Speaker 1: I won't let my body out be outweigh everything that
Speaker 1: I'm made do. Won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 1: I'm learning a love who I am. I get I'm strong,
Speaker 1: I feel free, I know who every part of me
Speaker 1: It's beautiful and I will always out Way if you
Speaker 1: feel it with your hands in the air, She'll love
Speaker 1: to the boom I get there. Let's say, good day
Speaker 1: and time did you and die out Welcome back to
Speaker 1: out Way. We've got Ali Boonder back on Outweigh and
Speaker 1: it's just me today, me and Ali, of course. And
Speaker 1: I wanted to bring Ali back on because, as we know,
Speaker 1: she does such an amazing job sharing her journey through
Speaker 1: disordered eating on Instagram, which is really unique. But you
Speaker 1: also do a really amazing job of sharing how you
Speaker 1: do it while being in a relationship. So before we
Speaker 1: dive into that, I just want to say, it's been
Speaker 1: so amazing to watch you publicly go from girl to
Speaker 1: woman over the last five years or so that I've
Speaker 1: known you and step into your power from business to
Speaker 1: food to honestly, just the energy of confidence that you
Speaker 1: give off. It's it's really amazing and it's been interesting
Speaker 1: to really watch from the beginning because you started sharing
Speaker 1: from your sticky place, from that place where most people
Speaker 1: tuck away their problems. So to see you here and
Speaker 1: watch the journey is is kind of like a little
Speaker 1: novel on your Instagram that people can kind of go through.
Speaker 1: It is. Yeah, no, thank you so much. I really
Speaker 1: appreciate that it is. And there's sometimes you know, when
Speaker 1: you look back and I'm like, I kind of cringe,
Speaker 1: but I'm so glad that it's all there, because you know,
Speaker 1: it really is. It's an evolution and it's been so interesting.
Speaker 1: You know. I've continued to share about food obviously because
Speaker 1: it's my passion. I love it, you know, it's what
Speaker 1: I do for a living. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: it's just from a different place and it's you know,
Speaker 1: as I mentioned in last episode, it's not from this
Speaker 1: place of fear, but rather it's just a celebration of
Speaker 1: eating and the joy of food and you know, breaking
Speaker 1: bread with loved ones and it's not you know, this
Speaker 1: gluten free, you know, dairy free thing that I feel
Speaker 1: like I can only have because it's like clean and
Speaker 1: you know, low calorie, and it's just a different energy
Speaker 1: around it. So that's awesome. That you've sort of picked
Speaker 1: up on that, because you know, I feel like a
Speaker 1: completely different person and it's been a lot of evolution
Speaker 1: in a short amount of time. So I'm exhausted enough.
Speaker 1: But also in a public way, when we hear Demi Levado,
Speaker 1: for example, I know she's, you know, not to make
Speaker 1: a comparison between myself for you or Demi Levado, but
Speaker 1: it's like she talks about her past struggles and now
Speaker 1: she recounts stories that we never heard before, and even myself,
Speaker 1: you know, just the timing of Instagram came in a
Speaker 1: time in my life where a lot of it was
Speaker 1: already figured out. But when you have gone through it,
Speaker 1: the emotional processing, taking us along for the ride, and
Speaker 1: now seeing you here, it's just incredible. I think it
Speaker 1: gives people hope. Is there anything that you would caution
Speaker 1: somebody from doing in terms of using Instagram to heal
Speaker 1: as somebody who did do it to heal. Were there
Speaker 1: any moments where showing up publicly wasn't the best thing
Speaker 1: for you? Yeah, that's an interesting question. I don't think
Speaker 1: I've ever been asked that before. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: you're in a really vulnerable, delicate place, obviously, again, it
Speaker 1: can't speak for everyone, but I definitely was, you know,
Speaker 1: and sometimes things can really trigger you or set you
Speaker 1: off that you know, maybe for someone that doesn't have
Speaker 1: issues with food, you know wouldn't be affected. And I
Speaker 1: do get lots, not lots, but I've gotten a few
Speaker 1: messages from people saying, you know, hey, this this post
Speaker 1: that you shared really triggered me. And you know, I
Speaker 1: know you've talked about this before and it's sort of
Speaker 1: an interesting topic, but it's you know, really I say
Speaker 1: this with love, but you know, that's actually a great
Speaker 1: indicator that you know there's something there you need to
Speaker 1: work on. And you know, if I were to hear
Speaker 1: that in a place where I felt very triggered, I
Speaker 1: would be you know, very reactive and defensive. And you know,
Speaker 1: and obviously it's nuanced it. I never try to share
Speaker 1: anything that will intentionally trigger someone or you know, irritate
Speaker 1: them or cause them harm. But if you're getting triggered
Speaker 1: by you know, something that's sort of just me sharing
Speaker 1: my experience or you know, it's a good again, a
Speaker 1: good check engine light for you to say, Okay, this
Speaker 1: is something that you know, maybe I need to work
Speaker 1: on or I need to dig deeper with a therapist
Speaker 1: on because there were things for me during my healing
Speaker 1: journey where I was still following people that, in hindsight
Speaker 1: were super disordered and I didn't see it at the time.
Speaker 1: So I would say, you know, the only caution that
Speaker 1: I would really give people is, you know, be really
Speaker 1: cognizant of who you're following and the content that you're consuming,
Speaker 1: because I felt like there was this gray area in
Speaker 1: my recovery where I was still you know, a little disordered,
Speaker 1: but I was really trying hard to repair my relationship
Speaker 1: with food, and you know, follow accounts that were you know,
Speaker 1: body neutral and body positive and you know, talked about
Speaker 1: food freedom counts like yours, you know, and so I
Speaker 1: was sort of getting fed two narratives, and I was
Speaker 1: just feeling very overwhelmed and confused, you know, because I'd
Speaker 1: be scrolling my feet and it would be you know,
Speaker 1: someone talking about counting you know, their car their net
Speaker 1: carbs and whatever, and then I would come across someone
Speaker 1: that's like, you know, eat all the carbs, and I
Speaker 1: was just like, what do I do? You know? And
Speaker 1: both women are you know, looking vibrant and healthy and
Speaker 1: in love with their bodies, and I just didn't know
Speaker 1: where I fit in, and I didn't know which one
Speaker 1: was like my people, you know, because you're trying to
Speaker 1: kind of fit yourself into a tribe. So I would
Speaker 1: say it can be very overwhelming and confusing. And so
Speaker 1: I think a good tip that I wish I would
Speaker 1: have learned is, you know, taking time off social media
Speaker 1: during some of those moments. And you're really good at
Speaker 1: least about taking social media detoxes. I need to get
Speaker 1: better at it, but sometimes, you know, your best evolution
Speaker 1: and your best growth happens offline. Actually most of it,
Speaker 1: I'm sure. And although I am proud that there were
Speaker 1: moments where, you know, I remember doing a post after
Speaker 1: I you know, really moments after I binged almost an
Speaker 1: entire jar of peanut butter, and I took a selfie
Speaker 1: and I was in my kitchen and I was feeling
Speaker 1: so just so much, so many a mix of feelings
Speaker 1: because it was a few, you know, maybe like a
Speaker 1: year nine months to a year into really my you know,
Speaker 1: deep recovery journey, and I almost felt like, you know,
Speaker 1: I was past this, Like it was the first binge
Speaker 1: I had had in about nine months to a year
Speaker 1: and I was really stressed with a business and I
Speaker 1: had a lot going on, and I just I mean,
Speaker 1: I snapped and I just binged, and I don't know
Speaker 1: what overcame me, but I had this feeling to just
Speaker 1: take a selfie of myself and post it immediately to
Speaker 1: my feed with just like really a brain dump of
Speaker 1: what I was feeling and thinking. And I've never received
Speaker 1: so many messages and you know and sweet just comments
Speaker 1: and you know, people reaching out to me and just
Speaker 1: number one, you know, just resonating and feeling have you know,
Speaker 1: they've been there, but also just really acknowledging me for
Speaker 1: sharing in that moment, just so vulnerably because it's so
Speaker 1: easy to look back, as you were saying, and talk
Speaker 1: about things that happened in the past. You know, it's
Speaker 1: so much easier, so much less uh less emotionally taxing.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, you know, I am proud
Speaker 1: of myself for doing that in the moment. But again
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, if I were to give one tip,
Speaker 1: it would be, you know, don't try to do too
Speaker 1: much like because it's hard. It's a lot to process,
Speaker 1: you know, and then also to do that publicly it's
Speaker 1: even harder. So I would have told myself just you know,
Speaker 1: take a break when you need it and um, you know,
Speaker 1: give yourself time to just process those feelings and what
Speaker 1: you're going through. And I think you bring up a
Speaker 1: few points here that I just want to highlight. One
Speaker 1: that it's not linear. So you could go nine months
Speaker 1: without a binge and then you have a binge doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that you're back to square one. Number two is
Speaker 1: the time it takes. You know, we're talking about your recovery.
Speaker 1: Most people are probably thinking it's a snap of the finger,
Speaker 1: but you said nine months into your recovery, putting in
Speaker 1: that work. And then I think most of all, you've
Speaker 1: brought up in the last episode a few times that
Speaker 1: you were working with a professional or some sort of
Speaker 1: mental health or nutrition professional, which really highlights that Instagram
Speaker 1: wasn't your only way to heel and I think that's important.
Speaker 1: And now that you're like a little bit farther along,
Speaker 1: I believe I don't know if you'd say that, but
Speaker 1: like I said in the beginning, you have an energy
Speaker 1: to you that is confident in many different areas of
Speaker 1: your life. You're fulfilled in different ways. It seems the
Speaker 1: one thing I would caution people from doing that I've
Speaker 1: seen is sharing vulnerably for validation. You're you're probably five
Speaker 1: or six years younger than me, so we have different
Speaker 1: relationships to our stories and social media. But even like
Speaker 1: five or six below you, like the college girls or
Speaker 1: women right out of college, they grew up with social
Speaker 1: media so forefront and with vulnerability as a trend. I
Speaker 1: worry about the validation. So sharing something like your peanut
Speaker 1: butter post, which happened to really land with a lot
Speaker 1: of people. They're gonna be some days where you post
Speaker 1: something vulnerably and it's healing for you. But when you
Speaker 1: don't get the likes or the comment through the door,
Speaker 1: you know, are you like, oh my gosh, I shouldn't
Speaker 1: have shared that, because then the share wasn't for healing. Totally. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that you brought that up because it's so true,
Speaker 1: and I almost feel like I've trained myself expecting that
Speaker 1: and it's been you know, it's scary even now when
Speaker 1: I share something and I feel like now I'm kind
Speaker 1: of sharing more like business entrepreneurs stuff, I don't really
Speaker 1: get sweaty before I post, you know, because I'm sharing
Speaker 1: something like really intense about my recovery like I used to,
Speaker 1: but I would get really nervous, and then it was
Speaker 1: almost like this calming effect of seeing the validation and
Speaker 1: the comments and the likes rolling in and people being like, oh,
Speaker 1: I see you girl. You know, oh I've been there,
Speaker 1: and it was like okay, like I neede the right decision,
Speaker 1: sort of just like confirming that, you know, again that
Speaker 1: pad on the back of Okay, what I did was
Speaker 1: the right move. You know, you're you know other people,
Speaker 1: and then there you're not weird because of course there's
Speaker 1: always that little like oh my gosh, like you know,
Speaker 1: I'm I going to be the only one who's done this,
Speaker 1: and people are gonna be like, well, that's weird, you know,
Speaker 1: which of course it isn't, because again, like we've all
Speaker 1: struggled with stuff like this. But at the same time, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think you're so right. There is that that negative
Speaker 1: or dark side to you know, vulnerability becoming a trend.
Speaker 1: But I would argue, you know, I don't mind it,
Speaker 1: even if there's people out there that you know, are
Speaker 1: doing it for the validation I suppose, you know, I
Speaker 1: think it's just the net is so positive and helpful
Speaker 1: for people Like if I was, you know, in high
Speaker 1: school or even starting college and I had the social
Speaker 1: media I guess community or network that I have today,
Speaker 1: I would have felt so much better about my body.
Speaker 1: And I will say the downside really is it's only
Speaker 1: on you, right, So if you're sharing something and you're
Speaker 1: being vulnerable for the sake of validation, you know, it's
Speaker 1: really only harming I guess you. But to other people,
Speaker 1: they see that vulnerability and you're like, wow, you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't like if I especially if I see celebrity,
Speaker 1: someone who in the public eye seems very you know,
Speaker 1: like they have their ship together and they share something.
Speaker 1: You know, even if I read that now, I'm like, okay, cool,
Speaker 1: you know, it's like stars are just like us. Like
Speaker 1: it kind of makes me feel better in a weird way.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I see both sides, but I think overall,
Speaker 1: I think it could be a positive thing too for
Speaker 1: younger women. I love that. So Eric is your boyfriend,
Speaker 1: your co founder, your roommate, slam Daddy. You're slam Daddy
Speaker 1: really everything, and he has been by your side through
Speaker 1: this journey. The other day, you posted something that was
Speaker 1: not something I actually have ever experienced, but It made
Speaker 1: me really think, and you shared that you learned that
Speaker 1: your significant other, Eric was only seven pounds heavier than
Speaker 1: you are. Tell us about that story and what it
Speaker 1: did for you and how you handled it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so this was I would say, there's moments in your
Speaker 1: recovery that kind of shake you to your core and
Speaker 1: challenge everything that you know you have worked hard towards.
Speaker 1: This was definitely one of those times. The other one
Speaker 1: was when COVID was happening and I felt like the
Speaker 1: world was crumbling around me and I started grasping for
Speaker 1: control and food. But that's a story from that. But yes,
Speaker 1: this happened. So you know, I started working with a
Speaker 1: personal trainer recently because, you know, working in the kitchen,
Speaker 1: contrary to what a lot of people probably assume, it's
Speaker 1: not just rainbows and daisies and making fun granola all day.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of heavy lifting and oats and flax
Speaker 1: and you know, heavy bags. And luckily, now you know,
Speaker 1: we've built our team, so I don't have to do
Speaker 1: that anymore. But at the beginning, when we first moved
Speaker 1: to Philly, you know, February March, it was a lot
Speaker 1: and I was exhausted, and you know, I felt really weak,
Speaker 1: and I'm you know, I was the only woman in there.
Speaker 1: I really wanted to like pull my weight, so to speak.
Speaker 1: So I was like, you know, I'm going to hire
Speaker 1: a personal trainer, see her a couple of days a week,
Speaker 1: see how it goes. See if I can get you know,
Speaker 1: build some biceps on these SpongeBob arms. And so the
Speaker 1: first appointment with her, you know, she sort of takes
Speaker 1: your beginning measurements, which at first, you know, I kind
Speaker 1: of was like I shouldn't. I shouldn't do this right,
Speaker 1: like it could be triggering for me. But I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, I just met her, didn't really want to
Speaker 1: you know, rock the boat. And so I'm like, okay, fine,
Speaker 1: And then I was like, again, I shouldn't look at
Speaker 1: the number. I shouldn't look the number. But I really
Speaker 1: have gotten to a place where and I've talked about
Speaker 1: this before, you know, scale neutrality, and again this is
Speaker 1: I feel like, sort of a hot topic where not
Speaker 1: everyone you know can agree on this, but I really,
Speaker 1: you know, I got to this place in my recovery
Speaker 1: where I was like, you know, I don't want to
Speaker 1: feel like I'm chained or you know, like the scale
Speaker 1: owns me, Like I want to get to this place
Speaker 1: where I can read the number and feel emotionally neutral, right,
Speaker 1: Like I want to get to this place where it
Speaker 1: doesn't ruin my entire day, sort of like if someone
Speaker 1: has a fear of spiders, you know, and it's like
Speaker 1: exposure therapy. So there was a point in my recovery,
Speaker 1: you know, where I was weighing myself and it helped
Speaker 1: a lot, you know, contrary to what a lot of
Speaker 1: people believe, it did help me a lot because I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, you know, I saw the number fluctuated
Speaker 1: up and down depending on my cycle, depending on how
Speaker 1: much water I drank, and it became less and less significant.
Speaker 1: It didn't become this big, scary number, and it finally
Speaker 1: became you know, like it was just my height. It
Speaker 1: was just you know, my shoe s eye something about me.
Speaker 1: And I know that it's probably you know, not for everyone,
Speaker 1: and it depends where you are in your recovery. But then,
Speaker 1: you know, a lot of time passed where I just
Speaker 1: became indifferent to weighing myself because it didn't make a difference,
Speaker 1: you know, my worth or who I am, and I
Speaker 1: just kind of forgot about it, honestly, that I had
Speaker 1: a scale. So long story short, you know, the trainer
Speaker 1: weighs me and Eric mentioned something when we got home,
Speaker 1: and I'm not gonna, you know, obviously say numbers for anyone,
Speaker 1: but he was like, oh, wow, you know I've lost
Speaker 1: weight recently, you know, I weigh X. And then I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm like, wait, say did you just say
Speaker 1: a type of like come again? And it was only
Speaker 1: seven pounds more than me. And to give you guys context,
Speaker 1: Eric is probably six to I don't know, six two
Speaker 1: or sixth three. He kind of slouches so and I'm
Speaker 1: like five four, so you know, a pretty big height difference.
Speaker 1: And he's always been very like long and lanky, you know,
Speaker 1: and so it was not not really a surprise, but
Speaker 1: I guess just hearing that number it just really rocked me.
Speaker 1: And so I decided to talk about it because I
Speaker 1: recently had someone on my podcast, Kayla Nielsen, who you know,
Speaker 1: she's lesbian. She's dating or actually just engaged to a woman,
Speaker 1: and that's really common. She was telling me in the
Speaker 1: LGBT community, where you know, comparing your body to your
Speaker 1: partner's body because it's two women right, it's like comparing
Speaker 1: you know, when you have two sisters or twins, and
Speaker 1: it's very common. And that was something I had never
Speaker 1: thought of as a straight woman. So that was really interesting.
Speaker 1: It started getting me thinking about it. But then also
Speaker 1: just this you know notion and sort of this you know,
Speaker 1: societal norm of having your partner, your you know, your husband,
Speaker 1: your male slam daddy be much bigger and stronger and
Speaker 1: you know, way more than you. And as the woman,
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be small and petite and you know, palatable,
Speaker 1: and it just yeah, I just really got me thinking,
Speaker 1: and so I want to talk about it, and um,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not gonna lie. It's still was something
Speaker 1: that affected me. And again it was one of those
Speaker 1: moments that it rocked me and I was kind of
Speaker 1: like got it. Just it made me check myself and
Speaker 1: it really made me. I mean immediately I had those
Speaker 1: thoughts of like, wow, you know, I really let myself go.
Speaker 1: You know, I need to start cleaning up my diet.
Speaker 1: Like all of those old thoughts patterns were just sort
Speaker 1: of you know, re emerging. And luckily, because of the
Speaker 1: years of you know, just self work and working with professionals,
Speaker 1: I you know, have the opportunity to really hear those
Speaker 1: thoughts and just hear them for what they are, their thoughts.
Speaker 1: They're not the truth. And then I was able to
Speaker 1: separate myself from them and be like, Okay, I can
Speaker 1: choose to follow these thoughts, but I know where it's
Speaker 1: going to lead me. It's going to lead me into
Speaker 1: a downward spiral. It's going to lead me into disordered
Speaker 1: patterns and just a place where I've been before and
Speaker 1: I don't want to go back to. So I'm going
Speaker 1: to choose to follow other thoughts, you know, thoughts where
Speaker 1: my weight doesn't determine my worth. I am lovable exactly
Speaker 1: how I am. Who says that that Eric? You know,
Speaker 1: it's not okay if Eric weighs the same as me,
Speaker 1: or if I weigh more than Eric. Um. And when
Speaker 1: I talked about it, I had a lot of women
Speaker 1: commenting that were like, wow, you know, thank you, Like
Speaker 1: I actually weigh more than my husband or my partner.
Speaker 1: And I felt very shameful about it for a really
Speaker 1: long time. So yeah, that's kind of just I mean
Speaker 1: what I want to say about that, But it was just, yeah,
Speaker 1: something I was on my mind, and something that I
Speaker 1: guess I didn't really realize was still you know, some
Speaker 1: stuff that was coming up for me. I just think
Speaker 1: it was so so interesting and working with people over
Speaker 1: the years, there's always this comparison with the partner thing
Speaker 1: that comes up, whether the partner eats more or eats less.
Speaker 1: You know, that's a big one too. Have has that
Speaker 1: come up for you? Oh yeah, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: mean so yes, Like historically, it's always been something that
Speaker 1: I've had to work on. I mean, for example, the
Speaker 1: first trip that Eric and I went on together when
Speaker 1: we first started dating, we went to Paris, City of Food,
Speaker 1: and you know, I eat every few hours honestly, and
Speaker 1: he's the type of guy that you know, talk about
Speaker 1: people who forget to eat. Like even we're at the
Speaker 1: office now and he's like, oh, it's four or forty five,
Speaker 1: you know, haven't had lunch yet, and I'm like really,
Speaker 1: I'm like about I'm ready for dinner. I've already had
Speaker 1: multiple meals. But we were on our first you know,
Speaker 1: the occasion together, and I remember just feeling so faint
Speaker 1: because I would I felt so insecure about how much
Speaker 1: more frequently I was eating than him because we had
Speaker 1: just started dating. You know, we weren't comfortable with each
Speaker 1: other yet, and so I was like and he just
Speaker 1: you know, kept on chugging along, didn't say anything about
Speaker 1: wanting to get food, which just goes to show again
Speaker 1: just my fear of eating in front of other people
Speaker 1: and just being afraid to to share my needs, my
Speaker 1: inherentce like human needs. You know. It's like saying that
Speaker 1: you're afraid to go to the bathroom, like I was
Speaker 1: afraid to be like, hey, you know, you don't want
Speaker 1: to grab something to eat, I'm getting a little hungry,
Speaker 1: Like that would have been terrifying for me. So rather,
Speaker 1: I just discarded my you know, primal instincts and my
Speaker 1: hunger signals and I just tried to chug on through
Speaker 1: like him and work. You know, in Paris, you're walking
Speaker 1: all over the place. We were sightseeing and burnt, you know,
Speaker 1: expending a lot of energy. And then you know, I
Speaker 1: just got really itchy, bitchy and twitchy, like I say,
Speaker 1: and I snapped at him for something and he was like,
Speaker 1: are you okay? And I was like, I'm just so hungry,
Speaker 1: like you know, and of course it's like ship hit
Speaker 1: the fan because I didn't say anything and I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe you're not hungry, Like it's been you know,
Speaker 1: we've been walking around for eight hours, Like how are
Speaker 1: you not hungry? He's like, I don't know, Like sorry,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm just not hungry yet. And he
Speaker 1: was like, do we want to go get something to eat?
Speaker 1: And I was like yes, Like I'm so hungry. He
Speaker 1: was like, okay, why don't you say anything? And so
Speaker 1: it just was it's so comical now, but at the time,
Speaker 1: it really was a huge thing. And even since then,
Speaker 1: you know, and I've gotten to this place now where
Speaker 1: it doesn't face me at all, Lisa, and I'm so
Speaker 1: I'm proud of myself for getting to that point because
Speaker 1: I think, you know, for someone who's in a disordered place,
Speaker 1: it's difficult. A relationship is difficult in any you know,
Speaker 1: any way that you you put it. Sometimes some people
Speaker 1: have partners who are eating much more than them, and
Speaker 1: that's challenging, but for me, it was the opposite. And
Speaker 1: so I felt like, you know, I was trying to
Speaker 1: you know, relax around food and eat more, but here
Speaker 1: my partner was you know, not eating, and I felt
Speaker 1: like it was this you know, he was like waving
Speaker 1: it in front of my face. So yeah, so it's
Speaker 1: been you know, it's been a learning journey for sure,
Speaker 1: but I think the biggest thing and Eric is so logical.
Speaker 1: He was like, you know, I told him about this
Speaker 1: and I was like, I finally got to the point.
Speaker 1: We've been dating for almost eight years and this was
Speaker 1: only like a year or two ago, and I told him.
Speaker 1: I was like, this really affects me, like that you
Speaker 1: go all day without eating. I feel really insecure about it,
Speaker 1: Like I'm the woman I'm supposed to be dainty, you know,
Speaker 1: what the hell is up? Like why are you the
Speaker 1: one who's not eating? And he was just so he's
Speaker 1: so logical. He's a bioengineer, you know, just classic engineer brain.
Speaker 1: And he was like, Ali, why does what I eat
Speaker 1: affects how you feel? Or why does what I eat
Speaker 1: effect when you eat? Like we're two different people, just
Speaker 1: so simply, you know. And I'm like wrapped up in
Speaker 1: my emotion and the story around it, and I was like, God,
Speaker 1: you're so right. But yeah, so it's been a journey.
Speaker 1: I think, you know, I'm a much better place now.
Speaker 1: But it is a process, and it's so if you're
Speaker 1: out there and that's you right now, Like you're not alone,
Speaker 1: and I think just as much as you can separating
Speaker 1: and just you know, listening to the Eric voice in
Speaker 1: your mind and be like, what my partner eats has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with you know, we're two different people,
Speaker 1: we have different needs, all that good stuff. I love that,
Speaker 1: and I think that's great advice. And I love how
Speaker 1: he really just functions as a mirror for you, you know,
Speaker 1: like you threw it at him and he untangled it
Speaker 1: for you, and it was like this, my eating is
Speaker 1: not actually a problem. That is your problem, you know,
Speaker 1: but it was kind of helpful because it helps you
Speaker 1: check yourself rather than you know, him contribute in any
Speaker 1: negative way, which sometimes partners don't know how to react
Speaker 1: or they try to respond in a way that's helpful,
Speaker 1: but it could actually be worse to try and help you.
Speaker 1: But you just straight up was like, this is my body.
Speaker 1: I got this, your body, you got this, and kind
Speaker 1: of created autonomy between the two again. So that's that's amazing. Totally. Well,
Speaker 1: we loved having you in out way for two episodes.
Speaker 1: If you missed the first episode, we talked all about
Speaker 1: Ali's eating or binge, eating, eating from the trash some
Speaker 1: of those more shameful moments that she's happy to share
Speaker 1: because she knows that it will help other people. And
Speaker 1: thanks for shining your light on the world, whether it's
Speaker 1: talking about your journey or creating delicious granola butter. We're
Speaker 1: just so lucky to have you. Oh, thank you so much. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just awesome. And um, I hope it helps
Speaker 1: at least one person, well for sure. Thanks everyone,