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Speaker 1: Oh my god, you guys. Hello everyone, Hello, how you doing?

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Speaker 1: Have you touched it? Have you touched your toes? Have

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Speaker 1: you beg your knees? Have you had enough water today?

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Speaker 1: Have you eaten something green?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Baby, she's got.

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Speaker 4: A gym energy.

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Speaker 1: So excited, everybody. Welcome to adulting. I'm Mi sheelby Toe.

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Speaker 1: That is Jordan Carlos.

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Speaker 3: You know who it is, you know what it do.

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Speaker 4: So Michelle, let's check in today. Why do you have

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Speaker 4: so much energy? What's going on? Where's it coming from.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited about our guests. To be honest, I'm excited

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Speaker 1: about our guests. But I'm also excited because it feels

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Speaker 1: like I have a small wind. It feels like I

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Speaker 1: have a small wind because all the bills are paid,

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Speaker 1: the dishwasher is empty, the cloths are fold in, Uh huh,

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Speaker 1: the kid's hair is combed. The only thing I gotta

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Speaker 1: do is get a pedicure, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: And I'm gonna get up graded pedicure. I'm gonna get

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Speaker 1: like a ten minute massage on my tia toes. We

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Speaker 1: never pay our feet enough attention, okay, and they hold

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Speaker 1: it all together, they really do.

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Speaker 5: I actually was saying that about my feet today. I

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Speaker 5: was like, my feet have had me my whole life. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: I was walking around the airport with very heavy bags

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Speaker 5: and I was just like, feet, you got me, and

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Speaker 5: feet were like I got you.

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Speaker 4: But yes, that's so weird that you say that.

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Speaker 3: Did you really have this conversation?

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Speaker 5: I literally had this conversation with my datos, with my feet,

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Speaker 5: with my pied and I was like, I was, that's

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Speaker 5: so weird that you say that. I, however, have never

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Speaker 5: gotten I've never gotten a pedicure. You know how I

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Speaker 5: battle with self worth all the time, and I'm like,

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Speaker 5: you don't deserve crap and your toes deserve less.

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Speaker 3: But You're I'm starting to use products on your face now, bruh.

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Speaker 5: I know I know my face knows. So what do

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Speaker 5: I do? I mean, walk me through it, hold my hand.

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Speaker 1: You go in, you say I'd like a pedicure. They'll

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Speaker 1: try to upsell you. Now it's like Jeffy lub. They

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Speaker 1: try to upsell you, and it's like, no, I want

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Speaker 1: the basic of the basic. And you know you can

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Speaker 1: sit in this chair and like put a little massage on.

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Speaker 1: I don't like to do it because I feel like

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Speaker 1: a jackhammer. I'm like, no, it's too much, it's too much.

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Speaker 1: But a nice little massage on your feet is wonderful

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Speaker 1: because if you look at TV shows, you read magazines,

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Speaker 1: you know, like even the morning TV shows are just

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Speaker 1: like you gotta work on your belly. This is how

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Speaker 1: you get your abs fab this is how you get

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Speaker 1: your arms strong, This is how you get rid of

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Speaker 1: like whatever we're supposed to get rid of. But we

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Speaker 1: never like celebrate and take care of certain body parts.

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Speaker 3: Right, They're just.

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Speaker 1: Supposed to look good. We don't give a shit about

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Speaker 1: how they feel. So there's nothing wrong with going and

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Speaker 1: getting a petticure in a nice little massage because we're

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Speaker 1: on our feet all the time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, all the time, even if you're not.

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Speaker 1: On your feet, Like, look, I don't know your journey.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how you live, you know, I don't

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Speaker 1: know how differently abled everybody is. But whatever that area

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Speaker 1: is for you on your body, yeah, go get it touched.

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Speaker 1: I know that sounds crazy, don't take it out of context.

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Speaker 1: What I'm trying to say is.

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Speaker 4: I already have but no, no, no, no, I mean.

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Speaker 3: I'm not trying to have a David Choe moment. Now

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Speaker 3: I'm responsible with my words.

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Speaker 4: Now I know what I means with the words. Yo,

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Speaker 4: I feel, I feel. It's like this.

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Speaker 5: I feel like there are some parts of your body.

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Speaker 5: You got your show ponies and you got your work horses.

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Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying. So if it's like your hair,

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Speaker 5: you're gonna do your hair. You're gonna you're gonna make

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Speaker 5: sure that the face is all set. But yeah, my feet,

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Speaker 5: my legs, my back, I never take care of those things.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 5: Oh, I know I'm due for a massage. When it's

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Speaker 5: about time to change the air filters in my fridge.

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Speaker 4: You know, like, oh my god, do that? Do you

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Speaker 4: change the air filters in your fridge?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 3: I think husband, Yeah, I think that's his thing.

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Speaker 1: What I do is I still have like a little

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Speaker 1: open box of baking soda in.

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Speaker 3: The fridge, and so I changed that one out. We

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Speaker 3: have her. We have our own little things that we do.

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Speaker 3: But I'm like, is that on my list? Notes on

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Speaker 3: his list?

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Speaker 4: I get a.

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Speaker 3: Massage every week.

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Speaker 4: You get a message every week?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes twice a week. I'm gonna be honest. Now,

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Speaker 1: these tests are heavy. These tists be titting, you know,

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Speaker 1: between the tits and the patriarchy. Uh, you gotta rub

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Speaker 1: it out again.

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Speaker 4: Don't take it out of content again.

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Speaker 5: Why are you leading people down the path though and

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Speaker 5: then telling them.

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Speaker 1: That I am I am not broke out.

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Speaker 4: But listen to me.

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Speaker 5: I'm just trying to keep it even keeled and above

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Speaker 5: the board. All right, let me but have a happy

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Speaker 5: ending when you're massage.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, Green Mile. What the fuck.

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Speaker 4: It's my colonel Sanders.

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Speaker 5: Have you heard about that thing where it's like there's

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Speaker 5: a bone spur growing in some people's necks because they're

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Speaker 5: holding the phone like they're just looking down at the

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Speaker 5: phone all the time.

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Speaker 3: I think I have it.

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Speaker 4: No, not you, I think I have it.

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Speaker 3: You're looking at me like I'm the girl in the

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Speaker 3: last of us. No you've been bitten.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, well you save humanity.

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Speaker 4: Listen. I want to massage twice a week like that.

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Speaker 4: How do you manage the time to do that? That's

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Speaker 4: what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I put myself first. I do everything for everybody all

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Speaker 1: the time. And I'm not just even talking about the

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Speaker 1: peripheral family. I'm not even talking about husband, kids, dogs.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: I do a lot for.

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Speaker 1: Everybody, especially when you're a performer, and it is my

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Speaker 1: joy and my paycheck to make people happy. Right, it

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Speaker 1: does sometimes feel like an emotional aspeoporosis. So I need

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Speaker 1: to take black the nights and do a little bit

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Speaker 1: for me. I know, like a lot of people are

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Speaker 1: like and I'm you know, working out, and so I'm

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Speaker 1: just trying to like be on the health game.

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Speaker 3: You know, I've never worked out to be thin.

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Speaker 5: I saw you, Miss Wellness. Yeah you were out there.

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Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, with Yams with Yaminika Saunders.

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Speaker 3: Oh ya Monika Saunders.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think there's a lot about shape people who are

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Speaker 1: nervous and anxious to get going again. Find a friend,

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Speaker 1: buy a new outfit. You'll feel five times more confident.

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Speaker 1: Just like there's a rumor that women aren't funny, there's

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Speaker 1: also there's a rumor that big people aren't healthy or

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Speaker 1: work out. And guess what we do. This is just

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Speaker 1: what our body does, this is how we look. We're

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Speaker 1: all meant to be different. So yeah, man, celebrate, celebrate yourself.

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Speaker 5: Go find this on ig because there's this great video

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Speaker 5: of Michelle and Yaminica having the most buck wile workout

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Speaker 5: I've ever seen. I was like, what what is the

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Speaker 5: workout of the day there?

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Speaker 4: What's that wid y'all are trying to do?

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Speaker 5: I mean you're doing like explosive power with the with

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Speaker 5: a barbelle she's doing she's working with with dumbbells.

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Speaker 4: What's up?

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Speaker 1: It's a full body workout. It's body sculpting right. Our

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Speaker 1: trainer is amazing and I think her ig is at

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Speaker 1: body sculpt but also workouts can be fun. It doesn't. Yes,

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Speaker 1: we're not training to be Gi Jane. We're just out here,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: So if the.

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Speaker 1: Spirit moves you and you feel like doing a little twork,

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Speaker 1: then then you must. And we did do that work

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Speaker 1: on Earth Day. So I was definitely like, these are

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Speaker 1: some homegrown, locally sourced biscuits and enjoy them because they

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Speaker 1: taste as fuck. You better celebrate yourself. Speaking of celebrating yourself,

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Speaker 1: oh my goodness, our guest for this episode is a walking, talking,

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Speaker 1: iconic celebration of power and magic. Okay, the resume. She's

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Speaker 1: an actress, a model, an advocate, do it okay, she's imposed, Yes,

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Speaker 1: among other things. She everywhere. Oh my god, that the Catwalker,

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Speaker 1: the BET Awards. I just let me just stop. She

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Speaker 1: out here and now she's here. Also excited. You guys,

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Speaker 1: we have Dominique Jackson.

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Speaker 3: Dominique Jackson, not Jesus.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. I'm not gonna lie. We are a

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Speaker 1: little nervous, Why you me?

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Speaker 6: I don't know what to say.

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Speaker 5: I have to admit because Michelle was like, have you

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Speaker 5: read the information about Dominique?

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Speaker 4: Do you know?

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Speaker 5: And I was like, actually, I already got to interview

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Speaker 5: her once before, so I've gone through the nerves.

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Speaker 4: It's all good.

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Speaker 1: I love when like people that you really love and admire,

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Speaker 1: the peripheral circles all like sort of meet each other sometimes.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, I can't believe y'all even met.

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Speaker 5: Yes, and yes, we were talking about the Lesbian Bar Project. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: and safe Space is for queer folks to get in

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Speaker 5: New York City.

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Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, yes, the Lesbian bar projects. That was amazing.

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Speaker 2: I have really got to meet and get to use

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Speaker 2: my voice a lot of times for some really amazing stuff.

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Speaker 6: That was so great. And we did get that interview.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's so cool.

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Speaker 5: We talked about going out and having fun, that's what

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Speaker 5: it was. I was like, what was your schedule? I

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Speaker 5: don't know about you. But the more vintage I become,

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Speaker 5: the earlier I go out. I used to go out

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Speaker 5: at like no one went out until like ten o'clock

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Speaker 5: or eleven o'clock at night.

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Speaker 4: I remember that in New York City.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and even then because I know you're Caribbean. My

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Speaker 1: parents from Jamaica and Haiti. So when you go to

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Speaker 1: like a Caribbean party, the door's open at ten or eleven,

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Speaker 1: but people aren't really coming out and dance until like

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Speaker 1: one am.

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Speaker 2: Well, both for the girls like myself, right, it was

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Speaker 2: women who identify such as I. It was more of

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Speaker 2: a safety issue in our heads. It's kind of crazy

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Speaker 2: because most people would think that you're safe by the

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Speaker 2: light of day. For us, you were safe by the

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Speaker 2: darkness of nine. So you were safe in one aspect,

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Speaker 2: but you were murdered and put away in another.

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Speaker 6: And so once I came to New York and I worked.

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Speaker 2: I had a job in Baltimore, was going to Morgan

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Speaker 2: State and once I was attached on campus and realized

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Speaker 2: that I had no safe space, there was no room

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Speaker 2: for education.

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Speaker 6: Then I came.

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Speaker 2: To New York and I saw a community of people

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Speaker 2: that lived happily, and when I got into it. It

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Speaker 2: was Okay, we're getting up at four or five o'clock

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Speaker 2: in the afternoon, We're getting ourselves together, we're going out

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Speaker 2: because the men are getting off work at a certain time.

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Speaker 2: Our people have more space at night, because most of

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Speaker 2: the people that would harm us are going to work

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Speaker 2: during the day. So while the rest of the world slept,

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Speaker 2: we were able to be up and live outselve.

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Speaker 6: So I know, yeah, parties don't start too late. But

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Speaker 6: there was more to it.

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Speaker 5: There's more to it than that. Yeah, it's more baked

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Speaker 5: than the cake. Yeah, was it difficult to adjust to

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Speaker 5: the nocturnal schedule?

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Speaker 4: Are you?

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Speaker 7: Like?

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Speaker 4: Are you a morning person?

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Speaker 2: Are you?

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Speaker 4: Are you a knight person? Like? What kind of person

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Speaker 4: are you these days?

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Speaker 6: These days? I'm just a person? Is that I am

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Speaker 6: just a person?

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Speaker 2: Really? My fight is for my community and for those

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Speaker 2: people women, black women, immigrants, trans women, trans women of color.

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Speaker 2: My fight is so that they know that you don't

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Speaker 2: just get to a certain point and disappear. Now, you

243
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Speaker 2: don't just blend in, because the idea was not to

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Speaker 2: blend in. The idea is to be seen and respected.

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Speaker 2: And so if I get up and I decide to

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Speaker 2: work during the day. I should be able to work

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Speaker 2: during the day if I work at night. You know,

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Speaker 2: this is how the world is really sat up. The

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Speaker 2: way that my grandmother worked, she was working at night.

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Speaker 2: Also she ran election. She was a registration officer for

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Speaker 2: the office in Tibeko. Oh yeah, so when she worked

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Speaker 2: there were times where she would work till two three

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Speaker 2: in the morning. So when I came to the US,

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Speaker 2: this is kind of funny and I saw that atmosphere

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Speaker 2: where it's like, oh my gosh, I'm waiting to get

256
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Speaker 2: off the clock. I had to adjust to that also

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Speaker 2: because working with my grandmother from a very young age,

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Speaker 2: it was never about I have to be at work

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Speaker 2: at eight o'clock and leave at five. It was I

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Speaker 2: have to be at work because I need to get

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Speaker 2: this done and this is my job. So for me,

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Speaker 2: I don't have it's a day or a night situation.

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Speaker 2: It's when the job needs to get done, it gets done,

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Speaker 2: and sleep comes.

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Speaker 6: When it's afforded.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's how you're really going to win because

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Speaker 1: that is such a like a workhorse mentality, but also

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Speaker 1: like do what you love and like you know, use

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Speaker 1: the time wisely. And I remember I have this show

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Speaker 1: coming out on Netflix called Survival of the Thickest, and

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Speaker 1: I wrote a part for you because I'm like, she

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Speaker 1: is amazing, She's boy, she's fierce.

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Speaker 3: Let's do it, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: It's like I finally have the opportunity to work with

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Speaker 1: people that I love and look up to. And when

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Speaker 1: casting told me that you would consider it, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I feel like a size sixteen. Let's go shop. I'm

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Speaker 1: a eighteen. And then they said that, oh, use, your

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Speaker 1: grandmother's birthday coming up and you have to go home

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Speaker 1: for your grandma's birthday. I said, of course, because my

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Speaker 1: character was named after my grandma and Jamaica Mavis. She's

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Speaker 1: no longer with us, but she's always with us, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I don't know about people, but I do believe

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Speaker 2: in God. And this has bothered me for the longest

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Speaker 2: that I was not able to do Survival of the Thickets. Oh,

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Speaker 2: my fiance and I it was a decision that we

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Speaker 2: were back and for for days, and I was going

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Speaker 2: to people literally and asking for advice on what to do, because,

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Speaker 2: to me, actors don't get opportunities like that, especially black transactors.

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Speaker 2: You know, and so for me, it was like Michelle

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Speaker 2: saw me, she loved me, and now I'm going to

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Speaker 2: disappoint her. And there were tears, there was everything. But

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Speaker 2: here's the thing. My grandmother turned ninety five, wow, and

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Speaker 2: they decided to have her birthday in Tobago. I had

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Speaker 2: not been back to the island for thirty two years, wow,

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Speaker 2: and everyone was going and I had not fased a

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Speaker 2: lot of my pats. When I left my island, I

300
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Speaker 2: ran because I felt that no one would help me.

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Speaker 2: And so for thirty two years, I was like, I'm

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Speaker 2: never going back, and so now I had to make

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Speaker 2: that decision.

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Speaker 6: I prayed so hard.

305
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Speaker 2: I prayed days, like God, please help me make this decision.

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Speaker 2: And my grandmother came to my house and left from

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Speaker 2: here to go to Tobago. And when I saw her,

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Speaker 2: I didn't know that she could bounce back. She was

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Speaker 2: very frail. She almost fell over going up my stairs.

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Speaker 2: And the woman that I knew was even at eighty

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Speaker 2: five ninety was strong just like going. So I was scared. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And she always said to me that I have to

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Speaker 2: come back one day.

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Speaker 6: So then I'm going back.

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Speaker 2: And one of the young men in Tobago who actually

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Speaker 2: came out who was actually having respect, was fighting for

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Speaker 2: his rights, fighting for the rights of people.

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Speaker 6: Being visible, was having a ball.

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Speaker 2: The same weekend, the first ball in Tobago. Ever, my

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Speaker 2: sister Tabitha and her husband Lewis came with us.

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Speaker 6: My fiance was like, I'm not letting you go back

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Speaker 6: and by yourself.

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Speaker 2: I have experiences on that island that are very, very,

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Speaker 2: very triggering for me.

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Speaker 6: I was molested, I was great.

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Speaker 2: There were so many things, and so this was this

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Speaker 2: support system.

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Speaker 6: And you know, my grandmother going, my mother.

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Speaker 2: Going, everyone was going to be there. I knew, and

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Speaker 2: you know how Caribbean are. I knew they would say,

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Speaker 2: you know what, this one ain't gonna ever come back here.

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Speaker 6: I had uncles that threatened.

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Speaker 2: Me and for some reason, and this I just said

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Speaker 2: to myself, I'm gonna face it. I was like, God,

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Speaker 2: I may never work in Hollywood again, because I am

336
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Speaker 2: doing something that people out there are going out hard

337
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Speaker 2: every day, working for, praying for actors, are dying to

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Speaker 2: get rolls. And here I am blessed with this opportunity

339
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Speaker 2: and I have to make this shot. And when I

340
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,560
Speaker 2: got to Tobago, it was not what I expected. My

341
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:38,280
Speaker 2: people had opened up a bit. They were very respectful.

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Speaker 2: They embraced my fiance. And when my grandmother walked into

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Speaker 2: her party and she saw me, she grabbed me and

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Speaker 2: she cried, and it was just a great brief moment,

345
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Speaker 2: and she said.

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Speaker 6: You came home.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, and she pulled herself together and went

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Speaker 2: on with the party. And I saw my grandmother go

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Speaker 2: back from that trail woman that I saw that scared me,

350
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Speaker 2: to being on her island and absorbing the energy of

351
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:08,240
Speaker 2: the earth and coming back to life and dancing at

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Speaker 2: her party and enjoying it.

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Speaker 6: There was something in me that was just so like

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Speaker 6: I was ready.

355
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Speaker 2: I am giving up so much, and I'm not gonna

356
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Speaker 2: leave this island unless I had faith and conquered everything

357
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:24,000
Speaker 2: that made me run. I saw my uncles at the party,

358
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Speaker 2: the ones that said that if they ever saw me,

359
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Speaker 2: I would never take another breath and stuff like that.

360
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,640
Speaker 2: And I saw him and he was with a cane.

361
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,399
Speaker 2: The other one with a cane could hardly stand. And

362
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Speaker 2: in my heart I saw family once again. The one

363
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:45,160
Speaker 2: that I really was careful of was my uncle Leslie.

364
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Speaker 2: Ever since I was younger, he would always tease me,

365
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,880
Speaker 2: make fun of me. So I was ready for him.

366
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Speaker 2: And when I saw him at the party, I saw

367
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Speaker 2: a man that was falling asleep. I saw an older man.

368
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,719
Speaker 2: It was like, how could you have held this in

369
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Speaker 2: your heart? And what talxdic was my aunt? So after

370
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,040
Speaker 2: the party is over and I'm like, okay, I'm there

371
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,399
Speaker 2: on the island and my aunt set the message with

372
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Speaker 2: my cousin, the uncle that I was really afraid of,

373
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Speaker 2: we want to see you. And it scared me still

374
00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:19,240
Speaker 2: because I'm like, there's no way in heaven that these

375
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:23,840
Speaker 2: people are going to want to see me and hug

376
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Speaker 2: me and hold me.

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Speaker 6: I know this is going to be a battle. And

378
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 6: again I said to myself, I'm not going.

379
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Speaker 2: And I lived in their house when my grandmother was

380
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Speaker 2: working and she had to come away to the US.

381
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Speaker 6: I lived with them, you know, so I was a

382
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Speaker 6: part of them. And when she.

383
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Speaker 2: Said she wanted to see me and please if I

384
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Speaker 2: could just find the time. And these women don't beg

385
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Speaker 2: you know, wes Indian women anything.

386
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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, And.

387
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Speaker 2: So last day my flight was leaving at midnight and

388
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,679
Speaker 2: my little brother Jay said to me, he said, listen,

389
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,040
Speaker 2: it's not the same. He said, they love you and

390
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,280
Speaker 2: I went and I got out of the car and

391
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 2: I walked into the house and the nostalgia hit and

392
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 2: there was the part of the living room that you

393
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:09,080
Speaker 2: couldn't sit in, and this was this was so important

394
00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:09,400
Speaker 2: to me.

395
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 6: Because there was always that part of the living room

396
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,080
Speaker 6: that you couldnot sit in.

397
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:17,320
Speaker 2: But when I walked into the house, it was there

398
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,760
Speaker 2: was no plastic, there was no barrier.

399
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,160
Speaker 6: It was just open.

400
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:25,439
Speaker 2: And she came to me, and my Auntie hugged me

401
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,359
Speaker 2: and she embraced me, and all the pears that I

402
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:32,199
Speaker 2: had were just like lifting from me. And then when

403
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,520
Speaker 2: she took me back to the bedrooms that I used

404
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,360
Speaker 2: to stay in, and I even made a joke, I said,

405
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:41,600
Speaker 2: now you put burglar proof on. I walked into the

406
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,680
Speaker 2: room and my uncle Leslie was laying on the bed

407
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,879
Speaker 2: and he reached up and he was like, come, come, Dominie,

408
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,960
Speaker 2: hug me, and I hugged him. And he saw my

409
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:53,120
Speaker 2: fiance and I was bold about it too. I was like,

410
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,400
Speaker 2: and this is my fiance. And he looked at him

411
00:19:56,400 --> 00:20:00,959
Speaker 2: and he said come here, and he hugged them too, and.

412
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,520
Speaker 4: It was just this like wow wow.

413
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,919
Speaker 2: And we talked for a little bit and it was

414
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,280
Speaker 2: all laughed. They didn't try to scold me. My aunt

415
00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,960
Speaker 2: was like, you made it. Look at what you did

416
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 2: for yourself, even in the midst of us telling you

417
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:19,480
Speaker 2: that you can and the animosity and stuff in the case,

418
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 2: you're still made that people look up to you.

419
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 6: I was like, whoa.

420
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,439
Speaker 2: My uncle Leslie was like, yes, I just held my

421
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 2: hand that man hardly used to touch people. And I left

422
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 2: that house feeling so content and so together. The worst

423
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:37,840
Speaker 2: thing you could do is let that anger and everything

424
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 2: cloud you to the point that you are so stuck

425
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:45,040
Speaker 2: that you don't realize that these people have grown. Yes.

426
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 2: So even though at times people talk about meeting closure,

427
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 2: sometimes that closure is not the AHA.

428
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,200
Speaker 6: Sometimes that closure is.

429
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 2: Saying, yes, I am mean, and I know what you

430
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 2: have said about me or how you have felt about me.

431
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 6: This is me and I am not careful of you.

432
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 2: And I didn't even have to say those things because

433
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 2: what came across as I stood in front of them

434
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 2: was we miss you.

435
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 6: How are you doing? Can you really change the game?

436
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 2: It's like, right, and if I didn't fight for it,

437
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:24,119
Speaker 2: I understood there being respectful of those that didn't comprehend,

438
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,440
Speaker 2: didn't understand, and that was another revelation too.

439
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,560
Speaker 6: I can't get mad at people.

440
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 2: Really, yes I can, but I have to practice self

441
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 2: control because they don't know it's ignorance and when you

442
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:36,680
Speaker 2: match ignorance with.

443
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,159
Speaker 4: Arrogance, that's a lethal combination right there.

444
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 3: Put it on a man.

445
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 1: For anyone who is listening to this, and it's currently

446
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,919
Speaker 1: going through the phase that Dominie's talking about that I

447
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 1: have been through as well, where the people who are

448
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 1: supposed to love you and protect you are making you

449
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,919
Speaker 1: feel like you are less than, that you are not

450
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 1: enough because you are different and they can't comprehend who

451
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 1: in what you are, that beautiful soul. Don't let it

452
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 1: stop you from still growing in your shine because it

453
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:28,959
Speaker 1: does get better, Yes, yes, it does over time, it

454
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 1: gets better.

455
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:30,400
Speaker 4: Yes.

456
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:35,000
Speaker 2: The hardest part though, is the kind of revenge and

457
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 2: drop the way that we try to seek it. Yeah,

458
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,879
Speaker 2: because when you're in that space of someone telling you

459
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 2: that you don't belong, that you shouldn't be right, and

460
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 2: it's so traumatizing. And you know, people use that word

461
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 2: so freely now and they don't understand that that trauma

462
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 2: really sits deep. It stays with you for years. It's

463
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,120
Speaker 2: not something that you could just use to defend your

464
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 2: arrogance or or something you can just used to defend

465
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:06,400
Speaker 2: your lack of growth. You know that trauma can take

466
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 2: us right off of our pack and off of our journey,

467
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 2: because that child out there, that person out there that

468
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 2: is fighting so hard so to fight space that they

469
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,399
Speaker 2: feel that they belong.

470
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 6: To, not that they have to fit into.

471
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:26,280
Speaker 2: In our society today, we constantly are forgetting that we're

472
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:30,439
Speaker 2: creating these boxes and saying that it's freedom and pulling

473
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 2: people into them. Yeah, you have to be able to

474
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:38,360
Speaker 2: find that strength to not get misled by the trauma

475
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:39,439
Speaker 2: inflicted on you.

476
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:43,440
Speaker 1: This is really good language and vocabulary for people who

477
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 1: don't have it, who are stuck at the dinner table

478
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 1: and don't know what to say.

479
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,680
Speaker 3: So thank you so much.

480
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 5: I was just going to say, when you went back

481
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:56,959
Speaker 5: to Tobago, given all that people said to you and

482
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 5: all that, did you feel like you belonged?

483
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 6: This is going to kind of be a big controversial.

484
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 2: I don't look for acceptance, and so when I was there,

485
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 2: I didn't look at it as they accepted me, even

486
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,959
Speaker 2: though others may have looked at it like that. I

487
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:19,440
Speaker 2: looked at it as they respected me. Now the acceptance

488
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 2: aspect comes, I believe, because you belong to a family,

489
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:28,160
Speaker 2: and so your family has to give you, especially when

490
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 2: you are looking to these people who have taken care

491
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 2: of you whatever. You looked at them for love, you

492
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 2: looked at them for guidance, and of course you looked at.

493
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 6: Them for approval.

494
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 2: So it's not that they have to approve you. Your

495
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 2: family has to accept that you are a part of

496
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 2: them and that's their work, that's not your work. So

497
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,959
Speaker 2: we walk around and say, well, my family doesn't accept me. No,

498
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,720
Speaker 2: my family doesn't accept who I am. My family can't

499
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:57,200
Speaker 2: relate to who I am. They do not understand or comprehend.

500
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,639
Speaker 2: But I'm not looking for their acceptance. And as far

501
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 2: as welcomed, I felt extremely welcome. That was beyond even

502
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 2: at the airport, people coming up to me. And it

503
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 2: was very different because one of the reasons that I

504
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:11,880
Speaker 2: got to help, well, there were.

505
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,160
Speaker 6: Few reasons I got out of there.

506
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:17,399
Speaker 2: One was the priest and the other was I saw

507
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,360
Speaker 2: a person that now.

508
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 6: I had to vo catular for that I believe was

509
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 6: trans and the way that that person was treated.

510
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 2: They couldn't get into a maxi taxi, they walked everywhere

511
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,880
Speaker 2: they had to go. They had to live under people's houses.

512
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 2: People would help stones and stuff and not to hurt

513
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 2: them because in to begel Room, it was never like violent.

514
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:38,360
Speaker 6: Or anything like that.

515
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 2: They telled the stone not to hit them, but you know,

516
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:43,400
Speaker 2: so you don't stay under their house, so you don't

517
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 2: come near them or something like that. And as a child,

518
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 2: I saw this person, and I knew from all along

519
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 2: that it wasn't a matter of seeing a woman for

520
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:59,359
Speaker 2: me to emulate. It was a matter of seeing women

521
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 2: and girls and saying, this is where I belong, you know.

522
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 2: And so I would see this person and the way

523
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,199
Speaker 2: they were treated let me know that I would not

524
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 2: have any kind.

525
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 6: Of space on that island. And then to go back.

526
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,479
Speaker 2: And to see people at the airport, you know, and

527
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:21,480
Speaker 2: there's no identification or language or presentation for being gay,

528
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,919
Speaker 2: but there is some times, you know.

529
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 6: And when I walk into.

530
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 2: The airport, you know, a young gentleman walks up to

531
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,679
Speaker 2: me and he's like mm hm, this electric came home.

532
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 2: And I was taken aback and then he was like yes.

533
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 2: He was like, Tobago is different. My aunt she was like, listen, Dominique,

534
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 2: when you come home. Yes, there are those that are still,

535
00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:48,639
Speaker 2: you know, in their old way, she said, but home

536
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:49,680
Speaker 2: has changed.

537
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 6: And then we were able to have that book.

538
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:55,639
Speaker 2: So I get back to this whole thing of senttoms

539
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 2: and respect. And we're walking around in society telling people

540
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 2: we accept them from the sense of authority.

541
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 6: You know, is you're walking up to me and you're saying, oh,

542
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 6: I like those pints.

543
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 2: In other words, you're saying, oh, it's okay for you

544
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 2: to wear them. You know, it's about your mannerism, your

545
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 2: body language. You know, there's a way to say, oh,

546
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 2: I really like those pints.

547
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 6: They look good on me. You know.

548
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't understand in our society how to compliment people.

549
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,720
Speaker 2: We always want to be an authority and don't understand

550
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 2: what authority is. You have to have authority over yourself,

551
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 2: your language, the way you speak to others, the way

552
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 2: you conduct yourself in public.

553
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 4: You know, I got to write down that's true.

554
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 2: So I don't do the acceptance thing, because we're all

555
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 2: human beings, we're all equal. And tolerance, huh, don't even

556
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 2: mention that word to me, because when you tell me

557
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:56,360
Speaker 2: about tolerating me.

558
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 6: I just I really look at you like you have.

559
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 2: Two horns and have lost your god given mind because

560
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 2: but you have to tell another human being that you

561
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 2: tolerate them, like mm hmm, you.

562
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 6: Got to tolerate the rain because you have to drive them.

563
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 6: But it's there.

564
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 3: It's like a pinata of gems.

565
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 1: They're just falling from the gems.

566
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:23,640
Speaker 7: And can I just say, what a.

567
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:28,639
Speaker 3: Moving, moving story to go back home. I'm so glad

568
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 3: you did not do my show.

569
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:32,680
Speaker 2: So much.

570
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 4: Ben, I was like, do you accept your apology?

571
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 1: What I'm saying is what a crossroads, right because you

572
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 1: have come to America. You have I mean the fighting

573
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 1: alone on so many levels, but then also the fighting

574
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 1: that you have to do in Hollywood. I just think

575
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 1: you're so powerful and hilarious and hilarious and hilarious.

576
00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 5: By the way, wait, you didn't even tell me how

577
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 5: the ball.

578
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 6: Was, darling.

579
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 2: All you had to do was as so in Tobago,

580
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 2: Keelan had this amazing ball. I just think that he

581
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 2: is a hero. And I said to him, I said, listen,

582
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 2: you did what I can do. I said, because you said,

583
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 2: I am from here, I'm staying here, I am not

584
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 2: going anywhere.

585
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 6: And I ran to the US. But if I didn't

586
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 6: run to the US. You couldn't have electure so good. Anyway,

587
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 6: we're even. And when you got up to.

588
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 2: The venue, it was the mucho jumbie, a part of

589
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 2: our culture.

590
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 6: The people on stills.

591
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 2: There was the red carpet, the open bar, there was

592
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 2: a band. Here's the thing that was the most spectacular

593
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 2: of all the turnout, the people seeing people of my

594
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 2: culture of that island coming out to an event, saying

595
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 2: to themselves, we are going to a ball. And you

596
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 2: know how I was sending people to turn their faces

597
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 2: up and stuff like that. Right, they will go to

598
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 2: an event, they will sit there like know No, it

599
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:13,480
Speaker 2: was so much joy. It was fun. We got toasted.

600
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:18,240
Speaker 2: My uncle Carl and Aunt Ruby were there. They were

601
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 2: invited to the ball a ruby, but Ruby is asa

602
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:24,719
Speaker 2: Ruby is a desire.

603
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:29,280
Speaker 6: Like at my grandmother's plozy. She walked in. She was

604
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 6: wearing hers year.

605
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 1: Okay, yes that's my okay, miss Ruby, I.

606
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 6: Have a few aunts like that. Total inspiration for me.

607
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 4: Oh okay, yes, my dog.

608
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 2: So everyone was well dressed and they walked the categury

609
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 2: and there was so much harmony. And I'm looking at

610
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 2: people and I'm like, you're from Tobago and they're like, yes,

611
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:54,719
Speaker 2: this is everything. What really got to me was I

612
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 2: love more work, right, I love to put into my

613
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 2: character and everything like that. But when people tell me

614
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 2: that post changed their lives, there's no times of bewildering

615
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 2: to see that three years later, two years later. It's

616
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 2: such a multise. It's such inspiration for so many people.

617
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 2: This is a little thing that my Trinidadian.

618
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 6: And brothers and sisters might not get.

619
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 2: At the ball, you know, people came up to me

620
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:20,200
Speaker 2: and they're like, Okay, make sure that whenever you talk

621
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 2: you let people know that you are from to Bagel,

622
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 2: Trinidad and to Bagel.

623
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 3: Okay, you were born.

624
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,479
Speaker 6: In to Bagel. It's a sister.

625
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 3: Okay to Begolians.

626
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 6: We have dealt with that for a very very long time.

627
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 4: Let them know.

628
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, because people say they always say Trinny, Triny, Trinny,

629
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 2: and we're like, we.

630
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 6: Are you know. So it's really fascinating to.

631
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 2: Some people that you know, and I didn't even look

632
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 2: at it in this life, but it's fascinating to know

633
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 2: that a little girl molested, you know, not having space

634
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 2: on an island like to Bagel, came out here and

635
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 2: followed my dreams.

636
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 6: So I hope that from me.

637
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 2: You know, from from this experience, because all of my

638
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 2: pastmates have amazing stories and stuff. But for me, I've

639
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 2: always said, I want that person that's in that part

640
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 2: of the world that may feel that it's so far removed,

641
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 2: that may not see any any space for them whatsoever.

642
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 6: To know that they can be.

643
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 2: So a lot of times when I want to close

644
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 2: these doors and just not deal with people because I

645
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 2: love people, I just don't like them.

646
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 1: I'm not here, I'm not.

647
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:46,920
Speaker 2: Like when I watch Instagram and TikTok. Sometimes it disheartens me,

648
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 2: especially when I see my own black sisters and brothers

649
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 2: engaging in this kind of warfare and we're going back

650
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,959
Speaker 2: and forth. We are killing each other, you know, and

651
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 2: people are sitting back and watching that.

652
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 6: You know we are we are claiming.

653
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 2: To fight, but at times we are fighting to be

654
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 2: as privileged as instead of to turn the tables and

655
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 2: be as equal. And sometimes you don't want to be

656
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 2: as equal. You want to change it totally. Change the

657
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 2: dinner settings, change the table, change the menu because what

658
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 2: was on the menu before was not working and cannot work.

659
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 1: My gosh, can you announce your bid for presidency.

660
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:33,960
Speaker 3: Don't offense Joe.

661
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:38,800
Speaker 1: Biden, but I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

662
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 3: Can you seeing it?

663
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 1: Okay, So this just feels like a trivial question after

664
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 1: again the the important emotional ted talk that we just

665
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 1: went down right now that you know, I'm just I'm

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00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: ready to do a whole sit up. We ask all

667
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 1: our guests, just kidding, not a wholest one. We asked

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00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 1: all our guests, what's the most adult thing that you

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00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 1: want to do for yourself this year that you haven't

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00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 1: had time to do?

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00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 2: Now?

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00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 1: For me, I was like, I just said, I want

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00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 1: to get like a pedicure and a twenty minute massage

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00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 1: on my feet. Somebody had said to get a top

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00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:25,880
Speaker 1: sheet for their bed because it's just been all duvet.

676
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 1: It could be a trip, it could it could be

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00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 1: as big or as small as you want. What's the

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00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,920
Speaker 1: most adult thing that, yes, that you haven't had time.

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00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 3: To do for yourself yet, that you want to do

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00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:37,919
Speaker 3: this year?

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00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 7: Well, yeah, that's the thing, right, yes, ma'am.

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00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 2: Okay, the most adult thing that I think I have

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00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 2: done is walkingizing time for myself, you know, and not

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00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:03,320
Speaker 2: feeling guilty for it. You know, things have to be done.

685
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 2: Adulting is life. We have to do things that are going.

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00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,799
Speaker 6: To help us through those tough times. Then those tough

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00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 6: times to be just getting up out of bed going

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00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 6: to a job that you may not like you know.

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00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 2: To me, anytime I hear the word adult, it always

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00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 2: comes with responsibility, and responsibility also means that I have

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00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:26,279
Speaker 2: to be responsible for myself and being responsible for myself.

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00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 6: As I'm adult, I should know like I would tell a.

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00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 2: Kid, you know, gone bad at a certain time, if

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00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:32,719
Speaker 2: you want to wake up at a certain time, or

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00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 2: they're going to be consequences, you're.

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00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 6: Going to be tired that.

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00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:35,479
Speaker 5: Yeah.

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00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 2: So I know that without that teedicure or that manicure right,

699
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:43,920
Speaker 2: or these nails done right, I'm.

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00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,840
Speaker 6: Going to be slightly distracted.

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00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:49,240
Speaker 2: So when I'm doing my books and my finances and stuff,

702
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 2: I'm going to look at my hands and go, shoot,

703
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 2: I need to get my nails done.

704
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,239
Speaker 6: Shoot, And then I'm a miss that dicimal point.

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00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,000
Speaker 3: So look at that. Look at that.

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00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 2: Adult thing for me is being respect with me and

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00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:06,439
Speaker 2: that I accept the tough times. I accept that time

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00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be a big old kid on a do

709
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 2: It's not hard, it's just reality.

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00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,479
Speaker 6: They're difficult situations.

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00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 2: Okay, more where.

712
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:23,800
Speaker 7: Where?

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00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I'll see the matrix.

714
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 6: Now, you just gotta get it done.

715
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 4: Get it done.

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00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

717
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 2: We walk around and we complain, and you know something,

718
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 2: to be happy for everything you have and when things

719
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 2: don't make you happy, what do you do? You found

720
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 2: out why they're not making you happy?

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00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 6: Get into that therapy. They told me I was crazy

722
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 6: for being in therapy. I looked at them, I say,

723
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 6: you're crazy for not doing it. Have you heard yourself?

724
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,239
Speaker 4: That's true, Dominique.

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00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 5: If I could just have you have a keeping with

726
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 5: me every afternoon, I think I'd be with into shape

727
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,279
Speaker 5: and at least ten to fifteen years.

728
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 4: Thank you.

729
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 3: So we know how busy you are. We know how

730
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 3: busy you are.

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00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,720
Speaker 1: And we appreciate every morsel that was dripped and dropped.

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00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:22,319
Speaker 4: Thank you so much, Dominique.

733
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:23,880
Speaker 3: This was so wonderful.

734
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 6: This was wonderful for me to thank you so very much.

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00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 3: Oh what a great episode.

736
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, Michelle, I feel like I just got

737
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,479
Speaker 5: up from the most refreshing nap of my life.

738
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 4: Yeah you know what I'm saying.

739
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like it feels like I just got out of

740
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 5: the hammock of wellness.

741
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 3: There she is amazing.

742
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 2: You know.

743
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:53,800
Speaker 1: You see somebody just like just pop on a screen

744
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:57,920
Speaker 1: and in a story, right, yeah, and like in this

745
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 1: situation that's like well lit and carefully curated, and you think, okay, okay,

746
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 1: But then you meet them one on one and I'm just,

747
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,800
Speaker 1: you know, breathless. And it's not because my heart is

748
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 1: full and my jeus a tight.

749
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,320
Speaker 5: It is because the story, the story of the glory Man, Yes,

750
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 5: Domini contains multitudes. And to have a full heart like

751
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:23,720
Speaker 5: that and go around being the fighter that she is.

752
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:30,399
Speaker 1: While spreading joy and wisdom and also having joy herself.

753
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, rare in this world.

754
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 1: Yes, and I do believe there is more of it.

755
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 1: We need to take care of each other. We need

756
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 1: to stop using religion as a platform for hatred.

757
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:45,720
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

758
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 1: We need to understand that we might not understand something

759
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 1: and that's okay. We can learn about it still, because

760
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 1: the world was different even ten years ago. But there's

761
00:38:56,680 --> 00:39:00,399
Speaker 1: no reason for us to want to kill somebody because

762
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 1: they're different.

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00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, of course.

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00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,439
Speaker 5: I was just touched by the fact that, like, through

765
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 5: it all, what I observed was the use of chosen

766
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 5: family to come to terms with biological Yeah.

767
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:14,279
Speaker 4: I was blown away.

768
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,239
Speaker 5: I mean, your boy kind of welled up a little

769
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:18,280
Speaker 5: bit here and there.

770
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: Chills during the course of this chills you guys, just

771
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 1: if you haven't seen pose, what's wrong with you? You

772
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:29,880
Speaker 1: can also buy her memoir Transsexual from Tobago if you

773
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 1: want to hear more about her story, because there's more.

774
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 4: Not Trinidad, Tobago, not Trinidad.

775
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 1: But Tobagel And I didn't even know that Tobago had

776
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 1: an airport.

777
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 3: You want to say that, I didn't know.

778
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 2: I didn't know.

779
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:45,439
Speaker 1: She is special, She's dynamite. I can't wait to see

780
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 1: what else she does.

781
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 5: That was one of our most trenching episodes ever. That

782
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 5: is deep. That was a Marianna's trench. That was the

783
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,759
Speaker 5: bottom of the ocean. Okay, because I'm sorry to nerd

784
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 5: out and blurred out, but that's what I do when

785
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 5: emotion is on the line. It just felt so good

786
00:39:59,320 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 5: hearing that.

787
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, you guys, thanks for listening.

788
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 4: Bye, everyone, love you. This has been an exactly right production.

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00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 3: Our senior producer is g Howley.

790
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,320
Speaker 4: Our associate producer is Alex Cheat.

791
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 3: This episode was mixed by John Bradley.

792
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 4: Our Guest booker is Patrick Cottner.

793
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 3: Additional production support from Hannah Kyle Crichton.

794
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 4: Theme song and live show djang is by Don will Our.

795
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,240
Speaker 3: Live show producer is Marion Ways.

796
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,360
Speaker 4: Artwork by Jamie Bechtel.

797
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 3: Photography by Guys vander Most.

798
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 5: Executive produced by Karen Kilgera, Georgia Hartstar and Daniel Kramer.

799
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 3: Follow the show on Instagram at Adulting the Pod.

800
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:42,280
Speaker 5: Email your questions to Adulting Questions at gmail dot com.

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00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 6: Mmmm