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Speaker 1: My wife went on the getaway trip she planned for

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Speaker 1: us with her a fair partner.

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Speaker 2: I mean, does he fit the vibe? More?

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Speaker 1: Does he fit the vibe? Does he fit the Long

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Speaker 1: story short, my wife really cheated on me. She really

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Speaker 1: did it this at this time, she was threatening to

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Speaker 1: do it this time she does. She wants a second chance,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know if this marriage is worth saving.

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Speaker 1: Any and all advice and perspectives are welcome. By the way.

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Speaker 1: This comes from throwaway Way on the relationship advice subreddit.

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Speaker 1: So I caught my wife with another man, and I'm

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Speaker 1: utterly devastated. I'm numb and in shock, So please bear

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Speaker 1: with me if I'm not very coherent as I type this.

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Speaker 1: I'm using a throwaway account because my wife uses this

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Speaker 1: platform quite often. My thirty seven male wife thirty five

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Speaker 1: female and I have been married for eight years. Together

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Speaker 1: for ten we have been through thick and thin. She

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Speaker 1: is my best friend and the love of my life.

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Speaker 1: We don't have any kids. We wanted them, but it

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Speaker 1: wasn't in the cards for us. Today, during my lunch break,

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Speaker 1: I decided to explore a new area to try at

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Speaker 1: a different place. As I strolled along the sidewalk. I

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Speaker 1: saw my wife stepping out of a coffee coffee shop

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Speaker 1: across the street with a man I recognized from her work.

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Speaker 1: They were smiling and chatting, and then the man slipped

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Speaker 1: his arm around her waist and pulled her closer, leaned

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Speaker 1: in and kissed her, and she kissed him back. So

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Speaker 1: close to home, so close to home.

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Speaker 2: He takes a new route and then they're just there.

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Speaker 1: Man oh man, oof oof oof oof what I froze,

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Speaker 1: unable to process what was unfolding before me. In that moment,

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Speaker 1: everything around me faded into a blurb.

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Speaker 2: Oh so sad, sucks.

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Speaker 1: I stood. And also, that's like, so it's not just

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Speaker 1: like they're sneaking around. That was you know, pulled him

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Speaker 1: in for a pulled her in for a kid.

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Speaker 2: That was like a sweet moment.

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Speaker 1: It was that's like they're dating.

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Speaker 2: Got a roll. Like no animal cheating that you're used to.

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Speaker 2: This is this is This is emotional and physical cheating

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Speaker 2: wrapped in touching the small of the back and giving

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Speaker 2: a little dainty kiss after a coffee date. That's cute.

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Speaker 2: I hate that.

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Speaker 1: It's too cute, disgustingly cute.

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Speaker 2: I hate it.

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Speaker 1: In that moment, everything around me faded into a blur.

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Speaker 1: I stood there, rooted to the spot, a storm of

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Speaker 1: emotions brewing inside. Confusion was the first wave to crash

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Speaker 1: over me, followed closely by disbelief. This couldn't be happening,

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Speaker 1: not to us. I wanted to scream, to run across

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Speaker 1: the street and demand an explanation, but my feet felt heavy,

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Speaker 1: as if the weight of the moment had anchored me

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Speaker 1: to the pavement. Opie's in shock as they turned to

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Speaker 1: walk away, still caught up in their own world. I

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Speaker 1: realized they didn't even see me physically or emotionally.

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Speaker 2: I mean, they were just so in love.

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Speaker 1: They're so in love with that in the whole world

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Speaker 1: flurs out A jarring mix of hurt and betrayal pierced

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Speaker 1: through the shock. I can't wrap my mind around what

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Speaker 1: I saw. I love this woman more than life itself.

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Speaker 1: I have given her all of me. I have loved

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Speaker 1: her unconditionally. I'm crushed, gutted. I can't remember how the

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Speaker 1: rest of the day went after that. It was all

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Speaker 1: a blur. I couldn't face going back home to face her,

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Speaker 1: so I told her I needed to stay at a

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Speaker 1: friend's house tonight because he's going through a rough time

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Speaker 1: and could use the support. Oh, she thought he's the

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Speaker 1: friend he's going through the rough time. I am sleeping

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Speaker 1: in my car tonight out. Oh my world is falling

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Speaker 1: apart and I don't know what to do now. Any

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Speaker 1: advice would be appreciated, and there is an update. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I think you gotta go.

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Speaker 2: Get a lawyer divorce consultation. Yeah, as one, but also

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Speaker 2: talk to some friends.

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Speaker 1: I think, yeah, go go find be the friend that

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Speaker 1: needs help and find a friend that will help you.

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Speaker 2: It's either that he doesn't have those friends or he's

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Speaker 2: just going insular and he's like, I just want to

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Speaker 2: figure this out. But I think when you're going through it,

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Speaker 2: telling a couple of people just so they do. Like

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Speaker 2: things are on the air in a radar, you know.

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Speaker 1: And it's just it's just nice to have someone like

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Speaker 1: not be in this little echo chamber of your own thoughts.

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Speaker 2: Like I told Sophia, I was stressed yesterday and she

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Speaker 2: gave me how good morning, and I was just like

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Speaker 2: telling her that I'm a little stressed, makes it so

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Speaker 2: I'm not burdening it alone. And also like hopefully excuses

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Speaker 2: any excuses, any asshole or not excuses any assholary, but

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Speaker 2: informs ass holary, although I don't think I've been in

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Speaker 2: a whole yet. Sinnita Thomas says, dang, that one sucks,

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Speaker 2: and Sophiacount says Opie is a good writer for real.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but there's a little update.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's gonna be sad.

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Speaker 1: Last night was one of the hardest nights of my life.

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Speaker 1: I spent it in the car and needing space to

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Speaker 1: process everything. A hotel wasn't an option for reasons I've

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Speaker 1: explained elsewhere. Knowing my wife's routine that she leaves her

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Speaker 1: work before I do. I returned home in the morning

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Speaker 1: after she had already left to shower and change before

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Speaker 1: heading to work myself where I'm at mentally, I feel

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Speaker 1: deeply hurt and betrayed. All night, I couldn't stop thinking

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Speaker 1: about the life we've built together and how it now

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Speaker 1: feels destroyed. I've been trying to recall any red flags

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Speaker 1: I might have missed. I met a loss because we've

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Speaker 1: always been good at talking through everything. Recently, though, she's

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Speaker 1: been busier at work, which has led to less communication

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Speaker 1: between us. But I didn't see it as a major

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Speaker 1: issue at the time. I wonder if she was actually busy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean she was busy with someone from work

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Speaker 2: to working that thing.

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Speaker 1: A few months ago, she mentioned missing the excitement in

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Speaker 1: our relationship. We talked about it and agreed that this

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Speaker 1: is normal and long term relationships, and we committed to

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Speaker 1: taking steps to bring that spark back. We followed through

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Speaker 1: aside from occasional busy periods. Were you going to say something.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I was just saying, like, I feel like things

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Speaker 2: that can help This is different scenario, but like things

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Speaker 2: that can help with that just going outside of your

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Speaker 2: comfort zone. Yeah, not to say that my dad and

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Speaker 2: I have a romantic relationship, but like you know, I

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Speaker 2: think with any relationship, you can get into the routine

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Speaker 2: and if you want to spice something up, like just

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Speaker 2: do something that you maybe normally wouldn't do, and I

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Speaker 2: think that can create like a bonding memory. But we

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Speaker 2: went lobster nighttime, lobster diving.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think new experiences strength in any relationship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think. So that being said, just because

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Speaker 2: he doesn't go lobster diving with her doesn't mean that

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Speaker 2: she can cheat on him.

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Speaker 1: Exactly exactly, And so this was advice for before she cheated.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but that's that sucks. I mean, I do

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Speaker 2: think try to lean on your friends if you can

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Speaker 2: divorce a consultation to see where it goes. But it

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Speaker 2: also sounds like they're not in like a great economic spot.

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Speaker 1: Yeah either, which is also an issue.

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Speaker 2: Which is like you do want to put more financial pressure. Luckily,

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Speaker 2: divorces maybe a little easier because of because no kids.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, by less complications, but.

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Speaker 2: Less implications, but still the divorce is complicated for the heart, yeah,

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Speaker 2: for the heart. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I take care of myself and I think I'm an

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Speaker 1: interesting person and a good husband.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I know he's questioning it self worth.

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Speaker 1: So I'm left wondering if she sought excitement elsewhere. That's

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Speaker 1: the only explanation I can come up with, and it

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Speaker 1: makes me incredibly angry. Right now, I'm feeling eighty percent

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Speaker 1: hurt and twenty percent anger. But I know the anger

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Speaker 1: will grow, will grow in the coming days and weeks.

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Speaker 1: As for the guy, I only know his name and

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Speaker 1: that he works closely with my wife on a new project,

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Speaker 1: very closely. I assume we'll be part of the upcoming

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Speaker 1: work trip too. She's never mentioned him beyond that, and

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Speaker 1: I have no idea if he's married or in a relationship.

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Speaker 1: Here's what I'm planning to do next. I've already spoken

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Speaker 1: to a few divorce lawyers, and while I live in

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Speaker 1: a fault based location, proving adultery in court can be

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Speaker 1: a long and expensive process.

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Speaker 2: You start getting car shots, Nick Gillie, suit start taking shots.

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Speaker 2: What counts is adultery? Can you can you smooch?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: So smooching? Is it? So?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: If he caught them with the camera smooching, that would

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Speaker 2: be evidence of adultery.

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Speaker 1: According to all the shows that I've seen where they're

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Speaker 1: taking pictures of the adulterers.

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Speaker 2: So you don't need to see the whole thing shebang.

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Speaker 1: Also, we need to be separated before filing for divorce. Tonight,

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Speaker 1: I plan to go home and act like I don't

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Speaker 1: know anything, which will be difficult, so I can gather

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Speaker 1: more information about the extent of her relationship with this guy.

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Speaker 1: When I confront her, I'll reveal one thing I found

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Speaker 1: out and see if she'll admit the rest. I also

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Speaker 1: want to learn more about the colleague. If he has

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Speaker 1: a partner, she deserves to know as well. The challenge

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Speaker 1: here is I'm not sure how to gather more details.

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Speaker 1: Some I've suggested getting a PI. We know our stuff,

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Speaker 1: you know it, but that feels extreme but fun. You

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Speaker 1: wanted to speationship, get a PI.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if the P I could do steakouts and then

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Speaker 2: maybe form a relationship with your own in love with

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Speaker 2: the PI, late nights staking out, sharing food, maybe like

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Speaker 2: some Chinese food.

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Speaker 1: Late night date night with the PI. And that's what

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Speaker 1: the movie's.

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Speaker 2: Called, late night date Night with a PI.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a really long title.

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Speaker 2: The long title late night date night though, or.

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Speaker 1: Late night date Night with the PI.

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Speaker 2: PI.

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Speaker 1: If anyone has experienced with this or other ways to

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Speaker 1: get more information, I'd appreciate your inputs. I'm also not

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Speaker 1: sure how I'll feel once I know everything. I've always

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Speaker 1: said I wouldn't forgive cheating, but I still love my wife.

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Speaker 1: Maybe once I have all the facts, I'll see things

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Speaker 1: differently and be ready to move forward with separation and

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Speaker 1: to force and like, give yourself a second. It's okay.

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Speaker 1: I mean you're not gonna just you.

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Speaker 2: Don't have to do this all right away. I mean

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Speaker 2: like you need a process.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've opened a new bank account and applied for

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Speaker 1: a new credit card. I've updated hr of the account

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Speaker 1: information to ensure my paycheck is deposited into the new

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Speaker 1: account over my passed away body. Will I let her

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Speaker 1: spend any more of my money on him if that's

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Speaker 1: what she's been doing, probably taking him to all these

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Speaker 1: cute little markets and coffee shops, ice skating disgusting. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to use work as an excuse to avoid intimacy

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Speaker 1: with her. Honestly, throwing myself into work and handling these

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Speaker 1: next steps will help keep me from losing my mind.

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Speaker 1: Therapy will come later. For now, it's easier to type

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Speaker 1: this all out than speak about it. Talking about it

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Speaker 1: aloud would make it too real, and I'm not ready

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Speaker 1: for that yet. I also don't want any friends or

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Speaker 1: family to know about this for now. Speaking with lawyers

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Speaker 1: was different because it felt more practical. I will reach

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Speaker 1: out to my doctor to request the STI tests. A

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Speaker 1: few other points to make My wife and I don't

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Speaker 1: have typical jobs. We sometimes work at the office, but

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Speaker 1: we also spend a lot of time meeting clients at

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Speaker 1: various locations, so we spend a lot of time time commuting,

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Speaker 1: which means grabbing coffee slash lunch on the go. We

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Speaker 1: work in a large metropolitan area and we've never cross

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Speaker 1: paths during the day until yesterday, which is probably why

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Speaker 1: she was so comfortable doing it.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's like a place like New York, whereas you know,

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Speaker 2: you can be around the corner, but I have anonymity.

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Speaker 1: Mm. It so happened that yesterday during one of my commutes,

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Speaker 1: I am to be at a location a little further out,

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Speaker 1: which is why I decided to grab lunch in that area.

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Speaker 1: Some people took issue with my writing style. Writing has

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Speaker 1: always been an outlet for me and it helps me

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Speaker 1: process my feelings. I'll leave it at that. Everyone was like,

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Speaker 1: this is written too well.

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Speaker 2: I mean probably, Yeah, it is written very well.

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Speaker 1: My wife and I know each other's right it user names,

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Speaker 1: so I didn't post this on my main account where

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Speaker 1: she could see it. This is a sub she doesn't visit,

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Speaker 1: so it's unlikely she'll come across this, but if she does,

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Speaker 1: then efforts. It is what it is, and there is

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Speaker 1: another update. But man, it seems like, ohp, he's taken

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Speaker 1: the right steps.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, rushing in, Yeah, it feels very collect. He's talking

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Speaker 2: to the lawyers getting information.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Although I would love late night date night with a Pi,

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Speaker 2: I think it's a way for that.

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Speaker 1: You.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think he's doing all of the right things.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if this you can come back from this,

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Speaker 2: but I think once you talk before you actually hire

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Speaker 2: divorce lawyer, I think, do the consultation. Then have the

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Speaker 2: conversation with your wife, yes, because she's also going to

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Speaker 2: be hard to keep that all in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just like holding it all in, keeping that a

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Speaker 1: secret for months, having to like stay at home possibly

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Speaker 1: or like not getting you know, you know what, you're

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Speaker 1: staying in your car. So I think that having the

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Speaker 1: conversation just to see about separation, especially because you said

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Speaker 1: that you need to be separated anyway to be divorced

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Speaker 1: or to get a divorce. So yeah, talk to the consultation.

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Speaker 2: But I want to see what this update says.

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Speaker 1: Update three. Okay, I caught my wife with another man,

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Speaker 1: and I am utterly devastated. I found out everything, and

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Speaker 1: it's worse than I could have imagined worse. Yeah. Last

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Speaker 1: night I checked her phone while she was in the shower.

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Speaker 1: She had left her phone in the bedroom and it

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Speaker 1: was not passcode protected. I always find it kind of

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Speaker 1: interesting when when cheaters.

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Speaker 2: Are so lax with their privacy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I mean maybe they're just so bold that.

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Speaker 1: They're like, ah, they'll never check.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he'll never check, or they're doing it so long.

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Speaker 2: Like I actually feel like a because like if if

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Speaker 2: it's like a new cheater, they're gonna be like I

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Speaker 2: don't want anyone to know. But if it's an old cheater,

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Speaker 2: they've been doing it for decades, isn't found out in

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Speaker 2: ten years, not gonna found out now.

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Speaker 1: But I just think specifically not having a password, because

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Speaker 1: that's so common for every regardless to have a password

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Speaker 1: and to actively not like a pastor.

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Speaker 2: Starter would know the password.

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Speaker 1: You know, well he says, not pass code protected.

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Speaker 2: I know. But like like I think, like, yeah, the

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Speaker 2: difference between having a pass code and not, like your

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Speaker 2: partner usually wouldn't the passcode?

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Speaker 1: True? Everyone knows my pass goode, I'll tell anything.

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Speaker 2: It's true. I'll tell anyone, Tell anyone.

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Speaker 1: Uh. Maybe she thought I wouldn't check. Maybe she got

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Speaker 1: too comfortable lying to my face. Either way, she made

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Speaker 1: a mistake. I went through her phone and found the

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Speaker 1: separate messaging app to communicate with him, and that's been

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Speaker 1: everything unraveled. Their entire relationship was right there. There were

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Speaker 1: thousands of texts and even pictures, some lasting well into

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Speaker 1: the night while I was asleep next to her. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't just a fling. This has been going on for months.

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Speaker 1: I knew that they were so comfortable with each other.

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Speaker 1: That was obviously, yeah, a long time thing. They've been

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Speaker 1: meeting up regularly at coffee shops, hotels, client lunches, quote unquote,

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Speaker 1: she's been calling him pet names.

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Speaker 2: Uh no ah, not the pet names.

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Speaker 1: There was talk of missed moments and wishing for more

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Speaker 1: time together. Oh, this is psycho behavior. This is psychopathic behavior, or.

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Speaker 2: It's what every rom com tells you is normal, which

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Speaker 2: it's crazy. We've we've raised a whole Yeah, yeah, rom

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Speaker 2: com psychopath army.

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Speaker 1: Yeah to think that.

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Speaker 2: I hate watching some rom comms for that reason.

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Speaker 1: Because cheating is so privately. You know, they just get

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Speaker 1: together or you're like, I honestly hate when I'm watching

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Speaker 1: a movie and like the hair, like the hero of

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Speaker 1: the story or the main focus of the story starts

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Speaker 1: cheating and you're just supposed to brush it. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you suck, Like I can't.

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Speaker 2: Root for you anymore. We watch actually actually.

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Speaker 1: Where everyone cheated, and we were so upset and everyone's

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Speaker 1: like I love this. I hate that movie.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I did. I didn't think it was I don't

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Speaker 2: think it was good at all, and maybe AnGR iconic

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Speaker 2: like moment. I didn't even like that moment.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, when they were like when you figure out that

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Speaker 1: love actually.

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Speaker 2: Is well, I was thinking about the one with.

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Speaker 1: The signs Carollers, which is also just like active cheating

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Speaker 1: happening going there.

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Speaker 2: He has to use the signe because their partner is inside, and.

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Speaker 1: Also that's his best friend in there.

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Speaker 2: I forgot how messed up.

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Speaker 1: And then she kisses and she's like, nah, I can't

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Speaker 1: do it.

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Speaker 2: Literally, imagine that Reddit story. Imagine imagine my best friend

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Speaker 2: showed up with cards professing his love for my wife,

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Speaker 2: and then she while I was in the house and

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Speaker 2: had talked to him moments ago.

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Speaker 1: Man, I'd be furious.

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Speaker 2: I'd be pissed.

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Speaker 1: The worst part, she's been telling him things she used

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Speaker 1: to say to me, word for word. Oh wow, she's

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Speaker 1: reusing lies. You make me feel alive, the exact phrase

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Speaker 1: she used when we first started dating. That was our thing.

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Speaker 1: She recycled it for him. I felt physically sick. After

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Speaker 1: years of being together, of building a life that's how

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Speaker 1: she sees it, like everything we built together it meant nothing.

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Speaker 1: I also found out the work trip she's going on

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Speaker 1: next week was not just business, business and pleasure. They

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00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:09,240
Speaker 1: planned everything dinners, hotel rooms, more alone time. She's treating

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00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,920
Speaker 1: this like some kind of romantic getaway with him, while

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Speaker 1: I sit here like a fool. I thought i'd already

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Speaker 1: hit my breaking point. I thought nothing than the betrayal

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Speaker 1: i'd uncovered.

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Speaker 2: Oh, this is so bad already.

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Speaker 1: He keeps getting worse. But then I found out something

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Speaker 1: that knocked the wind right out of me, like a

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Speaker 1: punch straight to the gut. I booked a cabin for

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Speaker 1: us for the weekend two months ago. It was an

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Speaker 1: opportunity for us to reconnect, just the two of us.

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Speaker 1: A day before the trip, she said her company needed

359
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,600
Speaker 1: her to drive to another city for the weekend to

360
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Speaker 1: meet with clients, that it was urgent and she couldn't

361
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Speaker 1: get out of it. She was so apologetic, especially because

362
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Speaker 1: it was twenty four hours out and non refundable. She's evil.

363
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:53,199
Speaker 1: She's evil. She even promised she'd make it up to me.

364
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Speaker 1: I remember telling her it was okay, that I understood.

365
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,480
Speaker 1: I even felt bad for her. Having to miss out

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Speaker 1: on what I thought that would be a special time

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Speaker 1: for us. I didn't take the trip that weekend because

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to go without her, And as annoying

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Speaker 1: as it was, I accepted that the reservation had gone

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Speaker 1: to waste. I found that she had sent the booking

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00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:15,239
Speaker 1: confirmation to him, oh and nearly lost it. Then I

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Speaker 1: saw the photos walking by the lake, sitting by the fireplace,

373
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,879
Speaker 1: wine glasses in hand. The weekend that was supposed to

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Speaker 1: be about us became their little fantasy escape. I can't

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Speaker 1: even describe how that felt. She canceled her trip to

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Speaker 1: take him instead. Why not just like, break up with

377
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Speaker 1: your husband. Why not just divorce your husband if you're

378
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,360
Speaker 1: so in love with this man.

379
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:42,760
Speaker 2: Because it's way less rom commas.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like, well, the it's.

381
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,240
Speaker 2: Forbidden love is better.

382
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Speaker 1: The thing is like she's oh, she's like, oh, you

383
00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:50,440
Speaker 1: make me feel alive because she gets to be this

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Speaker 1: you know, play this risky. Yeah, you know, relationship and stuff.

385
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Speaker 2: Well, her life is so boring that she needs to

386
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Speaker 2: create drama to actually make it interesting.

387
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,320
Speaker 1: Just go just go on trips to man, travel, do

388
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Speaker 1: something else, don't she?

389
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:07,560
Speaker 2: I don't know, like Foster puppies, foster puppies, or children

390
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:08,480
Speaker 2: or children.

391
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Speaker 1: There's so many other things you can spice up your

392
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,000
Speaker 1: life with rather than cheating. I realized then that the

393
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,919
Speaker 1: full extent of her betrayal, and I lost it. I

394
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 1: almost threw her phone across the room, but I didn't

395
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 1: because all the evidence was on there. When she finally

396
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:26,159
Speaker 1: came into the shower, I couldn't pretend anymore, and anyways,

397
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:30,280
Speaker 1: she could tell something was very wrong, so I confronted her.

398
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 1: I asked her if there was something she needed to

399
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,520
Speaker 1: tell me. She said no, but I could see the

400
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:38,160
Speaker 1: panic set in. I pressed harder, told her I knew everything,

401
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:42,880
Speaker 1: the emails, the lunches, the hotel stays, her effing affair.

402
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 1: She started crying and apologizing. I asked her why she

403
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,840
Speaker 1: had done it. She said it was a mistake, that

404
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,960
Speaker 1: she got caught up in the excitement, that she missed

405
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:54,240
Speaker 1: the feeling of something new. I asked if she loved him.

406
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 1: She said no, she loved me and wanted to be

407
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,280
Speaker 1: with me. I asked if she slept with him, and

408
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,280
Speaker 1: she said yes. I told her how much she had

409
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,840
Speaker 1: destroyed me, how she had shattered everything we built. I

410
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,800
Speaker 1: asked her if she ever thought about what this would

411
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,480
Speaker 1: do to me, to us. She just sat there, crying

412
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:16,120
Speaker 1: and apologizing, over and over. I told her I was done,

413
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 1: that there was no coming back from this. She begged

414
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 1: for forgiveness, pausing really quick, just her saying, Oh, this

415
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 1: was a mistake. You can't make a mistake for months

416
00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 1: and claim it's just a mistake.

417
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:34,200
Speaker 2: Yeah. A mistake is like I accidentally filed your.

418
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 1: Taxes, right, yeah, I'm so sorry. That was a mistake, or.

419
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:40,200
Speaker 2: Like, oh, I went downstairs to get you an orange

420
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,720
Speaker 2: and then realized as I walked up the stairs that

421
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 2: I totally forgot about getting you an orange. So I

422
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 2: went back down the stairs to check for oranges and

423
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 2: there were still no oranges.

424
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:49,360
Speaker 1: That's a mistake.

425
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:50,200
Speaker 2: That's a mistake.

426
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:53,440
Speaker 1: That's an ongoing mistake. But it hasn't been rectifying.

427
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 2: This is.

428
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:00,640
Speaker 1: Just awful. This is just awful. It's not a mistake, Yai.

429
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,399
Speaker 1: She I told her to get out to go be

430
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,359
Speaker 1: with him, since she wanted him so badly. She broke down,

431
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 1: insisting she didn't want him, that she wanted me, and

432
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:12,000
Speaker 1: she'd do anything to fix this. By then, it was

433
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 1: almost midnight, so I told her to sleep in the

434
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 1: guest bedroom. She asked for her phone back, but I refused,

435
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,879
Speaker 1: saying I was holding onto it for now. When she

436
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,359
Speaker 1: tried to argue, I warned her, if she took the

437
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 1: phone from me, I'd leave. She didn't want that, so

438
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 1: I kept it. Once I was alone, I forwarded the

439
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:31,120
Speaker 1: entire thread of their messages to myself. I went through

440
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,479
Speaker 1: them in more detail. That's when I found out that

441
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,440
Speaker 1: the guy is married to all right.

442
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 2: Time to tell Time to tell her dad guy.

443
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 1: There was no mention of kids. Though this morning we

444
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:47,560
Speaker 1: barely acknowledge each other. No words were exchanged. I gave

445
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,880
Speaker 1: her the phone back, but I made it clear if

446
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,199
Speaker 1: she goes on her work trip, she'll come back to

447
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 1: an empty house. She promised she wouldn't go. She apologized again,

448
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 1: but I wasn't ready to hear it. After she left

449
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 1: for work, I broke down for the first time since

450
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,119
Speaker 1: this all started. I cried.

451
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 2: That's the first time he cried. I would have been crying. Hell,

452
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 2: I've been.

453
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:14,119
Speaker 1: Crying from the start. Man. There is an edit and

454
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 1: an update.

455
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 2: This is gonna just hurt my soul.

456
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 1: My soul is sad.

457
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 2: Is he doing anything wrong here? Like I feel like

458
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:27,199
Speaker 2: he's just uncovering more and more truth. He's like a

459
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 2: palaeontologist dusting for bones, and the more he dusts, the

460
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 2: more terrible, terrible secrets he uncovers. And he's like he's

461
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:41,639
Speaker 2: uncovering the t Rex of cheating secrets. Right now. This

462
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 2: is a huge discovery.

463
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 1: For himself, discovery of a lifetime.

464
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,440
Speaker 2: This is and but it's like, now the t Rex

465
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 2: is alive and eating him.

466
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is Jurassic this.

467
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 2: Is this is Uh, what's the one where they're in

468
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 2: the museum at night, night of the museum. Yeah, night

469
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:57,960
Speaker 2: of the museum.

470
00:22:58,240 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 1: What's the one where they're in the museum?

471
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 2: And yeah, the night at the museuming this the night

472
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:06,720
Speaker 2: of the Museum, except terrible.

473
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,280
Speaker 1: He never figures it out and they just all attack him.

474
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 1: I carew or he Caru says at this point, he's

475
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,880
Speaker 1: just collecting his evidence for divorce, and Dutchess Sanna says.

476
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 1: It would have been one of those ugly cry scenes

477
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 1: from the movies of me running away if I saw

478
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: my husband kissing someone else. Yeah. Edit, I am coming

479
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,280
Speaker 1: to realize that my marriage is a sham. So this

480
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,919
Speaker 1: will be my last update on this sub that is false. Actually,

481
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: tomorrow I will go to the guy's house. I found

482
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,119
Speaker 1: his address from her Google map's recent history. I have

483
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 1: printed the message thread between them along with the pictures,

484
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 1: and will be giving them to his wife, who is

485
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,119
Speaker 1: unaware of what is going on. As far as I know,

486
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 1: I will also face this man who quite literally destroyed

487
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 1: my life. I am done playing nice and there is

488
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:50,159
Speaker 1: an update.

489
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 2: Oh dude, I can't wait.

490
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 1: Oh my showdown be shown. Yeah.

491
00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 2: Question for you and for chat and for the comments.

492
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 2: Do you think it is your moral duty slash? Do

493
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 2: you think it's a good idea to do this? And

494
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 2: by this I mean to tell the wife, tell the

495
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,400
Speaker 2: wife of the man that's been cheating with your wife?

496
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 1: I think so. And I think also Ope feels it

497
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:20,639
Speaker 1: because he's in this position and doesn't want someone else

498
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 1: to experience it and you know, keep that lie going.

499
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,399
Speaker 1: So I think he probably feels kind of obligated to

500
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,440
Speaker 1: do it because he's been in the dark for so long.

501
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,359
Speaker 2: So I guess questions, like I think on the show before,

502
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 2: we've been like if we've said the ultimatum, like hey

503
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,440
Speaker 2: you tell yeah, you tell them, or I will.

504
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 1: But I think because give this guy a chance or

505
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 1: not because he has because you don't know this guy. Yeah,

506
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 1: so I think that when ultimatum's work in those situations

507
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 1: is when you know the person. Yeah.

508
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think he's doing the right thing. I think.

509
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 2: I'm curious what what all of you think?

510
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 1: I agree, But there is enough to caught my wife

511
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 1: with another man. I told his wife I was sharing

512
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 1: on a marriage but moved over here because clearly my

513
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 1: marriage is a sham. It's like it doesn't even deserve

514
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 1: a place on marriage subreddit, and at this point it

515
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,200
Speaker 1: makes more sense to share here for now. The first

516
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: thing this morning, I went over to his house. She

517
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,120
Speaker 1: was there, but he wasn't. Probably the best case scenario,

518
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 1: I don't have to talk to him.

519
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 2: Yea.

520
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 1: It worked out better this way because it gave me

521
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 1: a chance to talk to her without him there to

522
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 1: deny it. And we can also do a poll for this.

523
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,280
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, poll obligated to say something or not?

524
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, so obligated or nah. When I got there, he

525
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 1: wasn't home, but she was when I told her. At first,

526
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,359
Speaker 1: she didn't believe me. She kept saying I had the

527
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 1: wrong guy. But then I showed her the texts, the photos,

528
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 1: everything You could see the devastation hit her like a

529
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:50,440
Speaker 1: ton of bricks. She was completely blindsided. I apologized, told

530
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:51,920
Speaker 1: her I wish I didn't have to be the one

531
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 1: to tell her, but I thought she had a right

532
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:53,679
Speaker 1: to know.

533
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 2: Must be nice for him to have some solid area.

534
00:25:56,680 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was like, I feel you girl, me. I

535
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 1: know if anyone understands what you're going through, that'd be me.

536
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:06,440
Speaker 2: Want to grab coffee?

537
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,719
Speaker 1: She thanked me, and I gave her my number in

538
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 1: case she wanted to talk, needed anything. Yeah, they've only

539
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: been married for a year. No kids. Oo, move in

540
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 1: when I got When I got home, my wife was

541
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 1: furious with me. Apparently the wife called her husband and

542
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 1: he called mine to tell her what I'd done. My

543
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 1: wife was angry, not about the mess she caused, but

544
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 1: because I'd outed her affair.

545
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,679
Speaker 2: Boohoo, Well maybe you shouldn't have done it.

546
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 1: If you didn't do the affair, then you wouldn't have

547
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 1: been added for him. I couldn't believe it. She was

548
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 1: more worried about her affair partner's reaction than what she

549
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 1: had done to me. And then it got worse. This guy,

550
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 1: this man who destroyed both of our marriages, had the

551
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 1: nerve to come to my house banging on my door

552
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 1: like a lunatic. I opened it, trying to stay calm,

553
00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 1: but I was huming. He started yelling, accusing me of

554
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 1: ruining his marriage. The sheer audacity, You ruined your marriage, girle.

555
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: What is so frustrating.

556
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 2: I feel like the fact that he's banging on the door.

557
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,879
Speaker 2: I feel like he thinks he has the moral high ground.

558
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 1: I think so, which is crazy?

559
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 2: OP has the high ground?

560
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have the high ground. I don't know my power.

561
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 1: I told him to get off my property, that if

562
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: he wanted to blame someone, he should look at himself

563
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 1: and my wife, not me. Go take a look in

564
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 1: a mirror. He was yelling obscenities at me. I didn't

565
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 1: want to get physical with him. I turned to my

566
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,800
Speaker 1: wife and said, you brought this trash into our lives.

567
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 1: Get him off my front porch.

568
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 2: Nice these lines, I.

569
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 1: Know these are classic, and started to go back inside.

570
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 1: She tried to get him to leave, but that's when

571
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:56,360
Speaker 1: things took a turn. He grabbed her arm, shoved her,

572
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: and she fell. At that moment, something snapped inside me.

573
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,479
Speaker 1: I'm not a violent man, but seeing him put his

574
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 1: hands on her in spite of everything is sent me

575
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 1: over the edge. I restrained him, warn him that if

576
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: he ever set foot near my house or touched my

577
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 1: wife again, I'll call the police. He panicked and left.

578
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:18,479
Speaker 1: You know, op, he's slow to anger, but when the

579
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: bear comes out comes out full force.

580
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 2: Wait till you were restrained. Though he just restrained it

581
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:25,440
Speaker 2: did he like he got like a headstock or something.

582
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:30,159
Speaker 1: Talked to my wife again, you don't even want to find.

583
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,120
Speaker 2: Out, dude. I love how the thing that made him

584
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 2: say like my wife and be protective and stuff was just.

585
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 1: And she was like, this is what I wanted along.

586
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:42,719
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't care. He's like, don't talk

587
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 1: to me. Before I went back inside, I turned to

588
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 1: my wife and asked, this is the man you chose

589
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 1: over me. I'll never forgive you for the position you

590
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 1: put me in. She just stood there staring at me

591
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 1: in shock. For the first time since the nightmare started.

592
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: I saw it on her face like it had fine

593
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 1: hit her, the damage, the betrayal, the mess she made.

594
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 1: She collapsed on the ground, sobbing good. I still can't

595
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 1: wrap my head around how she destroyed her lives for

596
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 1: that guy. I asked her to leave the house, but

597
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 1: she refuses. I can't stand being in her presence, so

598
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: I'm considering staying at my close friend's place for a while.

599
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 1: I am meeting him tonight for drink to tell him everything,

600
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: and there is another update. But I think that is

601
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 1: the best course of actions. He's finally getting to talk

602
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 1: to his friends.

603
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, please talk to your I mean she's talking to Reddit,

604
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 2: so he's getting some solid Yeah. I thank in your

605
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 2: life as much as possible. People don't want to do

606
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 2: this alone. Also talk to your that dude's that dude's wife.

607
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 1: Talk to that dude's wife. You guys, have you ever numbered?

608
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 2: Now much in common?

609
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 1: Yeah? Just start talking, Maybe start going to farmer's markets together.

610
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 1: Just started dating, I don't know.

611
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 2: Played each other songs on the piano.

612
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 1: I don't know, Heidi. That's why I don't believe in

613
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 1: telling the other victim. We never know how people will react.

614
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: What if the affair partner or victim of the cheating

615
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:12,239
Speaker 1: tries to hurt the person. That is fair, but I

616
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 1: also think that, like it's pretty awful to just be

617
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: left in the dark about that.

618
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:20,959
Speaker 2: Like, say, a fair partner or victim of cheating tries

619
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 2: to hurt the other person.

620
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 1: Like physically lash out, which is what he did.

621
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 2: M okay.

622
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 1: I think there's always that, always that risk, and maybe

623
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: if you're worried about it, you know, you can call

624
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,200
Speaker 1: someone to make sure that they're not you know.

625
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,959
Speaker 2: And that's why they're saying, Hey, like you don't have

626
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 2: a moral obligation because it could endanger you. Yes, I

627
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 2: see what you're saying.

628
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 1: I think if you're worried about that, then you don't

629
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 1: have to reach out, or you can do it anonymously.

630
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 2: If you're worried about safety, then you don't have to Yeah, Heidi,

631
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 2: that is a great point, and I'm glad you brought

632
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 2: that up.

633
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 1: I think safety, your safety is number on priority.

634
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 2: What's our poll say?

635
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 1: What is our poll? Say obligated or not? We have

636
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 1: twenty eight votes. Ninety three percent of you say obligated

637
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 1: and seven percent say nah.

638
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 2: But Heidi is a great point.

639
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 1: I think that is a great point.

640
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 2: I think if you're I think, if you're worried about safety,

641
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 2: I think, all right, here we go every all of this,

642
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 2: Like moral obligation is predicated on the fact that you

643
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 2: believe your safety to be given.

644
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 1: I agree, I agree, Yeah, absolutely, it's so you know only,

645
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: I mean, anything you do should.

646
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 2: But if you're worried about safety then maybe don't.

647
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there is enough state