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Speaker 1: We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This

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Speaker 1: is How Men Think and I heard radio podcast. Hi.

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Speaker 1: This is Paris Hilton, and I'm excited to tell you

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Speaker 1: that I'm executive producing the new and improved How Men

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Speaker 1: Think podcast. How Men Think was always about helping women

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Speaker 1: understand the things that men say and do, all of

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Speaker 1: it relationships, dating, marriage, divorce, breakups, hookups, love, sex, family,

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Speaker 1: and fatherhood. But when I agreed to do this reboot,

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Speaker 1: I had a few conditions. No sugarcoating, no mind games,

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Speaker 1: and absolutely no man splaining. Men are hard enough to

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Speaker 1: understand without the mind games. To be honest, I'm not

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Speaker 1: even convinced that they understand themselves, but the How Men

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Speaker 1: Think podcast is exactly what we need to figure them out.

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Speaker 1: It's going to be fun, informative, and probably a bit

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Speaker 1: scary at times because we're literally going inside the minds

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Speaker 1: of men. Buckle up, check out the How Men Think

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Speaker 1: Podcast on I Heart Radio and everywhere you listen to podcasts.

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Speaker 1: Hey what's up, y'all? I'm Jimmy Allen. Some of you

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Speaker 1: might know me as a singer songwriter, uh or someone

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Speaker 1: you're tired of hearing on the radio. Either way, I'm me.

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Speaker 1: I'm here and I'm happy to be guest hosting How

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Speaker 1: men think? So we're gonna answer all your questions and

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Speaker 1: solve some of your fascinating questions that you've probably been

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Speaker 1: sitting on for a while and kind of wanted to yourself.

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Speaker 1: What do you men think? How do you men think?

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Speaker 1: But I'll tell you what before we jump into all that,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna jump into eleven questions kind of about myself

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Speaker 1: as shucks. So before we jump into that, We're gonna

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Speaker 1: go into eleven questions, and I'll tell a little bit

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Speaker 1: about me that way, hopefully you feel a lot more comfortable.

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Speaker 1: We can get on here and have good time and

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Speaker 1: I can answer some of your questions. Okay, So here

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Speaker 1: we go. This is eleven Questions with Jimmy Allen. What

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Speaker 1: are you known for? Tell us about yourself? Well, I

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Speaker 1: I probably known for, you know, being a country music

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Speaker 1: artist recently. Probably it's a lot of people know me

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Speaker 1: from Dance with the Star of Season thirty, which is

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Speaker 1: being great by the way. That's me. You know. I

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Speaker 1: grew up in this town called Milton, Delaware with my father,

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Speaker 1: my mother, my siblings, grow listen to country music, rock music.

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Speaker 1: You know, Christie music, R and B, hip hop everything. Um,

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Speaker 1: this small town guy. You know, I love fishing. I

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Speaker 1: love hanging out at the Mooselage, you know, drinking beers

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Speaker 1: and playing cards with my family. Who are you in

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Speaker 1: your personal life? Yeah? In my personal life, I'm sure

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Speaker 1: my wife would say I am the kind of opposite

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Speaker 1: of who I am on stage on television. Um, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I'm a lot more chill at home, you know,

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Speaker 1: probably because I spend so much energy at work. I'm

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Speaker 1: a lot I'm sure my wife would like me be

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Speaker 1: a lot more energetic at home because I give it

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Speaker 1: to the world, gives to everybody else. But times at home,

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Speaker 1: I just love watching TV. Uh. You know. I love

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Speaker 1: being with my wife and you know, saying stuff and

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Speaker 1: laughing with her and crying with her doing we're TV

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Speaker 1: shows because we watched a lot of TV out of movies. Um.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, that's kind of me in my personal life.

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Speaker 1: I love Disney World. I'm pretty simple for the most part.

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Speaker 1: Tell us three shows you're binge watching right now? Three

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Speaker 1: shows I'm binge watching? Uh, Succession, Um, that's my bench watched. Oh,

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Speaker 1: Lock and Key just came out. Oh and you. We

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Speaker 1: were on you, we just finished you. What is your

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Speaker 1: favorite food? I would probably say French toasts. I love

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Speaker 1: breakfast food altogether. Mac and cheese, my grandma's recipe and

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Speaker 1: mac and cheese, Kenny, I love soul food. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: it's not that great for you. You You shouldn't eat it

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Speaker 1: as much as I do, but it's so good. Tell

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Speaker 1: us about your career my career. Um, while I'm touring

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Speaker 1: country artists right now. Um, some people consider me country,

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Speaker 1: some people just consider me an artist. Either way. I

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Speaker 1: get to travel and sing songs I wrote with my friends. Um,

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Speaker 1: so that's for me the best part. Um, don't get

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Speaker 1: into a lot of television now, whether it's hosting or

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Speaker 1: being a contestant on the show like Dance with the Stars,

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Speaker 1: doing that, and you know, just working on a bunch

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Speaker 1: of things I've always wanted to do, all right, And

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Speaker 1: you know with my career, I am a officially children's

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Speaker 1: book Arthur. Right now, I have a book I'll call

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Speaker 1: my Voice as a Trumpet. Um. Two of my biggest

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Speaker 1: highlights in my career, I would say it's one I

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Speaker 1: got to perform with Charlie Pride on the CMA Awards.

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Speaker 1: Charlie Pride is the first black country artist. I sold

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Speaker 1: over sixty million records in the sixties and seventies. Um

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Speaker 1: and working with another musical giant, Elton John. I got

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Speaker 1: to do a song with Elton on his new album

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Speaker 1: called The Lockdown Sessions. We did a song that I

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Speaker 1: co wrote with some people called Beauty the Bones, and

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Speaker 1: I still can't believe those two things happen in career.

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Speaker 1: What's your biggest fear in life? Probably not living up

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Speaker 1: to the expectations I set for myself, whether that be

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Speaker 1: you know who I am as a father, a parent,

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Speaker 1: a musician, And that's probably my biggest fear. Like setting

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Speaker 1: bars for myself and not reaching them. You know, um,

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Speaker 1: letting people down, that's my biggest fear, whether it's my

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Speaker 1: wife or my kids, that's my That's my biggest fear.

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Speaker 1: What's your biggest pet peeve? Lazy people on my biggest

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Speaker 1: pet peeves. There's nothing I hate worse than a lazy person.

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Speaker 1: And I ask whole. I ask whole is someone who

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Speaker 1: asked you questions, You give answers and they do the

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Speaker 1: exact opposite of what you told them to do. You

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Speaker 1: know anyone that makes excuses. I just feel like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: things are hard in life. There's always gonna be obstacles.

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Speaker 1: I don't mean you can't get through them, can't get

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Speaker 1: around them. Um, So yeah, those are probably my biggest

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Speaker 1: pet peeves. What makes you the most happy? I honestly

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Speaker 1: hanging out with my family a Disney World. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: my family is sick a going, but I don't know

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Speaker 1: what it is about that place and being in with

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Speaker 1: my family that really makes me happy. What is your

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Speaker 1: ideal Saturday morning? Ideal Saturday morning falling into the city

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Speaker 1: on a new city on tour, you know, having my

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Speaker 1: family with me, eat bread, let's hang out, you know,

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Speaker 1: doing a couple of beers with my band, playing some

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Speaker 1: corn hole. That's that's great for me. Are you more

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Speaker 1: of the athlete or the armchair quarterback? I think I'm

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Speaker 1: more an athlete for sure. Definitely more of the athlete.

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Speaker 1: I'd rather be out there doing it than sit and

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Speaker 1: watch somebody else do it. Last and not least. What

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Speaker 1: keeps you motivated? I'll say my family keeps are motivated,

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Speaker 1: you know, for for providing for them and in my career.

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Speaker 1: For me. Honestly, everything clicked once I have my son.

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Speaker 1: You know, I realized that my dream didn't change, but

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Speaker 1: my purpose and my reason behind when I was doing changes,

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Speaker 1: because I feel like you see a lot more success.

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Speaker 1: You have a purpose, you know, for what you're doing,

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Speaker 1: and there's a reason behind what you're doing. That was

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Speaker 1: the Eleven Questions with Jimmy Allen. So, y'all, I just

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Speaker 1: answered some questions about myself. Now I'm actually here to

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Speaker 1: answer questions from you. So let's jump into that right now. Hi, Hey,

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Speaker 1: how you doing. I'm good. My name is a Lissa.

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Speaker 1: How are you hello? Listen, my name is Jimmy. Hello. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So my question is why do men always say they're

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Speaker 1: simple creatures but we can never figure them out? Well,

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Speaker 1: honestly we are. The thing is, see, man, if you

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Speaker 1: ask us a question, whatever we say, that's what we mean.

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Speaker 1: And what I've learned is women like to look for

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Speaker 1: meanings within our answer. There's no more meanings. That's it.

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Speaker 1: So if you ask us, sir, for instance, you know,

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Speaker 1: one of the most famous ones is if a woman

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Speaker 1: says does this dress make me look back right? And

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Speaker 1: say the guy says, yes, it does. What we're saying

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Speaker 1: is we're not saying you're back. We're saying that dress

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Speaker 1: makes you look that way. And then you know I've

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Speaker 1: said that someone before. So every dress that where it

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Speaker 1: makes me look at No, I didn't say that. I

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Speaker 1: said that. You said does this dress make me look back?

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Speaker 1: And we said, yes, that dressed us guys need three things.

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Speaker 1: We want to watch our sports and not we ask

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Speaker 1: any questions during our sports. That's it. We want. We

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Speaker 1: love to eat, We love time, y'all, and just enjoying

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Speaker 1: it without it meaning anything. If a guy asks you, hey,

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Speaker 1: let's hang out, it's not because we're in trouble trying

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Speaker 1: to get out of trouble. No, we just want to

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Speaker 1: hang out. One thing that men don't like the most

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Speaker 1: is just the thing my wife does it. Hey, babe,

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Speaker 1: we do want to eat tonight? Um, and I'll say something.

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Speaker 1: I'll say, well, what do you want to Oh, it

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Then I mention something I don't want to

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Speaker 1: eat that. What do you just said? It doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: So the thing you, guys, the more straight to the

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Speaker 1: point you are, we understand that when questions and things

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Speaker 1: start getting drawn out, that's when we're just guys. Would

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Speaker 1: rather just tell us what you want we'll do it.

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Speaker 1: M take. Thank you. You're hopping on here. What's up?

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Speaker 1: How are you good? How are you? I'm doing well.

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Speaker 1: Nice to meet you. Nice to meet too, too. I

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Speaker 1: appreciate you hopping on here. Of course I'm excited to

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Speaker 1: ask you my question. Nice, she got so I need

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Speaker 1: to hear a man's perspective about texting in my dating life.

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Speaker 1: I have never understood why men text so short and

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Speaker 1: simple that they don't include emojis like obviously us females do.

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Speaker 1: I just can't get a read on it. Is there

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Speaker 1: any way to figure out a guy has interested you

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Speaker 1: and you by the way he texts, Not really by

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Speaker 1: the way he texts, but if he texts you first.

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Speaker 1: Put it this way. If you text the guy and

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Speaker 1: he responds, it's one thing. But if you don't text

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Speaker 1: a guy for a day or two and he don't

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Speaker 1: text you back, he ain't interested. That's a good point.

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Speaker 1: That's good to know. Okay, guys, if we want something,

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Speaker 1: we go get it. And a lot of times I

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Speaker 1: know you might try to make excuses for him or

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Speaker 1: for yourself, saying well maybe he's busy, he ain't that busy.

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Speaker 1: It takes two seconds to send a text and if

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Speaker 1: he's not even thinking about you, honestly, to send a

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Speaker 1: text because he ain't thinking about you. He because I guarantee, see,

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Speaker 1: guys were different. A lot of times girls will give

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Speaker 1: out their number and not even want to talk to

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Speaker 1: a guy. They just do it to be nice. Guys,

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Speaker 1: we don't ask for girls numbers really if we're not

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Speaker 1: really interested. And if we text you, we're interested. So

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Speaker 1: if you're texting him more than he's texting you not

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Speaker 1: It's not about the length of the text message because

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Speaker 1: a lot of times we're straight to the point. If

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Speaker 1: you're texting him and you hear from him that night

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Speaker 1: or the next day, he ain't interested. Move on over.

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Speaker 1: I love that. That's a good quarter. I'm gonna keep

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Speaker 1: that in mind. Yeah, thank you so well'll careff. There's

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Speaker 1: no emoji or anything anymore emojis. Thank you, You're so welcome.

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Speaker 1: You have a good night, all right? By under pressure? Um,

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Speaker 1: the pressure on the stretch. M Hi, Hey, what's going on?

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Speaker 1: Are you good? How are you doing good? UM? I

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Speaker 1: have a question for you. Right okay, So my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: lives in Miami. I live in California. UM, I know

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Speaker 1: you're on the road. So how do you keep it, like,

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Speaker 1: how do you keep your connection or your relationship close

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Speaker 1: with all that distance. Well, I tell you this, most

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Speaker 1: guys were bad at communication, honest, Like my wife would

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Speaker 1: tell you, I am not the best with communication. But

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Speaker 1: I love my wife, you know what I mean, She's

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Speaker 1: the one I chose to marry, so what I want

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Speaker 1: to be with. But we're not always good at showing

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Speaker 1: a lot of times we're better in person. Um, I

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Speaker 1: would just say, be honest. You know, first of all,

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Speaker 1: I ask him, hey, do you see this going anywhere?

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Speaker 1: Long term? Straight to the point. With guys, is better

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Speaker 1: to ask straight to the point. Don't try to figure

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Speaker 1: out what he's thinking. Just ask him. Right. If you

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Speaker 1: ask a guy that right and he gives you a

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Speaker 1: long drawn out answer longer than three sentence, three sentences

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Speaker 1: typically is full of crap. Because we're very honest, you see,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna wear Yeah, I do boom, that's enough. Um,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know. I would say, just talk to

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Speaker 1: him and tell him what you need, right. And I

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Speaker 1: feel like, here's the things about relationships. It's about finding

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Speaker 1: someone who can give you what you need, and also

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Speaker 1: you give them what they need, and then find someone

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Speaker 1: who gives you what you want and also make sure

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Speaker 1: you can give him what he wants. And I say

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Speaker 1: you have that conversation right now. Just be honest, because

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Speaker 1: the last thing you want to do is waste your time. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: always his time. You know, you could try to make

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Speaker 1: something work that ain't gonna work, and all that's doing

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Speaker 1: is you're wasting time, stopping you from meeting the person

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to be with, and you're stopping him from

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Speaker 1: waste you know, meeting the person that he's supposed to

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Speaker 1: be with. And just know, there's a lot of great

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Speaker 1: people out there, right, but not every great person belongs together.

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Speaker 1: You know, life and relationships are about you living your

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Speaker 1: life and they live in there. And along the way

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Speaker 1: you find someone who's still heading your same trajectory, but

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Speaker 1: your lives and who you are don't don't have to change.

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Speaker 1: And you know the thing about relationships is has to equal,

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Speaker 1: not saying each person has to give a uncent, but

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Speaker 1: as equal, because it might be sometimes where you're gonna

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Speaker 1: give and you have to make sure he's willing to

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Speaker 1: give that other eight invit. So yeah, I say, you

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Speaker 1: have that conversation with him and be honest and if

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Speaker 1: it don't work out, no hard feelings, it just don't

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Speaker 1: work out. That means that's not the person for you.

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Speaker 1: Because I don't really get wrapped up and soul made stuff.

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Speaker 1: I don't really believe in that. I believe in you

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Speaker 1: finding the person who you're willing to deal with their

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Speaker 1: baggage and their bad part because everybody can do well

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Speaker 1: with the good parts of the person. But are you

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Speaker 1: willing to deal with the person's bad habits, deal with

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Speaker 1: their baggage. That's that's when you fain. Okay, I can

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Speaker 1: deal with that. That's how you know you're on the

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Speaker 1: right path to find a person you're supposed to be with.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you for too into love doctor, get that? Okay? Hi,

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Speaker 1: what's up? Hi? My name is Zoe. How are you, Zoe?

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Speaker 1: How are you doing what you're calling from? I'm good.

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Speaker 1: I'm calling from Orange County, California. Orange County, Yeah, I know,

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Speaker 1: we're pretty Orange County. Yeah, I'm in l A right now. Awesome. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's nice to see you. And so my question is,

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Speaker 1: I'm not currently in a relationship, but there's a guy

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Speaker 1: at work who expresses his interest I e buys me food,

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Speaker 1: talk successively to me, fixes things for me for free.

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Speaker 1: But the other day I offered him my number as

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Speaker 1: opposed to talking at work to avoid getting in trouble,

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Speaker 1: and he didn't respond to it. He just kind of

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Speaker 1: avoided it and continued today to just his sweet behavior

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Speaker 1: and like didn't really like and like didn't really like.

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Speaker 1: I think he ignored the question. But I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm confused, Like, do you guys like forwardness? So they're

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Speaker 1: not I'm so confused. So here's the thing about guys.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes they like forwardness. But from what you said, I

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Speaker 1: have two takes on that. Okay, One he likes the

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Speaker 1: floor at work because he's probably in a relationship already somewhere.

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Speaker 1: Or he might not be interested in girls. He probably

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Speaker 1: you know, might like guys and just wants a friend.

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Speaker 1: That's what I was thinking, Oh my god, because I'm like,

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Speaker 1: if he if he's flirting with you and you offer

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Speaker 1: the number and he don't take it, you have relationship

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Speaker 1: or just don't like girls, or maybe he does like girls,

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Speaker 1: but he might want to just keep it as a friend.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like those are the only

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Speaker 1: three answers that you should if do you like him?

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Speaker 1: Do you find him attractives? Yes? I do. But my

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Speaker 1: other answer in my head was he's gay, because I

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Speaker 1: feel like guys who are attractive and nicer they're taking

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Speaker 1: are gay, and that's he's not. My thing is winning doubt.

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Speaker 1: Just asked the question, say, hey, I'm interested. There's nothing

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Speaker 1: wrong with being honest, you know, not wrong being forward.

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Speaker 1: Hey I'm interested in you. Would you like to hang out?

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Speaker 1: Are you interested in me? Yeah? But he said he's single.

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Speaker 1: He's like, oh, I'm single. That's why I buy people's

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Speaker 1: stuff and that's why I'm like, what, Yeah, Then maybe

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Speaker 1: he just enjoys being single and enjoys the game. There's

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Speaker 1: some people that just enjoy the game, you know, they don't.

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Speaker 1: They just enjoyed the hurting, the you know, the interaction

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Speaker 1: at work, and that's kind of where they wanted. So

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Speaker 1: you should ask him, went in dout. That's my that's

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Speaker 1: my answer for everyone. Just asked the question. Try to

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Speaker 1: get an honest answer out of him. That way, you know,

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Speaker 1: you can just figure out from the air and I'll

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Speaker 1: move on. Oh you're so awesome, Thank you so much

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Speaker 1: to me. I appreciate it. I appreciate you calling in

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Speaker 1: a great in whatever this thing is? Yes, God black right,

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Speaker 1: maybe you're my advice. My wife's another and she probably

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Speaker 1: they're like, why why I ask your him? Hey Gabby,

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Speaker 1: how are you doing great? How are you good? What

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Speaker 1: you think and what's on your brain? Um? Well, my question,

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Speaker 1: I guess would be um, boyfriend and I are in

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Speaker 1: just this new relationship and um our schedules are very opposing.

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Speaker 1: So I guess my question is how can we make

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Speaker 1: sure to make time for each other? Because sometimes it

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Speaker 1: feels like you try and plan everything. Maybe it's not

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Speaker 1: as romantic. I guess I would say, see the thing

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Speaker 1: about there's a difference between romance and what you see

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Speaker 1: on television, right, you know what I mean? So I

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Speaker 1: would say, find out what's important to you, right, and

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Speaker 1: whether it's time, whether it's words of affection, whether it's

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Speaker 1: physical touch whatever, and see he didn't give that to you.

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Speaker 1: And also if he's busy and stuff, you have to

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Speaker 1: take in mind, what are you willing to sacrifice until

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Speaker 1: he's able to give you what you want? And I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's the biggest thing I'm all about. You know,

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Speaker 1: have the conversation you might not always agree, you know,

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Speaker 1: but if you feel like that's the person you want

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Speaker 1: to be with and he tells you and shows you

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Speaker 1: he wants to be with you, um, you know, you

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Speaker 1: try to make it work again. Like I you know,

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Speaker 1: I told someone before, relationships are about sometimes he can

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Speaker 1: only give twenty and you gotta give eight. Right now.

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Speaker 1: With my wife and my schedule she's given, I can

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Speaker 1: only give ten. You know. I'm sure it's frustrating for her,

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Speaker 1: but you know she's been great. You know, she's been

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Speaker 1: my rock, holding me down and um to where I'm

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Speaker 1: all over the place traveling, you know, she's been there.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure it's frustrating, but she's still there. And when

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Speaker 1: someone loves you, even though it hurts and it sucks

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Speaker 1: sometimes not seeing them all the time, they're willing to

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Speaker 1: put that work in. So I don't know, it's just

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Speaker 1: a conversation you gotta have with them and be honest,

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Speaker 1: you know, be straight to the point. Tell them what

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Speaker 1: you want, tell them what you need, ask them can

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Speaker 1: you fulfill this? And if you can't, what's stopping you?

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Speaker 1: And how long will what stopping you continue to stop you?

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Speaker 1: And then see if you're willing to do with that. Yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's that's great advice. That's why I'm here.

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Speaker 1: Open conversation. Definitely a way that's an open conversation. And honestly,

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Speaker 1: I feel like the worst thing people do in relationships

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Speaker 1: is not say what they're feeling. They're afraid of offending

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Speaker 1: or hurting somebody else's feelings. It ain't about that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's about you being honest because the last thing you

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Speaker 1: want to do is not say what you're feeling. Then

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Speaker 1: two weeks, two years down the road, during this relationship

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Speaker 1: with you're frustrating not getting everything you want, and the

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Speaker 1: person you're with could have been willing to sacrifice and

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Speaker 1: make it work. But guys, the thing about guys is

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Speaker 1: if you don't know, we don't tell us. If you

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Speaker 1: don't tell us, we don't know. We are not mind readers.

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Speaker 1: We don't try to be mind readers. We are very

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Speaker 1: simple creatures and women are the most complex individuals in

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Speaker 1: the world. So the best you can simplify it for him,

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Speaker 1: the better. All right, Okay, oh yeah, I appreciate you

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Speaker 1: coming on here. Thank you so much. Oh you're welcome.

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Speaker 1: A great night. How you taking easy? All right, we're

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Speaker 1: back from break and Jimmy. A bunch of our listeners

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Speaker 1: have d m us emailed us. Um, don't forget everyone

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Speaker 1: that's listening right now. You can d m U s

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Speaker 1: at how Many Things podcast or email us h M

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Speaker 1: T at I Heart Radio dot com. Um, And if

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Speaker 1: it's okay with you, I'm going to go through a

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Speaker 1: couple of these questions. Sounds good when you're not working.

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Speaker 1: What is your ideal date night? Huh, my ideal date

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Speaker 1: night or my watch, my ideal date night is going

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Speaker 1: to the house bowling maybe and my wife going to

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Speaker 1: the bowling alley. But that's my ideal date night. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: it would be going to the house, hanging out with

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Speaker 1: my wife, you know, ordering some food, watching a TV show,

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Speaker 1: or moving just laying in bad like I just I

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Speaker 1: enjoy her company, like I really really do it And

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Speaker 1: I don't have to be doing anything to be happy.

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Speaker 1: Women are always said to do it all. How are

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Speaker 1: you possibly dancing, touring and helping your wife with a

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Speaker 1: new important baby. Well, I'll tell you what my wife's

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Speaker 1: actually doing all that too. You know, you know, I've

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Speaker 1: luckily been blessed to marry an amazing, strong woman who's

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Speaker 1: doing the parenting right now, you know, while still supporting

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Speaker 1: me touring and doing Dance with the Stars. So honestly,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing all that because of her. What is your

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Speaker 1: advice if a dad won't change diapers or help with feedings,

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Speaker 1: how can that conversation be started? Man, throw it out

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Speaker 1: there and say, hey, you're turning to change the diaper

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Speaker 1: and the das I want to change. You don't love

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Speaker 1: your kid, so you don't want to just you just

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Speaker 1: want to. You could kid here in a in a

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Speaker 1: dirty diaper because you don't want to get up and

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Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, actually do that. Um, But also too,

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Speaker 1: there's a balance, you know. I feel I feel like

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Speaker 1: the mom is working and busy and the dad got

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Speaker 1: a lot more free time change the diapers, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. I feel like it's that's the relationship

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Speaker 1: I guess between each couple. You know, Um, if you

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Speaker 1: have the free time to do it, do it. And

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Speaker 1: I'm not making an excuse for people that are working

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Speaker 1: and don't change diapers. But again, I'm in a city

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Speaker 1: Wish where I've lucky enough to where my wife understands

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Speaker 1: like I'm mom, I'm tired, you know, um, and she

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Speaker 1: changes our children's diapers and don't even mentioned it. Every

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Speaker 1: now and again, I might change the diaper, you know,

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Speaker 1: but typically I'm I'm gone when I come home. I'm

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Speaker 1: just so tired, you know, I hang out with her

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Speaker 1: for a little bit, and if the baby's there and

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Speaker 1: i'm you know, next to our go ahead and change

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Speaker 1: the diaper. But again, I think it's each each relationship differs.

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Speaker 1: You know, if you feel like you need help with

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Speaker 1: the diapers, don't be afraid to ask that person for help.

421
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 1: When we are all so busy and tired and still

422
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 1: want to be affectionate. How do you show affection? What

423
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 1: are your favorite ways someone shows you affection? See, I'm

424
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:47,920
Speaker 1: not honestly sure what my favorite way of affection is.

425
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 1: I've never really narrowed in what my love language is. Um.

426
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 1: But I know when it comes to my wife, I

427
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,880
Speaker 1: know she likes quality time. You know, that's a big

428
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,399
Speaker 1: thing for her. Um. She might not say it, but

429
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:08,919
Speaker 1: I think she loves words of affirmation UM. And I

430
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,719
Speaker 1: know for sure she loves physical touch. But when it

431
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 1: comes to me, I honestly don't know. And then really

432
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 1: stopped to figure that out. Are men attracted to women

433
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,360
Speaker 1: even if they're fresh after working out or waking up,

434
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 1: depends on the guy. I think my wife looks great

435
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 1: in the morning, you know. You know, I want to

436
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 1: roll over and grab a kiss in the morning, even

437
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 1: if she got her little glasses on with her bad breath,

438
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I feel like when you're

439
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 1: attracted to some person, it's the person you're attracted to,

440
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So whether you see them

441
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 1: with makeup or without makeup, that's still the same person.

442
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,879
Speaker 1: So for me, attraction goes beneath the surface of the

443
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 1: appearance in the face, you know what I mean. You're

444
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 1: attracted to that person. You're attracted that person's soul. You're

445
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,159
Speaker 1: attracted to who they are. So whether they're fresh in

446
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 1: the morning without makeup or with makeup, I personally prefer

447
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 1: my wife without makeup. I'm all about that. Let me

448
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 1: see you, you know what I mean. So that's that's

449
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 1: what I'm into. When did you know you were ready

450
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 1: to be married? And when did you know you were

451
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:20,640
Speaker 1: ready to have kids? Um? I feel like a kid thing.

452
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 1: You can't really plan it, you know what I mean?

453
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 1: Because I had my son when I was making nineteen

454
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 1: thousand dollars a year, you know what I mean. So

455
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 1: it's not really a right time or a wrong time

456
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: to have children, it's just once they get here and

457
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 1: making sure. I feel like it comes to making sure

458
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:39,959
Speaker 1: you're willing to do whatever it takes to provide for them.

459
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 1: It's not about a certain job. It's not about making

460
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:46,400
Speaker 1: a certain amount of money. Um. Marriage for me hit

461
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,639
Speaker 1: me when I wasn't expecting it. You know, I was

462
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 1: you know, I was starting to have success in music.

463
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 1: I was single, I was traveling, I was having a

464
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 1: good time. And then me and my wife connected and

465
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 1: I don't know, it was just a shift for me.

466
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:01,920
Speaker 1: I was okay. Remember I told my cousin. I was like,

467
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: I'm done retiring my jersey, hanging my sneakers up. He

468
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 1: was like, really, I see yeah, because I found someone

469
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,159
Speaker 1: that for me, what was important is she's from my

470
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 1: hometown where I'm from, and I love where I'm from.

471
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 1: I'm very sentiment like at homesick a lot, so being

472
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 1: with alexis for me it's like having a piece of

473
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 1: home everywhere I go. Now, that was important for me,

474
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:28,159
Speaker 1: you know, someone that understood where I was from and

475
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:32,360
Speaker 1: someone that added to my life. And that's the big

476
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,159
Speaker 1: thing someone that asked to your life. That's when I

477
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 1: felt like I was ready. But it wasn't a point

478
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,879
Speaker 1: where I said, when I get here in my career,

479
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 1: when I do this and do that. And I felt

480
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 1: like I knew I was ready by meeting the right

481
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:46,120
Speaker 1: person and actually thinking about, Hey, is this the person

482
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 1: I want to be with, and then just making a

483
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,679
Speaker 1: decision to do it. This is a little bit of

484
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:54,479
Speaker 1: a longer email from Lindsay. She says, my husband has

485
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 1: a child from a previous marriage and we have a

486
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 1: new baby girl on the way. How do you make

487
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 1: sure to make both kids feel special? Are there any

488
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 1: phrases or activities my husband and I can do to

489
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: make sure the love is spread evenly been in that

490
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 1: situation My first son aid, and is from a previous relationship. UM,

491
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: I feel like the biggest thing is always include the

492
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 1: first child from the past relationship, you know, because a

493
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 1: lot of times you can get so wrapped up in

494
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 1: a new baby that you can unintentionally, you know, leave

495
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,120
Speaker 1: out the other kid. So just make sure whenever y'all

496
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 1: have the kid, spend time with him, you know, do

497
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: things with him and his new baby sibling. But also

498
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 1: do things with just that child as well. UM. I

499
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 1: feel like that's super important, just making sure they always

500
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 1: feel included. Last question, what is the best advice you

501
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 1: have for keeping a marriage solid? Man? This advice I'm

502
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 1: giving myself the same time I'm giving you um communication

503
00:28:56,000 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 1: which I suck at. UM. Making time for that other person,

504
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 1: even if that means you don't get as much sleep

505
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 1: as you want or if you're exhausted. Just just being

506
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 1: honest about everything, even if it's something you think the

507
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 1: other person doesn't want to hear. Just be honest. That's

508
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 1: the biggest thing I've learned about being married is just

509
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 1: be honest. See how you feel, because you can't read

510
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 1: other person's mind and you don't know how they might

511
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: feel when you say something or when you bring something up.

512
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 1: So openness and communication is number one. And then you know,

513
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 1: I don't want to say that word compromised because I

514
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 1: don't really like that word compromised, because I don't really

515
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 1: think the way I say sacrifice. I like the word

516
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 1: sacrifice because to me, sacrifice means you're giving up something

517
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 1: you want for the person you love because you love them.

518
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 1: To me, the word compromise kind of means you're giving

519
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 1: it up to avoid turmoil or avoid an argument, and

520
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 1: that I don't think this should be about it to

521
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: be about sacrifice. You know, you love that person and

522
00:29:58,120 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 1: you're willing to give up something to make sure that

523
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 1: happy because you love them. Hey, y'all, that was a

524
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 1: good time. We answer some questions. Hopefully, um, someone heard

525
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 1: something they need to hear to help their relationship continue

526
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,959
Speaker 1: to grow and help them with you know, getting into

527
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 1: their next relationship. But yeah, you know you can catch

528
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 1: me on all the social media's at Jimmy Allen as

529
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 1: j I M M I E A L L E

530
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 1: n um. Yeah. So it's been fun. I will see

531
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:34,960
Speaker 1: y'all soon. Make sure you tune in to the Disney

532
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 1: Christmas special. You might see me on there and I'll

533
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 1: see you all there. You have a happy holidays. Thanks

534
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: for listening to How Men Think an I Heart Radio

535
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: London Audio Production