WEBVTT - Advice Letters 9 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:05.960 Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you may be. 0:00:06.680 --> 0:00:09.799 Guess what you are tuned into the Vitamin D podcast 0:00:09.880 --> 0:00:14.080 and what well, I'm your host, Dawn Day, here to 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:16.759 get you excited about your life so that you can 0:00:16.800 --> 0:00:21.080 live life on purpose and for a purpose. You're worady, 0:00:21.200 --> 0:00:25.079 now listen, if you're new, I want to say welcome, Come, come, come, 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:28.040 Heather Vitamin D. It's a point of my name, right. 0:00:28.400 --> 0:00:30.440 You know you get Vitamin D from the sun. Well, 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:32.440 Dawn means the sun, and so I'm here to shed 0:00:32.520 --> 0:00:35.160 light into your life. And I want to be clear, 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:38.519 Vitamin D I like to consider a multi vitamin for 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:40.960 your mind. And in this whole process of where we 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:44.000 shed light, that's shutting light on the good and the bead. 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:47.480 So basically we gotta keep it real because you can't 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:50.559 fear what you see, because what is fear? False evidence 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:52.879 appearing real? And if you want to be better and 0:00:52.920 --> 0:00:54.920 if you want to do better, you got to see 0:00:55.000 --> 0:00:58.680 better and what better way to see than what the 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:02.720 lights on? So are you ready? This does require for 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:04.800 you to look at yourself and to be out of 0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:07.760 next with yourself. You don't what it really requires is 0:01:07.800 --> 0:01:11.120 for you to communicate with yourself. I say the communication 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:14.559 is the key point because it's almost that whole idea 0:01:14.560 --> 0:01:16.560 of where I talk about how you are your greatest 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:19.200 asset is where you know where you stand. You do 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:22.080 a check in and if you have no idea what 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:25.319 I mean by uh, the Life Bank account and you 0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:28.200 being your greatest asset, well, think about any account that 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:31.120 you may have right, so you have like say, for example, 0:01:31.200 --> 0:01:33.640 your checkings or your savings right and what you have 0:01:33.720 --> 0:01:36.759 on account or your assets. Well, if you have your 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:39.760 Life Bank account and you are your greatest asset, it's 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:43.360 all about balancing this account because they're going to be 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:45.760 deposits and they're going to be withdrawals, and there are 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:47.520 things that are going to ask your life. There are 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:50.480 things going to be a liability and listen because life 0:01:50.560 --> 0:01:54.200 and how it moves, that's the way it goes. But 0:01:54.280 --> 0:01:57.240 the key is to keep the balance. You check in 0:01:57.280 --> 0:02:02.080 with me. So along with in the light on this podcast, 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:07.480 I have UM I share inspirational insights with music lyrics 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:11.000 and also with celebrities and everyday people like you and me, 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:14.679 just a mode of how to live life better, how 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:17.320 to be better. And I also do something where I 0:02:17.400 --> 0:02:19.519 like to splash and as I do something where I 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:22.799 talk about advice letters where I welcome listeners who um 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:28.240 want advice on love, relationships, career, um success, just anything 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:32.480 to email me at Vitamin D at dawn day Speaks 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:36.799 dot com. You got that Vitamin D at Dawn day 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:39.640 Speaks dot com. And then ever so often you know, 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:42.519 I crock open the Vitamin D email bag and I 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:45.720 don't read the letters. Now, this is strictly my opinion, 0:02:46.000 --> 0:02:48.400 and like I told you with Vitamin Day, it's all 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:51.080 about shedding light on the good and the bad. So 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:53.240 that means I'm gonna keep it real with you. You 0:02:53.320 --> 0:02:56.000 may not like it, but understand it's only so you 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:58.640 can be better and do better from my point of view. 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:01.400 And if you're writing in and I can only gettum 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:04.080 that you want to know what I think. At the 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:08.040 end of the day, remember this podcast is all about 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:11.480 you living your life on purpose and for a purpose, 0:03:12.160 --> 0:03:15.400 because you know we're gonna die, right, I'm just saying 0:03:16.760 --> 0:03:19.160 I don't know about you, but I'm not trying to 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:22.480 waste any time. You know, time is like your most 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:27.240 valuable corn. Once it's spent, you can't get it back. 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:33.480 It's gone forever. Be mindful with your time, mainly with 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:39.040 yourself and then with others. Oh gay, So on this episode, 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:44.880 I'm diving into my vitamin D email bag. Um, I'm 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:47.000 just excited to see what you'll got to say. So, 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:50.880 without further ado, it's time for your dose or should 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:56.600 I say doses a vitamin damin D right with me 0:03:57.040 --> 0:04:03.080 and get excited about your All right, let's get to 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:09.280 this first letter subject, is she cheating? Dear Dawn, I'm 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:12.000 worried my wife is cheating on me, or at least 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:14.480 about to. So it was a bit of a back story. 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:17.400 We're both twenty seven and we've been married for eight years. 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:20.640 It's had its ups and downs, but lately it has 0:04:20.680 --> 0:04:24.400 been more down than anything. My wife suffers from depression 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:27.560 and anxiety. I'm in the military, so she has had 0:04:27.600 --> 0:04:30.960 to leave her hometown for quite some time. She visits 0:04:31.000 --> 0:04:34.760 as often as she can, usually once a year at least. Um, 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:37.880 lately things have been hard. She feels like she doesn't 0:04:37.880 --> 0:04:40.400 have a support system, no friends in the area we 0:04:40.440 --> 0:04:42.760 are living in, and I have been going a lot 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:45.240 due to work. I try to be there as much 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:47.960 as I can via phone calls, and text, but it 0:04:48.000 --> 0:04:50.960 doesn't seem to be enough, so we decided on a 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:53.840 plan she would move back home for six months to 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:56.920 be around her support system. We never said taking a 0:04:56.920 --> 0:05:00.599 break or anything. This was for her mental health. WHOA. 0:05:01.279 --> 0:05:03.680 At the beginning of this, she took a vacation to 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:07.200 San Diego, where we had lived previously. She loves the 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:10.200 area and we had a mutual friend there. A couple 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:13.840 of days after getting there, she started ghosting me. I 0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:16.280 figured she was busy, so I waited to hear from her. 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:20.320 Three days go by and not even a text. So 0:05:20.360 --> 0:05:23.360 I call him and she's with our mutual friend, a man. 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:27.640 I'll call Thomas and says she's busy and has to go. 0:05:28.440 --> 0:05:32.159 We spoke for barely two minutes now about this friend. 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:35.119 Thomas and I were great friends while we were living there, 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:38.479 but ever since we left, he doesn't respond to my texts. 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:41.400 But a week before my wife's trip back home, they 0:05:41.520 --> 0:05:46.720 begin talking a lot every day. Nothing intimate or anything, 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:49.680 but I know what men are like. Now I'm seeing 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:54.159 on his Instagram story that all of a sudden, he's 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:56.919 booked a private dinner cruise and my wife still isn't 0:05:57.000 --> 0:06:00.920 answering my calls. I've always believed in the adage, where 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:05.159 they're smoked, they're as fire. So I'm freaking out. What 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:09.560 should I do? Sir? The first thing you need to 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:14.280 do is be real with yourself. Don't play yourself. You 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:17.120 gotta really trust your intuition. You know what this is. 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:20.520 You know, if you're not getting what you want at home, 0:06:21.360 --> 0:06:25.040 or if you're not getting what you want, oftentimes people 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:29.359 look elsewhere. You know, your wife communicated with you that 0:06:29.480 --> 0:06:32.240 she was unhappy, and I see how you did a 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:35.920 happy compromise of what you were saying, Hey, well, let's 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:38.279 make it so that you're able to go home and 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:44.159 be around your support system. Where's the thing. It sounds 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:46.880 like she was still saying that she needed more of you. 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:49.800 You are her partner, you are her made Now. Do 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:52.400 understand that you're working in the military and your job 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:56.160 is very demanding. But where your attention goals, that's where 0:06:56.160 --> 0:07:01.080 things grow. And so your wife has to clear I'm 0:07:01.120 --> 0:07:05.239 not happy here. You know, she doesn't feel like she's 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:08.200 growing in that area. So she you say, hey, she 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:10.080 went ahead and took a trip back to an area 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:15.760 where she loved San Diego, where she felt good and 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:19.400 there was a friend. And this friend you say, let's 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:24.360 call him Thomas, hasn't communicated with you at all. Now 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:29.000 your wife, your own wife, who you've been married to 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:32.440 for eight years, not one or two, not three I 0:07:32.480 --> 0:07:36.160 said age, And regardless of the time, your wife isn't 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:42.080 responding to your calls. Three days and you haven't heard 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:45.680 from your life partner, somebody that you made a commitment to, 0:07:45.760 --> 0:07:47.920 somebody that you said that you love so much that 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:51.080 I want to spend the rest of my life with 0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:55.320 somebody that you communicated and you are on this wavelength 0:07:55.400 --> 0:08:00.800 of love with has not communicating with you. You know, 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:03.440 as I talk about relationships and I talk about relationships 0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:06.240 with self, see how you are communicating with yourself and 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:08.920 honest with yourself is how you would treat your relationship 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:12.360 with your partner. How you do anything is how you'll 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:14.640 do everything. And I can tell even about what you're 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:18.480 saying of having to do the person who you've dedicating 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:21.160 your entire life too to say, hey I gotta text 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:23.360 you and I can't spend time with you, Well, what 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:26.840 does that say about the relationship? So when you say, hey, 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:29.720 what should I do? Well, One, you need to communicate 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:32.040 with your wife, and to be honest with yourself about 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:35.120 what the possibility of something that is going on. Now, 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:37.880 the question is when you find out what it seems 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:39.640 the obvious and I don't want to put that on there, 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:43.160 but I'm just saying, all of a sudden, they're communicating. 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:46.040 All of a sudden, this single man is now having 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:50.319 a romantic dinner and coincidentally enough, your wife is out 0:08:50.360 --> 0:08:55.520 there and she's not responding to you. It's interesting how 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:58.760 this entire time, how you know she's talking about how 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:02.400 she's unhappy in the relationship, whether that be where she 0:09:02.520 --> 0:09:06.800 is located, and also not filling the support. She's getting 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:10.040 it from someone else, someone else that does have the time, 0:09:10.679 --> 0:09:13.320 someone else that is paying attention. Now doesn't mean that 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:15.640 you don't love her, No, I'm not saying that you 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:17.839 don't love her. But what I'm saying is that you're 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:21.440 not giving her what she needs. And if you're not 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:23.840 giving her what she needs, do you see how the 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:29.120 communication has broken? Do you see what's happening? There's a disconnect? 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:31.720 But again, what do you do when you find out? 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:35.040 That's the real question, because this is what we're going 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:37.000 to require you to take some time and to really 0:09:37.040 --> 0:09:39.720 see eye to eye and if this is are you 0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:41.880 and your partner growing on the same level. And that's 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:44.120 the whole thing that I was saying about, making sure 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:46.480 you communicate with yourself and really do a check in 0:09:46.559 --> 0:09:48.880 to see what it is that you really want. Do 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:52.040 you want this career? Do you want your wife now? 0:09:52.120 --> 0:09:53.880 Because of your wife, and I want to use this 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:59.080 term loosely, her illnesses um dealing with depression and dealing 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:02.880 with anxiety that requires a different level of attention that 0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:07.040 she needs. She needs that and you can't give her that. 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:10.160 So what happens or do you false her for going 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:15.320 outside or going elsewhere? Because at what point did the 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:18.480 communication break down that you can go more than one 0:10:18.600 --> 0:10:21.840 day without speaking to your wife. Does it just happen 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:24.560 overnight on just this one trip. You know you probably 0:10:24.559 --> 0:10:26.880 would have sent out the search more or something like that. 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:30.040 So something leads me to say that perhaps this is 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:32.600 not the first time that she's gone without answering your calls. 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:36.360 Because if you are used to talking to somebody very frequently, 0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:39.040 like you said, you've been making sure you text and call. 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:43.600 She hasn't responded in three days seventy two hours, and 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:45.640 you didn't make sure that you did a wellness check. 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:49.680 What's that about? Now? Is this the whole situation that 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:53.160 you may be in denial? Because again she said what 0:10:53.320 --> 0:10:56.920 she needs. You basically said, hey, I'm gonna do my 0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:58.880 best of what I can give you. But clearly that 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:01.760 isn't enough because she's flourishing in the area and around 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:04.800 people that can give her attention. So now you have 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:07.760 to ask yourself, how do you want to move forward? 0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:10.839 What should you do? You need to communicate with your 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:14.760 wife because clearly it's evident seventy two hours and she 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:17.840 hasn't replied or hasn't called you back, there's a breakdown 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:21.360 and communication. That's the first thing you need to do 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:24.800 is talk to your wife. And you guys need to 0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:27.160 do a check in on where you all right now 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:29.360 because who you married it years ago may not be 0:11:29.400 --> 0:11:31.720 the same person she is to Chang. Doesn't mean that 0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:33.240 she never loved you. No, I'm not saying that. It 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:35.319 doesn't mean she never loved you or she still doesn't 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:40.600 love you. But people change, just like the seasons, and 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:42.839 you have to remain or to think like, are you 0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:49.280 that constant what happened? So I would recommend you definitely UM, 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:52.760 talk to your wife. I would say, brace yourself because 0:11:52.800 --> 0:11:55.480 it seems as though where the smoke is that there 0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:59.760 is fire and that she is probably um parlaying and 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:02.080 say in diego on some type of beach, you know, 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:06.880 just parlaying. But yeah, you know, it's never easy. But 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:11.040 I think love conquers all. And what it sounds like 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:14.760 if she needs some attention and another thing, you might 0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:17.280 not let your wife go nowhere with no grown man 0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:24.560 another man. That's not true. UM, So give me a 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:26.920 follow up on what happens. And once you find out, 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:29.839 I mainly want to know what you are going to 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:34.000 do from here. Are you going to communicate because based 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:36.720 on what I'm reading, that's some area that you could 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:40.480 do more work in. Okay, all right, let's go on 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:47.040 to the next letter subject. Am I being undervalued? Dear Dawn. 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:50.200 I don't feel respected in my place of work. I'm 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:52.840 twenty eight and just trying to climb the corporate ladder 0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:54.880 to a CE suite gig that I can just jump 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:58.240 start a path towards wealth. I've been at this company 0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:00.839 for the last five years and have seen barely any 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:04.640 job growth in my field. It's not uncommonacy promotions to 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:07.520 middle management, and that time I was worried that I 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:09.920 wasn't putting in my best, you know, like the guys 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:12.480 at the top saw me as somebody to keep around. 0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:15.840 But after a recent project proposal of mind turned out 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:18.120 to be a huge success and I was getting praised 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:21.360 from my supervisors, I knew that at least they valued 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:24.520 my ideas. When I started to ask around about what 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:27.199 people were getting paid, I made friends with someone in 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:30.880 HR early, which has paid off many times. I came 0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:33.560 to the conclusion that the company has been low balling 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:36.200 me when it comes to raises the last few years. 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:39.760 To add insult to injury, someone who had gotten hired 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:42.679 after me was promoted to a supervisor position before me. 0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:45.360 I don't mean to disparage my colleague, but I know 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:47.600 for a fact that I've contributed more to the team 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:50.800 than them, and I have shown up. This knowledge is 0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:53.320 starting to take a tone on my health. I can't sleep, 0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:56.800 I can't work effectively knowing that these people don't value me. Dawn, 0:13:57.360 --> 0:13:59.360 Should I just go in and ask for a raise? 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:01.840 Could I even find a new job in this market? 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:07.760 Thank you for writing in. I think anyone that has 0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:12.800 been in the workforce has definitely felt what you have 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:16.880 your writing in about. And you will hear me say 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:22.040 time and time again, you have to teach people how 0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:25.320 to treat you. You have to get off the sales 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:29.000 rack and get behind the glass where the valuables are. 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:33.960 So my question is to you, what's your worth? How 0:14:34.040 --> 0:14:37.120 much do you value yourself? Now? The reason why I'm 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:39.800 asking you that is that it sounds like you're somebody 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:41.960 who's ambitious. In fact, you said the reason why you 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:44.240 were going after this job and trying to cryme the 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:47.120 corporate ladder is because you want to work towards a 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:51.600 path to success, to wealth. So what you deem as 0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:55.400 happiness to get to your level of points, well, when 0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:59.280 we talk about success, you know, it's it's this constant movement, 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:02.560 it's this journ. Well, for the past or five years, 0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:07.920 you have been stuck or in the same position. Now 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:10.240 it's starting to take a tone in your health. Is 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:12.640 it because you've just found out that other people are 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:15.480 making more money or is the fact that you aren't growing? 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:18.720 Which one is it? Because if you're gonna consistently look 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:21.080 at your neighbor's yard, well heck, it's always gonna look 0:15:21.080 --> 0:15:23.480 greener over there. But again the question is is how 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:27.360 much do you value yourself? How long do you sit 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:30.920 there in that position? Now? You said on should I 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:33.400 just go in there and ask for a raise? Do 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:37.200 you deserve the raise? How much do you better yourself? 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:40.200 If you know that you've been doing a great job, 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:43.680 why wouldn't you ask for it? If you can't see 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:47.000 the worth in yourself, how and why would you expect 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:50.920 somebody else to. You have to know what you're bringing 0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:54.680 to the table. If you don't stand for yourself, you 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:58.120 will fall for anything. And look at yourself. You've been 0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:00.600 in the same situation for five It's not it's not 0:16:00.640 --> 0:16:02.200 about whether or not you can do the work. You 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:05.960 just said that you just did this bomb project, but 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:12.680 yet there hasn't been a change in your salary, you 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:17.240 having received any type of promotion. So then I have 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:19.800 to ask you what do you want? You're asking me 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:21.880 what you should do. I have to ask you what 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:24.640 you want because I'm getting a little confused right now, 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:27.640 Like you're saying, I want to be successful. I want 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:31.160 to build my path towards success and wealth. Yet you 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:32.520 don't know if you should go in there and ask 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:37.520 for raids? Close miles. Don't get fed. You're trying to eat. 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:42.200 Open your mouth. You gotta say something for somebody to 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:45.120 give you something to chew. If i'm your your company, 0:16:45.200 --> 0:16:48.160 your business, why would I just volunteerly give you more 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:53.280 money if you're not asking for it. M hmm. You 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:55.600 can't expect somebody to see your value in your worth. 0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:58.160 You have to dictate that. That's what I said. Get 0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:00.800 off the clearance rack and get behind glass where the 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:03.800 valuables are. You need to go in there and show 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:05.919 your numbers. You need to go in there and let 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:09.280 them know how much you value yourself. You're gonna have 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:12.040 to bet on yourself. Are you as good as you 0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:14.880 claim to? Because you know when people are successful, when 0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:20.800 people are well, they're ambitious. It's about growth, it's about movement. Well, listen, 0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:24.439 you've been stuck not one, not to nothing. You're not 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:28.000 for but five years. And you hear me say this also, 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:31.600 often how you do anything is how you'll do everything. 0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:36.560 You're asking for a microphone, But you have nothing to 0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:41.320 say when you talk about having um a C suite 0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:46.800 level position, that's a leader, that's somebody that can take charge. 0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:51.600 That's somebody that can dictate orders. That's somebody that exudes confidence, 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:54.920 and right now I see that there's not that same 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:58.760 confidence you have in yourself because when you know your worth, 0:17:58.840 --> 0:18:01.720 you know what you're asking for because you know what's 0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:05.879 at stake. But guess what, we all start from somewhere. 0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:08.640 The fact that you're writing in, the fact that you're asking, 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:12.400 that means the conversation is happening. And the previous letter 0:18:12.440 --> 0:18:14.480 I had to say, Hey, what happened to the check in? 0:18:14.520 --> 0:18:16.760 What's what you're doing the check in? So we're not 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:18.679 gonna beat up on that area, but we are going 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:20.119 to cut on the light of what it is that 0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:22.840 we see because now it's time. What are you gonna 0:18:22.880 --> 0:18:25.120 do from here? It's not too late because you're still 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:27.320 employed by the company. It's not too late because you're 0:18:27.320 --> 0:18:30.920 still progressing, you're still moving forward. Now the only question 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:32.600 is going to be are you're going to have to pivot? 0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:34.920 Because if they are not willing to give you what 0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:36.879 you want, are you willing to go out there and 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:39.159 take a chance on yourself? How much do you believe 0:18:39.160 --> 0:18:42.280 in yourself? What do you think the value of yourself? Is? 0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:45.480 Only you can answer that. I can't tell you that. 0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:47.760 But what I can charge you to think about within 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:51.679 yourself is that how much do you value yourself? What 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:57.960 do you think you're worth? Is so you just thought that, Uh, 0:18:58.000 --> 0:19:00.800 the person that got hired after you just sat there. Wait, 0:19:00.840 --> 0:19:03.480 did it sound like they were ambitious and they went 0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:05.800 up to the table so they can get fat. And 0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:08.879 it's not so much as throwing someone else under the table. 0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:11.159 It's all about you scooping up to the table so 0:19:11.240 --> 0:19:14.159 that you can eat. People just asking for you to 0:19:14.200 --> 0:19:17.320 show up, for you to sit in your throne. And 0:19:17.359 --> 0:19:20.920 that's what we talk about authority and dominion over your life. 0:19:21.920 --> 0:19:24.080 Because then you asked the next thing, you said, could 0:19:24.119 --> 0:19:27.080 I even find a new job in this market? What 0:19:27.119 --> 0:19:30.080 do you want? You have to have that belief in 0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:33.880 yourself when you want to be successful, when you want 0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:37.959 to make it, when you want to grow. Even when 0:19:38.000 --> 0:19:41.199 you look at a plant right outside of the garden 0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:43.560 and the grass, when you look at a tree, they 0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:49.160 rise up to the light, they stretch, they grow, what 0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:54.080 do you want? Do you believe in yourself? Sometimes you're 0:19:54.080 --> 0:19:56.080 gonna have to take a chance, because let me ask 0:19:56.080 --> 0:20:00.560 you this. If you go out to them and he say, 0:20:01.200 --> 0:20:04.160 we don't have the funds. Right now we can't pay you. 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:08.280 Are you willing to walk away? Are you willing to 0:20:08.320 --> 0:20:10.640 walk in your truth? And right now your truth says 0:20:10.720 --> 0:20:13.679 that you aren't being paid your worth? So are you 0:20:13.680 --> 0:20:16.560 gonna dictate it? Or are you gonna sit another five 0:20:16.680 --> 0:20:19.200 and fifteen twenty years in the same position you are 0:20:19.280 --> 0:20:23.159 right now being low palt because you're allowing them to 0:20:23.160 --> 0:20:26.119 dictate you. You know, when I was eighth grade, I 0:20:26.160 --> 0:20:29.160 shout out to Ms. Karma rest in peace. I learned 0:20:29.160 --> 0:20:34.439 this quote, I make myself what I am. Do you 0:20:34.520 --> 0:20:38.320 understand that what that means and what that says? You 0:20:38.480 --> 0:20:41.479 have the ability to create the life that you want. 0:20:42.760 --> 0:20:47.439 It's in your hands. You can speak it over your life. 0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:50.560 And I guess I'm so passionate about you like doing. 0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:52.720 All I did was just asking about what should I 0:20:52.720 --> 0:20:55.119 do with this job? But remember how you do anything 0:20:55.240 --> 0:20:56.960 is how you'll do everything. And the fact that we're 0:20:56.960 --> 0:21:00.440 talking about your value, We're talking about your value and 0:21:00.480 --> 0:21:03.400 your worth. How many years you spent on the job, 0:21:03.720 --> 0:21:07.119 you'res curating it, years making it and cultivating your own 0:21:07.640 --> 0:21:10.119 years of learning how to talk to people, years of 0:21:10.200 --> 0:21:14.800 learning how to be consistent, years of knowing the language, 0:21:14.800 --> 0:21:19.600 the fabric, the threatening, the material, the essence of this company. 0:21:20.119 --> 0:21:23.359 So what you're gonna do? Boom, You're gonna do what 0:21:23.400 --> 0:21:26.880 you need to do or not? So you said, Dawn, 0:21:27.400 --> 0:21:30.400 should I just go and ask for a race? Hey? Can? Yeah? 0:21:30.440 --> 0:21:32.160 You need to go in here and ask for the raising, 0:21:32.200 --> 0:21:35.520 get your money? Are you trying to be about that 0:21:35.560 --> 0:21:40.000 life or at all? Going there and dictate your worth? 0:21:40.760 --> 0:21:43.400 And you have to believe so much in yourself that 0:21:43.480 --> 0:21:46.919 if they say they can't do it, you're gonna have 0:21:46.960 --> 0:21:50.440 to just do a pivot and go somewhere else. Because 0:21:50.440 --> 0:21:53.360 the right job for you and the right moment for you, 0:21:53.920 --> 0:21:58.359 it's gonna fit and it's gonna be right. That's how 0:21:58.520 --> 0:22:04.320 you'll know. Okay, baby, gonta get your money? Hey, all right, 0:22:04.359 --> 0:22:08.280 let's go on to the next letter subject help me 0:22:08.359 --> 0:22:12.040 make my life interesting and Dear Dawn, I have a 0:22:12.080 --> 0:22:15.000 twenty four year old woman living in Fresno, and I 0:22:15.040 --> 0:22:19.000 am slowly finding out I am the most boring person alive. 0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:21.359 All I do for fun is watch TV and go 0:22:21.400 --> 0:22:24.520 out with my friends. Nothing else is interesting to me, 0:22:24.680 --> 0:22:27.960 not my books and my favorite games, not any new movies, 0:22:28.119 --> 0:22:31.000