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Speaker 1: The Black Effect Presents features honest conversations and exclusive interviews,

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Speaker 1: a space for artists, everyday people and listeners to amplify, elevate,

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Speaker 1: and empower Black voices with great conversations. Make sure to

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Speaker 1: listen to The Black Effect Presents podcast on I Heart Radio,

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Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. We've all

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Speaker 1: felt left out and for people who moved to this country,

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Speaker 1: that feeling last more than a moment. We can change that.

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Speaker 1: Learn how it belonging begins with us dot org. Brought

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Speaker 1: to you by the Ad Council, Piece of the planet, Charlemagne,

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Speaker 1: the God here and you don't want to miss Hello

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Speaker 1: Somebody with Senator Nina Turner on the Black Effect podcast Network.

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Speaker 1: I love Hello Somebody simply because I love Nina Turner.

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Speaker 1: She's fearless. I'm Nina Turner, hell raising, humanitarian, sister in

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Speaker 1: the struggle and recovering elected official. Send to Hello Somebody

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Speaker 1: every Thursday on the Heart Radio app, Apple podcast or

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Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Money Making Conversations.

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Speaker 1: It's the show that she has the secrets of success

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Speaker 1: experience firsthand by marketing and Brandon expert Rashan McDonald I

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Speaker 1: will know he's giving me advice on many occasions. In

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Speaker 1: occasion didn't notice I'm not broke. You know. He'll be

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Speaker 1: interviewing celebrity CEOs, entrepreneurs and industry decision makers. It's what

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Speaker 1: he likes to do. It's what he likes to share.

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Speaker 1: Now it's time to hear from my man, Rashan McDonald,

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Speaker 1: money making conversations. Here we come. Welcome to the money

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Speaker 1: making Conversation. I am your host, Rashan McDonald. I say

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Speaker 1: this every week on my show. It's time to stop

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Speaker 1: reading other people's success stories and start writing your own.

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Speaker 1: And people you're talking about gifts to talk about passion.

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Speaker 1: If you have a gift, lead with your gift and

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Speaker 1: don't let your age, friend, family, or coworkers stop you

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Speaker 1: from planning or living your dreams. By of views for you,

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Speaker 1: whether you're consumer or every day for the hour week

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Speaker 1: guy who works her job, a young lady, a business owner,

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Speaker 1: because I give you access to celebrities, ceo, entrepreneurs and

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Speaker 1: what I like to call industry decision makers. My next

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Speaker 1: guest is Tracy McMillan. She's a relationship expert, television writer

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Speaker 1: or do an author whose credits include Madmen, one of

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Speaker 1: my favorite shows, Good Girls, Revoked, Marvel's Runaways, I love

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Speaker 1: anything that's Marvel related, and United States of Tara, which

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Speaker 1: is outstanding. She's the author of three books, that memoir

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Speaker 1: I Love You and I'm Leaving You Anyway, or novel

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Speaker 1: multiple Listings, and the relationship book While You're Not Married

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Speaker 1: Dot Dot Dot. Yet she's on the show because she's

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Speaker 1: the host of owns popular Family or Fiance, Family of

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Speaker 1: Fiance right there. You know there's a choice where the

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Speaker 1: couples have to make a decision, family or fiance. Please

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Speaker 1: work with the money making conversations. Tracy macmillan, Hello, Tracy.

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Speaker 1: You're fantastic looking individual, your ma. You command the screen,

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Speaker 1: and you are a writer. I am first and foremost.

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Speaker 1: Talk about that, talk about being that, that producer, that

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Speaker 1: creative sort, because when you write, you tend to be

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Speaker 1: about yourself a lot unless you're in the writer for you.

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Speaker 1: That's true. So I started out in journalism. I worked

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Speaker 1: in broadcast journalism for sixteen years. I and you know

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Speaker 1: the thing about being a writer and starting in journalism

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Speaker 1: in particular broadcast, is that you're not writing because you're

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Speaker 1: feeling inspired. You're writing because there's a deadline and you

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Speaker 1: need to get hit your deadline end of story. And

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Speaker 1: so I feel like that was really great background for

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Speaker 1: me because I'm not waiting it's for something to happen.

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Speaker 1: I'm just doing it um as far as writing is concerned,

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Speaker 1: because you know, procrastination is a really big part of

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Speaker 1: writing potentially, and if you don't make yourself do it,

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Speaker 1: it just doesn't happen. Well. The poem also is that

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Speaker 1: because you hear very much term like writer's block the

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Speaker 1: times about the creative direction. But when I read off

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Speaker 1: your credits, and it's important that you understand why I

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Speaker 1: read them all because they are basically shows where I

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Speaker 1: when I started my writing career Steve Harvey, Me and

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Speaker 1: the Boys, and then went over the Parenthood with Robert

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Speaker 1: Townsend or Seniors Hall sitcom, uh, Sister Sister with the

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Speaker 1: Twins Tia and Tomorrow Maori, and then Jamie Fox Show

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Speaker 1: and The Parkers. All those were urban sitcoms. So I

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Speaker 1: was kind of pigeonhole, you know, if I if I

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Speaker 1: try to write a specscript, they said, uh, to try

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Speaker 1: to get all the jaredstime Field type show or home

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Speaker 1: improvement type show. I had to write those type of specs.

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Speaker 1: How did you get into the writer's game? And let's

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Speaker 1: talk about the different uh fields opportunities you've been given

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Speaker 1: as a writer, because you go from drama to sci

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Speaker 1: fi to uh really interesting platform of writing. Sometimes I

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Speaker 1: feel very lucky, like I'm the Tom Hanks of television writers,

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Speaker 1: Like I just get to do all these different things.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know how I got lucky that way,

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Speaker 1: but I will tell you how I started. So I

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Speaker 1: had I knew one person in the business. It was

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Speaker 1: a mom friend of mine. We had met on a

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Speaker 1: blind mom playdate. This friend of mine said, oh, I

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Speaker 1: met this mom. I think you'd like her. So we

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Speaker 1: went out and our kids were like two, My kids

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Speaker 1: now twenty four. So we're talking and I'm like, so,

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Speaker 1: what are you about. You know I'm living in Los Angeles.

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Speaker 1: She's like, oh, I'm a television writer. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I've always secretly wanted to do that. How do you

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Speaker 1: do that? And she said, well, basically, you have a

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Speaker 1: protagonist and they have a problem. They get themselves up

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Speaker 1: a tree, they try to solve their problem, They get

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Speaker 1: themselves further up the tree. They try to solve the problem.

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Speaker 1: Again and they fall out of the tree and then

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Speaker 1: that's basically the end of the episode. There's a little

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Speaker 1: epilogue after that. That's it. And I went, okay, that's good.

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Speaker 1: So I went off and I wrote two spec scripts

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Speaker 1: with not even knowing what I was doing. This isn't

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Speaker 1: like the year two thousand. I wrote a Dharmind Greg

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Speaker 1: and a M. Drew Carey and popula. But and so

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Speaker 1: I showed them to her and she said, Wow, everyone

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Speaker 1: thinks they can do my job, but you actually could

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Speaker 1: now in a perfect story, that would be it. I

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Speaker 1: got a job. I didn't get a job. In fact,

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Speaker 1: I went, okay, that's nice to know. But I'm like

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Speaker 1: very busy being a mom, and I didn't have the

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Speaker 1: self esteem. I had a lot of stuff I had

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Speaker 1: to work on internally before I was going to be

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Speaker 1: able to say yes to that kind of career move

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Speaker 1: or that life. Um. So I got busy with all

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Speaker 1: that work, not even knowing that's what I was doing.

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Speaker 1: And the opportunity came around again in two thousand five.

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Speaker 1: So five years later, I I was going through a

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Speaker 1: big my ending of my third marriage. I was in

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Speaker 1: a real soul searching moment and I decided to write something,

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Speaker 1: a drama of a movie to my way through the process,

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Speaker 1: and when I was done with it, I sent it

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Speaker 1: to this woman. We weren't close because her career had

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Speaker 1: taken off and um, but she was like, I know

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Speaker 1: you can write, so I'll send it to my agent

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Speaker 1: and he likes it, I'll call you and if he doesn't,

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Speaker 1: he won't. And eight months later he called me and

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Speaker 1: that was the beginning. And it took another year after

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Speaker 1: that to get my first job. But once I started,

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Speaker 1: and at that time, I was forty two, so I

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Speaker 1: was like the wrong age, the wrong color, went to

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Speaker 1: the wrong school, the wrong everything. But it did not matter.

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Speaker 1: There was still room for me. Well, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: really interesting that big lesson. I always tell people like, um,

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Speaker 1: I found myself my voice in my forties. You know,

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Speaker 1: despite success, I had a success that people considered was incredible.

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Speaker 1: I really didn't. Um, I guess you have the confidence,

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Speaker 1: a clipse of direction that I could do that. So

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Speaker 1: the reason I bring that up because a lot of

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Speaker 1: people limit theirselves when he hit a certain age. You know,

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Speaker 1: they don't do it in twenties or the thirties. Day

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Speaker 1: all time is up. I can't do it and what

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Speaker 1: you and I are saying and our forties, we found

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Speaker 1: our voice, and we found our voice. Basically, our careers

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Speaker 1: took off, and it took off because we finally believed

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Speaker 1: in each other. You know, I was still I was

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Speaker 1: managing Steve Harvey at the time, and and we was

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Speaker 1: in l A and I was making some decisions, positive decisions.

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Speaker 1: But again I was had written all these sitcoms. You know,

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Speaker 1: we've done all these concerts, sold them my nationwide. But

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Speaker 1: in the end, I had thrown myself into a world

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Speaker 1: that I was successful. I didn't understand. And so with that,

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Speaker 1: insecurities are there even though your chieve success. So you

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Speaker 1: overcame your security insecurities. And so you walk into a

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Speaker 1: writer's room first time only talk about the experience. Well,

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Speaker 1: my first writer's room. Everybody went around the table and

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Speaker 1: they were introducing themselves and each they had a lot

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Speaker 1: of them had come from the West Wing because the

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Speaker 1: show runner had run the West Wing. They are incredibly smart.

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Speaker 1: Hery established very successful TV writers and you know it's

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Speaker 1: very common for those people to have gone to Ivy

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Speaker 1: League schools, specifically Harvard, and so they each go around

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Speaker 1: and there's twelve writers on the show, and literally the

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Speaker 1: first nine writers, I'll say, you know, I went to

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Speaker 1: Harvard or whatever, and my dad's a doctor, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, this was when I first realized that television

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Speaker 1: writers disproportionately have dads who are doctors. So anyway you

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Speaker 1: get to me and I'm like, well, I went to

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Speaker 1: the University of Utah and my dad's in federal prison.

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Speaker 1: It was like, okay, but there was a way in

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Speaker 1: which that I was owning it and that it was

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Speaker 1: just like I was like, all right, And from really

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Speaker 1: even before that, I had learned that the things that

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Speaker 1: I thought were the most um not necessarily shameful, but

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Speaker 1: the things that I thought I would be least understood for,

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Speaker 1: which is my hostory as a foster child, my dad

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Speaker 1: in prison, you know, all these things, my mom a prostitute,

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Speaker 1: like all these things turned out to be the things

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Speaker 1: that Hollywood loved me for. They not get enough of

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Speaker 1: my story with my three husbands and everything that had

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Speaker 1: gone on. So it's the other big lesson was just

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Speaker 1: to lean into who you are, because who you are

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Speaker 1: is perfect for whatever dream is on your heart. It's

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Speaker 1: finally here, the season of celebration and no matter how

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Speaker 1: reis magos or Karamu lighting the Manura, are going to

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Speaker 1: midnight mass, Coals has just what you need to make

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Speaker 1: true magic of a forest. It's a storybook world for them.

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Speaker 1: You look and see a tree, They see the wrinkled

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Speaker 1: face of a wizard with arms outstretched to the sky.

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Speaker 1: They see treasure and pebbles. They see a windy path

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Speaker 1: And we're live here outside the Perez family home, just

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Speaker 1: This morning is coming out the front door, strong with

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Speaker 1: Daughter is bringing up the rear. Oh but the diaper

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Speaker 1: bag wasn't closed. Diapers and toys are everywhere. Oh but

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Speaker 1: the toddler. And now the eldest daughter, who looks to

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Speaker 1: booster seat. Dad zips the bag clothes and they're off.

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Speaker 1: But looks like Mom doesn't realize her coffee cup is

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Speaker 1: still on the roof of the car, and there it goes.

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Speaker 1: That's a shame that mug was a fan favorite. Don't

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Speaker 1: sweat the small stuff, just nailed the big stuff, like

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Speaker 1: making sure your kids are buckled correctly in the right seat.

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Speaker 1: For their agent's eyes. Learn more n h t s

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Speaker 1: A dot gov slash the right Seat visits h s

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Speaker 1: A dot gov slash the Right Seat brought to you

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Speaker 1: by Mitza and the ad Council. Well, you know, I

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Speaker 1: really first of all, your honesty is what also is

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Speaker 1: your blessing? Okay, because a lot of people high from

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Speaker 1: their background, high from because they feel that maybe damaging

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Speaker 1: to the opportunity. And like I said, you know, if

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Speaker 1: you working for IBM, if you're working for Google's problem

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Speaker 1: isn't matter anymore now because everybody's like to be yourself

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Speaker 1: where what you want to wear. That type attitude nowadays,

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Speaker 1: but back then, when you're talking about trying to break

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Speaker 1: into an industry, that's true. I've been in these writer's

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Speaker 1: room and you were in for a drama. That's to me.

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Speaker 1: Sitcom has always had a lot of writers dramas. And

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Speaker 1: you said he was a room with twelve people. That's

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Speaker 1: a lot of writers. That was the end of the

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Speaker 1: old era. It literally was the very end of the

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Speaker 1: old era two thousand and seven. And then we had

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Speaker 1: the writer's strike and from that point on, the writer's

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Speaker 1: ship was like six people, right, and so was just

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Speaker 1: letting everybody know there was a transition period because in

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Speaker 1: sitcoms you need more writers because of the fact you're

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Speaker 1: pitching jokes and you're pitching a faster moon moving process

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Speaker 1: and so you so you need people not to burn

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Speaker 1: out and not to be pitching the same jokes. But

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Speaker 1: in dramas, it's really tied to the emotion of the writer,

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Speaker 1: and you can shape the moment and the scene and

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Speaker 1: all that. Now I'm gonna sitcom guy, you're a drama person,

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Speaker 1: that's your first writer's job. Then you get then you

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Speaker 1: realize you can do this. That's just what I want

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Speaker 1: to talk about. People. You're talking to Tracy McMillan. She

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Speaker 1: is the host of Family or Fiance, which is on

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Speaker 1: own network. We're going to talk about that in a minute,

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Speaker 1: which an amazing show, but often the mark on my

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Speaker 1: show and say, people say, how did they get there?

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Speaker 1: How did she get that opportunity? How did she overcome

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Speaker 1: the odds? She just told you, you you know, you know,

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Speaker 1: the premise is that she from you. She graduated from Utah,

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Speaker 1: her dad from went to prison, her mom was a prostitute,

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Speaker 1: but she didn't limit that cell limit her opportunities. Foster child,

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Speaker 1: and all those are negatives. How do you start sliding

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Speaker 1: those negatives Tracy into a positive side of the box.

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Speaker 1: I think it's really about understanding and embracing that if

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Speaker 1: this is your story, it's for good, and that everything

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Speaker 1: is happening for you, not to you, you know. I mean,

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Speaker 1: the fact of the matter is, I had some amazing

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Speaker 1: posture homes. Like I always say, um, there's one version

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Speaker 1: of my life where I got born and then my

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Speaker 1: mother gave me up at three months and I was

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Speaker 1: abandoned and victimized, you know. Um, but there's another story

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Speaker 1: where I got born. I took a look around and

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Speaker 1: I said I can do better than this, and I

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Speaker 1: got out of there and I started getting exposed to

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Speaker 1: some different things at the age of three months. So

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Speaker 1: it's all about how you free as I'm concerned, right,

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Speaker 1: I see animation in your future too, because you're just

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Speaker 1: have a really huge bine of animation, and what in

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Speaker 1: my future animation? Animation? Okay, I just say yes to everything.

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Speaker 1: I remember people used to say to me many years ago,

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Speaker 1: and TV News and you're like, you know what you

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Speaker 1: should know, Oprah, you should have your own show. I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, what I probably should like that sounds good.

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Speaker 1: I was not saying no to anything. I was just like,

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Speaker 1: all right, yeah, I'm done with that. Even though I

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Speaker 1: think it's not about looking at the how. You have

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Speaker 1: to take your focus off the how and keep your

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Speaker 1: focus on the what and then raise your own vibration

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Speaker 1: to where you're matching whatever it is that you want.

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Speaker 1: And I know that sounds kind of woo woo. The

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Speaker 1: other thing I'll say is I kind of work harder

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Speaker 1: than other people. Like I get a tremendous amount of

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Speaker 1: work done. I crank out the writing, like there was

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Speaker 1: a period of eight years where I wrote three books.

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Speaker 1: I was on a whole bunch of TV shows, like

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Speaker 1: it was I mean as a writer. And then I

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Speaker 1: ended up writing this piece that went viral and it

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Speaker 1: was on the Huffington Post. Maybe it was the most

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Speaker 1: read for almost three years. It just turned into this

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Speaker 1: huge thing. And all it was was me sitting down

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Speaker 1: to write my truth as though nobody was watching, and

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Speaker 1: I put it in the Huffington Post and the rest

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Speaker 1: is history. And that's where this on air career came from. Now,

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Speaker 1: the thing is is I've gone to broadcast journalism school,

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Speaker 1: I've worked in TV news for sixteen years. I knew

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Speaker 1: what to do. I had just been saying no to

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Speaker 1: on camera my whole life because I was like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I'm a virgo. I like being behind the scenes.

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of a weirdly um internal. I know I

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Speaker 1: look like I'm an extrovert, but actually I'm sort of bookish.

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Speaker 1: I just want to read and be back here and

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Speaker 1: have nobody to pay attention to me. Um So, there

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Speaker 1: was a part of me that didn't want to do it.

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Speaker 1: But you know, the God or the universe what I

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Speaker 1: want to call it, divine intelligence, spirit, whatever the plan is,

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Speaker 1: that that's gonna happen. It doesn't really matter what you say.

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Speaker 1: What grows in the forest trees, Sure you know what

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Speaker 1: else grows in the forest, Our imagination, our sense of wonder,

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Speaker 1: and our family bonds grow too, because when we disconnect

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Speaker 1: from this and connect with this, we reconnect with each other.

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Speaker 1: The forest is closer than you think. Find a forest

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Speaker 1: near you and start exploring. I Discover the Forest dot Org.

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Speaker 1: Brought to you by the United States for Service and

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Speaker 1: the AD Council. If I could be you and you

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Speaker 1: could be me, for just one hour. If you could

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Speaker 1: find a way to get inside each other's mind. Walk

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Speaker 1: a mile in my shoes, wac a mile in my shoes. Shoes.

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Speaker 1: We've all felt left out, and for some that feeling

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Speaker 1: lasts more than a moment. We can change that. Learn

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Speaker 1: how it belonging begins with us. Dot org brought to

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Speaker 1: you by the ad Council. Walcome mile in machines. Look

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Speaker 1: to your children's eyes to see the true magic of

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Speaker 1: a forest. It's a storybook world for them. You look

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Speaker 1: and see a tree, They see the wrinkled face of

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Speaker 1: a wizard with arms outstretched to the sky. They see

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Speaker 1: treasure and pebbles. They see a windy path that could

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Speaker 1: lead to adventure, and they see you. They're fearless. Guide.

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Speaker 1: Is this fascinating world? Find a forest near you and

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Speaker 1: start exploring at this over the forest. Dot org brought

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Speaker 1: to you by the United States Force Service and the Council. Right,

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Speaker 1: we know some you know, someituation when I when I

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Speaker 1: looked at you, you know, my one of my gifts

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Speaker 1: is just a perception, and I just recognized people were

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Speaker 1: not and I really could I can basically said I

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Speaker 1: don't need to talk to you because I just know

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Speaker 1: who you are. You know, based on my when I

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Speaker 1: look at you when I watched the shows, you have

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Speaker 1: a zen about you, and it's a it's a zin

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Speaker 1: that you know, it's like a sixties types z in,

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Speaker 1: which is a laid back but very confident, but very

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Speaker 1: relaxed personality, which means that did I have any defenses,

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Speaker 1: you immediately relax them so that when and that was

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Speaker 1: important to me to see that. Because you're in a

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Speaker 1: relationship expert. How did you become a relationship scepert? We

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Speaker 1: talk about your life, We talked about the writers, you

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Speaker 1: talked about that story didn't helping them post, but a

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Speaker 1: relationship expert? How did that happen? Well, it happened because

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Speaker 1: I made so many mistakes in my relationships. And then

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Speaker 1: I'm the kind of person who is going to take

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Speaker 1: a mistake and go, Okay, what did I do around here?

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Speaker 1: Like what do I need to learn? How am I

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Speaker 1: here to up level? You know? Um, that's just my nature.

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Speaker 1: So as I learned things, naturally, I would just start

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Speaker 1: talking to people about them. I worked in newsrooms, as

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Speaker 1: I said, for many years. Newsrooms are rooms with sixty

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Speaker 1: people all having trouble in their relationships. You know, I'm

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Speaker 1: just kidding, but you would naturally be the conversations where

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Speaker 1: I'm talking to the reporters or the other writers about

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Speaker 1: their love relationships when I'm supposed to be doing my

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Speaker 1: real job and they would be helped. They'd be like,

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Speaker 1: while you're really helping me. And a lot of it

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Speaker 1: was all the things that I was learning because I say,

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Speaker 1: I'm the jail house lawyer of relationship experts. I had

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Speaker 1: to do so much work on my own keys. Now

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Speaker 1: I can help you with yours. And the other thing

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Speaker 1: about me is I'm not the person who got married

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Speaker 1: once and has been married thirty years. I'm still working

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Speaker 1: it out, and I think people can feel non judgment

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Speaker 1: and they relate to somebody who's still working on it

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Speaker 1: even though they've made a lot of mistakes as I have,

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Speaker 1: and I don't carry shame around it. I cary forgiveness

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Speaker 1: for myself, compassion for other people. I really think it's

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Speaker 1: just like relationships are a spiritual path and that if

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Speaker 1: you allow them to, they will grow you, unlike any

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Speaker 1: other aspect of your life. So that just became where

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Speaker 1: I was releasing. My gifts were that I could understand

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Speaker 1: what's going on with people's relationships? And then I had

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Speaker 1: all this sort of I'm a big reader, and um,

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Speaker 1: you know, I teach myself a lot. I basically sort

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Speaker 1: of a self taught marriage and family therapist. Now I

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Speaker 1: always am in therapy and like my current therapist. And

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Speaker 1: sometimes they'll be like, wow, that's really good. Can I

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Speaker 1: use that? You have whatever you want? You know, I

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Speaker 1: managed Steve are. We we released the book Act like

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Speaker 1: a Lady, Think like a man. It's sold three million copies.

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Speaker 1: And again you know, people threw whom in that box

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Speaker 1: of relationship expert? Yeah he did, and then he immediately

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Speaker 1: here is where hell he can't keep on marriage going? Okay,

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Speaker 1: how can you tell me what's going on in my life?

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Speaker 1: And then of course your situation. You know, you've had

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Speaker 1: three divorces in your life, so that's a negative, but

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Speaker 1: also it's that's a positive too, correct. I mean I

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Speaker 1: always say, you learn more from failure than you do

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Speaker 1: from success, if you're there for the lesson. Now, the

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Speaker 1: other thing is is that I've learned. So I got

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Speaker 1: married at nineteen, I got married at thirty two, and

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Speaker 1: I got married at For you, I have not been

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Speaker 1: married in sixteen years. I learned my lesson right, I

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Speaker 1: stopped getting married, I stopped moving in with people. Now

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Speaker 1: for the that is just shifting now. So I've been

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Speaker 1: very um rigorous with myself about what I need to

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Speaker 1: learn and not repeat eating the same mistake. Now we

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Speaker 1: should shifting now we should we when you said shifting now,

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Speaker 1: what did you mean when you said shifting? Now? I

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Speaker 1: am in a relationship together, and that's it's okay. So

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Speaker 1: what we gotta do is in the fall, I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: a reach back. We're gonna be my shows here every

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Speaker 1: six I think you know, you got to be my

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Speaker 1: six month interview. Six months, will check in and find

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Speaker 1: out the relations You're gonna help me out and help

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Speaker 1: you out because I've been I've been blessed. I've been

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Speaker 1: married thirty three years, and you know, in that whole process,

425
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,120
Speaker 1: there hasn't been rosy along the way, and they're being

426
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: near catastrophes along the way. But you know, being that

427
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: that that is my hook, my claim to fame in

428
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 1: the relationship. I've been able to hold it together. Now,

429
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 1: your claim to fame right now is on own. It's

430
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: a show called Family of Fiance And I laugh a

431
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 1: little bit because the fact that, uh, you know, you know,

432
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 1: family does play a role. And let's let me give

433
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,639
Speaker 1: everybody to the premise of Family or Fiance It's own

434
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 1: own Network, hosted by Tracy McMillan. One engaged couple, to

435
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:10,479
Speaker 1: families who object, One engaged couple, two families who object,

436
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,520
Speaker 1: three days under one roof and a wedding on the line.

437
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:18,719
Speaker 1: Will they earn their families blessing? I'll be forced to

438
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 1: choose Family or Fiance. How did you get involved with

439
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 1: this project? Well, I got a call, so I did

440
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 1: Oprah Super Soul Sunday and that was a great experience.

441
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 1: And then, uh, probably three years maybe more later, I

442
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,680
Speaker 1: got a call that own wanted to do this show

443
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 1: called Family or Fiance and I was like, okay, and

444
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 1: would I come in and meet? And so I came

445
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 1: in and I met, and really from that first day,

446
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 1: I really just felt like, Wow, they're the specific things

447
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 1: that I know about, and I'm here to do I

448
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 1: can do those things. Is here and really our show

449
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:06,919
Speaker 1: is about healing families. It's about setting up couples for

450
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: really the deep work of bridge and um, you know,

451
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 1: people learn. It's it's an incredible show. Every episode gets

452
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 1: me chills at least fun because these couples are so

453
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 1: courageous and these families are so courageous and courageous you

454
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 1: see people who don't want to do the work. Courageous

455
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,640
Speaker 1: or outrageous. We can put the word outrageous in there too,

456
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 1: because some of the things some outrageousness because coming in

457
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 1: with a set mind, you know, set this, or set attitude,

458
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 1: that's where I come about. And but here's the thing

459
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:46,959
Speaker 1: I like about the show and just what I love

460
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 1: about you, and I'm so happy I'm interviewing you. It's

461
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 1: your personality. Like I said, it's so disarming, and I

462
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 1: think it's important for this type of show because it's

463
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,080
Speaker 1: not a combative show. I'm just let you, I'm just

464
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 1: tell you, guys, when you watch this show. Um, she

465
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 1: almost I want to use the word disappears, but she

466
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,120
Speaker 1: kind of like goes into the fabric of the show.

467
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 1: She said, to everything and every and so we allow

468
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 1: ourselves to see the problem. We allow ourselves to see

469
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 1: the couple's work through the problems, and we allow ourselves

470
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,399
Speaker 1: to find out maybe they are the problem. And that's

471
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,399
Speaker 1: part of what this show was about because We're not

472
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 1: trying to point a finger. That's why that was my

473
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: greatest take aware of your show, Tracy, you know, which

474
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 1: is a which is a family of fiance, which is

475
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: don't own network, is that you're not here to be Uh,

476
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 1: you're wrong, you're right, But the resolve issues that make

477
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,159
Speaker 1: this couple lasts a long time. And that's the purpose

478
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 1: of getting married. You don't get married to get a

479
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 1: di vorce. You get married to to you know, to

480
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 1: death do its part. That is the premise of marriage.

481
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,680
Speaker 1: To talk about, am I missing the points of of

482
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 1: what you're trying to do in the show. And I

483
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:57,479
Speaker 1: think that's part of my approach to relationship coaching is

484
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: that I already know from being a girlfriend, you know,

485
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:05,160
Speaker 1: being just the ff with people. Nobody can tell anybody

486
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: anything what I'm saying. No one ever changed their behavior

487
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 1: in a relationship because their friends said, girl, you're going

488
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 1: down the wrong path. That's not how it works. How

489
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 1: it works is you allow people to come to their

490
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 1: own conclusion. You give them the dignity of their own process,

491
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,959
Speaker 1: and you just hold up the mirror and you hold

492
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,920
Speaker 1: a space. It's almost like parenting. You hold a space

493
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:33,200
Speaker 1: for this person who has decided to come on the show.

494
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 1: So you know, the willingness is there at some level,

495
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 1: and you got what is inside of them, Pull them

496
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 1: across the finish line, pull them into the change. Not

497
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 1: me being sassy. You know what I'm saying that I'm

498
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:52,119
Speaker 1: just a facilitator. The real healing is the couples and

499
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 1: the families themselves. We know the interesting fun point because

500
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 1: I have to use the word fun, it's entertainment, a

501
00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:01,640
Speaker 1: social ye know that we get to see is that

502
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:06,120
Speaker 1: just to see the journey of black reality shows? Yes,

503
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 1: you know, and you know what I'm saying, child, it

504
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 1: was one time, you know, you threw a glass, you

505
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 1: cutt somebody out, you punch them in the face, and

506
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,920
Speaker 1: that's a black reality show. They talk, you know, Jerry

507
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 1: Springer Springer on Black Sterars. That's where our reality shows work.

508
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 1: And so you you being invited into this environment, did

509
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: you have any uh any uh questions about what type

510
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 1: of what type of premise we're doing with this? Because

511
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,680
Speaker 1: you're not gonna get involved. I mean I could tell

512
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 1: from the first meeting with the producers, and you know

513
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 1: just what owned the network is about, what Obrah Winfrey

514
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 1: is about it's like we were here for what is

515
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 1: highest in people. I'm here for what highest and me

516
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: I want the couples to be here for what's the

517
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,479
Speaker 1: highest in themselves and each other and the families. So

518
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: that's the space I'm holding. Um, that doesn't mean people

519
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: aren't gonna act outrageous at times say well that's how

520
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: blore because people are you know, humans, they do that.

521
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 1: But um, we're not sitting here. That's not the level

522
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 1: that we're um resting in. That's just a place people

523
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 1: sometimes go. And but I'd say that our show it

524
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:23,560
Speaker 1: people grow, people heal, and it's real. The look in

525
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 1: their eyes when we take the family photo at the

526
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 1: very end we do the blessing ceremony, that we go outside,

527
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: immediately take the family photo, and the look that they

528
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 1: give me is always, even if the relationship fell apart,

529
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 1: even if things didn't get fully resolved, the look in

530
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 1: their eyes, whether it's family or the couples, is thank you.

531
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 1: And I always want to say, it's not me, I'm

532
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 1: just the channel. I'm just here. You did the black

533
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 1: my background, the stand up coming. I started out of

534
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 1: stand up comedy, and when I look at you, I'm

535
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,959
Speaker 1: almost wantly, you know, because she's Tracy mc She has

536
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 1: a very popular Ted act she did called with the

537
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:07,880
Speaker 1: Person You Really Need to Marry Wildly When Wildly viral

538
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 1: and you can find it a live Tracy McMillan tedexs

539
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 1: talk the Person you Really need to Marry and when,

540
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 1: And watching that, I felt like I was watching a monologue.

541
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 1: I felt like I was watching without the jokes. Now

542
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 1: you know you know this, but it felt like I

543
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 1: was being entertained and carried on a journey. That's what

544
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 1: great comedians do, whether you Dave CHAPPELLEO, Steve Harvey or

545
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 1: Chris Rock, they tell a story to take you on

546
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 1: a journey. And even talking to you now, I feel

547
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 1: myself being caught up into the mystique, the aura of

548
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 1: Tracy McMillan. What is that Tracy before we wrapp or

549
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 1: what is that about you? You? You know it's real,

550
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 1: you know it's real. Come on, I don't know. You

551
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 1: know what my dad would say, it's the McMillan chime

552
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 1: to say that. He's like, it's that McMillan chime. Not

553
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 1: necessarily about me. He's probably talking about himself. But you

554
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 1: do have you do have an it you do have

555
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 1: an IT factor? Correct, I don't know. You know, one time,

556
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 1: thirty years ago, I was in New York and I

557
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 1: was I was living in New York and I was

558
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 1: looking for an apartment and it was a roommate situation.

559
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 1: And this girl, I'll never forget it, she said to me,

560
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 1: after like ten minutes of visiting, she goes, You're a star.

561
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 1: And I remember thinking, what is she talking about, you know,

562
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: because that is not how I saw myself. But it's

563
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 1: interesting that I remember that. And so I'm willing to

564
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 1: be a star if it's here. I'm here to use

565
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 1: whatever for the good. And if that's you know, I

566
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 1: feel like I know my purpose. And sometimes I say,

567
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 1: you know what, I wasn't gonna be on TV, but

568
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: God gave me TV hair And so you just have

569
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: to surrender that you have and be like, all right,

570
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 1: I'm here TVC and you got a lot going on there.

571
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 1: Tracy McMillan, I want to say this about you. Thank

572
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 1: you for coming on the show. You you know, you

573
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 1: do have the r do you do have the if factor?

574
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 1: And more important to the host of a hit shown

575
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 1: own called Family or Fiance, You're wonderful. Remember every six months.

576
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 1: We're gonna do our check in trades every six months

577
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 1: because you're wonderful, continue to write on those dramas and

578
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 1: changing the game and actually changing the game of television.

579
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: You are a This is a positive word. You are

580
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,479
Speaker 1: a beast. And the key to your success is you

581
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 1: said it. I work hard, and you all work people,

582
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 1: and everybody that I've known who's a very top of

583
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 1: the game star, that's the same thing they said over

584
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 1: and over. You're not gonna out work. When you can

585
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 1: talk to Kevin Hard You're not gonna out of work,

586
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: Steven A. Smith. You're not gonna out to work, Stephen,

587
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 1: Steve Harvey, You're not gonna work into these guys, Washington,

588
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: Samuel Jackson. So hard work is always applied to longevity

589
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: and you have it. And congratulations. Okay, thank you appreciate.

590
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: If you will see you here. Any interviews I do

591
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 1: on Money Making Conversation, please go to Money Making Conversation

592
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 1: dot com. I'm wis Sean McDonald. I am your host.

593
00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 1: In this season of giving, Cools has gifts for all

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598
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599
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Speaker 1: Give with all your heart this season with great gifts

600
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Speaker 1: from calls or Calls dot Com. There's a monumental shift

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602
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Speaker 1: salaries are increasing, hiring is tough, and burnout is real.

603
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Speaker 1: Reserve your spot now. Go to Get the Plan dot

606
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Speaker 1: IDP dot com to register for the Work Interrupted Summit.

607
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Speaker 1: Adoption of teams from foster care is a topic not

608
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Speaker 1: enough people know about, and we're here to change that.

609
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 1: I'm April Dinnuity, host of the new podcast Navigating Adoption

610
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 1: presented by adopt us Kids. Each episode brings you compelling,

611
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Speaker 1: real life adoption stories told by the families that lived them,

612
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Speaker 1: with commentary from experts. Visit adopt us Kids dot org,

613
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:17,760
Speaker 1: slash podcast, or subscribe to Navigating Adoption presented by adopt

614
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Speaker 1: us Kids brought to you by the U s Department

615
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Speaker 1: of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families,

616
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:23,760
Speaker 1: and the AD Council