Speaker 1: Hey, va fam, It's time for the va Qa. The
Speaker 1: va qa ah the va Qa. Y'all have no idea
Speaker 1: how self conscious I am when I have to sing
Speaker 1: that song by myself. But here I am writing solo
Speaker 1: for this week's edition of the Baqa. I hope that's
Speaker 1: okay with y'all. I'm gonna take some really juicy career
Speaker 1: questions because I just can't help myself. When I sat
Speaker 1: down to choose questions today from our listeners, I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't answer money questions. I know some stuff even
Speaker 1: though Taviny's not here. But then I just got into
Speaker 1: the career questions and I can't help myself. I love
Speaker 1: this so much, and y'all have some really really interesting
Speaker 1: career challenges happening today. I'm your girl, Mandy Money, so
Speaker 1: let's get into it. Just a quick reminder, if you
Speaker 1: want to submit a question for the show, you got
Speaker 1: a couple of options. The best and fastest way to
Speaker 1: get into our inbox is to head over to ig
Speaker 1: make sure you follow at Ambition Podcast and slide into
Speaker 1: our DMS. You can submit your question there. If you
Speaker 1: want us to just read your question, go ahead and
Speaker 1: type it out. If you'd like to be considered to
Speaker 1: be a guest in our studio doing a live Q
Speaker 1: and A. Then send us a voice message. You only
Speaker 1: get sixty seconds. You may have to break it up
Speaker 1: into a couple of different voice notes, but go ahead
Speaker 1: and submit your question via a voice note, and you
Speaker 1: may be asked to join BA in the studio. So exciting,
Speaker 1: all right, But today I am shaking up this money
Speaker 1: mail bag and I'm answering y'all's career question. So let's
Speaker 1: get into it. Our first question comes from listener Elena. Elena,
Speaker 1: my heart goes out to you already, but let's get
Speaker 1: into this. Elena says, how does one prepare financially for
Speaker 1: pregnancy and having your first child? I recently found out
Speaker 1: I'm expecting, I'm married, we have no debt, we max
Speaker 1: out our retirement accounts, and we have a two bedroom apartment.
Speaker 1: Plus we both make six figures. Okay, Elena, flex on them.
Speaker 1: My current companies HR policy states that maternity leave will
Speaker 1: run concurrently to FMLA. Is this common? I thought I
Speaker 1: could take four months off maternity leave and then add
Speaker 1: on the twelve week FMLA. Any thoughts. I'm going to
Speaker 1: stop there, even though Elena has a couple of more questions,
Speaker 1: Because girl, I was the exact same as you when
Speaker 1: I found out I was expecting my first son. I
Speaker 1: was working full time for a company that offered only
Speaker 1: was it eight weeks When I started think, they bumped
Speaker 1: it to twelve weeks, and I too was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can just take my company paid maternity leave and
Speaker 1: then I also get FMLA on top of that, but nope.
Speaker 1: Then I also learned what the word concurrently means. It
Speaker 1: means that you actually do not get to just stack
Speaker 1: on your FMLA to your company's paid time off. It sucks,
Speaker 1: but it's true basically what FMLA does, and that stands
Speaker 1: for the Family and Medical Leave Act, which is the
Speaker 1: least that America decided to do for working families who
Speaker 1: want to start families or have families, because it's like
Speaker 1: the bare minimum you are, I believe, just guaranteed twelve
Speaker 1: months or sorry, twelve weeks of coverage if you were
Speaker 1: to leave your job, like you would come back and
Speaker 1: you should still have a job for those twelve weeks.
Speaker 1: But it does not provide any other benefits and does
Speaker 1: not pay you, And of course it's not required for
Speaker 1: companies to offer paid parental leaf. The only reason companies
Speaker 1: do is because rightfully so, they realize they need to
Speaker 1: attract talent. And one of the best ways they can
Speaker 1: attract talent, because our company or our country is kind
Speaker 1: of trash when it comes to our parental leave, is
Speaker 1: to offer parental leave right the same way that our
Speaker 1: companies become our source of health benefits, because until Obamacare,
Speaker 1: there wasn't a marketplace. There wasn't an easy way for
Speaker 1: an everyday worker to get health benefits if it weren't
Speaker 1: for their employer providing it. So you see how they
Speaker 1: get us. You see how they convince us that we
Speaker 1: need to work for the man. The man's got our benefit,
Speaker 1: he's got our maternity leave, he's got our health care benefits. Okay,
Speaker 1: so well played the man. But let me talk to you. So,
Speaker 1: when you're preparing for your first kid, I think you're
Speaker 1: doing exactly right when it comes to going through your
Speaker 1: company's parental leave policy and really understanding it and running
Speaker 1: through it with a fine tooth comb and even hopping
Speaker 1: on the phone with your benefits department so that you
Speaker 1: can even further understand and make sure that you're you know,
Speaker 1: comprehending everything correctly. I was a little surprised myself by
Speaker 1: the complexities that go into like going on maternity leave
Speaker 1: and the forms you have to fill out, and technically
Speaker 1: it's considered a disability, so I had to file some
Speaker 1: disability paperwork. It was a lot, and so I would
Speaker 1: just say, take your time with it, and yeah, there
Speaker 1: may be a rude awakening for those of y'all who
Speaker 1: aren't you thinking of having a kid now, And maybe
Speaker 1: that's not top of your mind when you're choosing where
Speaker 1: to work, and maybe you don't mind that they don't
Speaker 1: have paid maternity leave, or if they do that it's
Speaker 1: only you know, a short amount of time. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: not your you know, top of your list right now.
Speaker 1: But as soon as it becomes real and you do
Speaker 1: have you know, either your expecting or your partner is,
Speaker 1: and then you want to, you know, find out about
Speaker 1: your benefits, you may be in for a bit of
Speaker 1: a rude awakening. While parental leave is getting more common,
Speaker 1: it still is not as generous at very many companies.
Speaker 1: I think that we've you know, heard of like big
Speaker 1: tech companies offering like six months parental leave even for
Speaker 1: the spouse like it's crazy, but that's certainly not the
Speaker 1: case in so many different industries and so many different companies,
Speaker 1: So definitely look at your policy closely. And then you
Speaker 1: got to make a game plan. Really, you have to decide,
Speaker 1: you know, if we're going to finance our own leave,
Speaker 1: Like let's say, for example, you want to take your
Speaker 1: companies full four months, but you want to do an
Speaker 1: additional two months on top of that. You know, do
Speaker 1: you have enough money in the bank because you wouldn't
Speaker 1: be paid for that time to cover that time off.
Speaker 1: And then you have to think about will my company
Speaker 1: be okay with me taking an extended leave, and what
Speaker 1: assurances do I have from them that I'll have a
Speaker 1: job when I come back. I'm not an employment law attorney.
Speaker 1: I should have started off by saying that, But I'm
Speaker 1: guessing that if it's outside that twelve week Family and
Speaker 1: Medical Leave Act window where you have to you know,
Speaker 1: your job is protected under that Act while you're on leave.
Speaker 1: If you go beyond that, then I'm going to assume
Speaker 1: it's not protected. But shit, I mean, let me be honest.
Speaker 1: I found out last week that in the middle of
Speaker 1: Twitter and Elon Musk laying off half of its freaking workforce.
Speaker 1: That one of the people who was laid off was
Speaker 1: in the middle of her maternity leave. Yeah, so even
Speaker 1: though she qualified for maternity leave, she was still let
Speaker 1: go smack in the middle of it. Right now, they
Speaker 1: get severance and she'll be fine. But it just goes
Speaker 1: to show that the policy is the policy until the
Speaker 1: company's business and bottom line and what shareholders wants becomes
Speaker 1: the greater, you know, the greater important thing in that moment.
Speaker 1: So it is what it is. But let's go on
Speaker 1: to the rest of your questions. You say, before finding
Speaker 1: out I was pregnant, I was getting ready to apply
Speaker 1: for new jobs. But now it seems like I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be able to get maternity leave and a new company
Speaker 1: or any job security. Should I wait to leave until
Speaker 1: after I return from maternity leave? Oh, this is a
Speaker 1: juicy one. And you know, I've actually talked to women
Speaker 1: who have applied for jobs while they're pregnant and haven't
Speaker 1: told them. And you know, thanks to the pandemic and
Speaker 1: the increase of remote working, they can't see below your neck.
Speaker 1: So who's to say she's expecting it's perfectly fine to
Speaker 1: take a job you can be nine months pregnant and
Speaker 1: take a job. In fact, I remember the CEO of
Speaker 1: Yahoo where I worked about a decade ago, Marissa Meyer.
Speaker 1: She had come from Google. It was a whole big thing.
Speaker 1: It was like a pop culture moment meets tech at
Speaker 1: the same time. And Marissa Meyer took that job when
Speaker 1: she was pregnant with twins, like very publicly visibly pregnant
Speaker 1: with twins. Yeah, and it happens, and it's fine, But
Speaker 1: you do want to review your benefits package. You don't
Speaker 1: have to tell them why, but you should say I
Speaker 1: want the full benefits package. Please for my own review
Speaker 1: and find out what you need to do in order
Speaker 1: to qualify for their paid leave. They may have some
Speaker 1: sort of fine print that says you have to work
Speaker 1: here for at least six months or a year. I
Speaker 1: worked for a company that said if I left within
Speaker 1: a year of coming back from maternity leave, that I
Speaker 1: have to pay them back for my leave. Yeah. Now
Speaker 1: that is not totally uncommon, so I would definitely read
Speaker 1: your fine print. But to your point about, like, you
Speaker 1: want to apply for new jobs, but it seems like
Speaker 1: you wouldn't be able to get maternity leave in a
Speaker 1: new company or any job security, like I would fight
Speaker 1: fear with facts in that case, like get some job offers,
Speaker 1: go do the interview and find out what their benefits
Speaker 1: package is. Maybe asking for their benefits package is one
Speaker 1: of the first things you request from the recruiter so
Speaker 1: that you can kind of get it out of the
Speaker 1: way and you know, weed them out based on if
Speaker 1: they are allowing you to get parental leave right away.
Speaker 1: Another example is that I had a friend who got
Speaker 1: a job at Google. He was working at Etsy at
Speaker 1: the time. Google recruited him. His wife was expecting, and
Speaker 1: they were like, go ahead, come to Google and you
Speaker 1: can take your first you can take your six months
Speaker 1: this is Google. Okay, you can take your six months
Speaker 1: of parental leave before you even start. Okay. I was like, say,
Speaker 1: what so some companies are pretty generous with it, but
Speaker 1: you have to actually get in a place where you're
Speaker 1: getting offers so you can review them before you make
Speaker 1: a decision, right, Elena. So that's what I'm constantly talking
Speaker 1: to my clients about is don't wonder, get some facts,
Speaker 1: And the best way to get facts is to always
Speaker 1: be looking and taking those interviews. You ain't got to
Speaker 1: tell them you're expecting. It takes a long time to
Speaker 1: cook a nugget, you know what I mean, cook a baby.
Speaker 1: So you may interview now and then you may get
Speaker 1: like six months with company and then take your leave.
Speaker 1: But you do want to find out for your own purposes,
Speaker 1: like what their policy is and all of that. So no,
Speaker 1: I would not at all say that you shouldn't be applying.
Speaker 1: I think you should, especially if you feel like you're ready.
Speaker 1: You just want to find a company that treats its families,
Speaker 1: treats its workers who have families really well, and you know,
Speaker 1: do your own research to find out what their own
Speaker 1: what their benefits are, and see how well supported you
Speaker 1: would be. Okay, now let's play Devil's advocate and kind
Speaker 1: of look at what would happen if you were to
Speaker 1: wait until you come back from a trinity leave to
Speaker 1: then leave your company and start looking. Well, let me
Speaker 1: tell you something. I want to tell you a little thing.
Speaker 1: This is your first child. Okay, you don't have one yet.
Speaker 1: Something dies in you when you're kidding, But the reality
Speaker 1: is that after you have a kid, things just get harder. Elena.
Speaker 1: And when as long as you're past the first trimester,
Speaker 1: you know you got energy, you have all your brain
Speaker 1: is still in your head, and you remember things and
Speaker 1: you spark and all that. It took me about a
Speaker 1: year before I felt sparkly and before I felt like
Speaker 1: I could, you know, really bring my whole self to
Speaker 1: the table again after I had my son. It just
Speaker 1: takes so much out of you. So I honestly would
Speaker 1: vote for do the interviews, get the job, sparkle and
Speaker 1: shine and get the great you know, do the negotiating
Speaker 1: all of that to become to put yourself in a
Speaker 1: great job before you have the kid. Because when you
Speaker 1: come back from attornity leave, oh, the emotions of coming
Speaker 1: back to work, plus the fact that a tiny human
Speaker 1: has left your body and taken like ninety percent of
Speaker 1: your brain with it somehow. On the White House, I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, there's pros to doing the job search while
Speaker 1: you are just worrying about yourself and your partner, while
Speaker 1: you have all the time in the world to prep
Speaker 1: for interviews and to put your best foot forward through
Speaker 1: the interview process. Okay, Also, can we go back to
Speaker 1: your question about like should I leave or should I
Speaker 1: stay where I have some job security? Remember what I
Speaker 1: said about that woman who I heard about at Twitter
Speaker 1: who was laid off during maternity leave. Listen, there is
Speaker 1: no such thing as a stable job. There's no such
Speaker 1: thing as total job security, no matter how secure you
Speaker 1: think your job is. As soon as that company's business
Speaker 1: needs change and move in a different direction, believe me
Speaker 1: and trust they will pivot in that new direction, come
Speaker 1: hell or come high water. Inevitably it will happen, even
Speaker 1: if they try to delay it. It's just the reality.
Speaker 1: And way too often in jobs that we think are stable,
Speaker 1: we are thrown out on our asses and come to
Speaker 1: the really uncomfortable realization that, oh shit, the whole time
Speaker 1: I thought I was in a stable situation, but I
Speaker 1: was always dispensable to them. You know, That's just the
Speaker 1: reality of what it is. So I definitely wouldn't think
Speaker 1: that you're guaranteed any sort of security, you know, just
Speaker 1: because you're working for a company. Okay, let's see you
Speaker 1: ask And then you have a final question here. Your
Speaker 1: husband's company doesn't offer paternity leave. He plans to take
Speaker 1: his MLA, so has twelve weeks of unpaid leave. Any
Speaker 1: advice on how to go about this or can we
Speaker 1: nudge the company to get with the times? And provide
Speaker 1: leave for dads. Well, you can do what you can
Speaker 1: to nudge the company, but I would say, like, what
Speaker 1: are you going to do, like write a letter to
Speaker 1: HR saying we'd really like if you would give us
Speaker 1: paid leave for you know, fathers or spouses and partners
Speaker 1: as well. You could try, but I'm telling you there's
Speaker 1: no greater message than I'm turning in my two weeks notice.
Speaker 1: And here's why my wife is expecting I'm not able
Speaker 1: to take off paid leave to be a supportive partner.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to go to this company which has
Speaker 1: generously offered me twelve weeks of paid leave. There's no
Speaker 1: better message than on your way out the door telling
Speaker 1: them why you're leaving and making sure they know that
Speaker 1: unpaid parental leave is one of the main factors you've
Speaker 1: taken into consideration before you turned in your notice. That
Speaker 1: is a message that HR will hear, because the last
Speaker 1: thing HR wants to do, even though it's like kind
Speaker 1: of their jobs, is spend a bunch of time recruiting
Speaker 1: replacements or people who have left, you know, so the
Speaker 1: benefits department. And here's the other thing. I remember myself
Speaker 1: working at a company that offered really like crap parental leave.
Speaker 1: It was eight weeks when I first started, eight paid weeks,
Speaker 1: and I remember being like, this is really shitty, and
Speaker 1: the benefits person saying, yeah, we're trying to fix it.
Speaker 1: Please let us know if you almost didn't take this
Speaker 1: job because of our parental leave, because that makes their
Speaker 1: jobs easier, they can make a better case for improving
Speaker 1: their benefits when they have to go to the board
Speaker 1: and ask for those types of you know, improvements and adjustments.
Speaker 1: So I know we're not talking about your husband thinking
Speaker 1: about quitting his job, and maybe it's too much too soon,
Speaker 1: but I'm just saying there are plenty of companies that
Speaker 1: offer paid leave. I wish they were more, But if
Speaker 1: it really means a lot to you, then I mean
Speaker 1: he should be hitting the job market too and working
Speaker 1: for a company that offers those benefits. Otherwise, your option
Speaker 1: is for him to take his twelve weeks of unpaid
Speaker 1: FMLA leave and then you guys have got to figure
Speaker 1: out without his income for those twelve weeks. You know
Speaker 1: what expect and says are you going to reduce or
Speaker 1: how can you make it work with just the four
Speaker 1: months of paid leave that you're going to be getting
Speaker 1: from your job, you know, is an adulting fun. Oh god,
Speaker 1: nothing felt me made me feel more like a grown
Speaker 1: up than having a child. Oh my lord. Anyway, Elena,
Speaker 1: thank you for this question. I hope that so many
Speaker 1: listeners identified with you. And hey, you may not think
Speaker 1: that you're ready for a kid. I sure as hell
Speaker 1: did it until I was until I was thirty two,
Speaker 1: and then I was like, oh, okay, let's do this thing.
Speaker 1: But before that you may not think that it's the
Speaker 1: most important thing as you're looking for companies to work for,
Speaker 1: But why not go ahead if you even think that
Speaker 1: you may want children and you may want to work
Speaker 1: at a company for a while. Take that into consideration
Speaker 1: when you're weighing your options and ask questions about their
Speaker 1: parental leaf policy. You're well within your right to do it,
Speaker 1: and companies need to know that job candidates are woke
Speaker 1: to the fact that they have to come to the
Speaker 1: table with benefits that you know, honor the fact that
Speaker 1: it's really fricking hard to be a working parent in
Speaker 1: this company and not get paid when you're on leave.
Speaker 1: Do you have any idea how much daycare gos like
Speaker 1: this shit is crazy. So I need, I need, I
Speaker 1: need more people to stand up for themselves in the
Speaker 1: job interview process. Ask about those benefits because, like I said,
Speaker 1: when they know that we care, that is when we
Speaker 1: really see change happening. All right, Okay, I'm getting off
Speaker 1: my soapbox for a little minute. I'll be right back
Speaker 1: in just a minute. After these ads to answer another
Speaker 1: listener question. This is Mandy Money with brown ambitions baqa
Speaker 1: hey va fam. All right, we are back with our
Speaker 1: second question. This is a juicy one from my friend Tranika,
Speaker 1: not actually my friend, but after reading your question, I
Speaker 1: feel like I know you. You're all okay, so let's
Speaker 1: get into it. Tranika says, I want to start off
Speaker 1: by saying I have been listening to you ladies since
Speaker 1: twenty nineteen. I appreciate all the knowledge you have both
Speaker 1: shared as well as your personal experience. It helps us
Speaker 1: all see you as real people with real lives. Yes,
Speaker 1: we keep it one hundred year at BA all right,
Speaker 1: not gonna lie, and Trinika says, I want to offer
Speaker 1: my sincere condolences to Tiffany and the loss of Superman.
Speaker 1: Thank you for that. My dilemma. Trinika says is, I
Speaker 1: have two jobs and I can't keep working them both.
Speaker 1: I was originally working as a home health hospice nurse.
Speaker 1: I love the job. I had the freedom to make
Speaker 1: my own schedule, I can have time to do personal things,
Speaker 1: and I get paid well. They even promoted me to
Speaker 1: assist at manager in addition to doing patients visits. I
Speaker 1: applied for the new job because back in July of
Speaker 1: last year, we had a different manager who I disliked
Speaker 1: working with her, so I decided to apply for another
Speaker 1: job at a VA hospital. It took forever, but they
Speaker 1: finally gave me the job and I took it. But
Speaker 1: since then, my hospice job has hired a new manager
Speaker 1: and she treats me like an important part of the team.
Speaker 1: She makes me feel so appreciated. They just moved into
Speaker 1: a new office this week and she asked me to
Speaker 1: be the first person to come in and pick out
Speaker 1: an office because she wants me to come work with
Speaker 1: her full time in the day. I currently work full
Speaker 1: time days at my other job at the VA, and
Speaker 1: then I come and do my hospice patients in the
Speaker 1: evening and I do all my adamin work at night.
Speaker 1: This hospice job and the freedom it gives me, plus
Speaker 1: the small team and the closest of the staff is great.
Speaker 1: But I was fired from a job many years ago,
Speaker 1: about twenty years ago, and ever since then, I've had
Speaker 1: the fear that someone may walk in and say, look,
Speaker 1: I don't like you anymore. You're fired. I know that's
Speaker 1: an exaggeration, but it's one of the reasons why I've
Speaker 1: always had two jobs. But the big issue is that
Speaker 1: I don't like my second job that much. I micromanaged
Speaker 1: to the extreme. I work as a nursing assistant instead
Speaker 1: of a nurse, so I don't feel that I'm given
Speaker 1: opportunity to grow or use my skill set. But the
Speaker 1: advantage of my second job is the union and the benefits.
Speaker 1: I hope I was able to explain this in a
Speaker 1: way that makes sense. Both jobs pay the same, by
Speaker 1: the way, Okay, Trinika, actually this is hilarious. You ended
Speaker 1: this whole explanation without a question. But I am going
Speaker 1: to assume that you want some advice on whether or
Speaker 1: not you should be keeping these two jobs. All right,
Speaker 1: I can one thousand percent identify with what it feels
Speaker 1: like to want to have a backup you know, like
Speaker 1: you found out you were fired, you know, twenty years ago,
Speaker 1: and that still stays with you. I was laid off
Speaker 1: over ten years ago, and that still stays with me.
Speaker 1: It's the message of oh, our fates are not entirely
Speaker 1: our own when we put them in the hands of
Speaker 1: an employer. But here's the thing I want you to think, Like,
Speaker 1: stick with me for like a minute, and imagine for
Speaker 1: a second who you are now and who you weren't
Speaker 1: twenty years ago, and who you are today twenty years later,
Speaker 1: is someone with over twenty years of experience in your field,
Speaker 1: someone whose talents have been observed and recognized so much
Speaker 1: so that two places were wanting to hire you at
Speaker 1: the same damn time. And you are finally feeling what
Speaker 1: the you know, the lovely side effects are of being
Speaker 1: appreciated at work and your job at the hospice center,
Speaker 1: like you said, they give you freedom, they give you autonomy,
Speaker 1: They respect and value you like girl, They let you
Speaker 1: come in and pick your own office. Like that's incredible
Speaker 1: and it's very it's sweet when you actually work someplace
Speaker 1: that values you. But I think you need to value
Speaker 1: yourself as well. And I think you need to kind
Speaker 1: of like shrug your shoulders back and just absorb the
Speaker 1: fact that you're not who you were twenty years ago,
Speaker 1: and that you have skills, you have experience, you have
Speaker 1: a professional network that would be your safety net if
Speaker 1: ever again you were proven to be disposable by a company,
Speaker 1: if they were to let you go, or like you said,
Speaker 1: someone came in who didn't like the way you looked
Speaker 1: and then just fired you, although that would be illegal.
Speaker 1: But anyway, if your greatest fear came true that you
Speaker 1: were once again fired or let go through no fault
Speaker 1: of your own, if that were to happen, you wouldn't
Speaker 1: be in the same place as you were twenty years ago. Okay, I,
Speaker 1: without knowing very much about you, can tell you that today.
Speaker 1: And it's the same thing that gave me the courage
Speaker 1: and the confidence to step away entirely from the corporate
Speaker 1: world in twenty twenty one and launch my business. It's
Speaker 1: because if I had done that at twenty ti too,
Speaker 1: you know, after I got laid off my first job
Speaker 1: afrom moving to New York. Had I done that back then,
Speaker 1: I couldn't say I was as professionally resilient back then
Speaker 1: as I feel I am now. I could afford to
Speaker 1: take the risk of branching out on my own because
Speaker 1: I have confident that today I am Hella employable and
Speaker 1: even if one place didn't want me, I could find
Speaker 1: many others that would because I have developed so many
Speaker 1: skills that are in demand. And I know if all
Speaker 1: as fails and tomorrow the world wakes up and they're
Speaker 1: like Mandy money is canceled, can't stand her whatever. Please
Speaker 1: don't do that though, Okay, but if that were to happen,
Speaker 1: I would be okay, you know. And I want you
Speaker 1: to feel that same level of confidence. When you start
Speaker 1: to realize and you start to have that faith in
Speaker 1: yourself and who you are today and your ability to
Speaker 1: be resilient in the face of any kind of professional challenge. God,
Speaker 1: it just gives you this like talisman. It gives you
Speaker 1: this like glow internally, because then you can go out
Speaker 1: into the world and make decisions not from a place
Speaker 1: of fear and not from a place of your lack
Speaker 1: of trust and faith in yourself, but from a place
Speaker 1: of I got me, you know, and I'm going to
Speaker 1: be okay even if other people's decisions, you know, leave
Speaker 1: me hanging or leave me out in the cold. You
Speaker 1: got you, Trinika. That's how I feel about this. When
Speaker 1: you start to feel that, and I hope what I'm
Speaker 1: saying is resonating with you and you're starting to feel it,
Speaker 1: like look in the mirror and like recognize how far
Speaker 1: you've come. I think you'll start to see that it's
Speaker 1: not the second job that you need to provide stability
Speaker 1: because honestly, like they could decide they don't like you
Speaker 1: either and fire you. You know, all you're doing is
Speaker 1: I think, anyway, not really working on your inner trust
Speaker 1: in yourself. So I would sit down and just like
Speaker 1: do some work, you know, really look at who you
Speaker 1: are today versus who you were twenty years ago, and
Speaker 1: how differently you would handle that situation. Do you have
Speaker 1: more savings in the bank, because twenty years ago, that
Speaker 1: wake up call like a taught me when I was
Speaker 1: laid off, taught me I never wanted to be without
Speaker 1: three months of savings in the bank at any given time.
Speaker 1: You know, do you have more savings in the bank?
Speaker 1: Are you more financially savvy? Do you have a stronger
Speaker 1: professional network that can lift you up and help you
Speaker 1: bounce back in the face of getting fired or laid off.
Speaker 1: I'm going to guess that you can answer yes to
Speaker 1: some of those questions, and so you should feel a
Speaker 1: lot more confident and at peace that you got you
Speaker 1: that you actually don't need a second job for security.
Speaker 1: What you have, what you need you already have, which
Speaker 1: is the ability to be resilient and come back and
Speaker 1: get new work even if the job you have today
Speaker 1: decides they no longer need your services. You are in
Speaker 1: an in demand field, you know, healthcare, hospice care. I
Speaker 1: don't believe in necessarily stable jobs. And even though someone
Speaker 1: fought me on that that nursing is the stable job, well, listen,
Speaker 1: I still stand by what I said. There's no job
Speaker 1: that's stable. Like you said, you can be fired at
Speaker 1: a moment's notice. So you really just have to believe
Speaker 1: that the skills that you have will find you and
Speaker 1: help you find another opportunity. And damn girl, twenty years
Speaker 1: of experience in that space, and just based on how
Speaker 1: they're tring's reading you at that hospice center, it shows
Speaker 1: me that you have incredible skills and you are someone
Speaker 1: who is valued and trusted and you could probably be
Speaker 1: doing this on your own. You know, if you wanted to,
Speaker 1: you could run your own hospice center if you wanted to.
Speaker 1: It sounds like, so just work on that faith in
Speaker 1: yourself and that'll free you up. It'll free you up
Speaker 1: to get rid of the job, the job that is
Speaker 1: dragging you down, so you don't have to work for
Speaker 1: people who don't value you, So you don't have to
Speaker 1: accept that treatment that you know you don't deserve, and
Speaker 1: you can let that job go. Free up more space
Speaker 1: and time and energy. Work full time for a place
Speaker 1: and see how that feels to work where you're valued. Like,
Speaker 1: how much could you stand to gain by investing even
Speaker 1: more time working under someone who seems to really respect
Speaker 1: and value you. Maybe you could learn so much there
Speaker 1: that you go and run your own hospice center, or
Speaker 1: they appoint you like assistant director, or they end up
Speaker 1: leaving it they want you to take over. Your path
Speaker 1: could be so much brighter than you're either and letting
Speaker 1: it because you have this like cloud of self doubt,
Speaker 1: you know, sort of hanging over you. And because of
Speaker 1: that self doubt, you're hanging on to this job that's
Speaker 1: not serving you, and you're giving them a part of
Speaker 1: the energy and the sparkle that you should be giving
Speaker 1: to the job that is valuing the most. Okay, I
Speaker 1: hope that was helpful. I'm so glad that you felt
Speaker 1: comfortable being so candid and sharing your question with me.
Speaker 1: And I just want to say, like, I feel like
Speaker 1: I know you because I talk to women almost every day.
Speaker 1: It's an incredible privilege the work that I get to do.
Speaker 1: And I know this is the core of why so
Speaker 1: many of us continue to work where we feel undervalued, underappreciated,
Speaker 1: And it's because we're operating from the space of I
Speaker 1: need this and I need to feel secure. You're looking
Speaker 1: for that security and that protection and that stability outside
Speaker 1: of yourself. You're looking at it from your employer. I
Speaker 1: just hear this so often as a sense of self
Speaker 1: doubt that we are we are looking to external forces
Speaker 1: like our company, our managers, you know, other people to
Speaker 1: be our stability and our job security, rather than kind
Speaker 1: of looking internally and recognizing what tools do I have
Speaker 1: in my toolbox that make me secure that I can
Speaker 1: be my own form of job security, that yes, eventually
Speaker 1: I will need other people, companies, corporations to employ me
Speaker 1: so that I can, you know, be compensated for my skills,
Speaker 1: but that even if one place doesn't want me, I
Speaker 1: know that I have skills that another place will. And
Speaker 1: so when we start to do that work to build
Speaker 1: confidence in our own skill set, and if you don't
Speaker 1: feel confident, you know, asking someone like me from the
Speaker 1: outside to look at your experience and help big you up,
Speaker 1: like you know, make you show you what a badass
Speaker 1: you are. It can also and maybe it's also a
Speaker 1: point where you're like, I'd feel more confident if I
Speaker 1: had a little bit more of this or a little
Speaker 1: bit more of that. But I can tell you time
Speaker 1: and time again, it's really just about sitting down and
Speaker 1: reminding yourself of who you are, what skills and value
Speaker 1: you bring to the table, and then that starts to become,
Speaker 1: like I said, a talisman that helps carry you forward
Speaker 1: more confidently. And then you can start making job choices
Speaker 1: from a place of self confidence and you're not so
Speaker 1: beholden to getting that affirmation and the value from other places,
Speaker 1: because you know deep down you've got you, You've got
Speaker 1: what it takes to bounce back if and when someone
Speaker 1: else decides that you know you're dispensable, you're disposable all right, Trinika,
Speaker 1: thank you again for your question. Thank y'all bea fan
Speaker 1: for letting me answer y'all's questions again. You can hit
Speaker 1: us up. We are brand Ambition podcast on Instagram, so
Speaker 1: slide into our DM send us a question, type it
Speaker 1: out if you want it read on the show. But hey,
Speaker 1: if you want to potentially be in the audience or sorry,
Speaker 1: in the studio with us, then you can leave a
Speaker 1: voice note with your full question and you may be
Speaker 1: hearing from our producer. You never know until next time,
Speaker 1: ba Fam, I am Mandy Money. I will see y'all later. Bye, Hey,
Speaker 1: ba Fam. We could not do this show without your
Speaker 1: support or the support of our team behind the scenes.
Speaker 1: The Brown Emission podcast is produced by Cumulus Podcast Network.
Speaker 1: It's edited by the wonderful Imani Crosby and produced by
Speaker 1: Tanya Bustos. Dennis Stimplinsky is our in house tech curu,
Speaker 1: and I am Bandy Woodard Santos, your co host, and
Speaker 1: I will see y'all next week.