1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:01,400 Speaker 1: One of the best days of my life was when 2 00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: Kat Williams knew who I was. Kat walks up to me, 3 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:07,200 Speaker 1: he goes, you a goddamn rock Starberg christ I. I've 4 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: been trying to take my shirt off for years. They 5 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 1: won't even let me wear a vest. All my life 6 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: and grinning all my life. 7 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:19,240 Speaker 2: Sacrifice, hustle bag, prison, one Slice, got the bron Geist 8 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:20,560 Speaker 2: swap all my life. 9 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 1: I'd be grinding all my. 10 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 2: Life, all my life and grinning all my life, sacrid fights, 11 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:30,800 Speaker 2: hustle bag, Bryson, one Slice, Doctor brone Geist Swatch all 12 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 2: my life. 13 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 1: I've been grinding all my life. 14 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 3: Hello, Welcome to another episode of Club Sha Shay. I 15 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 3: am your host, Shannon Sharper. I'm also a pride of 16 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 3: Club Sha Shay. Stopping Bible conversation and a drink today. 17 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,159 Speaker 3: Is one of the best storytellers of his generations. One 18 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 3: of the top grossing stand up comics in the business. 19 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 3: He's performed and sold out arenas around the globe, a 20 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 3: world renowned podcast a powerhouse entrepreneur who's built a media empire, 21 00:00:56,600 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 3: a celebrated movie star, producer, actor, writer, holds content, create 22 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 3: a husband and day, and he's the Florida State alone, 23 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 3: one of the greatest partyers of all time. The machine 24 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:12,200 Speaker 3: Brick Chryscher, Thank you, thanks you? Is that you? 25 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,040 Speaker 1: It doesn't sound when you read it, I was like, 26 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: gotta be somebody else. Yeah that was that sounds like 27 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 1: a lot. 28 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 3: But yeah, tell us, tell us about this one because 29 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:23,759 Speaker 3: you walked. He's like, hold on what, I got a stylus. Now, 30 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 3: I gave you a price point. This is not the 31 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 3: price point that we agreed upon. 32 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:32,000 Speaker 1: Who in the hell signed off on this? You get 33 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,319 Speaker 1: a stylist and you and I don't. I didn't know 34 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: that you're paying for these clothes. They bring in clothes 35 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 1: and they line them up and they're like, put it on. 36 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:42,119 Speaker 1: You like it, And I got tactile issues, so feel that. 37 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: That's so nice. And then today I'll put it on 38 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 1: and the price tags on and I went who paid 39 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 1: for this? This is like, I mean, I remember, you 40 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 1: could buy cars for this exactly. And then you wear 41 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 1: it and I'm gonna wear it all the time. I'm 42 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 1: gonna out, I'm gonna You're gonna see me on every podcast. No, no, 43 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 1: you can't do that. I'm gonna wear this one. 44 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 3: You know what time what tippen you at the stage. 45 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 3: Now you get you get it now because of who 46 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 3: you are. If you wear it again, people, man, I 47 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 3: sat here with that on Club Chasing. You're like, I 48 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,079 Speaker 3: don't give I. 49 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 1: Would Oh my god, Yeah, I'm gonna wear this shit 50 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,560 Speaker 1: out of this, ma'am. But thank you for coming on 51 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,079 Speaker 1: club shahe Are we really drinking? Yeah? We got buddy. 52 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: This is this is my dream. I ran into your 53 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: two Super bowls ago ago, and right when you started 54 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,079 Speaker 1: Club Chase shot. Yeah, I was walking right by you. 55 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: You forget how big grown men are until you see 56 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 1: them in person. And I scared the ship out of you. 57 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: I went club and you went huh And I was like, oh, 58 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:37,400 Speaker 1: a big fan, And You're like, okay, you just kept 59 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: walking right by. Cheers brother, cheers to you. That's nice. Shoot. 60 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 1: Yes me, you live in l A. I do so good. 61 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 3: We're gonna seen your home with a bo oh. Okay, 62 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 3: Well let's talk about your new show on Netflix. Free Burt. 63 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 3: You you have to change from who you naturally are. 64 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 3: How hard was it for you or is it hard 65 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 3: or you can just jump in and out of characters. 66 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 1: No, it's not. First of all, it's it's not hard 67 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 1: for me to because I only play one character when 68 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: I act, and as me, I'm not a hard Yeah, 69 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,280 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't audition for anything. I create the 70 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 1: project and I play it. Okay. In the Machine my movie, 71 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 1: I played Burt, and then this one I play Bert, 72 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: and they're all pulled. It's just like stand up. It's 73 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: pulled from my real life experience. I've always had an 74 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: identity crisis because I do have this this moniker in 75 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 1: this lifestyle that kind of precedes me of like I party, 76 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 1: I take my shirt off, I get wild, But then 77 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 1: I am also a dad, and I'm like, I am 78 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: a husband and so and you know, I when I 79 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 1: was a young father, I was not successful and I 80 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 1: was we were one of the poor parents at the school. 81 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 1: And you'd see parents that had like nice cars and 82 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: nice watches, and they'd come in a suit and you 83 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: and I was in Jim's shorts and a cutoff sweatshirt 84 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 1: with flip flops. And I always had this like I 85 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 1: never fit in. I see people, I mean, you may 86 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: even making money. For a long time, I'd go into 87 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 1: people's houses and go, how the hell do you afford this? Right? 88 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 1: Like what what's got to happen in my life for 89 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,440 Speaker 1: me to be able to buy a house. And so 90 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 1: that's this story, is this identity crisis that I have 91 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 1: when I brought my girls into this new school and 92 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,480 Speaker 1: everyone was and I was trying to fit in, and 93 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,719 Speaker 1: when I try to fit in, I felt so bad, 94 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: so bad, Like, so, how have you changed over time? 95 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 1: Has been? Burt? Has it allowed you? 96 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 3: Because you say you pull from your previous experiences, so 97 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 3: you know what it's like to not have to all 98 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,000 Speaker 3: of a sudden, you know what it's like to have 99 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 3: in an abundance. And so now who is the real 100 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,840 Speaker 3: Burt cursoner? I have no idea. I have zero ideas. 101 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,239 Speaker 3: I literally, I uh, you know, I'm going through identity. 102 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 3: I'm always going through some sort of I'm very introspective. 103 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 3: I'm in therapy and I'm trying to figure things out. 104 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:56,040 Speaker 3: And one of the things that was hard for me, 105 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 3: and I don't know if you felt this, but when 106 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 3: you got to the NFL and you your first big 107 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 3: check and then you watch the way people spend money, yes, 108 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 3: and you're like, well, I guess I'm supposed to spend 109 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 3: the money of that. 110 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,720 Speaker 1: And you know, we all got rich at the same 111 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:13,359 Speaker 1: time me and my friends. And I'm and you know 112 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,479 Speaker 1: who my friends are. But and I watched them buy 113 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:19,359 Speaker 1: expensive cars and expensive watches and wear suits. They all 114 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: started wearing suits, and then they build invest in businesses. 115 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,840 Speaker 1: I have a buddy right now as a croissant shop. Wow, 116 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:29,120 Speaker 1: what the fuck new comedian? He has a croissant shop. 117 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 1: He found a guy who makes croissants, moved him and 118 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: his family to Austin to start a crossians shop. But 119 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: then I watched him become entrepreneurs. And I was just 120 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: a guy who just wanted to make enough money to 121 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,799 Speaker 1: have a good house for his family. I'm usually jeans, 122 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,599 Speaker 1: flip flops and a T shirt and uh. And I 123 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 1: had a hard time coming to terms with with what, 124 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 1: for lack of better words, what kind of millionaire I 125 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: wanted to be because I really just I didn't. I 126 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 1: didn't want for anything. I didn't I don't care about cars. 127 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 1: I only started buying Watch this. My friends were buying 128 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: watching so like if too, I look at watch on this. 129 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: It's a very expensive habit to have. Yes it is, 130 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,160 Speaker 1: but but so I think I'm always kind of a 131 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:12,400 Speaker 1: little bit out of an identity crisis of like. But 132 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 1: I think that's also being a comedian. You're always introspective, 133 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 1: you're always inside, You're always trying to figure out what 134 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,240 Speaker 1: my angle is because I think if I'm honest with things, 135 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,320 Speaker 1: then then that translates to the audience because I think 136 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: they can deal with it. So I'm always in it. 137 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: I'm always trying to figure out who I am. I 138 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:28,719 Speaker 1: have no idea. 139 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,160 Speaker 3: I've heard a lot of people say they kind of 140 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,800 Speaker 3: feel guilty that once they come into a large sum 141 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 3: of money and the people around you they act, they 142 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,279 Speaker 3: treat you different because even though you're the same bird, 143 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,839 Speaker 3: like you say, a flip flop, shorts and a T shirt. 144 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,600 Speaker 1: You're not that same guy. No, you're not that same guy. 145 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:49,360 Speaker 1: So it's not that you've changed. 146 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 3: The people just treat you different, and it's it's it's 147 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 3: sometimes I just I feel guilty that that God is 148 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 3: the Lord has blessed me with so much and they 149 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,000 Speaker 3: don't have, and like, how am I supposed to act? 150 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 1: How do I act around them? Now? Dud there was 151 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 1: a great show. I don't know who made this. There's 152 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 1: a great show called Survivor's Remorse about a young Does 153 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: everyone remember the show. Lebron produced it and it was brilliant, 154 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,440 Speaker 1: and I went through that. When I got successful, I 155 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 1: started doing theaters was the first big step. Then you'd 156 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 1: go to the club and you'd see your buddies that 157 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 1: didn't have the success, and it's almost like those dudes 158 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 1: who come back from war and then they're laying in 159 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 1: their pool and they're going think of all the guys 160 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 1: that didn't come back. And sometimes you have success, and 161 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: then you go back to the club and you're like, god, man, 162 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 1: Like it was weird because I never changed. I never changed. 163 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: But people see who as change. They see you as like, Oh, 164 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 1: I remember going to the club and there was this 165 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: comedian was like, oh, I didn't know you still did 166 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: comedy clubs. I thought you just did stadiums. And I 167 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 1: was like, why can't you just say hi to me? 168 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: Like Jesus? And that guy knows who he is and 169 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:59,600 Speaker 1: so's the internet. But but and so everything changes around you. 170 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,960 Speaker 1: And like my podcast changed, yes, because I used to 171 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: sit with comics and just bullshit, and then all of 172 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: a sudden, comics would come on my podcast and they'd 173 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: be like and I like an idiot. I did my 174 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 1: podcast at my house my house was nice, and they'd 175 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,280 Speaker 1: be like, so, how do I get this? And they'd 176 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 1: ask the things I did to sell tickets? How did 177 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 1: you sell tickets? How did when you first started selling tickets? 178 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 1: What was the big key? Well, when you get ready 179 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 1: for a special? Because I prepared my specials differently. I 180 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 1: kind of worked the algorithm and I looked at Netflix 181 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 1: and I put my closer at twenty two minutes and 182 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 1: I front loaded everything and that and Netflix shared that 183 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 1: with everyone, and so comics would come and my podcast 184 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 1: got really inside baseball about like people more asking me 185 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 1: how I got where I was, and it, in my opinion, 186 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 1: it got less interesting because I don't think, well, I. 187 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 3: Don't really care to talk about me. I brought you 188 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,720 Speaker 3: to come on my podcast to talk about you. Yeah, 189 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,719 Speaker 3: but it's a young comic, yes, going like going like 190 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 3: how do I get here? And I think we did 191 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,840 Speaker 3: that to Joe. I think Joe is a little more relatable. 192 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 3: I think Joe's always kind of he's always shut that 193 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:57,160 Speaker 3: conversation down. 194 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: But I remember going to Joe's house the first time 195 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 1: and being like what the I was like, dude, And 196 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 1: and then you get high with them, and you're high 197 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,679 Speaker 1: you're like, You're like, dude, there's three wolves next door 198 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,599 Speaker 1: that you like, you got this is you have a 199 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: deprivation dank and like. But Joe, Joe's always Joe's a 200 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,840 Speaker 1: really great interviewer, so we always kept it at arms distance. 201 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 3: You know, the big game is almost here and there's 202 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:23,120 Speaker 3: no better way to cash in during America's biggest sporting 203 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 3: event than Prize Picks, where it always feels good to 204 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 3: be right, and the big game is right around the corner, 205 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 3: and that means your last chance to get in on 206 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:34,559 Speaker 3: the football action before next season. 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That's Cold Shannon to get fifty dollars in 222 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 3: lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup Prize Picks. 223 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 1: It's always good to be right. 224 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,840 Speaker 3: You blew up after the Rolling Stones article about being 225 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 3: a six year senior at the number one party school 226 00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 3: in the country. 227 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 1: How the hell did they find you? You know, it's 228 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: a great question. So initially what they did is they 229 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,400 Speaker 1: tried to write an article about Florida State. Okay, they 230 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: wanted to write an article about the party school. So 231 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: this guy air Kindergarten called up Flullida State, called like 232 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:48,599 Speaker 1: the five heads of different organizations and said, if I 233 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,360 Speaker 1: could spend one time with one guy that would give 234 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 1: me a broad stroke of the school, who would it be. 235 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 1: I had happened to party with all of those guys 236 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 1: the night before, so they were all hung over when 237 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 1: they got that call, and half of them thought it 238 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,199 Speaker 1: was me pranking them, right, So they all said my name, 239 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 1: and then he called me and I was in the 240 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:08,319 Speaker 1: middle of taking a bong hit and it was and 241 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,960 Speaker 1: he was like he was like, he was like, if 242 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 1: I could spend a week with you, and I just 243 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 1: want to learn about the school. I want to see 244 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 1: about school. And I was like, yeah, I actualaled. I 245 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 1: was like, and he was like, are you taking a 246 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,319 Speaker 1: bong hit? I was like, yeah, I'm playing for his 247 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 1: bee golf and I was like, sure, show up on ever. 248 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 1: And he partied with me for a week and then 249 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 1: when they wrote the article about Florida State, it didn't 250 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: make sense. And the editor, I think his name was 251 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,560 Speaker 1: Yellen Warner, so let's just make it about this kid. 252 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,839 Speaker 1: Let's just make it about this kid, because he seems 253 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,719 Speaker 1: pretty interesting. And I think I was. I was in 254 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:37,720 Speaker 1: open book. I've always been an open book. My policy 255 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:40,320 Speaker 1: with everything with podcasting, with stand up has always been 256 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 1: tell overtells the truth, overshare and when people go that's 257 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,280 Speaker 1: too much information, I go not until you start gagging. 258 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: That's when I and so I overshared with this guy 259 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,959 Speaker 1: and he so he changed the article and it was 260 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:56,679 Speaker 1: about me, and it changed my life overnight. I mean 261 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,079 Speaker 1: I went from a kid who had no idea what 262 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:00,960 Speaker 1: he was going to do with this, like dog said, 263 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 1: you knew and then I said in the article, I 264 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 1: said I wanted to do stand up and I had dads. 265 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: I respected that I grew up with like some of 266 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,160 Speaker 1: my friends dads and my uncle and my dad call 267 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 1: me and go. If you don't take this opportunity to 268 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 1: go for your dreams, now, you're gonna regret it your 269 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,079 Speaker 1: whole life. You're right back and go. I never took 270 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 1: enough swings, and so I said, screw it. I moved 271 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 1: to New York. I moved to New York and was 272 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: with no idea. I did stand up once and now 273 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:26,680 Speaker 1: in tallahassee right, I did twenty minutes after four comics 274 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,240 Speaker 1: that knew how to do stand up. In twenty minutes. 275 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 1: I was probably the funniest that night that I'll ever 276 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 1: be in my entire life. Wow. I was so raw. 277 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,559 Speaker 1: And and then I moved to New York and I 278 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,719 Speaker 1: was like screw it. I just you know, it's when 279 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:44,240 Speaker 1: you're ignorant, there's no better feeling, and just going like 280 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 1: screw it. I'm moved to New York. You don't know what, 281 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,719 Speaker 1: you don't know, you have no idea. It's bliss, just 282 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,000 Speaker 1: going like ah. And then I moved to New York. 283 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 1: And uh, and that's when the work started. Did Oprah 284 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,560 Speaker 1: reach out to you? Oprah reach out? She wrote, reached 285 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,079 Speaker 1: out and wanted to have me, but she wanted to 286 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,439 Speaker 1: have my parents on the show too, and my parents 287 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,199 Speaker 1: were like yes, but I was like, I think I 288 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,679 Speaker 1: don't think it's going to be a good interview. I 289 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 1: don't think that was their time to shine. 290 00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 3: They wanted to shine, they wanted some they wanted some 291 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,720 Speaker 3: spotlight forsell and. 292 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,959 Speaker 1: Was like, we'd love to have you on, one of 293 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 1: your parents on and my mom and dad would have 294 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:19,880 Speaker 1: totally done it and then just taken a bullet for me. 295 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 1: But it was, you know, in hindsight, I look back 296 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm glad I didn't do it. Really, 297 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 1: there's a lot I'm glad I didn't do in that time. 298 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:32,040 Speaker 1: And then kind of just focused and fell in love 299 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,319 Speaker 1: with stand up and learned stand. 300 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:38,640 Speaker 3: Upright, So a six year a six year student where 301 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 3: you're trying to be a professional student, what were your 302 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 3: parents say, like, son, are you going? 303 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,199 Speaker 1: Are you coming out of school? Are you going to graduate? 304 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,480 Speaker 1: At any point in time, it's okay to leave. It 305 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:48,960 Speaker 1: was first of all, was six and a half years, 306 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,200 Speaker 1: and second of all. No, it was First of all, 307 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:53,439 Speaker 1: it was like state schools. It was a state school. 308 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 1: It was like what fifty dollars of credit, So what 309 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:59,160 Speaker 1: was like seven hundred dollars for some masterco it was 310 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,959 Speaker 1: rent was a hundred. I mean we're talking. I'd get 311 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,959 Speaker 1: twenty bucks. I got made like twenty bucks doing I 312 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,839 Speaker 1: did safe escort where I walked ticks around campus and 313 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 1: I made and I was like rolling in cash and 314 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 1: I'd make twenty bucks a night, I think, And I 315 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:17,719 Speaker 1: was rolling cash. It was. Life was so great back then. Yes, 316 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 1: I mean for like, for like three thousand dollars, my 317 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 1: semester was covered, right and that and that's generous. I 318 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 1: mean books, I didn't. I didn't get books. Are you 319 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: kiding I'm not gonna get books. I'm barely going to classes. 320 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: Yeah I was. I was just like I'll figure it out. 321 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 1: I'll figure it out. No one ever pushed me to 322 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,280 Speaker 1: go what are you gonna do? And then the article, 323 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 1: the Rolling Stone article came out and I was like, 324 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 1: I'll just graduate. I literally was like, I'll just graduate 325 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 1: this semester. And so I just graduated. I had enough credits. 326 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 3: Had the article not come out, are you gonna stay 327 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 3: seven years, maybe seven and a half. 328 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,320 Speaker 1: If the article hadn't come out, I would have stayed. 329 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 1: I definitely would have stayed another another semester. I was 330 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 1: I was semestered by semester. I mean I would go 331 00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 1: semester and then drop it halfway through. I'd be like, 332 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 1: I'm don I got a head injury, drop it and 333 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,800 Speaker 1: then and then uh. But no, I would have stayed. 334 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 1: I just would have kept staying. And I and I 335 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 1: wonder what would have happened, like sliding doors, you know, 336 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 1: and you think like if you hadn't had that one 337 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 1: coach for you or for me, that one Rolling Star article, 338 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 1: if that hadn't come out, I always think I'd probably 339 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 1: be selling like boats in Orlando, or like RVs and 340 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 1: o'calla like something a fun a luxury item right that 341 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 1: brings fun. But it would have begin I would have 342 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:31,280 Speaker 1: been a great salesman. 343 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 3: What's your wildest door from Florida State? If you can 344 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 3: remember it? Or there are too many? Two remember? I 345 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 3: mean there's there's, I mean, there's it's Is. 346 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,520 Speaker 1: There anything that you don't remember? No? I remember a lot. 347 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,320 Speaker 1: You know, it's so funny. I hope this comes out 348 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 1: right before, before I got into this business, I wasn't 349 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 1: a self promoter. When I was at Florida State, the 350 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 1: fun thing was when someone told a story about you 351 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 1: and I kind of barely remembered it, like oh yeah, 352 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: and everyone laughed and like, dude, he's hysterical, right. And 353 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,040 Speaker 1: then when I got into this business, I realized, if 354 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 1: you're not promoting yourself, no one's promoting you. And I 355 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 1: watched it happen. I watched it happen with a few 356 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 1: of my friends or guys that were more successful. They 357 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 1: would talk about how great they were. I crushed on 358 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,320 Speaker 1: stage in this, and there was this. And I'm being 359 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 1: honest and it's not going to translate to people that 360 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 1: know me now, but I was very humble in college, 361 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 1: and I never talked about myself. I was wild, I 362 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 1: was crazy, I did insane stuff, and you know, but 363 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,760 Speaker 1: I never told stories about me in college. And it 364 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 1: wasn't until I got in a stand up where I 365 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 1: started telling about me and talking about me and like, oh, 366 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 1: me and my buddies took acid and went to Disneyland 367 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 1: and like stuff like that. And so it was a 368 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,840 Speaker 1: shift in my personality and I had to learn that 369 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,840 Speaker 1: and I think, I'm you know, I've done it, but 370 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 1: it is still an uncomfortable place. And I know that 371 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 1: sounds crazy coming from me, a very big self promoter. 372 00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,160 Speaker 1: But before that, I wasn't that guy. I was like, 373 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,000 Speaker 1: people told stories about me, and I had more of 374 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,320 Speaker 1: a lure about me, about what I had done and 375 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:05,160 Speaker 1: things I had. 376 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,800 Speaker 3: Done well, Because I think, isn't the job of a 377 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 3: comic is to take like true life events about themselves 378 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 3: or someone they know and make them funny. Yes, So 379 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 3: at that point in time, you're not a comedian, so 380 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 3: you just think you're just the fund you just burnt 381 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,440 Speaker 3: Christ that everybody likes to hang around, get drunk, have 382 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,040 Speaker 3: a great time, smoke. We Hey, we're gonna go knock 383 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,520 Speaker 3: some mailbox down. We're gonna go do some crazy stuff. 384 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:29,000 Speaker 3: So you're not really thinking that I could actually turn 385 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,639 Speaker 3: this into a job, an occupation and make money out 386 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 3: of it. 387 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,359 Speaker 1: The first time I realized I could do that was 388 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 1: about the story about Uh. I had a story about 389 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 1: this fight that I had witnessed and it was And 390 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:44,440 Speaker 1: what I did is I took two fights that I 391 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,879 Speaker 1: had seen in college and I combined them and I 392 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,080 Speaker 1: told her on stage and I remember this guy come 393 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:50,359 Speaker 1: up with me after the show and he was like 394 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,200 Speaker 1: that was amazing, and I was like hey yeah, and 395 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,480 Speaker 1: he goes, did that happen? And I go yeah, and 396 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 1: he was like shut up. And then I was like, 397 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 1: oh wait, I could do that again. And the next 398 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,320 Speaker 1: stor I told was taking Disney and taking sim go 399 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,320 Speaker 1: to Disney with my buddy Hutch and Harper, and I 400 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:06,639 Speaker 1: just told stories that were accurate from that. Harper was 401 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: not the brightest guy. I think he's in jail right now, 402 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:12,440 Speaker 1: but he was not the brightest guy. Uh. He mistimed 403 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:18,680 Speaker 1: the marijuana legalization and free Harper. And he one time 404 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 1: misspelled his name Happer for real on a note Happer 405 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,720 Speaker 1: two peas, and we go, yo, Harp, you misspelled your 406 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,200 Speaker 1: name and he goes, oh that happens. I go, no, 407 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:29,040 Speaker 1: it doesn't. I've never misspelled my name. Burf catch a 408 00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 1: later Burf and Hutch was like this, Hutch was this guy. 409 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 1: And that's when I think I really figured it started 410 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 1: finding my voice. Hunch was this guy that every story 411 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,400 Speaker 1: he told was wild. I met him we were playing 412 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:43,640 Speaker 1: disc golf and we're I was talking to Stick try 413 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,840 Speaker 1: to get a frisbee out of a tree and he goes, uh, you, 414 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 1: i'd be real careful. I said what, and he goes, well, 415 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 1: you know, when you look up, your mouth automatically opens. 416 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,919 Speaker 1: And I was like huh. And then I looked up. 417 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,959 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, it does, and he goes, yes, 418 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 1: stick's ab but to go right down your throat. I 419 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,639 Speaker 1: was like, honey, he goes happened to me twice, and 420 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 1: it did. He had when he was a kid, he 421 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,360 Speaker 1: threw a stick in the air and missed it and went, oh, 422 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,159 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna have to walk far for this stick. No, 423 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,200 Speaker 1: it looks like it's gonna lie. And so I just 424 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:13,320 Speaker 1: started taking these stories from my life and then plugging 425 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:16,600 Speaker 1: them on stage, and I was like oh. But then 426 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,760 Speaker 1: I was like, I realized, I gotta tell my own stories. Yes, 427 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,000 Speaker 1: I gotta be the worst thing that happened. I gotta 428 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,440 Speaker 1: tell the things that happened to me. I gotta tell. 429 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,280 Speaker 1: And I'm not I'm not a hot take guy. You 430 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 1: won't hear me talking about Venezuela anytime soon. I'm not 431 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,600 Speaker 1: going to talk to you about about trans rites or 432 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,080 Speaker 1: any of that shit. That's not my my thing. My 433 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,440 Speaker 1: thing is stories right, and so I had to take 434 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,200 Speaker 1: all these things I accrued. I'd go home and hang 435 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,879 Speaker 1: out with my boys and I just we'd sit and 436 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 1: talk and i'd hear them tell stories. I'd be like, 437 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 1: oh shit, that will work on stage. I gotta try 438 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,560 Speaker 1: that on stage. I mean, and now it's like I mean, 439 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 1: my wife was like when I had the best I 440 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,640 Speaker 1: ever was at stand up and I think I'm still 441 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,960 Speaker 1: really good. I am, But when I had two little 442 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,560 Speaker 1: kids at home and it was all all brand new 443 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 1: to me, and I get a call from my wife. 444 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 1: They're like, you're never gonna believe what your idiot daughter 445 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,880 Speaker 1: just did. And I mean she'd say it and I'd 446 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,439 Speaker 1: put it right on stage right, and it would murder. 447 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,800 Speaker 1: And then you structure them. You learn more about stand up, Yeah, 448 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,120 Speaker 1: and you'd structure them and you'd you'd place a thing 449 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,240 Speaker 1: here and then move this here, and oh man, it 450 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,920 Speaker 1: was like a gold It was like the gold rush 451 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:25,840 Speaker 1: of comedy for me. That kid, Isla Kreischer, my youngest daughter, 452 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:31,200 Speaker 1: made me millions of dollars. Wow, I mean million, a million. 453 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 1: At one point she told me a line one time 454 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 1: that I thought was the funniest thing I've ever heard 455 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,359 Speaker 1: in my It's in my new TV show. The line 456 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,560 Speaker 1: is in my new TV show. I stole it from 457 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,399 Speaker 1: her and I put it my new TV show. She 458 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,200 Speaker 1: said it to me, and I said, and I put 459 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,920 Speaker 1: it in my act and she goes, hey, you can't 460 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:53,879 Speaker 1: do that, and I went why. She goes, it's I 461 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,360 Speaker 1: said that to you. I didn't say that to the world, 462 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,000 Speaker 1: and I don't want the world knowing that I said that. 463 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,040 Speaker 1: And I went, yeah, but it's funny. She goes, it 464 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 1: doesn't matter. It was between me and you. I sa, 465 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,040 Speaker 1: I'll give you ten thousand dollars and she goes, now, 466 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,160 Speaker 1: so I'll give you fifty thousand dollars for this line. 467 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:12,359 Speaker 1: It was such a good line. She goes, no, I said, ilave, 468 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,000 Speaker 1: I'll give you one hundred thousand dollars for this line, 469 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,040 Speaker 1: and she goes, buddy, when you die, I get all 470 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:22,240 Speaker 1: the money that kid. 471 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 3: Why would I take on a hundred thousand dolls when 472 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:27,920 Speaker 3: I could get millions? 473 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 1: Like Oh, that kid goes through my rolexes and earmarks 474 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,879 Speaker 1: the one she wants. There's little eyes written on the 475 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 1: back of them, and kids got good taste. I'm wearing 476 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,360 Speaker 1: one of her watches right now you got the platinum. 477 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:43,120 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I see say why should I take? 478 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:46,640 Speaker 1: Why should I settle? Now? I get all this. Yeah, 479 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,840 Speaker 1: but you told a story anyway, I will know. I 480 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,400 Speaker 1: took it out of the special. You took it out 481 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,280 Speaker 1: because it was such a good line, and then I 482 00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 1: put it. I put it in my TV show. I 483 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,920 Speaker 1: said that, I said it. I but it's she said it. 484 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,399 Speaker 1: She said it, and it's like, who the what? Ten 485 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,440 Speaker 1: year old says this? It was such a wild line 486 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 1: that I was like, Ilah. She was like, what, you're 487 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,359 Speaker 1: not thinking it? I went, no, I am now. I 488 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 1: appreciate that. I took it on stage at night. I 489 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:12,720 Speaker 1: said it that night on stage at the store, I 490 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:18,760 Speaker 1: did this. We went to the this, uh this, I'll 491 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 1: tell you the line. I'll tell you gotta bleep it 492 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,040 Speaker 1: because it's in but it's in the new show. Just 493 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:25,440 Speaker 1: bleep the line. I'll tell you the line. And this, 494 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,200 Speaker 1: I mean this is a ten year old saying this 495 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 1: where George's and Leanne says, uh, goes, how long is this? 496 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,639 Speaker 1: I going a wrong? Mom? I go a bit? How 497 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,840 Speaker 1: long is this? Since she goes four hours? I go 498 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,639 Speaker 1: four hours? I go, we gotta stay for the whole thing, 499 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:40,159 Speaker 1: goes how long is she say? I go, I'll tell 500 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,160 Speaker 1: you we're we gonna stay for the whole thing. She goes, yeah, 501 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 1: we gotta stay for the whole thing. George. I go, 502 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,680 Speaker 1: that's it. She goes, yeah, I goes, how long is it? 503 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,360 Speaker 1: I go, it's four hours, ten years old. She goes, oh, 504 00:22:50,920 --> 00:23:02,119 Speaker 1: where's it when you need one? And I go, I 505 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 1: said what the She goes, what you were not thinking 506 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:07,080 Speaker 1: the same thing? I go, no, I am now, you 507 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,399 Speaker 1: know it never problem my mind. And so and so 508 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,159 Speaker 1: I took it on stage that night. I went to 509 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,720 Speaker 1: the store that night. I told her on stage and 510 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,720 Speaker 1: the room lost it. And I put it in that 511 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,399 Speaker 1: because I tell that story that and I tell that 512 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 1: and I kept that line in and then she heard it. 513 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:21,800 Speaker 1: She goes, yo, you got to take that out. I 514 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,440 Speaker 1: was like, why, baby, it's so funny. She goes, I 515 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,320 Speaker 1: nobody said that to you. She goes, I can't be 516 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 1: the girl this keep this in. This kid. When she 517 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,720 Speaker 1: she had a rule, she would come on this media 518 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 1: was different. Then kids would come on with the podcast 519 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 1: and just start talking in the middle. They'd be you know, 520 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 1: they see Joey did as one of my best friends 521 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,119 Speaker 1: and they say they know him as Uncle Joey, real uncle, 522 00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:43,840 Speaker 1: and they just come in and talk and they'd be 523 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,040 Speaker 1: on my Instagram and I had this thing where she said, 524 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,680 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be I were allowed to curse when we're 525 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,360 Speaker 1: when we when we turned sixteen, and Leanne's like, that's 526 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,520 Speaker 1: not a rule. She goes, it's the rule, mom, And 527 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:57,000 Speaker 1: she had said it enough that fans knew that at sixteen, 528 00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,399 Speaker 1: Ida was going to start cursing. So it's on her 529 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,399 Speaker 1: sixteenth birthday. We're having a party. They're sitting outside. I 530 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 1: got my phone and I'm looking at fans. I wish 531 00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:06,640 Speaker 1: I had to have a birthday, and all the fans 532 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,359 Speaker 1: comments are what's her first curse word gonna be? So 533 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,560 Speaker 1: I put the camera on her and I go, Ilah, 534 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 1: Happy birthday. She was sitting right next to land they're eating. 535 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,159 Speaker 1: I go, hey, the fans want to know, what's your 536 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,240 Speaker 1: first curse word going to be? And she looks at 537 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 1: Leanne and looks at the camera and goes, and I 538 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,480 Speaker 1: go awesome. I posted online that night. She wakes me 539 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:25,840 Speaker 1: up at like two in the morning. She goes, take 540 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,440 Speaker 1: it offline. I said what She goes take it offline. 541 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,560 Speaker 1: It's got six million views already, and I said, are 542 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,399 Speaker 1: you shitting me? She goes, ted, Dad, I will not 543 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,040 Speaker 1: be the cunt girl for the rest of my life 544 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,639 Speaker 1: because that's all they would have done, is like just 545 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 1: taking the I mean she she got caught shooting dice 546 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,919 Speaker 1: at school. One time, she got caught shooting dice at 547 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 1: school and Leanne called me. The principal called Leanne had 548 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,440 Speaker 1: to go pick her up. And Leanne called on the podcast. 549 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:51,960 Speaker 1: She goes, Yo, I'm going to pick your daughter up. 550 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,880 Speaker 1: I go, I'm with Tom. I go wy, and she goes, 551 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,200 Speaker 1: your daughter got caught shooting dice at school. And I mean, 552 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:01,880 Speaker 1: this kid was a gold mine for me. And what's 553 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,000 Speaker 1: even better is her older sister. I had a really 554 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,359 Speaker 1: smart British comic. I forget his name, but he's really smart. 555 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:11,680 Speaker 1: He reads a lot and uh and he goes, can 556 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,879 Speaker 1: I can I tell you about your daughters? And I 557 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,359 Speaker 1: was like yeah, and he goes, is your muse, but 558 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,880 Speaker 1: Georgia is your Jimmy Cricket. I don't know what that means, 559 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,080 Speaker 1: but apparently Jimmy Cricket I don't even know what that means. 560 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 1: But like Georgia always was the one that would break 561 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:33,639 Speaker 1: down what I like, like, Isla one time, Liann this, 562 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,280 Speaker 1: I just we were just talking about this. The other day, 563 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:42,560 Speaker 1: both girls were home and Leanne went up Vietnam and 564 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,359 Speaker 1: I had to take care of both girls for like 565 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,240 Speaker 1: a week. And Georgia just Georgia had the sense of humor. 566 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,320 Speaker 1: She goes, Yo, you're gonna check to see what your 567 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,800 Speaker 1: youngest daughter made for lunch. And I go, no, you 568 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,440 Speaker 1: guys take care of your own lunches. And she goes, 569 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,920 Speaker 1: you may want to look now. Georgia's got the insight 570 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 1: to see what's happening, right. I go, Isla, what did 571 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,159 Speaker 1: you make for lunch? And she goes, bag of ice? What? 572 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,520 Speaker 1: She goes, just bag of ice and Georgia goes nod. 573 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,919 Speaker 1: She steams it extra long and throws it in her 574 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,639 Speaker 1: backpack and doesn't eat it with a fork knife, just 575 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 1: eats it with her hands. And I go, she goes 576 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,359 Speaker 1: like she's building the railroads. Dad like what And I go, 577 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,719 Speaker 1: I love, don't you think that's missing something? And she goes, oh, 578 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,520 Speaker 1: soy sauce. And I was like, wait what, But Georgia 579 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,399 Speaker 1: would see it point it out to me. And then 580 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:23,920 Speaker 1: I would talk about it. I mean Georgia. One time, 581 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:25,480 Speaker 1: one of the best stories I had for a long 582 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 1: time was I closed on it on One of my 583 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:32,160 Speaker 1: specials was the girls for their birthdays are real close. 584 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:33,880 Speaker 1: The girls for their birthday wanted to take my parents 585 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,280 Speaker 1: to an escape room to watch my dad lose his shit. 586 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,000 Speaker 1: And one time I'm on stage, I'm getting when I'm 587 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,280 Speaker 1: really focused, when I'm getting ready for a special and 588 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:43,920 Speaker 1: I'm on stage by I get a call from Georgia. 589 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,199 Speaker 1: She's in college. And so you always answer when your 590 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,160 Speaker 1: kids call, yeah, I'm on stage, even though you'll stage 591 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,360 Speaker 1: you ask one hundred percent. I answer if anyone calls 592 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,480 Speaker 1: on on the stage. Shaq called me he was taking 593 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:55,879 Speaker 1: a shit FaceTime. That's true, Shaq, No, that's true, and 594 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 1: there's probably video of that. Shaq facetimed me and he 595 00:26:58,440 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 1: was like, yo, what's up. I was like, what are 596 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,119 Speaker 1: you doing? I go on on stage. He's like, oh, 597 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 1: I'm taking a shit. So that's true and so U 598 00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:07,560 Speaker 1: but she goes, she goes, what are you talking about? 599 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,200 Speaker 1: And I said, I'm looking for a closer, and she goes, 600 00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:12,720 Speaker 1: have you told the escape room story? I said, no, 601 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,640 Speaker 1: what was it? And she goes, you remember we went 602 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,000 Speaker 1: to the escape room and it wasn't like in a 603 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,840 Speaker 1: strip mall was on Lancasham and I was like, oh, yeah, 604 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:20,520 Speaker 1: she's like in that creepy dude's house that had the 605 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: robe with the cat and he was looking for his mom. 606 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:23,960 Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, and you thought that we 607 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,120 Speaker 1: were getting kidnapped, And she broke down the story for me. Wow, 608 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,680 Speaker 1: and I went, ah, I'll call you right back, and 609 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,199 Speaker 1: then I told the story to the people and then 610 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,040 Speaker 1: I was like Jesus Christ, like, I feel like I'm 611 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 1: a conduit for my family sometimes and I'm going to 612 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:40,280 Speaker 1: pour another drink. How do we do that? I'm having 613 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:43,480 Speaker 1: the greatest time in my life? Is that clear? Did? 614 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,719 Speaker 1: Do you think your kids are ever follow your footsteps? Never? 615 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,399 Speaker 1: Why not? They have no interest in celebrity, they have 616 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:54,040 Speaker 1: no interest in stand up. They've seen how the sausage 617 00:27:54,119 --> 00:28:00,200 Speaker 1: is made, and so you know there, they're, for lack 618 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,760 Speaker 1: of better words, they're I say uncles. I wouldn't say 619 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:08,320 Speaker 1: it's uncles. It's not that close, right, But they toured 620 00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,320 Speaker 1: with me on fully Loaded, and so like guys like 621 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 1: Staby and Mark Norman and Shane Gillis and Joey Diaz 622 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:18,560 Speaker 1: and Salvolcano and all the guys that Whitney and NICKI 623 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:22,000 Speaker 1: are like like genuine aunts to them, right, and and 624 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:26,359 Speaker 1: they know them intimately and they see our lifestyle. We 625 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 1: were on tour one time. It's me. I think it's 626 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:33,360 Speaker 1: me Gillis and Mark Norman, Big j Okersen Whitney Andrew Santino, 627 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:36,280 Speaker 1: Stabby and we're all sitting at a table. You know, 628 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,800 Speaker 1: when you do arena as you cater you get catering there, 629 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 1: so you go. We're sitting at a table, it's like 630 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,920 Speaker 1: a lunch table, and we're all eating breakfast. My daughters 631 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:46,000 Speaker 1: are there, and we have the funniest comedians in the 632 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:51,479 Speaker 1: world in the world at ten am, drinking coffee, busting balls, 633 00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:55,880 Speaker 1: telling stories and we are crying laughing. We're crying laughing, 634 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 1: and then we get we're about to take mushrooms and 635 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,120 Speaker 1: smoke weed and get an inner tubes and flow to 636 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 1: river in Boise before the show that night that sold 637 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:10,800 Speaker 1: out in an arena, right, and my daughter Georgia, Everyone's like, 638 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,400 Speaker 1: all right, let's get a bathing stit talk, let's go 639 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,000 Speaker 1: all right, We're going, And I was like, I'm gonna 640 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,760 Speaker 1: finish up. I'll meet you guys out there, and I'm 641 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,120 Speaker 1: my daughter. Georgia doesn't leave and she's sitting at the 642 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,040 Speaker 1: table like this, like I go, what's up? She was like, 643 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,400 Speaker 1: that was incredible. I go. She goes, I've never laughed 644 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 1: that hard in my life, and I go, we you 645 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,880 Speaker 1: gotta remember, my friends are the funniest human beings in 646 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:33,600 Speaker 1: the world. They're not just like casuals, right, They're actually 647 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,920 Speaker 1: the funniest human beings in the world. She goes, that 648 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:40,600 Speaker 1: was incredible, Dad, that was amazing. And then she looked 649 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,920 Speaker 1: at me and she goes, no, wonder you never came home. 650 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,440 Speaker 1: Shane goes, my favorite is one of my favorite stories. 651 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,400 Speaker 1: But like what it's like to be with these guys. 652 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 1: This is my favorite story. So the first wee year 653 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 1: we do fully loaded. Maybe the second year George it 654 00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:58,200 Speaker 1: brings a friend Daisy. They're like eighteen nineteen years old 655 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,440 Speaker 1: and uh, Shane, yeah, okay, you know who is So 656 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,600 Speaker 1: Shane Gillis is not famous at the time. He's just 657 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,720 Speaker 1: Shane and he's he's the best hang in the world, right, 658 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,040 Speaker 1: So he goes up the very last night, he goes 659 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,640 Speaker 1: up to George and Daisy, and he goes, hey, you 660 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 1: grow sneaking beers and they're like no, and he goes, 661 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,800 Speaker 1: come on, I'm not gonna tell on you sneaking beers. 662 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:19,920 Speaker 1: And they're like, no, we're not. And he goes, guys, 663 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,520 Speaker 1: I was your age once. Okay, I'm not some nark. 664 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:28,320 Speaker 1: I'm cool. I'm Shane. You go sneaking beers And they go, yeah, 665 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:31,280 Speaker 1: we're sneaking beers and he sits right next to him. 666 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:36,440 Speaker 1: He goes, Georgia sneaking beers. Oh man, those that fully 667 00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,600 Speaker 1: loaded was funny shit. So what what type of kid 668 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 1: were you in high school? Very serious athlete? Were you? Yeah? 669 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:47,680 Speaker 1: Very serious? What'd you play baseball? You know in Florida? 670 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,480 Speaker 1: Where'd you grow up? I'd grew up with Georgia, Georgia, okay, 671 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:55,560 Speaker 1: and Florida it was either baseball, baseball and football. Basketball 672 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,480 Speaker 1: in the basketball crossed over with baseball a little bit, 673 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,800 Speaker 1: but it was either football baseball. You some guys played both. 674 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,280 Speaker 1: But baseball was so serious in Florida that we played 675 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 1: winter ball, fall ball, spring ball. You played baseball all 676 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:09,280 Speaker 1: year round. And so I was really focused on baseball. 677 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:14,000 Speaker 1: And and uh, and I got recruited to go play 678 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,720 Speaker 1: at the Citadel and at Duke. I remember a Duke. 679 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,400 Speaker 1: I knew a guy that got had great like that 680 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 1: to get into No no no, and I was I 681 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:22,880 Speaker 1: said to the guy, I was like, yo, how does 682 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:24,640 Speaker 1: that work? Like I'm not and he goes, oh, we 683 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,080 Speaker 1: get you with tutor. And I was like, I'm going 684 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,240 Speaker 1: to pass. And then the Citadel, I was like, do 685 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:30,640 Speaker 1: I have to cut my hair? And they're like absolutely, 686 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: I go I'm going to pass. I was like, I'll 687 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,480 Speaker 1: walk on to Florida State and I walked on one 688 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:40,960 Speaker 1: day and walked off immediately. What happened. Coach Martin saw 689 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,880 Speaker 1: a pledge pin on my shirt and he goes, you 690 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,280 Speaker 1: can take that ship off right now. And I was like, huh. 691 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 1: He's like, we don't party on the baseball team. You 692 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:52,080 Speaker 1: play baseball, you don't play. Yeah, they did. They did. 693 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,640 Speaker 1: And I was a catcher and his son, who ended 694 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: up playing for the Expos was a catcher also and 695 00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,400 Speaker 1: my age and he was like, you can go catch 696 00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:03,480 Speaker 1: bullpen and I remember walking to the bullpen. I don't 697 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,400 Speaker 1: know what it's like when you retired, but when you 698 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:09,000 Speaker 1: take sports seriously and you realize you're giving up something 699 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,800 Speaker 1: you spent your entire life focusing on I had my 700 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:15,160 Speaker 1: baseball bag, I was in a uniform, and I walked 701 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,719 Speaker 1: to the bullpen and I stood there and no one 702 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,440 Speaker 1: really talked to me, and I went, I don't know 703 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:23,280 Speaker 1: if I want to spend four years being a bullpen catcher. 704 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,520 Speaker 1: I'm not going to beat out his sun for the position. 705 00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,560 Speaker 1: And I walked right back to Sally Hall to room 706 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,120 Speaker 1: one to eleven, and my buddy Chili, Willy and Paul 707 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,960 Speaker 1: were smoking weed and they're doing this thing called time 708 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:37,680 Speaker 1: traveling where they played pink Floyd and they had tinfoil 709 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 1: with holes poked in it so it looked like stars. 710 00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:43,040 Speaker 1: And I sat with my uniform and cleats and hat 711 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,240 Speaker 1: on and I smoked weed, and I looked at the 712 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:47,520 Speaker 1: sky and I went, I'm dumb with sports. I was like, 713 00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,320 Speaker 1: I think I'm going to focus on this partying thing. 714 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:53,520 Speaker 1: And it worked out at Crazy. I got buddies who 715 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 1: played ball their whole lives. Danny Graves, I just ran in. 716 00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:59,040 Speaker 1: Danny Graves recently was my age. Brad Radkey pitched for 717 00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:01,280 Speaker 1: the Twins. Yea, I want to side a Young Award 718 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:05,040 Speaker 1: And their lives ended at like thirty years old and 719 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:08,240 Speaker 1: my life didn't start until forty four. It's kind of crazy. 720 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:12,640 Speaker 1: It's I picked the right profession. But you know, sports 721 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,440 Speaker 1: is like I was so serious about sports, and I 722 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 1: was funny, but I wasn't funny until I got to 723 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:19,600 Speaker 1: college and gave up on sports, right. 724 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:22,760 Speaker 3: Because you can focus because you really focused on sports 725 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,200 Speaker 3: because that's what you really wanted to do. 726 00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then when I it was like, when I 727 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,840 Speaker 1: got to college, I joined the fraternity ato and uh, 728 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:36,440 Speaker 1: and I was I realized. And I'm cool saying this 729 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,680 Speaker 1: now because obviously I'm a successful comedian, but I realized. 730 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:42,520 Speaker 1: My dad said to me when I was a kid, 731 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:46,800 Speaker 1: I said, how come no one talks about me playing 732 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:50,160 Speaker 1: baseball the way they do Brad rad Key. I mean 733 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,600 Speaker 1: everyone talked about Brad. Everyone would be like, he's going 734 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,040 Speaker 1: to go pro. He's going to go I mean when 735 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:58,880 Speaker 1: we were kids, He's going to go pro. And my 736 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:01,280 Speaker 1: dad said, buddy, it you just don't have that. That's 737 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,720 Speaker 1: not your thing. He goes, lookt Brad's thing is baseball. 738 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,640 Speaker 1: It's sports. Hey, go buddy, your goal in life is 739 00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:10,400 Speaker 1: to find your thing the way Brad found baseball. Correct, 740 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,880 Speaker 1: when you find that and you're just undeniable. You're just 741 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:14,799 Speaker 1: He didn't use undeniable as a word, but he goes, 742 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:18,399 Speaker 1: your thing is like Brad's. That's when you'll know that's 743 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:22,000 Speaker 1: your thing. And the first time I did stand up, 744 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:23,680 Speaker 1: I knew it. But when I was in that fraternity 745 00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,759 Speaker 1: and I was so much funnier then. I was so 746 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:32,200 Speaker 1: quick and like we'd have chapter and they'd say something 747 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,640 Speaker 1: and I could think of the best joke in the 748 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:39,200 Speaker 1: room quicker than anyone we were doing. I mean, I'm 749 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:40,840 Speaker 1: just going to tell you one joke, but this was 750 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:42,960 Speaker 1: the one of the funniest things I said in college. 751 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:47,480 Speaker 1: You had three strikes in the chapter and you got 752 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,840 Speaker 1: kicked out correct And for me, it was three jokes. 753 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:53,279 Speaker 1: And we had we had we had homecoming with with 754 00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:57,279 Speaker 1: Theta Theta that year, and Eddie Fernandez stood up and 755 00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:59,839 Speaker 1: he was homecoming chairman, because guy's time to talk about 756 00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:01,840 Speaker 1: home coming. And I made a joke about Theta and 757 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:06,760 Speaker 1: everyone laughed, and our president goes, hey, it's one strike. 758 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:10,600 Speaker 1: I went okay, And he said another thing about data, 759 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,000 Speaker 1: and I made another quick joke and everyone laughed, and 760 00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,360 Speaker 1: he goes, that's two strikes. And he goes, Burt Chrysler. 761 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,000 Speaker 1: If I hear one more joke about THETA, I'm going 762 00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,759 Speaker 1: to kick your ass out of here. And I did. 763 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,480 Speaker 1: I waited one beat and I went to Theda's walking 764 00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:28,920 Speaker 1: a bar and the place went bananas bananas, and he 765 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,160 Speaker 1: laughed hysterically. He's like, you gotta leave, you gotta left, 766 00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:33,440 Speaker 1: so good, you gotta leave. It's just but it's like, 767 00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,520 Speaker 1: I mean, we went to Clemson. We went to Clemson, 768 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,240 Speaker 1: Florida State. We took a road trip, and a boss. 769 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,839 Speaker 1: At the very beginning leaving Tallahassee, someone's like, Burt, get 770 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,279 Speaker 1: on the mic and just and do some stand up. 771 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,040 Speaker 1: I didn't know what it was. I did stand up 772 00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,640 Speaker 1: for the entire ride to Clemson. I just talked in 773 00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,560 Speaker 1: that thing and I just was like And then when 774 00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:53,839 Speaker 1: I did stand up for the first time, I called 775 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:55,719 Speaker 1: I remember calling my dad before cell phones. I went 776 00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,759 Speaker 1: home and I called my dad and I said, I 777 00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,440 Speaker 1: think I found my thing the way Brad had baseball. 778 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:04,040 Speaker 1: This is my thing. So, so, were you popular with 779 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,200 Speaker 1: the girls in high school in college? Yes, this is 780 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:09,480 Speaker 1: where I'm gonna I'm gonna fuck you up. Yes, what 781 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:15,800 Speaker 1: but but I had a really bad experience losing my virginity. 782 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:20,120 Speaker 1: So I was, I was so I but it was horrific. 783 00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:24,279 Speaker 1: It was like it was it was I mean, I 784 00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,120 Speaker 1: couldn't get the condumn on. And then and then when 785 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,839 Speaker 1: I finally got it on, I got on top of her. 786 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:31,080 Speaker 1: And then and then I had my pants around my ankles, 787 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:32,920 Speaker 1: my shoes on, my baseball jacket still on. I think 788 00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:34,520 Speaker 1: I had a hat on. I mean, it was like 789 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,160 Speaker 1: and she was totally naked. It was like just so bad. 790 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:38,719 Speaker 1: And then I got on top of her. This is 791 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:42,040 Speaker 1: real time. I go one right and as I pull out, 792 00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:45,080 Speaker 1: it's over. It's over. I'm done. And I look at 793 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:46,719 Speaker 1: her and she goes, are you gonna put it in? 794 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,120 Speaker 1: And I went huh, And I looked down and between 795 00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:51,920 Speaker 1: her but cheek and the bed. I need a person. 796 00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,600 Speaker 1: I need a person. And then and then and then 797 00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,640 Speaker 1: but it gets worse, It gets worse, and I'll spare 798 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:01,600 Speaker 1: you all the because you're not gonna understand it. But like, 799 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:05,120 Speaker 1: but like it gets so bad, so bad. I mean, 800 00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:09,200 Speaker 1: it's so bad, so bad, so bad. I mean, I 801 00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,520 Speaker 1: then I've got just had sex with her with a condom. 802 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:13,239 Speaker 1: I already compromised. It's like going to on a hike 803 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,000 Speaker 1: and just getting your feet all nice and wet before 804 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,399 Speaker 1: you go on the hike. It said, it wasn't fun. 805 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:17,960 Speaker 1: And then I got done and the condom was still 806 00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:20,160 Speaker 1: in there, and I was like, it was so bad 807 00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:22,880 Speaker 1: that came up and and I got I pulled out 808 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:24,400 Speaker 1: and I was like, fuck, we're done. And then I 809 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:26,200 Speaker 1: look and it's just sitting between her legs and I 810 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,480 Speaker 1: was like, no, I don't think that's where it's supposed 811 00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,360 Speaker 1: to be. And now I'm doing tug of war with this. 812 00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:33,239 Speaker 1: It was so bad, Shannon that when I got done, 813 00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:37,280 Speaker 1: I looked in the mirror in this bathroom in Carrollwood. 814 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:41,480 Speaker 1: I looked in the mirror and I went, I don't 815 00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:44,279 Speaker 1: even know who the you are. It was seventeen years old. 816 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,160 Speaker 1: I was like, this isn't what was supposed to happen. 817 00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:50,279 Speaker 1: Did you get a do over? No? I mean I did. 818 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:54,560 Speaker 1: I had sex with her again once twice actually, and 819 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,960 Speaker 1: it never got better. It just damn just sucked. I 820 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:01,080 Speaker 1: sucked so bad at it. I was I was not. 821 00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,439 Speaker 1: I just came so fast. It was like the truth. 822 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:06,160 Speaker 1: I would come so fast that I knew that I 823 00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,799 Speaker 1: did that. And so then from that moment on I said, 824 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:12,440 Speaker 1: all right, I'm only doing this with chicks that I trust, 825 00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:14,759 Speaker 1: like I love and I fall in love with and 826 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,840 Speaker 1: I know that this that we're gonna date. And so 827 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,839 Speaker 1: I've only been with six chicks, my wife being one 828 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,400 Speaker 1: of them, and so I just I just because you 829 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,840 Speaker 1: done with the condoms. After day, I was, well, no, no, no, 830 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,160 Speaker 1: I can still use condoms. I just I was just 831 00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:31,520 Speaker 1: like I was like, I'm not a one night stand guy. 832 00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:36,239 Speaker 1: Oh I'm not. I'm I'm just not. And I was 833 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,759 Speaker 1: I'm not built for it. Like I remember being seventeen 834 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:41,759 Speaker 1: and I was laying in bed. I had dudes who 835 00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:46,160 Speaker 1: would have sex and then like no condom and just 836 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,920 Speaker 1: be like yeah and high five each other. That was awesome. 837 00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:51,080 Speaker 1: And I was the guy like, what if we get AIDS? 838 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:56,840 Speaker 1: Like what I like laying in bed, going I'm seventeen 839 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:58,960 Speaker 1: years old? What if I get AIDS? What if I'm 840 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,080 Speaker 1: not ready to get AIDS? Like I was like, I'm 841 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,400 Speaker 1: got a full blown AIDS at seventeen, and I might 842 00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:05,399 Speaker 1: have a baby. My baby's gonna have AIDS. I'm don't 843 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,839 Speaker 1: have the BAIDS baby, and I'm seventeen, and I mean, 844 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,360 Speaker 1: I just I was, I was not cut out for it. 845 00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:14,400 Speaker 1: When the second I met my wife and I knew 846 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,279 Speaker 1: she was the one, that's when sex for me it 847 00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:19,680 Speaker 1: was it was like it was like all of a sudden, 848 00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:22,120 Speaker 1: it was like all the fun, all the care, all 849 00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:26,279 Speaker 1: the stress about it was gone. I mean, I don't 850 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:29,439 Speaker 1: think there's a lot of men like me. No. I agree, Yeah, 851 00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,320 Speaker 1: it's hard to the only one unicorns. It's hard to 852 00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:36,800 Speaker 1: it's hard to for people to get But like I 853 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:40,400 Speaker 1: just was, I just I did not get good at sex. 854 00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,960 Speaker 1: And I mean, I'm today, I was not good. I 855 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,759 Speaker 1: was like dad today, I was. She hadn't. I had 856 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:48,799 Speaker 1: sex with my wife in my room. We have two 857 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,480 Speaker 1: different bedrooms. Yeah, we're in a sleep divorce. She came in. 858 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:53,560 Speaker 1: We had sex, and I thought I was doing this 859 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:57,160 Speaker 1: manly thing where I was holding onto the bed frame. Yeah, yeah, 860 00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,560 Speaker 1: getting LeVert. Yeah. And then I got done having sex 861 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:00,840 Speaker 1: and I put my shirt on and I was like, 862 00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:02,960 Speaker 1: I haven't put on the odor in a week, and 863 00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:04,759 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, you were smelling that. She was 864 00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:08,239 Speaker 1: like it was pretty aggressive. I was this raw dog 865 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:16,839 Speaker 1: and her like state that sent if my sex tape 866 00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,440 Speaker 1: ever comes out, I mean I was in a I 867 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,160 Speaker 1: was in a three way this weekend on Oculus? Have 868 00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:26,239 Speaker 1: you been Oculus? Yes? I sucked in that. I kept 869 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:30,359 Speaker 1: making an awkward eye contact with him, like, is this real? 870 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,200 Speaker 1: Is this real? Dude? That Oculus man? That that that 871 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,560 Speaker 1: takes a part of your soul. So did you have 872 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,360 Speaker 1: a girlfriend in college? I did? She cheated on me, 873 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,920 Speaker 1: my best my best friend, and well, how was he 874 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,279 Speaker 1: your Hello? Did he know that was your girlfriend? Yeah? 875 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,200 Speaker 1: We tated for like four years. Yeah, and he knew 876 00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:49,919 Speaker 1: he was my roommate. Yeah, oh my goodness. Yeah yeah yeah, 877 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,560 Speaker 1: So what did you did? I say, Bro? How you 878 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:55,600 Speaker 1: do that? Man? You my roommate? Bro? How you do that? Yeah? 879 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,960 Speaker 1: We didn't talk for a while, and then, uh, I'll 880 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,359 Speaker 1: tell you something cool. I still love this. I've known 881 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,879 Speaker 1: this guy his whole life, and it's look, I don't 882 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,439 Speaker 1: talk to that woman. I've known this guy for too long. 883 00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:10,640 Speaker 1: He he this is I don't know. This is this 884 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,920 Speaker 1: is guys, maybe you'll get this. And we've been in 885 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:15,799 Speaker 1: touch since I moved to New York. We kept in touch. 886 00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:18,080 Speaker 1: We hit back and I'd hang out with him every 887 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,200 Speaker 1: now and then. And then I hadn't been back to 888 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,040 Speaker 1: a Florida State game. And then I went back to 889 00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:25,759 Speaker 1: Florida State Syracuse like two years ago, three years ago, 890 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:27,960 Speaker 1: and he goes, hey, I want to set you up 891 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,239 Speaker 1: with the athletic director because he's still big at Florida State, 892 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,920 Speaker 1: and they've got a thing special thing planned, and they did. 893 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,359 Speaker 1: They've had this video of me talking about how much 894 00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:37,320 Speaker 1: Florida State means to me and about the Indian speer 895 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:42,239 Speaker 1: in the in the seminole, in the Chief Renegade with 896 00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:44,960 Speaker 1: Chief Osceola. And then they bring me out to the 897 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:48,320 Speaker 1: center of the field and fucking Renegade comes out and 898 00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,839 Speaker 1: rears up and the burning spear goes in and I'm 899 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,280 Speaker 1: crying and they take me up and I meet the President, 900 00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,800 Speaker 1: I meet you know, I just have the time and 901 00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,279 Speaker 1: we're like wow. And my buddy calls me and he goes, hey, 902 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:03,040 Speaker 1: are we good now? No, I go, I We're good. 903 00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:08,239 Speaker 1: How did you find out? Though? Uh? She kind of 904 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,759 Speaker 1: told me. She told me in stages. She's like, we 905 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,640 Speaker 1: might have hooked up, we might have kissed, And then 906 00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:13,759 Speaker 1: next thing, you know, it was like a little more 907 00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:15,200 Speaker 1: than that, little more than that, little more than that, 908 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,239 Speaker 1: and then by that by that time and you gotta 909 00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:20,120 Speaker 1: realize I'd only been with two chicks right at that time, 910 00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:23,480 Speaker 1: the first girl and her right and I and and 911 00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:26,680 Speaker 1: I don't. I'm certain you've probably never been the word 912 00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:29,080 Speaker 1: as a cuckold, but it is, you know, it is 913 00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:31,719 Speaker 1: an embarrassing feeling to be cheated on and everyone know 914 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:34,640 Speaker 1: about it, but you and but me, and everyone knew 915 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,960 Speaker 1: about it. That happened all summer and everyone knew about it. 916 00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:38,680 Speaker 1: And ain't nobody tell how long? No one told me 917 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,560 Speaker 1: how many friends you have? You did you have any friends? 918 00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:43,440 Speaker 1: Clearly they're not as close as you thought it were. 919 00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,120 Speaker 1: My childhood friend, the guy I grew up with, I've 920 00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,239 Speaker 1: known since I was like probably four years old, Pat 921 00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:51,040 Speaker 1: fag And found out about it and said, if you guys, 922 00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,000 Speaker 1: don't tell him, I'm telling him. But everyone kind of 923 00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,799 Speaker 1: knew about it, and I didn't know about it as 924 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,440 Speaker 1: a matter of fact, on that trip to Clemson. Yeah, 925 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,840 Speaker 1: I'm telling you about Yeah. I found out the weekend 926 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:03,759 Speaker 1: after the weekend after that trip, the day Monday when 927 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:05,200 Speaker 1: we came home. I found out that Monday. 928 00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:10,000 Speaker 3: And so we have a situation that you weren't there, 929 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:13,120 Speaker 3: but he was. She was there waiting for you. To 930 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:14,560 Speaker 3: get back and he was there. 931 00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,200 Speaker 1: I'm certain. I mean, it's like, you know, it's it's 932 00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:22,840 Speaker 1: so it's so devastating to be cheated on and to 933 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,400 Speaker 1: have a community know about it and you not know 934 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:30,799 Speaker 1: about it, that it really kind of it really, Uh, 935 00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:34,799 Speaker 1: it's it's defining, it's it's traumatic. It's you know, they say, 936 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:36,920 Speaker 1: what is it? Rejection from your peers is worse than 937 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:41,080 Speaker 1: death is, you know? And uh, and then you just 938 00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,000 Speaker 1: start You had to reassess your friends. You had to 939 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,640 Speaker 1: reassess who you loved and who you didn't love, and 940 00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:47,160 Speaker 1: who cared about and who you didn't trust anymore. And 941 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,200 Speaker 1: then uh, and then they have friends and you don't 942 00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,799 Speaker 1: have those friends anymore. And you know, I got beat 943 00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:55,799 Speaker 1: up by a friend too one time, and that same 944 00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,560 Speaker 1: thing happened where it's like you pick sides. And by 945 00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,560 Speaker 1: the way, I'm certain you've never beaten up, but like 946 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,520 Speaker 1: getting beaten up is like you got beat up. I've 947 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,360 Speaker 1: been beating up. So you got your girl to it 948 00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:08,719 Speaker 1: and you got beat up. A couple of years later, 949 00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:10,719 Speaker 1: it's a different, different guy. It's a different guy I 950 00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:14,600 Speaker 1: met good friends. Did it hurt bert? Did it hurt more? 951 00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,360 Speaker 3: Because it was a friend, yes, because as opposed to 952 00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:20,320 Speaker 3: someone you don't you don't know, and it happened. But 953 00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:23,480 Speaker 3: the mere fact that he knew that you were seeing her, 954 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:26,520 Speaker 3: she knew that that was your roommate, and they still 955 00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,280 Speaker 3: like had blatant disregard for your feelings. 956 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:34,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh, it was devastating. It was devastating. It was devastating. 957 00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,560 Speaker 1: And you know what's very interesting about this story is 958 00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:39,800 Speaker 1: I had just come back from Russia, which is probably 959 00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,480 Speaker 1: my most famous story about getting involved with Russian mafia. 960 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:46,520 Speaker 1: So a lot of people are always like, they go, hey, 961 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:48,200 Speaker 1: you went to college with Bert They ever tell you 962 00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:50,520 Speaker 1: that story? And like I said, it wasn't a big 963 00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:53,160 Speaker 1: self promoter in college. But more importantly, when I got 964 00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:55,920 Speaker 1: back from Russia, my reality was that I had been 965 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:59,200 Speaker 1: cheated on. So I wouldn't telling people anyone about my trip. 966 00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:02,120 Speaker 1: I was like, yo, I'm devastated. I remember my buddy 967 00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:05,319 Speaker 1: Mike Osborne. This is when my drinking really ramped up too. 968 00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:09,960 Speaker 1: My buddy Mike Osborne, God bless bros. He gets in 969 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,000 Speaker 1: his car with me and he goes, I don't know 970 00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,120 Speaker 1: what to tell you, man, this sucks. And I was 971 00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:16,759 Speaker 1: like yeah, and he goes, I can tell you this though, 972 00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,279 Speaker 1: if we get a twelve pack four beers in, it's 973 00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:21,320 Speaker 1: gonna feel better. And I was like, let's do it. 974 00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:22,680 Speaker 1: And we got a twelve pack. We went over to 975 00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:26,200 Speaker 1: Clint Mun's house and we drank twelve beers and both 976 00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,600 Speaker 1: between us and it's six beers. I go, I don't 977 00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,560 Speaker 1: feel that bad anymore, right, And he goes, well, then 978 00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:33,040 Speaker 1: we'll do it tomorrow night. And then and he's like, 979 00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,399 Speaker 1: I'll be here with you every night. I love when 980 00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,920 Speaker 1: the guys Billy Gardell, my daughter fell one time, broker Jare. 981 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:39,520 Speaker 1: We were on the road. Billy Gardell one of the best, 982 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,640 Speaker 1: Big Billy, I'll drink in but Mike and Mikey, Billy 983 00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:46,839 Speaker 1: Gardell says to me, buddy, you get on a plane tomorrow. Okay, 984 00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:49,279 Speaker 1: Now you gotta be a dad when you get there. 985 00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:51,800 Speaker 1: Now there's two choices. One, we get you back to 986 00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:53,080 Speaker 1: the hotel room, we put you in bed, you get 987 00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:54,239 Speaker 1: a good night. So you get on that plane, you 988 00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,800 Speaker 1: go home, you take care of your little girl. Number two. Obviously, 989 00:45:58,200 --> 00:45:59,640 Speaker 1: we go to the bar and we drink until we 990 00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,040 Speaker 1: get you that plane. Whichever one you pick, I'm in. 991 00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:03,839 Speaker 1: And I was like, I want number two, and he goes, 992 00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:06,680 Speaker 1: and me and Billy sat at a bar until like 993 00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:08,600 Speaker 1: five in the morning, goes, let's get you on the plane, 994 00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:10,880 Speaker 1: and that's I love a guy like that. 995 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:17,480 Speaker 3: You National Lampum's Van Wilder. Ryan Reynolds played that that's 996 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:18,600 Speaker 3: that story is about you. 997 00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:22,400 Speaker 1: Correct, I guess, I mean it's it's I feel I 998 00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:26,279 Speaker 1: feel disingenuous saying that now, because I've made a movie 999 00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:28,359 Speaker 1: and I know how much hard work goes into a movie, 1000 00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,200 Speaker 1: and I know how much ownership you take over a 1001 00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:33,640 Speaker 1: movie that you make. So it still it feels weird 1002 00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:36,759 Speaker 1: to be a kid saying that's my story, you know, 1003 00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:41,759 Speaker 1: But I'll tell you that the day it came out, 1004 00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:43,520 Speaker 1: I'll just say this. The day it came out, I 1005 00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:45,960 Speaker 1: got a call from my agent and my manager, my 1006 00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,399 Speaker 1: lawyer and a couple of agents are on the phone 1007 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:51,600 Speaker 1: and they said this was stolen from you. This was 1008 00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:57,359 Speaker 1: your story, and we want to sue. And but the movie. 1009 00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:59,440 Speaker 1: You remember, the movie didn't come out strong in the theaters. 1010 00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:02,879 Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, and I got to give 1011 00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:05,960 Speaker 1: this guy credit. Barry Katz was on that phone, my 1012 00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:08,880 Speaker 1: Bold manager at the time. I go, let's Sue. I 1013 00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,400 Speaker 1: was really butt hurt. I was really hurt that they 1014 00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,160 Speaker 1: had done this, that they hadn't involved me, that they 1015 00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,680 Speaker 1: hadn't assulted me at all. And I'd been there at 1016 00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:18,360 Speaker 1: the beginning processes of it. I had consulted at the 1017 00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:23,920 Speaker 1: very beginning of it. And Barry goes, Papa, there's two 1018 00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:27,800 Speaker 1: types of people in this business, people who work and 1019 00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,640 Speaker 1: people who sue. Pick which one you want to be? 1020 00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:32,839 Speaker 1: And I want. I want to I want to work, 1021 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:35,920 Speaker 1: and he goes, then don't sue. And I didn't sue. 1022 00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:39,400 Speaker 1: And I've worked my entire life, and and I and 1023 00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:43,000 Speaker 1: and and I say this honestly, I would love to 1024 00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:45,759 Speaker 1: meet Ryan Reynolds. I've never met him, but when he 1025 00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:48,560 Speaker 1: almost he almost came to my Red Rocks show this 1026 00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:51,800 Speaker 1: last time I did Red Rocks. He was doing something 1027 00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:53,520 Speaker 1: with an agent. The agent tried to bring him a 1028 00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:56,520 Speaker 1: day to catch a flight. When I meet Ryan Reynolds, 1029 00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,680 Speaker 1: I would love for him to say, I'm a fan 1030 00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:01,759 Speaker 1: of your work, as opposed to so you're the Van 1031 00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:04,920 Speaker 1: Wilder guy. I would like the Van Wilder thing to 1032 00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:08,120 Speaker 1: be a footnote for the career that I've made for myself. Right, 1033 00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:10,400 Speaker 1: And I think You're much more than that, I think so, 1034 00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:12,960 Speaker 1: so that's where it feels weird talking about it now. 1035 00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:16,840 Speaker 1: But but yeah, I mean, thank god I never was 1036 00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:18,800 Speaker 1: a part of it because I would have just that 1037 00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:22,560 Speaker 1: would have been my pony. Yep, you know, I love 1038 00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,000 Speaker 1: that you want to work or you want to sue 1039 00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:27,560 Speaker 1: it was dude. And I took a meeting with a 1040 00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,120 Speaker 1: company one time. I was my Big White Whale has 1041 00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:31,880 Speaker 1: always been a TV show about my family. Yeah, I'm 1042 00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:35,080 Speaker 1: Big White Whale has been that forever. I took a 1043 00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:40,239 Speaker 1: meeting with a company over by where Netflix's radio is. 1044 00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:42,800 Speaker 1: I was just I don't know why. I like small details. 1045 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:49,160 Speaker 1: We by that target by Libreo and and uh and 1046 00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:51,800 Speaker 1: they were like and they had my book on the 1047 00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:54,880 Speaker 1: on the on the table and they're like, we're huge fans. 1048 00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:57,600 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, thanks. And they're like, our business 1049 00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:00,399 Speaker 1: partner couldn't be here today he was in a little 1050 00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:03,560 Speaker 1: bit of motorcycle accident, but but we would love to 1051 00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:05,360 Speaker 1: do a TV show with you. And I was like awesome. 1052 00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:08,680 Speaker 1: And they're like we've been fans of years, for like 1053 00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:13,400 Speaker 1: twenty seven years. And I was like it's impossible. I 1054 00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,960 Speaker 1: was like what At the time, when I was probably 1055 00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:19,200 Speaker 1: twenty five twenty two. I was like, that's impossible, and 1056 00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:21,920 Speaker 1: they're like, uh, we made a movie called Van Wilder, 1057 00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,600 Speaker 1: and I went oh, and then I sat. I walked 1058 00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:26,400 Speaker 1: out of that meeting and I thought, thank God I 1059 00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:28,640 Speaker 1: never sued, because here's what I've always wanted, and these 1060 00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,680 Speaker 1: guys have the opportunity to give it to me. And 1061 00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,520 Speaker 1: if I had sued, I would never have had that opportunity. 1062 00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:36,440 Speaker 1: Think they know it was about they have to. They 1063 00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,320 Speaker 1: had to. I mean they had to and so I 1064 00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:39,640 Speaker 1: mean they had my book and I think I wrote 1065 00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:43,400 Speaker 1: about it in my book. Right, but and their business 1066 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:45,120 Speaker 1: partner was Ryan Renolds. He had been in a motorcycle 1067 00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:48,919 Speaker 1: accident in Canada in a wow and so and so, Yes, 1068 00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:52,360 Speaker 1: I would love to I would love to meet Ryan Reynolds. 1069 00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,680 Speaker 1: I've been a fan of his forever. Obviously, before everyone 1070 00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:56,120 Speaker 1: liked him, I was a fan of right. I haven't 1071 00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:57,839 Speaker 1: seen Van Wilder, but I'm sure it's a good movie. 1072 00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,759 Speaker 1: But yeah, I would like for him to like what 1073 00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:04,080 Speaker 1: I do. As opposed to that, would you like to 1074 00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:08,360 Speaker 1: do something with it? Fuck? Yes, Deadpool funds, burn Chrisler 1075 00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:10,120 Speaker 1: in the ass and make a poorn I don't care. 1076 00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:16,640 Speaker 1: I'll do I'll do a series of those Deadpool raw 1077 00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:17,479 Speaker 1: Dogs burn Christ. 1078 00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:22,160 Speaker 3: So let me ask you this. You leave Florida State, 1079 00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,200 Speaker 3: you get the they write the article, and you was like, 1080 00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:28,960 Speaker 3: that's it. Your dad say, if you don't take advantage 1081 00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:30,880 Speaker 3: of this situation, you're never going to be in a 1082 00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:32,560 Speaker 3: better situation than what you are right now. 1083 00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:36,920 Speaker 1: Yep, pack up your head to New York. Then what 1084 00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:41,799 Speaker 1: Oh I got my lunch money taken? What happened? Oh dude, 1085 00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:46,400 Speaker 1: my dad said to me. He said, listen, had you 1086 00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:47,879 Speaker 1: wanted to go to grad school, I would have paid 1087 00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,520 Speaker 1: for it. Imagine this is grad school. Okay, he goes, 1088 00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:52,279 Speaker 1: you got to get a job. But I'll help you 1089 00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:54,160 Speaker 1: get on your feet. I'll get I'll get your rent. 1090 00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:56,680 Speaker 1: My rent was like eight hundred dollars a month. Here's 1091 00:50:56,719 --> 00:50:59,320 Speaker 1: I'll get your rent. You gotta get a job, and 1092 00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,680 Speaker 1: you gotta folks stand up. I mean this is like 1093 00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:06,960 Speaker 1: this gets a little like deep. Yeah. So I'm like, yeah, whatever, 1094 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,200 Speaker 1: I'll go to New York. I party like it's going 1095 00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:11,239 Speaker 1: to happen. It happened once, It's gonna happen. But again, 1096 00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:13,799 Speaker 1: I'm going to the clubs. I'm hanging out. I got 1097 00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:16,640 Speaker 1: my pride. I'm not gonna I did stand up one time. 1098 00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:19,160 Speaker 1: I'm murdered. I was like, nice, got that under my belt. 1099 00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:24,040 Speaker 1: And then on my twenty my twenty sixth birthday, I 1100 00:51:24,200 --> 00:51:26,040 Speaker 1: partied that night. I'm sleeping on a couch in my 1101 00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:29,680 Speaker 1: own apartment. It's hot, and I get a phone call 1102 00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:32,759 Speaker 1: from my dad and I go, uh hello, and he 1103 00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:36,040 Speaker 1: was like. I was like, it's my birthday. Just something, 1104 00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:37,960 Speaker 1: Happy birthday to me real quick, you know, you hang 1105 00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:40,520 Speaker 1: up on pal mum over. I go, hey, what's up? 1106 00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:43,359 Speaker 1: And he was like, you are a tremendous piece of shit. 1107 00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:49,240 Speaker 1: I go what? And he goes, you are a failure. 1108 00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:50,640 Speaker 1: You're a liar. You say you want to be a 1109 00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:52,520 Speaker 1: stand up and you're not doing shit to pursue your career. 1110 00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:55,560 Speaker 1: You He goes, I just perjured myself in court. I 1111 00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:57,600 Speaker 1: was in court and the judge said, al, how's your 1112 00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:00,200 Speaker 1: son doing it? And I said great. I lied the 1113 00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:03,000 Speaker 1: first time in my life in court. I lied because 1114 00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:04,960 Speaker 1: I couldn't tell him, you know what, your honor. He 1115 00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:07,600 Speaker 1: has no humility. He's never gonna amount to anything cause 1116 00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:09,160 Speaker 1: I shut him up. As a father, I didn't teach 1117 00:52:09,239 --> 00:52:11,239 Speaker 1: him how to be a humble man. And he and 1118 00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:12,960 Speaker 1: now he's in New York and he's a party boy. 1119 00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:14,880 Speaker 1: And he goes, and you know what, fine be a 1120 00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:16,919 Speaker 1: party boy. And I was like, I remember going it's 1121 00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:19,800 Speaker 1: my birthday. He goes, I know what day it is? 1122 00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:24,320 Speaker 1: And he broke me off. He broke me off, and 1123 00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:29,080 Speaker 1: and uh and he and I said to him, I 1124 00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:31,160 Speaker 1: was like, I'm now I'm sitting up in my underwear. 1125 00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:33,880 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, I'm there's a part of me 1126 00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:37,080 Speaker 1: that wants to push back and and fight him for 1127 00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:40,720 Speaker 1: it and go, hey, I'm doing shit, but I'm lying exactly. 1128 00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:43,440 Speaker 1: And then the other part of me is just as 1129 00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:46,279 Speaker 1: a kid talking to his dad. I go, how can 1130 00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:49,600 Speaker 1: I fix it? And he goes, you can't. He goes like, yup, 1131 00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:51,440 Speaker 1: I never had you get a job in a warehouse, 1132 00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:54,200 Speaker 1: workaround men that need to struggle. There's men that struggle. 1133 00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:56,680 Speaker 1: He goes, yup, I made life easy for you. I'm 1134 00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:58,319 Speaker 1: paying your rent up there. He's gonna be a party 1135 00:52:58,320 --> 00:52:59,560 Speaker 1: boy the rest of your life. Don't worry. I'll pay 1136 00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,920 Speaker 1: for it. Be a party boy. He kept saying party boy. 1137 00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:05,440 Speaker 1: I was like, stop saying party boy. And then I said, hey, 1138 00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:07,440 Speaker 1: how would I fix it? Tell me how to fix it? 1139 00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,000 Speaker 1: And he goes, I'll tell you, but I don't think 1140 00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:11,440 Speaker 1: you're capable of it. And he told me. He goes, 1141 00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:13,560 Speaker 1: go to that club tonight that you've been going to 1142 00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:15,960 Speaker 1: and tell them you want a job there sweeping up, 1143 00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:19,719 Speaker 1: or that you'll do anything, and then in the hopes 1144 00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:21,120 Speaker 1: that one day you can do stand up and I 1145 00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:23,000 Speaker 1: go I remember going, Dad, that's not how it works. 1146 00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:24,799 Speaker 1: He goess, not how it works for you, because you're 1147 00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:27,200 Speaker 1: a privileged white kid from Florida. But if there's some 1148 00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:29,560 Speaker 1: black kid in Harlem who wants a job. He's going 1149 00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,279 Speaker 1: down there, hat in hand, he saying, how do I 1150 00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:33,440 Speaker 1: get on this stage? And he goes, it doesn't work 1151 00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:35,000 Speaker 1: for you that way because you've never had to work 1152 00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,400 Speaker 1: for anything. And I was like, okay, i'll do it. 1153 00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:41,680 Speaker 1: I remember saying i'll do it tomorrow because I have 1154 00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:48,000 Speaker 1: a party plan tonight. Yeah. He goes, you don't deserve 1155 00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:51,879 Speaker 1: a party. He goes, what are you partying for? He goes, 1156 00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:55,080 Speaker 1: what are you celebrating? You're a failure. And I was like, okay, 1157 00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:57,279 Speaker 1: i'll go tonight. So he goes, take yourself to dinner 1158 00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:00,279 Speaker 1: and I've done this every year of my birthday. Take 1159 00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:04,200 Speaker 1: yourself to dinner, write out some goals, and then go 1160 00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:07,320 Speaker 1: to that club and tell them whatever you say. Just 1161 00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:08,759 Speaker 1: my name is bur Chischer. I want to be a 1162 00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:10,560 Speaker 1: stand up Please tell me how I can do that. 1163 00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:12,560 Speaker 1: I'll do anything, I'll mop up, I'll clean up whatever 1164 00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:16,840 Speaker 1: it is. So I went to this Thai food restaurant, 1165 00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:21,440 Speaker 1: the first time I ever had red curry, the Penang, 1166 00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:25,359 Speaker 1: and I wrote twenty six goals. And my goals were 1167 00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:28,440 Speaker 1: very simple. Get on stay twenty six times this year, 1168 00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:33,200 Speaker 1: become a regular at one club. Just very simple goals. 1169 00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:36,279 Speaker 1: And that night I went to the club and I said, hey, 1170 00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:38,200 Speaker 1: my name is Burke. I knew the guy with liams Zuluchef. 1171 00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:40,160 Speaker 1: I said, I've been there, and I was like, my 1172 00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:41,399 Speaker 1: name is burk Kriiser. I want to be a stand 1173 00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:44,040 Speaker 1: up comedian. I'm from Florida, but I you know I'm 1174 00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:45,560 Speaker 1: here and I'll do anything, I'll clean up, I'll wy 1175 00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:47,200 Speaker 1: He goes, can I give you some advice? I said, 1176 00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:49,280 Speaker 1: I'd love some advice. He goes moved back to Florida 1177 00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,239 Speaker 1: and I went, that's not going to work, and he goes, No, 1178 00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:54,400 Speaker 1: you're not going to be a comic here, So move 1179 00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:56,600 Speaker 1: back to Florida. And then he blew me off. And 1180 00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:59,839 Speaker 1: so I almost enjoyed that because I was like, yeah, 1181 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,600 Speaker 1: I told my dad this work. So I called my 1182 00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:04,000 Speaker 1: dad the next morning. He goes, how did it go? 1183 00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:06,840 Speaker 1: I said it didn't work, and he goes, awesome, great. 1184 00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:10,040 Speaker 1: He goes, go back tonight, say the exact same thing. 1185 00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:13,120 Speaker 1: Pretend you never spoke to him, like you've been mind wipe. 1186 00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:14,720 Speaker 1: Just go. My name is Burke Kreischer. 1187 00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:16,920 Speaker 3: I'm gonna So I was like, I'm from Florida, but 1188 00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:18,600 Speaker 3: I want to be a stand up Yeah, and I'll 1189 00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:20,320 Speaker 3: do whatever it takes, a clean cook. 1190 00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:22,200 Speaker 1: Never cook whatever. And he goes and I go Dad, 1191 00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:24,520 Speaker 1: and he goes, no, dude, trust me, you wanted help. 1192 00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:27,000 Speaker 1: This is how it works. Do it again. It's persistence. 1193 00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:29,520 Speaker 1: So I went back that night. Next night, I went, hey, 1194 00:55:29,719 --> 00:55:31,880 Speaker 1: my name is Burke Kreisler. And he goes, so we 1195 00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:33,759 Speaker 1: did this last night, and I went, listen, here's the deal. 1196 00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:36,360 Speaker 1: Yesterday was my birthday. Didn't have a party. I was like, 1197 00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:38,319 Speaker 1: I was supposed to have a party. My dad didn't 1198 00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:40,120 Speaker 1: let me have a party. Now I'm here I'm going 1199 00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:43,000 Speaker 1: to do this every night apparently until you give me 1200 00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:47,040 Speaker 1: an opportunity. And then he goes, ough, fine, okay, stand 1201 00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:48,880 Speaker 1: out front. If you bring in twenty people, I'll let 1202 00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:49,879 Speaker 1: you go on at the end of the night. I'll 1203 00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,040 Speaker 1: give you twenty five bucks. And I went what and 1204 00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:54,320 Speaker 1: he goes, yeah, you just stand out front. If you 1205 00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:56,800 Speaker 1: can bring people into the club bark, I'll put you 1206 00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:57,880 Speaker 1: on at the end of the night. And I was 1207 00:55:57,960 --> 00:56:00,840 Speaker 1: like for real. He was like yeah. I was like, 1208 00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:03,320 Speaker 1: oh my god. I was like it worked. I was 1209 00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,640 Speaker 1: like shit, I put my backdack back down. I saw 1210 00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:07,840 Speaker 1: out front. I remember this is by the way, this is. 1211 00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:10,480 Speaker 1: I brought it in like one hundred people. I brought 1212 00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:12,040 Speaker 1: him four Puerto Ricans, two were going to jail the 1213 00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:14,600 Speaker 1: next day, sat them at the front row, and within 1214 00:56:14,760 --> 00:56:16,919 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes he comes out and he's like, who brought 1215 00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:18,879 Speaker 1: the Puerto Ricans in? I go I did, and he goes, 1216 00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:21,719 Speaker 1: they're ruining the show. He's like, you want to be 1217 00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:23,560 Speaker 1: a stand up, get the fu up here. So I 1218 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,400 Speaker 1: was like, okay, So I brought him. I walked in. 1219 00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:26,680 Speaker 1: I knew the one guy was going to the two 1220 00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:28,600 Speaker 1: guys were going to prison the next day. So I 1221 00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:30,359 Speaker 1: knew because they told me. They're like, well, we're going 1222 00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:31,520 Speaker 1: to party. I was like why, and they're like, oh, 1223 00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:34,040 Speaker 1: he's going to jail. I was like, come on. They 1224 00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:37,200 Speaker 1: were ruining the night. They made this girl cry on 1225 00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:39,080 Speaker 1: stage and they were loving it. And I went up 1226 00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:43,920 Speaker 1: and I did old school frat boy ball busting. I 1227 00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:47,240 Speaker 1: remember at one point I said something and then I go, hey, easy, 1228 00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:49,200 Speaker 1: I know what I'm supposed to do. And if in 1229 00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:51,879 Speaker 1: my actors says the stupid Puerto Rican talks, I'll point 1230 00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:53,560 Speaker 1: to you and that's when you should talk. And the 1231 00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:56,200 Speaker 1: guy goes what And I go, oh, enjoy prison tomorrow, buddy. 1232 00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:58,040 Speaker 1: And I was like, you guys don't know. These two 1233 00:56:58,080 --> 00:56:59,800 Speaker 1: are going to prison tomorrow. And then they were like what, 1234 00:57:00,239 --> 00:57:02,520 Speaker 1: and I was like oh yeah, and I just started 1235 00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:05,120 Speaker 1: lighting them up. They walk out of the room, the 1236 00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:08,840 Speaker 1: place goes crazy. I just destroyed. I had never I 1237 00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:10,719 Speaker 1: had no act I only knew how to make fun 1238 00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:15,120 Speaker 1: of Porto Ricans, apparently, and and then I and then 1239 00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:16,600 Speaker 1: he was like, you got a job. You got a 1240 00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:20,320 Speaker 1: job every every every Tuesday through Friday, you can bark. 1241 00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:23,440 Speaker 1: I call my dad. I go worked. He goes, buddy, 1242 00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:28,200 Speaker 1: apply humility and everything you do and it'll always work. Wow. Yeah, 1243 00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:31,080 Speaker 1: And so it was in but that but my first, 1244 00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:34,080 Speaker 1: my first, I mean I got fired at Barnes and 1245 00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:35,920 Speaker 1: Noble for working out in the basement my underwear. I 1246 00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:39,000 Speaker 1: mean it was like that first six months or seven 1247 00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:41,280 Speaker 1: months was tough. I mean, you didn't think you were 1248 00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:43,919 Speaker 1: not supposed to work at it, barn the Noble and Underwear. Listen, 1249 00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:46,440 Speaker 1: you haven't had you know, you ever have it? Like 1250 00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:47,520 Speaker 1: when you were a kid. Do you ever have a 1251 00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:50,160 Speaker 1: summer job where you're lifting stuff all day? Yes, and 1252 00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:51,840 Speaker 1: then you're like, You're like, I don't think I'm getting 1253 00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:54,680 Speaker 1: jack Yeah. Well for me, that was like the travel books. 1254 00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:57,280 Speaker 1: I was lifting them. I'm like, yo, I'm getting yoked. 1255 00:57:57,720 --> 00:57:59,480 Speaker 1: And then I was like, I bet I bet if 1256 00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,280 Speaker 1: I did some push ups, right, So I took the 1257 00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:06,680 Speaker 1: freight elevator to the basement right bang out twenty push ups. 1258 00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:09,960 Speaker 1: I was like, nice, go back up. I was like, 1259 00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:11,360 Speaker 1: I dropped jobs at me know what I do some 1260 00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:13,360 Speaker 1: air squads. I was like, I'm gonna start working out. 1261 00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:15,560 Speaker 1: I don't like this job. But there was no air 1262 00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:17,920 Speaker 1: conditioning at the astroplaced Barnes and Noble. Right, So I 1263 00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,680 Speaker 1: started coming out and sweating like bost Dwayne's like, what's 1264 00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:22,000 Speaker 1: up with you? White? It's so hot? And I was like, 1265 00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:23,720 Speaker 1: no Ac and he's like, yeah, but you're the only 1266 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:26,160 Speaker 1: one sweating profusely. So I take off all my clothes, 1267 00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:27,880 Speaker 1: go out of the basement, take off all my clothes, 1268 00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:31,120 Speaker 1: bang out, push ups, dry off, put my clothes back on. 1269 00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:32,800 Speaker 1: And then one day pulls me in his office and 1270 00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:34,880 Speaker 1: he's like, hey, man, you've been spending a lot of 1271 00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:36,360 Speaker 1: time in the basement. And I was like, oh, yeah, 1272 00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:37,560 Speaker 1: you know that's where all the books are. And he 1273 00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:39,200 Speaker 1: was like, you know we have cameras in here, right. 1274 00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:42,600 Speaker 1: I was like I did not know that. He's like, 1275 00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:44,480 Speaker 1: get fired, and then, like an idiot, I go, well 1276 00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:46,280 Speaker 1: that's okay. I quit, and he goes, oh, that's awesome. 1277 00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:49,040 Speaker 1: We don't have to pay you for for whatever the 1278 00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,000 Speaker 1: thing is when you quit your place fire. I don't 1279 00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:52,960 Speaker 1: even know. I'm not only had a few jobs. Employment. Yeah, 1280 00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:53,200 Speaker 1: that's it. 1281 00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:58,080 Speaker 3: You met somehow, you meet Will Smith and he just 1282 00:58:58,240 --> 00:58:59,760 Speaker 3: gave you your first six figure kit. 1283 00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:03,000 Speaker 1: Will Smith was the best thing that ever happened to me. 1284 00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:05,720 Speaker 1: How did you how did you meet him? I did. 1285 00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:09,720 Speaker 1: I did stand up in that one club, Boston Comedy Club, 1286 00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:13,680 Speaker 1: and one of his guys, guy named David, talk to 1287 00:59:13,760 --> 00:59:16,240 Speaker 1: him and saw me to stand up. He said, I 1288 00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:19,480 Speaker 1: think Will would like you, and I was like, I 1289 00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:22,480 Speaker 1: love Will. Will was like, you remember he was my 1290 00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:24,720 Speaker 1: introduction to hip hop kind of my kid, my whole 1291 00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:28,640 Speaker 1: family is from Philly, and uh he was like yeah great, 1292 00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:33,520 Speaker 1: and he took He said, Will's doing Will any I'm 1293 00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:35,520 Speaker 1: at the Hit Factory or what did I think it's called? 1294 00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,240 Speaker 1: Should meet him? I was like, I love to meet 1295 00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:42,000 Speaker 1: Will Smith? Are you kidding me? So I He's like, 1296 00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:46,360 Speaker 1: he's up there. Go Saturday. So I went up. Call 1297 00:59:46,440 --> 00:59:48,600 Speaker 1: my dad, I go meet Will Smith. I think he 1298 00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:50,160 Speaker 1: was giving me a television deal and I was like 1299 00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:51,800 Speaker 1: what's that? And you go, you don't do anything for 1300 00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:54,920 Speaker 1: a year and then maybe make a TV show. They 1301 00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:58,080 Speaker 1: give me six figures, but I was like, get that money. 1302 01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:03,520 Speaker 1: I go up and it's Will Smith. I'm and they 1303 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:07,120 Speaker 1: have the lady walks me into this huge dance studio. 1304 01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:09,720 Speaker 1: They put two folding chairs in the dead center facing 1305 01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:12,800 Speaker 1: each other, like like one of those old Richard Nixon interviews, 1306 01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:15,680 Speaker 1: right facing each other in a dance studio, huge room, 1307 01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:20,200 Speaker 1: mister Smith will be in in a second, and he 1308 01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:22,680 Speaker 1: walks in in a Saturday like literally a minute later. 1309 01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:27,280 Speaker 1: Oh hurricane of personality. Will Smith is one of the 1310 01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:29,240 Speaker 1: most charming men I've ever met in my entire life. 1311 01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:33,280 Speaker 1: Dass me a big hug. I remember he said one love. 1312 01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:35,520 Speaker 1: That's all he said to me, One love. And I 1313 01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:37,320 Speaker 1: was off to the races. I was like, buddy, you 1314 01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:39,800 Speaker 1: know how I talk. I just I was like, dude, 1315 01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:41,640 Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of hip hop. I'm a big 1316 01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:43,920 Speaker 1: fan of yours. I know. I mean Nightmare on Elm Street, 1317 01:00:43,920 --> 01:00:45,720 Speaker 1: It's one of my favorite songs. I start going off, 1318 01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,440 Speaker 1: I love black people, You're black, I love you know. 1319 01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:50,480 Speaker 1: I'm just everything. I was like and then and I 1320 01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:52,080 Speaker 1: got him going. I was like, I love hip hop. 1321 01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:53,960 Speaker 1: I love all the old school, all the new school. 1322 01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:56,000 Speaker 1: Do you know juvenile? I love Juvenile's right when the 1323 01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:57,840 Speaker 1: hot boys were coming out. I was like, I met 1324 01:00:57,840 --> 01:00:59,720 Speaker 1: you know. And then and then he was like, He's 1325 01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:01,400 Speaker 1: like like this the whole time. He's like, dude, I 1326 01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:03,320 Speaker 1: like you. I like you. Right. He goes, what are 1327 01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:04,880 Speaker 1: you doing tonight and go I don't know, and he goes, 1328 01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:07,120 Speaker 1: let's let's go see a movie, and I was like okay. 1329 01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:09,320 Speaker 1: He's like cool, meet me a playing Hollywood A seven 1330 01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:10,640 Speaker 1: and I was like okay. And then he just walks 1331 01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:13,080 Speaker 1: out and I was like that happened quick. So I 1332 01:01:13,120 --> 01:01:16,320 Speaker 1: get in the car. I call my dad. He is 1333 01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:17,880 Speaker 1: how did it go? And I go, it's went great. 1334 01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:20,160 Speaker 1: I go we're one of the movies and my Dad's 1335 01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:24,280 Speaker 1: like on a date. I go I don't know. I 1336 01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:26,360 Speaker 1: don't know. I don't think so, and he goes, who 1337 01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:28,160 Speaker 1: else is going? I think I just me and Will? 1338 01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:34,240 Speaker 1: And he goes, oh, buddy, your dad old school for Florida. 1339 01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:38,520 Speaker 1: He goes, because I think he's gonna figure I said what. 1340 01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:44,000 Speaker 1: He goes, it's very popular in Hollywood. These guys get 1341 01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:46,200 Speaker 1: so tired of that. The only thing that turns them 1342 01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:49,760 Speaker 1: on is to young dudes. I was like what, and 1343 01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:52,080 Speaker 1: he goes, yeah, dude, I've heard about it. It's it's 1344 01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:57,000 Speaker 1: a casting couch. It's what they do. And I go, no, Dad, 1345 01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:59,120 Speaker 1: that's impossible. We just spent like an hour in a 1346 01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:02,240 Speaker 1: dance studio and studio. No, I'm gonna go. Dad trusts me. 1347 01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:05,360 Speaker 1: He goes, buddy, what's more likely Okay, he goes, listen 1348 01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:08,720 Speaker 1: to me, the fact that you're so talented that after 1349 01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:10,600 Speaker 1: six months of doing stand up, the biggest movie star 1350 01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:12,760 Speaker 1: in the world wants to make a TV show about you, 1351 01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:17,440 Speaker 1: or that he's tired of and he wants to I 1352 01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:19,920 Speaker 1: was like, I'm getting I go I go what do 1353 01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:22,200 Speaker 1: I do? And he goes henybody, eat shit and cash checks, 1354 01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:26,360 Speaker 1: show up. He goes to show the funup. So I 1355 01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:29,320 Speaker 1: he goes, just listen. He goes, you're my only son. 1356 01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:31,920 Speaker 1: I just I want to prepare you for what's good. Yeah. 1357 01:02:32,520 --> 01:02:34,240 Speaker 1: So I show up to plan in Hollywood. Even when 1358 01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:35,800 Speaker 1: I get there, I go plan in Hollywood. This seems 1359 01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:37,640 Speaker 1: like a weird place, right to watch a movie. I 1360 01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:39,440 Speaker 1: get there and I goes Will Smith here. She was 1361 01:02:39,440 --> 01:02:41,360 Speaker 1: like yeah. In the back. I was like, oh, it's 1362 01:02:41,400 --> 01:02:43,480 Speaker 1: a mannequin of him. I go, no, no, the real 1363 01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:46,680 Speaker 1: Will Smith. She looks at me and she goes, celebrities 1364 01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:48,800 Speaker 1: don't hang out a planet Hollywood. And I was like, 1365 01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:51,280 Speaker 1: I'm supposed to see a movie here with him here. 1366 01:02:51,720 --> 01:02:54,120 Speaker 1: She was like, we don't have a movie theater. And 1367 01:02:54,200 --> 01:02:55,840 Speaker 1: I was like, okay, hold on, now I'm getting punked. 1368 01:02:55,840 --> 01:02:57,720 Speaker 1: I was like, all right, can I wait and she's 1369 01:02:57,720 --> 01:02:59,520 Speaker 1: like yeah, wait. So I just sit in the lobby 1370 01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:03,320 Speaker 1: of Planet Hollywood, the little waiting room. All of a sudden, 1371 01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:06,880 Speaker 1: door opens to my left and there's a six seven 1372 01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:10,680 Speaker 1: foot black man who sticks his head out and he goes, you, Burt. 1373 01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:15,800 Speaker 1: I go yeah, and he goes, I'm Charlie Mack downstairs. 1374 01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:18,120 Speaker 1: I go what and he goes downstairs. I'm like, oh 1375 01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:20,560 Speaker 1: my god, I got this guy too. I was like, 1376 01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:24,240 Speaker 1: this is gonna be a rough night. Like I walk 1377 01:03:24,280 --> 01:03:28,000 Speaker 1: downstairs and there are ten black men sitting in a 1378 01:03:28,480 --> 01:03:32,200 Speaker 1: room probably half the size of this, with a velvet 1379 01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:34,680 Speaker 1: curtain around the whole room and a folding table in 1380 01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:37,600 Speaker 1: the center of it. And I walk in and I go, 1381 01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:41,320 Speaker 1: oh my god, I got all these dudes and Charlie Mack. 1382 01:03:41,320 --> 01:03:43,840 Speaker 1: I'm sure he's bringing Jazzy Jeff. That's thirteen black dudes. 1383 01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:46,080 Speaker 1: And I just I don't say a word. I just 1384 01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:48,800 Speaker 1: post up against the wall and I don't make eye contact. 1385 01:03:49,120 --> 01:03:52,080 Speaker 1: And literally two minutes later, Will Smith comes in with 1386 01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:57,920 Speaker 1: I swear to God Jazzy Jeff and he goes, Yo, Bert, 1387 01:03:58,120 --> 01:03:59,560 Speaker 1: and I was like, what's up And he's like, Yo, 1388 01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:01,720 Speaker 1: what do you think? And I was like, this is 1389 01:04:01,760 --> 01:04:04,360 Speaker 1: gonna be a long night, is what I think. And 1390 01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:06,080 Speaker 1: he's like, guys, this is Burt. This is the guy 1391 01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:09,840 Speaker 1: was telling you about who's ready. And the curtains pull 1392 01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:13,160 Speaker 1: back and it's a private screening room and he goes, Burt, 1393 01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:15,320 Speaker 1: grab us two seats. I'm gonna get u drinks to you, 1394 01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:16,960 Speaker 1: like long islandized teas. I was like, I love them. 1395 01:04:17,240 --> 01:04:19,880 Speaker 1: He grabs us too, long islandized teas. I sat next 1396 01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:22,600 Speaker 1: to Will Smith and Jazzy Jeff and we watched The 1397 01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:26,120 Speaker 1: American Pie and and I think he just wanted to 1398 01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:28,520 Speaker 1: see where I laughed and when I found funny. And 1399 01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:31,560 Speaker 1: then at the end we had we had fried shrimp. Uh. 1400 01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:34,880 Speaker 1: I remember the night very vividly. And at the very 1401 01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:37,040 Speaker 1: end of the night, he goes, at the end of 1402 01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:39,520 Speaker 1: the screening, he goes, what did you think? I said's 1403 01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:41,760 Speaker 1: a good movie. He does know about the room, I 1404 01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:44,000 Speaker 1: said was beautiful, and he goes, know about the men 1405 01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:50,560 Speaker 1: in the room. I was like, they're black and he goes, no, 1406 01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:53,600 Speaker 1: he said, buddy, you said you were a hip hop fan. 1407 01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:57,080 Speaker 1: Look around the room. That's cool Mode, that's biz Marquis, 1408 01:04:57,640 --> 01:04:59,640 Speaker 1: that's the big Daddy King I've brought all the legends 1409 01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:02,320 Speaker 1: so you can meet them. And I was like, I 1410 01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:06,400 Speaker 1: could have, Oh my god, and he did and I 1411 01:05:06,560 --> 01:05:08,320 Speaker 1: just sat around this room with these lights. I was like, 1412 01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:10,760 Speaker 1: holy shit because he found out. And so he invited 1413 01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:12,920 Speaker 1: them all to go see what we want. And then 1414 01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:14,960 Speaker 1: he goes, we don't see a movie tomorrow night, and 1415 01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:16,120 Speaker 1: I was like yeah, and I stood him up. I 1416 01:05:16,160 --> 01:05:19,280 Speaker 1: was like, I gotta wait once. I'm not gonna twice. Yeah. 1417 01:05:19,320 --> 01:05:20,720 Speaker 1: But he was great. He taught me how to sell 1418 01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:22,240 Speaker 1: a show, right. He taught me how to sell a 1419 01:05:22,280 --> 01:05:25,480 Speaker 1: TV show. He was the kindest guy in the world. 1420 01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:27,120 Speaker 1: And I had a TV had a movie pitch at 1421 01:05:27,160 --> 01:05:30,160 Speaker 1: one point that was very similar to the movie Get 1422 01:05:30,240 --> 01:05:31,520 Speaker 1: Him to the Greek, but with a hip hop because 1423 01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:34,280 Speaker 1: I've always been into hip hop. And Will called me. 1424 01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:36,560 Speaker 1: I was I was freshly married. And he called me 1425 01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:38,960 Speaker 1: and he goes, Yo, it's Will. What do you doing 1426 01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,400 Speaker 1: pitching a TV a movie without me? And I was 1427 01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:43,040 Speaker 1: like I don't know, and he was like, you call 1428 01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:45,240 Speaker 1: me man. We're friends. So I love Will. I'm a 1429 01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:47,400 Speaker 1: ride to dive for Will. Wow. Yeah, I love Will. 1430 01:05:47,480 --> 01:05:49,640 Speaker 1: I love Will. What did he tell you about Hollywood? 1431 01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:52,480 Speaker 1: He told me be myself. He told me be myself. 1432 01:05:52,640 --> 01:05:56,400 Speaker 1: But it's interesting. It's interesting that you asked that question 1433 01:05:57,120 --> 01:06:00,920 Speaker 1: because he told me that at a urinal at ABC. 1434 01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:03,560 Speaker 1: Jamie Tarsis, who I thinks passed away. She was running 1435 01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:06,200 Speaker 1: ABC at the time, and me and Will had driven 1436 01:06:06,280 --> 01:06:08,480 Speaker 1: across over the hills and I had had a big 1437 01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:11,360 Speaker 1: gulp with diet mountain dew and I had to piss 1438 01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:13,680 Speaker 1: so bad, and I kind of wanted to get my 1439 01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:16,200 Speaker 1: head straight. There was a lot of energy walking in 1440 01:06:16,280 --> 01:06:19,040 Speaker 1: with a celebrity like that, and I said, I'm gonna 1441 01:06:19,080 --> 01:06:20,800 Speaker 1: go to the bathroom real quick, and Will Smith says, 1442 01:06:20,840 --> 01:06:22,800 Speaker 1: I'll go with you, and I was like, okay. And 1443 01:06:22,880 --> 01:06:26,280 Speaker 1: so we went into the bathroom and I picked the 1444 01:06:26,640 --> 01:06:28,360 Speaker 1: urinal to the right, and then Will got to the 1445 01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:32,040 Speaker 1: urinal right next to me, and he goes, hey, can 1446 01:06:32,080 --> 01:06:36,040 Speaker 1: I can I give you the key, the key thing 1447 01:06:36,120 --> 01:06:38,840 Speaker 1: you need to know about Hollywood? And I said yeah, 1448 01:06:39,720 --> 01:06:43,520 Speaker 1: And then I heard him start pissing and his flow 1449 01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:47,600 Speaker 1: was so strong that it intimidated me. I was like, 1450 01:06:47,680 --> 01:06:49,760 Speaker 1: he must have a hog. I mean this, It was 1451 01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:52,360 Speaker 1: like it was like a fire hose, like I heard 1452 01:06:52,440 --> 01:06:57,120 Speaker 1: German Shepherd's barking it was like, and I was and 1453 01:06:57,200 --> 01:07:00,120 Speaker 1: I couldn't piss. I got gun shy, and I I 1454 01:07:00,240 --> 01:07:03,400 Speaker 1: was so focused on trying to pee that I heard nothing. 1455 01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:05,960 Speaker 1: He said, I heard nothing. He's like giving me the 1456 01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:09,600 Speaker 1: keys to Hollywood. And then finally I said to myself, 1457 01:07:09,640 --> 01:07:11,080 Speaker 1: if I'm going to sell a TV show next to 1458 01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:13,160 Speaker 1: this man, I got to be able to piss next 1459 01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:16,160 Speaker 1: to this man. And I pushed so hard and I 1460 01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:18,600 Speaker 1: started peeing, and then he looks at me and he goes, 1461 01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:22,040 Speaker 1: and the last thing you need to know is just 1462 01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:25,800 Speaker 1: be yourself. And I went, that's the only thing I heard. 1463 01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:28,880 Speaker 1: So that was my that was my one thing you heard. 1464 01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:30,480 Speaker 1: One thing I heard was just be yourself. And so 1465 01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:32,320 Speaker 1: that's all I've ever done is try to be myself. 1466 01:07:32,960 --> 01:07:35,840 Speaker 3: This concludes the first half of my conversation. Part two 1467 01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:38,120 Speaker 3: is also posted and you can access it to whichever 1468 01:07:38,480 --> 01:07:41,640 Speaker 3: podcast platform you just listen to part one on. Just 1469 01:07:41,720 --> 01:07:44,560 Speaker 3: simply go back to Club Sha profile and I'll see 1470 01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:44,880 Speaker 3: you there.