WEBVTT - Ep 334: There's No Such Thing As A Stable Job 0:00:06.160 --> 0:00:10.600 Hey, va fam, It's time for the va Qa. The 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:14.920 va qa ah the va Qa. Y'all have no idea 0:00:14.960 --> 0:00:16.720 how self conscious I am when I have to sing 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:20.400 that song by myself. But here I am writing solo 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:24.440 for this week's edition of the Baqa. I hope that's 0:00:24.480 --> 0:00:27.720 okay with y'all. I'm gonna take some really juicy career 0:00:27.800 --> 0:00:30.200 questions because I just can't help myself. When I sat 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:33.239 down to choose questions today from our listeners, I was like, 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:36.080 I can't answer money questions. I know some stuff even 0:00:36.120 --> 0:00:39.520 though Taviny's not here. But then I just got into 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:42.000 the career questions and I can't help myself. I love 0:00:42.080 --> 0:00:44.959 this so much, and y'all have some really really interesting 0:00:45.000 --> 0:00:48.640 career challenges happening today. I'm your girl, Mandy Money, so 0:00:48.720 --> 0:00:50.720 let's get into it. Just a quick reminder, if you 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:53.159 want to submit a question for the show, you got 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:55.720 a couple of options. The best and fastest way to 0:00:55.760 --> 0:00:58.040 get into our inbox is to head over to ig 0:00:58.720 --> 0:01:01.840 make sure you follow at Ambition Podcast and slide into 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:04.160 our DMS. You can submit your question there. If you 0:01:04.160 --> 0:01:06.720 want us to just read your question, go ahead and 0:01:06.760 --> 0:01:08.840 type it out. If you'd like to be considered to 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:11.920 be a guest in our studio doing a live Q 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:14.600 and A. Then send us a voice message. You only 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:16.520 get sixty seconds. You may have to break it up 0:01:16.520 --> 0:01:18.920 into a couple of different voice notes, but go ahead 0:01:18.920 --> 0:01:21.600 and submit your question via a voice note, and you 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:26.480 may be asked to join BA in the studio. So exciting, 0:01:27.040 --> 0:01:29.679 all right, But today I am shaking up this money 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:32.920 mail bag and I'm answering y'all's career question. So let's 0:01:32.920 --> 0:01:37.080 get into it. Our first question comes from listener Elena. Elena, 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:39.720 my heart goes out to you already, but let's get 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:44.440 into this. Elena says, how does one prepare financially for 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:48.080 pregnancy and having your first child? I recently found out 0:01:48.120 --> 0:01:50.960 I'm expecting, I'm married, we have no debt, we max 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:53.760 out our retirement accounts, and we have a two bedroom apartment. 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:57.920 Plus we both make six figures. Okay, Elena, flex on them. 0:01:58.920 --> 0:02:03.320 My current companies HR policy states that maternity leave will 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:07.440 run concurrently to FMLA. Is this common? I thought I 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:10.600 could take four months off maternity leave and then add 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:14.079 on the twelve week FMLA. Any thoughts. I'm going to 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:16.440 stop there, even though Elena has a couple of more questions, 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:19.480 Because girl, I was the exact same as you when 0:02:19.480 --> 0:02:22.480 I found out I was expecting my first son. I 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:25.360 was working full time for a company that offered only 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:28.840 was it eight weeks When I started think, they bumped 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:31.560 it to twelve weeks, and I too was like, oh, 0:02:31.639 --> 0:02:35.440 I can just take my company paid maternity leave and 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:37.840 then I also get FMLA on top of that, but nope. 0:02:37.880 --> 0:02:40.880 Then I also learned what the word concurrently means. It 0:02:40.960 --> 0:02:44.880 means that you actually do not get to just stack 0:02:44.919 --> 0:02:49.680 on your FMLA to your company's paid time off. It sucks, 0:02:50.040 --> 0:02:53.600 but it's true basically what FMLA does, and that stands 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:56.600 for the Family and Medical Leave Act, which is the 0:02:56.760 --> 0:03:01.359 least that America decided to do for working families who 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:03.800 want to start families or have families, because it's like 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:08.440 the bare minimum you are, I believe, just guaranteed twelve 0:03:08.720 --> 0:03:12.440 months or sorry, twelve weeks of coverage if you were 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:14.360 to leave your job, like you would come back and 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:17.000 you should still have a job for those twelve weeks. 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:20.160 But it does not provide any other benefits and does 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:23.680 not pay you, And of course it's not required for 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:27.440 companies to offer paid parental leaf. The only reason companies 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:30.960 do is because rightfully so, they realize they need to 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:33.880 attract talent. And one of the best ways they can 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:36.720 attract talent, because our company or our country is kind 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:39.000 of trash when it comes to our parental leave, is 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:41.760 to offer parental leave right the same way that our 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:46.280 companies become our source of health benefits, because until Obamacare, 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:49.640 there wasn't a marketplace. There wasn't an easy way for 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:52.760 an everyday worker to get health benefits if it weren't 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:55.040 for their employer providing it. So you see how they 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:57.320 get us. You see how they convince us that we 0:03:57.360 --> 0:03:59.960 need to work for the man. The man's got our benefit, 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:04.320 he's got our maternity leave, he's got our health care benefits. Okay, 0:04:05.280 --> 0:04:09.040 so well played the man. But let me talk to you. So, 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:12.120 when you're preparing for your first kid, I think you're 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:15.600 doing exactly right when it comes to going through your 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:19.640 company's parental leave policy and really understanding it and running 0:04:19.640 --> 0:04:21.920 through it with a fine tooth comb and even hopping 0:04:21.920 --> 0:04:24.440 on the phone with your benefits department so that you 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:27.160 can even further understand and make sure that you're you know, 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:31.440 comprehending everything correctly. I was a little surprised myself by 0:04:32.320 --> 0:04:35.640 the complexities that go into like going on maternity leave 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:38.440 and the forms you have to fill out, and technically 0:04:38.520 --> 0:04:40.840 it's considered a disability, so I had to file some 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:45.039 disability paperwork. It was a lot, and so I would 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:47.440 just say, take your time with it, and yeah, there 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:50.000 may be a rude awakening for those of y'all who 0:04:50.080 --> 0:04:53.080 aren't you thinking of having a kid now, And maybe 0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:55.920 that's not top of your mind when you're choosing where 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:57.920 to work, and maybe you don't mind that they don't 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:00.920 have paid maternity leave, or if they do that it's 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:03.000 only you know, a short amount of time. Maybe it's 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:04.840 not your you know, top of your list right now. 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:08.200 But as soon as it becomes real and you do 0:05:08.360 --> 0:05:11.680 have you know, either your expecting or your partner is, 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:14.280 and then you want to, you know, find out about 0:05:14.279 --> 0:05:16.359 your benefits, you may be in for a bit of 0:05:16.360 --> 0:05:20.239 a rude awakening. While parental leave is getting more common, 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:23.760 it still is not as generous at very many companies. 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:26.640 I think that we've you know, heard of like big 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:30.839 tech companies offering like six months parental leave even for 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:34.479 the spouse like it's crazy, but that's certainly not the 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:37.480 case in so many different industries and so many different companies, 0:05:37.520 --> 0:05:40.560 So definitely look at your policy closely. And then you 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:43.120 got to make a game plan. Really, you have to decide, 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:45.720 you know, if we're going to finance our own leave, 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:48.520 Like let's say, for example, you want to take your 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:50.800 companies full four months, but you want to do an 0:05:50.800 --> 0:05:53.680 additional two months on top of that. You know, do 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:56.480 you have enough money in the bank because you wouldn't 0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:59.520 be paid for that time to cover that time off. 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:02.839 And then you have to think about will my company 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:05.640 be okay with me taking an extended leave, and what 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:07.400 assurances do I have from them that I'll have a 0:06:07.480 --> 0:06:10.120 job when I come back. I'm not an employment law attorney. 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:13.000 I should have started off by saying that, But I'm 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:16.640 guessing that if it's outside that twelve week Family and 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:19.520 Medical Leave Act window where you have to you know, 0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:22.240 your job is protected under that Act while you're on leave. 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:23.960 If you go beyond that, then I'm going to assume 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:27.480 it's not protected. But shit, I mean, let me be honest. 0:06:27.520 --> 0:06:30.040 I found out last week that in the middle of 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:33.719 Twitter and Elon Musk laying off half of its freaking workforce. 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:36.760 That one of the people who was laid off was 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:40.440 in the middle of her maternity leave. Yeah, so even 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:44.279 though she qualified for maternity leave, she was still let 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:47.280 go smack in the middle of it. Right now, they 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:51.240 get severance and she'll be fine. But it just goes 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:55.279 to show that the policy is the policy until the 0:06:55.320 --> 0:07:01.680 company's business and bottom line and what shareholders wants becomes 0:07:01.800 --> 0:07:05.360 the greater, you know, the greater important thing in that moment. 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:08.320 So it is what it is. But let's go on 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:11.680 to the rest of your questions. You say, before finding 0:07:11.720 --> 0:07:14.040 out I was pregnant, I was getting ready to apply 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:16.880 for new jobs. But now it seems like I wouldn't 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:19.320 be able to get maternity leave and a new company 0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:23.280 or any job security. Should I wait to leave until 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:27.640 after I return from maternity leave? Oh, this is a 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:31.280 juicy one. And you know, I've actually talked to women 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:34.400 who have applied for jobs while they're pregnant and haven't 0:07:34.400 --> 0:07:36.800 told them. And you know, thanks to the pandemic and 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:40.400 the increase of remote working, they can't see below your neck. 0:07:40.560 --> 0:07:44.480 So who's to say she's expecting it's perfectly fine to 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:46.440 take a job you can be nine months pregnant and 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:49.040 take a job. In fact, I remember the CEO of 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:53.080 Yahoo where I worked about a decade ago, Marissa Meyer. 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:55.840 She had come from Google. It was a whole big thing. 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:58.600 It was like a pop culture moment meets tech at 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:01.120 the same time. And Marissa Meyer took that job when 0:08:01.160 --> 0:08:04.200 she was pregnant with twins, like very publicly visibly pregnant 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:08.200 with twins. Yeah, and it happens, and it's fine, But 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:11.240 you do want to review your benefits package. You don't 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:12.800 have to tell them why, but you should say I 0:08:12.800 --> 0:08:15.080 want the full benefits package. Please for my own review 0:08:15.680 --> 0:08:18.200 and find out what you need to do in order 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:20.480 to qualify for their paid leave. They may have some 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:22.680 sort of fine print that says you have to work 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:25.760 here for at least six months or a year. I 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:28.120 worked for a company that said if I left within 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:30.760 a year of coming back from maternity leave, that I 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:34.360 have to pay them back for my leave. Yeah. Now 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:39.040 that is not totally uncommon, so I would definitely read 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:41.920 your fine print. But to your point about, like, you 0:08:41.960 --> 0:08:43.760 want to apply for new jobs, but it seems like 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:46.080 you wouldn't be able to get maternity leave in a 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:49.680 new company or any job security, like I would fight 0:08:49.720 --> 0:08:52.920 fear with facts in that case, like get some job offers, 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:55.840 go do the interview and find out what their benefits 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:59.079 package is. Maybe asking for their benefits package is one 0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:01.800 of the first things you request from the recruiter so 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:02.920 that you can kind of get it out of the 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:06.680 way and you know, weed them out based on if 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:09.880 they are allowing you to get parental leave right away. 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:13.040 Another example is that I had a friend who got 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:15.880 a job at Google. He was working at Etsy at 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:19.920 the time. Google recruited him. His wife was expecting, and 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:23.040 they were like, go ahead, come to Google and you 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:25.720 can take your first you can take your six months 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:28.280 this is Google. Okay, you can take your six months 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:32.080 of parental leave before you even start. Okay. I was like, say, 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:35.480 what so some companies are pretty generous with it, but 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:37.559 you have to actually get in a place where you're 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:40.280 getting offers so you can review them before you make 0:09:40.320 --> 0:09:43.360 a decision, right, Elena. So that's what I'm constantly talking 0:09:43.360 --> 0:09:47.280 to my clients about is don't wonder, get some facts, 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:49.320 And the best way to get facts is to always 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:52.000 be looking and taking those interviews. You ain't got to 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:54.120 tell them you're expecting. It takes a long time to 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:56.120 cook a nugget, you know what I mean, cook a baby. 0:09:56.520 --> 0:09:59.199 So you may interview now and then you may get 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:01.800 like six months with company and then take your leave. 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:04.280 But you do want to find out for your own purposes, 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:06.960 like what their policy is and all of that. So no, 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:10.319 I would not at all say that you shouldn't be applying. 0:10:10.360 --> 0:10:12.720 I think you should, especially if you feel like you're ready. 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:15.880 You just want to find a company that treats its families, 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:20.200 treats its workers who have families really well, and you know, 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:23.120 do your own research to find out what their own 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:25.240 what their benefits are, and see how well supported you 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:29.400 would be. Okay, now let's play Devil's advocate and kind 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:31.080 of look at what would happen if you were to 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:34.599 wait until you come back from a trinity leave to 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:37.520 then leave your company and start looking. Well, let me 0:10:37.559 --> 0:10:39.800 tell you something. I want to tell you a little thing. 0:10:39.880 --> 0:10:41.760 This is your first child. Okay, you don't have one yet. 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:46.520 Something dies in you when you're kidding, But the reality 0:10:46.600 --> 0:10:51.160 is that after you have a kid, things just get harder. Elena. 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:53.920 And when as long as you're past the first trimester, 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:56.640 you know you got energy, you have all your brain 0:10:56.760 --> 0:10:59.440 is still in your head, and you remember things and 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:02.000 you spark and all that. It took me about a 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:04.840 year before I felt sparkly and before I felt like 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:07.520 I could, you know, really bring my whole self to 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:10.120 the table again after I had my son. It just 0:11:10.200 --> 0:11:13.160 takes so much out of you. So I honestly would 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:16.120 vote for do the interviews, get the job, sparkle and 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:18.720 shine and get the great you know, do the negotiating 0:11:18.760 --> 0:11:20.440 all of that to become to put yourself in a 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:23.520 great job before you have the kid. Because when you 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:26.400 come back from attornity leave, oh, the emotions of coming 0:11:26.440 --> 0:11:29.559 back to work, plus the fact that a tiny human 0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:32.080 has left your body and taken like ninety percent of 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:35.200 your brain with it somehow. On the White House, I'm 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:39.200 just saying, there's pros to doing the job search while 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:43.560 you are just worrying about yourself and your partner, while 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:45.360 you have all the time in the world to prep 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:47.679 for interviews and to put your best foot forward through 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:51.679 the interview process. Okay, Also, can we go back to 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:54.599 your question about like should I leave or should I 0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:57.240 stay where I have some job security? Remember what I 0:11:57.280 --> 0:11:59.960 said about that woman who I heard about at Twitter 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:03.320 who was laid off during maternity leave. Listen, there is 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:06.080 no such thing as a stable job. There's no such 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:08.839 thing as total job security, no matter how secure you 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:13.440 think your job is. As soon as that company's business 0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:17.240 needs change and move in a different direction, believe me 0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:20.520 and trust they will pivot in that new direction, come 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:24.000 hell or come high water. Inevitably it will happen, even 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:26.640 if they try to delay it. It's just the reality. 0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:30.400 And way too often in jobs that we think are stable, 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:33.440 we are thrown out on our asses and come to 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:37.440 the really uncomfortable realization that, oh shit, the whole time 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:39.480 I thought I was in a stable situation, but I 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:43.080 was always dispensable to them. You know, That's just the 0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:46.240 reality of what it is. So I definitely wouldn't think 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:50.160 that you're guaranteed any sort of security, you know, just 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:54.040 because you're working for a company. Okay, let's see you 0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:56.400 ask And then you have a final question here. Your 0:12:56.480 --> 0:12:59.720 husband's company doesn't offer paternity leave. He plans to take 0:12:59.760 --> 0:13:02.800 his MLA, so has twelve weeks of unpaid leave. Any 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:04.640 advice on how to go about this or can we 0:13:04.720 --> 0:13:07.120 nudge the company to get with the times? And provide 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:10.000 leave for dads. Well, you can do what you can 0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:12.000 to nudge the company, but I would say, like, what 0:13:12.040 --> 0:13:13.240 are you going to do, like write a letter to 0:13:13.360 --> 0:13:16.200 HR saying we'd really like if you would give us 0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:19.480 paid leave for you know, fathers or spouses and partners 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.760 as well. You could try, but I'm telling you there's 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:25.640 no greater message than I'm turning in my two weeks notice. 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:29.360 And here's why my wife is expecting I'm not able 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:31.920 to take off paid leave to be a supportive partner. 0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:34.360 So I'm going to go to this company which has 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:38.320 generously offered me twelve weeks of paid leave. There's no 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:41.880 better message than on your way out the door telling 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:44.440 them why you're leaving and making sure they know that 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:48.880 unpaid parental leave is one of the main factors you've 0:13:48.880 --> 0:13:52.000 taken into consideration before you turned in your notice. That 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:55.320 is a message that HR will hear, because the last 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:57.079 thing HR wants to do, even though it's like kind 0:13:57.080 --> 0:13:59.280 of their jobs, is spend a bunch of time recruiting 0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:01.800 replacements or people who have left, you know, so the 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:05.560 benefits department. And here's the other thing. I remember myself 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:09.320 working at a company that offered really like crap parental leave. 0:14:09.360 --> 0:14:11.600 It was eight weeks when I first started, eight paid weeks, 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:15.680 and I remember being like, this is really shitty, and 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:18.720 the benefits person saying, yeah, we're trying to fix it. 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:22.120 Please let us know if you almost didn't take this 0:14:22.240 --> 0:14:24.840 job because of our parental leave, because that makes their 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:27.640 jobs easier, they can make a better case for improving 0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:29.360 their benefits when they have to go to the board 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:32.840 and ask for those types of you know, improvements and adjustments. 0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:36.000 So I know we're not talking about your husband thinking 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:38.440 about quitting his job, and maybe it's too much too soon, 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:41.000 but I'm just saying there are plenty of companies that 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:43.680 offer paid leave. I wish they were more, But if 0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:45.560 it really means a lot to you, then I mean 0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:47.360 he should be hitting the job market too and working 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:51.560 for a company that offers those benefits. Otherwise, your option 0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:53.560 is for him to take his twelve weeks of unpaid 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:56.040 FMLA leave and then you guys have got to figure 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:59.000 out without his income for those twelve weeks. You know 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:01.160 what expect and says are you going to reduce or 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:03.680 how can you make it work with just the four 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:05.360 months of paid leave that you're going to be getting 0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:10.040 from your job, you know, is an adulting fun. Oh god, 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:12.720 nothing felt me made me feel more like a grown 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:16.360 up than having a child. Oh my lord. Anyway, Elena, 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:18.800 thank you for this question. I hope that so many 0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:22.280 listeners identified with you. And hey, you may not think 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:23.840 that you're ready for a kid. I sure as hell 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:25.720 did it until I was until I was thirty two, 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:28.240 and then I was like, oh, okay, let's do this thing. 0:15:28.600 --> 0:15:31.000 But before that you may not think that it's the 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:33.400 most important thing as you're looking for companies to work for, 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:36.120 But why not go ahead if you even think that 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:37.720 you may want children and you may want to work 0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:40.480 at a company for a while. Take that into consideration 0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:42.960 when you're weighing your options and ask questions about their 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:45.480 parental leaf policy. You're well within your right to do it, 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:48.760 and companies need to know that job candidates are woke 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:51.200 to the fact that they have to come to the 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:54.680 table with benefits that you know, honor the fact that 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:57.520 it's really fricking hard to be a working parent in 0:15:57.520 --> 0:15:59.920 this company and not get paid when you're on leave. 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:02.440 Do you have any idea how much daycare gos like 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:05.600 this shit is crazy. So I need, I need, I 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:07.880 need more people to stand up for themselves in the 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:11.080 job interview process. Ask about those benefits because, like I said, 0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:14.000 when they know that we care, that is when we 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:17.360 really see change happening. All right, Okay, I'm getting off 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:20.040 my soapbox for a little minute. I'll be right back 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:22.680 in just a minute. After these ads to answer another 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:27.640 listener question. This is Mandy Money with brown ambitions baqa 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:29.920 hey va fam. All right, we are back with our 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:33.359 second question. This is a juicy one from my friend Tranika, 0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:36.240 not actually my friend, but after reading your question, I 0:16:36.240 --> 0:16:38.800 feel like I know you. You're all okay, so let's 0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:41.080 get into it. Tranika says, I want to start off 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:42.720 by saying I have been listening to you ladies since 0:16:42.720 --> 0:16:45.920 twenty nineteen. I appreciate all the knowledge you have both 0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:49.040 shared as well as your personal experience. It helps us 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:51.720 all see you as real people with real lives. Yes, 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:54.160 we keep it one hundred year at BA all right, 0:16:54.240 --> 0:16:56.880 not gonna lie, and Trinika says, I want to offer 0:16:56.920 --> 0:16:59.840 my sincere condolences to Tiffany and the loss of Superman. 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:02.600 Thank you for that. My dilemma. Trinika says is, I 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:05.600 have two jobs and I can't keep working them both. 0:17:06.080 --> 0:17:09.119 I was originally working as a home health hospice nurse. 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:11.160 I love the job. I had the freedom to make 0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:14.040 my own schedule, I can have time to do personal things, 0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:16.320 and I get paid well. They even promoted me to 0:17:16.359 --> 0:17:20.240 assist at manager in addition to doing patients visits. I 0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:22.679 applied for the new job because back in July of 0:17:22.760 --> 0:17:25.240 last year, we had a different manager who I disliked 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:28.600 working with her, so I decided to apply for another 0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:31.440 job at a VA hospital. It took forever, but they 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:34.119 finally gave me the job and I took it. But 0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:37.000 since then, my hospice job has hired a new manager 0:17:37.080 --> 0:17:39.240 and she treats me like an important part of the team. 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:42.400 She makes me feel so appreciated. They just moved into 0:17:42.440 --> 0:17:44.720 a new office this week and she asked me to 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:46.520 be the first person to come in and pick out 0:17:46.520 --> 0:17:48.879 an office because she wants me to come work with 0:17:48.920 --> 0:17:51.520 her full time in the day. I currently work full 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:54.119 time days at my other job at the VA, and 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:56.239 then I come and do my hospice patients in the 0:17:56.320 --> 0:17:59.080 evening and I do all my adamin work at night. 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:02.520 This hospice job and the freedom it gives me, plus 0:18:02.560 --> 0:18:04.800 the small team and the closest of the staff is great. 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:08.800 But I was fired from a job many years ago, 0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:11.199 about twenty years ago, and ever since then, I've had 0:18:11.240 --> 0:18:13.480 the fear that someone may walk in and say, look, 0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:16.280 I don't like you anymore. You're fired. I know that's 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:19.080 an exaggeration, but it's one of the reasons why I've 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:22.240 always had two jobs. But the big issue is that 0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:25.400 I don't like my second job that much. I micromanaged 0:18:25.400 --> 0:18:28.080 to the extreme. I work as a nursing assistant instead 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:30.359 of a nurse, so I don't feel that I'm given 0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:33.480 opportunity to grow or use my skill set. But the 0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:36.919 advantage of my second job is the union and the benefits. 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:38.960 I hope I was able to explain this in a 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:42.080 way that makes sense. Both jobs pay the same, by 0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:46.560 the way, Okay, Trinika, actually this is hilarious. You ended 0:18:46.560 --> 0:18:50.159 this whole explanation without a question. But I am going 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:53.240 to assume that you want some advice on whether or 0:18:53.280 --> 0:18:55.680 not you should be keeping these two jobs. All right, 0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:58.600 I can one thousand percent identify with what it feels 0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:02.719 like to want to have a backup you know, like 0:19:02.760 --> 0:19:06.160 you found out you were fired, you know, twenty years ago, 0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:08.000 and that still stays with you. I was laid off 0:19:08.040 --> 0:19:09.960 over ten years ago, and that still stays with me. 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:13.679 It's the message of oh, our fates are not entirely 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:15.399 our own when we put them in the hands of 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:19.679 an employer. But here's the thing I want you to think, Like, 0:19:19.920 --> 0:19:22.119 stick with me for like a minute, and imagine for 0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:25.960 a second who you are now and who you weren't 0:19:25.960 --> 0:19:29.879 twenty years ago, and who you are today twenty years later, 0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:33.440 is someone with over twenty years of experience in your field, 0:19:34.040 --> 0:19:39.040 someone whose talents have been observed and recognized so much 0:19:39.080 --> 0:19:41.600 so that two places were wanting to hire you at 0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:45.560 the same damn time. And you are finally feeling what 0:19:45.760 --> 0:19:48.960 the you know, the lovely side effects are of being 0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:52.359 appreciated at work and your job at the hospice center, 0:19:52.440 --> 0:19:54.840 like you said, they give you freedom, they give you autonomy, 0:19:54.880 --> 0:19:56.840 They respect and value you like girl, They let you 0:19:56.840 --> 0:19:59.280 come in and pick your own office. Like that's incredible 0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:03.520 and it's very it's sweet when you actually work someplace 0:20:03.560 --> 0:20:05.280 that values you. But I think you need to value 0:20:05.320 --> 0:20:08.560 yourself as well. And I think you need to kind 0:20:08.560 --> 0:20:11.600