speaker 3>So this voicemail kind of.

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<v Speaker 1>Brought up a lot of questions that have come up previously,

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<v Speaker 1>which is, you know, women complaining or questioning if they're

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<v Speaker 1>not getting the same text response communeication response back from

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<v Speaker 1>a man, and you know, I, you know, it just

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<v Speaker 1>begs the question. Is it because they're not interested, it's

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<v Speaker 1>because they're too busy? Is it because guys just generally

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<v Speaker 1>aren't that good at communicating? And do you guys think

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<v Speaker 1>do ladies think that it's time to bring it up

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<v Speaker 1>and to confront them or do you kind of try

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<v Speaker 1>and hope that it just gets better on its own

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<v Speaker 1>with more practice.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, mister right, me personally. What I think is

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<v Speaker 3>I would much rather know in any situation, especially in

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<v Speaker 3>this chapter two of my life, in any situation when

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<v Speaker 3>things are starting to go down the wrong path, if

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<v Speaker 3>the other person is feeling you know, undervalued or not

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<v Speaker 3>important or not you know, whatever that is, I want

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<v Speaker 3>to know right away. And I don't want to I

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<v Speaker 3>don't want to get yelled at. I want to get

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<v Speaker 3>get a confrontational tone. But it might be something as

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<v Speaker 3>easy as like, hey, I've noticed that some of our

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<v Speaker 3>communication has fallen off recently.

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<v Speaker 1>Is there something going on, you know, in your life.

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<v Speaker 1>We're kids, that's that's making it more difficult, or is

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<v Speaker 1>there something else going on? So I think giving an out,

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<v Speaker 1>give a sense of understanding instead of just kind of

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<v Speaker 1>an accusatory tone, because that's the worst thing about text.

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<v Speaker 1>Text is great. The worst thing about text is that

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<v Speaker 1>there is no personality. There's no inflection of tone and

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<v Speaker 1>personality behind it. So text can come over and be

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<v Speaker 1>read in a lot of different ways, and some you know,

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes you know when you respond and just say yep, ohoahit.

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<v Speaker 3>Why didn't they say yes, I'd love to. Why was

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<v Speaker 3>it so quick?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, it might be that they were to stop light

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<v Speaker 1>and just responding very quickly and didn't have time. So

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<v Speaker 1>I think you want to be clear on how you're feeling,

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<v Speaker 1>but just be careful not to be too accusatory if

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<v Speaker 1>there's a very good reason why it's not being you know,

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<v Speaker 1>quite as as fifty to fifty on that communication. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>in general, guys just aren't that great at communicators, So

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<v Speaker 1>don't hold that against us. We're trying, we're learning. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>texting is tough, but I wouldn't let that worry you

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<v Speaker 1>too much. And I think that the real measurement should

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<v Speaker 1>be So if you're starting off in a relationship and

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<v Speaker 1>the communication is very often, if it's you know, ten

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<v Speaker 1>times a day or whatever, but then over time that

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<v Speaker 1>subsides and all of a sudden they're missing a day

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<v Speaker 1>or missing two days or even you know, whatever, that

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<v Speaker 1>interruption in communication is without a real good reason, that's

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<v Speaker 1>the time to start to get worried. Now, if the

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<v Speaker 1>relationship starts off and it's only a text a day

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<v Speaker 1>or a call a day, and that stays consistent, then

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<v Speaker 1>don't get worried about that. That's just their communication style.

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<v Speaker 1>But if you see it like it starts to get

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<v Speaker 1>more distracted. If it starts to get more infrequent, there

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<v Speaker 1>might be something else or someone else going on there.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, we got another email coming in from Maria

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<v Speaker 1>and she writes, I saw a TikTok where someone said

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<v Speaker 1>when men meet women, they immediately put them into one

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<v Speaker 1>of three boxes. Either wants to date her, he wants

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<v Speaker 1>to sleep with her, or he wants nothing to do

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<v Speaker 1>with her.

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<v Speaker 3>Is this true? All right?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, mister Wright says that pretty much starts off with

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<v Speaker 1>two categories, and guys are just visceral, weird, chrome magnet creatures,

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<v Speaker 1>and there's either an immediate attraction that says they' put

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<v Speaker 1>into the box number one where they want to you know,

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<v Speaker 1>sleep with her, or box number two where they don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to sleep with there I know about nothing to

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<v Speaker 1>do with her. The dating part of it, I think

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<v Speaker 1>develops over time. So there's you know, guys have this

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<v Speaker 1>instant attraction. There's just a type usually that someone meets,

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<v Speaker 1>especially if it's at a bar or if it's at

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<v Speaker 1>a party or something like that. And yeah, there's immediate

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<v Speaker 1>feelings I think that pop up that are really just chemical.

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<v Speaker 1>Now over time that develops into whether they want to

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<v Speaker 1>make that a date type of a relationship or goes

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<v Speaker 1>over you over more time. Now that's I want to

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<v Speaker 1>bring up something really important, which I think is the

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<v Speaker 1>difference between meeting at a bar, meeting it somewhere just

0:10:41.920 --> 0:10:44.559
<v Speaker 1>you know, random a concert or whatever, or meeting through

0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:47.560
<v Speaker 1>a friend or meeting at work or meeting somewhere that

0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:50.120
<v Speaker 1>you will see this person over and over again and

0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:53.640
<v Speaker 1>in different sort of situations, you know, different different kind

0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:57.360
<v Speaker 1>of components, different people around, And I think that those

0:10:57.559 --> 0:10:59.679
<v Speaker 1>relationships are a little bit more difficult to start to

0:10:59.679 --> 0:11:03.560
<v Speaker 1>put it into a box because it's not an immediate thing,

0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:06.360
<v Speaker 1>it's kind of an overtime thing. But I do think

0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:12.560
<v Speaker 1>that that guys are definitely responsible for being a little

0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:16.280
<v Speaker 1>bit too quick to judge simply on you know, first impression,

0:11:16.880 --> 0:11:21.240
<v Speaker 1>and so you know, oftentimes that first impression can you know, yeah,

0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:25.559
<v Speaker 1>maybe it works, but oftentimes that probably leads to disappointment

0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:28.360
<v Speaker 1>for both sides. So I think that this email is

0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:32.480
<v Speaker 1>really asking can men and women be friends? And I

0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:35.559
<v Speaker 1>think definitely when I was younger, that was probably harder

0:11:35.600 --> 0:11:38.240
<v Speaker 1>to come by because you know, you're you're kind of

0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:41.120
<v Speaker 1>out chasing girls and you know you're not looking for

0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:45.440
<v Speaker 1>kind of that solid female friendship relationship. But I found

0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:48.600
<v Speaker 1>as I've gotten older, some of my dearest closest friends

0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:51.920
<v Speaker 1>are women, and so I think that does change. So

0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:53.800
<v Speaker 1>you know, on the on the part too, on the

0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:57.080
<v Speaker 1>on the second chapter of life and dating, I think

0:11:57.080 --> 0:12:00.320
<v Speaker 1>that that guys will find themselves surrounded by more more

0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:05.640
<v Speaker 1>women friends and they become such valuable sounding boards, especially

0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:08.800
<v Speaker 1>when you're going through a transition of a divorce or

0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:13.240
<v Speaker 1>into a new relationship. I think that women friends can

0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:15.760
<v Speaker 1>be so much more valuable in offering advice and counsel

0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:19.160
<v Speaker 1>and so yeah, I think that over time, I think,

0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:22.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, female friends for me have gotten that much

0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:35.280
<v Speaker 1>more valuable and important in my life. All right, looks

0:12:35.320 --> 0:12:37.640
<v Speaker 1>like we have another voicemail coming into the pod.

0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.960
<v Speaker 4>My name is Pina, and I have a question. So

0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:46.360
<v Speaker 4>I was at CVS yesterday in the Valley of Los

0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:51.520
<v Speaker 4>Angeles and they have sex toys on sale next to

0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:54.280
<v Speaker 4>the condoms, which I thought was pretty progressive.

0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:55.480
<v Speaker 2>But my question is.

0:12:55.440 --> 0:13:01.040
<v Speaker 4>This, how do you get your husband or partner to

0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:05.640
<v Speaker 4>buy one for you if you would like that as

0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:08.840
<v Speaker 4>a kiss? And I guess the question is how do

0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:14.960
<v Speaker 4>you really introduce sex tooice into a relationship when you

0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:17.400
<v Speaker 4>are embarrassed to do it right.

0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:18.240
<v Speaker 2>That's a question.

0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:20.680
<v Speaker 3>This is a great question, and this is an easy

0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:21.200
<v Speaker 3>one for me.

0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:25.680
<v Speaker 1>I promise you there isn't a boyfriend or a husband

0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:31.320
<v Speaker 1>that wouldn't be curious, interested, excited and thralled over the

0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:35.800
<v Speaker 1>moon to find out that their partner is interested in

0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:39.880
<v Speaker 1>spicing things up, changing things up in the bedroom, especially

0:13:39.880 --> 0:13:41.520
<v Speaker 1>if you've been together for a long time.

0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:43.600
<v Speaker 3>So if I were you, I would go back to

0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:44.200
<v Speaker 3>that CVS.

0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:46.560
<v Speaker 1>I'd find the aisle with the first you know, the

0:13:46.600 --> 0:13:49.600
<v Speaker 1>sale items there, and I would go and maybe try

0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:53.280
<v Speaker 1>a couple, and I would be incredibly surprised, and I'd

0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:57.760
<v Speaker 1>be willing to refund. Mister Wright's going to refund your

0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:00.480
<v Speaker 1>purchase of one of those items if if it isn't

0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:04.480
<v Speaker 1>met with the biggest smile and excitement you could possibly imagine.

0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:07.480
<v Speaker 1>But I'll tell you this right now that if you're

0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:10.280
<v Speaker 1>waiting for your partner to go and take that step,

0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.559
<v Speaker 1>you might be waiting a long time because it's kind

0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:16.760
<v Speaker 1>of an awkward thing because you don't quite know what's

0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:18.920
<v Speaker 1>going to be appropriate, what's going to be you know,

0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.640
<v Speaker 1>maybe too much, and if it's just going to go

0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:24.080
<v Speaker 1>and upset the woman too much.

0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:25.560
<v Speaker 3>So I would wait.

0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:28.560
<v Speaker 1>For a you know, a vacation, a special occasion, something

0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:29.000
<v Speaker 1>like that.

0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:30.640
<v Speaker 3>I would buy it yourself.

0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:34.560
<v Speaker 1>Whatever you feel is comfortable, whatever you think is you know, appropriate,

0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:37.960
<v Speaker 1>But do it. You'll find something that you're that you're

0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:41.160
<v Speaker 1>comfortable with. And uh, and don't wait on him, do

0:14:41.240 --> 0:14:43.600
<v Speaker 1>it yourself, quite literally, do it yourself.

0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:44.760
<v Speaker 3>All right.

0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:47.160
<v Speaker 1>We've got an email coming in from Natalie and she writes,

0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:50.800
<v Speaker 1>I've been cheated on in every relationship I've ever been

0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:53.880
<v Speaker 1>in Leaf that's said, I'm now in my late forties

0:14:53.960 --> 0:14:56.640
<v Speaker 1>and have never been married. And I think it's because

0:14:56.640 --> 0:14:59.800
<v Speaker 1>of my trust issues. What fred flags am I overlooking

0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:02.920
<v Speaker 1>that I should be more aware of what I'm getting

0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:06.280
<v Speaker 1>to know a guy? Well, Natalie, I gotta say, there's

0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:08.880
<v Speaker 1>an old adage that says, you know, fool me once,

0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:12.200
<v Speaker 1>shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool

0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:15.480
<v Speaker 1>me five times. And there might be something major that's

0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:18.640
<v Speaker 1>going on here that that you're not seeing. And maybe

0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:21.600
<v Speaker 1>they don't realize that you guys are even dating because

0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:25.800
<v Speaker 1>being cheated on just doesn't seem right. And and you know,

0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:31.120
<v Speaker 1>I think that the red flags should be very obvious.

0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:33.480
<v Speaker 1>You know, are they are they taking you out to

0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:37.040
<v Speaker 1>public places or they only doing secretly dark places on

0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:39.680
<v Speaker 1>Tuesday nights. Have you met their friends? Have you met

0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:41.840
<v Speaker 1>their family? If not, you know, why not do they

0:15:41.840 --> 0:15:44.600
<v Speaker 1>not have friends? Do not have family? Because I think

0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:46.480
<v Speaker 1>at some point you should start, you know, being more

0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:49.000
<v Speaker 1>involved in their life, not just romantically, but just kind

0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:51.680
<v Speaker 1>of socially as well. You know, there's other things like

0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:54.400
<v Speaker 1>are they, you know, sneaky with their phone? Are they

0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:57.480
<v Speaker 1>not sharing passwords? Are they you know, hiding things from you?

0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.640
<v Speaker 1>And I think that a lot of times, unfortunately, men

0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:03.640
<v Speaker 1>and women both get so enthralled in a relationship they're

0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:06.760
<v Speaker 1>almost willing to overlook these things because they don't want

0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:10.040
<v Speaker 1>to be right that the person might be cheating or

0:16:10.080 --> 0:16:13.200
<v Speaker 1>might be straying off because you wanted to work so badly,

0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:17.280
<v Speaker 1>we're willing to overlook those little things. But too many

0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:20.240
<v Speaker 1>of those little things all compiled, you might have a

0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:22.840
<v Speaker 1>problem there. And so, you know, the obvious red flags

0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:25.520
<v Speaker 1>like we just listed, But then within your own relationship,

0:16:26.360 --> 0:16:28.600
<v Speaker 1>you just got to kind of feel it is this

0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:31.880
<v Speaker 1>not feeling like it's progressing in a relationship from the

0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:34.320
<v Speaker 1>first date to the second date, there should be progress.

0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:36.240
<v Speaker 1>From the second date to the fifth date, there should

0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:39.840
<v Speaker 1>be progress. And whenever that gets too kind of static

0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:43.760
<v Speaker 1>and doesn't move, probably start thinking that there might.

0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:44.560
<v Speaker 3>Be something else going on.

0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:48.320
<v Speaker 1>And if I was speaking directly to Natalie, that's so damaging.

0:16:48.960 --> 0:16:51.040
<v Speaker 1>And you want to make sure you're getting the right

0:16:51.120 --> 0:16:54.760
<v Speaker 1>sort of help, therapy, guidance, counseling to make sure that

0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:58.320
<v Speaker 1>you know that you are a looking for the right guy,

0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:01.880
<v Speaker 1>you're not just putting yourself in a situation, but b

0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:05.639
<v Speaker 1>that you're not taking that hurt and putting it on

0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:07.840
<v Speaker 1>to the next guy that comes along. He didn't do

0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:10.440
<v Speaker 1>anything wrong, so make sure that you're not taking your

0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:15.600
<v Speaker 1>previous experience and compounding that by making it worse with

0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:18.520
<v Speaker 1>the next person that you date, because that's, you know,

0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:20.560
<v Speaker 1>that's a burden that he'll never be able to get over,

0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:23.159
<v Speaker 1>you know, paying the price and consequence or something he

0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:25.560
<v Speaker 1>didn't even do. So make sure that you're you know,

0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:30.439
<v Speaker 1>getting counseling, advice direction that make sure that you're in

0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:32.320
<v Speaker 1>a good headspace, and also make sure you're not putting

0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:34.240
<v Speaker 1>that on somebody else. Now, I got to say, we

0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:38.719
<v Speaker 1>did not expect this influx of questions and comments, So

0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:40.960
<v Speaker 1>mister Wright's gonna have to take a break here, and

0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:43.960
<v Speaker 1>we're gonna have to continue this on the next episode

0:17:44.000 --> 0:17:47.320
<v Speaker 1>answering all of these questions. Look forward to getting to

0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:56.600
<v Speaker 1>all of the dirty details.