WEBVTT - Karma Doesn't Care Feat. Kay Cola

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Meela. Happy Wednesday, Happy Wednesday, my love. How are

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<v Speaker 1>you feeling? Jolly? Holidayish? I'm feeling your holidays. I'm feeling

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<v Speaker 1>about the jolly. Today's a holiday spirit. It's a beautiful

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<v Speaker 1>shade of purple. Yeah, it's gorgeous.

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<v Speaker 2>I was trying to be like Christmas y with my

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<v Speaker 2>green sparkly cannabis leaf Vintage Soul.

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<v Speaker 1>This is my holiday holiday weed. How Mom's smoke weed holiday.

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<v Speaker 1>I like it. I like it. I actually have that

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<v Speaker 1>same shirt. Yeah, this is my Vintage Souls.

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<v Speaker 2>Guys, so if you like the ship, go support a

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<v Speaker 2>female old brand made here in the.

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<v Speaker 1>LA area, Vintage Souls LA. It's also free people and

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<v Speaker 1>spread segel, so just killing it. That's a freeing. All

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<v Speaker 1>our friends is doing big sheet.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow, b Accent, you don't like it, It's still true.

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<v Speaker 1>All of our friends are doing big ship because that's

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<v Speaker 1>the type of women they roll with. Amen. How are

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<v Speaker 1>you today, my love? I'm good. Hi. How are you feeling.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm high. I'm drinking water. I feel great. I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like very like balanced. Oh my god, is that a shirt?

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<v Speaker 1>High and hydrated? Should the fun up edit it out?

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<v Speaker 1>Keep it out anymore? Do you? I'm high too? Okay, anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>you guys, we haven't really amazing guest here. Today I

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<v Speaker 1>met this.

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<v Speaker 2>Special woman at the Dear Young Queen slash ask Ashley

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<v Speaker 2>podcast dinner. If you haven't followed that, make sure you

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<v Speaker 2>check them out. I fucking love Dear Young Queen. They

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<v Speaker 2>have the the best mean account on the internet pretty much.

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<v Speaker 2>And this wonderful woman I'm about to introduce was sitting

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<v Speaker 2>at the end of the table and she was just

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<v Speaker 2>spitting out just free game and I was like, who

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<v Speaker 2>about you that?

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<v Speaker 1>Who is it? I need to know her? But she

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<v Speaker 1>left before I got to connection with her. I think

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<v Speaker 1>she should be on the show.

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<v Speaker 2>So then like I was like I was chasing her.

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<v Speaker 2>I felt like a nigga looking for Like I was

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<v Speaker 2>like in her DMS. I was like, hey girl, Hi,

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<v Speaker 2>I know I didn't get to say hi to you,

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<v Speaker 2>but like and then she didn't read it. I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>fucking I gotta call Ashley. I'm like, Ashley, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>the girl at the end of the table. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know her name, but she said this something about this,

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<v Speaker 2>and like I really need to find her, and so anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>without further ado, I'd love to introduce Okay Colon, serial entrepreneur.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh mama, overall bad bitch. Thank you for coming on

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<v Speaker 2>having me.

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<v Speaker 1>I you know you can slide in my DMS anytime.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I think I got put in like the general

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<v Speaker 2>or or like the one. What's the other one? What's

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<v Speaker 2>the third one?

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<v Speaker 1>It's like primary general requests the request, Well you have

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<v Speaker 1>my number now now I were but I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>I know I'm sitting in requests. She's never going to

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<v Speaker 1>open this. You know are professional stalkers. We will find you.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that even if you don't want to be friends,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't be friends. Perfect. That was sore.

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<v Speaker 3>Even if you don't have friends, I love we have

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<v Speaker 3>of people over past women.

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<v Speaker 1>I love badass boss women. So I'm definitely down.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes I do have Valley Valley girl status.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah i'll hit you. Wait, but let's not give it

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<v Speaker 1>our GEO locations. That'll be good.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm sure y'all got stock I got stockers over

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<v Speaker 2>in Alabama.

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<v Speaker 1>You heard the accent early The Valley of Alabama is

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<v Speaker 1>when I'm saying, yes, the Valley of Alabama back. I

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<v Speaker 1>love that she has the serious stalkers. Quickly she stopped

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<v Speaker 1>me and then shut the fuck up.

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<v Speaker 4>No, like literally, people call my food truck and like

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<v Speaker 4>at five in the morning, there's this guy.

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<v Speaker 1>And he's like, Okay, Kola, you know, I'm just trying

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<v Speaker 1>to see trying to see what.

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<v Speaker 4>So you were what is this my life?

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<v Speaker 1>It's pretty wild? Wow, that's crazy.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow.

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<v Speaker 1>So basically we're not the first to stock you. It's

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<v Speaker 1>no wonder. The one I was sitting in requests sit.

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<v Speaker 4>Well.

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<v Speaker 2>At the top of our show, we pulled a card

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<v Speaker 2>and here Kay pulled the card.

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<v Speaker 1>She's scared because the picture on the card is a

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<v Speaker 1>bit it's been intense, it's a bit heavy. But let

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<v Speaker 1>me give you my tarot inside.

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<v Speaker 2>If you didn't know, this is I don't know what

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<v Speaker 2>week this is, but this is deep December.

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<v Speaker 1>So we have themed months for the podcast. So this

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<v Speaker 1>month is you know, kind of about digging deeper, releasing

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<v Speaker 1>stuff for twenty twenty two. So we're ready. We're ready

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<v Speaker 1>to just you know, do the shadow work. And oh

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<v Speaker 1>I'm doing shadow work right now. It's tough.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's speak on it because me too, girl, Yes, me too.

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<v Speaker 2>But well, hence the cars. So let's see what it says.

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<v Speaker 3>So today Kay pulled the nine of machetes, which is

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<v Speaker 3>usually the Knight of Swords.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. She looks stressed. She stressed, stressed.

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<v Speaker 3>She's a little stress that someone's sitting up in her

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<v Speaker 3>bed with nine machetes stacked behind her.

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<v Speaker 1>So her hands are her head is in her hands.

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<v Speaker 1>She's a stressed not nine machetes. Okay, let's see what

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<v Speaker 1>they're talking about today.

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<v Speaker 3>The Night of Swords suggests that dark thoughts and disturbing

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<v Speaker 3>feelings are weighing you down and keeping you up at night.

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<v Speaker 3>You are worrying excessively about a situation, and your negative

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<v Speaker 3>thoughts are getting the better of you, leaving you stressed

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<v Speaker 3>and anxious. The more you associate with your fears, the

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<v Speaker 3>more they will rule your life. As you obsess over

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<v Speaker 3>what's not working, the more anxious you become, and the

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<v Speaker 3>more you'll worry. It becomes a negative cycle where one

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<v Speaker 3>awful thought leads to another, and another and another until

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<v Speaker 3>they're overwhelmed.

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<v Speaker 1>You anxieties my life. I just cannot your life. No,

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<v Speaker 1>it's my life. I am not associated with car.

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<v Speaker 3>Just that your nine of swords are stacked upon each

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<v Speaker 3>other on the walls, So too, are your negative thoughts.

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<v Speaker 3>Be careful because the fear and morey and the Nine

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<v Speaker 3>of Swords can become a self fulfilling prophecy. As you

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<v Speaker 3>have possessed over what may go wrong, you are more

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<v Speaker 3>likely to manifest your worst case scenario because you were

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<v Speaker 3>inadvertly acting in ways that support your negative thoughts. I

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<v Speaker 3>say this all the time. Preached on it, Bitty Taro.

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<v Speaker 3>For example, you may worry that your partner will cheat

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<v Speaker 3>on you, even though you found no signs of infidelity.

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<v Speaker 3>The more you stress about this potential outcome, the more

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<v Speaker 3>your anxiety pushes away your partner, until one day he

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<v Speaker 3>feels so disconnected from you that he starts this new relationship.

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<v Speaker 3>He starts.

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<v Speaker 1>Made cheat? You made a cheat? Man? You know? Why

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<v Speaker 1>did they have to say they knew they were targeting women?

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<v Speaker 1>They were in that Instagram post that he liked this? Literally?

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<v Speaker 4>Is that?

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<v Speaker 1>Did my ex write this? Literally? Sounds like him?

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<v Speaker 3>When you are repeating negative thoughts in your mind, you

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<v Speaker 3>run the risk of manifesting them in your life. So

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<v Speaker 3>the Night of Swords ask you to break the cycle.

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<v Speaker 3>Every time a negative emotion comes up, replace it with

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<v Speaker 3>a positive one instead. The nine of Swords reminds you

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<v Speaker 3>that much of the fear and worry you're experiencing is

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<v Speaker 3>in your head and not necessarily an accurate reflection of

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<v Speaker 3>what is happening around you.

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<v Speaker 1>You're overthinking or obsessing over the worst case scenarios.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it is time to examine your situation from a

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<v Speaker 3>new perspective. Instead of looking for evidence of what is

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<v Speaker 3>going wrong, put your attention on what is going right.

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<v Speaker 3>Take a deep breath, and realize that life is not

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<v Speaker 3>as dreadful as it seems, and that the more you worry,

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<v Speaker 3>the more harm you were doing to yourself.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, okay, I don't believe in coincidences, Like I definitely

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<v Speaker 4>feel like I was onto that card. I have a

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<v Speaker 4>history of worriedness in the women in my family. On

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<v Speaker 4>my mom's side, not necessarily on my dad's side, they

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<v Speaker 4>tend to be like more negative. My mom's side is

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<v Speaker 4>more a little bit more optimistic, but very worrisome, And

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<v Speaker 4>I feel like I inherited that trait. And I'm a

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<v Speaker 4>life path number eight, which is like someone who's a

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<v Speaker 4>rapid manifestor someone who really good with money, but they

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<v Speaker 4>tend to be It's tricky in relationships so I do

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<v Speaker 4>tend to have anxiety and worry behind relationships, so that

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<v Speaker 4>card is extremely accurate. I have been losing sleep. I've

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<v Speaker 4>lost way over like worry of that. So that was

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<v Speaker 4>just like confirmation to like, I'm definitely on this path,

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<v Speaker 4>like I'm in therapy and you know, I even like

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<v Speaker 4>fall asleep now to affirmations that kind of counter mindative

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<v Speaker 4>thoughts so that I can be clear.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, wow, that's crazy. We actually just talked about this

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<v Speaker 1>an hour ago.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we're talking about negative self talk and how for

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<v Speaker 2>me because I do that. I have negative self talk

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<v Speaker 2>and it's so like it's so quiet that I do

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<v Speaker 2>it all day and I don't even notice, and then

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<v Speaker 2>suddenly I have anxiety and.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, why do I have anxiety? I'm talking shit

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<v Speaker 1>all day.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And so now to counter it, I literally have

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<v Speaker 2>to it's not really it is positive self talk, but

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<v Speaker 2>it's not in my head. I actually say it out loud,

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<v Speaker 2>and I have to say it out loud and talk

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<v Speaker 2>to myself, record myself, listen to myself talking well to

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<v Speaker 2>myself back, because we don't really do that. We don't

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<v Speaker 2>really actually hear ourselves talk good to ourselves. Yeah, I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>in our heads, that's a powerful tool, but for me,

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<v Speaker 2>what was more powerful is actually doing it out loud.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, I had that out girl. Yeah no, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>definitely gonna take that tip.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean I used to think that, like the post

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<v Speaker 4>it notes on the mirrors, I used to think all

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<v Speaker 4>that stuff is weird. But now I actually get it

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<v Speaker 4>now that I'm aware and more self aware. My therapist

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<v Speaker 4>was telling me, how, you know, we don't realize that

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<v Speaker 4>our subconscious controls everything we do, and conventional therapy typically

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<v Speaker 4>focuses on you know, the surface and the conscious, and

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<v Speaker 4>we're not operating from that place. So it's just so

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<v Speaker 4>silly to like, you know, that's why we keep running

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<v Speaker 4>into these same problems where people will spend years and

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<v Speaker 4>years in therapy and continue a cycle. So absolutely talk

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<v Speaker 4>changing the voices in our head change. There are even

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<v Speaker 4>things that I would say to myself that I was realizing,

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<v Speaker 4>like abusive exes would say to me, and it wasn't

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<v Speaker 4>my thought, but it became my thought because I would

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<v Speaker 4>not play, Yeah, I would replay like what they would

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<v Speaker 4>say to me in my head, and therefore it became

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<v Speaker 4>my thought.

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<v Speaker 1>And so now I have to replace all of those things.

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<v Speaker 2>It's so interesting that you what you said before about therapy,

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<v Speaker 2>Like a lot of the things that we the place

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<v Speaker 2>we operate from is from a place of like subconscious

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<v Speaker 2>because we were talking about how we're sel self aware, right,

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<v Speaker 2>Like we're self self aware, and I think a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of times the most self aware people need therapy the most.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because you will self aware the fuck out of

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<v Speaker 1>ourselves all that. I know, I know what I did wrong.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, listen, I can name exactly what the fuck

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<v Speaker 2>I did wrong. But it's like, Okay, well that's great,

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<v Speaker 2>but like subconsciously, you're still doing it, So like, how

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<v Speaker 2>are we gonna fix that that person that like you

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<v Speaker 2>don't even realize is controlling controlling your actions.

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<v Speaker 4>Another thing with being super self aware is like that

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<v Speaker 4>you have a lot of guilt and shame because you

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<v Speaker 4>are so aware, like you're.

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<v Speaker 1>So like aloof and they're just like that's what I was.

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<v Speaker 4>I literally when I say ignorance is bliss, it's so

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<v Speaker 4>true because people walk around you're not giving at all,

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<v Speaker 4>just like you know so much and you care, You're

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<v Speaker 4>constantly trying to figure it out, and you guilt.

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<v Speaker 3>Your guests, Oh my god, they just fucked me up.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel fucked up. That's so true. Like I really

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<v Speaker 3>guilt myself and I really feel really bad when I'm

0:11:54.240 --> 0:11:57.440
<v Speaker 3>fucking up all the time, or like I'm not getting out.

0:11:57.520 --> 0:11:59.760
<v Speaker 3>I'm not like evolving out of like doing this one

0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:02.000
<v Speaker 3>thing or like fucking this thing. I know I shouldn't

0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:03.439
<v Speaker 3>be fucking and I keep sucking up.

0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:07.400
<v Speaker 1>But I'm like, bitch, you were doing this last year, so.

0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:11.600
<v Speaker 3>Fucking angry, and then I'm now I'm realizing just because

0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:14.040
<v Speaker 3>you said that, it's because I am self aware, I'm

0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:16.679
<v Speaker 3>guilty and feeling so bad for even more.

0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:18.880
<v Speaker 1>Like if I was just like I give like, yeah,

0:12:19.080 --> 0:12:21.080
<v Speaker 1>I fell on his dick. I have friends like that,

0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:23.080
<v Speaker 1>like I don't give a find. We fought last week

0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:25.160
<v Speaker 1>and you god damn right, I'm a fucking this week.

0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:27.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't give a fuck. I'm like, that's not healthy.

0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:29.200
<v Speaker 1>Which if I had more of that.

0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:33.920
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, no, yes, yeah, I think it catches up to you.

0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:35.800
<v Speaker 4>But when you have a higher calling on your life,

0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:39.000
<v Speaker 4>like you're not allowed to operate from that. When you're

0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:42.200
<v Speaker 4>in your like higher vibrational you know that voice is

0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:44.760
<v Speaker 4>there for a reason. It's like, sis, now, come on,

0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:49.040
<v Speaker 4>we know, like everybody tries to say like, oh.

0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:50.960
<v Speaker 1>Everybody's a king and everybody's a queen.

0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:54.320
<v Speaker 4>Okay, whatever, But no, like, no, there's a reason that

0:12:54.400 --> 0:12:59.120
<v Speaker 4>some people hear certain things or have you know, intuitive abilities,

0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:02.080
<v Speaker 4>or just there's a reason that some people know that

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:04.160
<v Speaker 4>they're different and that there's a calling on their life.

0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:05.160
<v Speaker 1>And then there are.

0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:08.960
<v Speaker 4>People who are just fine with it just being mediocre,

0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:10.160
<v Speaker 4>or they just being.

0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:11.959
<v Speaker 1>The way they are, damn, or being in the loop.

0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:15.440
<v Speaker 1>They're comfortable in the loop. That's so fucking true.

0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:17.240
<v Speaker 3>I was just telling Erica, I'm like, I think I'm

0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:20.200
<v Speaker 3>finally coming to this place where I like you too.

0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:23.000
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, I think we're acknowledging that there's like, well

0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:25.360
<v Speaker 3>it's been that way, but a force greater than us,

0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:28.360
<v Speaker 3>a purpose greater than us, like even our friendship, even

0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:31.200
<v Speaker 3>like the beginning of this like podcast, and it's just

0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:35.600
<v Speaker 3>like taking this life form, it's like it's so much higher,

0:13:35.679 --> 0:13:38.000
<v Speaker 3>you know, And sometimes it is that like I'm holding

0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:40.559
<v Speaker 3>myself back. I told Erica like two months ago, I

0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:43.880
<v Speaker 3>was like, if I don't stop sucking this second, our.

0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:46.440
<v Speaker 1>Business is not gonna grow. Oh my god, that is

0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:47.200
<v Speaker 1>very true.

0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:49.880
<v Speaker 4>I was like, I just feel guilty because it's just

0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:51.880
<v Speaker 4>affecting everybody.

0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:55.440
<v Speaker 1>She was like, you need to relax. She was like,

0:13:55.760 --> 0:13:57.840
<v Speaker 1>I think you're putting too much pressure yourself. I'm like,

0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:01.719
<v Speaker 1>I just know, no, you're right. I had I told

0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:02.920
<v Speaker 1>you about my oracle earlier.

0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:04.480
<v Speaker 4>I had her telling me a couple of years ago,

0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:07.080
<v Speaker 4>if you don't let go of this man, your business

0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:07.880
<v Speaker 4>is gonna suffer.

0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:12.600
<v Speaker 1>And sometimes we this is it's so crazy because.

0:14:12.480 --> 0:14:15.440
<v Speaker 4>Karma does not care that you didn't do the act

0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:17.479
<v Speaker 4>right if you're next to somebody.

0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:20.840
<v Speaker 1>That did it and you're said, yes, it will come

0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:21.520
<v Speaker 1>for you too.

0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:23.760
<v Speaker 4>So it's like or even if you know, for me,

0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:26.320
<v Speaker 4>I was like a blessing to my ex and he

0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:28.440
<v Speaker 4>was not supposed to get all this stuff I was

0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:31.680
<v Speaker 4>giving him, So the universe was trying to force me

0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:35.040
<v Speaker 4>away from that because he had to do his own stuff.

0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:39.520
<v Speaker 4>Sometimes we try to save people from their stuff and

0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:40.520
<v Speaker 4>we enable them.

0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:42.520
<v Speaker 1>They're never gonna grow if.

0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:46.680
<v Speaker 2>We keep like you're guilty by association with karma basically,

0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:49.000
<v Speaker 2>and I never even really viewed it that way, but

0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:52.800
<v Speaker 2>you're so right. It's like, and that's why your intuition

0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:54.600
<v Speaker 2>will be yelling at You're like, bitch, I know you're

0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:56.120
<v Speaker 2>not doing it, but you're fucking him.

0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:58.720
<v Speaker 1>He's putting all that shit inside of you.

0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:01.000
<v Speaker 2>You're saying it's okay that you're this person right now,

0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:02.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm still gonna be here.

0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:05.000
<v Speaker 3>And even like you're innate want as women to like

0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:07.800
<v Speaker 3>nurture and be there for someone, Like I've even seen

0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:10.760
<v Speaker 3>myself in those very situations be like, well it's me,

0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:13.720
<v Speaker 3>Like I'm not growing because that's my own thing and

0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:16.320
<v Speaker 3>I'm trying to project onto him, you know, and I

0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:17.840
<v Speaker 3>can care for him and also grow it.

0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:21.120
<v Speaker 1>That's an excuse, but the truth is, like, bitch, I

0:15:21.200 --> 0:15:21.720
<v Speaker 1>was clouded.

0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:23.680
<v Speaker 3>I cannot live with the nigga not doing shit and

0:15:23.760 --> 0:15:25.920
<v Speaker 3>do shit. It just doesn't work that way. It's literally

0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:28.720
<v Speaker 3>by association. And I had to like understand that like

0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:31.600
<v Speaker 3>cutting that tie wasn't me being a bad person. It

0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:35.360
<v Speaker 3>was actually like fending for myself and for my child,

0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:38.280
<v Speaker 3>and like it's not about feeling bad, it's about actually

0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:41.160
<v Speaker 3>feeling good. And if being even close to someone that's

0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:44.800
<v Speaker 3>toxic only feels good on like a lower level, then

0:15:44.840 --> 0:15:46.920
<v Speaker 3>it doesn't feel good at all. If you're like fucking

0:15:46.920 --> 0:15:49.400
<v Speaker 3>someone and it's like it feels nice to stay there

0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:52.160
<v Speaker 3>but you're not growing, You're staying fucking stagnant. And the

0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:54.720
<v Speaker 3>only reason you can feel like that's happening is because

0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:58.120
<v Speaker 3>you're being tied down by this person. You have got

0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:00.480
<v Speaker 3>to honor that shit and cut that every way.

0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:04.400
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you're also preventing them from, you know, becoming what

0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:07.560
<v Speaker 4>they're supposed to become because the pain of losing you

0:16:07.720 --> 0:16:10.160
<v Speaker 4>or whatever that is, whatever lesson that is, they're never

0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:12.560
<v Speaker 4>gonna get it if you're just sticking around and you

0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:15.160
<v Speaker 4>guys are gonna be so enthralled with one another and

0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:17.720
<v Speaker 4>blame each other for why you're this way and why

0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:21.760
<v Speaker 4>he's this way instead of like, no, I'm gonna focus on.

0:16:22.280 --> 0:16:24.880
<v Speaker 1>What I'm doing and how I can be better and

0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:26.360
<v Speaker 1>whether he does it.

0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:29.080
<v Speaker 4>I think as women we try to like make men

0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:34.520
<v Speaker 4>see themselves too much what they're doing wrong. And I know,

0:16:34.600 --> 0:16:37.320
<v Speaker 4>for me, maybe I think sometimes I was doing it

0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:40.360
<v Speaker 4>so that I didn't have to address my shit. M Like,

0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:42.640
<v Speaker 4>if I'm fixing you, then I'm perfect.

0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:44.440
<v Speaker 1>I don't yeah, like I'm good.

0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:47.440
<v Speaker 4>I just gotta fix you then I don't have to

0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:49.840
<v Speaker 4>look at like all my traumas and all my stuff.

0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:53.000
<v Speaker 2>So well, if I fix you to fit my traumas

0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:55.600
<v Speaker 2>and cater to them and make me feel good about

0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:59.840
<v Speaker 2>this and that like there's that tool, yeah.

0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:04.040
<v Speaker 3>Which brings me to Before we started recording, we just

0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:06.800
<v Speaker 3>were talking about astrology signs and that both my parents

0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:09.800
<v Speaker 3>are Taurus and they have like the most long term

0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:14.800
<v Speaker 3>toxic love affair I've ever seen in reality, and it's

0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:16.960
<v Speaker 3>just toxic to a fault, like and there is that

0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:19.719
<v Speaker 3>they love each other so much, but they just know

0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:21.320
<v Speaker 3>I don't think they've been together so long. No one

0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:24.440
<v Speaker 3>stopped to look at their own shit, heal themselves, become

0:17:24.480 --> 0:17:26.040
<v Speaker 3>their own individual.

0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:27.600
<v Speaker 1>No one say like, Okay, this is enough, let's cut

0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:28.639
<v Speaker 1>this shit here. You know.

0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:32.400
<v Speaker 3>They clang to this like childhood like love and comfort

0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:35.479
<v Speaker 3>and this excuse that like the kids benefit from it.

0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:38.520
<v Speaker 3>I'm fucked up, I'm a therapy right.

0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:39.960
<v Speaker 1>Didn't benefit right.

0:17:40.240 --> 0:17:43.199
<v Speaker 3>But it's like when you do that and you avoid

0:17:43.240 --> 0:17:45.800
<v Speaker 3>yourself to a fault with other people, even people that

0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:49.080
<v Speaker 3>you love, it can like you could fuck around turn

0:17:49.160 --> 0:17:51.240
<v Speaker 3>and like wake up and be fifty seven and fifty

0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:54.560
<v Speaker 3>like or sixty or you know, and be like, oh no, you.

0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:57.280
<v Speaker 4>Know, I never took the time to That's the trauma

0:17:57.320 --> 0:17:59.520
<v Speaker 4>bonding though, and that's like when we were at the

0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:00.800
<v Speaker 4>dinner when I was.

0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:02.840
<v Speaker 1>Talking about twin flame versus sole me.

0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:06.399
<v Speaker 4>A lot of twin flames, so that's your mirror, and

0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:09.480
<v Speaker 4>a lot of twin flames get together based on their traumas.

0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:12.080
<v Speaker 4>It's like, oh, your daddy you oh my god, mine

0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:15.880
<v Speaker 4>did too. Oh we were like bonding in pain, right,

0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:20.640
<v Speaker 4>and then it no, no, that's not That doesn't mean

0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:23.120
<v Speaker 4>that this person is your soulmate or your life partner.

0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:25.080
<v Speaker 4>It's just yeah, you have them in calming, which a

0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:27.679
<v Speaker 4>lot of us do. A lot of us have, you know,

0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:32.000
<v Speaker 4>our needs weren't met or some sort of abuse or you.

0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:35.639
<v Speaker 3>Know, drugging whatever, and then now we could clean together

0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:37.560
<v Speaker 3>and we're never gonna leave each other, leave each other,

0:18:37.600 --> 0:18:39.800
<v Speaker 3>but also we'll always think we might, and that's gonna

0:18:39.840 --> 0:18:40.840
<v Speaker 3>be the argument.

0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:42.640
<v Speaker 1>You're gonna leave me, aren't you right?

0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:43.199
<v Speaker 3>You know?

0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:45.639
<v Speaker 1>So let me tell you guys something. I've never been dumped.

0:18:46.119 --> 0:18:49.199
<v Speaker 1>And the reason I used to think, like, oh I

0:18:49.240 --> 0:18:55.680
<v Speaker 1>must be I've never never been dumb, breaking breaking.

0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:58.760
<v Speaker 4>News, not for me never, but wait but wait, not

0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:02.640
<v Speaker 4>as tight as it say, I'm like, it's because.

0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:05.280
<v Speaker 1>These dudes have abandon me, like I had to come

0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:06.040
<v Speaker 1>to a realization.

0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:10.800
<v Speaker 4>I realize this in being by myself and analyzing what

0:19:10.920 --> 0:19:13.800
<v Speaker 4>is the commonality between all of these men? They were

0:19:13.880 --> 0:19:17.880
<v Speaker 4>like obsessive with me, like entitled to me and thralled

0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:20.879
<v Speaker 4>and all these things. And I'm like, it's not okay, look,

0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:25.639
<v Speaker 4>I'm fire, okay, whatever, But it's not that it's because

0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:28.600
<v Speaker 4>they see something in me that they wanted their mother

0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:33.520
<v Speaker 4>to do. It's somebody left them and it drove them crazy.

0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:36.360
<v Speaker 4>And so anytime I'm pulling away, no, I gotta get

0:19:36.400 --> 0:19:39.800
<v Speaker 4>you back, or I'm not good enough because you're leaving me.

0:19:40.040 --> 0:19:41.720
<v Speaker 1>I would hear that a lot. You make me feel

0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:43.479
<v Speaker 1>like I'm not good enough. That's what I hear from

0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:46.080
<v Speaker 1>men too. Why do you love me? Why?

0:19:46.240 --> 0:19:49.000
<v Speaker 2>Why do you think that there's also a trend in

0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:50.080
<v Speaker 2>the men that you choose them to.

0:19:50.520 --> 0:19:54.480
<v Speaker 4>Oh absolutely, I choose men who have mother issues and

0:19:55.080 --> 0:19:57.480
<v Speaker 4>need a lot of healing. I chose a couple of

0:19:57.520 --> 0:20:00.040
<v Speaker 4>good guys, but I only chose them because.

0:19:59.800 --> 0:20:02.560
<v Speaker 1>They were good, not because I actually really liked them.

0:20:03.080 --> 0:20:04.280
<v Speaker 1>And that's toxic too.

0:20:04.600 --> 0:20:07.639
<v Speaker 3>Do you think that because naturally you're a healer, you

0:20:07.800 --> 0:20:10.480
<v Speaker 3>attract that or like, because like, how do you even

0:20:10.520 --> 0:20:13.600
<v Speaker 3>in that you know, like, how do you fucking weep

0:20:13.680 --> 0:20:16.080
<v Speaker 3>that out? Because for obvious reasons, that also doesn't work,

0:20:16.119 --> 0:20:18.600
<v Speaker 3>and everyone, no one's gonna come all the way healed,

0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:20.920
<v Speaker 3>but like, have you done some of the work, Like

0:20:20.960 --> 0:20:22.679
<v Speaker 3>I'm not here to do the work for you, you know.

0:20:23.400 --> 0:20:26.919
<v Speaker 4>So that's what I'm currently working on, because my last

0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:30.520
<v Speaker 4>few have just been so worked up. I'm like, what

0:20:30.760 --> 0:20:33.520
<v Speaker 4>is going on? I'm like, Okay, both y'all have beards.

0:20:33.640 --> 0:20:35.040
<v Speaker 4>Maybe it's the beard I'm.

0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:39.880
<v Speaker 3>Right now, but.

0:20:40.560 --> 0:20:44.240
<v Speaker 4>They both definitely had issues with abandonment and their mothers.

0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:46.360
<v Speaker 1>And I saw that as a thread, right.

0:20:46.440 --> 0:20:49.000
<v Speaker 4>I saw that The thing is, it's still weird, like

0:20:49.240 --> 0:20:52.600
<v Speaker 4>anytime as a child and as a mother to a

0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:56.440
<v Speaker 4>black son, I see that if the dad messes up

0:20:56.480 --> 0:21:00.959
<v Speaker 4>for some reason, the sons blame the monk too. And

0:21:01.040 --> 0:21:03.760
<v Speaker 4>so even if the mom was a great mom, not

0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:05.720
<v Speaker 4>saying that all of them were great moms, but even

0:21:05.760 --> 0:21:08.479
<v Speaker 4>if the mom was like the perfect mom, for whatever reason,

0:21:08.520 --> 0:21:12.280
<v Speaker 4>they hold resentment and always blame the mom for abuse,

0:21:12.640 --> 0:21:13.320
<v Speaker 4>Like how.

0:21:13.200 --> 0:21:14.840
<v Speaker 1>Do you blame your mother forget?

0:21:14.880 --> 0:21:16.520
<v Speaker 4>You know what I'm saying? Like all of that right,

0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:18.119
<v Speaker 4>And I was even talking to my nanny about it.

0:21:18.200 --> 0:21:21.600
<v Speaker 4>She shared a similar story where her husband was abusive

0:21:21.640 --> 0:21:24.679
<v Speaker 4>towards her and she left and the son was like,

0:21:24.720 --> 0:21:27.200
<v Speaker 4>I hate you. You broke up our family, and it's

0:21:27.240 --> 0:21:30.520
<v Speaker 4>like your mom is you know, So it's this resentment

0:21:30.600 --> 0:21:33.359
<v Speaker 4>towards mom. And if the mom was not a good mom,

0:21:33.840 --> 0:21:36.040
<v Speaker 4>emotionally unavailable and never said I love.

0:21:35.880 --> 0:21:39.440
<v Speaker 1>You, they tend to become abusive.

0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:43.800
<v Speaker 4>Now on the flip side, women who were abused growing up,

0:21:44.280 --> 0:21:46.840
<v Speaker 4>and again, abuse is a plethora of things, right, It's

0:21:46.960 --> 0:21:50.760
<v Speaker 4>not just you know, physical, it could be emotional, anything, right,

0:21:50.840 --> 0:21:54.120
<v Speaker 4>So what happens with women is we tend to draw

0:21:54.200 --> 0:21:59.080
<v Speaker 4>in abusers, whereas men become the abuser. And so it's

0:21:59.080 --> 0:22:03.080
<v Speaker 4>such a different dynamic between what happens to like the

0:22:03.080 --> 0:22:04.040
<v Speaker 4>female and the male.

0:22:04.600 --> 0:22:08.159
<v Speaker 1>And so with me, I tend to attract abusers.

0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:11.280
<v Speaker 4>I've attracted really good guys as well, but I tend

0:22:11.359 --> 0:22:14.919
<v Speaker 4>to like stick it out longer or try to fix

0:22:15.000 --> 0:22:15.960
<v Speaker 4>or whatever it is.

0:22:16.400 --> 0:22:18.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm still currently trying to fix that.

0:22:18.840 --> 0:22:21.000
<v Speaker 4>But one of the things that my therapist did say

0:22:21.760 --> 0:22:25.520
<v Speaker 4>was that people who love bomb you, do you guys

0:22:25.560 --> 0:22:26.160
<v Speaker 4>know what love bombing?

0:22:26.320 --> 0:22:26.480
<v Speaker 2>Yes?

0:22:26.560 --> 0:22:29.520
<v Speaker 1>Okay, people who love bomb you in the beginning.

0:22:29.760 --> 0:22:34.000
<v Speaker 4>That is a huge red flag because they are trying

0:22:34.040 --> 0:22:37.000
<v Speaker 4>to get you addicted to them because.

0:22:36.680 --> 0:22:38.000
<v Speaker 1>They don't want you to leave.

0:22:38.160 --> 0:22:41.080
<v Speaker 4>And so people who are in like normal relationships are

0:22:41.119 --> 0:22:42.800
<v Speaker 4>not going to try to move things quickly.

0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:45.440
<v Speaker 1>They don't say I love you super fast.

0:22:46.000 --> 0:22:48.800
<v Speaker 4>So I'm trying to get like the tools to know

0:22:48.840 --> 0:22:52.000
<v Speaker 4>what to look for moving forward, because my ego used

0:22:52.040 --> 0:22:54.480
<v Speaker 4>to have me in this operating in this space of

0:22:54.560 --> 0:22:58.600
<v Speaker 4>like I'm special and so yeah, he loves me quickly,

0:22:58.720 --> 0:23:00.639
<v Speaker 4>and I had to get out of that, you know

0:23:00.680 --> 0:23:02.200
<v Speaker 4>what I mean, Yeah, because there's a part of you.

0:23:02.119 --> 0:23:04.680
<v Speaker 1>Feel validated by that. And also, like if.

0:23:04.600 --> 0:23:06.359
<v Speaker 3>You're a lover, which a lot of women are, it

0:23:06.400 --> 0:23:08.760
<v Speaker 3>feels like a movie. It feels like you're being swept

0:23:08.840 --> 0:23:10.960
<v Speaker 3>up your feet, especially if it's like if it's reciprocal

0:23:11.000 --> 0:23:13.800
<v Speaker 3>but someone you're also attracted to, if there's some fucking chemistry,

0:23:14.119 --> 0:23:15.880
<v Speaker 3>if someone's like, I love you like this is because

0:23:15.880 --> 0:23:18.040
<v Speaker 3>we're both feeling this way, and it's because this is

0:23:18.040 --> 0:23:20.800
<v Speaker 3>special and not like this is odd. Why the fuck

0:23:20.880 --> 0:23:23.280
<v Speaker 3>are we moving ten steps ahead? You know?

0:23:23.480 --> 0:23:24.760
<v Speaker 1>Nobody has fucked us.

0:23:24.880 --> 0:23:29.359
<v Speaker 3>Yes, the romanticizing of the fucking movies, the movies, the romances,

0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:32.440
<v Speaker 3>the rom coms. That's dead movies. It's labels.

0:23:32.480 --> 0:23:34.840
<v Speaker 2>I mean the reason one of the things that you

0:23:34.880 --> 0:23:37.600
<v Speaker 2>know drew me to you at that dinner was that

0:23:37.640 --> 0:23:41.160
<v Speaker 2>conversation about twin flames and soulmates. And I can't remember

0:23:41.320 --> 0:23:44.239
<v Speaker 2>quite remember like what the question was, like have you

0:23:44.240 --> 0:23:45.960
<v Speaker 2>met your soulmate or something like.

0:23:45.920 --> 0:23:48.880
<v Speaker 1>That, and you had said that there's more. I think

0:23:48.880 --> 0:23:51.040
<v Speaker 1>I believe that people have many soulmates, and I agree

0:23:51.080 --> 0:23:53.080
<v Speaker 1>with that. The moment she said that, I was like,

0:23:53.320 --> 0:23:55.199
<v Speaker 1>doesn't everybody know that? Doesn't everybody know?

0:23:55.359 --> 0:23:57.840
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, no, No, people really get in

0:23:57.880 --> 0:24:00.960
<v Speaker 2>the zone that there was only one per there's only

0:24:01.080 --> 0:24:03.920
<v Speaker 2>one type of love. There's only one, you know, all

0:24:04.000 --> 0:24:08.240
<v Speaker 2>encompassing type of love. And because of that, they will

0:24:08.280 --> 0:24:10.359
<v Speaker 2>hold on they will hold on.

0:24:10.359 --> 0:24:11.640
<v Speaker 1>To the most toxic love.

0:24:11.760 --> 0:24:14.159
<v Speaker 2>Yes, because they hold on to these different parts of

0:24:14.200 --> 0:24:18.080
<v Speaker 2>this person that they identify as their soulmate. I wish

0:24:18.080 --> 0:24:20.760
<v Speaker 2>more people gaze if you're listening, do you have more

0:24:20.800 --> 0:24:21.800
<v Speaker 2>than one soulmate?

0:24:21.920 --> 0:24:24.520
<v Speaker 1>I promise you, like there's more than one.

0:24:24.760 --> 0:24:26.359
<v Speaker 3>Well, I think it kind of goes with like what

0:24:26.440 --> 0:24:29.800
<v Speaker 3>we're talking about maybe the last episode basically that like

0:24:30.160 --> 0:24:32.439
<v Speaker 3>everybody you meet and come and counter with is like

0:24:32.760 --> 0:24:35.119
<v Speaker 3>I think a tool to like spawn you to the

0:24:35.200 --> 0:24:37.840
<v Speaker 3>next level if you allow it. You know, like there

0:24:37.840 --> 0:24:40.520
<v Speaker 3>are a certain purpose in each person that you connect

0:24:40.560 --> 0:24:42.800
<v Speaker 3>with in a certain way. And sometimes a lot of

0:24:42.800 --> 0:24:45.320
<v Speaker 3>times it's a lesson, like Damn, I did this again.

0:24:45.920 --> 0:24:47.800
<v Speaker 3>This is finally gonna be the person that I realize,

0:24:47.840 --> 0:24:52.399
<v Speaker 3>like I'm attracting narcissists at like abusers, Like why, Like

0:24:52.440 --> 0:24:53.840
<v Speaker 3>I said this to you the other day, Like why

0:24:53.840 --> 0:24:55.960
<v Speaker 3>the fuck am I in a constantly in a certain

0:24:56.000 --> 0:24:58.560
<v Speaker 3>position with like I felt like I was having flashbacks

0:24:58.560 --> 0:24:59.840
<v Speaker 3>from like another situation.

0:25:00.040 --> 0:25:02.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I've come so far from that. Why the

0:25:02.800 --> 0:25:04.320
<v Speaker 1>fuck is this happening to me again?

0:25:04.359 --> 0:25:06.280
<v Speaker 3>But like it's because if you don't get that first lesson,

0:25:06.520 --> 0:25:08.480
<v Speaker 3>the universe students send you a second and third they're

0:25:08.480 --> 0:25:09.960
<v Speaker 3>gonna look pretty fucking similar.

0:25:10.000 --> 0:25:13.600
<v Speaker 1>Bitch. That's like where you have to where the work

0:25:13.680 --> 0:25:14.400
<v Speaker 1>needs to be done.

0:25:14.600 --> 0:25:17.680
<v Speaker 4>Have you guys ever read any statistics on because I'm

0:25:17.720 --> 0:25:20.720
<v Speaker 4>just wondering, I'm like, are there just more narciss like not?

0:25:20.840 --> 0:25:22.800
<v Speaker 1>Okay, first of all, not everybody's a narcissist. I know,

0:25:22.800 --> 0:25:23.840
<v Speaker 1>we use that word a lot.

0:25:23.920 --> 0:25:28.120
<v Speaker 4>You can have narcissistic traits and not be a narcissist.

0:25:27.880 --> 0:25:29.440
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, you can be a just an asshole.

0:25:29.560 --> 0:25:32.399
<v Speaker 2>We actually we had a Megan Doherty on She's a

0:25:32.480 --> 0:25:35.760
<v Speaker 2>narcissist specialist, and she broke down love bombing for us

0:25:35.840 --> 0:25:38.600
<v Speaker 2>and also we also I guess I actually think I

0:25:38.600 --> 0:25:40.760
<v Speaker 2>looked up some statistics because I was curious.

0:25:40.400 --> 0:25:43.960
<v Speaker 1>Too, like are more other more men than female? And

0:25:44.000 --> 0:25:48.240
<v Speaker 1>statistically guess yes, yeah, okay, there are more. What was

0:25:48.440 --> 0:25:49.359
<v Speaker 1>what was the number?

0:25:49.480 --> 0:25:52.520
<v Speaker 3>Like it's like one, I don't know, I don't remember

0:25:52.520 --> 0:25:54.399
<v Speaker 3>what it was she but it's on that episode.

0:25:55.000 --> 0:25:57.720
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm curious because I just hear women dealing with

0:25:58.119 --> 0:26:00.320
<v Speaker 4>so much of the same stuff, and like, I have

0:26:00.359 --> 0:26:02.920
<v Speaker 4>a lot of guy friends and we have conversation about

0:26:02.960 --> 0:26:04.639
<v Speaker 4>this because I want to hear both sides, Like I

0:26:04.640 --> 0:26:06.919
<v Speaker 4>don't want it to just always be like, oh poor us,

0:26:07.080 --> 0:26:08.360
<v Speaker 4>it's like the women are you.

0:26:08.320 --> 0:26:08.800
<v Speaker 1>Know what I mean?

0:26:08.920 --> 0:26:11.359
<v Speaker 4>So I try to, you know, hear both sides so

0:26:11.640 --> 0:26:13.080
<v Speaker 4>we can collectively come.

0:26:13.000 --> 0:26:17.520
<v Speaker 1>Up with solutions. And it's tough to hear.

0:26:17.960 --> 0:26:21.560
<v Speaker 4>Like you attract, right, because I've always said when you

0:26:21.600 --> 0:26:23.359
<v Speaker 4>are fire, you attract everything.

0:26:24.040 --> 0:26:26.520
<v Speaker 1>But it is what you're choosing as.

0:26:26.400 --> 0:26:30.000
<v Speaker 4>Well, right, because I have attracted really, really good guys.

0:26:30.640 --> 0:26:34.359
<v Speaker 1>And I didn't necessarily think that the quote unquote.

0:26:34.040 --> 0:26:37.120
<v Speaker 4>Bad guys were bad when I first met them, right,

0:26:37.280 --> 0:26:38.840
<v Speaker 4>I just didn't take my time.

0:26:39.280 --> 0:26:40.840
<v Speaker 1>I just ignored things.

0:26:41.000 --> 0:26:43.840
<v Speaker 4>I was so enthralled in love and it felt so

0:26:44.080 --> 0:26:49.680
<v Speaker 4>freaking fire and like it magical that the little you know,

0:26:49.800 --> 0:26:52.760
<v Speaker 4>the little stuff where when you have your blinders taken

0:26:52.800 --> 0:26:56.040
<v Speaker 4>off that you see later. I didn't see it then,

0:26:56.200 --> 0:26:59.560
<v Speaker 4>you know, So I don't even know. I don't even

0:26:59.640 --> 0:27:02.040
<v Speaker 4>know if it's what we attract. I just think people

0:27:02.119 --> 0:27:04.720
<v Speaker 4>are really shitty, and just like they're really shitty people,

0:27:04.760 --> 0:27:05.760
<v Speaker 4>there are good people.

0:27:05.520 --> 0:27:09.360
<v Speaker 1>And we have to do better at sifting through that.

0:27:10.119 --> 0:27:13.520
<v Speaker 3>I think, especially as haaling women, especially as like a seelers,

0:27:13.560 --> 0:27:14.440
<v Speaker 3>like there's a light around you.

0:27:14.600 --> 0:27:16.439
<v Speaker 1>Erica tells me this all the time, and people are

0:27:16.440 --> 0:27:19.600
<v Speaker 1>going to one and leg. Don't you remember your eyes,

0:27:18.640 --> 0:27:24.640
<v Speaker 1>don't Erica's always telling ma'am Shannon La, a light brought light.

0:27:25.720 --> 0:27:27.919
<v Speaker 1>Everybody wants to get some of this light because at

0:27:27.960 --> 0:27:31.960
<v Speaker 1>Alabama or right now, Alabama Valley Valley.

0:27:32.800 --> 0:27:36.240
<v Speaker 3>The valley's Alabama Alabama Valley.

0:27:36.760 --> 0:27:38.080
<v Speaker 1>But it's true, it's true.

0:27:38.160 --> 0:27:40.439
<v Speaker 3>But it's like as you get older, you have to

0:27:40.480 --> 0:27:43.919
<v Speaker 3>sharpen the tools to be able to better, you know,

0:27:44.480 --> 0:27:48.119
<v Speaker 3>filter who's coming in and staying yeah, and not feeling

0:27:48.280 --> 0:27:50.480
<v Speaker 3>obligated to motherfuckers.

0:27:50.760 --> 0:27:52.719
<v Speaker 1>You're only obligated to yourself.

0:27:54.200 --> 0:27:56.320
<v Speaker 4>That's one thing I think we're talking. I'm over here

0:27:56.320 --> 0:28:02.679
<v Speaker 4>looking is Alabama Valley There it is. I knew it.

0:28:02.680 --> 0:28:07.240
<v Speaker 4>It's called Valley in city in Alabama here on the

0:28:07.240 --> 0:28:11.360
<v Speaker 4>show that's guys off the one oh three catches.

0:28:12.920 --> 0:28:18.479
<v Speaker 1>I can catch me outside. You have kids, right? How

0:28:19.200 --> 0:28:21.280
<v Speaker 1>three kids? I have a three year old, a ten

0:28:21.359 --> 0:28:22.520
<v Speaker 1>year old, and a fifteen year old.

0:28:22.760 --> 0:28:24.840
<v Speaker 4>Two girls, that's the youngest, and then i have a

0:28:24.880 --> 0:28:25.840
<v Speaker 4>fifteen year old boy.

0:28:26.840 --> 0:28:31.040
<v Speaker 1>And I'm learning so much. Yeah, you're in such different stages,

0:28:33.160 --> 0:28:33.560
<v Speaker 1>you know what.

0:28:34.160 --> 0:28:35.639
<v Speaker 4>No, Yeah, I have my fifteen year old when I

0:28:35.640 --> 0:28:38.240
<v Speaker 4>was a mess, so he kind of I say that

0:28:38.280 --> 0:28:40.480
<v Speaker 4>he kind of grew up with me. I mean, we're

0:28:40.560 --> 0:28:44.640
<v Speaker 4>still always growing, but I can see it with how

0:28:44.680 --> 0:28:47.160
<v Speaker 4>they all act because.

0:28:47.000 --> 0:28:50.160
<v Speaker 1>The different stages of who you were. Yes, that's so cool.

0:28:50.520 --> 0:28:52.520
<v Speaker 1>That is pretty cool. It is wild.

0:28:52.640 --> 0:28:55.000
<v Speaker 4>Wow, And I have to work on my guilt and

0:28:55.040 --> 0:28:58.920
<v Speaker 4>shame because again, when you are a mother, you know,

0:28:59.000 --> 0:29:03.880
<v Speaker 4>like mom, there's those perfect and right like growing up

0:29:03.880 --> 0:29:07.720
<v Speaker 4>with your son, like you make so many mistakes, and

0:29:07.800 --> 0:29:10.720
<v Speaker 4>so I'm trying to work on like, yes I did that,

0:29:10.840 --> 0:29:14.360
<v Speaker 4>but like I'm better now and I'm still trying to

0:29:14.400 --> 0:29:14.880
<v Speaker 4>be better.

0:29:15.440 --> 0:29:17.560
<v Speaker 1>And then with my middle daughter, she just thinks I'm

0:29:17.600 --> 0:29:19.760
<v Speaker 1>like everything, you know what I mean.

0:29:19.920 --> 0:29:26.040
<v Speaker 4>Like, so it's just crazy to see, like how they all,

0:29:26.160 --> 0:29:30.320
<v Speaker 4>you know, react differently to me as a mother because

0:29:30.720 --> 0:29:31.920
<v Speaker 4>of their different ages.

0:29:32.640 --> 0:29:36.000
<v Speaker 1>But do they have different fathers? Yes? All three? Yes?

0:29:36.400 --> 0:29:40.720
<v Speaker 1>What is that like? I mean navigating parents? Was navigating

0:29:41.680 --> 0:29:42.640
<v Speaker 1>three different men.

0:29:42.600 --> 0:29:46.920
<v Speaker 2>Like, I mean, oh my god, how to find balance

0:29:47.160 --> 0:29:49.760
<v Speaker 2>within all of them? I mean, I'm gonna hope that

0:29:49.840 --> 0:29:53.800
<v Speaker 2>you have peace and balance with all three? No, okay, no,

0:29:53.800 --> 0:29:55.280
<v Speaker 2>no to Leo's in a virgo.

0:29:57.360 --> 0:30:00.600
<v Speaker 1>She has a type.

0:30:00.880 --> 0:30:04.560
<v Speaker 4>So the first one, I was only twenty and he

0:30:04.720 --> 0:30:06.760
<v Speaker 4>was five years older than me.

0:30:06.880 --> 0:30:09.600
<v Speaker 1>And he had the gift of gab. So he.

0:30:11.080 --> 0:30:15.040
<v Speaker 4>Was from la but his family is from Detroit, so

0:30:15.840 --> 0:30:17.200
<v Speaker 4>definitely gift of gab.

0:30:17.320 --> 0:30:18.600
<v Speaker 1>He's always been like that.

0:30:18.800 --> 0:30:21.320
<v Speaker 4>He was a businessman and he was able to like

0:30:21.640 --> 0:30:23.960
<v Speaker 4>he walked it to me in a suit, got me

0:30:24.040 --> 0:30:25.720
<v Speaker 4>the you know what, the restaurant, they got the lady

0:30:25.720 --> 0:30:29.520
<v Speaker 4>with the roses, he bought the holdout.

0:30:28.280 --> 0:30:31.880
<v Speaker 1>You he girl. But I didn't know what that was.

0:30:33.240 --> 0:30:35.040
<v Speaker 4>I didn't a man if I had. And I told

0:30:35.080 --> 0:30:36.440
<v Speaker 4>my son this the other day. I said, if I

0:30:36.440 --> 0:30:38.840
<v Speaker 4>had the tools then that I had now.

0:30:39.000 --> 0:30:40.240
<v Speaker 1>But like, and this is.

0:30:40.160 --> 0:30:42.480
<v Speaker 4>What I love about the internet and podcast right, we

0:30:42.560 --> 0:30:45.840
<v Speaker 4>are so much more aware of all of this stuff.

0:30:45.880 --> 0:30:47.920
<v Speaker 4>Like I had no idea what a narcissist was, and

0:30:48.040 --> 0:30:49.440
<v Speaker 4>I was that it was not I don't even think

0:30:49.480 --> 0:30:52.240
<v Speaker 4>that was was it worth? It wasn't worse, it was

0:30:52.440 --> 0:30:58.440
<v Speaker 4>worn likened it.

0:30:58.680 --> 0:30:59.600
<v Speaker 1>We weren't using it.

0:30:59.600 --> 0:31:03.200
<v Speaker 4>They were only office Okay, well if you're if your

0:31:03.320 --> 0:31:05.440
<v Speaker 4>dude was buying you the whole roses. And I mean

0:31:05.480 --> 0:31:08.520
<v Speaker 4>he took me shopping, like one of our first dates

0:31:08.560 --> 0:31:11.719
<v Speaker 4>was like a weekend. It wasn't like go to dinner.

0:31:12.040 --> 0:31:15.280
<v Speaker 4>It was like a weekend. And so my friends are like, oh,

0:31:15.360 --> 0:31:17.280
<v Speaker 4>that's so fire. They're not telling me.

0:31:17.280 --> 0:31:21.560
<v Speaker 1>Like maybe not, Like this guy is not twenty.

0:31:24.000 --> 0:31:27.720
<v Speaker 3>Any friendship you to dinner thirty four Like wait wait,

0:31:27.840 --> 0:31:30.440
<v Speaker 3>literally all of us are coming to dinner.

0:31:30.520 --> 0:31:33.200
<v Speaker 4>Let it move me and got me all these cars

0:31:33.440 --> 0:31:35.959
<v Speaker 4>I had. He wanted me to quit my job, Like,

0:31:36.040 --> 0:31:38.800
<v Speaker 4>no woman of mine is gonna work. You're gonna that

0:31:38.880 --> 0:31:42.880
<v Speaker 4>whole thing is yeah, Oh my gosh. Yes, all your

0:31:42.880 --> 0:31:45.000
<v Speaker 4>friends are trash, all your friends are hoses.

0:31:45.120 --> 0:31:47.280
<v Speaker 1>No, you the hope. Right, you have a boyfriend, now

0:31:47.280 --> 0:31:50.640
<v Speaker 1>you don't go hang out with them. Yes, I'm your friend. Yes,

0:31:51.160 --> 0:31:53.600
<v Speaker 1>but he wasn't. He was not my friend. He was

0:31:53.760 --> 0:31:56.480
<v Speaker 1>really it was a mess. And then after him, I

0:31:56.560 --> 0:31:59.800
<v Speaker 1>was so broken down. You know, second baby Daddy was

0:31:59.840 --> 0:32:02.040
<v Speaker 1>just it will slid this way. And you say you

0:32:02.080 --> 0:32:05.640
<v Speaker 1>need to laugh, I got you. Yes, you know what's crazy?

0:32:05.680 --> 0:32:10.120
<v Speaker 4>Okay, all the ladies listen, Fellas too, Do not get

0:32:10.160 --> 0:32:13.880
<v Speaker 4>with anybody right after a breakup because you are so vulnerable.

0:32:14.480 --> 0:32:16.120
<v Speaker 4>You don't know what the fuck you're looking at. It

0:32:16.160 --> 0:32:18.160
<v Speaker 4>could be a whole demon and they will look like

0:32:19.040 --> 0:32:20.040
<v Speaker 4>an angel to you.

0:32:19.960 --> 0:32:23.400
<v Speaker 1>Because you're so vulnerable. And there are.

0:32:23.440 --> 0:32:27.720
<v Speaker 4>People who literally go after people right after a breakup.

0:32:28.160 --> 0:32:30.280
<v Speaker 4>I had an ex friend who I watched him and

0:32:30.280 --> 0:32:32.400
<v Speaker 4>do it to four or five girls because these girls

0:32:32.440 --> 0:32:33.560
<v Speaker 4>would never.

0:32:33.600 --> 0:32:38.120
<v Speaker 1>Fell them wow, otherwise when they were strong. This is

0:32:38.160 --> 0:32:40.480
<v Speaker 1>a tactic. Do not fall for that shit.

0:32:41.440 --> 0:32:44.920
<v Speaker 2>No, that's a good piece of advice, right, it really is,

0:32:45.080 --> 0:32:47.960
<v Speaker 2>because I feel like that's I mean women too, I

0:32:48.040 --> 0:32:49.480
<v Speaker 2>mean that's when we need that.

0:32:49.720 --> 0:32:51.960
<v Speaker 1>We're like, please, someone come in, please come and love

0:32:52.000 --> 0:32:53.800
<v Speaker 1>on me. Take this spot real quick, even if it's

0:32:53.800 --> 0:32:56.240
<v Speaker 1>just for a time. And then a time gets comfortable,

0:32:56.240 --> 0:32:58.520
<v Speaker 1>and then suddenly you look up and it's a year

0:32:58.600 --> 0:33:01.000
<v Speaker 1>later and you went from one straight to the next,

0:33:01.080 --> 0:33:03.280
<v Speaker 1>and now you really don't even know who the fuck

0:33:03.320 --> 0:33:06.320
<v Speaker 1>you are. Yeah, And I was a people pleaser. I

0:33:06.400 --> 0:33:09.600
<v Speaker 1>was a codependent people pleaser. So I would tell people

0:33:09.720 --> 0:33:10.600
<v Speaker 1>know a couple.

0:33:10.280 --> 0:33:12.320
<v Speaker 4>Of times, and if they keep pressing it, I would

0:33:12.400 --> 0:33:15.040
<v Speaker 4>be like, Okay, fine, you know, like I feel bad.

0:33:15.080 --> 0:33:16.840
<v Speaker 4>I don't want you to think that I think I'm

0:33:16.840 --> 0:33:19.040
<v Speaker 4>better than you, like literally shit like that.

0:33:21.440 --> 0:33:21.720
<v Speaker 3>This is.

0:33:24.200 --> 0:33:25.600
<v Speaker 1>Why are you talking to me like this?

0:33:25.840 --> 0:33:29.760
<v Speaker 4>Yes? Yeah, because my whole life people would try to

0:33:29.840 --> 0:33:33.120
<v Speaker 4>like make me feel like, oh, you think you're better

0:33:33.160 --> 0:33:35.520
<v Speaker 4>because of this or that, and I'm like I'm literally

0:33:35.560 --> 0:33:39.240
<v Speaker 4>just chilling, like any of the thought why are you

0:33:39.320 --> 0:33:40.240
<v Speaker 4>putting this on me?

0:33:40.800 --> 0:33:44.000
<v Speaker 1>So for a long time I would.

0:33:43.800 --> 0:33:48.360
<v Speaker 4>Overcommentate and like try to make people feel just so

0:33:48.520 --> 0:33:50.960
<v Speaker 4>comfortable around me, because I know when I walk in

0:33:50.960 --> 0:33:54.040
<v Speaker 4>a room, it's not it's not comfortable. I'm gonna fucking

0:33:54.040 --> 0:33:57.280
<v Speaker 4>shake it up, like that's just how my energy is.

0:33:57.320 --> 0:33:59.320
<v Speaker 4>But it's not in a bad way. But when you're

0:33:59.360 --> 0:34:02.840
<v Speaker 4>not ready to be shaken, people receive it all different

0:34:02.880 --> 0:34:05.880
<v Speaker 4>types of yeah mm hmmmmm.

0:34:06.440 --> 0:34:11.040
<v Speaker 2>So how is it being like a mom and dating

0:34:11.200 --> 0:34:14.040
<v Speaker 2>with like is there like, is there a stigma? I

0:34:14.080 --> 0:34:16.600
<v Speaker 2>mean there's already a stigma around being a single mom, right,

0:34:16.800 --> 0:34:19.880
<v Speaker 2>but I think being a single mom with three different

0:34:20.280 --> 0:34:21.400
<v Speaker 2>baby daddy's.

0:34:21.040 --> 0:34:24.719
<v Speaker 1>People or men or whoever they might be like sign up.

0:34:25.080 --> 0:34:28.440
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. No, I haven't necessarily had a problem with dating,

0:34:28.480 --> 0:34:32.480
<v Speaker 4>per se. I've had a problem with bullying, especially you know,

0:34:32.520 --> 0:34:34.799
<v Speaker 4>being a public figure on the internet, people will try

0:34:34.800 --> 0:34:37.319
<v Speaker 4>to like throw that out there, or you know, if

0:34:37.320 --> 0:34:39.440
<v Speaker 4>a guy likes me and the girl likes him too,

0:34:39.520 --> 0:34:43.560
<v Speaker 4>she'll be like, oh, you know, and I promise you

0:34:43.600 --> 0:34:45.439
<v Speaker 4>they don't care, so stop trying to.

0:34:46.719 --> 0:34:49.560
<v Speaker 1>Niggas do not care. They know they not at all.

0:34:49.880 --> 0:34:53.799
<v Speaker 4>So I'm like, no, but I will say that now

0:34:53.840 --> 0:34:58.520
<v Speaker 4>I'm in a space where I'm definitely more like if

0:34:58.560 --> 0:35:00.640
<v Speaker 4>my kids can't look up to you, I don't need

0:35:00.680 --> 0:35:04.160
<v Speaker 4>to be talking to you. I just I need someone

0:35:04.239 --> 0:35:06.640
<v Speaker 4>who makes my son want to be a better man.

0:35:06.719 --> 0:35:09.759
<v Speaker 4>I need someone where my daughters can say, when they

0:35:09.800 --> 0:35:11.840
<v Speaker 4>get older, I'm not gonna date you because my stepfather

0:35:11.960 --> 0:35:15.799
<v Speaker 4>was not like that, right, So that's what I'm on

0:35:15.920 --> 0:35:18.200
<v Speaker 4>and that does make it tough because it weeds out

0:35:18.360 --> 0:35:25.600
<v Speaker 4>at which is good. Yeah, yeah, because I'm like, if

0:35:25.640 --> 0:35:27.839
<v Speaker 4>I wouldn't want my daughters to date you, why would

0:35:28.040 --> 0:35:29.040
<v Speaker 4>iday to myself?

0:35:29.520 --> 0:35:33.120
<v Speaker 1>It's true, you know, true, it's true. That's so important. Wow,

0:35:33.200 --> 0:35:37.400
<v Speaker 1>that's so simple yet complex? Yeah, why would do Like

0:35:37.480 --> 0:35:40.560
<v Speaker 1>why would we even have a stake ourselves?

0:35:40.920 --> 0:35:42.840
<v Speaker 4>I think we have to start looking at ourselves and

0:35:42.880 --> 0:35:47.040
<v Speaker 4>our inner child and start protecting her, because we really

0:35:47.080 --> 0:35:49.600
<v Speaker 4>put like I don't know what happens when we get older,

0:35:49.640 --> 0:35:53.760
<v Speaker 4>but we just forget like that, we forget that beautiful

0:35:53.800 --> 0:35:55.799
<v Speaker 4>little baby that like, if you see a seven year

0:35:55.840 --> 0:35:58.879
<v Speaker 4>old girl over there, you're gonna like protect her from

0:35:59.000 --> 0:36:01.840
<v Speaker 4>But we don't do that for ourselves, so we like

0:36:01.880 --> 0:36:04.960
<v Speaker 4>almost disassociate like two different people.

0:36:05.400 --> 0:36:06.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah that wasn't me.

0:36:06.920 --> 0:36:07.440
<v Speaker 2>You forget.

0:36:07.600 --> 0:36:09.480
<v Speaker 1>It's almost like as soon as you hit like out

0:36:09.520 --> 0:36:10.560
<v Speaker 1>the house, you do you.

0:36:10.719 --> 0:36:12.960
<v Speaker 3>Like I literally kept telling my parents when I get

0:36:12.960 --> 0:36:15.280
<v Speaker 3>the fuck out of here, I'm never looking back.

0:36:16.120 --> 0:36:17.759
<v Speaker 1>And I really didn't, like in.

0:36:17.760 --> 0:36:22.080
<v Speaker 3>My mind, something in those times literally shifted off and I.

0:36:22.080 --> 0:36:25.000
<v Speaker 1>Kept going and I was like, oh, you guys, are

0:36:25.000 --> 0:36:27.360
<v Speaker 1>still fucking doing fucked up shit. I'm over here. No,

0:36:28.640 --> 0:36:35.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm getting away from my tours. I'm out. Oh my goodness.

0:36:35.920 --> 0:36:38.000
<v Speaker 1>You know what, we didn't share an affirmation. I know

0:36:38.000 --> 0:36:39.960
<v Speaker 1>we're in the middle, but did you have one that

0:36:40.040 --> 0:36:41.279
<v Speaker 1>you can maybe share what I do?

0:36:41.640 --> 0:36:47.560
<v Speaker 4>So when I broke up with my soulmate, I feel

0:36:47.600 --> 0:36:48.800
<v Speaker 4>like I've only really been.

0:36:48.680 --> 0:36:51.680
<v Speaker 1>In love one time, and that was my third daughter's

0:36:51.719 --> 0:36:53.960
<v Speaker 1>father ever in life one time.

0:36:54.320 --> 0:36:56.719
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, really when I really think about it, because I

0:36:56.760 --> 0:36:59.360
<v Speaker 4>still love him, but I don't want to be with him,

0:36:59.440 --> 0:37:02.000
<v Speaker 4>and I don't feel that way about anybody else. So

0:37:02.920 --> 0:37:05.239
<v Speaker 4>I used to say, so, okay, So there's this thing

0:37:05.320 --> 0:37:07.560
<v Speaker 4>that helps heal you. It's a Hawaiian thing and I

0:37:07.600 --> 0:37:09.799
<v Speaker 4>don't know exactly how to pronounce it, but it's like.

0:37:09.760 --> 0:37:13.000
<v Speaker 1>A on aona ona or whatever, and you chance.

0:37:12.880 --> 0:37:16.640
<v Speaker 4>It over and over again, and it's basically, I'm sorry.

0:37:16.800 --> 0:37:18.880
<v Speaker 4>You say this to the person that hurt you. You

0:37:19.000 --> 0:37:22.279
<v Speaker 4>tell them I'm sorry, I love you, I forgive you.

0:37:23.120 --> 0:37:25.720
<v Speaker 4>So I used to say that over and over again,

0:37:25.760 --> 0:37:28.440
<v Speaker 4>but then I created my own I used to tell like,

0:37:28.480 --> 0:37:30.200
<v Speaker 4>I would look out at the moon, I'm so fucking

0:37:30.440 --> 0:37:33.359
<v Speaker 4>I would hold my crystals look out at the moon

0:37:33.719 --> 0:37:36.200
<v Speaker 4>and say I love you. I hope you heal, like

0:37:36.239 --> 0:37:38.080
<v Speaker 4>I would send that to him, but I was. But

0:37:38.120 --> 0:37:40.400
<v Speaker 4>when you're saying that, you're also saying it to yourself.

0:37:41.120 --> 0:37:44.520
<v Speaker 4>And so I've been saying that for like three years now,

0:37:44.760 --> 0:37:48.359
<v Speaker 4>and people say it like all over the world now,

0:37:48.400 --> 0:37:51.480
<v Speaker 4>and it's kind of cool, Like even when people are

0:37:51.480 --> 0:37:53.160
<v Speaker 4>in arguments, they just tell people, you know what, I

0:37:53.200 --> 0:37:54.239
<v Speaker 4>love you, I help you heal.

0:37:55.480 --> 0:38:00.160
<v Speaker 2>It's so important to again vocalize like that's beautiful than

0:38:00.760 --> 0:38:04.799
<v Speaker 2>take that with me, because I've been doing, like doing

0:38:04.840 --> 0:38:08.279
<v Speaker 2>a lot of forgiving with my father and talking out

0:38:08.360 --> 0:38:11.600
<v Speaker 2>loud to him, not to him, but like to him,

0:38:12.000 --> 0:38:15.640
<v Speaker 2>and it's been so fucking healing to let go and

0:38:15.680 --> 0:38:18.680
<v Speaker 2>release and also being able to send those healing things

0:38:18.680 --> 0:38:21.319
<v Speaker 2>obviously like aut wards of affirmation and manifesting and I

0:38:21.360 --> 0:38:23.359
<v Speaker 2>believe in all those things, but being able to send

0:38:23.400 --> 0:38:25.160
<v Speaker 2>those to people, send that to people and to the

0:38:25.160 --> 0:38:28.600
<v Speaker 2>people that you love is so healing for yourself, for yourself,

0:38:29.120 --> 0:38:31.920
<v Speaker 2>because really it's not about like saying that what you

0:38:32.000 --> 0:38:35.439
<v Speaker 2>do is okay. It's trying to make sure that that.

0:38:35.719 --> 0:38:40.120
<v Speaker 4>You're okay, I'm okay, I'm not no, I'm not condoning

0:38:40.120 --> 0:38:42.400
<v Speaker 4>what you did, but I'm not going to let it

0:38:42.440 --> 0:38:45.759
<v Speaker 4>overtake me and because it will. You know, I don't

0:38:45.800 --> 0:38:48.439
<v Speaker 4>believe in revenge. I don't believe in getting people back.

0:38:48.480 --> 0:38:50.680
<v Speaker 4>I just believe in you know, blowing up.

0:38:50.880 --> 0:38:53.080
<v Speaker 2>I believe in love, and like, if you could do that,

0:38:53.160 --> 0:38:55.279
<v Speaker 2>then you can have love for that person, love for

0:38:55.480 --> 0:38:58.279
<v Speaker 2>those feelings, thankfulness for that experience because it's brought you

0:38:58.320 --> 0:39:00.400
<v Speaker 2>to where you are right now. It's like it's just

0:39:00.440 --> 0:39:04.680
<v Speaker 2>gratitude essentially for the experience, no matter how awful it was.

0:39:05.120 --> 0:39:07.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Like I think that that is the.

0:39:07.960 --> 0:39:11.239
<v Speaker 2>Ultimate hopefully, like what you're like, we're all trying to

0:39:11.320 --> 0:39:14.719
<v Speaker 2>like aspire to be because it's really that's hard easier.

0:39:14.400 --> 0:39:14.800
<v Speaker 1>Said than that.

0:39:15.160 --> 0:39:19.640
<v Speaker 4>Absolutely no, And being a tourist, we're very stubborn and very.

0:39:19.560 --> 0:39:26.319
<v Speaker 1>Like we don't forgive. I know, you know we don't.

0:39:26.360 --> 0:39:29.080
<v Speaker 1>We will hold a grudge.

0:39:30.960 --> 0:39:33.840
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, I'm so obsessed with like a kitten

0:39:34.000 --> 0:39:37.200
<v Speaker 3>because I get to order whatever I want each month

0:39:37.239 --> 0:39:39.000
<v Speaker 3>and it comes in the mail. It's discreet. I don't

0:39:39.000 --> 0:39:41.839
<v Speaker 3>have to waste time driving in traffic, parking and having

0:39:41.840 --> 0:39:43.839
<v Speaker 3>to choose from millions of things. It's like I get

0:39:43.840 --> 0:39:48.040
<v Speaker 3>a little secret sexy box and it's only sixty nine dollars.

0:39:48.320 --> 0:39:51.080
<v Speaker 2>I know, I got the cutest vibrator and these sexy

0:39:51.120 --> 0:39:54.480
<v Speaker 2>silky handcuffs, Like I've been secretly wanting them, but I

0:39:54.520 --> 0:39:56.080
<v Speaker 2>was like, when am I ever going to get them?

0:39:56.120 --> 0:39:58.600
<v Speaker 2>Like a Kitten, let you build your own box with

0:39:58.640 --> 0:40:02.440
<v Speaker 2>their byob box And guess what, you guys. This month,

0:40:02.640 --> 0:40:05.160
<v Speaker 2>Like a Kitten is offering our listeners twenty percent off

0:40:05.160 --> 0:40:07.080
<v Speaker 2>and free shipping when you go to Like a Kitten

0:40:07.120 --> 0:40:09.840
<v Speaker 2>dot com slash gmbc.

0:40:10.480 --> 0:40:13.319
<v Speaker 3>Just go to like a kitten dot com slash gmbc

0:40:13.440 --> 0:40:16.400
<v Speaker 3>to get twenty percent off these incredible boxes.

0:40:17.640 --> 0:40:20.200
<v Speaker 2>So podcasting is my therapy. I talk every day to

0:40:20.239 --> 0:40:22.960
<v Speaker 2>you guys every week and it has become my source

0:40:23.000 --> 0:40:27.120
<v Speaker 2>of therapy. Talking out loud is so powerful and that's

0:40:27.120 --> 0:40:29.560
<v Speaker 2>why I'm really excited about this new app. It's called Swell.

0:40:29.760 --> 0:40:31.560
<v Speaker 2>So if you like listening to podcasts and you know

0:40:31.600 --> 0:40:34.000
<v Speaker 2>the power of audio, and you're definitely going to love Swell.

0:40:34.360 --> 0:40:36.600
<v Speaker 2>It's a voice based social platform where you can have

0:40:36.719 --> 0:40:40.359
<v Speaker 2>and host conversations with people all over the world on

0:40:40.400 --> 0:40:40.799
<v Speaker 2>your time.

0:40:40.960 --> 0:40:43.520
<v Speaker 3>Unspell, you can broadcast your voice to ask a question,

0:40:43.719 --> 0:40:45.960
<v Speaker 3>share an opinion, or just tell a funny story and

0:40:46.000 --> 0:40:50.560
<v Speaker 3>connect with a diverse array of people. And let's face it,

0:40:50.719 --> 0:40:55.640
<v Speaker 3>social media has gotten pretty mundane, boring, toxic.

0:40:55.440 --> 0:40:58.680
<v Speaker 2>Toxic, and let's just hear what people sound like so

0:40:58.719 --> 0:41:01.200
<v Speaker 2>we know the intention behind what they're saying. You can

0:41:01.239 --> 0:41:04.320
<v Speaker 2>download the Swell app for free on the App Store

0:41:04.400 --> 0:41:09.160
<v Speaker 2>or play Store or by visiting www Dot Swell dot

0:41:09.280 --> 0:41:11.840
<v Speaker 2>Life Slash podcast.

0:41:14.280 --> 0:41:16.920
<v Speaker 1>Gratitude. I will say, gratitude has got me through.

0:41:17.560 --> 0:41:21.759
<v Speaker 4>I've been homeless, I've been everything you could possibly think

0:41:21.760 --> 0:41:24.200
<v Speaker 4>of that could happen to a human being that has

0:41:24.239 --> 0:41:27.799
<v Speaker 4>happened to me. But my gratitude has literally gotten me

0:41:27.960 --> 0:41:35.239
<v Speaker 4>through with so much grace and I believe favor So again, listeners, gratitude,

0:41:35.280 --> 0:41:38.120
<v Speaker 4>that is it that will get you through your toughest time.

0:41:38.280 --> 0:41:42.279
<v Speaker 4>Just being grateful for you know, this present moment, not

0:41:42.800 --> 0:41:45.960
<v Speaker 4>again anxiousness as you're worrying about tomorrow. So staying in

0:41:46.000 --> 0:41:48.520
<v Speaker 4>this present moment and just being grateful for your breath

0:41:48.560 --> 0:41:52.760
<v Speaker 4>that you have. Get outside, get grounded and be thankful

0:41:52.920 --> 0:41:55.919
<v Speaker 4>for the tree. Anything you see a squirrel running back,

0:41:56.160 --> 0:41:57.960
<v Speaker 4>but a beautiful candlelight.

0:41:58.080 --> 0:42:00.279
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying. Just being grateful or that

0:42:01.120 --> 0:42:06.759
<v Speaker 1>can help heal you. Amen, I love you, I hope you. Yes,

0:42:06.920 --> 0:42:09.560
<v Speaker 1>I love you. I hope you. I love you. I

0:42:09.560 --> 0:42:13.520
<v Speaker 1>hope you love you. I hope you. Yeah, that's beautiful.

0:42:13.520 --> 0:42:16.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to adopt that to my list of informations.

0:42:16.920 --> 0:42:20.239
<v Speaker 2>I'm so intrigued by your journey too, so being you

0:42:20.239 --> 0:42:22.680
<v Speaker 2>said you were homeless ones and now you have so

0:42:22.800 --> 0:42:26.080
<v Speaker 2>many successful brands, Like, can you just I guess.

0:42:25.880 --> 0:42:29.960
<v Speaker 1>I was like, can you walk us through every year

0:42:31.520 --> 0:42:35.000
<v Speaker 1>you give us? Yeah? I mean so after my son

0:42:35.160 --> 0:42:35.560
<v Speaker 1>was born.

0:42:35.640 --> 0:42:37.080
<v Speaker 4>You know when I told you I was younger and

0:42:37.080 --> 0:42:39.400
<v Speaker 4>he made me quit my job, I was broke, like

0:42:39.440 --> 0:42:42.000
<v Speaker 4>and I had never I've always been a hustler in

0:42:42.080 --> 0:42:42.600
<v Speaker 4>my whole life.

0:42:42.640 --> 0:42:44.040
<v Speaker 1>I had jobs, you know.

0:42:44.440 --> 0:42:46.919
<v Speaker 4>From the time I had a job at Togo's, which

0:42:46.960 --> 0:42:48.799
<v Speaker 4>is a sandwich place like subway, just so I could

0:42:48.800 --> 0:42:51.280
<v Speaker 4>get a pager, so I could get a cell phone.

0:42:51.680 --> 0:42:53.360
<v Speaker 4>I worked at foot Action so I could buy my

0:42:53.480 --> 0:42:56.600
<v Speaker 4>I've always just been a hustler. But when I got

0:42:56.600 --> 0:42:58.719
<v Speaker 4>with him and he didn't want me to work, I

0:42:58.800 --> 0:43:02.440
<v Speaker 4>quit everything. So when I left him because he was abusive,

0:43:03.000 --> 0:43:05.960
<v Speaker 4>I had nothing like literally, and they do that, they

0:43:06.000 --> 0:43:07.160
<v Speaker 4>do that on purpose.

0:43:06.800 --> 0:43:08.560
<v Speaker 1>So that you feel like you have to stay.

0:43:09.120 --> 0:43:12.400
<v Speaker 4>But I also decided that I would never again depend

0:43:12.480 --> 0:43:16.320
<v Speaker 4>on somebody else. Right, So I had like three jobs,

0:43:16.440 --> 0:43:19.080
<v Speaker 4>and you know, I've been songwriting for a while and

0:43:19.160 --> 0:43:21.680
<v Speaker 4>I was literally a starving artist. I was working with

0:43:21.719 --> 0:43:24.880
<v Speaker 4>people like Eminem and Doctor Dre and all these like

0:43:25.120 --> 0:43:28.000
<v Speaker 4>huge people, and I was still broke, and it was

0:43:28.120 --> 0:43:31.799
<v Speaker 4>just like, what the hell started writing for myself when

0:43:31.840 --> 0:43:35.560
<v Speaker 4>on tour? I did not really like tour. So when

0:43:35.600 --> 0:43:39.360
<v Speaker 4>I got home from tour, I decided to start my

0:43:39.440 --> 0:43:42.320
<v Speaker 4>business and I invested my last five thousand dollars.

0:43:43.000 --> 0:43:45.120
<v Speaker 1>And mind you, it.

0:43:45.080 --> 0:43:49.000
<v Speaker 4>Was Christmas time. I had two kids, and I didn't

0:43:49.080 --> 0:43:52.280
<v Speaker 4>know it was gonna do what it did. I really didn't.

0:43:52.440 --> 0:43:54.160
<v Speaker 4>But that's the way, that's what I'm saying, when you

0:43:54.200 --> 0:43:57.239
<v Speaker 4>have gratitude and when you listen to the universe, like.

0:43:57.920 --> 0:44:00.120
<v Speaker 1>I made money that week. People don't make money.

0:44:00.120 --> 0:44:02.719
<v Speaker 4>The first five years of their business. And I made

0:44:02.719 --> 0:44:06.000
<v Speaker 4>money the first day. And I just kept flipping it

0:44:06.080 --> 0:44:08.320
<v Speaker 4>and flipping it and flipping it. And that's what I've

0:44:08.440 --> 0:44:12.120
<v Speaker 4>just been doing ever since. This is the anniversary of

0:44:12.120 --> 0:44:17.240
<v Speaker 4>your baby, of your other baby. Ye wow, so beful wow.

0:44:18.160 --> 0:44:23.640
<v Speaker 1>So Christmas five years, what was their first product, that's crazy.

0:44:24.800 --> 0:44:28.759
<v Speaker 4>So my first product was a scalp beverage, and I

0:44:28.880 --> 0:44:31.839
<v Speaker 4>was trying to grow my Oh my god. So when

0:44:31.840 --> 0:44:34.439
<v Speaker 4>you get weaves, like there's this thing that happens where

0:44:34.440 --> 0:44:37.080
<v Speaker 4>your hair breaks off. You're like traction alopecia, which is

0:44:37.120 --> 0:44:40.680
<v Speaker 4>like bald spots. And so I had that from wearing

0:44:40.680 --> 0:44:42.880
<v Speaker 4>like weaves and wigs on tour, and I was trying

0:44:42.880 --> 0:44:45.359
<v Speaker 4>to find something to grow it back really fast. And

0:44:45.400 --> 0:44:48.919
<v Speaker 4>so I just concocted it for myself and people were like, grow,

0:44:49.800 --> 0:44:51.960
<v Speaker 4>what are you using on your hair? I was like, oh,

0:44:52.239 --> 0:44:53.520
<v Speaker 4>something under my sink.

0:44:55.280 --> 0:44:55.680
<v Speaker 1>Made it.

0:44:55.719 --> 0:44:58.160
<v Speaker 4>You know, my first few months in business, I was

0:44:58.160 --> 0:45:02.040
<v Speaker 4>literally cooking just in my apartment, in my kitchen.

0:45:03.120 --> 0:45:06.239
<v Speaker 1>And how did you know what to put together? Was

0:45:06.280 --> 0:45:09.480
<v Speaker 1>it just through trial and error? Like it's a lot of.

0:45:09.440 --> 0:45:12.520
<v Speaker 4>Research, a lot of research, a lot of figuring out

0:45:13.000 --> 0:45:14.960
<v Speaker 4>what I knew what I didn't want.

0:45:15.400 --> 0:45:18.160
<v Speaker 1>I knew I didn't want anything toxic. I knew that,

0:45:18.960 --> 0:45:20.120
<v Speaker 1>you know a lot.

0:45:20.200 --> 0:45:23.000
<v Speaker 4>See what a lot of companies don't realize with hair

0:45:23.160 --> 0:45:25.040
<v Speaker 4>is like they they kind of do a one size

0:45:25.040 --> 0:45:28.080
<v Speaker 4>fits all and so for me, I wanted to cater

0:45:28.200 --> 0:45:31.640
<v Speaker 4>to texture and hair porosity because those things are very

0:45:31.680 --> 0:45:37.640
<v Speaker 4>important when it comes to formulation. So that and I

0:45:37.680 --> 0:45:39.759
<v Speaker 4>also saw a lot of things that were claiming to

0:45:39.800 --> 0:45:42.400
<v Speaker 4>be organic and natural and I read the labels and

0:45:42.440 --> 0:45:42.880
<v Speaker 4>they were not.

0:45:44.040 --> 0:45:45.920
<v Speaker 1>So I was like, no, no, want to be like that.

0:45:46.040 --> 0:45:48.719
<v Speaker 1>I want to you know, step it up. So I

0:45:48.719 --> 0:45:50.800
<v Speaker 1>think that's what I think. That's what set me apart.

0:45:50.840 --> 0:45:53.360
<v Speaker 1>Like the intention was not to make money.

0:45:53.400 --> 0:45:56.840
<v Speaker 4>The intention was to solve a problem, come up with

0:45:56.840 --> 0:45:58.280
<v Speaker 4>a solution, and help people.

0:45:59.040 --> 0:46:01.719
<v Speaker 1>And so people, you know, people are funny out here,

0:46:01.719 --> 0:46:02.560
<v Speaker 1>They're like, what do you do?

0:46:03.160 --> 0:46:06.120
<v Speaker 4>And I don't feel like I help people, Like I literally,

0:46:06.600 --> 0:46:10.440
<v Speaker 4>whether it's my music, whether it's you know, my mentorship,

0:46:10.840 --> 0:46:12.000
<v Speaker 4>whether it's the hair care.

0:46:12.280 --> 0:46:15.400
<v Speaker 1>Like that is the goal is to like help you

0:46:15.560 --> 0:46:17.440
<v Speaker 1>be fat, Like I just want you to be fired.

0:46:17.680 --> 0:46:20.520
<v Speaker 4>Like I feel like if everyone feels like they're fire,

0:46:20.600 --> 0:46:23.759
<v Speaker 4>they'll stop hating on everyone else. The world will be

0:46:23.800 --> 0:46:27.080
<v Speaker 4>a better place, yes, because everything is like rooted in

0:46:27.120 --> 0:46:28.600
<v Speaker 4>like jealousy and brokenness.

0:46:28.600 --> 0:46:30.759
<v Speaker 1>And if we can just know, just get back to

0:46:30.800 --> 0:46:32.720
<v Speaker 1>the individuality and loving people.

0:46:33.360 --> 0:46:37.160
<v Speaker 4>You love your face, love your body, like, get your

0:46:37.440 --> 0:46:40.080
<v Speaker 4>health together, get your mental health together, like we can

0:46:40.200 --> 0:46:40.759
<v Speaker 4>all get it.

0:46:40.840 --> 0:46:43.560
<v Speaker 1>There's enough for all of us. Yeah, so true.

0:46:44.080 --> 0:46:46.719
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, if you love yourself, there's like little room to

0:46:46.960 --> 0:46:49.400
<v Speaker 3>like projectate in any former fashion.

0:46:49.520 --> 0:46:49.840
<v Speaker 1>Yes.

0:46:50.360 --> 0:46:53.799
<v Speaker 2>And I think when you are like your purpose is

0:46:53.880 --> 0:46:56.719
<v Speaker 2>solving things and but also contributing to the world in

0:46:56.719 --> 0:47:01.480
<v Speaker 2>a way, you become blessed, Like become blessed, you become aligned.

0:47:01.560 --> 0:47:03.960
<v Speaker 2>Like I've watched how our business and our purpose has

0:47:04.040 --> 0:47:08.120
<v Speaker 2>manifested and how enriched it's made other people feel and

0:47:08.239 --> 0:47:09.880
<v Speaker 2>in turn enriched me.

0:47:10.160 --> 0:47:13.320
<v Speaker 1>Yes, you know what I mean, and like what a blessing. Yeah,

0:47:13.440 --> 0:47:15.080
<v Speaker 1>and it won't get taken away from you.

0:47:15.160 --> 0:47:17.359
<v Speaker 4>I've had a lot of people try to like hate

0:47:17.440 --> 0:47:19.799
<v Speaker 4>on I'm like, you can't take from me what you

0:47:19.840 --> 0:47:22.920
<v Speaker 4>didn't give me, Right, this is from you know what

0:47:23.000 --> 0:47:23.480
<v Speaker 4>I'm saying.

0:47:23.760 --> 0:47:25.160
<v Speaker 1>This is from you can't.

0:47:25.400 --> 0:47:28.439
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, your little snaky stuff isn't it doesn't work here.

0:47:28.719 --> 0:47:32.520
<v Speaker 4>So yeah, when you have that intention in your creation,

0:47:32.719 --> 0:47:36.239
<v Speaker 4>it just it's it's gonna last. It's infinite, Like it's

0:47:36.360 --> 0:47:40.359
<v Speaker 4>literally going to outlast you. So even when we're gone,

0:47:40.400 --> 0:47:41.399
<v Speaker 4>it's still going to be here.

0:47:43.440 --> 0:47:46.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, No, it it is. You're protected, Yeah, protected and

0:47:46.760 --> 0:47:49.520
<v Speaker 1>how they feel because you're answering to the universe. When college,

0:47:49.560 --> 0:47:50.560
<v Speaker 1>you're like I'm gonna do this.

0:47:50.960 --> 0:47:52.719
<v Speaker 3>And when you don't question it and you just do

0:47:53.040 --> 0:47:55.719
<v Speaker 3>all the other shit that we you know, it will

0:47:55.800 --> 0:47:58.000
<v Speaker 3>start to like to show you like this is right,

0:47:58.160 --> 0:48:00.600
<v Speaker 3>this is exactly where you're supposed to be and manifest

0:48:00.680 --> 0:48:01.000
<v Speaker 3>in that way.

0:48:01.040 --> 0:48:02.800
<v Speaker 1>Because that's why you can't put that make it no

0:48:02.920 --> 0:48:06.920
<v Speaker 1>more right. You got to stop it. You're protective, you

0:48:07.000 --> 0:48:10.279
<v Speaker 1>know what I'm saying. Like, when you're tied to something greater,

0:48:10.520 --> 0:48:13.399
<v Speaker 1>it can't be held down. All that little stuff has

0:48:13.520 --> 0:48:16.440
<v Speaker 1>to go the sacrifice. You got to cut that shit.

0:48:16.640 --> 0:48:19.680
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and that's why it's always so quick, and that's

0:48:19.719 --> 0:48:24.160
<v Speaker 4>why it's always so intense because if it was just

0:48:24.239 --> 0:48:26.120
<v Speaker 4>like a little tap on the shoulder, we're not going

0:48:26.200 --> 0:48:26.560
<v Speaker 4>to hear it.

0:48:27.360 --> 0:48:29.239
<v Speaker 1>But when it's shaking you up, like you have to

0:48:29.360 --> 0:48:32.640
<v Speaker 1>hear it. So that's when you know, like you have

0:48:32.719 --> 0:48:36.520
<v Speaker 1>a calling on your life. When stuff is so extreme. Yeah,

0:48:36.560 --> 0:48:37.239
<v Speaker 1>like you can't deny.

0:48:37.360 --> 0:48:39.239
<v Speaker 3>Like you literally put out a product in that week

0:48:39.520 --> 0:48:42.440
<v Speaker 3>you're like, oh okay, shit, and you know like that one,

0:48:42.680 --> 0:48:46.120
<v Speaker 3>that one thing, it keeps propelling you floword like damn,

0:48:46.200 --> 0:48:48.600
<v Speaker 3>I didn't even I spoke this and it came because

0:48:48.600 --> 0:48:49.480
<v Speaker 3>it's intentional.

0:48:49.920 --> 0:48:52.960
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, through the pandemic through I mean literally everything. We

0:48:53.080 --> 0:48:56.839
<v Speaker 4>made more money last year than you know, we did

0:48:57.040 --> 0:49:00.200
<v Speaker 4>in all the years that we were you know, open.

0:49:00.320 --> 0:49:02.960
<v Speaker 2>People are home, yeah, taking care of themselves. Yeah, I

0:49:03.000 --> 0:49:06.279
<v Speaker 2>mean they're the pandemic wellness was. And then hair care

0:49:06.360 --> 0:49:09.719
<v Speaker 2>is part of wellness. People are spending time growing their hair,

0:49:10.160 --> 0:49:12.200
<v Speaker 2>cutting their hair, all types of their hair.

0:49:12.320 --> 0:49:14.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I was doing lots. I had a lot of time.

0:49:15.160 --> 0:49:20.000
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah that I mean we have now we have

0:49:20.160 --> 0:49:24.320
<v Speaker 4>wellness stuff. So just like supplements. I created a supplement

0:49:24.480 --> 0:49:29.680
<v Speaker 4>for anxiety, depression, insomnia, I created a supplement for your lungs,

0:49:30.440 --> 0:49:34.160
<v Speaker 4>so many different things that just like you know, I

0:49:34.280 --> 0:49:36.680
<v Speaker 4>really I created it because I was going through stuff

0:49:36.880 --> 0:49:38.400
<v Speaker 4>and I'm like, Okay, what am I going to do

0:49:38.480 --> 0:49:39.360
<v Speaker 4>to fix this for me?

0:49:40.040 --> 0:49:42.319
<v Speaker 1>Oh, it's helped me. This can help, you know, right,

0:49:42.760 --> 0:49:46.080
<v Speaker 1>So and it's exciting to share that, right, like look,

0:49:46.200 --> 0:49:48.560
<v Speaker 1>try this it works, right, yes, and like waiting for

0:49:48.640 --> 0:49:51.640
<v Speaker 1>those results and then oh my god, it works. I'm

0:49:51.719 --> 0:49:54.759
<v Speaker 1>like this this is what makes it so like what

0:49:55.280 --> 0:49:57.680
<v Speaker 1>like you know, it just feels so good when I'm like,

0:49:57.760 --> 0:49:58.839
<v Speaker 1>you changed.

0:49:58.520 --> 0:50:03.560
<v Speaker 3>My life, Like it's awesome, right, yes, just answering the call,

0:50:03.760 --> 0:50:05.439
<v Speaker 3>You're like let me look some shit up in my kitchen.

0:50:05.640 --> 0:50:08.919
<v Speaker 1>Where's yeah, like changing lines for real. I've had people

0:50:09.000 --> 0:50:12.320
<v Speaker 1>walk up to me and whole foods like here's your stuff,

0:50:12.480 --> 0:50:15.680
<v Speaker 1>Like this is really you. I'm like, oh my god,

0:50:15.800 --> 0:50:18.200
<v Speaker 1>it's so great. That's so cool that your kids get

0:50:18.239 --> 0:50:18.759
<v Speaker 1>to see that too.

0:50:18.840 --> 0:50:19.839
<v Speaker 3>Oh man, you know what I mean.

0:50:19.960 --> 0:50:22.480
<v Speaker 2>You can see their mom shine and like be successful

0:50:22.520 --> 0:50:25.360
<v Speaker 2>and know that, like because I know, being an entrepreneur,

0:50:25.440 --> 0:50:27.839
<v Speaker 2>you are away from your kids. Like it is hard,

0:50:27.920 --> 0:50:31.439
<v Speaker 2>there's no, it's difficult to balance. There is so much

0:50:31.520 --> 0:50:34.160
<v Speaker 2>more imbalance than there is balance, at least in the beginning.

0:50:34.480 --> 0:50:37.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and you can't turn it off. It's not you know.

0:50:37.200 --> 0:50:39.600
<v Speaker 4>I always tell people like nine to five, you get

0:50:39.640 --> 0:50:42.000
<v Speaker 4>your weekends, you get like I don't get any of that.

0:50:42.120 --> 0:50:44.480
<v Speaker 4>It's seven days a week from the time I wake

0:50:44.560 --> 0:50:47.560
<v Speaker 4>up to the time I go to sleep. So you know,

0:50:48.080 --> 0:50:51.520
<v Speaker 4>it's definitely something that you have. It's a baby too.

0:50:51.960 --> 0:50:54.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, even if you're not working on it, you're thinking

0:50:54.960 --> 0:50:57.879
<v Speaker 2>about it all the time, you know. And so yeah,

0:50:58.040 --> 0:51:01.799
<v Speaker 2>like you're thinking about it, and it's like it's always there.

0:51:02.080 --> 0:51:04.799
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, It's always there. Yeah, And that's good.

0:51:04.920 --> 0:51:07.480
<v Speaker 2>And that's and that's like that part has given me

0:51:07.520 --> 0:51:09.239
<v Speaker 2>a lot of anxiety in the past, but when I

0:51:09.280 --> 0:51:13.000
<v Speaker 2>started being like no this and having gratitude yeah, and

0:51:13.120 --> 0:51:17.080
<v Speaker 2>then like learning to release Okay, yes, you don't have

0:51:17.200 --> 0:51:18.880
<v Speaker 2>to get that done though right now.

0:51:19.200 --> 0:51:21.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, it's teaches, it's yeah, it's definitely.

0:51:21.960 --> 0:51:25.320
<v Speaker 4>I'm trying to learn to relinquish like the controlling aspect

0:51:25.400 --> 0:51:26.760
<v Speaker 4>of it, because it is the unknown.

0:51:26.800 --> 0:51:30.200
<v Speaker 1>You don't know. You know, you don't know what's sale.

0:51:30.239 --> 0:51:32.239
<v Speaker 1>We're going to be tomorrow, like you don't any at

0:51:32.280 --> 0:51:33.080
<v Speaker 1>any time, right.

0:51:33.200 --> 0:51:35.879
<v Speaker 4>But it's the same with if you have a job too,

0:51:35.960 --> 0:51:38.160
<v Speaker 4>you don't know if they'll So we just have to

0:51:38.239 --> 0:51:40.239
<v Speaker 4>learn to relinquish that control and have.

0:51:41.719 --> 0:51:48.120
<v Speaker 1>Gratum. I have a very big feeling that Christmas is

0:51:48.200 --> 0:51:51.719
<v Speaker 1>going to hit hard for you again in celebration of

0:51:51.960 --> 0:51:56.520
<v Speaker 1>the anniversary. Yes, and I need to get some of this,

0:51:56.719 --> 0:51:57.759
<v Speaker 1>but I need to get through this.

0:51:57.920 --> 0:52:01.720
<v Speaker 2>In this hair, we have a purple shampoo for that blonde,

0:52:02.080 --> 0:52:04.479
<v Speaker 2>thank you. I haven't used purple shampoo. I was literally

0:52:04.600 --> 0:52:06.880
<v Speaker 2>thinking about that yesterday. I was like, am I supposed

0:52:06.920 --> 0:52:09.359
<v Speaker 2>to be like putting some other ship in my hair?

0:52:09.640 --> 0:52:10.160
<v Speaker 1>It's blonde?

0:52:10.480 --> 0:52:10.560
<v Speaker 4>Ye?

0:52:11.080 --> 0:52:12.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm so.

0:52:12.719 --> 0:52:15.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm not educated, but my girl didn't hit me on

0:52:15.440 --> 0:52:17.920
<v Speaker 2>game at all, just bleached my hair aftercare.

0:52:19.719 --> 0:52:21.279
<v Speaker 1>I got you girl, Thank you, thank you.

0:52:23.040 --> 0:52:23.279
<v Speaker 3>Well.

0:52:24.200 --> 0:52:27.719
<v Speaker 1>I really enjoyed this conversation. Thank you for blessing us

0:52:27.840 --> 0:52:31.080
<v Speaker 1>with just so many gems and sharing your story with us.

0:52:31.800 --> 0:52:34.160
<v Speaker 1>Where can our people find you? You can find me

0:52:34.239 --> 0:52:38.319
<v Speaker 1>at ca Cola, on Twitter and on Instagram. I'm trying

0:52:38.320 --> 0:52:40.200
<v Speaker 1>to get my TikTok up. I don't know. It's tough.

0:52:44.080 --> 0:52:44.359
<v Speaker 1>Is tough.

0:52:44.440 --> 0:52:52.120
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, dude, I missed the wave like Luhouse man,

0:52:52.280 --> 0:52:52.560
<v Speaker 4>I was.

0:52:52.600 --> 0:52:55.000
<v Speaker 1>Like, oh, I was a clubhouse queen. I don't. I

0:52:55.040 --> 0:52:57.719
<v Speaker 1>don't go on clubhouse anymore at all, but I have

0:52:57.840 --> 0:53:00.799
<v Speaker 1>fun on clubhouse. Is tough. I'm trying.

0:53:00.840 --> 0:53:00.920
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:53:00.960 --> 0:53:02.879
<v Speaker 4>What I'm trying to do is with TikTok Now. It's

0:53:02.960 --> 0:53:06.920
<v Speaker 4>kind of like offer up and stuff like from mental health.

0:53:07.160 --> 0:53:09.320
<v Speaker 4>You know, I'm not I'm not a d answer guys

0:53:09.440 --> 0:53:12.440
<v Speaker 4>like like I do a little two step, but I'm

0:53:12.480 --> 0:53:15.360
<v Speaker 4>not going to be you know so. But yeah, you

0:53:15.400 --> 0:53:17.719
<v Speaker 4>guys can find me on those socials. I'm on Facebook too,

0:53:18.080 --> 0:53:19.440
<v Speaker 4>and then follow my businesses.

0:53:19.480 --> 0:53:21.799
<v Speaker 2>They're in the link in my bio and we'll link

0:53:21.840 --> 0:53:24.920
<v Speaker 2>everything in the episode description so they can find you easily.

0:53:25.800 --> 0:53:30.320
<v Speaker 1>And y'all we're so close to the retreat. I know

0:53:30.680 --> 0:53:33.680
<v Speaker 1>it's almost that time. We're like like good six weeks

0:53:33.719 --> 0:53:38.400
<v Speaker 1>issuway yeah, so excited. I know Costa Rica we've been to.

0:53:38.840 --> 0:53:41.920
<v Speaker 1>Oh no, but right here it's beautiful. We might have

0:53:42.000 --> 0:53:43.960
<v Speaker 1>to come to come to the retreat. We're doing at

0:53:44.080 --> 0:53:45.800
<v Speaker 1>Women's Retreating Costa Rica. I love that.

0:53:45.920 --> 0:53:51.080
<v Speaker 2>When is that January thirty first fifth? And then we

0:53:51.120 --> 0:53:52.960
<v Speaker 2>have we have two and then there's another one the

0:53:53.480 --> 0:53:57.239
<v Speaker 2>sixth through the eleventh. Okay there Yeah, it's the Caribean science.

0:53:57.560 --> 0:54:04.040
<v Speaker 2>We got security though, right because it's the Dockers. It's

0:54:04.239 --> 0:54:06.879
<v Speaker 2>very you hold up here by yourself. Where the fuck

0:54:07.000 --> 0:54:11.000
<v Speaker 2>is your security right now? Bitch in Alabama? What do

0:54:11.040 --> 0:54:13.200
<v Speaker 2>you need to have in Alabama?

0:54:13.239 --> 0:54:15.400
<v Speaker 3>They're gonna be a coast to Rika Caribbeans and they

0:54:15.520 --> 0:54:16.920
<v Speaker 3>need to be in Alabama.

0:54:18.160 --> 0:54:20.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, oh my god.

0:54:20.880 --> 0:54:25.120
<v Speaker 4>We'll get security. I normally do have security or you know,

0:54:25.280 --> 0:54:28.160
<v Speaker 4>carries the Okay, yes, I'm a tactic.

0:54:31.719 --> 0:54:36.480
<v Speaker 1>That's important. What Yes, absolutely, I need to be better.

0:54:36.520 --> 0:54:38.719
<v Speaker 1>I need to do I know, we just kidding. I'm ready,

0:54:38.880 --> 0:54:42.840
<v Speaker 1>don't ever come all right, hello, in my purse, I

0:54:42.920 --> 0:54:43.600
<v Speaker 1>have something for you.

0:54:46.600 --> 0:54:48.759
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god. Anyway, you guys want to find us

0:54:48.960 --> 0:54:51.920
<v Speaker 2>Good Mom's Bad Choices on all podcast platforms, follow us

0:54:51.960 --> 0:54:52.600
<v Speaker 2>on Instagram.

0:54:53.239 --> 0:54:56.640
<v Speaker 1>We're tiktoking sort of too. We're trying to TikTok get

0:54:56.719 --> 0:54:59.279
<v Speaker 1>over there. Yea, hopefully we're tiktoking lives.

0:54:59.320 --> 0:55:02.760
<v Speaker 2>It's good Moms Choice because yeah, the s wasn't available

0:55:04.239 --> 0:55:05.239
<v Speaker 2>and follows some.

0:55:05.280 --> 0:55:08.399
<v Speaker 1>Patreon and get bumps content and all that other ship

0:55:08.640 --> 0:55:13.000
<v Speaker 1>great and review this episode. Please go now, all thousands

0:55:13.040 --> 0:55:15.640
<v Speaker 1>of you go do it. Why don't we have more reviews?

0:55:15.719 --> 0:55:18.600
<v Speaker 3>I love you, I love you, but don't just sit there,

0:55:19.160 --> 0:55:20.839
<v Speaker 3>scroll to the bottom and write the fucking video.

0:55:20.960 --> 0:55:25.120
<v Speaker 1>Thanks right now, right now, thank you, right nice and

0:55:26.280 --> 0:55:33.200
<v Speaker 1>solo record la. Then let's stay us Ranza