WEBVTT - Why Not Me? 0:00:01.760 --> 0:00:05.280 Welcome to Time Out. I'm Eve Rodsky, author of the 0:00:05.280 --> 0:00:08.920 New York Times bestseller fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space, 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:13.440 activists on the gender division of labor, attorney and family mediator. 0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:16.840 And I'm Doctor add In the Rukar, a physician and 0:00:16.920 --> 0:00:21.160 medical correspondent with an expertise in the science of stress, resilience, 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:24.400 mental health, and burnout. We're here to peel back to 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:27.639 layers around why it's so easy for society to guard 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:31.040 men's time as if it's diamonds, and to treat women's 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:34.440 time as if it's infinite like sands. And whether you 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:37.280 are partnered with or without children, or in a career 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:40.000 where you want more boundaries, this is the place for 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:44.080 you for all family structures. We're here to take a 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:49.640 time out to learn, get inspired, and most importantly, reclaim 0:00:49.840 --> 0:01:00.880 our time. Hi d hi E. I get to be 0:01:00.920 --> 0:01:03.000 on your time zone today as we're recording, so it 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:04.840 just feels fun to be in the same time zone. 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:09.479 I love it. You feel even closer than you usually feel. Well. 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:13.400 I wanted to tell you a little bit about my 0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:19.880 journey to understanding goals, because goals, I think you know, 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:22.839 sometimes we just set them out for ourselves, maybe based 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:25.680 on other people's expectations. And I don't know if I 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:28.320 always really thought about why I set goals, or if 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:31.080 I even knew what those goals are. I definitely didn't 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:34.200 have a vision board in my third grade bedroom. I 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:37.840 had like teen Bop posters up there. But what's interesting 0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:42.520 about Find Your Unicorn Space was that in so many 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:46.560 of my interviews with creative people, the word goals came up, 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:49.440 and so I felt like it would be a disservice 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:52.440 not to address them in a chapter in the book. 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:57.080 Goal setting became very important to people living a creative life. 0:01:57.160 --> 0:01:59.280 That's I think the difference between unicorn space and a 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:03.960 hobby not only the infrequency that a hobby connotes, but 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:07.880 a unicorn space has goals and a lot of people 0:02:08.320 --> 0:02:10.600 level up. As my son said to me when I 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:12.440 was talking to him about goal setting, he said, yeah, 0:02:12.520 --> 0:02:16.360 dumb mom, because whether it's life or video games, no 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:23.400 one wants to die on level one. So if we 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:25.160 don't want to die on level one, I think we 0:02:25.200 --> 0:02:26.720 do have to set some goals. But how do we 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:29.120 know they're the right goals? And so I wrote that 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:31.840 down in a moleskin. How do I know that this 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:34.560 is the right goal for me, or how does somebody 0:02:34.639 --> 0:02:37.480 know it's the right goal? And I started to ask questions, 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:41.640 and two things came up that felt totally contradictory to me. 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:45.399 But you'll probably tell me from a brain science perspective 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:48.000 why they're actually complimentary and not contradictory. But in the 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:52.720 beginning it felt contradictory, which was so many people half 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:55.480 said to me that they followed some version of a big, hairy, 0:02:55.520 --> 0:03:00.720 audacious goal. I want to put people on the moon. 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:06.120 That's why it's often called a moon shot, even though 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:08.520 I really hate I don't really like that word. It 0:03:08.720 --> 0:03:10.920 sounds I don't know, it sounds porn like porn to 0:03:10.960 --> 0:03:15.440 me or something. And then often i'd also hear the opposite, 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:18.200 which is, well, the way I got to where I 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:22.839 am is I took extremely small steps. And so how 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:26.160 did I reconcile those two? Well, then I realized, okay, 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:29.720 what was happening. It seemed was that there were people 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:36.560 who had big, hairy, audacious goals that came from Jim Collins. 0:03:36.600 --> 0:03:39.520 That's his sort of framework. I'd like to add in another, 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:43.640 a big hairy, audacious, authentic goals, And so they would 0:03:43.680 --> 0:03:47.800 have these big goals, like Sandy Zimmerman. She said, I 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:51.880 want to be on American Ninja Warrior. I'm a pe 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:55.040 teacher in the Midwest. I have no experience with parkour. 0:03:55.760 --> 0:03:57.640 I know I'm physically fit, but I want to be 0:03:57.760 --> 0:03:59.680 on that show. I see people on that show, I 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:01.920 want to to what they're doing. So that's a big, hairy, 0:04:01.920 --> 0:04:04.680 audacious goal. And then at the same time, I would 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:08.280 hear well to get there, I also had to just 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:11.360 swing on the salmon ladder for seven weeks in a row. 0:04:11.360 --> 0:04:14.320 I couldn't even move my arms up to the next wrong. 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:24.719 I just swung there until I got the courage to 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:28.760 move up to the next wrong. And so I think 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:34.600 what I finally realized was that you can have a big, hairy, audacious, 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:37.960 authentic goal, and a lot of people actually were doing 0:04:38.000 --> 0:04:41.000 it in the present tense, which I found interesting. So 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:43.520 instead of saying I want to be on American Ninja Warrior, 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:47.560 my interviewees were saying things to me like I am 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:52.120 cast for American Ninja Warrior, or I'm going on American 0:04:52.200 --> 0:04:54.440 Ninja Warrior. They started to say their goals in the 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:58.279 present tense, which I found really interesting to me. And 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:02.120 also concur it with some books out there, like Professor 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:05.240 Benjamin Hardy, who talks about your future self. And then 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:08.360 I would also hear my next step on my journey 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:13.119 is the smallest, teenious thing, like buying a better pair 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:18.600 of sneakers. But I also knew from goal setting that 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:23.279 small steps matter. I had read many different frameworks for 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:26.320 goal setting. One of my favorite was the smart goal framework, 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:30.680 which is that goals have to be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:34.560 and time based. And so how do you reconcile or 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:36.360 do you think one is more important than the other, 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:40.440 or do you think you need big, hairy, audacious, authentic 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:45.560 goals and the understanding that the very very small steps 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:48.040 of goal setting also need to be there as well. 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:52.159 It's interesting because we need both. And you can think 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:56.000 of that big, hairy, audacious, authentic goal like your north star, 0:05:57.240 --> 0:06:00.320 what's going to guide you forward? What's that in tension 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:04.600 that you're setting for yourself. It's incredibly value based. And 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:09.200 that's why that second A for authentic right. It's your driver, 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:12.240 it's what gets you up in the morning, it's your why. 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:15.320 And when we have that north star to guide us, 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:19.160 it gives our life meaning and purpose and helps us 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:24.520 through the drudgery. The drudgery is part two, which is 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:28.880 the small step goals. They're not sexy, they're not glamorous, 0:06:28.920 --> 0:06:31.800 but you need to do step by step, and you 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:36.240 need both because you need that vision and dream to 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:40.360 keep you going when things get difficult, but you need 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:43.279 a plan to get there. The other thing that I 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:48.040 think is fascinating is even though we begin with the 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:51.719 end in mind, like the example that you gave about 0:06:52.240 --> 0:06:57.560 the park Core Championship, we may begin with the end 0:06:57.600 --> 0:07:00.600 in mind because it's incredibly motive aiding and it's a 0:07:00.720 --> 0:07:06.880 driving force. But often even those small steps, just incorporating 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:10.760 a little bit of that into our daily life might 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:15.640 be enough two fuel us and make us feel a 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:20.119 sense of fulfillment, help us feel satiated. So that north 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:24.640 star or that big hairy goal is a driver, a marker, 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:27.800 and a way for you to be guided forward. It 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:31.400 might not eventually be your destination, and that's okay. The 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:34.080 fact is that you're on the journey and that first 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:37.040 step and second step and third step of the journey 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:40.560 is what matters. And I think that's so important because 0:07:40.560 --> 0:07:43.560 people get so hung up on that big hairy, audacious, 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:46.840 authentic goal because they want to set something that's within 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:50.400 limits and the second guess what that goal should be 0:07:51.080 --> 0:07:53.960 and is it too small or it's too big. But 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:56.480 the bigger the better. It has more force and more 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:59.280 power to drive you. The reason I want to bring 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:03.040 that up is because I don't want people to feel 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:05.640 blindsided if they don't meet that goal, because often what 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:08.000 happens is when you start that journey right, like, that 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:10.520 first step is the most difficult. We know that with 0:08:10.640 --> 0:08:14.760 Newtonian physics it takes more energy to get something in motion, 0:08:14.840 --> 0:08:16.960 but when something is motion, it takes less energy to 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:19.680 keep it in motion. So we have to take that 0:08:19.760 --> 0:08:23.800 first step and get our bodies in motion, and that 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:28.720 often is enough to feel that sense of fulfillment. I 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:31.920 think that's so important because that goes back to what 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:37.319 Ben said about not die on level one, whether it's 0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:40.360 in again, where it's in the Game of Life or 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:45.520 or actual life. Because it doesn't necessarily mean that your 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:49.080 level A thousand was the one you thought it was 0:08:49.080 --> 0:08:50.920 going to be, as you said a d D. That 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:54.280 can change. But having that north star and continuing to 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:57.080 play it doesn't mean it will be easy, but it 0:08:57.120 --> 0:09:02.600 does mean that leveling up is a good thing. It's 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:05.480 a good thing to have a plan because it feels hard, 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:09.640 and it feels strange to think you're going to be 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:12.680 the one doing it. Because sometimes, like you said, with 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:15.160 Newtonian physics, it's easier for me to stay at risk 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:17.559 and let the person next door do it, let them 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:21.280 be the president of United States. But when it's you 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:25.079 and you start realizing, wow, I can do this. There's 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:27.200 this book, The Great Work of Your Life, and it 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:30.439 talks about how we can find that sense of meaning 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:34.160 and purpose, how we can find that north star. What's 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:39.040 interesting is that many people are just adjacent to their 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:42.760 big dream or big vision. It's not a one eight 0:09:42.920 --> 0:09:44.880 turn that we have to make. Often it's like a 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:49.040 five or ten degree turn or pivot or tilt. So, 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:51.680 for example, in the case of Sandy's Immerman, she wanted 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:55.840 to be a parkour star. She was already a pe 0:09:55.880 --> 0:10:00.320 teacher and physically fit, so she was already embodied a 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:03.120 lot of the traits that she would need to then 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:08.760 meet her big, harry audacious, authentic goal. So in many ways, 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:13.000 when we have that aha moment, that idea or inspiration, 0:10:13.080 --> 0:10:17.360 the spark to really do something big. We already have 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:20.880 all of the raw materials within us to make it happen. 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:24.240 It's just a matter of aligning those maybe refining and 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:28.120 honing certain skills. You know. One of my favorite expressions 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:33.120 by I Believe, a Japanese empress who was profiled in 0:10:33.200 --> 0:10:36.000 Vogue magazine. Believe it or not. She talked about how 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:41.480 she had many different lives before she became empress, and 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:44.680 she just said a very simple statement, nothing in life 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:49.679 is ever wasted. That resonated with me so deeply because 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:51.800 that was the message I needed to hear at the time, 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:54.560 and for all of our listeners. You may be on 0:10:54.600 --> 0:10:57.600 a certain path, you may want to go somewhere else, 0:10:57.960 --> 0:11:03.880 but nothing in your life has been wasted. Every opportunity, struggle, strength, 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:08.760 and achievement that you've already had can be fuel and 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:13.280 fire for your next journey. We're so excited to talk 0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:16.319 about all of these topics with today's guests. Robin ar Zone. 0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:19.040 Robin is the New York Times best selling author of 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.920 Shut Up and Run and Strong Mama. She's also the 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:25.200 vice president of fitness Programming and head instructor at Peloton. 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:30.240 Robin started her career actually as a lawyer. She's also 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:34.960 a recovering lawyer, and she discovered her passion for athletics 0:11:35.600 --> 0:11:39.600 and so much more. Robin is a consummate goal setter. 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:44.200 She's our inspiration today for setting goals, meeting goals, and 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:47.920 surpassing goals. We cannot wait for her to share her 0:11:47.960 --> 0:12:05.400 story with all of you. We're so excited for our guests, 0:12:05.520 --> 0:12:08.559 Robin Arzon to be joining us. Robin does the VP 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:11.960 of fitness Programming and head instructor at Peloton. She's also 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:16.160 a New York Times best selling author. Hi Robin, hi 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:18.560 dd hi Eve, thank you for having me today. So 0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:20.400 we have lots of different goals setting questions, So I 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:23.520 think maybe we'll just start with tell us, what do 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:26.000 you think about goal setting? Do you think of them 0:12:26.040 --> 0:12:28.960 as your big hair, audacious goals? Do you think of 0:12:28.960 --> 0:12:33.959 them as small steps? I love goals. I mean I 0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:38.160 I see goals as as mini finish lines. As someone 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:40.040 who didn't work out as a kid, the fact that 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:43.120 I live in a in a sports analogy is absurd 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:47.720 to me, Like that's absurd. But I absolutely adore goals. 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:53.560 I believe that we can have self generated momentum. And 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:57.000 there are lots of tools that get us unstuck and 0:12:57.040 --> 0:13:01.800 out of inertia. For me, movement is not only health practice, 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:04.760 but it is a creative practice. I actually believe that 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:09.400 I paint and sweat and so my goals. I get 0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:11.840 just as excited about the granular goals as I do 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:15.400 about the big ones. And I pretty much live in hyperbole. 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:18.120 Like in my head it's like you are the baddest 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:21.439 be on the planet. Like I am constantly digging myself up. 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:24.400 But I also am in love with the process. And 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:26.160 I think this is where people get a little bit 0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:30.600 miss aligned with the spirit of goal setting when they 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:35.319 don't fall in love with the process and the boring 0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:39.160 stuff and the things that don't feel exciting, that don't 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:43.200 feel you know that will be applauded on social media 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:46.760 or get that serotonin response when we get the accolade. 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:49.440 So there are many finish lines for me, and whether 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:52.760 it's something iterative like putting a little bit of heavier 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:55.600 weight on the barbell, whether it's major, you know, betting 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:58.880 on myself and submitting a book proposal or something like that, Well, 0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:00.920 can we start back from the beginning. So one of 0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:04.239 the biggest goals that people would see from the outside, 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:08.199 is that you had a complete and total I'm not complete. 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:10.520 I mean, you're you're using your legal skills every day. 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:14.160 But you had a very big pivot, And can you 0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:16.520 just tell us a little bit about that time in 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:19.720 your life, because I'm assuming that some of the things 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:25.040 were probably scary and hard and boring, but also very 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:27.840 exciting as you start building a new this new life, 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:32.000 you're now inspiring us all to live. We stand a 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:38.320 lawyer pivot, don't we eat? Yeah? Reformed lawyers over here. Yeah, 0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:40.160 I do use my law degree every day, so I 0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:42.720 don't regret a moment of any of it. Yeah. I 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:45.040 practiced for almost eight years as a corporate lated getter 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:48.040 in New York City, and I was in the grind. 0:14:48.080 --> 0:14:50.320 I was in the hustle eighty hours a week, and 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:54.800 I actually didn't hate it. My story arc is not hated. 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:57.840 My life created a better one. It was I thought 0:14:57.880 --> 0:15:00.880 my life was just okay. Realized that the lazy mediocrity 0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:03.320 or not the standard by which I do anything. So 0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:05.080 how could I be spending the majority of my life 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:08.240 doing that? Then the pivot. But the pivot was a 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:12.800 slow burn. It was a two year process, and I 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:16.320 set a calendar appointment for ten minutes a day because 0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:18.360 we're the first person to tell ourselves that we don't 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:21.000 have the time. And I love love your philosophy of 0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:23.600 that time is diamonds because it's a non renewable resource 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:25.640 that we're never going to get back. But at that time, 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:28.000 I was telling myself, girl, you don't have time to 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:29.680 figure out a new life, like you're just trying to 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:31.520 get these billables, like you're just trying to pay your 0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:34.320 rent like it was. You know, the corporate hustle can 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:36.800 be can be is very real, and the stories we 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:40.640 tell ourselves within that paradigm feel like we're never going 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:42.840 to escape, Like it really is a super big, like 0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:45.800 Rapunzel moment. So I started telling myself a different story, 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:49.680 but the storytelling was very small, and it was in 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:52.080 ten minute bite sized chunks, and I set account of 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:56.400 recurring calendar appointment Monday through Friday, and it was block 0:15:56.480 --> 0:15:59.400 time that my EA just didn't even know what I 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:03.200 was doing. But eventually I told folks that I was meditating, 0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:07.120 which some days may have been kind of true, but 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:09.120 I was like, what, that's the thing that they can't 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:11.520 they won't touch because they don't know anything about so 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:13.960 I was like, that's my meditation. So anyway, that was 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:16.440 the way for it for me to that was Unicorn 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:18.720 time that I carved out Unicorn space. I didn't call 0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:20.920 it that, of course, because we hadn't met yet. But 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:23.840 in the beginning, it was like I set set a 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:28.520 timer and just write pen to paper like something, well, 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:30.000 how do you want to feel in your new life? 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:33.000 Like who can you contact? Like what can you google? Like? 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:36.560 It was really simplistic. There wasn't a manual. I just 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:39.800 allowed myself, you know what ultimately became hours of time 0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:44.760 cumulatively to dream and then I put those dreams into plans. 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:50.520 So you probably were an incredible corporate litigator and now 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:53.840 you are at this, you know, larger than life, peloton 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:59.760 ambassador and a wife and a mom and even hates 0:16:59.840 --> 0:17:02.720 the word balance and it always makes me laugh because 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:05.119 she eats that word and I use it pretty often 0:17:05.200 --> 0:17:09.199 in my daily life right work life balance and professional 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:12.560 personal balance. I would love to know what you think 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:14.760 of that word, because when I look at you, you 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:19.080 have mastered that thing. Um. I will have to remember 0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:21.199 this conversation on the many, many moments when I do 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:25.280 not feel like I'm good at anything. Um, I agree. 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:30.800 I bristle at the word balance. I instead believe that 0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:35.400 I have priorities, and I'm either in alignment with those 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:38.840 priorities or I'm not. I have a very short list 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:44.040 of things actually that you listen family, business, priorities, friendships, 0:17:44.200 --> 0:17:47.359 and that's kind of like everything else just falls. So 0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:50.239 I don't believe in balance, but I I live, like 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:55.719 unapologetically in alignment with my priorities. And sometimes my priorities shift, 0:17:55.920 --> 0:17:58.520 and I choose my primary identity in any given moment. 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:02.399 Sometimes I'm an executive, sometimes I'm an entrepreneur. Of course, 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:04.320 on the back like I'm always a mom, I'm always 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:06.960 a wife. I don't relinquish those parts of myself, but 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:10.800 I give myself freedom to say this is just going 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:13.439 to be put here for the next hour, ninety minutes, 0:18:13.480 --> 0:18:18.040 two days, whatever, and I'm going to allow this other 0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:20.480 part of my identity to be the tip of the spear. 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:27.600 And that has given me so much freedom to then 0:18:27.960 --> 0:18:30.000 use a work back approach. It's like, Okay, if these 0:18:30.000 --> 0:18:34.040 are my values, then how do I feel my dates? 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:37.240 And I center my values and how I feel my days, 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:40.199 and so yes, I feel fulfilled. I do feel like 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:44.280 I have appropriate balance by my own definition of success, 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:48.360 but it does require enough critical thinking for folks who 0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:50.960 use that in their own lives. The blueprint only works 0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:53.879 if you listen to yourself long enough to know what 0:18:53.880 --> 0:18:56.919 what the priorities are, and then continue to listen to 0:18:56.960 --> 0:18:59.879 yourself to know if you are in alignment or not. 0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:02.640 And when I'm not in alignment, that's when I get 0:19:02.640 --> 0:19:05.280 that sticky feeling in my gut and I start to resent, 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:07.879 if I start to resent appointments, if I start to 0:19:07.920 --> 0:19:11.359 resent these things that I used to love and uh something, 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:14.760 something's gotten askew what I love about that? Yes, I 0:19:14.800 --> 0:19:17.800 was gonna say it's balance is not a terrible word 0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:19.679 in it of itself, but I think the problem is 0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:22.239 so many people think of it as an input. And 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:25.359 what Robin taught me is that it's an output, the 0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:28.320 same way that happiness is an output, the same way 0:19:28.359 --> 0:19:31.400 that jealousy is an output. That when you're doing something 0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:35.239 those feelings you pay attention to them, or again when 0:19:35.280 --> 0:19:37.439 you do other things, like when you're in alignment with 0:19:37.520 --> 0:19:41.280 your priorities, balance does follow or a version of being 0:19:41.280 --> 0:19:44.800 able to feel really good in your decision making follows 0:19:44.920 --> 0:19:48.560 because you've set in motion the way you make decisions 0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:51.800 through your values based lens, which is something that I've 0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:56.120 always really admired about you, Robin. And also I think 0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:59.040 that the beauty of you using a values based lens 0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:01.160 to how you live your life is that it doesn't 0:20:01.200 --> 0:20:04.679 hurt your life. So many people think, well, you know what, 0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:07.120 if I really think about my own values, maybe they're 0:20:07.119 --> 0:20:09.600 not what society wants from me. But look at what 0:20:09.640 --> 0:20:12.600 society is giving you back. I mean, they see your authenticity, 0:20:13.000 --> 0:20:15.879 they see you living by your values, and then people 0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:18.960 want to follow your lead, which I think is really beautiful. 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:23.480 So let's talk a little bit about those small steps. 0:20:23.520 --> 0:20:26.359 One of my favorite small steps that you took was 0:20:26.760 --> 0:20:31.000 cold calling the CEO or the owner of Peloton, way 0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:33.760 back when before people knew it was a household name. 0:20:33.800 --> 0:20:35.960 So can you tell us a little bit about that 0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:38.120 space in your life? How did you have the courage 0:20:38.160 --> 0:20:40.520 to do that? What made you even think about this 0:20:40.600 --> 0:20:43.480 particular company, Like I always think about that when I'm 0:20:43.520 --> 0:20:45.320 going to do something hard. I'm like, well, if Robin 0:20:45.359 --> 0:20:49.159 can call called Peloton, like I can talk to my 0:20:49.240 --> 0:20:51.320 editor about a third book. So you always you give 0:20:51.359 --> 0:20:54.600 me a lot of inspiration. Oh wow, well thanks, thank 0:20:54.600 --> 0:20:56.479 you for that. And yes, third book, we're here for it. 0:20:56.840 --> 0:20:58.879 So I started with a vision board. I had already 0:20:58.920 --> 0:21:02.480 left my law firm and I was working on my book. 0:21:02.480 --> 0:21:05.960 I was coaching runners, and I thought, gosh, what is 0:21:06.000 --> 0:21:09.479 my next step? Like there's so many checks coming in. 0:21:09.560 --> 0:21:12.880 I don't know what is my next step. And I've 0:21:12.920 --> 0:21:15.840 never gone wrong when I bet on myself. And the 0:21:16.000 --> 0:21:20.560 vision board had a quadrant that was about business and 0:21:20.640 --> 0:21:22.800 business partnerships, and that's not the one thing I had 0:21:22.800 --> 0:21:26.800 really contemplated. I understood business as like these business folks 0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:28.560 are my clients. And I thought, oh wait, I have 0:21:28.640 --> 0:21:31.359 to smash all the paradigms, like I am here on 0:21:31.400 --> 0:21:35.479 this earth to smash the paradigms. And so I thought, 0:21:35.520 --> 0:21:37.840 what if there's a new construct of ways that I 0:21:37.880 --> 0:21:41.680 can partner being myself and I am the brand, partnering 0:21:41.720 --> 0:21:44.239 with the brand. I truly influenci Our marketing was like 0:21:44.760 --> 0:21:47.160 just bubbling up at this time. So for me then 0:21:47.200 --> 0:21:50.200 it was a very revolutionary concept, like I'm the product. 0:21:51.200 --> 0:21:56.440 And then I read a blurb about Polatan in Fast Company. 0:21:56.760 --> 0:22:01.000 I read the then CEO John Foley co found and 0:22:01.480 --> 0:22:04.520 it crystallized for me. Not because I was super techy 0:22:04.600 --> 0:22:06.359 and I knew all this stuff about tech. It was 0:22:06.400 --> 0:22:08.480 because I had put on my vision board that I 0:22:08.520 --> 0:22:12.800 wanted to work for a modern, disruptive company that is 0:22:12.840 --> 0:22:16.880 going to storytell on a global scale. In my mind, 0:22:16.920 --> 0:22:18.639 it was going to be a media company or something. 0:22:18.960 --> 0:22:22.040 I didn't realize that this was gonna be the synergy 0:22:22.080 --> 0:22:24.080 that I was in fact looking for, and so I 0:22:24.080 --> 0:22:26.760 sent a cold email to the info at that I 0:22:26.880 --> 0:22:30.199 found on Google. There were only like twenty employees at 0:22:30.200 --> 0:22:34.199 the time of the company, and literally I emailed on 0:22:34.200 --> 0:22:37.520 a Monday. I had a audition on a Wednesday, and 0:22:37.680 --> 0:22:41.000 I had a contract the following week. Use this word 0:22:41.040 --> 0:22:45.080 to describe yourself, unapologetic, and I can't think of a 0:22:45.119 --> 0:22:50.040 better word to describe you as a person. How can 0:22:50.080 --> 0:22:53.800 we get there? How can we get that? Robin arzan 0:22:54.200 --> 0:22:59.040 juju uh, Little by little amounts to a lot right 0:22:59.240 --> 0:23:02.800 using your voice even when it shakes, It's wearing the 0:23:02.800 --> 0:23:05.560 thing that makes you feel good. It's I mean that 0:23:05.680 --> 0:23:07.320 this is a big one, but it's like knowing you're 0:23:07.359 --> 0:23:10.000 worth and adding tax. It's asking for the raise, it's 0:23:10.040 --> 0:23:13.800 creating a boundary around your time. It's taking the long 0:23:13.840 --> 0:23:16.679 way home because you feel like it's it's those little 0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:19.520 moments when we when we feel like we're flexing, when 0:23:19.560 --> 0:23:22.280 we feel like we're being bold, But really that's just 0:23:22.600 --> 0:23:26.840 developing that will power muscle. It's developing that confidence muscle. 0:23:27.040 --> 0:23:28.919 And I also do believe that a lot of my 0:23:29.000 --> 0:23:33.840