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Speaker 1: Pushkin. Hey everyone, before we start the show, I just

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Speaker 1: wanted to make a little announcement. Heavyweight is going to

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Speaker 1: remain available on every platform, but we're going to be

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Speaker 1: making some extra bonus material exclusive to those who listen

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Speaker 1: on Spotify right now. On Spotify, we're offering the hard

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Speaker 1: hitting and beer sponsored eight part investigative series, The Heavyweight Diaries,

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Speaker 1: and we'll have some other fun bonus content coming later

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Speaker 1: this year. So if you want to check all that out,

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Speaker 1: you can follow us for free on Spotify. All right,

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Speaker 1: let's start the show. Hello Stevie, Yes, let me get

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Speaker 1: Khalila on the line. Hello, Khalila, It's Jonathan.

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Speaker 2: Hi.

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Speaker 1: Yep, Goldstein. I know you're both therey. What's going on?

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Speaker 3: So?

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Speaker 4: You know, I'm at home with my parents, and my

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Speaker 4: older brother and his fiance, Miriam are staying with us

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Speaker 4: as well. Yeah, and we're all pretty much on top

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Speaker 4: of each other and there's like not really anywhere to

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Speaker 4: escape to. But the thing I'm really enjoying about it,

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Speaker 4: actually is I've gotten to know Miriam so much better.

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Speaker 4: She and my brother have been dating for like eight years,

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Speaker 4: but I don't think we'd ever hung out one on

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Speaker 4: one before.

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Speaker 5: Now it feels like Jane Austen novel or something, where

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Speaker 5: like your brother's betrothed is staying at the house, and

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Speaker 5: like the ladies are getting to spend time together and

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Speaker 5: like go for strolls and stuff.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm learning all these little things about her

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Speaker 4: which I find so entertaining. She has a terrible sense

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Speaker 4: of direction. Basically, she can't form any kind of mental

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Speaker 4: map in her head. She told me this great story

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Speaker 4: about when she first started driving. She was in the

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Speaker 4: town where she grew up her whole life.

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Speaker 6: And I got lost, and I had no idea where

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Speaker 6: I was going, and somehow I just decided to follow

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Speaker 6: the car in front of me.

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Speaker 4: Where were you trying to go?

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Speaker 5: I was trying to get home.

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Speaker 4: You were trying to go home, and you were just like,

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Speaker 4: maybe the car in front of me is also going

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Speaker 4: to my house.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know, but I.

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Speaker 6: Just figured they were going somewhere, and they would at

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Speaker 6: least be going like on real roads and going like

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Speaker 6: on the right direction in roads. But actually it was

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Speaker 6: a terrible idea. And the car in front of me

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Speaker 6: turned onto the highway, so I just followed them on

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Speaker 6: the highway for like, I don't know a while, and

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Speaker 6: finally I like pulled over in a gas station and

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Speaker 6: I was like, where am I? And it was in Pennsylvania,

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Speaker 6: and where did you start? I started in Maryland.

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Speaker 4: It's pretty extreme, Like she gets lost in restaurants. If

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Speaker 4: she goes to the bathroom, she can't find her way

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Speaker 4: back to the table.

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Speaker 7: You know.

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Speaker 4: She's been at our house for a little while now,

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Speaker 4: and still like when she goes on walks in the neighborhood,

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Speaker 4: she has a really hard time getting back. So she

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Speaker 4: was telling me that the way she gets around is

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Speaker 4: basically by just stumbling on what she calls landmarks.

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Speaker 6: There's some bone on the street that's kind of near

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Speaker 6: your street, like near the gutter, And a lot of

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Speaker 6: times I'm walking and the bone is nearby, and then

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Speaker 6: your house is really close by.

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Speaker 4: Wait wait wait wait wait, like an animal boat.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, Like I don't know if there's like part of

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Speaker 6: a chicken bone or like even something a dog was

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Speaker 6: chewing on. But it's been like really helpful because there's

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Speaker 6: been a few times that I'm kind of like a

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Speaker 6: bit lost and then I look down and there's the bone,

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Speaker 6: and it's like.

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Speaker 5: Oh good, wait, what's gonna happen? When someone cleans up

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Speaker 5: that chicken bone.

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Speaker 4: I know, I was like that bone could be gone

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Speaker 4: like any day.

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Speaker 6: The bone has been very reliable for like three, three

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Speaker 6: or four weeks since I've been here.

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Speaker 4: Our house, which for me is feeling like smaller and

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Speaker 4: smaller every day. For her, it's like completely the opposite

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Speaker 4: my experience of walking and moving around in spaces in

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Speaker 4: the world.

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Speaker 6: I do think everything feels really really huge to me

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Speaker 6: all the time, like unfathomably, like infinitely just mysterious and

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Speaker 6: kind of unknowable. And so I think I might be

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Speaker 6: a bit lucky and that I may not be feeling

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Speaker 6: that clausterphobia that a lot of people are feeling right

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Speaker 6: now in quarantine.

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Speaker 4: I just am fascinated by how she experiences the world,

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Speaker 4: and I've actually been doing these sort of like experiments

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Speaker 4: with her where I make her close her eyes and

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Speaker 4: I ask her to point to things that are in

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Speaker 4: the room, like the TV or the couch or the

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Speaker 4: kitchen table or whatever, and then I have her open

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Speaker 4: her eyes.

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Speaker 6: Wait, oh my god, Wait, was all of that wrong,

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Speaker 6: because I thought the whole time that I was in

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Speaker 6: a totally different part of the house. Did you do

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Speaker 6: that on purpose or no, no, no, no, no, you

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Speaker 6: weren't trying to trick me. No, I was totally shocked

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Speaker 6: to open my eyes.

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Speaker 5: And I am not sharing my home with a sister

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Speaker 5: in law to be. But I did talk to my

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Speaker 5: little sister this week. Oh so she's much younger than me.

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Speaker 5: She's a senior in high school right now. Her name's Jeffy,

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Speaker 5: And I also feeling she like has it together in

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Speaker 5: a way that I did not in high school. Like

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Speaker 5: if I look at pictures of her and her friends,

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Speaker 5: I'm like, wow, they look so polished. So normally she'd

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Speaker 5: be graduating in a couple of weeks because she's a senior,

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Speaker 5: but obviously they're not having a real graduation right this

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Speaker 5: week she had her sort of fake graduation. What they're

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Speaker 5: doing is they're having all the kids come to the

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Speaker 5: school over the course of three days, and they're just

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Speaker 5: filming them walking across the stage.

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Speaker 7: They were basically like tapeline every six feet and yeah,

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Speaker 7: we basically just walked across stage.

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Speaker 5: Did they like play music or anything while you were

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Speaker 5: walking across the stage. Nope, Like she just walked across

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Speaker 5: a silent stage in an empty room, and they were

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Speaker 5: like Okay, that's your graduation. Yeah, I guess it wasn't

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Speaker 5: like totally empty. It was like there were a handful

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Speaker 5: of people there in this very large arena.

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Speaker 7: Obviously mom and dad were there, and then they had

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Speaker 7: to wear masks, and my principal was there to like

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Speaker 7: kind of remind me what to do, and but my

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Speaker 7: principle he stick really close to me. That was like,

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Speaker 7: really weird, the closest I've been to another person besides

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Speaker 7: my family in a long time.

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Speaker 5: And did it feel like a graduation?

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Speaker 8: Uh?

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Speaker 7: It was pretty as I claimactic none of this really

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Speaker 7: feels real. So yeah, I mean I feel like you

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Speaker 7: normally get those feelings anyway of like, oh, it doesn't

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Speaker 7: really feel over, but like it really doesn't feel over.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I assume you're not having a prom.

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Speaker 7: No, that was one of the first things we canceled.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 7: I feel kind of grateful that I hadn't already bought

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Speaker 7: my dress. Little things right, Dad joking and was.

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Speaker 5: Like, well, at least you don't have a date.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, you're right, No way, I'm getting a boyfriend in

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Speaker 7: high school now.

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Speaker 5: Well I didn't either, so I don't know if that's

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Speaker 5: that any comfort.

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Speaker 7: I didn't have super high over.

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Speaker 4: Jonathan, how are you doing?

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Speaker 1: You know I'm doing okay. I I had a milestone

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Speaker 1: this weekend. My three year old Aggie showed an interest

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Speaker 1: in what I do for a living for the very

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Speaker 1: first time. So I invited him into my home studio

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Speaker 1: so he could so you could feel the magic. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you hear yourself. You could see how you're recording. When

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Speaker 1: you see those little lines. When you talk loud, it

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Speaker 1: goes up up. Okay, that's a little loud. Mostly what

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Speaker 1: we did was just fight over the microphone. I hold it.

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Speaker 2: Let.

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Speaker 1: We ended up calling up his grandmother to interview her. Hi, Hi,

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Speaker 1: whenne viewing you. That makes me feel very important. Left

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Speaker 1: new It's hard.

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Speaker 7: To think of new things when you can't leave your house.

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Speaker 1: I come out of more of a I guess public

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Speaker 1: radio tradition, but Aggie seems to adhere more to commercial

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Speaker 1: morning zoo, aesthetic knack knack. Who's there? Dung dung?

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Speaker 3: Who dung doggy dung. I'm healthy, Papa, you are?

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Speaker 1: I see you have a microphone?

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Speaker 8: And are you in his studio?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 4: I mean the.

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Speaker 1: Classic, Well, the closet is my studio. My fear. Now

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Speaker 1: is that hearing his old man say in that pleading

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Speaker 1: tone of voice that the closet is my studio might

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Speaker 1: be Augie's very first memory. Anyway, you know what time

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Speaker 1: it is? Twelve?

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Speaker 5: Ad time?

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Speaker 1: Did you say bedtime?

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Speaker 5: I said add time, but I wish it were bedtime.

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Speaker 1: Wrong again, It's AD time, So I was right. You

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Speaker 1: know why they call them.

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Speaker 5: Ads because they add a value tier, because they.

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Speaker 1: Add so much to your life. And when we get back,

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Speaker 1: you're not going to believe who I talk to next?

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Speaker 1: Heavyweight Gang. Yeah, you remember my old friend James. He's

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Speaker 1: a successful TV writer living in Toronto. In season one,

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Speaker 1: we snuck onto a golf course to scatter his dad's ashes.

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Speaker 1: So one night recently, James began to feel really ill

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Speaker 1: with what he's now pretty sure was COVID scary, so

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Speaker 1: his wife decided to steal them off in their bedroom,

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Speaker 1: away from their two kids. And James is feeling much

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Speaker 1: better now, but he's still in isolation. So I gave

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Speaker 1: him a call to see how he's doing, and he

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Speaker 1: told me about the weird way that the sickness first

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Speaker 1: came on.

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Speaker 2: I was doing a chickstarw puzzle. It's a woodstock puzzle,

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Speaker 2: and you'd think it's all like hifty, peaceful, it's going

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Speaker 2: to be easy. No, it was a nightmare of this puzzle.

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Speaker 1: How many pieces? How many pieces on thousand?

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm no punk, I'm no punk. Anything less than

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Speaker 2: a thousand that's a kid puzzle. Anyways, it's a mad,

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Speaker 2: challenging puzzle, and it was really getting on my nerves.

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Speaker 2: He was pissing me off. I couldn't get to sleep

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Speaker 2: because it started. I was getting angry and I felt sick,

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Speaker 2: and I thought.

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Speaker 1: You thought you were just like sick with anger about

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Speaker 1: the puzzle for real?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because I was like starting to

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Speaker 2: get you know, like, oh my stomach sick and I'm

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Speaker 2: mad at this goddamn puzzle.

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Speaker 1: But at a certain point, did you realize, you know, actually,

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Speaker 1: it's not normal to be getting this upset and this

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Speaker 1: sick over a puzzle.

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Speaker 2: Eventually, about four five in the morning, I got so

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Speaker 2: cold and I started to shake, and I went, oh,

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Speaker 2: I'm sick, that's what this is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I was moaning on every outpress like this. It was

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Speaker 2: like for hours. I was going One night, as I'm

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Speaker 2: going I heard people outside being like, what is that

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Speaker 2: like I was causing a disturbance in the neighborhood. It

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Speaker 2: was like the Extra Sister or something. You know, a migraine.

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Speaker 2: You're in a migraine.

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Speaker 1: No, but I mean I've heard I've read about them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, me too. So it's like I had a migraine

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Speaker 2: in my body. It's like my legs were a migraine.

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Speaker 2: Everything hurts. And I said something like I want to die.

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Speaker 2: I want to die, you know. Oh, it's just I did.

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Speaker 2: I really wanted to die for a good forty eight hours.

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Speaker 2: Kill me.

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Speaker 1: So the weirdest thing was that, in spite of how

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Speaker 1: sick he was and how he felt like he was

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Speaker 1: looking at his own mortality, we spent most of the

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Speaker 1: conversation talking about this movie, this seventies disaster film that

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Speaker 1: he'd seen as a kid and had decided to rewatch

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Speaker 1: while he was recovering in Quarantine. And the movie is

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Speaker 1: straight strangely timely because it's about a pandemic and it's

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Speaker 1: called the Cassandra Crossing.

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Speaker 2: It is one of the worst movies ever made. It's terrible.

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Speaker 2: It's like eating bad ice cream.

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Speaker 1: So wait to what happens. So it's it's Santa.

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Speaker 2: Crossing takes place on a very sexy, glamorous train from

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Speaker 2: Geneva to Rembra and it's filled the stars. And what's

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Speaker 2: the twist that makes a disaster movie? A terrorist infected

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Speaker 2: with the bubonic plague gets on the train and he's

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Speaker 2: going to get everybody sick and they're going to die.

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Speaker 2: And the government represent on of Burt Lancaster decides they

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Speaker 2: just going to kill everybody. Let's just kill them, so

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Speaker 2: they stop the train at Nuremberg. At Nuremberg, no connotations there,

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Speaker 2: and they board it up with metal. The Cassandra Crossing

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Speaker 2: of the title is they're going to divert the train

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Speaker 2: over a crossing an elevated bridge, okay, massive, huge bridge

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Speaker 2: over a canyon, knowing that the bridge cannot sustain this

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Speaker 2: train and they will all plummet to their death. And

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Speaker 2: they deliberately pump the train full of pure oxygen, which

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Speaker 2: is flammable, knowing that when the train crashes, it's going

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Speaker 2: to blow up. There's O. J. Simpson. He's playing a priest,

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Speaker 2: but he's actually an agent from Interpol who's tracking Martin Sheen,

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Speaker 2: the drug dealer. Turns out Martin Sheen's a heroin at

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Speaker 2: and he goes bananas because he needs Heroin right, grabs

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Speaker 2: a machine gun and starts shooting people. He starts shooting

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Speaker 2: people and then because he's like, I need this stuff.

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Speaker 8: So I get this.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna love this. There is always a moment like

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Speaker 2: this in all seventies movies where the British actor would act.

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Speaker 2: So this is Richard Harris, this moment to act and

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Speaker 2: he's like, so what will you do?

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Speaker 4: Then?

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Speaker 2: Will you shoot everyone on the train?

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Speaker 9: So stop start with me?

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Speaker 2: Shoot me? And Barnishine's like, oh, yeah, you're right, that's bad.

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Speaker 2: I shouldn't do that. Before he was a Heroin Addict

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Speaker 2: slash Dealer, he was a champion mountain climber in Europe.

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Speaker 2: He borrows some kids tennis shoes and he goes out,

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Speaker 2: this is a terrible movie. So the stunt double is like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, eight feet tall and it's obviously not Martchine,

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Speaker 2: but whatever do you know?

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Speaker 1: As you're telling that, like it sounds as though like

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Speaker 1: hadn't you said you saw this movie as a kid,

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Speaker 1: I would think like was this a fever dream?

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Speaker 2: It's very real. You can probably find it in the

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Speaker 2: delete bin event gas station. As Susan Sontag said, the

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Speaker 2: disaster movie gives the audience the opportunity to live through

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Speaker 2: their own death.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that's why you sought out this movie

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Speaker 1: at this moment?

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Speaker 7: Hell?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, because I thought I was I don't mean

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Speaker 2: to say I thought I was dying in a history onic,

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Speaker 2: you know, sort of like melodramatic way. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm dying. I'm dying, and part of me wanted to

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Speaker 2: die because I didn't want to keep going through what

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Speaker 2: I was wanting through. It sounds stupid, but that's what

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Speaker 2: I thought as I was coming out of it, surely

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Speaker 2: before I decided to watch Concentral Crossing again and realizing,

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Speaker 2: oh no, okay, you're not only are you not going

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Speaker 2: to die, but it was really stupid to want to die.

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Speaker 2: That was just the stupidest thing you've ever thought of.

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Speaker 2: Because your kids are there, and yeah they're annoying, but

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Speaker 2: they're awesome, and I have things to write, and I

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Speaker 2: really did have this sense of like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: it's not over for me and I've got shit to do.

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Speaker 2: I'm actually happier than I've did in a really long time.

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Speaker 2: And I'm talking like you and years and years, I

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Speaker 2: swear to god, I there's a lateness. I just feel

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Speaker 2: light in a way that I haven't never Maybe.

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Speaker 1: How long have you been in there now? Like a

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Speaker 1: week and a.

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Speaker 2: Half now, So I still got more time in here,

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Speaker 2: got my computer, I got my Chickstop puzzle, of course

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Speaker 2: I did. Sully did bring up my my Goddawn? Which

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Speaker 2: star puzzle?

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Speaker 1: Did you?

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Speaker 8: Did?

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Speaker 1: You continue working on it.

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Speaker 2: As soon as I was able. As soon as I

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Speaker 2: was able, I was back at.

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Speaker 1: That shit Wow. A listener to the show, Cheyenne, wrote

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Speaker 1: in about her boyfriend Torstein, who she's in a long

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Speaker 1: distance relationship with, and Torstein is having a hard time.

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Speaker 1: He's stuck at home, quarantining with a large family in

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Speaker 1: a crowded house TV. You can relate, probably.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, totally, I get it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And so he was supposed to go off to

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Speaker 1: university this fall, which he was very excited about. But

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Speaker 1: now all the classes are going to be online.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: It feels like similarly like with my sister, just like

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Speaker 5: a lot of the milestones that people would normally be

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Speaker 5: hitting right now they kind of aren't getting to have.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so's he's sad about that, And Chyenne says that

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Speaker 1: he's a big fan of the show, and she asked

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Speaker 1: if the three of us could surprise him with a

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Speaker 1: phone call.

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Speaker 2: So fun.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so let's let's do it. Let's call Chyenne first. Okay,

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Speaker 1: here we go. Get ready to bring the sunshine, Kayley,

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Speaker 1: Oh god, I want to hear a smile in your voice.

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Speaker 5: I'm smiling now, can you hear it?

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Speaker 1: It sounds like it's painting you.

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Speaker 4: It's sort of like that model thing of smiling, just

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Speaker 4: with your eyes. Just smile with your voice.

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Speaker 1: It's called smiices. And this is called mooie.

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Speaker 4: It's moisy.

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Speaker 7: Got it?

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Speaker 1: You got a that's such a gross word. All right,

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Speaker 1: here we go. Hello, Seyenne. Hi, Hello, h Cheyenne. You'll

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Speaker 1: conference Torstein in.

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Speaker 8: Okay, okay, that was so great.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hello, Hi tour Stein. Yeah, Hi, it's Jonathan Goldstein.

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Speaker 9: Oh wow, Hi.

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Speaker 2: Hi.

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Speaker 1: You know your very nice girlfriend who seems to love

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Speaker 1: you very much.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 1: She wrote into the show and wanted us to say.

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Speaker 9: Hi, thank you. Well, I'm kind of in shockering now.

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Speaker 1: Yenne had said that you'd been feeling a little down

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Speaker 1: in the midst of everything.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, my school just got canceled for the rest of

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Speaker 9: the year. Not like canceled, but like I'm going to

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Speaker 9: be able to attend it. Yeah, so I was kind

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Speaker 9: of bummed.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, how old are you?

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Speaker 9: I am twenty How.

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Speaker 5: Old are you? Makes it sound like you're like attending

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Speaker 5: a children's birthday party.

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Speaker 1: Well, no, I want to say. I just want to

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Speaker 1: tell you. I mean, I don't know if this takes

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Speaker 1: the pressure off, but truly nothing matters in like at

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Speaker 1: least until twenty five. That does help. Yeah, you're not

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Speaker 1: going to remember any of the things you're learning now anyhow.

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Speaker 5: I mean I don't know that I totally subscribe to

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Speaker 5: the whole nothing you will hearn ever, mean anything, I'm

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Speaker 5: just trying to inspire.

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Speaker 9: It's not necessarily that like attending classes the shame as

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Speaker 9: much as like, there's like eleven people in my house

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Speaker 9: right now. You know, I was supposed to move out

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Speaker 9: and go to school, but because of the coronavirus and

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Speaker 9: having to stay at home for another semester, and I love,

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Speaker 9: I love my home, but you know, I want to

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Speaker 9: move out and live my own life.

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Speaker 1: Have you never been out on your own?

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Speaker 9: Not Like I haven't lived on my own.

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Speaker 1: So that was something that you were excited about.

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Speaker 9: Absolutely, Yeah, Yeah, I have eight older siblings, and I

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Speaker 9: grew up in a room with my three older brothers.

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Speaker 9: Whenever one moved out, I would move up to a

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Speaker 9: different bed. You know, there's the nicer beds in my

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Speaker 9: own So I think that individuality is something that I

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Speaker 9: decently desired, and it'll happen, but it just feels like

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Speaker 9: it got postponed a little bit more.

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Speaker 1: But I think you will probably end up looking back

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Speaker 1: on this time with all eleven of you living in

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Speaker 1: the house as an incredibly like a kind of moment

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Speaker 1: of grace almost. You know, it's going to take on

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Speaker 1: a certain kind of sweetness. Right. It might be hard

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Speaker 1: to see now, but I.

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Speaker 9: Think I do see it to some degree. I'm never

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Speaker 9: gonna like have another chance to live with the three

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Speaker 9: siblings that are home right now, and these is the

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Speaker 9: nephews that are living at the house right now. There's

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Speaker 9: joy in playing games with him and talking to them and.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they probably think you're really cool.

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Speaker 9: They're better. My first niece entered the world when I

403
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Speaker 9: was twelve, and twelve year old me, it's like, I

404
00:21:42,850 --> 00:21:46,569
Speaker 9: want to be called Uncle Awesome and that's just stuck.

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Speaker 1: So for the rest of my life, they all call

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Speaker 1: you uncle awesome. Yeah, all the time.

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Speaker 4: They're also only twelve years younger than you, and I

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Speaker 4: like the idea of you being like fifty in the

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Speaker 4: late thirties and they're still like oh yeah uncle as.

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Speaker 1: No no, no, no no. By that point, they'll be more mature.

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Speaker 1: They'll probably out the uncle and just call you awesome

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Speaker 1: because they have like an adult relationship exactly. Yeah, I'm Shane. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: is there anything that you wanted to say?

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Speaker 8: I really proud of you and everything you've done, and

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Speaker 8: I can't wait to see where you go on this long,

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Speaker 8: long journey of life and the short little journey of

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Speaker 8: college that's a little shorter now. But I'm crying. Why

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Speaker 8: am I crying?

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Speaker 2: Please?

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Speaker 8: I love you.

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Speaker 3: I love you.