1 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,600 Speaker 1: Hey, va fam, It's time for the va Qa. The 2 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: va qa ah the va Qa. Y'all have no idea 3 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: how self conscious I am when I have to sing 4 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: that song by myself. But here I am writing solo 5 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:24,440 Speaker 1: for this week's edition of the Baqa. I hope that's 6 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: okay with y'all. I'm gonna take some really juicy career 7 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: questions because I just can't help myself. When I sat 8 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,239 Speaker 1: down to choose questions today from our listeners, I was like, 9 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: I can't answer money questions. I know some stuff even 10 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,520 Speaker 1: though Taviny's not here. But then I just got into 11 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: the career questions and I can't help myself. I love 12 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,959 Speaker 1: this so much, and y'all have some really really interesting 13 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 1: career challenges happening today. I'm your girl, Mandy Money, so 14 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: let's get into it. Just a quick reminder, if you 15 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 1: want to submit a question for the show, you got 16 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 1: a couple of options. The best and fastest way to 17 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,040 Speaker 1: get into our inbox is to head over to ig 18 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 1: make sure you follow at Ambition Podcast and slide into 19 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,160 Speaker 1: our DMS. You can submit your question there. If you 20 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: want us to just read your question, go ahead and 21 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,840 Speaker 1: type it out. If you'd like to be considered to 22 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 1: be a guest in our studio doing a live Q 23 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: and A. Then send us a voice message. You only 24 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,520 Speaker 1: get sixty seconds. You may have to break it up 25 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: into a couple of different voice notes, but go ahead 26 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 1: and submit your question via a voice note, and you 27 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 1: may be asked to join BA in the studio. So exciting, 28 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,679 Speaker 1: all right, But today I am shaking up this money 29 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 1: mail bag and I'm answering y'all's career question. So let's 30 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 1: get into it. Our first question comes from listener Elena. Elena, 31 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 1: my heart goes out to you already, but let's get 32 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: into this. Elena says, how does one prepare financially for 33 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 1: pregnancy and having your first child? I recently found out 34 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: I'm expecting, I'm married, we have no debt, we max 35 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 1: out our retirement accounts, and we have a two bedroom apartment. 36 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: Plus we both make six figures. Okay, Elena, flex on them. 37 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:03,320 Speaker 1: My current companies HR policy states that maternity leave will 38 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 1: run concurrently to FMLA. Is this common? I thought I 39 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: could take four months off maternity leave and then add 40 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:14,079 Speaker 1: on the twelve week FMLA. Any thoughts. I'm going to 41 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 1: stop there, even though Elena has a couple of more questions, 42 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: Because girl, I was the exact same as you when 43 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 1: I found out I was expecting my first son. I 44 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 1: was working full time for a company that offered only 45 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: was it eight weeks When I started think, they bumped 46 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 1: it to twelve weeks, and I too was like, oh, 47 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: I can just take my company paid maternity leave and 48 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 1: then I also get FMLA on top of that, but nope. 49 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: Then I also learned what the word concurrently means. It 50 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 1: means that you actually do not get to just stack 51 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 1: on your FMLA to your company's paid time off. It sucks, 52 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 1: but it's true basically what FMLA does, and that stands 53 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: for the Family and Medical Leave Act, which is the 54 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 1: least that America decided to do for working families who 55 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,800 Speaker 1: want to start families or have families, because it's like 56 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 1: the bare minimum you are, I believe, just guaranteed twelve 57 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: months or sorry, twelve weeks of coverage if you were 58 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,360 Speaker 1: to leave your job, like you would come back and 59 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: you should still have a job for those twelve weeks. 60 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 1: But it does not provide any other benefits and does 61 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 1: not pay you, And of course it's not required for 62 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: companies to offer paid parental leaf. The only reason companies 63 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 1: do is because rightfully so, they realize they need to 64 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: attract talent. And one of the best ways they can 65 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:36,720 Speaker 1: attract talent, because our company or our country is kind 66 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 1: of trash when it comes to our parental leave, is 67 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 1: to offer parental leave right the same way that our 68 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 1: companies become our source of health benefits, because until Obamacare, 69 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,640 Speaker 1: there wasn't a marketplace. There wasn't an easy way for 70 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 1: an everyday worker to get health benefits if it weren't 71 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: for their employer providing it. So you see how they 72 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: get us. You see how they convince us that we 73 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: need to work for the man. The man's got our benefit, 74 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 1: he's got our maternity leave, he's got our health care benefits. Okay, 75 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 1: so well played the man. But let me talk to you. So, 76 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 1: when you're preparing for your first kid, I think you're 77 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: doing exactly right when it comes to going through your 78 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: company's parental leave policy and really understanding it and running 79 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: through it with a fine tooth comb and even hopping 80 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: on the phone with your benefits department so that you 81 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,160 Speaker 1: can even further understand and make sure that you're you know, 82 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 1: comprehending everything correctly. I was a little surprised myself by 83 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 1: the complexities that go into like going on maternity leave 84 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: and the forms you have to fill out, and technically 85 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,840 Speaker 1: it's considered a disability, so I had to file some 86 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:45,039 Speaker 1: disability paperwork. It was a lot, and so I would 87 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: just say, take your time with it, and yeah, there 88 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 1: may be a rude awakening for those of y'all who 89 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: aren't you thinking of having a kid now, And maybe 90 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,920 Speaker 1: that's not top of your mind when you're choosing where 91 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,920 Speaker 1: to work, and maybe you don't mind that they don't 92 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,920 Speaker 1: have paid maternity leave, or if they do that it's 93 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: only you know, a short amount of time. Maybe it's 94 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,840 Speaker 1: not your you know, top of your list right now. 95 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 1: But as soon as it becomes real and you do 96 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 1: have you know, either your expecting or your partner is, 97 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,280 Speaker 1: and then you want to, you know, find out about 98 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:16,359 Speaker 1: your benefits, you may be in for a bit of 99 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:20,239 Speaker 1: a rude awakening. While parental leave is getting more common, 100 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: it still is not as generous at very many companies. 101 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: I think that we've you know, heard of like big 102 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:30,839 Speaker 1: tech companies offering like six months parental leave even for 103 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:34,479 Speaker 1: the spouse like it's crazy, but that's certainly not the 104 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 1: case in so many different industries and so many different companies, 105 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,560 Speaker 1: So definitely look at your policy closely. And then you 106 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 1: got to make a game plan. Really, you have to decide, 107 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,720 Speaker 1: you know, if we're going to finance our own leave, 108 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 1: Like let's say, for example, you want to take your 109 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 1: companies full four months, but you want to do an 110 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: additional two months on top of that. You know, do 111 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,480 Speaker 1: you have enough money in the bank because you wouldn't 112 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: be paid for that time to cover that time off. 113 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,839 Speaker 1: And then you have to think about will my company 114 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 1: be okay with me taking an extended leave, and what 115 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 1: assurances do I have from them that I'll have a 116 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 1: job when I come back. I'm not an employment law attorney. 117 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,000 Speaker 1: I should have started off by saying that, But I'm 118 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 1: guessing that if it's outside that twelve week Family and 119 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 1: Medical Leave Act window where you have to you know, 120 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: your job is protected under that Act while you're on leave. 121 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 1: If you go beyond that, then I'm going to assume 122 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,480 Speaker 1: it's not protected. But shit, I mean, let me be honest. 123 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,040 Speaker 1: I found out last week that in the middle of 124 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:33,719 Speaker 1: Twitter and Elon Musk laying off half of its freaking workforce. 125 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 1: That one of the people who was laid off was 126 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 1: in the middle of her maternity leave. Yeah, so even 127 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:44,279 Speaker 1: though she qualified for maternity leave, she was still let 128 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,280 Speaker 1: go smack in the middle of it. Right now, they 129 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:51,240 Speaker 1: get severance and she'll be fine. But it just goes 130 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:55,279 Speaker 1: to show that the policy is the policy until the 131 00:06:55,320 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 1: company's business and bottom line and what shareholders wants becomes 132 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: the greater, you know, the greater important thing in that moment. 133 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 1: So it is what it is. But let's go on 134 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:11,680 Speaker 1: to the rest of your questions. You say, before finding 135 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: out I was pregnant, I was getting ready to apply 136 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,880 Speaker 1: for new jobs. But now it seems like I wouldn't 137 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 1: be able to get maternity leave and a new company 138 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 1: or any job security. Should I wait to leave until 139 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 1: after I return from maternity leave? Oh, this is a 140 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 1: juicy one. And you know, I've actually talked to women 141 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 1: who have applied for jobs while they're pregnant and haven't 142 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 1: told them. And you know, thanks to the pandemic and 143 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: the increase of remote working, they can't see below your neck. 144 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 1: So who's to say she's expecting it's perfectly fine to 145 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 1: take a job you can be nine months pregnant and 146 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 1: take a job. In fact, I remember the CEO of 147 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 1: Yahoo where I worked about a decade ago, Marissa Meyer. 148 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: She had come from Google. It was a whole big thing. 149 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,600 Speaker 1: It was like a pop culture moment meets tech at 150 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: the same time. And Marissa Meyer took that job when 151 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: she was pregnant with twins, like very publicly visibly pregnant 152 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 1: with twins. Yeah, and it happens, and it's fine, But 153 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: you do want to review your benefits package. You don't 154 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: have to tell them why, but you should say I 155 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: want the full benefits package. Please for my own review 156 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 1: and find out what you need to do in order 157 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: to qualify for their paid leave. They may have some 158 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 1: sort of fine print that says you have to work 159 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 1: here for at least six months or a year. I 160 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: worked for a company that said if I left within 161 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: a year of coming back from maternity leave, that I 162 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 1: have to pay them back for my leave. Yeah. Now 163 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:39,040 Speaker 1: that is not totally uncommon, so I would definitely read 164 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,920 Speaker 1: your fine print. But to your point about, like, you 165 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: want to apply for new jobs, but it seems like 166 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,080 Speaker 1: you wouldn't be able to get maternity leave in a 167 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 1: new company or any job security, like I would fight 168 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 1: fear with facts in that case, like get some job offers, 169 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,840 Speaker 1: go do the interview and find out what their benefits 170 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:59,079 Speaker 1: package is. Maybe asking for their benefits package is one 171 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,800 Speaker 1: of the first things you request from the recruiter so 172 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: that you can kind of get it out of the 173 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:06,680 Speaker 1: way and you know, weed them out based on if 174 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 1: they are allowing you to get parental leave right away. 175 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: Another example is that I had a friend who got 176 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 1: a job at Google. He was working at Etsy at 177 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 1: the time. Google recruited him. His wife was expecting, and 178 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: they were like, go ahead, come to Google and you 179 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 1: can take your first you can take your six months 180 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 1: this is Google. Okay, you can take your six months 181 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 1: of parental leave before you even start. Okay. I was like, say, 182 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 1: what so some companies are pretty generous with it, but 183 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,559 Speaker 1: you have to actually get in a place where you're 184 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 1: getting offers so you can review them before you make 185 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,360 Speaker 1: a decision, right, Elena. So that's what I'm constantly talking 186 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 1: to my clients about is don't wonder, get some facts, 187 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,320 Speaker 1: And the best way to get facts is to always 188 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 1: be looking and taking those interviews. You ain't got to 189 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 1: tell them you're expecting. It takes a long time to 190 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 1: cook a nugget, you know what I mean, cook a baby. 191 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,199 Speaker 1: So you may interview now and then you may get 192 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: like six months with company and then take your leave. 193 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 1: But you do want to find out for your own purposes, 194 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,960 Speaker 1: like what their policy is and all of that. So no, 195 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,319 Speaker 1: I would not at all say that you shouldn't be applying. 196 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: I think you should, especially if you feel like you're ready. 197 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: You just want to find a company that treats its families, 198 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 1: treats its workers who have families really well, and you know, 199 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: do your own research to find out what their own 200 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 1: what their benefits are, and see how well supported you 201 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 1: would be. Okay, now let's play Devil's advocate and kind 202 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,080 Speaker 1: of look at what would happen if you were to 203 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,599 Speaker 1: wait until you come back from a trinity leave to 204 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,520 Speaker 1: then leave your company and start looking. Well, let me 205 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:39,800 Speaker 1: tell you something. I want to tell you a little thing. 206 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: This is your first child. Okay, you don't have one yet. 207 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:46,520 Speaker 1: Something dies in you when you're kidding, But the reality 208 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 1: is that after you have a kid, things just get harder. Elena. 209 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,920 Speaker 1: And when as long as you're past the first trimester, 210 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,640 Speaker 1: you know you got energy, you have all your brain 211 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,440 Speaker 1: is still in your head, and you remember things and 212 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 1: you spark and all that. It took me about a 213 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,840 Speaker 1: year before I felt sparkly and before I felt like 214 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 1: I could, you know, really bring my whole self to 215 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: the table again after I had my son. It just 216 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: takes so much out of you. So I honestly would 217 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,120 Speaker 1: vote for do the interviews, get the job, sparkle and 218 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 1: shine and get the great you know, do the negotiating 219 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,440 Speaker 1: all of that to become to put yourself in a 220 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:23,520 Speaker 1: great job before you have the kid. Because when you 221 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 1: come back from attornity leave, oh, the emotions of coming 222 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,559 Speaker 1: back to work, plus the fact that a tiny human 223 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,080 Speaker 1: has left your body and taken like ninety percent of 224 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:35,200 Speaker 1: your brain with it somehow. On the White House, I'm 225 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:39,200 Speaker 1: just saying, there's pros to doing the job search while 226 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:43,560 Speaker 1: you are just worrying about yourself and your partner, while 227 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 1: you have all the time in the world to prep 228 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,679 Speaker 1: for interviews and to put your best foot forward through 229 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:51,679 Speaker 1: the interview process. Okay, Also, can we go back to 230 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,599 Speaker 1: your question about like should I leave or should I 231 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,240 Speaker 1: stay where I have some job security? Remember what I 232 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 1: said about that woman who I heard about at Twitter 233 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:03,320 Speaker 1: who was laid off during maternity leave. Listen, there is 234 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 1: no such thing as a stable job. There's no such 235 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,839 Speaker 1: thing as total job security, no matter how secure you 236 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:13,440 Speaker 1: think your job is. As soon as that company's business 237 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: needs change and move in a different direction, believe me 238 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 1: and trust they will pivot in that new direction, come 239 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:24,000 Speaker 1: hell or come high water. Inevitably it will happen, even 240 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 1: if they try to delay it. It's just the reality. 241 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 1: And way too often in jobs that we think are stable, 242 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 1: we are thrown out on our asses and come to 243 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:37,440 Speaker 1: the really uncomfortable realization that, oh shit, the whole time 244 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,480 Speaker 1: I thought I was in a stable situation, but I 245 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:43,080 Speaker 1: was always dispensable to them. You know, That's just the 246 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: reality of what it is. So I definitely wouldn't think 247 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: that you're guaranteed any sort of security, you know, just 248 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 1: because you're working for a company. Okay, let's see you 249 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 1: ask And then you have a final question here. Your 250 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 1: husband's company doesn't offer paternity leave. He plans to take 251 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: his MLA, so has twelve weeks of unpaid leave. Any 252 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,640 Speaker 1: advice on how to go about this or can we 253 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,120 Speaker 1: nudge the company to get with the times? And provide 254 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 1: leave for dads. Well, you can do what you can 255 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 1: to nudge the company, but I would say, like, what 256 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 1: are you going to do, like write a letter to 257 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,200 Speaker 1: HR saying we'd really like if you would give us 258 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 1: paid leave for you know, fathers or spouses and partners 259 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,760 Speaker 1: as well. You could try, but I'm telling you there's 260 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: no greater message than I'm turning in my two weeks notice. 261 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:29,360 Speaker 1: And here's why my wife is expecting I'm not able 262 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,920 Speaker 1: to take off paid leave to be a supportive partner. 263 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 1: So I'm going to go to this company which has 264 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:38,320 Speaker 1: generously offered me twelve weeks of paid leave. There's no 265 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: better message than on your way out the door telling 266 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:44,440 Speaker 1: them why you're leaving and making sure they know that 267 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 1: unpaid parental leave is one of the main factors you've 268 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 1: taken into consideration before you turned in your notice. That 269 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:55,320 Speaker 1: is a message that HR will hear, because the last 270 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,079 Speaker 1: thing HR wants to do, even though it's like kind 271 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 1: of their jobs, is spend a bunch of time recruiting 272 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 1: replacements or people who have left, you know, so the 273 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,560 Speaker 1: benefits department. And here's the other thing. I remember myself 274 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:09,320 Speaker 1: working at a company that offered really like crap parental leave. 275 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,600 Speaker 1: It was eight weeks when I first started, eight paid weeks, 276 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 1: and I remember being like, this is really shitty, and 277 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,720 Speaker 1: the benefits person saying, yeah, we're trying to fix it. 278 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 1: Please let us know if you almost didn't take this 279 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 1: job because of our parental leave, because that makes their 280 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,640 Speaker 1: jobs easier, they can make a better case for improving 281 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,360 Speaker 1: their benefits when they have to go to the board 282 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,840 Speaker 1: and ask for those types of you know, improvements and adjustments. 283 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 1: So I know we're not talking about your husband thinking 284 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 1: about quitting his job, and maybe it's too much too soon, 285 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,000 Speaker 1: but I'm just saying there are plenty of companies that 286 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 1: offer paid leave. I wish they were more, But if 287 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 1: it really means a lot to you, then I mean 288 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,360 Speaker 1: he should be hitting the job market too and working 289 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: for a company that offers those benefits. Otherwise, your option 290 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 1: is for him to take his twelve weeks of unpaid 291 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,040 Speaker 1: FMLA leave and then you guys have got to figure 292 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 1: out without his income for those twelve weeks. You know 293 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,160 Speaker 1: what expect and says are you going to reduce or 294 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 1: how can you make it work with just the four 295 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,360 Speaker 1: months of paid leave that you're going to be getting 296 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:10,040 Speaker 1: from your job, you know, is an adulting fun. Oh god, 297 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,720 Speaker 1: nothing felt me made me feel more like a grown 298 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:16,360 Speaker 1: up than having a child. Oh my lord. Anyway, Elena, 299 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 1: thank you for this question. I hope that so many 300 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 1: listeners identified with you. And hey, you may not think 301 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,840 Speaker 1: that you're ready for a kid. I sure as hell 302 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 1: did it until I was until I was thirty two, 303 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 1: and then I was like, oh, okay, let's do this thing. 304 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,000 Speaker 1: But before that you may not think that it's the 305 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,400 Speaker 1: most important thing as you're looking for companies to work for, 306 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,120 Speaker 1: But why not go ahead if you even think that 307 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:37,720 Speaker 1: you may want children and you may want to work 308 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 1: at a company for a while. Take that into consideration 309 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 1: when you're weighing your options and ask questions about their 310 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,480 Speaker 1: parental leaf policy. You're well within your right to do it, 311 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,760 Speaker 1: and companies need to know that job candidates are woke 312 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 1: to the fact that they have to come to the 313 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 1: table with benefits that you know, honor the fact that 314 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 1: it's really fricking hard to be a working parent in 315 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,920 Speaker 1: this company and not get paid when you're on leave. 316 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 1: Do you have any idea how much daycare gos like 317 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,600 Speaker 1: this shit is crazy. So I need, I need, I 318 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 1: need more people to stand up for themselves in the 319 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 1: job interview process. Ask about those benefits because, like I said, 320 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: when they know that we care, that is when we 321 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:17,360 Speaker 1: really see change happening. All right, Okay, I'm getting off 322 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 1: my soapbox for a little minute. I'll be right back 323 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,680 Speaker 1: in just a minute. After these ads to answer another 324 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 1: listener question. This is Mandy Money with brown ambitions baqa 325 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 1: hey va fam. All right, we are back with our 326 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,359 Speaker 1: second question. This is a juicy one from my friend Tranika, 327 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,240 Speaker 1: not actually my friend, but after reading your question, I 328 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,800 Speaker 1: feel like I know you. You're all okay, so let's 329 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,080 Speaker 1: get into it. Tranika says, I want to start off 330 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 1: by saying I have been listening to you ladies since 331 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen. I appreciate all the knowledge you have both 332 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 1: shared as well as your personal experience. It helps us 333 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,720 Speaker 1: all see you as real people with real lives. Yes, 334 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,160 Speaker 1: we keep it one hundred year at BA all right, 335 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,880 Speaker 1: not gonna lie, and Trinika says, I want to offer 336 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,840 Speaker 1: my sincere condolences to Tiffany and the loss of Superman. 337 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 1: Thank you for that. My dilemma. Trinika says is, I 338 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,600 Speaker 1: have two jobs and I can't keep working them both. 339 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:09,119 Speaker 1: I was originally working as a home health hospice nurse. 340 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,160 Speaker 1: I love the job. I had the freedom to make 341 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 1: my own schedule, I can have time to do personal things, 342 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,320 Speaker 1: and I get paid well. They even promoted me to 343 00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:20,240 Speaker 1: assist at manager in addition to doing patients visits. I 344 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,679 Speaker 1: applied for the new job because back in July of 345 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,240 Speaker 1: last year, we had a different manager who I disliked 346 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,600 Speaker 1: working with her, so I decided to apply for another 347 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,440 Speaker 1: job at a VA hospital. It took forever, but they 348 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,119 Speaker 1: finally gave me the job and I took it. But 349 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,000 Speaker 1: since then, my hospice job has hired a new manager 350 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,240 Speaker 1: and she treats me like an important part of the team. 351 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,400 Speaker 1: She makes me feel so appreciated. They just moved into 352 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 1: a new office this week and she asked me to 353 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 1: be the first person to come in and pick out 354 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,879 Speaker 1: an office because she wants me to come work with 355 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 1: her full time in the day. I currently work full 356 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,119 Speaker 1: time days at my other job at the VA, and 357 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,239 Speaker 1: then I come and do my hospice patients in the 358 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 1: evening and I do all my adamin work at night. 359 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 1: This hospice job and the freedom it gives me, plus 360 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 1: the small team and the closest of the staff is great. 361 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,800 Speaker 1: But I was fired from a job many years ago, 362 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,199 Speaker 1: about twenty years ago, and ever since then, I've had 363 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,480 Speaker 1: the fear that someone may walk in and say, look, 364 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: I don't like you anymore. You're fired. I know that's 365 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,080 Speaker 1: an exaggeration, but it's one of the reasons why I've 366 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 1: always had two jobs. But the big issue is that 367 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,400 Speaker 1: I don't like my second job that much. I micromanaged 368 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 1: to the extreme. I work as a nursing assistant instead 369 00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:30,359 Speaker 1: of a nurse, so I don't feel that I'm given 370 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 1: opportunity to grow or use my skill set. But the 371 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,919 Speaker 1: advantage of my second job is the union and the benefits. 372 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,960 Speaker 1: I hope I was able to explain this in a 373 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,080 Speaker 1: way that makes sense. Both jobs pay the same, by 374 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:46,560 Speaker 1: the way, Okay, Trinika, actually this is hilarious. You ended 375 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:50,159 Speaker 1: this whole explanation without a question. But I am going 376 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 1: to assume that you want some advice on whether or 377 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,680 Speaker 1: not you should be keeping these two jobs. All right, 378 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 1: I can one thousand percent identify with what it feels 379 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,719 Speaker 1: like to want to have a backup you know, like 380 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,160 Speaker 1: you found out you were fired, you know, twenty years ago, 381 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,000 Speaker 1: and that still stays with you. I was laid off 382 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,960 Speaker 1: over ten years ago, and that still stays with me. 383 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:13,679 Speaker 1: It's the message of oh, our fates are not entirely 384 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,399 Speaker 1: our own when we put them in the hands of 385 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:19,679 Speaker 1: an employer. But here's the thing I want you to think, Like, 386 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,119 Speaker 1: stick with me for like a minute, and imagine for 387 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:25,960 Speaker 1: a second who you are now and who you weren't 388 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,879 Speaker 1: twenty years ago, and who you are today twenty years later, 389 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,440 Speaker 1: is someone with over twenty years of experience in your field, 390 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 1: someone whose talents have been observed and recognized so much 391 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,600 Speaker 1: so that two places were wanting to hire you at 392 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 1: the same damn time. And you are finally feeling what 393 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,960 Speaker 1: the you know, the lovely side effects are of being 394 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:52,359 Speaker 1: appreciated at work and your job at the hospice center, 395 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 1: like you said, they give you freedom, they give you autonomy, 396 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,840 Speaker 1: They respect and value you like girl, They let you 397 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 1: come in and pick your own office. Like that's incredible 398 00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 1: and it's very it's sweet when you actually work someplace 399 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 1: that values you. But I think you need to value 400 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,560 Speaker 1: yourself as well. And I think you need to kind 401 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,600 Speaker 1: of like shrug your shoulders back and just absorb the 402 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 1: fact that you're not who you were twenty years ago, 403 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 1: and that you have skills, you have experience, you have 404 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 1: a professional network that would be your safety net if 405 00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:24,800 Speaker 1: ever again you were proven to be disposable by a company, 406 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,280 Speaker 1: if they were to let you go, or like you said, 407 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,080 Speaker 1: someone came in who didn't like the way you looked 408 00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,120 Speaker 1: and then just fired you, although that would be illegal. 409 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 1: But anyway, if your greatest fear came true that you 410 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 1: were once again fired or let go through no fault 411 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,120 Speaker 1: of your own, if that were to happen, you wouldn't 412 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:45,080 Speaker 1: be in the same place as you were twenty years ago. Okay, I, 413 00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:48,000 Speaker 1: without knowing very much about you, can tell you that today. 414 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,400 Speaker 1: And it's the same thing that gave me the courage 415 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:54,320 Speaker 1: and the confidence to step away entirely from the corporate 416 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,920 Speaker 1: world in twenty twenty one and launch my business. It's 417 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 1: because if I had done that at twenty ti too, 418 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 1: you know, after I got laid off my first job 419 00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 1: afrom moving to New York. Had I done that back then, 420 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,640 Speaker 1: I couldn't say I was as professionally resilient back then 421 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,280 Speaker 1: as I feel I am now. I could afford to 422 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,880 Speaker 1: take the risk of branching out on my own because 423 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,679 Speaker 1: I have confident that today I am Hella employable and 424 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,760 Speaker 1: even if one place didn't want me, I could find 425 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 1: many others that would because I have developed so many 426 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:26,000 Speaker 1: skills that are in demand. And I know if all 427 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,560 Speaker 1: as fails and tomorrow the world wakes up and they're 428 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:32,200 Speaker 1: like Mandy money is canceled, can't stand her whatever. Please 429 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,760 Speaker 1: don't do that though, Okay, but if that were to happen, 430 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,639 Speaker 1: I would be okay, you know. And I want you 431 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 1: to feel that same level of confidence. When you start 432 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,840 Speaker 1: to realize and you start to have that faith in 433 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,119 Speaker 1: yourself and who you are today and your ability to 434 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:49,720 Speaker 1: be resilient in the face of any kind of professional challenge. God, 435 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 1: it just gives you this like talisman. It gives you 436 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 1: this like glow internally, because then you can go out 437 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,480 Speaker 1: into the world and make decisions not from a place 438 00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,680 Speaker 1: of fear and not from a place of your lack 439 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,359 Speaker 1: of trust and faith in yourself, but from a place 440 00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,720 Speaker 1: of I got me, you know, and I'm going to 441 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 1: be okay even if other people's decisions, you know, leave 442 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 1: me hanging or leave me out in the cold. You 443 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,680 Speaker 1: got you, Trinika. That's how I feel about this. When 444 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,840 Speaker 1: you start to feel that, and I hope what I'm 445 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,040 Speaker 1: saying is resonating with you and you're starting to feel it, 446 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: like look in the mirror and like recognize how far 447 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 1: you've come. I think you'll start to see that it's 448 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,240 Speaker 1: not the second job that you need to provide stability 449 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,919 Speaker 1: because honestly, like they could decide they don't like you 450 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 1: either and fire you. You know, all you're doing is 451 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:39,280 Speaker 1: I think, anyway, not really working on your inner trust 452 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 1: in yourself. So I would sit down and just like 453 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,600 Speaker 1: do some work, you know, really look at who you 454 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:45,560 Speaker 1: are today versus who you were twenty years ago, and 455 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 1: how differently you would handle that situation. Do you have 456 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,080 Speaker 1: more savings in the bank, because twenty years ago, that 457 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 1: wake up call like a taught me when I was 458 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,120 Speaker 1: laid off, taught me I never wanted to be without 459 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,359 Speaker 1: three months of savings in the bank at any given time. 460 00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 1: You know, do you have more savings in the bank? 461 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,000 Speaker 1: Are you more financially savvy? Do you have a stronger 462 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 1: professional network that can lift you up and help you 463 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,680 Speaker 1: bounce back in the face of getting fired or laid off. 464 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 1: I'm going to guess that you can answer yes to 465 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,920 Speaker 1: some of those questions, and so you should feel a 466 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,040 Speaker 1: lot more confident and at peace that you got you 467 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,359 Speaker 1: that you actually don't need a second job for security. 468 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:23,040 Speaker 1: What you have, what you need you already have, which 469 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,439 Speaker 1: is the ability to be resilient and come back and 470 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,399 Speaker 1: get new work even if the job you have today 471 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,600 Speaker 1: decides they no longer need your services. You are in 472 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:35,560 Speaker 1: an in demand field, you know, healthcare, hospice care. I 473 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,879 Speaker 1: don't believe in necessarily stable jobs. And even though someone 474 00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 1: fought me on that that nursing is the stable job, well, listen, 475 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,440 Speaker 1: I still stand by what I said. There's no job 476 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,159 Speaker 1: that's stable. Like you said, you can be fired at 477 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 1: a moment's notice. So you really just have to believe 478 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,639 Speaker 1: that the skills that you have will find you and 479 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:56,400 Speaker 1: help you find another opportunity. And damn girl, twenty years 480 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,639 Speaker 1: of experience in that space, and just based on how 481 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 1: they're tring's reading you at that hospice center, it shows 482 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:06,040 Speaker 1: me that you have incredible skills and you are someone 483 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,639 Speaker 1: who is valued and trusted and you could probably be 484 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,280 Speaker 1: doing this on your own. You know, if you wanted to, 485 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 1: you could run your own hospice center if you wanted to. 486 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:16,240 Speaker 1: It sounds like, so just work on that faith in 487 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,480 Speaker 1: yourself and that'll free you up. It'll free you up 488 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,399 Speaker 1: to get rid of the job, the job that is 489 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,639 Speaker 1: dragging you down, so you don't have to work for 490 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,439 Speaker 1: people who don't value you, So you don't have to 491 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,879 Speaker 1: accept that treatment that you know you don't deserve, and 492 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,920 Speaker 1: you can let that job go. Free up more space 493 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,280 Speaker 1: and time and energy. Work full time for a place 494 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 1: and see how that feels to work where you're valued. Like, 495 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:42,640 Speaker 1: how much could you stand to gain by investing even 496 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:46,080 Speaker 1: more time working under someone who seems to really respect 497 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,880 Speaker 1: and value you. Maybe you could learn so much there 498 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 1: that you go and run your own hospice center, or 499 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,280 Speaker 1: they appoint you like assistant director, or they end up 500 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,840 Speaker 1: leaving it they want you to take over. Your path 501 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,480 Speaker 1: could be so much brighter than you're either and letting 502 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,080 Speaker 1: it because you have this like cloud of self doubt, 503 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 1: you know, sort of hanging over you. And because of 504 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,200 Speaker 1: that self doubt, you're hanging on to this job that's 505 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,760 Speaker 1: not serving you, and you're giving them a part of 506 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,600 Speaker 1: the energy and the sparkle that you should be giving 507 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:18,200 Speaker 1: to the job that is valuing the most. Okay, I 508 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,200 Speaker 1: hope that was helpful. I'm so glad that you felt 509 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 1: comfortable being so candid and sharing your question with me. 510 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 1: And I just want to say, like, I feel like 511 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 1: I know you because I talk to women almost every day. 512 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,160 Speaker 1: It's an incredible privilege the work that I get to do. 513 00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 1: And I know this is the core of why so 514 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 1: many of us continue to work where we feel undervalued, underappreciated, 515 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,640 Speaker 1: And it's because we're operating from the space of I 516 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:47,359 Speaker 1: need this and I need to feel secure. You're looking 517 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,720 Speaker 1: for that security and that protection and that stability outside 518 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:54,000 Speaker 1: of yourself. You're looking at it from your employer. I 519 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,320 Speaker 1: just hear this so often as a sense of self 520 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 1: doubt that we are we are looking to external forces 521 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:04,199 Speaker 1: like our company, our managers, you know, other people to 522 00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:07,680 Speaker 1: be our stability and our job security, rather than kind 523 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:11,199 Speaker 1: of looking internally and recognizing what tools do I have 524 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:15,040 Speaker 1: in my toolbox that make me secure that I can 525 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:19,000 Speaker 1: be my own form of job security, that yes, eventually 526 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 1: I will need other people, companies, corporations to employ me 527 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,600 Speaker 1: so that I can, you know, be compensated for my skills, 528 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 1: but that even if one place doesn't want me, I 529 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,280 Speaker 1: know that I have skills that another place will. And 530 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,879 Speaker 1: so when we start to do that work to build 531 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,320 Speaker 1: confidence in our own skill set, and if you don't 532 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:40,159 Speaker 1: feel confident, you know, asking someone like me from the 533 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,600 Speaker 1: outside to look at your experience and help big you up, 534 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 1: like you know, make you show you what a badass 535 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,439 Speaker 1: you are. It can also and maybe it's also a 536 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,639 Speaker 1: point where you're like, I'd feel more confident if I 537 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,080 Speaker 1: had a little bit more of this or a little 538 00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:53,400 Speaker 1: bit more of that. But I can tell you time 539 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,399 Speaker 1: and time again, it's really just about sitting down and 540 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,520 Speaker 1: reminding yourself of who you are, what skills and value 541 00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 1: you bring to the table, and then that starts to become, 542 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:05,040 Speaker 1: like I said, a talisman that helps carry you forward 543 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,920 Speaker 1: more confidently. And then you can start making job choices 544 00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 1: from a place of self confidence and you're not so 545 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:16,360 Speaker 1: beholden to getting that affirmation and the value from other places, 546 00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,680 Speaker 1: because you know deep down you've got you, You've got 547 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,960 Speaker 1: what it takes to bounce back if and when someone 548 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:28,120 Speaker 1: else decides that you know you're dispensable, you're disposable all right, Trinika, 549 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,000 Speaker 1: thank you again for your question. Thank y'all bea fan 550 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:34,320 Speaker 1: for letting me answer y'all's questions again. You can hit 551 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,880 Speaker 1: us up. We are brand Ambition podcast on Instagram, so 552 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,359 Speaker 1: slide into our DM send us a question, type it 553 00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 1: out if you want it read on the show. But hey, 554 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,119 Speaker 1: if you want to potentially be in the audience or sorry, 555 00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:47,240 Speaker 1: in the studio with us, then you can leave a 556 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 1: voice note with your full question and you may be 557 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:53,560 Speaker 1: hearing from our producer. You never know until next time, 558 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:58,880 Speaker 1: ba Fam, I am Mandy Money. I will see y'all later. Bye, Hey, 559 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,120 Speaker 1: ba Fam. We could not do this show without your 560 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:04,040 Speaker 1: support or the support of our team behind the scenes. 561 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,920 Speaker 1: The Brown Emission podcast is produced by Cumulus Podcast Network. 562 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,480 Speaker 1: It's edited by the wonderful Imani Crosby and produced by 563 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:15,600 Speaker 1: Tanya Bustos. Dennis Stimplinsky is our in house tech curu, 564 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,399 Speaker 1: and I am Bandy Woodard Santos, your co host, and 565 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,320 Speaker 1: I will see y'all next week.