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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast

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Speaker 1: Firm Elvis Presents fifteen minute morning Show. All right, how

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Speaker 1: is everybody's Halloween? Right? Okay, Well I'm a little disappointed

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Speaker 1: in mine. I think we only had about fifteen kids

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Speaker 1: show up to the door. That was it. We had

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Speaker 1: the most kids, and I could not believe there were

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Speaker 1: hundreds and hundreds of kid who was unreal? Really work

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Speaker 1: out what you were given away? It was the busiest.

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Speaker 1: It was the busiest year in years. Well what was

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Speaker 1: what were you giving away? Well, I mean full size

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Speaker 1: Eminem's but still now that was texting their friends and

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Speaker 1: you know, my parents bucket got stolen like a at

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Speaker 1: seven thirty. My parents came out in the whole bowl

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Speaker 1: and all the candy were gone. Are little I'll tell you.

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Speaker 1: Lisa had a terrible idea this year. She posted she

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Speaker 1: put a sign up because we went to dinner because

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Speaker 1: it was my birthday, so we went with my parents

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Speaker 1: and she put a sign up with a bowl of

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Speaker 1: candy and it said, please only take one piece per kid,

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Speaker 1: leave something for the others. Do you think that worked

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Speaker 1: that well? Did you guys see that little video of

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Speaker 1: someone recorded the other day of a kid walking up

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Speaker 1: to one of those things with his backpack, dumping the

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Speaker 1: candy and then flipping off the ring camera a little

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Speaker 1: piece of ship. We went to my friend's house and

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Speaker 1: we were watching her house on the ring camera, and

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Speaker 1: she goes, I put a sign that says take one,

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Speaker 1: not just the kids, the adult course we're going in

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Speaker 1: and grabbing hands. Why don't they yell at these kids

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Speaker 1: through the ring camera, like put it back, cannot leave

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Speaker 1: candy on supervised. Kid didn't mess with me because mine's

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Speaker 1: my sign said please take one or two or three,

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Speaker 1: so they knew that they could take more than one,

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Speaker 1: and nobody stole my stuff. Well, I'll say this, I

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to be joining the sign up list

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Speaker 1: because in my apartment building, we have to sign up voluntarily.

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Speaker 1: And in years past, some one of you bastards used

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Speaker 1: to stop by my apartment when I wasn't looking, and

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Speaker 1: right in Scary Jones apartment, and then I used to

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Speaker 1: get calls. I used to be in my underwear and

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Speaker 1: sleeping and the door would that I had no candy.

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Speaker 1: But this time I was proactive and I made it

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Speaker 1: clear it's a building management. I took three four cases

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Speaker 1: of candy, and I dumped it on the lobby desk

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Speaker 1: and I said, this is from Scary Jones and the

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Speaker 1: apartment upstairs happy, how will we and everybody I'm going

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Speaker 1: to bed and this and guess what I will tell

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Speaker 1: you this everybody day They were so happy. It was

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Speaker 1: all the full size stuff. I was the hint of

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Speaker 1: the land. I was the Wizard of Oz though, because

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Speaker 1: I didn't show my ugly face or head or fucking

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Speaker 1: open up my door for anybody. It was a faceless transaction.

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Speaker 1: Did you really write from Scary Jones? Do you use

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Speaker 1: your radio name at your first I said, from Anthony upstairs,

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Speaker 1: this happy Halloween to all the kids. Don't come to

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Speaker 1: my apartment. But and they they actually were really very

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Speaker 1: cool about giving out you rashing the candy had behind

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Speaker 1: the desk. They were handing out the bars. Full disclosure.

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Speaker 1: I talked to your girlfriend yesterday and she talked me

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Speaker 1: out of it. I was in front of your building

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Speaker 1: a long a second. I was gonna walk in and

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Speaker 1: I was going to sign him up for Tricker treaders.

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Speaker 1: Scarious Scary still busy pressing buttons here. I talked to

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Speaker 1: Robin yesterday and she talked me out of it. I

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Speaker 1: was in front of your building. I was about to

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Speaker 1: do it. I was about you were going to do it,

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Speaker 1: and she said, don't do it, you son of a bitch.

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Speaker 1: I would get thank your girlfriend. I was so tempted.

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Speaker 1: I was. My car was in front of your building.

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Speaker 1: Do you guys hear this? Yeah? Were you in on

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Speaker 1: this too? No? No, no, But there is a part

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Speaker 1: of me that wishes he would have done it. It's

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Speaker 1: like the time you've been the butt of the jokes

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Speaker 1: many times when we put your phone number in the

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Speaker 1: newspaper back in the day that you were selling monkeys

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Speaker 1: and people were calling you the PI. Can you retell

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Speaker 1: that story? Go ahead, Scary, go ahead, No, scary, you

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Speaker 1: go Aheady's monkeys. This was what gotta be like years

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Speaker 1: ago already it was Greg t put an ad in

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Speaker 1: the like the local New Jersey whatever paper, and the

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Speaker 1: headline was monkeys, monkeys, monkeys like pet store closing, have

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Speaker 1: to get rid of these monkeys. And then put Scary's

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Speaker 1: phone number in the newspaper when people still read newspapers,

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Speaker 1: and he got hundreds of calls. So I didn't know this,

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Speaker 1: but at the time it was a hot maybe he

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Speaker 1: still is. It's a hot button when you advertise monkeys,

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Speaker 1: because it's a hot First of all, I didn't know

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Speaker 1: if you're just figuring out legal or illegal states and

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Speaker 1: sometimes where you are, it's like that's one of those

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Speaker 1: pets that you just shouldn't have in your house. So people,

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Speaker 1: even if it's legal, are going to give me shit

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Speaker 1: about it. So it was these Capuccian monkeys that they

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Speaker 1: actually I don't think that's how you pronounced capuchin monkeys,

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Speaker 1: monkeys whatever. It was the Carpaccio monkeys. And next thing

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm getting call. I'm getting bombarded, bombarded, and

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Speaker 1: then and then they had another phone. It said there

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Speaker 1: was a secret line to leave a voicemail, a separate line.

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Speaker 1: So they collected all the voicemails and played them on

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Speaker 1: the end. We still have a we have a montage

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Speaker 1: of all the voicemails that came in. So, did you

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Speaker 1: have any clue? We're like, the first time that the

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Speaker 1: first call that came through, did you have any idea? What?

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Speaker 1: It took me a good fifteen minutes, because I guess

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Speaker 1: as soon as people opened up the paper, they started

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Speaker 1: because this is back when people read newspapers. They were

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Speaker 1: eating at breakfast and I was making my breakfast, and

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, calls just started started a little trickle,

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Speaker 1: and then they started coming fast and furious, and all

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Speaker 1: day it was monkeys, monkeys, monkeys, monkeys, calls, people wanting

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Speaker 1: to buy these Capriccio monkeys experience. It was their Italian

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Speaker 1: What about the time that we let a homeless man

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Speaker 1: in your apartment and he got sleep in your bed

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Speaker 1: and wear your clothes. That was another great tea prank.

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Speaker 1: Can people hear it? If I play it? Or you

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Speaker 1: have to play it? You want to play it? You

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Speaker 1: could play you can play it. A hold on a second,

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Speaker 1: I have to hit another button. In one minute, I'm

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Speaker 1: doing three things. That was basically we have screwed with

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Speaker 1: Scary a hundred times and he takes the joke better

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Speaker 1: than anybody. Well, we should do it again. Seriously, guys.

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Speaker 1: Nothing we let a homeless person to take a bath

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Speaker 1: and take a shower and eat food out of my refrigerator.

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Speaker 1: When I was in a ruba with my girlfriend and

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Speaker 1: my favorite was at one point I was checking into

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Speaker 1: the morning show and Alvis had me on one line.

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Speaker 1: It's like, oh, how's your vacation Scary, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: it's just so beautiful. I'm relaxing, the sun is out,

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Speaker 1: it's already eight degrees. I can't wait to jump into

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Speaker 1: the into the water. It's like, okay, you have a

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Speaker 1: good time now. Scary hangs up on me and then

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Speaker 1: goes to Great Team Life. From my apartment with the

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Speaker 1: homeless person wearing my clothes in my bed, added your bathtub,

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Speaker 1: and that was the one time Scary he got the

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Speaker 1: garg t got the doorman to let him in your apartment,

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Speaker 1: and he went to the bathroom and he left it

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Speaker 1: there so that when you came home, your whole apartment.

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Speaker 1: So he left it married. Oh well, speaking of bathroom issues,

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Speaker 1: so this past weekend, I must have eaten a lot

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Speaker 1: of fiber or something. I don't know. It was a

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Speaker 1: very you know how we've talked about the poop knife

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Speaker 1: on the show. If there was ever an instance where

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Speaker 1: I needed a poop knife. It was Saturday morning. So

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Speaker 1: so I tried to flush repeatedly. It would not go down.

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Speaker 1: What you eat, I don't it's it's the silium. It

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Speaker 1: would not go down. So who do I call? I'm

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Speaker 1: I like in a panic? You know when you. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure this doesn't happen you all the time, ladies, but

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Speaker 1: like the water started to rise in the toilet and

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Speaker 1: the sweat just instantly appears on your brow. So it

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Speaker 1: happened for like thirty minutes. The water would recede and

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Speaker 1: then go back up again when I tried to flush,

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Speaker 1: nothing doing. So who do I call in that moment

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Speaker 1: of panic, Scotty B Because I figured if anybody's gonna

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Speaker 1: know what to do, it's Scotty. I thought it would

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Speaker 1: be froggy, more froggy than Scott. And I called you

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Speaker 1: back not long after that. You didn't answer, because you

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Speaker 1: shipped up my whole day because like an hour after that,

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Speaker 1: my daughter was running out the door and she's like, hey, dad,

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Speaker 1: toilets clogged and she ran out and it was and

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Speaker 1: it was a murder scene in there. And then an

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Speaker 1: hour after that my dog went outside and rolled and ship.

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Speaker 1: You set my day up for Ship. Sorry for setting

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Speaker 1: you up for a shitty day. You did have some

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Speaker 1: good advice. Yeah, Uh, Scotty, let go all the way down.

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Speaker 1: It was almost dry, Like the water goes away and

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Speaker 1: then you gotta plunge the hell out of it. But

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Speaker 1: also you had one of those crappy like gas station

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Speaker 1: plungers that's just like the half a cup and doesn't

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Speaker 1: have the bottom. It's gotta have the bottom hole on it.

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Speaker 1: You need the extra lip yep I gets you or

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Speaker 1: like ps I going down there more pressure. So anyway,

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Speaker 1: like we go through all that to get to this.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever googled how to get a large poo

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Speaker 1: to go down this? Google you get all sorts of

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Speaker 1: like I got a Champion four man. You know what

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Speaker 1: the Champion four is advertised for doing swallowing an entire

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Speaker 1: bucket of golf balls in one gulf? When but when

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Speaker 1: have you ever eaten golf balls that you needed to

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Speaker 1: down the toilet? You we see what he eats it.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. Golf balls are not. The man eats

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Speaker 1: more than golf balls. So anyway, one of the home

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Speaker 1: remedies was baking soda and white vinegar. And if you

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Speaker 1: thought it ship smelled bad and having that brew bubbling

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Speaker 1: away and your toilet for thirty minutes funny, then in

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Speaker 1: the name of it. A friend of mine that owns

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Speaker 1: a hardware store, I told him I was having an

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Speaker 1: issue with my pipes, and he gave me the stuff.

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Speaker 1: When you poured down the pipes, it's so powerful that

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Speaker 1: it smokes. The smoke comes out and it smells so bad,

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Speaker 1: but it works. Yeah, it's like it's thick brown liquid coke.

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Speaker 1: It's funny that that Scotty's your poop guy. Like, for example,

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Speaker 1: if you remember yesterday, I told the story how I

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Speaker 1: had a vodka question and I called Elvis because he's

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Speaker 1: my vodka. He's my drinking or cooking expert. It's weird

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Speaker 1: how when it comes to the poop, Scotty is your expert.

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Speaker 1: Like he's the person that you call if you guys encountered,

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Speaker 1: like Gandhi, if you encounter not that you ever would,

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Speaker 1: but if you encounter that situation where the toilet wouldn't flush,

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Speaker 1: who in this little zoom room are you gonna call? Oh,

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Speaker 1: in the zoom room, what would I call with a

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Speaker 1: non flushing toilet? Probably Froggy first. If Elvis were here.

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Speaker 1: I think Elvis would be a solid he he knows

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Speaker 1: a lot of weird things that go on in his home. See,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I wants somebody to do it. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I see. I would call Froggy because any technical anything

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Speaker 1: my husband. Other than my husband, I call Froggy, but

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Speaker 1: then I might take a moment and go it has

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Speaker 1: to do poop maybe Scott. Yeah, that's right because initially

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Speaker 1: when I'm like, okay, this is a serious problem in

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Speaker 1: my head, I'm like, okay, Froggy will know how to

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Speaker 1: fix this. But then the problem was pooh. So I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I got nervous when you called me on a Saturday morning.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what was something's wrong? Oh? It was? It

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Speaker 1: was category five like that, why are you can you

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Speaker 1: can answer that, well, why are there two before? As well?

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Speaker 1: It's okay, so you know silium husk does it kind

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Speaker 1: of binds it together? You never have to wipe, like

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Speaker 1: you will never use toilet paper ever again when you

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Speaker 1: use silium husk. But the problem is it's very compacted

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Speaker 1: so that it's it's basically a brick, you know, like

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Speaker 1: that's how they used to make up bricks back in

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Speaker 1: the days they had hay and mud, and that's what

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Speaker 1: he and I would have done what you did, though,

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Speaker 1: I would have I would have definitely youtubed it first

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Speaker 1: to try and see, like, can I figure this out

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Speaker 1: with no shame and why? Because that that the what

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Speaker 1: ads are now showing up in your Instagram feeding Google search.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to think about it. I've got all

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Speaker 1: sorts of Rhodo router. I've got the toilet snakes popping

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Speaker 1: up now. I mean, the worst part about is when

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Speaker 1: you plunge and a little spray comes out, because it does.

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Speaker 1: This was and I don't know if you get like Danielle,

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Speaker 1: do you have like a powder room that is for guests? Okay,

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Speaker 1: so we have a powder room that Heather wanted. How

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Speaker 1: much money do you have the have a powder room

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Speaker 1: for getting Well, it's just the bathroom on the first

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Speaker 1: floor because we have two full bathrooms upstairs. So this

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Speaker 1: is just like the toilet and the sink. But she

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Speaker 1: wanted it to look fancy, so they put wall she

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Speaker 1: put wallpaper up. I'm like, I can't plunge too hard

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Speaker 1: because I got wallpaper up here. Yeah, you can't do that.

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Speaker 1: It's it's just a mess. And it was the weekend,

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Speaker 1: so if you called the plumber on the weekend and

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Speaker 1: you probably wouldn't get the until the end of the night. Well, anyways,

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Speaker 1: two hours later, finally got it down, So good for you.

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Speaker 1: We need to start collecting a list of like handy people,

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Speaker 1: so that when we're in these situations we have a

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Speaker 1: friend of the show who we can call an unclogged

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Speaker 1: your toilet or deliver a vaccine to your house. Whatever

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Speaker 1: we have, Like we have the cop on the show,

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Speaker 1: like we needed something, we need for everything something Well,

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Speaker 1: I think I think our cop, the one that we

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Speaker 1: all used to go to all the time. I think

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Speaker 1: you retired you need Yes, he's a cop again up north. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but he's part time. He can't help us with. I

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Speaker 1: got guys for everything. Garrett does have a guy for

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Speaker 1: I got toilet guys I got I got dentist guys

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Speaker 1: and women. I got whatever you need. I'm like the

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Speaker 1: Mary Poppins of guys. Do you have an exotic animal, guy?

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Speaker 1: I got a dog animal guy. If you need animal,

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Speaker 1: I have an exotic animal A month ago. I got

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Speaker 1: a guy a month ago. Carpaccio monkeys that note by

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Speaker 1: everybody The Fifteen Minute Morning Show